 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great yieldess lead. He was brought to you transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. And tonight Kraft, makers and importers of the world's favorite cheese, wants to tell you about a real triumph of cheese making. It's Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese, already sliced and sealed by Kraft for your convenience. Natural Swiss cheese is the kind with the holes, and Kraft Natural Swiss has what we call heart of the cheese goodness all through. We're sure this delicious cheese and handy packages will become one of your favorite foods. Try it soon, Kraft Natural Swiss Cheese. My uncle, a great dillers leaf, sure pretends to know a lot about women. He thinks he's a real lady killer. Should have heard him when he came home the other night. Big for ya. I just got a fresh haircut, my boy. Little sword, isn't it? Well, I'm working up to a crew cut. Yeah, I don't think I'm too old for it. Do you? I'd rather not answer that. What? Why don't you leave your hair alone and get a crew cut for your mustache? Yes, yes. Well, think how much shorter you could smoke your cigars. Leroy, you may not appreciate my sartorial splendor, but the ladies do. One of them must have gotten a whiff of your hair, Tonic. She just phoned. You? Miss Henshaw. She wants you to call her. Good. And I'll call her in a little while. Do we have a date tonight? Back to you? You tell me what? Leroy told me to remind him to tell you that Miss Henshaw told him to tell you to call her. He told me. That's good. Ain't you gonna call her? Yeah, there's no hurry, Bernie. She'll still be sitting by the phone. Yes. Get him. Well, Miss Henshaw depends on me to take her out. Doesn't date anybody else. She'll be waiting. Gosh, a guy gets a haircut that goes to his head. Let's just be sure it comes with that, Leroy. I wonder if this is going to be the year? The year for what? The year when you and Miss Henshaw get married. Bernie, I have no thoughts of marriage. No, but she might. Of course there ain't me here. Any year you get married, you start leaping. Bernie, my relationship with Miss Henshaw is purely platonic. Yes. Is that good? Very good. It means we enjoy being together, but there's nothing serious between us. Of course, I can't help it if she prefers my company to that of any other man. Oh, no, sir. Oh, you're so modest. It's true, my boy. I rate A1 with Irene. Oh, brother. I guess I'd better phone her and see what's on her mind. Hello? Irene, this is Drachmorton. Oh, hello, Drachmorton. Leroy said you called. I hope you haven't been sitting there waiting for the phone to ring. Sitting, waiting. You haven't? No, no. I've been rushing, madly, getting my apartment straight. For our date tonight? No, that's why I phoned you earlier, Drachmorton. I'm afraid I can't see you tonight. You're kidding. Well, don't be offended. I just thought since nobody else asked you out... Wow! Oop. You were about to say... I was meeting somebody at the train. Oh, I know, but I hadn't thought of an out of towner. A friend or some upstart? I guess you'll never know. Right? I'd intended inviting you to meet him, but perhaps it's better if you don't. No, Irene, what's he like? Who is he? Boyfriend? But Irene lost my girl. Oh, for a while with you. Yeah, well, but you didn't have to put on all that hair tonic just for me. But she's meeting somebody at the train. She threw you over for the engineer? Maybe that's ridiculous. I don't know. She might like a well-traveled man. Irene was very mysterious about this newcomer, Pee-Pee. You don't tell me. Yeah. Just when you think you can count on a girl, she throws you a curb. Well, if a girl doesn't have a curb, she'd better have an angle. Irene could be just trying to make me jealous, but it won't work. I don't care who he is. Who do you suppose he is, Pee-Pee? She'd give you any hints? She just said it was a man. Well, I don't want to give hints to me. All right, George, I'm not going to stand idly by while some stranger comes to town and takes my girl. I had the date first. Yeah, I think I'll stop by there this evening. My, my. You know, I've been thinking about it, and perhaps I owe Irene an apology. She probably thinks I was prying too much. I'll just go over there and see for myself. You must have noticed me, right? I don't know if that's a good idea. Of course, I'll take her a box of candy. No, that's a good idea. What have you got, Pee-Pee? Well, from what you said, I'd say you owe her about a 750 apology. Pee-Pee, that looks like a five-pound box. No, you may