 Why narcissists make everything so damn hard? Everything is a difficult struggle with a narcissist. It requires a great deal of effort and determination. It feels like being with them is a very difficult thing to do. It feels like a lot of work. A lot of mental and physical effort. It feels like an unpleasant competition for power. There's always something wrong. Because narcissists are dysfunctional people. They're unable to deal adequately with normal social relations. They're unable to connect and work with other people. They're unable to enjoy the companionship of other people. So dysfunctional people function more efficiently in a dysfunctional environment. In an environment that is not working normally. An environment that is unhappy and unsuccessful. Because an environment that has structure and arrangement doesn't allow them to conceal their identity. It's easily identified. So the narcissist has to make things hard. So that they can overcome and take control of you. So that they can feel comfortable. If things are going well. They're unable to rest because of anxiety and boredom. They're not suited to that type of environment. And they become anxious. So they will deliberately create drama and chaos. Because it keeps you focused on trying to fix a problem. But it's a problem that you will never fix. Because it's not your problem to fix. But if you do try to fix it. They will always find something else. You will always be fixing something. Because it keeps you distracted. It leaves you unable to concentrate. Because you're preoccupied by something worrying and unpleasant. Because their behavior is unacceptable. But they always have an excuse for what they do. Even though they're able to control their behavior. They just choose not to. Because they succeed in harmful and unpleasant interactions. It gives them a thrill. It makes them feel alive. It makes them feel normal when you're arguing. When you're against each other. It makes them feel comfortable. Because it's what they used to. It's what they experienced in their childhood. If the narcissist keeps things complicated with you. It keeps things disorganized. It creates confusion and disorder. Because you're so focused on trying to fix things. That you don't see what they're doing behind the scenes. They're watching you. Ensure that you're dealing with these tasks that they're giving to you. To keep you distracted. To keep the focus off of them. Because they know they're wicked and immoral. They know they're harmful and unpleasant. But if you accept the truth of these difficulties and problems that they're creating. It gives them more time. It takes your attention and focus off of them. It causes you to manage your expectations and lower yourself to their level. Because once you start playing at their level. They've got you. Because now they can say that you're no better than them. And you may find yourself involved in things. That are foolish and inappropriate. And then it will seem like maybe they do have a valid opinion. Which is when they will flip it on you. And say that you're the crazy one. You're the one who is out of control. You're the one who has the issues. And they were fine before they got involved with you. They complicated things so that you're never going to be relevant or appropriate. To what is happening or being discussed. You're never going to be as good as you can be. You're never going to see that they are the issue. Narcissists make everything so damn hard. They do it because you're more inclined to hold on to something that is a difficult task. Something that requires a lot of your effort. Because it feels like you really had to work for it. To get it to where it is. Maybe things were really bad in the beginning. But as you began to invest more of your time and energy. They started to get a little bit better. But they could have controlled their behavior from the very beginning. They knew exactly what they were doing. They could have been acting the way you wanted them to all along. But they chose not to. They just gave you the illusion that you were making progress. They made you think that it was the result of your efforts. But they were controlling you. They were doing it on purpose. They were deliberately causing you harm and trouble. They were deliberately being disorderly and disruptive. They were deliberately being unreceptive to discipline and control. They did it on purpose. To make you work. Because people tend to value and hold on to things that they had worked for. But when they've got you to put in the work. You're not inclined to give up on them. Which is exactly what they want. They want someone who is going to be patient with them. They want someone to continue with them despite difficulties. So they've already prepared and trained you for this purpose. By then being complicated. Because you don't want to give up on all the work that you've done. To get them to where they are now. You don't want all of your work to go to no purpose or result. But it is all for nothing. Because it's just an act. They're pretending to make progress. They're pretending to get better. They're pretending to understand certain things that you say. But the same things repeat themselves over and over again. Because they keep you locked in. By keeping you in a dysfunctional state. When they make everything hard. It gives them the advantage over you. They can control you. And you may think you're helping them. You may think you have a position over them. But they're just playing a game. They're making things complicated on purpose. Because they've already studied you. They know what type of person you are. They know you don't like to give up on things that you've worked for. They know you don't like to fail. So if you're putting in all of this work. They will act like they're more controllable. They will give you the illusion that you can deal with them without difficulty. But that's not the reality of it. Because it isn't real. They could have been that way from the very beginning. But they had to make you work for it. It's a trap. They tricked and deceived you into doing something contrary to your interests and intentions. It's all a game. Their actions were done with full awareness of the likely consequences. It wasn't a coincidence. It wasn't an unexpected random event. It's worked for them before. They use the same tactics over and over again. And they see that it works. Which is why they keep you in a state of confusion and disorder. Where you're constantly trying to make things right. Because it keeps you with them for a lot longer. When there's always a problem. When they're not doing what you want them to do. When you're constantly trying to fix things. So that is why narcissists will make everything difficult and complicated. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching.naxiv.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.