 Hey, what's up guys Drew here that anxiety guy comms Saturday morning the Hat Brigade But my friend Billy mad Hatter's that's why I'm mad Hatter's I decided to like infringe on your luck today with the hat Yeah, I'm works. All right trying to get used to the idea, but We'll see you have to send me a cease and desist letter at some point. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah That's it We're all hot got our hot beverages to rock and roll today what you drinking Drew I am drinking decaf coffee. I hope it is. I hope it is decaf. It's decaf It's it's so I'm gonna I'm gonna win people over here camomile and honey tea Yeah, man, that's not too bad, it's not It's a good start Yeah, new year new me Man So, yeah, I can't I can't do camomile. That's just vile It tastes like flowers, right? That's what I think it's not that I've eaten flowers. Yeah, I just do it I can't I just have some camomile tea, but I'm people swear by it. So this one's okay with a bit of honey in It's got like it's coming on honey Recommended to mask it with sugar. That's all. Yes. Yes I feel good All right, so what do you want to talk about today? We're sort of winging this a little bit, but yeah, well, we have no concept no preconceived ideas today. It's just we don't we're taking comments like from the group here. Yeah. Yeah Kind of go through them. I go through them a little bit. What was we gonna talk about? We did say that was gonna come up with a plan coming with how to make plan Yeah, I think that's gonna be the overriding thing But before we get into that like I'm looking at my screen up here. So this is ridiculous I thought you were just gazing off into this. I'm just gazing over the space. No looking at my screen So I'm actually like this makeshift thing happening here. That's just we are when he says we're winging it We are really winging it Like I left my mic in the office. No, I'm just like making it up. So We'll go through a couple things and then we'll we'll kind of focus on like what a good plan looks like Good plan because I think that's super important. Oh Heather our friend Heather Wright in Oregon She like she has a lot of good things here symptoms that should be checked and dealt with versus symptoms of anxiety And how to judge those logically what in the mix of panic slash anxiety? Okay? That's about a million. That's like a million dollar question I mean the answer to the symptom question is always going to be the same But we'll blow through those next but How do you know what's anxiety and how do you know what's not anxiety? It's about well for me. It would be like it's experience like if I had this thing 50,000 times Yes, that was kind of something that I used to think about with my videos So I'd mention all the symptoms that I was feeling at a time so I could then go back look at it Think oh, I had that they got over it. Obviously Yeah, I don't know You know whether people could keep a journal or something like that or make their own videos Like you used to make loads of videos and not actually put them online, didn't you? Just for your own reference just to watch it back so I could say like oh, I was Like that's the time or this happened. Yeah, because we said before like this How many times can you have the dizzy feeling until you realize that it ain't dangerous? Right and so experience makes all the difference. So how did the answer like what symptoms should you actually check medically? I think in the beginning when people are just first starting on this you check every symptom like I think that's just normal. It's not a bad thing. You're brand new to this You've never had panic attacks before so you run to the doctor and just get everything checked That's gonna say I was gonna say like let's not check on Google Let's if we're gonna check stuff. Let's go and see a professional That's pretty smart because I think in the end I mean realizing that when you get into a panic state, you're not thinking rationally in any way So like Google is a bad you can't interpret what you read clearly in any way It's always worst case scenario on Google man Yeah, so checking it like with the professional is probably good idea So in the beginning when you're brand new to all this Then you've just started experiencing panic and anxiety. It's totally normal to like physically check every symptom I think that's just how to be Yeah, and then as experience just starts to show you like well, this is this is a thing or Some of the crazier let's say crazier. That's not right But more unusual things up here people talked about like Julian was talking about heartburn the other day Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I mean especially after eating pickled onions at 2 a.m That's a problem. Yeah Who knew I'm not a doctor, but I just say in a holiday in this I was um I was on playstation and it was like getting late and I just decided to eat some salt vinegar crisps in a pickled onion At like 2 a.m And I was in a party on the playstation and they were all saying like that's gonna give you heartburn And I was like, ah, no, don't worry about it And I was still lying there at 4 a.m Like I should have listened. This is bad. Yeah. Yeah Salt and vinegar. Yeah. Yeah, and and the pickled onions. You're hardcore There's only one way to live it's 2019 man. Well, thank you to grow home. That's true. Yeah, yeah Yeah, julie was mentioning heartburn and like yeah, I guess he that he has acid reflux and some people do Yeah, so I would say like your anxiety might make it worse because stomach issues are normal with anxiety But like if you have acid reflux then take whatever I used to have Renny's and Renny's are the things over here like We have toms or stuff like that perpato Yeah, I can see someone outside I'm prepared this week for any knocks at the door Oh nice Awesome I got these because I've got a heavy bag Like we're going heavy baggy off topic. Yeah. Oh, I love my heavy bag. Yeah. I've got a hang it still It's still in the kitchen just leaning up against the door But every now and again, I'll go in and beat the living daylights out of it. I see Well, you know, you have it. That's half the battle. That's a start. Yeah, you got to ease into these things Yeah, yeah, you can't brush It can't rush So let's talk about how to associate so many ideas until until we asked Um tips on sleeping better Elizabeth. Welcome to the group Elizabeth. By the way, she's new Okay, I am the wrong I have a new to ask about sleep. So the last four nights for some reason I just cannot sleep I'm I'm like checking the clock every hour and I'm noticing until like 6 a.m. And then I'll fall asleep till like 10 And the school run starts on Monday So and I've got to go up at seven and I'm dreading it. I'm still going to be awake That's what I'm thinking from the night before Yeah, yeah, it's weird. I don't know whether because over Christmas and that I was staying up till like three four a.m On playstation just pissing about and it it's caught up with me now What can you do? Well, that's what happens done at like holiday week when you lose track of what day it is Nobody even knows what day it is. It's crazy between Christmas and New Year I've been thinking since they broke up I've been thinking they go back on the 10th because when I check the calendar Like I check the thing and it said the school holidays end on the 7th Which means they they go back on the 7th But I interpreted that as they finish I mean like the holidays end on the 7th being a Friday. I was looking at December on the calendar So December the 7th was a Friday and I was thinking they go back on the 10th because that's the Monday I forgot to turn the calendar over Nice. Good job. So yeah You know, yeah three three less sleeps I've got like people count down the sleep still Christmas. I count down the sleep still the school run I think so the answer to like a couple of people said sleep. Elizabeth said sleep Somebody else mentioned sleep morning anxiety and night waking Jolyne Insomnia Daphne to this about that like probably the two worst guys talking about sleep just yeah Yeah, well, I mean the the tips are the same for anybody like don't use your your devices in bed If you can right leave your phone downstairs if you have to don't a lot of people watch tv to go to sleep Like that's something I can't do like read a book have some hot milk or cocoa, whatever There's a ton of like sleep hygiene tips. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Make sure your room's the right temperature dark enough dark I think part of it too with the sleeping and the insomnia stuff is just like Yeah, I almost have to expect it to happen. So like when you're and when you're at your worst I know for me like sleep was Not a thing. It was broken. It was Sporadic. It was whenever I could get it. I would wake up You know fall asleep at two and wake up at four and not be able to go back to sleep and just lay there like day and So it's it's like almost like anything else like you need sleep But if you just accept that like your sleep might be a little messed up right now That's best. I think I used to like years ago. I used to get really angry I'd get narky if I couldn't sleep Like and that that would make it even worse. But now I just I kind of like oh well Like I'm just I'm still just gonna lie here and just eventually I'll drift off if I need to sleep Then my body's gonna sleep. That's the way I could do that Yeah, that's true. Like you're sleeping. You have to sleep. That's true. Yeah Not not sleep. I mean so in the insomnia this I don't have any good tips on that Unfortunately, just try and go with the flow as best as possible get to sleep where you where you can get it Don't force it. Don't be angry about it. Like don't read anymore into it One thing that I that I do know is about myself like if I don't get a good sleep Then it sort of sabotages the next day before it's even started If I go to bed if I go to bed at like or if I fall asleep at 2 3 a.m And I know I've got to get up in the morning then I it's already I know it's going to be a bad day Where it might not necessarily have been a bad day if I hadn't have had this Preconceived idea in my head that I haven't had enough sleep. I'm gonna feel like crap. It's gonna be a bad day So try not try not to do that. Yeah. Yeah, because that's why I do Yeah, that's what I was saying like don't force to don't be angry about it like you were saying and you know what For a while for me. I had to realize like especially here in the in the us We talk about it all the time like the us is just sleep deprived like our population is just we just don't sleep So like everybody around me is sleep deprived like but they're just not freaking out over it. So part animals That's what you are part. Yeah, it's just 24 7. Just just fine. We don't even know what to do ourselves That's the problem. So just it is what it is do the best you can just don't let it make you crazy Like if you're not sleeping don't add more to it, you know, then it is Yeah, you know, um, just because you've got anxiety is likely not the reason or you're not the only people People with anxiety are not the only people that struggle with sleep Nobody gets in a freaking sleep. It's exactly right. It's it's it's not specific to anxiety That was probably exacerbating it, but it's not it's not necessarily an anxiety thing So let's talk about sleeping beauty as well, man turned out okay for her Right and in the end rip van Winkle, you know same thing. Yeah Rip van Winkle. Are you guys don't have that? That's an American probably an American fable or whatever. I didn't remember the thing He fell asleep under a tree or something like that for like years. I don't know One of one of the most feel like I'll do that Yeah, maybe under a tree. So let's talk about um, Laura a friend Laura What does accepting look like versus white knuckling and talking to something out of it? I I feel like I answered this question Every day A little bit like what does it look like? Tell me again what it looks like to accept like It's a whole topic by itself. I've made full entire ranting videos about it. Yes. Yes What is accepting look like talking yourself through it? Quickly like super quickly for me. It means I just read the Laura wrote here It's just let letting go of the fight completely no more fight You could totally and utterly give up and let the very worst Fing thing that you could think just let it happen to you So if think you're going to collapse then go ahead and collapse if you think you're going to die then I dare you go ahead and die if you think you're going to go crazy go ahead and go crazy No more fight give up the fight. Just let it do whatever it's going to do And do exactly the opposite of what you want to do which is stop thinking stop arguing with yourself Stop trying to calm yourself down. Just relax your body put your brain in neutral and let the worst possible thing happen That is what That's what it is. I can't I don't know any other way to describe it. That's it. No, that's perfect Yeah, I don't how it feels like to you, but I think there's there's two things that I Consciously do when I feel myself getting anxious like I'm thinking of when I've been for walks and stuff like I drop my shoulders I make a real conscious effort to drop my shot and slow down That's because like speed for me like walking quicker to get back to the car or get out of the store That feels more frantic. Yeah. Yeah, and it makes you it just escalates that feeling So just slow the fuck down drop your shoulders and just whatever Yeah, let every bit of tension out of your body slow it down Back to your breath and just let that thing just scream in your face as loud as it wants to and just whatever Like that's the best way to describe it and yes, I will follow up with that I know you're gonna say Laura whoever's reading that. So watching is gonna say but that's so hard. Yes. It's fucking hard Do it anyway. It's horrible. Yeah, it's like you say you always say it's it go in against everything that your brain and body wants to do Right do the opposite do the opposite, but that's how you learn your way out of this So short answer to a big question. Um, let's go hon Gemma how to deal with failed resolutions I don't know. She's serious with that. Don't make any don't make any. I never make resolutions. I never ever make You need what's what's different January 1st? I don't understand exactly No, I don't I gave up that a long time ago. I've got nothing else to give up I gave up alcohol coffee weed What else do you want from me hats? Yes, that's it give up on That's your last advice hats Gemma, I don't know if you're serious enough. I had a deal of failed resolutions. She laughed So I don't think she's serious don't number one don't make them a number two like understand what they are They're just there's these silly things that we Arbitrarily attached to the calendar Which is nothing in a way to mark this You know the position around the moon and the sun so like if it was that important a commitment Then you wouldn't have waited till January. That's that's exactly right And it's not it's not a failure So you decided to like get up in the morning go to the gym every day and it's January 5th And you and you miss the last two days. We'll just do it today. That's how you deal with it Just do it today pick it up today. Ain't no thing The 64 000 question we need to know if josh ate the entire way this is going Tobler The story was He bought that for his other granddad. That was a Christmas present for his other granddad Which I I have here Nice. Oh, they brand it from NFC. I see you will notice that it's now empty because just decided to eat it He bought it as a Christmas gift and then decided yeah, I'm gonna eat that Yeah, well, he hadn't told him that he'd bought it and I there's no way he would have seen the video So he just thought no, we'll have it. We'll have that Well, that's fine. Yeah, you care. Good job. So Callie Callie from Massachusetts to answer your question The Toblerone no longer exists. They have no packaging. Yeah All 18 dollars. And yes, I see both of us did the currency conversion. So yeah, it was 12 12 quids people keep asking what's a quid quid is a pound for anybody that yeah I've asked the question too. I think you were the one who had to teach me that What's quid? What's the other you the quid pound? What's the other thing that you use? What's it? Come on. Is there another slang for that? There probably is I don't know Why is my like camera going You've got it on a live focus. Don't worry about it. I'm using my phone. Whatever. Just just don't move Uh Morning anxiety, uh, well definitely also asked about morning anxiety and it's on me. We talked about the sleep thing Morning anxiety like okay. Yeah, that's that's a strange one because for me it's never really I've never classed it as morning. It's just anxiety Like it doesn't matter to me what time of day it is like I've never really had an specific issue with morning anxiety or night I guess they they used to be a time of day. Are you always used to feel a bit edgy around 5 p.m? For some reason, I don't know whether it was hunger or something like that used to be an issue for me, but Like I mean sometimes yeah, you'll wake up and feel anxious, but That's I just that's just anxiety. It's not I guess it is Legally, it's morning anxiety, but technically it's morning anxiety. That's true When I was getting when things were getting better when I was like moving forward The anxiety was still the worst in the morning for me. So I sort of understand what they're saying Yeah Okay, so you wake up in the morning. Maybe you woke up to a burly. You're having trouble sleeping. You open your eyes It's 4 a.m. And like you have your anxiety is raging. Well, if you cannot go back to bed get up Like the best advice I have for morning anxiety is just get up and do not lay in it Like the worst thing that that I ever did was lay in that morning anxiety. Yeah Like oh the clock is ticking. I have to get to work soon. I had the phone's gonna ring soon Like no it was way better when I just get out of bed even at 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning and do something Yeah, check my email start to engage the world something get on a treadmill go for a walk Drink a cup of coffee whatever it didn't matter read a book I think we can uh, we can reference claire weeks on this. I'm sure she says rise on waking at some point those words Yes, like And honestly that goes for the depression thing too like and I know depression is harder and stuff, but Like do not just lay there in the morning anxiety and ruminate and think and think and think and think that's the point. Yeah, yeah Like it get into doing something something anything take control It's like even just sitting at your kitchen table with a cup of tea and trying to read a book is at least Making some active effort to be in control I suppose with the morning with the morning anxiety like that can sabotage the whole day Go on it because if you have a bad start as soon as you wake