need a light candy to make up with her. Oh? You keep popping bun-buns in her mouth. She can't argue back. Well, I'll take it, Pee-Pee. No, no. Yeah, I think I'll take her some flowers. I'll show that guy. Well, if you have more money to spend, take her some of my perfume. Why perfume? Because I don't tell flowers. Oh, besides, you might say perfume is made from flowers, with the juice mashed out, and it lasts longer. Look, with that new fellow hanging around, I want something in her apartment that'll remind her of me. Well, how about a bottle of distilled water? Goodbye, Pee-Pee. Don't speak, she's with. And I'm loaded. Candy, flowers, perfume, and a gift certificate from Hogan Brothers. Yeah, a crowd that met her right out of her apartment. Why, it's rock, Morton. I mean. I didn't expect to see you. Are you on your way home from the market? Yeah, no. These packages are for you. For me? Wow. Come on in, rock, Morton. Thank you. I see you have company. Yes, yes. Someone I want you to meet. Hello there. Hello. You're a little older than I thought you'd be. Rock, Morton, this is my father. Your father? Oh, he looks very young for your father. Make up your mind, boy. Well, Irene, these are for you, all of them. Oh, thank you. What's your last name? It's Mr. Gildersleeve, father. I'm very happy to know you, Mr. Henshaw. Why don't you two sit down and talk while I put these flowers in the vase? They're lovely, Rock, Morton. Glad you liked them, Irene. A lot of packages, Mr. Gildersleeve. Aren't you a little late for Christmas? Oh, no, I gave your daughter more than this on Christmas. No, what did you say your first name is, son? It's Rock, Morton. I'll try to remember that. Good. Oh, uh, care to have one of my daughter's bonbons, son. I'll open them up. Well, thank you. With price tags too long, isn't it? That PB. Hey, hey, hey. $7.50. Are you sweet on my daughter, or don't you know what to do with your mom? Well, right, George, Mr. Henshaw, I like you. You're all right. But I like you too, son. Have a bonbon. I want you to meet a good friend of mine. You seem to be a pretty big man in town, son. Well, it can't do without a water commissioner, you know. Like I always say, nobody can take a bath without me. Very good. Yeah, hello, PB. Well, hello, Mr. Jonas. Hey, Mr. PB, I want you to meet Dad Henshaw. Dad? My, my. Glad to know you, Mr. PB. I'm happy to know you, too. This is the gentleman Irene met at the train. You don't say. Yeah. PB, see if you can fix up Mr. Henshaw with a box of cigars. Very well. Make it coronas. Well, the last Corona I had was given to me by the governor. Yeah, I'm afraid I'll have to get back to the office now, Mr. Henshaw. Care to come along with me to the city hall and meet the mayor? Well, I want to meet him, but why don't I sit a spell and talk to Mr. PB? Yeah, just what you say. I'm happy to have you. Take care of him, PB. I have to get back on the job. See you later, Mr. Henshaw. Goodbye, PB. Yeah. There goes a clever fellow, Mr. PB. Well, let me say I'm glad you got that impression. Yes. He's been mighty nice to my daughter and me. Of course, I can see through him. Okay. If I ever saw a man in love, he's the pigeon. Well, Mr. Gildesby may be a pigeon, but I don't think he's ready to have his wings clipped. Well, it's about time a nice man like him settled down with a nice girl like my daughter. Well, Henshaw is a fine young woman, all right. Yes, sir. Oh, say, you know, Mr. PB, while I'm here for the rabbit hunting, I might just attend a wedding. Well, I didn't know your daughter was considering Mr. Gildesby. Oh, she's never been in a hurry. Well, maybe there's a Mr. Gildesby. Then it's time I lit the fire under the bonfire. Yes, sir. Throckmorton has a good job, the respect of the community. Yes. He looks hailing hearty. Yes, he'd make a fine son-in-law. Yeah, that could be. But they do say you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Oh, humbug. I'll prod him up the aisle before he knows what's happening. No, no, I wouldn't say that. We'll be back in just a minute. One of the most delicious sandwiches in the world is also one of the simplest. It's that old favorite Swiss cheese on rye. And here's how to make that sandwich more delicious than ever. Just use Kraft natural Swiss cheese. Natural Swiss cheese is that old familiar kind with the holes, you know. But now this natural Swiss cheese comes sliced and sealed by Kraft. And most important of all comes with real heart of the cheese goodness. In the wheels of natural Swiss, the cheese at the center or heart of the wheel has a better flavor