 So this story happens approximately in 1735. France have laid siege on Parma in Spain and things have become so bad that the army cannot fight their way out of it and so the Bishop of Parma is sent to see the commander of the French armies, the Duke of Vendor, to plead the case for Parma. Vendor unfortunately has the reputation of being the most disgusting man ever. He's violent, deported, insolent, basically he's repulsive and when the Bishop of Parma comes he decides he's going to be at his worst. So not only does he greet the Bishop while sitting on the pot, he also gets up in the middle of the Bishop's speech, turns his dirty bump towards him which is apparently also covered in lots of pussy boils, turns it towards him and wipes it in front of his face. The Bishop is so offended that he leaves immediately and he refuses to go back. The problem however is that the siege is still on. Somebody still needs to go and talk to the French army, somebody still needs to be the diplomat but after this incident no one is prepared to go. Enter Albarone. Albarone is a con man who somehow managed to fake both a title and a position for himself at court. Nobody knows how but the most important thing about him is that he's the guy who will do stuff that nobody else is prepared to do, all the dodgy stuff and so in the end when no one else can be found to go and see Vendor, Albarone is sent on that mission. Vendor receives him in exactly the same way as he had received the Bishop, sitting on the pot and then halfway through his speech getting up and turning his dirty bottom with the pussy boils on it towards Albarone ready to wipe it. But before he can even reach down to start cleaning it, Albarone throws his hands up in the air in complete ecstasy and he exclaims, oh coolio the Angelo, this is the ass of an angel and then he rushes forward and he kisses it. Long story short, after the Oscars saying Vendor and Albarone had ended up becoming the best of friends, some say they were even lovers but who actually knows about that right? What we do know however is that Albarone from having started life as a mere con man and having to invent his own title and trying to slide his way into every little position in court ended up becoming one of the most powerful men in the Royal Court of Spain. The longer I live, the stranger the stories become.