up and it's there then yeah But here's the good news about morning anxiety if you're calling it morning anxiety It's because it's worse than it is the rest of the day, which means the rest of the day is better Yeah, so like Get three in the morning and then we got the afternoon to look forward to I used to that that was for me became a Like a positive thing. I'd wake up and I would feel that anxiety And I would think like all right no problem because this is going to be much better by like And it was and so it became an indicator that for me if you if you call it morning anxiety because you're more Your anxiety is worse in the morning Then you know that you will be feel better in the afternoon. Yeah, yeah So to me it became like obvious proof like this is this is not a thing like I'm going to feel better come from five o'clock, so It's mad now When you when we look at the group and like the comments and stuff and certain people have it worse in the morning Some people worse at night Some people the heat the heat is a trigger some people the cold is a trigger. It's so crazy the scope of Just it's how everybody's so different. Yeah. Yeah, it's mad. It's all over the place But so I think that was really kind of the list that I saw in terms of I guess I can reload the page, but I don't know Um, I think the Yep, that was about it. Um I was all people asked for so that's cool The I think no matter what anybody would ask in the thread Just to make that blanket statement if you're asking you about a particular symptom, how do I deal with Some people mention muscle tension or or restless leg like legs moving Um, like every other symptom like every symptom is like every other symptom. None are different so whether it's Rapid heart rate or your legs are restless or you have tension in your neck and your shoulders or you Are depersonalized or do you realize the same exact thing every time? What do you do about it? Nothing? Yeah, because there is nothing you can do about it Yeah, you do nothing about it. That's what you do. So I've noticed the the thing for me like when I've been doing the walks and stuff It's the legs like the jelly legs If you've seen the video that I did on christmas day when I went out for a walk And I was I was walking back to the high street like I was walking down like a thin bit And I was coming back onto the main high street and within about 15 20 meters of it my legs just went to jelly completely But I knew why so it didn't stop me. I just kept moving just I myself down. Yeah, yeah But it was mad like just noticing that That's the thing that always catches me every single time There were times that I can remember like the legs were a big deal for me for a while And so I would be in the car like forcing myself to drive to work and do that sort of stuff And I feel even in the car wasn't even standing. I was sitting there I don't feel like all my legs feel so weak like I could barely feel them like they're not even there I would literally get out of the car. No, no shit. This is I would admit this Somebody wants to ask me what's the silliest thing I ever did with anxiety. This might be it now that I would literally get out and like I would literally get out of the car and say, okay Well, I got approved to myself that my legs are just fine even though they feel weak and like like they're made of concrete I would literally like hop up and down like a frog Like all full like ass to grass squad and then jump up as high as they can Like three or four times. I literally jumped up the stairs in my building like that two or three times I mean, I don't care. So look at me if you want, but to me it was like This is these legs are working just fine. It doesn't matter how they feel. They're still holding me up So Yeah, I would do that sort of stuff as crazy as that sounds it was It proved it proved to you that they would still get you there That's exactly right. And I know like um Donna in the group has talked a couple times about how when she feels like her heart rate start to go up She just goes out and starts walking Like You know, whatever, you know, whatever, but in the end, that's that's a direct challenge to the symptom Like I always encourage that challenge it then or do nothing You just let it be there and that you'll learn that way either way That the symptom doesn't matter. Yeah So that gets us to like We're done with comments. It gets us to how do we make a plan? How we doing? I have no idea how long we've been going. I don't know. I don't even pay attention to that What does it tell you? I'll tell you how long you're recording for 23 minutes. Okay. Well, we're good. Yeah, that's pretty good So let's talk about how to make a plan. What is a good plan? Maybe we'll title the video how to make an anxiety plan It's gotta be it's it's the small steps, man You because this is gonna be different for everybody because people are at different places like if I was to make a plan now It would be different to a plan that I would have made maybe two months ago Right. Well, the things you you are doing would be different Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's it. That's the point. Yeah, yeah So what would the difference be now? My phone would not ring That as often Number one silence your phone Freaking children don't have kids. That would be the plan It's like So, uh, I don't know. They'd just be they'd just be bigger challenges. I guess That would be the only difference further from home or right right further from the car Just putting a bit more pressure on like if you remember I was saying I think it was the last time we did this and I was saying I want to scale it right back and Like not do the two big things a week instead of doing that do like five six smaller things a week So it's right off. So that's what I started doing like I was going to my local shop every day with my son It's you know, we were walking up and down every single aisle because I was examining everything That was the point that I was making to stay. Yeah Yeah, just just to be in the shop to be in the place and I had I had one day where it was it weren't great I felt like shite, but Yeah, there's one out of like five or six times that we did it I'll take that Yeah, exactly. And so doing those small things every day. I'm going to say is made a difference Yeah, yeah massively like it the video that I did yesterday with Ben like walking around the castle grounds again Yes, I still had anxiety like Pretty sure I don't know like I got home. I felt fine from it. It's like I know I just know that I'm going to get through these things now So I feel like I can step it up a bit, but I just don't want to do too much That's I don't want to make that mistake that I've always made in the past Let's just go too hard Freak out and then lose the momentum lose the confidence in myself. I think Yeah, I guess it's it's kind of avoiding the big things, but I'm doing it because I know that They're not it's not going to be helpful. It's like the flooding thing in it. I guess I know that that's work for me Yeah, but I think what you'll find is as you're doing the little things every day So you're now a few weeks into doing that if you took on a bigger challenge now, it would be easier Yeah, yeah, we'll like it freaking go into the blues thing We do we seem to do that every year for some reason go to the building around and then like going to No, it was like it was a bit edgy going in the shop But as soon as I'd Road it out as we do Because that's the important thing and that's the thing that I think I've learned the most is just that It doesn't matter how I feel when I'm in it. I know that it will end If I if I stick with it or if I run out it makes no difference It will end so I may as well just freaking sit with it That's exactly right. You could either do something or nothing either way I'll say it's faster than something one of the most brilliant things I ever saw was When you were at the shop the blue shop and you know, you were going to turn around and leg it out And it was a josh that simple at least walked through the store. Yeah And like by the time you got to the exit door it was like, I'm not leaving He's been so good man. He has been so helpful over the Christmas period Yeah, been amazing. Yeah, yeah Like because people ask me a lot like what's it like because he's growing up with it Like he was only four when I had my first so it's all he's ever really known Like he's never he's never researched it or Learned anything but he just seems to know how to push me without being like he's not negative He doesn't make me feel bad if I I was going to say fail, but I don't fail But he just knows how to he knows how to spur me on sort of thing and it seems like he's kind of the perfect like He is really cool And supporting as opposed to okay, I'll go in for you like that's good Yeah, so So to get back to like the basics of a plan I think here's what I see people fall down all the time number one They don't they don't make a plan like and you have to make a plan you have to have So and the plan is often for them There's no plan and the plan is Or what they do do is like I'm gonna wait and wait and wait and avoid and avoid and avoid and then I'm gonna have to do Some things like go to a party or go to a funeral or do something or a wedding or something like that And then it will be a flaming dumpster fire over a day And then they don't then they feel like oh see this is horrible Or they arrange their plan is to just like engineer around the feelings Like oh, it's