and finer texture than the cheese at the outside edges. But Kraft natural Swiss has this heart of the cheese goodness in every single bite. Perfect, nut-sweet flavor, fine, tender texture. Kraft natural Swiss comes sliced and sealed by Kraft, sealed airtight and handy half-pound packages. And it comes without rind so there's never any waste or dried edges. You'll want to keep this delicious natural Swiss cheese on hand for all kinds of sandwiches. Kraft natural Swiss is wonderful with different kinds of crackers too. And for a delightful change some night, serve this good cheese with your favorite fruit for dessert. Tomorrow, get Kraft natural Swiss cheese with heart of the cheese goodness all through for your eating pleasure sliced and sealed by Kraft for your convenience. Let's get back to Mr. Gillespie. He sure was glad when the gentleman versed in Miss Irene Hinshaw turned out to be her father. Bertie could see the change in him. And because it was his girlfriend's father, Mr. Gillespie just couldn't do enough for him. He couldn't thank me enough for the cigars, Bertie. No, sir. Fine old gentleman. He thinks a lot of me too. Oh, I'm sure he does. I don't know who you're trying to impress most. Mr. Hinshaw's daughter. Just being civil. Yes, sir. Is it going to be a civil ceremony or a church wedding? Ha, ha, ha! No, Bertie, you know there's nothing further from my mind than marriage. Oh, yes, sir. And he's not thinking of me as a son-in-law. No, sir. Then you just hand him them dinners and cigars hoping he'll hand you the hand of Miss Hinshaw? Yeah, of course not. We are, Leroy. Hello, my boy. Leroy, what's the matter with you? I need nourishment. Food. Sandwiches. That's enough, Leroy. Look, I've been using my brain at school. All my energy went off the top of my head. Help me to the literature. Leroy, stop clowning. Oh, best boy. I'll get you something, Leroy. Well, I feel better already. Yes, yes. Leroy, you're always eating. Bring me something, too, Bertie. Yeah, school today. Miss Hinshaw? No, her father. He dropped by and I talked to him during recess. No, that's all. I hope you made a good impression on him. Yeah. So did you. Well, I know he likes me. I'll say. He's calling you son already. No, Leroy, he doesn't mean anything by that. Ha! Miss Giffney don't think so, but it won't be long before sun changes to sun in love. That's ridiculous. What are you going to call him, Aunt? Young man. I just explained to Bertie that Irene and I aren't serious about each other. His calling me son doesn't mean a thing. Yes, he explained that. But there's only one thing that's clear. What's that? It won't be long before sun changes to sun in love. Bring me for a minute. Dad Henshaw, I mean Mr. Henshaw, just likes me because, well, because old gentleman spent some time talking to Peevee. Won't hurt to stop in and find out if he had any diabolical ideas such as marriage. Hello, Peevee. Well, hello, son. Oop. What can I do for you today? You can stop calling me son. I suppose that's a privilege reserved for Mr. Henshaw. Peevee, do you really think he wants me to marry his daughter? Well, Mr. Henshaw's of the old school, Mr. Gillespie. He seems to feel that if you're monopolizing his daughter's time, you're under a certain obligation. Oh, if I re-knew he felt that way, she'd laugh. I wonder who's going to have the last laugh. Well, this thing has gone far enough. I'm going up there and set Mr. Henshaw straight. I'd be diplomatic about it, Mr. Gillespie. There's a man with a steel, blue eye, and a septal old school. You told me that, Peevee. I remember it. Of course, I don't want to offend him. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'll just go over there this afternoon and let him see by example that Irene and I have a very platonic relationship. Well, it's an hour and a half. Do you have any other suggestions how I can break the news to him delicately? Let him know I don't want to be his son-in-law? Well, this time you might give him a loaded cigar. What a suggestion. On his way here. Don't you come on home, Father. Don't be silly, Father. Just come home in time for dinner. I may ask Throckmorton to stay. All right, all right. Goodbye, daughter. Goodbye. He's certainly gone on Throckmorton. Well, he's been very nice to Father. I guess I should show my appreciation by being unusually nice to him. Just a minute. Let's see if my face is on straight. Well, he wanted to come by this afternoon. Come in, Throckmorton. Hello, Irene. Is your father home yet? No, no, he just phoned. He won't be home until dinner. Well, perhaps I