 Chapter number one of Penrod. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Jonathan Birchard, March 2009. Penrod by Booth Tarkington, chapter one, A Boy and His Dog. Penrod sat morosely on the back fence and gazed with envy at Duke, his wistful dog. A bitter soul dominated the various curved and angular surface known by a careless world as the face of Penrod's go-field. Except in solitude, that face was almost always cryptic and emotionless. For Penrod had come into his twelfth year wearing an expression carefully trained to be inscrutable. Since the world was sure to misunderstand everything, mere defensive instinct prompted him to give it as little as possible to lay hold upon. Nothing is more impenetrable than the face of a boy who has learned this, and Penrod's was habitually as fathomless as the depth of his hatred this morning for the literary activities of Mrs. Laura Rubush, an almost universally respected fellow citizen, a lady of charitable and poetic inclinations, and one of his mother's most intimate friends. Mrs. Laura Rubush had written something which she called the children's pageant of the table round, and it was to be performed in public that very afternoon at the Women's Arts in Guildhall for the benefit of the Colored Infants' Betterment Society. And if any flavor of sweetness remained in the nature of Penrod's go-field after the dismal trials of the school week just passed, that problematic infinitesimal remnant was made pungent acid by the imminence of his destiny to form a prominent feature of the spectacle, and to declaim the loathsome sentiments of a character named upon the program the child Sir Lancelot. After each rehearsal, he had plotted escape, and only ten days earlier there had been a glimmer of light. Mrs. Laura Rubush had caught a very bad cold, and it was hoped it might develop into pneumonia, but she recovered so quickly that not even a rehearsal of the children's pageant was postponed. Darkness closed in. Penrod had rather vaguely debated plans for a self-mutilation such as would make his appearance as the child Sir Lancelot inexpedient on public grounds. It was a heroic and attractive thought, but the results of some extremely sketchy, preliminary experiments caused him to abandon it. There was no escape, and at last his hour was hard upon him. Therefore he brooded on the fence and gazed with envy at his wistful duke. The dog's name was indescriptive of his person, which was obviously the result of a singular series of mess alliances. He wore a grizzled mustache and indefinite whiskers. He was small and shabby, and looked like an old postman. Penrod envied duke because he was sure duke would never be compelled to be a child Sir Lancelot. He thought a dog free and unshackled to come and go as the wind listeth. Penrod forgot the life he led duke. There was a long soliloquy upon the fence, a plaintive monologue without words. The boy's thoughts were adjectives, but they were expressed by a running film of pictures in his mind's eye, morbidly prophetic of the idioticities before him. Finally he spoke aloud with such spleen that duke rose from his haunches and lifted one ear in keen anxiety. I height Sir Lancelot du lock, the child, gentle-hearted, meek, and mild. What though I'm but a little child, gentle-hearted, meek, and... All this except the... was a quotation from the child Sir Lancelot as conceived by Mrs. Laura Rubush. Choking upon it, Penrod slid down from the fence and with slow and thoughtful steps entered a one-storied wing of a stable consisting of a single apartment floored with cement and used as a storeroom for broken bric-a-brac, old paint buckets, decayed garden hose, worn-out carpets, dead furniture, and other condemned odds and ends not yet considered hopeless enough to be given away. In one corner stood a large box, a part of the building itself. It was eight feet high and open at the top, and it had been constructed as a sawdust magazine from which was drawn material for the horse's bed and a stall on the other side of the partition. The big box, so high and tower-like, so commodious, so suggestive, had ceased to fulfill its legitimate function, though, providentially, it had been at least half full of sawdust when the horse died. Two years had gone by since that passing. An inter-rhenium in transportation during which Penrod's father was thinking, he explained sometimes, of an automobile. Meanwhile, the gifted and generous sawdust box had served brilliantly in war and peace. It was Penrod's stronghold. There was a partially-to-face sign upon the front wall of the box. The Don John Keep had known mercantile impulses. The OK Rabbit Company, Penrod's Go-Fielding Company, inquire for prices. This was a venture of the preceding vacation and had netted at one time an accrued and owed profit of $1.38. Prospects had been brightest on the very eve of cataclysm. The storeroom was locked and guarded, but 27 rabbits and Belgian hares, old and young, had perished here on a single night, through no human agency, but in a foray of cats. The besiegers treacherously tunneling up through the sawdust from the small aperture which opened into the stall beyond the partition. Commerce has its martyrs. Penrod climbed upon a barrel, stood on tiptoe, grasped the rim of the box, then, using a knot hole as a stirrup, threw one leg over the top, drew himself up, and dropped within. Standing upon the packed sawdust, he was just tall enough to see over the top. Duke had not followed him into the storeroom, but remained near the open doorway in a concave and pessimistic attitude. Penrod felt in a dark corner of the box and laid hands upon a simple apparatus consisting of an old bushel basket with a few yards of clothesline tied to each of his handles. He passed the ends of the lines over a big spool, which revolved upon an axle of wire suspended from a beam overhead, and with the aid of this improvised pulley lowered the empty basket until it came to rest in an upright position upon the floor of the storeroom at the foot of the sawdust box. Elevator! shouted Penrod. Duke, old and intelligently apprehensive, approached slowly in a semi-circular manner, deprecatingly, but with courtesy. He pawed the basket delicately, then, as if that were all his master had expected of him, uttered one bright bark, sat down, and looked up triumphantly. His hypocrisy was shallow. Many a horrible quarter of an hour had taught him his duty in this matter. Elevator! shouted Penrod sternly. You want me to come down there to you? Duke looked suddenly haggard. He pawed the basket feebly again, and upon another outburst up from on high, prostrated himself flat. Again threatened, he gave a superb impersonation of a worm. You get in that elevator! Wreckless with despair, Duke jumped into the basket, landing in a disheveled posture, which he did not alter until he had been drawn up and poured out upon the floor of sawdust with the box. There, shuddering, he lay in doughnut shape and presently slumbered. It was dark in the box, the condition that might have been remedied by sliding back a small wooden panel on runners, which would have lent in ample light from the alley, but Penrod Scofield had more interesting means of illumination. He knelt, and from a former soap box in a corner took a lantern without a chimney, and a large oil can, the leak in the ladder being so nearly imperceptible that its banishment from household use had seemed to Penrod as inexplicable as it was providential. He shook the lantern near his ear. Nothing splashed, and there was no sound but a dry clinking. But there was plenty of kerosene in the can, and he filled the lantern striking a match to illumine the operation. Then he lit the lantern and hung it upon old nail against the wall. The sawdust floor was slightly impregnated with oil, and the open flame quivered in suggestive proximity to the side of the box. However, some rather deep charrings of the plank against which the lantern hung offered evidence that the arrangement was by no means a new one, and it indicated at least a possibility of no fatality occurring this time. Next, Penrod turned up the surface of the sawdust in another corner of the floor and drew for the cigar box in which were half a dozen cigarettes made of hayseed and thick brown wrapping paper, a lead pencil, an eraser, and a small notebook, the cover of which was labeled in his own handwriting. English grammar, Penrod Schofield, Room 6, Ward School, No. 7. The first page of this book was purely academic, but the study of English undefiled terminated with a slight jar at the top of the second. Nor must an adverb be used to modif... Immediately followed, Harold Bramerez, the road agent, or wildlife among the Rocky Mountains, and the subsequent entries in the book appeared to have little concern with Room 6, Ward School, No. 7. End of Chapter 1. Chapter No. 2 of Penrod. This Libra Rocks recording is in the public domain. Recording by Jonathan Burchard, March 2009. Penrod by Booth Tarkington. Chapter 2. Romance. The author of Harold Bramerez, etc., lit one of the hayseed cigarettes, seated himself comfortably with his back against the wall and his right shoulder just under the lantern, elevated his knees to support the notebook, turned to a blank page, and wrote, slowly and earnestly, Chapter 6. He took a knife from his pocket, and broodingly, his eyes upon the emerald embryos of vision sharpened his pencil. After that, he extended a foot and meditatively rubbed Duke's back with the side of his shoe. Creation with Penrod did not leap full-armed from the brain, but finally he began to produce. He wrote very slowly at first, and then with increasing rapidity, faster and faster, gathering momentum and growing more and more fevered as he sped, till at last the true fire came, without which no lamp of real literature may be made to burn. Mr. Wilson reached for his gun, but our hero had him covered, and soon said, well, I guess you don't come any of that on me, my friend. Well, what makes you so sure about it, sneered the other biting his lips so savagely that the blood ran? You are nothing but a common road agent anyway, and I do not propose to be baffled by such. Ramora's laughed at this, and kept Mr. Wilson covered by his automatic. Soon, the two men were struggling together in the death-rose, but soon Mr. Wilson got him bound and gagged in his mouth, and went away for a while, leaving our hero. It was dark, and he writhed at his bonds writhing on the floor while the rats came out of their holes and bit him, and Vernon got all over him from the floor of that hellish spot. But soon he managed to push the gag out of his mouth while the end of his tongue knew, and got all his bonds off. Soon, Mr. Wilson came back to taunt him with his helpless condition, flowed by his gang of detectives, and they said, oh, look at Ramora's sneering at his plight and tanted him with the helpless condition, because Ramora has put the bonds back so he would look the same, but could throw them off when he wanted to just look at him now, sneered they. To hear him talk, you would have thought he was hot stuff, and they said, look at him now, him that was going to do so much, oh, I would not like to be in his fix. Soon, Harold got mad at this, and he jumped up with blazing eyes, throwing off his bonds like they were air, ha-ha, sneered he, I guess you better not talk so much next time. Soon there flowed another awful struggle, and seasoned his automatic back from Mr. Wilson, he shot two of the detectives through the heart. Bing-bing went the automatic, and two more went to meet their maker. Only two detectives left now, and so he stabbed one, and the scoundrel went to meet his makers, for now our hero was fighting for his very life. It was dark in there now, for night had fallen, and a terrible view met the eye, blood was just all over everything, and the rats were eating the dead men. Soon, our hero managed to get his back to the wall, for he was fighting for his very life now, and shot Mr. Wilson through the abode bin. Oh, said Mr. Wilson, you dash, dash, dash. The dashes are pen rods. Mr. Wilson staggered back vile, owes soil in his lips, for he was in pain. Why you dash, dash, you sneered he, I will get you yet, dash, dash, you, Harold Ramirez. The remaining scoundrel had an axe, which he came near our hero's head, but missed him, and remain stuck in the wall. Our hero's ammunition was exhausted, what was he to do? The remaining scoundrel would soon get his axe loose, so our hero sprung forward, and bit him