good. I don't have anxiety right now. It's fine. I'm not leaving my house, but I'm not anxious Yeah, and then that's where I've been Right and then they go from like sitting on the sofa to like this big giant thing Then it doesn't go well. They call it a setback and like there's like no actual methodical way to say like, oh, no, that's Here's what I'm gonna do. So First thing you have to do is ask yourself well, like do you have a plan and if you don't you're gonna make one Yeah, yes And that plan is to say like depending on where you are Like say where you are so where you are is like, oh, I can't leave my house or whatever may be And my goal is to get you know To the other side of the world. Well, you don't do that in one step Like literally break it down into the tiniest little things. So First like just start with like sitting on your front step Like that's your first exposure And if you have to do that for two weeks until you can handle it Then you do it and then you walk to the end of your your walkway And then you walk down the block a little bit and then maybe you get in the car and just sit in the car And then maybe you drive down the block and then maybe you drive around the block Then like but you do those things every single day again and again and again and again Little tiny things and then they add up and expect that when you're doing them you're going to feel anxiety like so Smallest possible steps to rebuild the things you want to do repeat them over and over and over tenaciously no matter how you feel And expect that you will feel anxiety when you do it if you don't then it's not helping you And anyway, the good thing about this if you feel like well, I can get in the car and drive around the block And I feel no anxiety fine. Then you don't then that's not an exposure for you. Yeah, you're gonna have Further do more. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and I think that's the biggest part of the plan like small steps consistently tenaciously every single day Understanding that sometimes it's going to be hard understand that some days will be harder than others And and know that feeling anxiety or even having panic is not failure That's that's not failure. You have to do those things. Yeah So I think that's the That's the most important part for people to realize is because they you think that you're gonna get better You think or you think that you're going to feel better just because you go out Even if you don't do it for a week, you think you're gonna feel better for doing it But you're probably gonna feel worse for doing it because that's what I did Like I was asking I was asking you like three weeks ago after we'd ended the podcast I was saying to you like I'm feeling like shit when I'm at home Because I know I'm doing this stuff like So even I was questioning it 14 years in even I was questioning whether what I was doing was the right thing to do But now of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now. I still feel like crap at home. Sometimes it's not as often as it was So there's the proof that something is working It's not as often as it was and when you do is it as big a deal Doesn't seem to be doesn't seem to I can I can sort of just brush it off at the moment That's like I'll just sit with it. That's the yeah, I kind of fine. It'll go away Yeah, I think that key is is like doing those small little things and break it down like ravenland Yesterday she posted a video walking just down the alley in front of her house So she and I hope she doesn't mind. I think she's gonna mind But hopefully it she's a really good example of that where she was doing the old like homebound thing And then like oh it was awesome I went out to dinner and then I went and visited my family and things that were huge huge huge Then she didn't panic so she thought that was good Yeah, and then then she went out again a day or two later had a big panic attack and felt like I'll forget it I'm agoraphobic again It's not how it works. So she's seen that light bulb all I get a break to stand at the tiny little things Yeah, yeah, I seen uh, but I think it was Chrissy Gomez posted saying she was on day three without anxiety I hope this continues and like no Right, right. Don't hope that it just don't care whether it continues or not I mean, I'm happy that she feels good. Of course. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I think that's part of that plan too. Don't be misguided in what your goals are So that thing that says be happy like oh, I've had three really good days That's that's not a bad thing But just don't do that whole like oh god I hope because then you you you're doing that thing where you're forgetting like no, you're in control of that process so If you sit there and say well I've had three days where I've had no I haven't had any panic or I've had very little anxiety You know crossed my fingers that it doesn't come back Cross your fingers like you don't need luck. You don't need to hold Yeah, that adds to add tension automatically that does doing stuff like that It does to a certain extent and I think even those statements like your plan has to your plan is behavioral It's cognitive. It's it's um It's vocal like how do you talk about your anxiety now? Like part of the plan small steps tenaciously every day repeat repeat repeat repeat If you watch the video that he did yesterday with leslie, you know, we talked about sex and intimacy, but she had some like outstanding points in general About like repetition repetition repetition repetition that's how you do it So you need a partner for that Well for that activity You know, it's a thing but but you know, she was applying it to just about anything learning to drive again Or get out of the house whatever it is. So there's that but then you also have to So you're changing the way you behave, but you also have to change the way you start to think and talk about this stuff too Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you have to stop doing the like this is horrible. This is awful. This is terrible. This is the worst I hate this. I hate this. I hate this like, okay, you know When you do that, you're you're giving it that aura that says this is an external force that I cannot control That comes in roles and that's not true because you're in control at all times So, I mean, that's another aspect of the plan change the way you start talking about and thinking about it. So I mean, I would I would think that I'm guessing you were probably thinking and talking about this Way differently now than you were a month ago way less That's the oh way less. Okay. You probably noticed that I'm just not in the group Like I'm not commenting I'm just I completely just I've changed everything because that's what I feel like Like I'm focusing on things that I enjoy doing like Netflix PlayStation talking to talking to people about just normal stuff like watching a bit more football soccer Going out more Right, right Exactly man sort of any of Pringles hell And that matters So what will happen is you start to do these little tiny tasks and you repeat them again and again and again And suddenly you realize like Oh, this is taking less of my attention all the time even though you're still in the middle of it And you still do the work But yeah, yeah between those sessions you you may start to find like, oh wait, I'm not consumed entirely With what my next step is gonna. Yeah, that's the thing for me. Yeah. I'm not I'm sort of I'm not really planning I think I'm past this Like because we've got this plan thing I'm past that I think I know I know enough about this and myself to know that I don't need to Make like an exposure step ladder. That's what I've heard it referred to Right. I just I know I know what I can do. I know what's gonna cause me anxiety So I can just work on those things But if you're starting out But that was the first thing that I ever did was made five things a list of five things And just work on the first one being the postbox man Yeah And like if you can't make it to the postbox then make the goal the postbox But just take the steps like you said put your shoes on sit on your front step Walk down right until you reach the postbox and then keep doing it And then well anticipatory anxiety is always going to be part of that you have to accept that that's going to be part So when you say like the postbox is you know, that's your goal your first goal You're going to get that 200 yards down the block to get to the postbox You know, you're going to have like really serious anticipatory anxiety even thinking about it at first So fine, so that's practice too like practice the anticipation and just sometimes you don't even get out the door sometimes you just have to go through the The motions of put on my shoes put on my coat stand by the door Get undressed do it again do it again do it again do it again So like as crazy as it sounds and those things matter like when you rebuild The to the point where you don't go into a panic just thinking about putting your shoes on which some people do I understand It makes a lot of difference. And so Yeah, and then and then you change your focus and you start talking about it differently Suddenly you feel like well, wait, maybe I do have some control over this what you do You always do So, you know, it cannot involve continually looking to the outside I think I will just add something that you said to me I don't know if we said it on the video or if we said it afterwards But like just doing stuff around the house as