should come back this evening. Who did you come to see? Me or my father? You. But I want your father to see me when I'm seeing you. Yeah, I mean... That doesn't make any sense, but don't rush your way. We'd like to have you stay for dinner. Yeah, thanks, Irene, but I don't think I should. Of course you should. Here, let me take your hat and coat. Can't I just leave him on a chair here by the door? I'll hang them here in the closet. You're lovely this afternoon. But I'll have to remain aloof, detached, impersonal. Why don't we sit here on the couch by the fire? Yeah, you sit in the couch, Irene. I'll take this straight back chair here. It's all right. Trying to improve your posture? No, no. Well, what do we talk about? I don't know. We've never had trouble finding something to talk about. You know, in the nice day, isn't it? No. It's dreary and looks like snow. You know, somewhere, the sun is shining. Hmm... Well, if we can't find anything to talk about, we might turn on the television set. There's nothing on it this hour, is there? No, but we can turn it on and watch it snow. Why are you acting so strangely, Throckmorton? You mean? Uh-huh. You're out? You had a lot in my mind lately. A little nervous, I guess. Trouble with the water department? No, not at the water department. Well, if we aren't going to talk, I think I'll go play the piano. It is a good idea. Let's have some music. They say it's good therapy for the nerves. Do you have any new music, like doggy in the window? I'm afraid not. I'm afraid not. Most of these are years and years old. I think this is the last song I bought. Well, that's one of my favorites. Or love. No, I didn't know she sang. Simply because you're near me. Don't let me stop you. Go ahead. Is in your eyes. There's the stars. We're up. After that comes Irene. Now that you're your home, father, I've got to go see how the dinner's coming. Fine, daughter. You two can talk. Drachmorton could hardly wait for you to get home. Well, here I am, boy. Son, what do you want to talk to me about? Don't be bashful. Don't be bashful. I thought you'd be speaking to me before I left. Daughter sings well, doesn't she? Yes, indeed. I noticed you were sitting real close so you could hear every word. Yeah. Well, now, Mr. Henshaw. Go ahead and speak your peace. I got here as quick as it could. I came in a taxi, in fact, and the driver had the radio going all about a fellow jiltin' the girl. Oh. Oh, just a sad story. It looked bad for the fellow, too. Scoundrel. What happened to him? Well, we were home before the end of the news, and I wasn't going to ride around the block a 30-cent-cent-mile to find out. I see. But, if I'd been the girl's father, do you know what I'd have done? Don't tell me. Oh, wait. Go ahead. You're going to ask me something. You will. But before you do, let me get a cigar for both of us. We'll be right back, son. Just like P.B. said, he thinks I'm obligated all right. Now, I'll get my hat out of the closet and sneak out. Zeke. He's got a shotgun in the closet. Do you want someplace, son? Yeah, I just remembered. Have to go to the depot. Meeting a train? No, I'm taking one. Make Gildeslee will be with us again in just 30 seconds. When folks drop by for a visit, make them feel welcome with something good to eat. What? Well, how about their favorite beverage and a plate full of crisp crackers and Kraft Natural Swiss cheese? This good cheese with the holes has heart of the cheese goodness in every bite. And for your convenience, Kraft Natural Swiss comes sliced and sealed airtight in half-pound packages. Enjoy this delicious cheese often for a variety of snacks and sandwiches. Get Kraft Natural Swiss cheese tomorrow. Canna, is he? Yes, sir. You going out with him? Oh, Bertie, her father's still here. Yes. Ha, ha! When you find out he wants you for a son-in-law, you must have really scared that one. Well, you know what they say, Bertie. He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day. Yes. Why, goodness, listen to that, boy. A waste of money giving you music lessons. Yeah. You've been studying for years and you can't play a single piece. I can't, so I've been practicing this one. Oh? The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White and is transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Kathy Lewis, Lillian Randolph, Will Wright, Jack Meakin, and Dick Lagrange. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Heaston saying good night for The Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next week and every week for the further adventures of The Great Gildersleeve.