till his teeth met in the flesh, for now our hero was fighting for his very life. At this, the remaining scoundrel also cursed and swore vile oaths. Oh, sneered he, dash, dash, dash, you, Harold Ramirez, what did you bite me for? Yes, sneered Mr. Wilson also, and he has shot me in the abdomen, to the dash, dash. Soon, they were both cursing and reviling him together. Why you dash, dash, dash, dash, sneered they, what did you want to injure us for? Dash you, Harold Ramirez, you have not got any sense, and you think you are so much, but you are no better than anybody else, and you are a dash, dash, dash, dash, dash. Soon, our hero could stand this no longer. If you could learn to act like gentlemen, said he, I would not do any more to you now, and your low vile expressions have not got any effect on me, only to injure your own self, when you go to meet your maker. Oh, I guess you have enough for one day, and I think you have learned a lesson, and will not soon attempt to beard Harold Ramirez again, so with a tantig laugh, he coolly lit a cigarette, and taken the keys of the cell from Mr. Wilson's pocket, went on out. Soon, Mr. Wilson and the wounded detective went off the floor, dash, dash it, I will have that dastid's life now, sneered they, if they have to swing for it, dash, dash, dash, dash him, he shall not escape again, the low-down dash, dash, dash, dash, dash. Chapter 7 A mule train of heavily laden burrows laden with gold from the mines was to be seen wandering from the highest cliffs and gorgas of the rocky mits, dash, dash, dash, dash, and cartridge belt could be heard cursing vile oaths, because he well knew this was the lair of Harold Ramirez. Why, dash, dash, dash you, you dash, dash, dash, dash mules, you sneered he, because the poor mules were not able to go any quicker. Dash you, I will show you why, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash, it sneered he, his oaths growing vile and vile, I will whip you dash, dash, dash, dash, dash, you so's you will not be able to walk weak, dash, dash, you, you mean old, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash, dash mules, you scarcely had the vile words left his lips when pinrod it was his mother's voice calling from the back porch Simultaneously, the noon whistles began to blow far and near and the romancer in the sawdust box summoned prosaically from steep mountain passes above the clouds paused with stubby pencil halfway from lip to knee. His eyes were shining there was a rapt sweetness in his gaze as he wrote, his burden had grown lighter. Thoughts of Mrs. Laura Rubish had almost left him and in particular as he recounted even by the chased dash the annoyed expressions of Mr. Wilson the wounded detective and his silken mustache mule driver he had felt mysteriously relieved concerning the child Sir Lancelot altogether he looked better and brighter boy pinrod the rapt looked faded slowly he sighed but moved not pinrod we're having lunch early just on your account so you'll have plenty of time to be dressed for the pageant hurry there was silence in pinrod's eye read pinrod Mrs. Schofield's voice sounded nearer indicating a threatened approach pinrod be stirred himself he blew out the lantern and shouted plaintively well ain't I coming as fast as I can do hurry return the voice with drawing and the kitchen door could be heard to close languidly pinrod persuaded to set his house in order replacing his manuscript and pencil in the cigar box he carefully buried the box in the sawdust put the lantern and oil can back in the soapbox adjusted the elevator for the reception of Duke at a no uncertain tone invited the devoted animal to enter Duke stretched himself amiably affecting not to hear and when this pretense became so obvious that even a dog to keep it up no longer sat down in a corner facing it his back to his master and his head perpendicular nose upward supported by the convergence of the two walls this, from a dog is the last word the combo of the immutable pinrod commanded stormed tried gentleness persuaded with honeyed words and pictured rewards Duke's eyes looked backwards otherwise he moved not time elapsed pinrod stooped to flattery finally to insincere caresses and then losing patience spouted sudden threats inevitable frozen fast to his great gesture of implacable despair a footstep sounded on the threshold of the storeroom pinrod come down from that box this instant ma'am are you up in that sawdust box again as missus gofield had just heard her son's voice issue from the box and also as she knew he was there anyway her question must have been put for oratorical purposes only because if you are she continued promptly I'm going to ask your papa not to let you play there any pinrod's forehead his eyes the tops of his ears and most of his hair became visible to her at the top of the box I ain't playin' he said in dignity well what are you doing just coming down he replied in a grieve but patient tone then why don't you come I got Duke here I got to get him down haven't I you don't suppose I want to leave a poor dog in here to starve do you well hand him down over the side to me let me I'll get him down alright said pinrod I got him up here and I guess I can get him down will then do it I will if you let me alone if you'll go back to the house I promise to be there inside of two minutes he put extreme urgency into this and his mother turned towards the house if you're not there in two minutes I will be after her departure pinrod expended some funalities of eloquence upon Duke then disgustedly gathered him in his arms and dumped him into the basket and shouted sternly all in for the ground floor step back there madam already Jim lowered dog and basket to the floor of the storeroom Duke sprang out into multuous relief and bestowed frantic affection upon his master as the ladder slid down from the box Penrod dusted himself sketchily experiencing a sense of satisfaction doled by the overhanging afternoon perhaps but perceptible he had the feeling of one who has been true to a cause the operation of the elevator was un-sinful and save for the shock to Duke's nervous system it was harmless but Penrod could not possibly have brought himself to exhibit it in the presence of his mother or any other grown person in the world the reasons for secrecy were undefined at least Penrod did not define them End of Chapter 2 Chapter 3 of Penrod this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jonathan Burchard March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 3 the costume after lunch his mother and his sister Margaret a pretty girl of 19 dressed him for the sacrifice they stood him near his mother's bedroom window and did what they would to him during the earlier anguishes of the process he was mute exceeding the pathos of the stricken calf in the shambles but a student of eyes might have perceived in his soul the premonitory symptoms of a sinister rehearsal in citizens' clothes attended by mothers and grown-up sisters Mrs. Laura Rubush had announced that she wished the costume to be as medieval and artistic as possible otherwise and as to detail she said she would leave the costumes entirely to the good taste of the children's parents Mrs. Schofield and Margaret were no archaeologists but they knew their taste was as good as that of other mothers and sisters concerned so with perfect confidence they had planned and executed a costume for Penrod and the only misgiving they felt was connected with the tractability of the child Sir Lancelot himself stripped to his underwear he had been made to wash himself vehemently then they began by shrouding his legs in a pair of silk stockings once blue but now mostly whitish upon Penrod they visibly surpassed mere ampolness but they were long and it required only a rather loose imagination to assume that they were tights the upper part of his body was next concealed from view by a garment so peculiar that its description becomes difficult in 1886 Mrs. Schofield then unmarried had worn at her coming-out party a dress of vivid salmon silk which had been remodeled after her marriage to accord with various epochs of fashion until a final unskillful campaign at a dye house had left it in a condition certain to attract much attention to the wearer Mrs. Schofield had considered giving it to Della, the cook but had decided not to do so because you could never tell how Della was going to take things and cooks were scarce it may have been the word medieval in Mrs. Laura Rubush's rich phrase which had inspired the idea for her last conspicuous usefulness at all events the bodice of that once salmon dress somewhat modified and moderated now took a position for its fair appearance in society upon the back breast and arms of the child Sir Lancelot the area thus costume ceased at the waist leaving a jager like an unmedieval gap thence to the tops of the stockings the inventive genius of woman triumphantly bridged it but in a manner which imposes upon history almost insuperable delicacies of narration Penrod's father was an old fashion man the 20th century had failed to shake his faith for cold weather and it was while Mrs. Schofield was putting away her husband's winter underwear that she perceived how hopelessly one of the elder specimens had dwindled and simultaneously she received the inspiration which resulted in a pair of trunks for the child Sir Lancelot and added an earnest bit of color as well as a genuine touch of the middle ages to his costume reversed four to aft with the greater part of the legs cut off and strips of silver braid covering the seams the garment she felt was not traceable to its original source when it had been placed upon Penrod the stockings were attached to it by a system of safety pins not very perceptible at a distance next after being severely warned against stooping Penrod got his feet into the slippers which he wore to dancing school patent leather pumps now decorated with large pink rosettes if I can't stoop he began smolderingly I'd like to know how I'm gonna kneel badge, you must manage this uttered through pins was evidently thought to be sufficient they fastened some ruching about his slender neck pin ribbons at random all over him and then Margaret thickly powdered his hair oh yes that's all right she said replying to a question put by her mother they always powdered their hair in colonial times it doesn't seem right to me exactly objected missus gofield gently sir Lancelot must have been ever so long before colonial times that doesn't matter Margaret reassured her nobody'll know the difference mrs. Laura Rubish least of all I don't think she knows a thing about it though of course she does write splendidly and the words of the pageant are just beautiful stand still Penrod the author of Harold Ramirez had moved convulsively besides powdered hairs always becoming look at him you'd hardly know it was Penrod the pride and admiration with which she pronounced this undeniable truth might have been thought tactless but Penrod not analytical found his spirit somewhat elevated no mirror was in his range of vision and though he had submitted to cursory measurements of his person a week earlier he had no previous acquaintance with his costume he began to form a not unpleasing mental picture of his appearance something somewhere between the portraits of George Washington and a vivid memory of Miss Julia Marlowe at a matinee of twelfth night he was additionally cheered by a sword which had been borrowed from a neighbor who was a knight of pithius finally there was a mantle an old golf cape of Margaret's fluffy polka dots of white cotton had been sewed to it generously also it was ornamented with a large cross of red flannel suggested by a picture of a crusader in a newspaper advertisement the mantle was fastened to Penrod's shoulder that is to the shoulder of Mrs. Schofield's ex-botus by means of large safety pins and a range to hang down behind him touching his heels but obscuring know-wise the glory of his facade then at last he was allowed to step before a mirror it was a full length glass and the worst immediately happened it might have been a little less violent perhaps if Penrod's expectations had not been so richly and poetically idealized but as things were re-volt was volcanic Victor Hugo's account of the fight with the devil fish in Toilers of the Sea encourages a belief that had Hugo lived and increased in power he might have been equal to a proper recital of the half hour which followed Penrod's first side of himself as the child