well like doing housework and stuff just being being active Like that's something that I've really noticed myself doing like I've actually tidied the house Yay Yeah, exactly just doing some like being involved in something other than Researching or sitting dwell in and thinking about stuff Right talking and posting and reading and like and it's funny You see the behavior change like if you if you're in the group and if you're not in the group Join the group Which we always say we'll put a link but um, you see the behavior change like people will come in and they are posting constantly They're they come out to every threat all the time. You can see they're just watching all the time Totally normal and then as they progress they start to comment less or their comments change I'm asking questions to offering help and then they they're less and less like that's normal So as opposed to just sitting there and like saying well What's the best way to describe this because I always say do nothing But you can do nothing while you're doing something. Yeah, when I say Nothing, you kind of have to start with literally nothing So the plan has to involve do nothing when you feel that way And I think the way you learn to do nothing is to literally do nothing like literally just sit or stand there and do nothing That's the third phone call Third phone call You are in demand is what it is Go on. It's josh probably asking for his table or own package My granddad found out you watched the video. He watched the video that jigs up Um, yeah, and I think it has to start with literally doing nothing But then you can learn to do nothing while you're doing something too. Yeah. Yeah There is my mindfulness and activity There is you can do nothing while you're doing the laundry or cooking dinner or walking the dog That's not that could be nothing too. So nothing really means just directly reacting to the sensations or the thoughts That's the thing. That's truly nothing is right. Do nothing as a response to that Correct. Just so at first you're just going to literally sit or stand still to do nothing to learn And after that you can go about and like go on a walk or you know read a book or play PlayStation or something You'll learn the difference between distracting and just living you'll learn it right like it's a it's a fine difference But you know it now. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's a fine difference. So I don't know I don't have any other like basic tenets of a plan other than break it down small steps Do not expect to go from zero to like yep. I can't do these things. So I just do them once every two weeks Hope for the best I've done I've spent 14 years doing that So if you need any proof that that shit doesn't work Look this side of the screen and if you need proof that doing it every day Look at the other side Well, well now now now it's working for you. So there you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's because I've changed I've changed my method now I've changed things Yeah, you know, I guess That that bears noting Like I'm gonna bring this up. So what have I done? You didn't do anything No, but you actually bring up a good point. You changed your method Like and so This is gonna sound so wrong, but I'm gonna say it anyway So you changed your method and you're doing it kind of the way I did it not because I invented it I didn't invent any of I invented none of this. I take no credit I'm regurgitating what people who have come before me have done So I'm just standing on the show on their shoulders, right And in the end that thing that we always go back to and it becomes a sore point integrator Where everybody's different and everybody's different and different things work for different people. Yeah, guess what? We're all the same And this shit works for everybody In this specific situation where you have modified your life to get around feeling panic and anxiety This works this way. Yes. Now then you can Address whatever your underlying things are that's totally fine But I am, you know, I'm getting worn down with the different things for different people. Yeah. Yeah I mean in the end it's not to say that like hypnosis might not make people feel better and cbd might make people feel better But this this is gonna work for everybody 100% like if you dedicate yourself to it I believe that Yeah, yeah, like it doesn't matter whether hypnosis works for you or not. Guess what this would work as well So right I can pretty much guarantee you that since you're not an alien and your brain is the same as mine and yours and everybody else What this will work it it actually does. Exactly. That's it. So wonder if hypnosis works or yeah, yeah Or if anything else why waste your time like don't waste your time just Well, let's try everything. I guess if you want to no fuck that just do this because this like Why not if you want your life back then I want my freaking life back And this this is the only way that I'm getting myself out the door is by getting myself out the door Yeah, she mentioned Leslie mentioned that yesterday in the video too Like if you want your life back, you got to get in the fight Like she's literally used the term you got to get in the fight fight for yourself. So I'm not picking on hypnosis, you know or anything like that. I mean, but like that's not really getting in the fight So an external thing if I take this pill or Say these words or read this book or talk to this person. It will make this stuff Vape this stuff whatever it is. So I think I think that's that that thing That's the other thing that I find is I'm not going to say there are people who will will swear and they're they're correct I'm not they're not lying that like well, I used to have serious anxiety problems But I started taking that doing lavender oil and exercising every day and below And it's great and and they start to live better lives, which is awesome But then when it comes back and pokes through they still haven't learned To not be afraid of it. So they escaped it with sniffing lavender essential oils and like eating certain foods and convincing themselves Like if I eat sugar, I'm going to have a panic attack and die So like I look at this process. It's almost inoculation against panic Like you're now inoculating yourself against panic. So if it comes back in six months or six weeks or six years You just say, oh right that again Yeah, it's like you just start reducing stuff in your life like taking stuff away You'll end up in a freaking room just a room with nothing in there and yes, I didn't feel anxiety I I could tell you that I know and I think this has to do with the plan I I know one particular person that I won't say who it is who I think had built that as part of their recovery Like they had built a very regimented. I do this then I do this then I do this And they were trying to like control everything their body and their mind did Yeah, yeah, you know what that's part of a plan you have to have that routine and it's fine They were executing that plan flawlessly And suddenly in the last month or so that has that routine has been broken for a variety of reasons So now there are different things happening things that that person was doing that they thought they had to do To protect themselves. They're not doing and lo and behold like oh, yeah, yeah Yeah, even though I didn't do this thing that I think I have to do. I'm still okay And that's because It was learning the skills mattered. So it doesn't matter if I don't do this thing or if I do do this thing that I think I shouldn't do Oh, yeah, yeah, I felt a little crappy today, but I was still okay. So Yeah, if you're trying to read like cut out all the things that you think cause anxiety Or add things that you think help anxiety You know, you're actually learning anything. So it's pretty funny on christmas day when we did the town walk We got to the car park and I realized that I had not taken a bottle of water with me Like it didn't create any but it was just like no way that wasn't the first thing I thought before I left the house like make sure I got my water Like that's how much I weren't even thinking about what I was doing. It was just yeah, let's just go do it And you remember those days when like I had those days like, oh my god, I don't have my water with me I cannot go out Yeah, and uh, so that that stuff is kind of crazy, but I sometimes I'm making it to yeah I was gonna say that's kind of like how you can sort of gauge your progress When you start forgetting those things that you thought you needed to survive the ordeal right Yeah, and and and then you realize you don't have it, but then you think well, let's so I don't care Yeah, there's that Open that where you say like, well, I don't have it, but all right Yeah, that's a big day. Right. We'll carry on anyway. It's a big day and I tell the story sometimes like, um My doctor had given me, you know, like I had xanax has it been so Give me like 90 of them because like 90 tablets for like 10 dollars in the u.s They give it to you and I would and at the end of a year I still have 89 of them left because I cut one into like pieces, you know And um, and I carry them around for years. I carry them and I remember the first time I got to my office and realized like I forgot to put them in my briefcase And I had to stop think like, uh, sorry If I never take them anyway, so what's the point? Yeah, yeah, exactly the big day So I think, you know, I kind of liken it to the process of like learning to play, you know Like playing the guitar and guitar pick so I can learn just I could watch youtube videos and just learn Where to put my fingers on the fretboard and learn to play specific songs But if I don't actually know that i'm playing a b or d or g or an a flat I don't learn the skill then all I know how to do is that song I don't know why Like learn the notes Learn learn the we're learning the notes is what we're doing. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah So that's the plan that's how to make a plan That's it. It's good. Break it down. It's the smallest possible thing be tenacious Hacked when you when you feel terrible Act feel terrible like don't wait like oh And never fall into that trap of like, uh, yesterday was so good. I was out all day. So today I'll just Take it easy Yeah Well The more you can do that Yeah, I've made I made a decision to like I leave the house every day like regardless It doesn't matter what I do. I just yeah, I leave the house even if it's yeah Even if it's only in the car, it's like take lula somewhere or go visit my dad Like I'll go to my dad's if I have nothing else to do I'll literally just drive to my dad's have a cup of tea with him and then come home Just something every day. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's so important and that thing that says like well yesterday It was a big day. So I'll rest today Like rest is usually a term another word for like avoiding Yeah, yeah, definitely as you get further down the road you you'll get better at knowing like yeah, I could take today off It's fine. No, I feel sick. That's fine. But but in the beginning you must do it every single day every every every single day As opposed to like well, I'm having a good day and if you're trying to do the big things You wait till you have good days. Oh, I feel good today. So today I'll try to shop Yeah, no better off Just walk around the block when you're having a really bad day much better That's it. That's the plan. It's my plan plan So I have a plan I have a plan for tomorrow I might I'm tempted to go to like a dog. It's called the dog's trust over here And I might be home a dog I'm tempted meaning like It's a rescue dog. Basically every home. I don't mean to let out the dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Awesome very very tempted. I'm going to go there tomorrow and have a look around. Yeah But it's all right. So that sounds pretty exciting. Yeah, it's like it's a good distance away The place is in Kenilworth. It's probably like maybe 30 minutes 40 minutes away. I've been there before like years ago Yeah So what's the challenge? What's the challenge there? The challenge is not the distance. You're okay with distance Yeah, I suppose the distance is fine. It's getting out of the car walking in the place Yeah, you know if you do it now, you're there while they're doing the paperwork and Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, you have to sit and talk to somebody But I've got the my experiences like sitting in the estate agents getting this place this house You know, there's nothing that I haven't done before So I've been to the doctor right after the vertigo thing. Oh, yeah, you've just you just reminded me I've got I've got my appointment for the ent but it's not till March 6th. So that's going to be something for Yeah, that's pretty for too long So that's going to be like I've got to go to a hospital for that. So that's going to be pretty big because Are they just all the vestibular testing and all that stuff like I would imagine so I would imagine so yeah, yeah So that's going to be like I'm not nervous about it at all at the minute But I don't like for me. I don't sort of I don't have the apprehension until like maybe a few days before it That's how things work with me usually So I'm not bothered about it and I like if I was to have to go now I'd go like fine. No worries But we'll see when March 6 comes Yeah, but I think if you keep doing what you're doing then That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Yeah, if I carry on on the trajectory I know it's not always just freaking uphill, but right, but when you get to March Fourth, you know two days before three days before you probably will feel way better about doing it I would hope so Yeah, yeah, it won't nearly be as bad as maybe past experience. Yeah Yeah, so it's all good. I should totally get a dog Yeah, I probably will I'm not the one who has to clean your yard and feed the dog So Okay Because I'm always at home. I work from home They just give me another reason to go out like walk the dog walk the dog But you did a bunch of videos with the dog, you know back in deed. I did indeed my old dog Yeah, I want a bigger dog this time. Yes get like one of those real jokes. Um, I believe it was Ron Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat Jack Russell's watching this or Yorkshire Territory. I apologize He meant he meant no harm Any dog I will stand by that statement any dog under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are pointless Now that I agree with I agree with that 50 pounds 25 kilos or whatever the hell Stone seven stone Seven stone Seven stone cat That would be big. That would be a big-ass cat. So the stone is seven pounds, right? 40 pounds. Oh, Jesus I totally had that wrong that four stone cat even that Geez what you feed in this cat? Yeah, right exactly the backup on the food a little bit. So Plus we got we have a couple more comments here Oh Is netflix a good thing Is netflix a good thing you got sucked in didn't you yeah big time 17 hours on homeland in the last three days That's a lot been there done that That's how I watched um sons of anarchy about the motorcycle game It was a few years old now, but I'd never seen it. I saw like two episodes on netflix and like in like four days I watched like five seasons of it Didn't shave didn't leave the house And it is bad you do you get sucked into it so bad Yeah, just I'll I'll be all right. Well, I figured I can't sleep anyway. I may as well just fill my time with homeland Yeah, fine. Hey, so you're up all night. Who cares? Yeah, watch drag your daughter to school drag yourself home sleep a little bit Yeah Go on what comments you got your life So, uh, let's see comments. We're just everywhere eddy dt The anxiety from work affecting family life and anxiety from daily life accepting work and professional I mean, I don't know if that's that's necessarily an anxiety disorder question Like there's anxiety in all parts of life. So eddy's talking about like if you have the shitty day work They come home and like yell at your wife or whatever I'm not sure. Yeah, I Right Yeah, it's a it's a good question. I think it's a little bit that's its own episode in a way I was gonna say, yeah, the work thing the work thing's tricky. Yeah Actually, that's a topic. That's a good topic. I don't get to work. Yeah, we'll do that. Good job, eddy So you win the topic lottery and molly just mentioned now when he says talk about not putting a time limit on this As people are just gonna keep commenting which is funny, but molly asks how Let's talk about how to help others on the forum As you know, I mentioned to someone how not to talk about symptoms because that does not help the recovery of anxiety But then it turned into a mess Anyway tips on how to handle this or should I just shut up? No molly should definitely not shut up Don't shut up. No, never shut up How to help people on the forum I'm probably a bad guy to talk about that because I'm just like a you know Yeah, but you are helping people there's a reason that you are the way you are on there um, so molly, I think the answer to that is you Um, it depends if it's a new person you haven't seen before there's a good chance that they might be new to the whole thing and so Usually what we see and I think you probably agree with this bill is like Somebody new shows up and the first thing they do is start to ask does anybody else get this symptom or that symptom? Like it's pretty normal. It's totally normal But new people also tend to just read voraciously through the forum because they're looking for help And they start to see like oh this we don't do that so much here So if you notice those things tend not to last that long So I try to say like well if this is a new person I expect them to do that Give them a bit of leeway. Yeah, not leeway. It's not like It doesn't need leeway or like whatever. I don't know before you bring the hammer down For the hammer because I know and I but I think what once have happened is they make a post and people will kind of Support them like yes, it happens to you too. It's just anxiety and after the third or fourth time They do that you see people will start to chime and not even me I'm like, well, you have to stop thinking about that. So I think molly. You just keep doing what you're doing Yeah, yeah, exactly There's no right or wrong way is there really it's just like we can stick to stick to the way that it works Or the way that we know that it works is to just not not focus on the symptoms and that because That's not helpful and I think it does make a It does make for such an and I feel like I talk about this too much now But I feel like I keep needing to address it. It does make for such an unusual environment In this little group of hours of 12. Yeah, yeah, it makes for an unusual circumstance So the hypnosis thing and Adriana if you're watching Adriana Adriana and I now have run into each other a couple of times like Somehow she thought I took a run at her