 Hi, I'm George cow and today I am with Kim Coleman and we're going to talk about a topic that is maybe a little bit difficult but important for so many people and that's the topic of Trauma and how do we deal with? painful experiences that we have been through or witnessed and Kim has just a wonderful and gentle way to help people through that so first of all before I go any further I just want to say thank you Kim for joining me for this Hi, thank you George. I'm really excited to check with you today. Yeah, thank you So Kim is a client of mine, and I just thought that she would she has some valuable wisdom to share with you all So let me first begin with her bio I'll reach her you know share with your background and then we'll get into this topic of how do we how do we work through? Painful experiences in a gentle way. All right, so here's Kim's bio Kim Coleman is an online counselor and coach who specializes in helping people work through trauma and stress in a Blind and gentle way she has over 10 years of experience working in this field and Even three years of doing volunteer work for the South African police service trauma unit Kim works with people who have been through an event that caused them great stress and helps them to understand what happens to the body In times of stress and trauma as well as finding and clearing the triggers that are associated with the event She not only provides counseling for the event But she also gives coaching to help people move forward with confidence to reach their visions or goals She walks the path together with them in simple small doable steps that allow them to quickly see Their success and they're thereby boost the momentum. So great to have you here Kim and Maybe you can start by by telling us. Why is it important? You know what one of the you know, you talk about Working through trauma and stress in a kind and gentle way and how is that different I guess then How people usually work through trauma or how they might imagine working through trauma? Yeah, George, I think that you know, I Kind of say, you know You a traumatic event You know, generally people it's something that They don't want to talk about or it's painful and we you know, we kind of think okay. Well, you know, I'm doing okay We try and be like an ostrich and we stick our head in the sand and we hope it's going to go away or we stick a band-aid on and We don't we don't want to rehash these painful memories, but if we don't try and clear the emotions or these triggers are going to come up and trip us up and There are there are ways to work through them where we don't have to rip that band-aid off We can kind of take it off gently without making it painful And it is it is vital to try and clear the emotions That are attached so that those triggers don't catch us Because you know, they could catch us 10 years further along the line All right, that makes sense and so You know, what's like the first step that someone should do when they are wanting to recover from a traumatic event? So the first step I would I would I would encourage somebody to do is you know Everybody says once you've had a traumatic event. You need to go and talk to somebody And if I can just share that was my How I came about being really passionate about this is I went through my own really traumatic event Where I had a home invasion. They came in they tied me up they beat me up and they shot my husband and That in itself, you know, you then go through the trauma of you know, giving police statements And everybody says okay now you need to go and speak to somebody about this because you have to get over this and you have to heal Once you've been through something like that The last thing you want to go and do is rehash your story to somebody be traumatized again So you just rather don't talk to anybody about it but if you don't clear those and Those emotions or those triggers that are going to keep coming up It is going to cause you stress And if you can't find a way to release the stress or release those emotions they're going to cause you more stress and health problems along the way, so it is so important to clear those and you know, that's Made me look for ways To be able to help myself So that was my whole journey to find ways that people could seek help which was kind and gentle that wasn't going to re-traumatize them Wow, that is what an amazing experience you went through What what happens physiologically to the body when when someone is going through trauma like is that something we need to be aware of? Yes, absolutely. So this was this is one of the things that I when I work with my clients is I try to If one can understand What actually happens to the body? It helps you to many times when people have been through a really traumatic experience They beat themselves up because they say gee, you know, I should have done this or I could have done this So why didn't I do that? So that plays quite dramatically and Other people judge, you know, or you know, you should have done this or you should have done that So if we can understand what our body does in the moment And you know, our body is there to keep us safe. So if we understand the stress process of what actually happens When something is going on obviously our eyes and our ears or our receptors, they sense something's going on And the amygdala is a part of our brain That contributes to the emotional processing. It sends a distress signal to the keepers of campus part of our brain and that's the area of our brain that functions like a command center and That communicates through the rest of our body through the nervous system So what that does is it activates all the hormones and it sends it releases all these hormones through the body and The result of that is it pumps More blood through the system gets your heart racing pumps more oxygen Enables you to breathe. You can hear