Sir Lancelot but Mr. Wilson himself dastard but elegant foe of Harold Ramirez could not have expressed with all the vile dashes at his command the sentiments which animated Penrod's bosom when the instantaneous and unalterable conviction descended upon him that he was intended by his loved ones to make a public spectacle of himself in his sister's stockings and part of an old dress of his mother's to him these familiar things were not disguised at all there seemed no possibility that the whole world would not know them at a glance the stockings were worse than the bodice he had been assured that these could not be recognized but seeing them in the mirror the human eye could fail at first glance to detect the difference between himself and the former purpose of these stockings fold, wrinkle, and void shriek their history with a hundred tongues invoking earthquake, eclipse, and blue ruin the frantic youth's final submission was obtained only after a painful telephonic conversation between himself and his father the latter having been called up and upon by the exhausted Mrs. Gofield to subjugate his offspring by wire the two ladies made all possible haste after this to deliver Penrod into the hands of Mrs. Laura Rubush nevertheless they found opportunity to exchange earnest congratulations upon his not having recognized the humble but serviceable paternal garment now brilliant about the Lancelot-ish middle altogether they felt that the costume was a success Penrod looked like nothing ever remotely imagined by Sir Thomas Mallory or Alfred Tennyson for that matter he looked like nothing ever before seen on earth Mrs. Gofield and Margaret took their places in the audience at the women's arts in Guildhall the anxiety they felt concerning Penrod's elocutionary and gesticular powers so soon to be put to public test was pleasantly tempered by their satisfaction that owing to their efforts his outward appearance would be a credit to the family End of Chapter 3 Chapter 4 of Penrod This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For information or to volunteer visit www.librivox.org Read by Jonathan Burchard March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 4 Desperation The child Sir Lancelot found himself in a large ante-room behind the stage a room crowded with excited children all about equally medieval and artistic Penrod was less conspicuous than he thought himself but he was so preoccupied with his own shame stealing his nerves to meet the first inevitable taunting reference to his sister's stockings that he failed to perceive there were others present in much of his own unmanned condition Retiring to a corner immediately upon his entrance he managed to unfast the mantle at his shoulders and drawing it around him pinned it again at his throat so that it concealed the rest of his costume This permitted a temporary relief but increased his horror of the moment when in pursuance of the action of the pageant the sheltering garment must be cast aside Some of the other child knights were also keeping their mantles close about them A few of the envied opulence swung brilliant fabrics from their shoulders airily showing off hired splinters from a professional costumer's stock while one or two were insulting examples of parental indulgence particular little Maurice Levy the child Sir Gala had This shrinking person went clamorously about making it known everywhere that the best tailor in town had been dazzled by a great sum into constructing his costume It consisted of blue velvet knickerbockers a white satin waistcoat and a beautifully cut little swallow-tailed coat with pearl buttons The medieval and artistic triumph was completed by a mantle of yellow velvet and little white boots sporting gold tassels All this radiance paused in a brilliant career and addressed the child Sir Lancelot gathering an immediately formed semi-circular audience of little girls Woman was ever the trailer of magnificence What you got on inquired Mr. Levy after dispensing information What you got on under that old golf cape Penrod looked upon him coldly At other times his questioner would have approached him with deference even with apprehension but today the child Sir Gala had was somewhat intoxicated with the power of his own beauty What you got on he repeated Ah, nothing said Penrod with an indifference assumed at great cost to his nervous system The elate Morris was inspired to set up as a wit Then you're naked He shouted exultantly Penrod Scofield says he hasn't got nothing on under that old golf cape He's naked, he's naked The indelicate little girls giggled delightedly and a javelin pierced the inwards of Penrod when he saw that the child Elaine amber-curled and beautiful marjorie-jones lifted golden laughter to the horrid jest Other boys and girls came flocking to the uproar He's naked, he's naked shrieked the child Sir Gala head Penrod Scofield's naked, he's naked Hush, hush said Mrs. Laura Rubush pushing her way into the group Remember we are all little knights and ladies today Little knights and ladies of the table round would not make so much noise Now children, we must begin to take our places on the stage Is everybody here? Penrod made his escape under cover of this diversion He slid behind Mrs. Laura Rubush and, being near a door, opened it unnoticed and went out quickly, closing it behind him He found himself in a narrow and vacant hallway which led to a door marked janitor's room Burning with outrage, heart-sick at the sweet cold-blooded laughter of marjorie-jones Penrod rested his elbows upon a windowsill and speculated upon the effects of a leap from the second story One of the reasons he gave it up was his desire to live on Maurice Levy's account Already he was forming educational plans for the child Sir Gala had A stout man in blue coveralls passed through the hallway muttering to himself petulantly I reckon they'll find that hall hot enough now he said, conveying to Penrod an impression that some two feminine women had sent him an air into the furnace He went into the janitor's room and, emerging a moment later, minus the overalls passed Penrod again with a base rumble Darn him, it seemed, he said and made a gloomily exit by the door at the upper end of the hallway The conglomerate and delicate rustle of a large, manorly audience was heard as the janitor opened and closed the door and stage fright seized the boy The orchestra began an overture At that moment Penrod, trembling violently tiptoed down the hall into the janitor's room It was a cul-de-sac There was no outlet saved by the way he had come Despairingly he doffed his mantle and looked down upon himself for a last sickening assurance that the stockings were as obviously and disgracefully Margaret's as they had seemed in the mirror at home For a moment he was encouraged Perhaps he was no worse than some of the other boys Then he noticed that a safety pin had opened One of those connecting the stockings with his trunks He sat down to fasten it and his eye fell for the first time with particular attention upon the trunks Until this instant he had been preoccupied with the stockings Slowly, recognition dawned in his eyes The Schofield's house stood on a corner at the intersection of two main traveled streets The fence was low and the publicity obtained The washable portion of the family apparel on Mondays had often been painful to Penrod For boys have a particular sensitiveness in these matters A plain matter-of-fact washerwoman employed by Mrs. Schofield never left anything to the imagination of the passers-by and of all her calm display the scarlet flaunting of his father's winter wear had most abashed Penrod One day Marjorie Jones, all gold and starch had passed when the dreadful things were on the line Penrod had hidden himself shuddering The whole town he was convinced knew these garments intimately and derisively And now, as he sat in the janitor's chair the horrible and paralyzing recognition came He had not an instant's doubt that every fellow actor as well as every soul in the audience would recognize what his mother and sister had put upon him For as the awful truth became plain to himself it seemed blazing to the world and far, far louder than the stockings of the monks did fairly bellow the grisly secret Whose they were and what they were Most people have suffered in a dream the experience of finding themselves very inadequately clad in the midst of a crowd of well-dressed people and such dreamer's sensations are comparable to Penrod's though faintly because Penrod was awake and in much too full possession of the most active capacities for anguish A human male whose dress has been damaged or revealed some vital lack suffers from a hideous and shameful loneliness which makes every second absolutely unbearable until he is again as others of his sex and species and there is no act or sin whatever too desperate for him in his struggle to attain that condition Also, there is absolutely no embarrassment possible to a woman which is comparable to that of a man under corresponding circumstances and in this a boy is a man Gazing upon the ghastly trunks the stricken Penrod felt that he was a degree worse than nude and a great horror of himself filled his soul Penrod Scofield! the door into the hallway opened and a voice demanded him he could not be seen from the hallway but the hue and cry was up and he knew he must be taken it was only a question of seconds he huddled in his chair Penrod Scofield! cried Mrs. Laura Rubush angrily the distracted boy rose and as he did so a long pin sank deep into his back he extracted it frenziedly which brought to his ears a protracted and sonorous ripping too easily located by a final gesture of horror Penrod Scofield! Mrs. Laura Rubush had come out into the hallway and now in this extremity when all seemed lost indeed particularly including on her the dilating eye of the outlaw fell upon the blue overalls which the janitor had left hanging on a peg inspiration and action were almost simultaneous End of Chapter 5 of Penrod by Booth Tarkington read by Jonathan Burchard, March 2009 Chapter 5 of Penrod This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for information or to volunteer visit www.librivox.org read by Jonathan Burchard, March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 5 The Pageant of the Table Round Penrod! Mrs. Laura Rubush stood in the doorway indignantly gazing upon a child Sir Lancelot mantled to the heels Do you know that you have kept an audience of 500 people waiting for ten minutes? She also detained the 500 while she spake further Well, said Penrod contentedly as he followed her toward the buzzing stage I was just sitting there thinking Two minutes later the curtain rose on a medieval castle hall richly done in the new stage craft made in Germany and consisting of pink and blue cheesecloth The child King Arthur and the child Queen Guinevere were disclosed upon thrones with the Child Elaine and many other celebrities in attendance While about 15 child knights were seated at a dining room table round which was covered with a large oriental rug and displayed for the night's refreshment a banquet service of silver loving cups and trophies borrowed from the country club and some local automobile manufacturers In addition to this splendor potted plants and palms have seldom been more lavishly used in any castle on the stage or off The footlights were aided by a spotlight from the rear of the hall and the children were revealed in a blaze of glory A hushed, multitudinous awe of an admiration came from the decorous and delighted audience Then the children sang feebly Children of the table round little knights and ladies wait Let our voices all resound, faith and hope and charity The child King Arthur rose extending his scepter with the decisive gesture of a semaphore and spake Each little knight and lady-born has noble deeds to perform In the child world of chivalry no matter how small his share may be let each advance and tell and turn what claim has each to knighthood earned The child Sir Mordred, the villain of this piece rose in his place at the table round and piped the only lines ever written by Mrs. Laura Rubish which Penrod Schofield could have pronounced without loathing Georgie Basset, a really angelic boy, had been selected for the role of Mordred His perfect conduct had earned for him the sardonic sobriquet the little gentleman among his boy acquaintances Naturally he had no friends Hence the other boy supposed that he had been selected for the