yesterday because she asked the question tagged me specifically about hypnosis There was a bunch of really good answers. I did read them all like Holly answered very very concisely. She did a good job I think but Adriana specifically tagged me and my response was not like don't talk about this hypnosis shit You know, I said well ask yourself. Would you try to get out of it? Like I think it was a reasonable question and then but part of the underlying thread in that discussion was the whole like You know, is this okay like I'm you're gonna you're going against the forum Like it's not a cult It's not It's not so like it's not nobody is required to like what I say or you say what Holly says what anybody says and I think But but we are focused in a direction that most places are not so I don't know what I'm not sure I'm just sending a message Oh, great. Okay. Do what you gotta do It's totally fine. But that thing where like, you know, am I going and then I just try to comment and say like it's You know, it's okay to ask the question. Is it different? Yeah, yeah Because she because Adriana herself said that like, you know, you know, you know, it's you know We don't want to talk about like what else to do and like try and magic cures Like asking the question has anybody done, you know tried hypnosis is a reasonable question. It's not a terrible That's it. I mean, she's not advertising hypnosis. That's the point Maybe she's inquiring to see whether is that something that would work for me Well, it was a totally question. I think like is anybody else tried this or whatever. It's totally fine It's just the problem occurs when people come in and say I'm using CBD. It's cured my panic You need to try it like that's when it becomes an issue Yeah, it does to a certain extent or somebody were to respond and say, yeah, it worked great Then okay, well, let's find out more about that then Yeah, um, yeah, it's not like nobody was talking about a miracle cure or anything like that So that's totally fine. I think it's a it's a fine line that we walk sometimes. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of it's an inquiry They're Like you say it's usually the new people. It's the new people that come in and they They see that it's just it's an anxiety group and let's be honest 90 percent of the fucking groups on facebook are bullshit Yeah, it's that they look the same but that's fine. So they either feel like, okay, this is for me I'm gonna hang around with these folks or like, oh, um, this isn't for me and they leave and that's okay And I wish you well I think in the end the issue of like, let's talk about alternative treatments or whatever the hell like that Like those questions are always going to come up The difference is the best way to probably put it is it can't you can't show up in a place like this Where we're focused on a specific thing and then demand that we also talk about your favorite, you know Lavender oil Like you could go to the lavender oil forum then. So that's all In a way, yeah, I think in the end you can't demand well, this is a recovery forum So I want to talk about anything I want to talk about while there are many places to do that. So that's all Like, uh, truly like I don't need people to agree or I don't need people You know none of that you go in it's like going to soccer practice but taking a rugby ball with you and saying We're gonna use this right. We're going that's exactly right. We're not gonna right It's not run go to go to the rugby team. That's totally fine. I hope you're good time So I that I'm never gonna understand that whole thing. I'm never gonna understand like well, you know, just You know, we won't how come we're not we can't talk about any that's your way of the highway Well, no other way. It's this method. This is what we talk about here. So Yeah, don't I think that's the perfect line. Don't take a rugby ball to soccer practice Stick that in the forum Still do not bring a rugby ball. It's like oh, I'm doing it. So really good. So anyway, whatever dress that again But molly, don't shut up. Just keep offering to help keep going on and on and on the right you bloody do women All right, what else we got? I'm out and I'm out of ideas. I think that's about it, man I think it's about it. We've probably been going for a little while now. I have to get get my hair cut about an hour I need it desperately. So we just we're just approaching the hour mark. So Oh, wow, let's run it for an hour. I don't know. Well, so I've got to save it We'll run it for an hour. Let me see what can I tell you that What you've been doing Here's an interesting one because we did two episodes talking about christmas and the new year and the festivities How was it for you? How was it for me? It was like it never happened. It was a such a strange year I think I mentioned the episode we did on christmas feel like it didn't feel like christmas to me It still didn't feel so really went I mean, I got I had like the worst stomach virus like hit me on christmas day. So that week for like three days There's like a weird like a lost week. There's just yeah It was okay. Yeah, I was I have no complaints. It wasn't bad It just didn't feel like anything special to me for some other reason. Yeah So actually christmas night, I wound up like on my happily on my own christmas night Yeah, yeah I did that live thing. I'm like, um, I'll do that by the end of that to be totally I just we can talk about that a little bit by the end of that I was so nauseous like I couldn't wait to get off video. I'm like, I'm going to get sick on video This is not gonna be pretty So it was hitting me at that point that I spent the next three days just flat on my back But I was thinking about it like what is the difference like so many people when I get sick They just it's such a challenge like anxiety goes through the roof and it's like to panic and I'm like Why do I feel like I'm literally going to die here? But yet I'm not I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So I did think about that just So that was my that was my christmas. You had a good one then Other than just being sick and doing nothing losing track of the days I will say like I was kind of dreading this christmas I think I said in videos like I was I didn't know how I was going to feel like would I feel emotional on christmas night? Because I was at home on my own christmas eve. I was on my own and then christmas day I was on my own But I tell you what it has been the best festive period that I have had for A long time and yeah, it was so weird like this year We didn't have or I didn't have a lot of money for like gifts and stuff So the kids didn't have a lot but it made christmas feel so much better Like we had it box in day the day after But because it weren't about gifts like we were sitting around playing board games and just having a laugh and that and Like christmas dinner was funny this year. It was just it was so much better than I anticipated. It was crazy Yeah, yeah, why was that? Do you think what did it? There was no arguments. I think that was Okay, that was a massive part of it. There was no bad vibes Because of the bad vibes routine. Yeah That yeah, she she shall not be named. I think I think I think that's what it was man The kids were just relaxed it weren't all about gifts It wasn't about who's got what and who's had the most spent it was just You were just enjoying things together. Yeah. Yeah. It was mad crazy. I would not have expected it to turn out like that I know you're a little bit offensive. Yeah. Yeah big time. Yeah That's that's really good. That's really weird, isn't it? It's weird man It's crazy just when you think it might be bad like it could just be a bad one But it turns out to not be bad one at all. Yeah, I was thinking like mentally I thought I was gonna struggle with it like yeah Just being on my own for like the thing I was thinking was Christmas Eve night. Like am I gonna feel Just anything but no just watched a watched a couple of movies on Netflix jobs are good Let's you go. Yeah, that's so funny. It starts to feel like for me that's kind of felt like any other day That's true. So like that's good. You could sort of detach the expectation Like I must feel festive on December 24th and 25th. Like well, maybe you won't Whatever I'm just gonna say something else, but it's completely gone out of my head and I can't remember what it was That happens dammit Um, let's talk a little bit about so you're out and about much more. Let's talk about the physical conditioning thing Like it's funny because um, somebody had mentioned Danny from Australia He was saying Andrew should do like a video of like exercising in his home gym. Yeah. Yeah, that was kind of cool Um, are you feeling like a little bit more physically confident now that you're just out every day? I mean, you know, it's not like you're out climbing mountains, but Is it made a difference in any way? It's in the plans Yeah, we've got a few they're only probably just hills That's exactly right. No in New York. We don't have now we have to go upstate way I don't know whether I'm feeling any different really not really. I don't think so Just less I think less stressed like we I said to you like a couple of months ago I was feeling pretty much down and out man Just I was losing faith in knowing that this shit works Like just weren't prepared to put myself through it I would just do do what I had to do like the school run was the only thing I had to do and that's all I was doing Yeah Now I I've just remembered