better. You can see better. So that's actual physiological process Which our body does for us and it allows us gets us into that You know, we can run faster. We can fight. So it's a whole physiological thing So that's actually real and it's in split seconds. So we we actually not in control of that So if we understand that process, that's one process and we never know how we're gonna respond in the moment So that's the first process that we need to understand and that's and if people understand that that's normal That's nothing that we have control over The second process to understand is once that's all happened And and you know in the situation there is an emotional Thing attached to this which is an emote all the emotions of fear and So there's many emotions But there's a whole physiological side of it where the body has had all of these hormones rushed through it And it's there to keep us safe. Let us run But once all these hormones have come through our body the immediate after effect is you know, we Maybe we can't sleep. We have insomnia. We can physically have diarrhea. We can physically be ill We can lose weight. We can gain weight. So those are all the physiological sides That we experience and there are actually real so if people can understand that as well They can understand that these are actually real symptoms that they're going through So putting those two into into perspective The other thing that I wanted to chat about is you know when people hear the word trauma They often say, ah, you know trauma they often associate the word trauma is that's only for people that have had really Hectic stuff happen to them. Those are for war veterans or those are for people that have been You know really badly traumatized and when we talk of the word trauma, there's the talk of I Don't know if you've ever heard about people talk of big tea traumas and small tea traumas So I can just explain what the two differences are when we talk of a big tea trauma That's normally when somebody's life has actually been threatened. So for me, I had a big tea trauma in my life was threatened It would be in a really bad car accident or if there was a earthquake or something like that And yes, people are really traumatized in those but when we talk of small tea traumas You know, those would be if you were witness to something like that Or could be something from your childhood, but those are equally traumatic to people So a lot of people when they say, okay. Well, I've been through a trauma, but it wasn't that bad. It doesn't mean that You know, it's That that they don't need help So, you know, it's equally In need of some attention That's helpful. What about um Experiences with like relationships or with career I guess that would be Especially if you know one's life wasn't being threatened in danger, but it was like a like a really serious, you know, breakup of a relationship or You were fired from your job or humiliated at work. Would that be considered small tea trauma or Yeah, correct. That would be a small tea trauma and you know equally it's For that person it is a trauma and um, you know, they would need to address this multi trauma and be given The equal amount of attention And care and kindness as if a person had had a big tea trauma So it is just as valuable Yeah, and this is this is also applied to um grief so losing somebody uh, is that Yeah, correct. Absolutely. So that's absolutely a small tea trauma and Um needs to be dealt in exactly the same way. So I find that some people just you know, they feel okay Well, it wasn't wasn't such a big tea trauma. So, you know, I don't really need any any assistance, but You know, everybody does, you know, for me It's so valuable that people do get the help that they need And can just clear the emotions around that And and understand that it can be done in a gentle way And what are some of the exercises or tools that you use with clients to clear these emotions and you know So one of one of the tools that I found works really well is I use EFT Or tapping. Yes. Um, and this works really well in Actually working with the emotions surrounding the trauma to clear the intensity and to bring the Yeah, to bring the huge intensity down on the emotions surrounding that EFT in short is it's emotional freedom techniques or tapping and it's almost like um acupuncture And yeah without using needles And um, it's basically working on the pressure points and they would just be tapping with with with the fingers um, it's Really simple technique that we use. It's totally Uninvasive it's used, you know with the clothes on It's a tool that we teach that I teach the clients And it's a skill that they use that they can do ongoing for themselves Um, so that's a very powerful tool to bring the emotions down um, and I also once we've brought the emotions down we can then try and identify the triggers That is triggering on these events and once they are once we've lowered the emotions we can try and look at the triggers and then Work around these often we have to work around the triggers um, and Once you've tried to work around the triggers um, and if I can just relate back Um or to my incident So when I before I was attacked I actually Went downstairs to make a cup of tea So my trigger at night was every time I went to make a cup of tea to go downstairs to make a cup of tea That was immediately my association Was going downstairs to make a cup of tea um So to take that trigger away from me what I did was I took a kettle upstairs So I was still able to make tea at night, but it wasn't my association of going downstairs to make a cup of tea So it was a very simple change of their trigger um So it's almost like Moving around the trigger so that I wasn't triggered anymore. So it's working around those triggers Yeah, that's uh, that's a good example. Um, you also have worked with Clients on these things obviously Is