wicked Mordred as a reward of virtue He declaimed serenely I hite Sir Mordred the child and I teach lessons of selfishest evil and reached out into darkness thoughtless, unkind and ruthless his Mordred and unrefined The child Sir Mordred was properly rebuked and denied the accolade though, like the others he seemed to have assumed the title already He made a plotter's exit whereupon Maurice Levy rose bowed an ounce that he hided the child Sir Gallo had and continued with perfect sang froid I am the purest of the pure I have but kindest thoughts each day I give my riches to the poor and follow in the master's way This elicited tokens of approval from the child King Arthur and he bade Maurice stand forth and come near the throne a commando bade with the easy grace of conscious merit It was Penrod's turn He stepped back from his chair the table between him and the audience and began in a high breathless monotone I hite Sir Lancelot the child gentle-hearted meek and mild when though I am but a little child gentle-hearted meek and mild I do my share though but though but Penrod paused and gulped The voice of Mrs. Laura Rubish was heard from the wings prompting irritably and the child Sir Lancelot repeated I do my share though though but a tot I pray unite Sir Lancelot This also met the royal favour and Penrod was bitten to join Sir Gallo had at the throne As he crossed the stage Mrs. Schofield whispered to Margaret that boy he's unpinned his mantle and fixed it to cover his whole costume after we worked so hard to make it be coming Never mind he'll have to take the cape off in a minute return Margaret She leaned forward suddenly narrowing her eyes to see better What is that thing hanging about his left ankle she whispered uneasily How queer He must have got tangled in something Where? Asked Mrs. Schofield in alarm His left foot It makes him stumble, don't you see It looks like an elephant's foot The child Sir Lancelot and the child Sir Gallo had clasped hands before their child king Penrod was conscious of a great uplift In a moment he would have to throw aside his mantle But even so he was protected and sheltered in the human garment of a man His stage fright had passed for the audience was but an indistinguishable blur of darkness beyond the dazzling lights His most repulsive speech that in which he proclaimed himself a taut was over and done with and now at last the small moist hand of the child Sir Gallo had lay within his own Craftily his brown fingers stole from Maurice's palm to the wrist The two boys declined in concert We are two children of the table round Steering kindness all around With love and good deeds striving for the best May our little efforts air be blessed To the little hearts we offer See united love, faith, hope, and chair Ow! The conclusion of the duet was marred The child Sir Gallo had suddenly stiffened and uttering an irrepressible shriek of anguish gave a brief exhibition of the contortionist's art He's twisted my wrist, darn you, Lego! The voice of Mrs. Laura Rubush was again heard from the wings It sounded bloodthirsty Penrod released his victim and the child King Arthur, somewhat disconcerted extended his scepter and with the assistance of the urn rage prompter said Sweet child friends of the table round In brotherly love and kindness abound Sir Lancelot, you have spoken well Sir Gallo had too as clear as bell So now doft your mantles gay And you shall be knighted this very day And Penrod doft his mantle Simultaneously a thick and vasty gasp came from the audience as from 500 bathers in a wholly unexpected surf The gasp was punctuated irregularly over the auditorium by imperfectly subdued screams both of dismay and incredulous joy and by two dismal shrieks Altogether it was an extraordinary sound a sound never to be forgotten by anyone who heard it It was almost as unforgettable as the sight which caused it the word sight being here used in its vernacular sense for Penrod standing unmantled and revealed in all the medieval and artistic glory of the janitor's blue overalls falls within its meaning The janitor was a heavy man and his overalls upon Penrod were merely oceanic The boy was at once swaddled and lost within their blue gulfs and vast saggings and the left leg too hastily rolled up had descended with a distinctively elephantine effect as Margaret had observed Certainly the child Sir Lancelot was at least a sight It is probable that a great many in that hall must have had even then a consciousness that they were looking on at history in the making A supreme act is recognizable at sight It bears the birthmark of immortality but Penrod, that marvelous boy, had begun to declaim even with the gesture of flinging off his mantle for the accolade I first, the child Sir Lancelot du Lac will volunteer to knighthood take and kneeling here before your throne I vowed to he finished his speech unheard The audience had recovered breath but had lost self-control and there ensued something later described by a participant as a sort of cultured riot The actors in the pageant were not so dumbfounded by Penrod's costume as might have been expected A few precocious geniuses perceived that the overalls were the child's Lancelot's own comment on maternal intentions and these were profoundly impressed They regarded him with the grisly admiration of young and ambitious criminals for a jailmate about to be distinguished by hanging But most of the children simply took it to be the case a little strange but not startling that Penrod's mother had dressed him like that which is pathetic They tried to go on with the pageant They made a brief, manful effort But the irrepressible outbursts from the audience bewildered them Every time Sir Lancelot du Lac the child opened his mouth The great shadowy house fell into an uproar and the children into confusion Strong women and brave girls in the audience went out into the lobby, shrieking and clinging to one another Others remained, rocking in their seats helpless and spent The neighborhood of Mrs. Schofield and Margaret became tactfully a desert Friends of the author went behind the scenes and encountered a hitherto unknown phase They said afterward that she hardly seemed to know what she was doing She begged to be left alone somewhere with Penrod Schofield just for a little while They led her away End of Chapter 5 of Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 6 Chapter 7 of Penrod This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For information or to volunteer visit www.librivox.org Read by Jonathan Burchard March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 6 Evening The sun was setting behind the back fence though at a considerable distance as Penrod Schofield approached that fence and looked thoughtfully up at the top of it Apparently having in mind some purpose to climb up and sit there Debating this, he passed his fingers gently up and down the backs of his legs and then something seemed to decide him not to sit anywhere He leaned against the fence sighed profoundly and gazed at Duke his wistful dog The sigh was reminiscent Episodes of simple pathos were passing before his inward eye About the most painful was the vision of lovely Marjorie Jones weeping with rage as the child Sir Lancelot was dragged in satiate from the prostrate and howling Child Sir Gallahad after an onslaught delivered the precise instant the curtain began to fall upon the demoralized pageant and then, oh pangs, oh woman she slapped at the ruffian's cheek as he was led past her by a resentful janitor and turning flung her arms around the Child Sir Gallahad's neck Penrod, Scofield, don't you dare ever speak to me again as long as you live Maurice's little white boots and gold tassels had done their work At home the late Child Sir Lancelot was consigned to a locked clothes closet penning the arrival of his father Mr. Scofield came and shortly thereafter there was put into practice an old patriarchal custom it is a custom of inconceivable antiquity probably primordial certainly prehistoric but still in vogue in some remaining citizens of the ancient simplicities of the Republic and now therefore in the dusk Penrod leaned against the fence and sighed his case is comparable to that of an adult who could have survived a similar experience looking back to the sawdust box fancy pictures this comparable adult a serious and inventive writer engaged in congenial literary activities in a private retreat we see this period marked by the creation of some of the most viral passages of a work dealing exclusively in red corpuscles and huge primal impulses we see this thoughtful man dragged from his calm seclusion to a horrifying publicity forced to adapt the stage and himself a writer compelled to exploit repulsive sentiments of an author not only personally distasteful to him but whose whole method and school in Bell's letters he despises we see him reduced by desperation and modesty to stealing a pair of overalls we conceive him to have ruined then his own reputation and to have utterly disgraced his family next to have engaged in the duelo and to have been spurned by his lady love thus lost to him according to her own declaration forever finally we must behold imprisoned by the authorities the third degree and flagellation we conceive our man decided that his career has been perhaps too eventful yet Penrod had condensed all of it into eight hours it appears that he had at least some shadowy perception of a recent fullness of life for as he leaned against the fence gazing upon his wistful duke he sighed again and murmured aloud well, hasn't this been a day? but in a little while a star came out freshly lighted from the highest part of the sky and Penrod, looking up, noticed it casually and a little drowsily he yawned then he sighed once more but not reminiscently evening had come the day was over it was a sigh of pure ennui CHAPTER VII EVILS OF DRINK next day Penrod acquired a dime by a simple and antique process which was without doubt sometimes practiced by the boys of Babylon when the teacher of his class in Sunday School requested their weekly contribution Penrod, fumbling honestly at first in the wrong pockets, managed to look so embarrassed that the gentle lady told him not to mind and said she was often forgetful in herself she was so sweet about it that looking into the future, Penrod began to feel confident of a small but regular income at the close of the afternoon services he did not go home proceeded to squander the funds just withheld from China upon an orgy of the most pungently forbidden description in a drug emporium near the church he purchased a five cent sack of candy resisting for the most part of the heavily-flavored hoofs of horn cattle but undeniably substantial and so generously capable of resisting solution that the purchaser must need a voracious beyond reason who did not realize his money's worth equipped with this collation Penrod contributed his remaining nickel to a picture show countenanced upon the seventh day by the legal but not the moral authorities here, in cozy darkness he placidly insulted his liver with jawbreaker upon jawbreaker from the paper sack and in a surfeit of content watched the silent actors on the screen one film made a lasting impression upon him it depicted with relentless pathos the drunkard's progress beginning with his conversion to beer in the company of loose traveling men pursuing him through an inexplicable lapse into evening clothes in the society of some remarkably painful ladies which next exhibiting the effects of alcohol on the victim's domestic disposition the unfortunate man was seen in the act of striking his wife and subsequently his pleading baby daughter with an abnormally heavy walking stick their flight through the snow to seek the protection of a relative was shown and finally the drunkard's picturesque behavior at the portals of a madhouse so fascinated was Penrod that he postponed his departure until this film came round again by which time he had finished his unnatural repast and almost but not quite decided against following the profession of a drunkard when he grew up emerging satiated from the theater a public timepiece before a jeweler's shop confronted him with an unexpected dial and imminent perplexities how was he to explain at home three hours of dalliance there was a steadfast rule that he returned direct from Sunday school and Sunday rules were important because on that day there was his father always at home and at hand perilously ready for action one of the hardest