what it is. I was gonna say good because we're leading on to it But just like I don't know this year this year. I've said it to a few people I'm making 2019 the year of being selfish because I want to get myself alive man And I feel that that's the only way that I can do it is just put myself first for a bit I said it in a few videos didn't I like that's that's what I intend to do now Yeah, but it you kind of have to yeah, exactly I think people feel that they shouldn't know like they feel bad because oh Right can't go do this because I've got to work on myself Well, no work on yourself because eventually then you'll be able to do all the other things like with the family and stuff, you know And I think you know, so when you work on yourself, you might maybe you feel it's not being selfish I mean, so when you're better you're a better dad. You're a better friend. You're better. Exactly. Exactly Put the work in now. That's that's my plan is like this year 20 90 Yeah, I'm we might get to freaking February and I just can't be bothered Sitting there in my underpants watching Homeland series Going with how I feel now it's just like I'm ready put the effort in every freaking day. Let's do this There's nothing wrong. It's not in any way selfish in no way is a selfish. Yeah You know, you got to take care of that shit because otherwise Yeah, no, not taking care of it to a certain extent might be a little more selfish Yeah, yeah, I suppose. Yeah, look at it that way man. So you need the whole world to sort of sort of revolve around you I'm gonna mention another thing that pops in my head then we could just do this We could just sit here for the next two or three hours. I'm pretty sure I'm just used to your consciousness but One thing that came up this past week two or might have been last we can't remember who I was talking to But that thing where so you're talking about in 2019 is that you're feeling selfish Which is fine. You put yourself first and you take care of your shit But then there's also that thing where we have to remember that when you're in the thick of it and you're constantly focused inward You're constantly worried about how you feel. How am I gonna feel? How am I gonna feel if I do this? What if I have to do this thing? I don't want to do what if I have to do this thing that I can't do You're constantly looking inward You start to feel like you start to act a little bit like the center of the universe to a certain extent And what I mean is then you put even more pressure on like well, what if I ruin Christmas, I'm going to ruin it for everybody So I just want to say like We got to get over ourselves like that thing like really you think you have the ability to ruin other people's lives You do not so Am I trying to tell everybody they get since in that situation too that this was a good discussion that I had with somebody like If you know if you walked out the door and having for big a hit by a bus and you weren't here the next day Everybody that loves you would be very sad and their life would go on I don't mean to minimize that but yeah, no, it's true. Yeah, they added pressure of like, oh, I'm ruining everything being this way I'm ruining it. I'm ruining like stop. You're not ruining anything like You're only you're only impacting yourself to a certain extent. So you got to get over that So I think it ties into that whole yeah, yeah, maybe like yeah, maybe the selfish thing me saying that is the wrong word But what I'm doing I'm cracking the whip on myself. That's what that's the best on my own cheerleader But I'm also my own freaking slave driver. Yeah, if I if I don't push myself to do it like The proof is in the pudding. Nobody else can make me want to do it Like being with my ex didn't make no difference having unfortunately having two children didn't make no difference So I think I am or I know that I am the only person that can make a freaking difference Right only only from inside so that selfish thing That thing where people worry like they're ruining everybody's lives around them by being this way Like no, not really The only thing that yeah, you could only impact yourself and so as opposed to Being so focused on that just be focused on moving forward. Like you're still gonna Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm worrying about like I'm ruining it. I'm ruining everybody's things. I'm making you I'm bringing everybody down. Everybody hates me. Everybody's nobody's like the amount of time you could spend Thinking about that you could actually be moving forward. So the only the only person's Life that you're truly ruining is your own Oh, right in the end. There's another nugget for you in the end. That was worth hanging around for an hour right there Yeah worth the vaping And the rugby ball and the soccer practice don't forget all of us. Yeah, that was good too. That was good too And maybe the dog like getting a dog. That's always fun. That's good So there you go. We're gonna do each of those things could be their own topic. I'm sure but yeah, yeah We're good man It's two at times 1048. I'm good. I'm good. I gotta be out the door in about 20 minutes You gotta go get your haircut get that hat off Yeah, I gotta get this hat off. Yeah, I gotta get rid of that I'm gonna give you one episode with a hat on and that's it. I never saw that See you not Except for that and do not that's it and we're hot. This is like this is what you do when you get up in the morning Go to the gym and throw a hat on Anyway, all right, so we're good. Anybody have any topic suggestions throw them in man Yeah, we're gonna we'll do that next week. Maybe yeah, we're gonna do this next week. We're back on the Yeah, what the hell? I like it. I like doing the Saturday morning thing morning for me. Anyway, so Well, it's morning for me at the moment. It's effectively morning We'll deal with it. All right, brother. I'll catch you later on. I'm gonna hit stop on the record Yeah, hit stop. I like the like the freaking video before we go Like subscribe hit the bell I keep saying like if you've got to the end now, then you know that I'm gonna start uploading these on my channel as well Apart from the christmas ones because that's just gonna look a bit weird But let's just Subscribe to drew that anxiety guy check out the group the links in the description Right if you're watching it on mine hit subscribe it watch the adventures of bill and ben the anxious men Gotta plug that Um, yes, that was really good. You should watch that Incidentally, I'm gonna keep you for two more minutes, but that's he's he's the first person I've met that has anxiety Like properly had a like face-to-face conversation with like obviously me and you talk and that and I've spoke to people online But physically it was mad It's cool How crazy is that because do you know what it was reminding me of when you met Nat when you met Natalie All them freaking years ago and I was saying like I need to do a uk meet up because that'd be awesome And it's taken this long I think she is the only person that I've actually met Like from either the old panic station days or even yeah, I don't think I've actually met anybody else In real life. There's a few people very close like wendy wendy schweitzer in the group. She lives 15 minutes So maybe one day, you know, and I think there's a few people in the new york area I was actually thinking about like doing a beat-up of some kind. Yeah Yeah, we'll meet me and Ben. We're talking about like maybe going to them because I know jam is not far away So right you got the watch party jam. I get the cat along girl. We're coming It would be yeah, it'd be totally cool. But yeah, yeah Yesterday was really great. And by the way, like Ben got in the car and said well By the way, this is also the furs that I've driven and like yeah I know dude. It's like sure. Yeah, you guys on All right All right Hit subscribe Nice subscribe and all stuff. Oh wait one more thing God for God's sake You know Video I've been uploading the videos to facebook and no sound for people with iPhones So I'll tell you the issue that I had yesterday with the woman Leslie the sound was out So I had sound but there was like between the video and the sound was like two three second delay So what what I've learned rapidly is it's cool to upload to facebook as we can do the watch parties and stuff But they suck at it. They are not good at it I think the issue is we record it's the skype one. So if I just talk into the camera and put it up, it'll be fine But it's has something to do with the way we're recording Audio is in two channels and facebook doesn't know what to do with it Like youtube just happily munches on it and serves it up nicely So I wonder if it works. Okay, because I'm doing the editing on the video And then I'm I'm rendering it. So it's probably that's why that has worked. Oh, maybe that no Well, let me think about that. Yes, because you're pulling me into vagus or something and then rendering it Whereas if I do anything with it, I'm just trimming it. I'm not really doing anything Um, because let me think Yeah, I'm better than you. That's that's it. You know what you are absolutely I will see that on the video stuff like you got all the cool shit, man I don't I'm not that dude. I'd like to be there. You're never gonna be that dude Too time consuming. I ain't got time now. You got the good stuff Netflix, that's right any every time you spend editing on this is less homeland. Exactly That's it. So all right now we can start recording I'm gonna hit start by people. Good luck