there any other kind of example that you could share with with us on how you help the client? Find or kind of clear these triggers There was another very powerful. Um, so as you went back before and you you say I've I volunteered with the South African police services um, and I did three years volunteer work Where if there was a crime scene they would call us on scene um And I used EFT there, um on a lady who had just been robbed and tied up um, and It was immediately to try and Calm her down because she was in a really bad bad state of shock So EFT was can be used To immediately calm you in an emotion of extreme um state of shock And this you know the police were trying to question her to get a statement Which was valid because they're there to do a job But as she was sitting in her chair She was just literally falling asleep and that again if I can relate back to She's had this incident the body flooded her with all these hormones So all these hormones were going around her and the effect was like as I said, you know You have insomnia and you have diarrhea. So they were just making her go to sleep So she couldn't help her state because that was physically what was happening to her So with EFT what I did was I asked permission if I could Hold her hand and touch her which is essential and I just started tapping on her points Um, and she was actually able to sit there and be awake and be present And she gave the most incredible statement to the police that could question her And at the time I was absolutely gobsmacked. She described The clothes that they wore down to the makeup shoes that they had on down to the hats they wore Which I was just amazed because I know when I was questioned by the police I mean I I couldn't even really when you're in such shock to try and say what color hat they had on what color shoes So it's just incredible how something like that can just focus you Um and bring all your attention. Uh, it's just incredible. Absolutely incredible. Wow That's a great. That's a great example Um, are there any other tools that you use with with clients to to help them heal from these things? The other thing I really like to do is once the clients have um Once we've tried to um Clear their triggers the one thing I really like to Um bring to mind is that you know, once they've gone through something like this You know, they've been through a negative incident to try and find a positive There's always something positive in In an even though it was a really bad experience There's there is a positive art of it. Whether the positive been, you know, you find that you have a great support structure um Or you have a bond or you find something is Is to focus on a positive art of it um And build on that positive Um, the other thing that was is very empowering as well is that you were a victim of that moment for that second But do you want to be a victim of that circumstance for the rest of your life? um No matter what the circumstance was, you know, if for example, it was A harsh robbery or whatever they, you know, they had a moment of your time But do you want to give those people a rest of your life? um and you know For me, that was the most empowering thing is that I'm not going to give them another minute of my time Um, and that is I like to empower them with that um some of the exercises I like to Is I like to give them some sort of confidence building or gratitude? I get them to do a gratitude journal um And that builds their confidence um I also find that They focus a lot on the negative because our negative our brains are very attuned to grabbing onto the negative and when we're in that state We are always going to the negative what it was so bad So to try and train their brain into seeing the positive things um So that's one thing I try and get them to do Um, I make sure that they have a way to express their anger because there's always a lot of anger Um, and it's not good to stall that anger inside. There's got to be a way to to get the anger out So in some form of exercising or journaling to to channel the anger is really important Um, I also make sure they have some sort of resource or sort of anchoring image That they can hold on to um In some form of safety or comfort um in those moments um And uh, I'm just aware of the time and I want to make sure you have a chance to share How might people work with you if they're watching this or listening to this and they want to they want to reach out to you for some support And uh, what what what service do you offer for those who are who are going through these kinds of things? um, I'd like to encourage people to um go to my website contact page um And um in the website, I just want to make sure people know it is colman kim dot com. It's c o l m a n k i m dot com so colman with a c colman kim dot com Slash contact. Yeah, and I'll be sure to put the link in the notes of the video Yes, correct. Um, they can just connect with me there. They can ask me any questions or request a complimentary call and I'd be happy to chat with them um and um I've gotten an upcoming offer for november where i'm offering a 40 discount on my one-on-one sessions um, and I've I'm extending this uh Now for the month of october as a bonus for the interview call Very wonderful. So um, if anyone is feeling connected to what kim is saying and you know that you've got some Some trauma big t or small t trauma to to work through from your past so that you can have more freedom from it and move forward in a more More courageous and and a positive way then I recommend that you give a give uh kim a contact and and have a conversation with her and And see how she might be able to help you So kim, thank you so much for your work. Is there anything else you want to share with us as we as we close No, that's it. Thank you so much George. It's been lovely chatting to you. Thank you so much. Thanks kim. Thank you