conditions of boyhood is the almost continuous strain put upon the powers of invention by the constant and harassing necessity for explanations of every natural act proceeding homeward through the deepening twilight as rapidly as possible at a gate half skip and half canter Penrod made up his mind in what manner he would account for his long delay and as he drew nearer rehearsed in words the opening passage of his defense now see here he determined to begin I did not wish to be blamed for things I couldn't help nor any other boy I was going along the street by a cottage and a lady put her head out of the window and said her husband was drunk and whipping her little girl and she asked me wouldn't I come in and help hold him so I went in and tried to get hold of this drunken lady's husband where he was whipping their baby daughter but he wouldn't pay attention and I told her I ought to be getting home but she kept on asking me to stay at this point he reached the corner of his own yard where a coincidence not only checked the rehearsal of his eloquence but halffully obviated the occasion for it a cab from the station drew up in front of the gate and there descended a troubled lady in black and a fragile little girl about three Mrs. Schofield rushed from the house and unfolded both in hospitable arms they were Penrod's aunt Clara and cousin also Clara from Dayton Illinois and in the flurry of their arrival everybody forgot to put Penrod to the question it is doubtful however if he felt any relief there may have been even a slight unconscious disappointment not all together dissimilar to that of an actor deprived of a good part in the course of some really necessary preparations for dinner he stepped from the bathroom into the pink and white bed chamber of his sister and addressed her rather thickly through a towel when did mama find out aunt Clara and cousin Clara were coming not till she saw them from the window she just happened to look out as they drove up aunt Clara telegraphed this morning but it wasn't delivered how long they going to stay I don't know Penrod ceased to rub his shining face and thoughtfully tossed the towel through the bathroom door Uncle John won't try to make him come home I guess Willie Uncle John was aunt Clara's husband a successful manufacturer of stoves and his lifelong regret was that he had not entered the Baptist ministry he'll let him stay here quietly won't he what are you talking about demanded Margaret turning from her mirror Uncle John sent them here why shouldn't he let them stay Penrod looked crestfallen then he hasn't taken to drink certainly not she emphasized the denial with a pretty peel of soprano laughter then why asked her brother gloomily did Aunt Clara look so worried when she got here good gracious don't people worry about anything except somebody's drinking where did you get such an idea well he persisted you don't know it ain't that she laughed again wholeheartedly poor Uncle John he won't even allow grape juice or ginger ale in his house they came because they were afraid little Clara might catch the measles she's very delicate and there's such anemic of measles among the children over in Dayton the schools had to be closed Uncle John got so worried that last night he dreamed about it and this morning he couldn't stand it any longer and packed them off over here though he thinks it's wicked to travel on Sunday and Aunt Clara was worried when she got here because they'd forgotten to check her trunk and it will have to be sent by express now what in the name of the common sense put into your head that Uncle John had taken to oh nothing he turned lifelessly away and went downstairs a newborn hope dying in his bosom life seems so needlessly dull sometimes end of chapter 7 chapter number 8 of Penrod this liberal box recording is in the public domain Penrod by Booth Tarkington chapter number 8 school next morning when he had once more resumed the dreadful burden of education it seemed infinitely duller and yet what pleasanter side is there than a schoolroom well filled with children of those sprouting years just before the teens the casual visitor gazing from the teacher's platform upon those busy little heads needs only a blunted memory to experience the most agreeable and exhilarating sensations still for the greater part the children were unconscious of the sweetness of their condition for nothing is more pathetically true than that we never know when we are well off the boys in a public school are less aware of their happy state than are the girls and of all the boys in his room probably Penrod himself had the least appreciation of his felicity he sat staring at an open page of a textbook but not studying not even reading not even thinking as he lost in a reverie his mind's eye was shut as his physical eye might have been for the optic nerve flaccid with ennui conveyed nothing whatever of the printed page upon which the orb of vision was partially focused Penrod was doing something very unusual and rare something almost never accomplished except by colored people or by a boy in school on a spring day he was doing really nothing at all he was merely a state of being from the street a sound stole in through the open window an abhorring nature began to fill the vacuum called Penrod's cofield for the sound was the spring song of a mouth organ coming down the sidewalk the windows were intentionally above the level of the eyes of the seated pupils but the picture of the musician was plain to Penrod painted for him by equality in the runs and trills partaking of the oboe of the calliope and of cats in anguish an excruciating sweetness obtained only by the walloping yellow pink palm of a hand whose back was Congo black and shiny the music came down the street and passed beneath the window accompanied by the carefree shuffling of a pair of old shoes scuffing syncopations on the cement sidewalk it passed into the distance became faint and blurred was gone emotions stirred in Penrod a great and poignant desire but perhaps fortunately no fairy godmother made her appearance otherwise Penrod would have gone down the street in a black skin playing the mouth organ and an unprepared colored youth would have found himself enjoying educational advantages for which he had no ambition whatever roused from perfect apathy the boy cast about the school room and I wearied to nausea by the perpetual vision of the neat teacher upon the platform the backs of the heads of the pupils in front of him and the monotonous stretches of blackboard threateningly defaced by erythmetical formulae and other insignia of torture above the blackboard the walls of the high room were of white plaster white with the qualified whiteness of old snow in a soft coal town the dismal expanse was broken by four lithographic portraits votive offering of a thoughtful publisher the portraits were of good and great men kind men, men who love children their faces were noble and benevolent but the lithographs offered the only rest for the eyes of children fatigued by the everlasting sameness of the school room long day after long day interminable weekend and interminable week out vast month on vast month the pupils sat with those four portraits beaming kindness down upon them the faces became permanent in the consciousness of the children they became an obsession in and out of school the children were never free of them the four faces haunted the minds of children falling asleep they hung upon the minds of children waking at night they rose forebodingly in the minds of children waking in the morning they became monstrously alive in the minds of children lying sick of fever never, while the children of that school room lived would they be able to forget one detail of the lithographs the hand of longfellow was fixed for them forever in his beard and by a simple and unconscious association of ideas Penrodsko Field was accumulating an antipathy for the gentle longfellow and for James Russell Lowell and for Oliver Wendell Holmes and for John Greenleaf Woodier which would never permit him to peruse a work of one of those great New Englanders without a feeling of personal resentment his eyes fell slowly from the brow of Woodier to the braid of reddish hair belonging to Victorine Rudin the little octaroon girl who sat directly in front of him Victorine's back was as familiar to Penrod as the necktie of Oliver Wendell Holmes so was her gaily colored plaid waist he hated the waist as he hated Victorine himself without knowing why enforced companionship in large quantities and on an equal basis between the sexes to sterilize the affections and schoolroom romances are few Victorine's hair was thick and the brickish glints in it were beautiful but Penrod was very tired of it a tiny knot of green ribbon finished off the braid and kept it from unraveling and beneath the ribbon there was a final wisp of hair which was just long enough to repose upon Penrod's desk when Victorine leaned back in her seat it was there now thoughtfully he took the braid between thumb and forefinger and without disturbing Victorine dipped the end of it and the green ribbon into the inkwell of his desk he brought hair and ribbon forth dripping purple ink and partially dried them on a blotter though a moment later when Victorine leaned forward they were still able to add a few picturesque touches to the plaid waist Rudolph Krause across the aisle from Penrod watched the operation with protuberant eyes inspired but to imitation he took a piece of chalk from his pocket and wrote rats across the shoulder blades of the boy in front of him then looked across appealingly to Penrod for tokens of congratulation Penrod yawned it may not be denied that at times he appeared a very self-centered boy End of Chapter 8 Chapter 9 of Penrod this Liberavox recordings in the public domain recorded by Jonathan Burchard March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 9 Soaring half the members of the class passed out to a recitation room the imperpled Victorine among them and Miss Spence started the remaining ordeal of trial by mathematics several boys and girls were sent to the blackboard and Penrod, spared for the moment followed their operations a little while with his eyes but not with his mind then sinking deeper in his seat limply abandoned the effort his eyes remained open but saw nothing the routine of the arithmetic lesson reached his ears in familiar meaningless sounds but he heard nothing and was profoundly occupied he had drifted away from the painful land of facts and floated now in a new sea of fancy which he had just discovered maturity forgets the marvellous realness of a boy's daydreams how colorful they glow rosy in living and how opaque the curtain closing down between the dreamer and the actual world that curtain is almost sound-proof too and causes more throat trouble among parents than is suspected the nervous monotony of the schoolroom inspires a sometimes unbearable longing for something astonishing to happen and as every boy's fundamental desire is to do something astonishing himself so as to be the center of all human interest in awe, it was natural that Penrod should discover in fancy the delightful secret of self-levitation he found in this curious series of imaginings during the lesson in arithmetic that the atmosphere may be navigated as by a swimmer under water but with infinitely greater ease and with perfect comfort in breathing in his mind he extended his arms gracefully at a level with his shoulders and delicately paddled the air with his hands which at once caused him to be drawn up out of his seat and elevated gently to a position about midway between the floor and ceiling where he came to an equilibrium and floated a sensation not the less exquisite because of the screams of his fellow pupils appalled by the miracle Miss Spence herself was amazed and frightened but he only smiled down carelessly upon her when she commanded him to return to earth and then when she climbed upon a desk to pull him down he quietly paddled himself a little higher leaving his toes just out of her reach next he swam through a few slow summer salts to show his mastery of the new art and with the shouting of the dumbfounded scholars ringing in his ears turned on his side and floated swiftly out the window immediately rising above the housetops while people in the street below him shriek and a trolley car stopped dead in wonder with almost no exertion he paddled himself many yards at a stroke to the girls private school where Marjorie Jones was a pupil Marjorie Jones of the Amber Curls and the Golden Voice long before the pageant of the table round she had offered Penrod 100 proofs that she considered him wholly undesirable and ineligible at the Friday afternoon dancing class she consistently incited and led the laughter at him whenever Professor Bartet singled him out for admonition in matters of feet and decorum and but yesterday she had chid him for his slavish lack of memory and in daring to offer her a greeting on the way to Sunday school well I suspect you must forget I told you never to speak to me again if I was a boy I'd be too proud to come hanging around people that don't speak to me even if I was the worst boy in town so she flouted him but now as he floated in through the window of her classroom and swung gently along the ceiling like an escaped toy balloon she fell upon her knees beside her little desk and lifting up her arms toward him cried with love and admiration oh Penrod he negligently kicked a globe from the high chandelier and smiling coldly floated out through the hall to the front steps of the school while Marjorie followed imploring him to grant her one kind look in the street an enormous crowd had gathered headed by misspence and a brass band and a cheer from a hundred thousand throats shook the very ground as Penrod swam overhead Marjorie knelt upon the steps and watched adoringly while Penrod took the drum major's baton and performing sinuous evolutions above the crowd led the band then he threw the baton so high but he went swiftly after it a double delight for he had not only the delicious sensation of rocketing safely up and up into the blue sky but also that of standing in the crowd below watching and admiring himself as he dwindled to a speck disappeared and then emerging from a cloud came speeding down with the baton in his hand to the level of the treetops where he beat time for the band and the vast throng and Marjorie Jones who all united in the star-spangled banner in honor of his aerial achievements it was a great moment it was a great moment but something seemed to threaten it the face of Miss Spence looking up from the crowd grew too vivid unpleasantly vivid she was beckoning him and shouting come down, Penrod Scofield down here he could hear her above the band and the singing of the multitude she seemed intent on spoiling everything Marjorie Jones was weeping to show how sorry she was that she had formerly slighted him and throwing kisses to prove that she loved him but Miss Spence kept jumping between him and Marjorie incessantly calling his name he grew more and more irritated with her he was the most important person in the world and was engaged in proving it to Marjorie Jones and the whole city and yet Miss Spence seemed to feel she still had the right to order him about as she did in the old days Marjorie's school boy he was furious he was sure she wanted him to do something disagreeable it seemed to him that she had screamed thousands of times from the beginning of his aerial experiments in his own school room he had not opened his lips knowing somehow that one of the requirements of air floating is perfect silence on the part of the floater but finally irritated beyond measure by Miss Spence's clamorous insistence to restrain in a dignite rebuke and immediately came to earth with a frightful bump Miss Spence in the flesh had directed toward the physical body of the absent penron inquiry as to the fractional consequences of dividing seventeen apples fairly among three boys and she was surprised and displeased to receive no answer although to the best of her knowledge and belief he was looking fixedly at her she repeated her question crisply without visible effect then summoned him by name with an increasing asperity twice she called him while all his fellow pupils turned to stare at the gazing boy she advanced a step from the platform Penrod Scofield oh my goodness he shouted suddenly can't you keep still a minute End of Chapter 9 Chapter 10 of Penrod this LibriVox recording is in the public domain recording by Jonathan Berchard March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 10 Uncle John Miss Spence gasped so did the pupils the whole room filled with a swelling conglomerate ohhhh as for Penrod himself the walls reeled with the shock he sat with his mouth open a mere lump of stupefaction for the appalling words that he had hurled at the teacher were as inexplicable to him as to any other who heard them nothing is more treacherous than the human mind nothing else so loves to play the Ascariot even when patiently bullied into a semblance of order and training it may prove but a base and shifty servant and Penrod's mind was not his servant it was a master with the April winds whims and it had just played him a diabolical trick the very jolt with which he came back to the school room in the midst of his fancied flight jarred his daydream utterly out of him and he sat open mouthed in horror at what he had said the unanimous gasp of awe was protracted Miss Spence however finally recovered her breath and returning deliberately to the platform faced the school and then for a little while as pathetic stories sometimes recount everyone was very still it was so still in fact that Penrod's newborn notoriety could almost be heard growing this grisly silence was at last broken by the teacher Penrod's cofield stand up the miserable child obeyed what did you mean by speaking to me in that way he hung his head raked the floor with the side of his shoe swayed swallowed, looked suddenly at his hands with the air of never having seen them before then clasped them behind him the school shivered in ecstatic horror every fascinated eye upon him yet there was not a soul in the room but was profoundly grateful to him for the sensation including the offended teacher herself unhappily all this gratitude was unconscious and altogether different from the kind which results in testimonials and loving cups on the contrary Penrod's cofield he gulped answer me at once why did you speak to me like that I was he choked unable to continue speak out I was just thinking he managed to stammer that will not do she returned sharply I wish to know immediately why you spoke as you did the stricken penrod answered helplessly because I was just thinking upon the very rack he could have offered no ample truthful explanation it was all he knew about it thinking what just thinking Miss Spence's expression of evidence that her power of self-restraint was undergoing a remarkable test however after taking counsel with herself she commanded come here he shuffled forward and she placed a chair upon the platform near her own sit there then but not at all as if nothing had happened she continued the lesson in arithmetic spiritually the children may have learned a lesson in the direction to indeed as they gazed at the fragment of sin before them on the stool of penitence they all stared at him attentively with hard and passionately interested eyes in which there was never one trace of pity it cannot be said with precision that he writhed his movement was more a slow, continuous squirm effected with a ghastly assumption of languid indifference while his gaze in the effort to escape the marble-hearted glare of his schoolmates affixed itself with apparent permanence the face-coast button of James Russell Lowell just above the you in Russell classes came and classes went grilling him with eyes newcomers received the story of the crime in Darkling Whispers and the outcast sat and sat and sat and squirmed and squirmed and squirmed he did one or two things with his spine which a professional contortionist would have observed with real interest and all this while of freezing suspense was but the criminal's detention awaiting trial a known punishment may be anticipated with some measure of equanimity at least the prisoner may prepare himself to undergo it but the unknown looms more monstrous for every attempt to guess it Penrod's crime was unique there were no rules to aid him in estimating the vengeance to fall upon him for it what seemed most probable was that he would be expelled from the schools in the presence of his family the mayor, the council whipped by his father upon the state house step with the entire city as audience by invitation of the authorities noon came the rows of children filed out every head turning for a last unpleasingly speculative look at the outlaw then miss Spence closed the door into the cloakroom and that into the big hall and came and sat at her desk near Penrod the tramping of feet outside the shrill calls and shouting the changing voices of the older boys ceased to be heard and there was silence Penrod, still affecting to be occupied with Lowell was conscious that Miss Spence looked at him intently Penrod, she said gravely what excuse have you to offer before I report your case to the principal the word principal struck him to the vitals Grand Inquisitor, Grand Khan Sultan, Emperor, Tsar Caesar Augustus, these are comparable he stopped squirming instantly and sat rigid I want an answer why did you shout those words at me well he murmured I was just thinking thinking what she asked sharply I don't know that won't do he took his left ankle in his right hand and regarded it helplessly that won't do Penrod's go field she repeated severely if that is all the excuse you have to offer I shall report your case this instant and she rose with fatal intent but Penrod was one of those whom the precipice inspires well I have got an excuse well she paused impatiently what is it he had not an idea but he felt one coming replied automatically in a plaintive tone I guess nobody that had been through what I had to go through last night would think they had an excuse Miss Spence resumed her seat though with the air of being ready to leap from it instantly what has last night to do with your insolence to me this morning well I guess you'd see he returned emphasizing the plaintive note if you knew what I know now Penrod she said voice I have a high regard for your mother and father and it would hurt me to distress them but you must either tell me what's the matter you or I'll have to take you to Mrs. Houston well ain't I going to he cried spurred by the dread name it's because I didn't sleep last night were you ill the question was put with some dryness he felt the dryness no I wasn't then if someone in your family was so ill that even you were kept up all night what does it happen they let you to come to school this morning it wasn't illness he returned shaking his head mournfully it was not worse than anybody's being sick it was it was well it was just awful what was he remarked with anxiety the incredulity in her tone it was about Aunt Clara he said your Aunt Clara she repeated do you mean your mother's sister who married Mr. Ferry of Dayton Illinois yes, Uncle John returned penrod sorrowfully the trouble was about him Miss Spence frowned a frown which he rightly interpreted as one of continued suspicion she and I were in school together she said I used to know her very well and I've always heard her married life was entirely happy when when Uncle John took to running with traveling men what yes him he nodded solemnly that was what started it at first he was a good kind husband but these traveling men would coax him into a saloon on his way home from work and they got him to drinking beer and then ales wines liquors and cigars pinrod ma'am I'm not inquiring into your Aunt Clara's private affairs I'm asking you if you have anything to say which would be great that's what I'm trying to tell you about Miss Spence he pleaded if you just only let me when Aunt Clara and her little baby daughter got to our house last night you say Mrs. Ferry is visiting your mother yes I'm not just visiting you see she had to come well of course little baby Clara she was so bruised up and mauled where he'd been hitting her with his cane you mean that your uncle had done such a thing as that exclaimed Miss Spence suddenly disarmed by this scandal yes him and mama and Margaret had to sit up all night nursing little Clara and Aunt Clara was in such a state somebody had to keep talking to her and there wasn't anybody but me to do it so I but where was your father ma'am where was your father while oh papa pinrod paused reflected then brightened why he was down at the train and to see if Uncle John would try to follow him and make him come home so he could persecute him some more I wanted to do that but they said if he did come I might and be strong enough to hold him and the brave lad paused again modestly Miss Spence's expression was encouraging her eyes were wide with astonishment and there may have been in them also the mingled beginnings of admiration and self reproach pinrod warming to his work felt safer every moment so he continued I had to sit up with Aunt Clara she had some pretty big bruises too and I had to but why didn't they send for a doctor however this question was only a flicker of dying incredulity oh they didn't want any doctor exclaimed the inspired realist promptly they don't want anybody to hear about it and because Uncle John might reform and then where'd he be if everybody knew he'd been a drunkard and whipped his wife and baby daughter oh said Miss Spence you see he used to be upright as anybody he went on explanatively it all began began pinrod yesum it all commenced from the first day he let those traveling men coax him into a saloon pinrod narrated the downfall of his Uncle John at length in detail he was nothing short of plethoric an incident followed incident sketched with such vividness and such very similitude to a drunkard's life as a drunkard's life should be that had Miss Spence possessed the rather chilling attributes of William J Burns himself the last trace of skepticism might have vanished from her mind besides there were two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever and one of them is that he has taken to drink and in every sense it was a moving picture which with simple but elegant words the virtuous pinrod sat before his teacher his eloquence increased with what it fed on and as with the eloquence so with self-reproach in the gentle bosom of the teacher she cleared her throat with difficulty once or twice during his description of his ministering night with Aunt Clara and I said to her why Aunt Clara what's the use of taking on so about it and I said now Aunt Clara all the crying in the world can't make things any better and then she just keep catch and hold of me and sob and kind of holler and I'd say don't cry Aunt Clara please don't cry then under the influence of some fragmentary survivals of the respectable portion of his Sunday adventures his theme became more exalted and only partially misquoting a phrase from a psalm he related how he had made it of comfort to Aunt Clara and how he had re sought her to seek higher guidance in her trouble the surprising thing about a structure such as penrod was erecting is that the tolerant becomes the more ornamentation it will stand gifted boys have this faculty of building magnificence upon cobwebs and penrod was gifted under the spell of his really great performance miss bentz gays more and more sweetly upon the prodigy of spiritual beauty and goodness before her until at last when penrod came to the explanation of his just thinking she was forced to turn her head away you mean dear she said gently that you were all worn out and hardly knew what you were saying yes I'm and you were thinking about all those dreadful things so hard that you forgot where you were I was thinking he said simply how to save uncle John and the end of it for this mighty boy was that the teacher kissed him end of chapter 10 chapter 11 of penrod this libra vox recording is in the public domain recording by jonathan birchard march 2009 penrod by booth tarkington chapter 11 fidelity of a little dog the returning students that afternoon observed that penrod's desk was vacant and nothing could have been more impressive than that sinister mere emptiness the accepted theory was that penrod had been arrested how breathtaking then the sensation when at the beginning of the second hour he strolled in with inimitable carelessness and rubbing his eyes somewhat noticeably in the manner of one who has snatched an hour of much needed sleep took his place as if nothing in particular had happened this at first supposed to be a superhuman exhibition of sheer audacity became but the more dumbfounding when miss spence looking out from her desk greeted him with a pleasant little nod even after school penrod gave numerous maddened investigators no relief all he would consent to say was oh, I just talked to her a mystification not entirely unconnected with the one thus produced was manifest as at his own family dinner table the following evening aunt Clara had been out rather late and came to the table after the rest receded she wore a puzzled expression do you ever see Mary Spence nowadays she inquired as she unfolded her napkin addressing missus gofield penrod abruptly set down his soup spoon and gave his aunt with flattering attention yes, sometimes said missus gofield she's penrod's teacher is she, said mrs. fairy do you she paused do people think her a little queer these days why no, returned her sister what makes you say that she has acquired a very odd manner said mrs. fairy decidedly at least she seemed odd to me I met her at the corner just before I got to the house a few minutes ago and after we'd said howdy-do to each other I called her my hand and looked as though she was going to cry she seemed to be trying to say something and choking but I don't think that's so very queer, Clara she knew you in school, didn't she yes, but and she hadn't seen you for so many years I think it's perfectly natural she wait she stood there squeezing my hand and struggling to get her voice and I got really embarrassed suddenly she said in a kind of tearful whisper be of good cheer this trial will pass how queer exclaimed Margaret pennrod sighed and returned somewhat absently to his soup well, I don't know, said mrs. gofield thoughtfully of course she's heard about the outbreak of measles and datant since they had to close the schools and she knows you live there but doesn't it seem a very exaggerated way, suggested Margaret to talk about measles wait, big datant, Clara after she said that she said something even queerer then put her handkerchief to her eyes and hurried away pennrod laid down his spoon again and moved his chair slightly back from the table a spirit of prophecy was upon him he knew that someone was going to ask a question which he felt might better remain unspoken what was the other thing she said? mrs. gofield inquired thus immediately fulfilling her son's premonition she said returned mrs. fairy slowly looking about the table she said I know that pennrod is a great great comfort to you there was a general exclamation of surprise it was a singular thing and in no manner may it be considered a complimentary to pennrod that this speech of miss pence should have been immediately confirmed mrs. fairy's doubts about her in the minds of all his family mrs. gofield shook his head pityingly I'm afraid she's a goner he went so far as to say of all the weird ideas cried Margaret I've never heard anything like it in my life mrs. gofield exclaimed was that all she said? every word pennrod again resumed attention to his soup his mother looked at him curiously and then struck by a sudden thought gathered the glances of the adults of the table by a significant movement of the head and by another conveyed an admonition to drop the subject until later miss pence was pennrod's teacher it was better for many reasons not to discuss the subject of her queerness before him this was mrs. gofield's thought at the time later she had another and it kept her awake the next afternoon mrs. gofield returning at five o'clock from the cares of the day found the house deserted and sat down to read his evening paper in what appeared to be an uninhabited apartment known to its world as the drawing room a sneeze unexpected both to him and the owner informed him of the presence of another person where are you pennrod the parent asked looking about here pennrod said meekly stooping mrs. gofield discovered his son squatting under the piano near an open window his wistful duke lying beside him what are you doing there me why under the piano well the boy returned with grave sweetness I was just kind of sitting here thinking alright mrs. gofield rather touched returned to the digestion of a murder his back once more to the piano and pennrod silently drew from beneath his jacket where he had slipped it simultaneously with the sneeze a paper-backed volume entitled slimsy the sue city squealer or not guilty your honor in this manner the reading club continued in peace absorbed contented the world well forgot until a sudden violently irritated slam bang of the front door startled the members and mrs. gofield burst into the room and threw herself into a chair moaning what's the matter mama asked her husband laying aside his paper Henry Pazlos gofield returned the lady I don't know what is to be done with that boy I do not you mean pennrod who else could I mean she sat up exasperated to stare at him Henry Pazlos gofield you've got to take this manner in your hands it's beyond me well what has he last night I got to thinking she began rapidly about what Clara told us thank heaven she and Margaret and little Clara have gone to tea at cousin charlotte's but they'll be home soon about what she said about miss fence you mean about pennrod's being a comfort yes and I kept thinking and thinking and thinking about it till I couldn't stand it any by George shouted mr. gofield startinglingly stooping to look under the piano a statement that he had suddenly remembered his son's presence would be lacking in accuracy for the highly sensitized pennrod was in fact no longer present no more was Duke his faithful dog what's the matter nothing he returned striding to the open window and looking out go on oh she moaned it must be kept from Clara and I'll never hold up my head again if John fairy ever hears of it hears of what well I just couldn't stand it I got so curious and I thought of course if miss suspense had become a little unbalanced it was my duty to know it as pennrod's mother and she his teacher so I thought I would just call on her at her apartment after school and have a chat and see what I and I did and oh well I've just come from there and she told me she told me oh I've never known anything like this what did she tell you missus gofield making a great effort managed to assume a temporary appearance of calm Henry she said solemnly bear this in mind whatever you do to pennrod it must be done in some place when Clara won't hear it but the first thing to do is to find him within view of the window from which Mr. Schofield was gazing was the closed door of the store room in the stable and just outside this thick door Duke was performing a most engaging trick his young master had taught Duke to sit up and beg when he wanted anything and if that didn't get it to speak Duke was facing the closed door and sitting up and begging and now he also spoke in a loud clear bark there was an open transom over the door and from this descended by an unseen agency a can half filled with old paint it caught the small procedure of the door on his thoroughly surprised right ear encouraged him to some remarkable acrobatics and turned large portions of him a dull blue allowing only a moment to perplexity and deciding after a single and evidently unapetizing experiment not to cleanse himself of paint the loyal animal resumed his quaint upright posture Mr. Schofield seated himself on the windowsill whence he could keep in view that pathetic picture of unrequited love go on with your story mama he said I think I can find Penrod when we want him and a few minutes later he added and I think I know the place to do it in again the faithful voice of Duke was heard pleading outside the bolted door End of Chapter 11 Chapter 12 of Penrod this Libervox recording is in the public domain read by Jonathan Burchard March 2009 Penrod by Booth Tarkington Chapter 12 Miss Rensdale accepts one two three one two three glide said Professor Barté emphasizing his instructions by a brisk collision of his palms at glide one two three one two three glide the school week was over at last but Penrod's troubles were not round and round the ballroom with the 17 struggling little couples of the Friday afternoon dancing class round and round with their reflections with them swimming rhythmically in the polished dark floor white and blue and pink for the girls black with dabs of white for the white collared white gloved boys sparks and slivers of highlight everywhere as the glistening pumps flickered along the surface with flying fish every small pink face with one exception was painstaking and set for duty it was a conscientious little merry-go-round one two three one two three glide one two three one two three glide Mr. Penrod Scofield you lose the step your left foot no no this is the left see like me now again one two three one two three glide better much better again one two three one stop Mr. Penrod Scofield this dancing class is provided by the kind parents of the pupils as much to learn the manners of good societies as to dance you think you should ever see a gentleman in good societies to tickle his partner in the dance till she say ouch never I assure you it is not done again now then piano please one two three one two three glide Mr. Penrod Scofield your right foot your right foot no no stop the merry-go-round came to a standstill Mr. Penrod Scofield and partner Professor Barté wiped his brow will you kindly observe me one two three glide so now that no you will please keep your place ladies and gentlemen Mr. Penrod Scofield I would particularly like your attention this is for you picking on me again murmured the smoldering Penrod to his small unsympathetic partner can't let me alone a minute Mr. Georgie Bassett please step to the center said the professor Mr. Bassett complied with modest alacrity teachers pet he had nothing but contempt for Georgie Bassett the parents, guardians, aunts uncles, cousins, governesses housemaids, cooks, chauffeurs and coachmen, appertaining to the members of the dancing class, all dwelt in the same part of town and shared certain communal theories and among the most firmly established was that which maintained Georgie Bassett to be the best boy in town contrary wise the unfortunate Penrod as of his recent dazzling but disastrous attempts to control forces far beyond him had been given a clear title as the worst boy in town population 135,000 to precisely what degree his reputation was the product of his own energies cannot be calculated it was Marjorie Jones who first applied the description in its definite simplicity the day after the pageant and possibly her frequent and effusive repetitions of it even upon wholly irrelevant occasions had something to do with its prompt and quite perfect acceptance by the community Miss Rensdale will please do me the favor to be Mr. Georgie Bassett's partner for one moment said Professor Barte Mr. Penrod Scofield will please give his attention Miss Rensdale and Mr. Bassett oblige me now if you please others please watch piano please now then Miss Rensdale aged 8 the youngest lady in the class and Mr. Georgie Bassett 1-2-3 glided with consummate technique for the better education of Penrod Scofield it is possible that Amber Curle beautiful Marjorie felt that she rather than Miss Rensdale might have been selected as the example of perfection or perhaps her remark was only woman stopping everything for that boy said Marjorie Penrod across the circle from her heard distinctly may he was obviously intended to hear but over a scorched heart he preserved a stoic front whereupon Marjorie whispered derisively in the ear of her partner Maurice Levy who wore a pearl pin in his tie again please everybody ladies and gentlemen Mr. Penrod Scofield if you please pay particularly attention piano please now then the lesson proceeded at the close of the hour Professor Bartet stepped to the center of the room and clapped his hands for attention ladies and gentlemen if you please to seat yourself quietly he said I speak to you now about tomorrow as you all know Mr. Penrod Scofield I am not sticking up in a tree outside that window if you do me the favor to examine I am here insides of the room now then piano please no I do not wish the piano this is the last session of the season until next October tomorrow is our special afternoon beginning three o'clock we dance the coutillon but this afternoon comes the test of manners you must see if each know how to make a little formal call like a grown up people in good societies you have had good perfect instruction let us see if we know how to perform like societies ladies and gentlemen 26 years of age now when you are dismissed each lady will go to her home and prepare to receive a call the gentleman will allow the ladies time to reach their houses and to prepare to receive callers then each gentleman will call upon a lady and beg the pleasure to engage her for a partner in these coutillon tomorrow you all know the correct proper form for these calls because didn't I work teaching you last lesson till I thought I would drop dead yes now each gentlemen if you reach a ladies house then he must go somewhere else to a ladies house and keep calling until he secure as a partner so as there are the same number of both everybody shall have a partner now please remember all that in case Mr. Penrod Scofield when you make your call on a lady I beg you to please remember that gentlemen in good societies do not scratch the back in societies as you appear to attempt so please allow the hands to rest carelessly in the lap now please all remember that if in case Mr. Penrod Scofield if you please gentlemen in societies do not scratch the back by causing frictions between it and the back of your chair either nobody else is itching here I do not itch I cannot talk if you must itch in the name of heaven why must you always itch what was I saying? the coutillon yes for the coutillon it is important nobody shall fail to be here tomorrow but if anyone should be so very ill he cannot possible come he must write a very polite note of regrets in the form of good societies to his engaged partner to excuse himself and he must give the reason I do not think anybody is going to be that sick tomorrow no and I will find out and report to parents if anybody would try it and not be but it is important for the coutillon that we have an even number of so many couples and if it should happen that someone comes and her partner has sent her a polite note that he has genuine reasons why he cannot come the note must be handed at once to me so that I arrange some other partner is all understood yes the gentleman will remember now to allow the ladies plenty of time to reach their houses and prepare to receive calls ladies and gentlemen I thank you for your polite attention it was nine blocks to the house of Marjorie Jones but Penrod did it in less than seven minutes from a flying start such was his haste to lay himself in his hand for the coutillon at the feet of one who had so recently spoken unamiably of him in public he had not yet learned that the only safe male rebuke to a scornful female is to stay away from her especially if that is what she desires however he did not wish to rebuke her simply in ardently he wished to dance the coutillon with her resentment was swallowed up in hope the fact that Miss Jones feeling for him bore a striking resemblance to that of Simon Legree for Uncle Tom deterred him not at all naturally he was not wholly unconscious that when he should lay his hand for the coutillon at her feet it would be her inward desire to step on it but he believed that if he were first in the field Marjorie would have to accept these things are governed by law it was his fond intention to reach your house even in advance of herself and with grave misgiving he beheld a large automobile at rest before the sainted gate forthwith a sinking feeling became a portent inside him as little Marise Levy emerged from the front door of the house low pen rod said Marise early what you doing in there inquired Penrod in where? in Marjorie's well what shouldn't I be doing in Marjorie's Mr. Levy returned indignantly I was inviting her for my partner in the coutillon what you suppose you haven't got any right to Penrod protested hotly you can't do it yet I did do it yet said Marise you can't insisted Penrod you got to allow them time first he said the ladies had to be allowed time to prepare well ain't she had time to prepare when Penrod demanded standing close to his rival threateningly I'd like to know when when? echoed the other with the shrill triumph when? why? in Mama's 60 horsepower limousine automobile what Marjorie came home with me in I guess that's when an impulse in the direction of violence became visible upon the countenance of Penrod I expect you need some wiping down he began dangerously I'll give you something to remit oh you will Marise cried with the astonish link truculance contorting himself into what may have been considered a posture of defense let's see you try it you you itcher for the moment defiance from such a source was dumbfounding then luckily Penrod recollected something in glance at the automobile perceiving therein not only the alert chauffeur but the magnificent outlines of Mrs. Levy his enemy's mother he maneuvered his lifted hand so that it seemed that he meant but to scratch his ear well I guess I better be going he said casually see you tomorrow Marise mounted to the lap of luxury Penrod stole away with an assumption of careless ease which was put to a severe strain when from the rear window of the bar a sudden protuberance in the nature of a small dark curly head shriek scornfully go on you big stiff the cattillon loomed dismally before Penrod now but it was his duty to secure a partner and he said about it with a dreary heart the delay occasioned by his fruitless attempt on Marjorie and the altercation with his enemy at her gate had allowed other ladies ample time to prepare for collars and to receive them sadly he went from house to house finding that he had been preceded in one after the other all together his hand for the cattillon was declined eleven times that afternoon on the legitimate grounds of previous engagement this with Marjorie scored off all except five of the seventeen possible partners and four of the five were also sealed away from him as he learned in chance encounters with other boys upon the street one lady alone remained he bowed to the inevitable and entered this Lauren Damsel's gate at twilight with an air of great discouragement the Lauren Damsel was Miss Rensdale aged eight we are apt to forget that there are actually times of life when too much youth is a handicap Miss Rensdale was beautiful she danced like a premier she had every charm but age on the count alone had she been allowed so much time to prepare to receive collars that it was only by the most manful effort she could keep her lip from trembling a decorus maid conducted the long belated applicant to her where she sat upon a sofa beside a nursery governess the decorus maid announced him composedly as he made his entrance Mr. Penrod Scoofield Miss Rensdale suddenly burst into loud sobs oh she wailed i just knew it would be him the decorus maid's composure vanished at once likewise her decorum she clapped her hand over her mouth and fled uttering sounds the governess however set herself to comfort her heart broken charge and presently succeeded in restoring Miss Rensdale to a semblance of that poise with which a lady receives collars and accepts invitations to dance cattillons but she continued to sob at intervals feeling himself at perhaps a disadvantage Penrod made offer of his hand for the morrow with a little embarrassment following the form prescribed by Professor Barthe he advanced several paces toward the stricken lady and bound formally i hope he said by rote you're well and your parents also in good health may i have the pleasure of dancing the cattillon as your partner tomorrow afternoon the wet eyes of Miss Rensdale searched his countenance without pleasure and a shutter rung her small shoulders but the governess whispered to her instructively and she made a great effort i say thank you for for your polite invitation and i act thus far she progressed when emotion overcame her again she beat frantically upon the sofa with fists and heels oh i didn't want it to be Georgie Bassett no no no said the governess and whispered urgently whereupon Miss Rensdale was able to complete her acceptance and i accept with pleasure she moaned and immediately uttering a loud yell flung herself face downward upon the sofa clutching her governess convulsively somewhat disconcerted penrod bowed again i thank you for your polite acceptance he murmured hurriedly and i trust i trust i forget oh yes i trust we shall have a most enjoyable occasion pray present my compliments to your parents and i must now wish you a very good afternoon concluding these courtly demonstrations with another bow he withdrew in fair order though thrown into partial confusion in the hall by a final wail from his crushed hostess oh why couldn't it be anybody but here end of chapter 12