 Well, I just about wraps it up for sports talk today. Well, you know what? We actually have time for one more caller caller What you got? Hi guys? I got a quick football question. Okay. Go ahead. How do you think? Who do you say slip space so Bert? How do you think slip space is gonna do this year? Well, I mean just consider their division, right? They've got overcharge and they've got drop pods in that same division What about the situation with cannonball? Well, yeah, the situation with cannonballs messed up, but they'll get it worked out I'm sure I mean they could recruit an entire new team for cannonball and still be better than slip space Slip space finish last season one and 11 I wouldn't be surprised honestly if you didn't see one of their games on TV this year All right strong opinions that about does it today, and if you did nobody would watch it Tune in tomorrow. We'll have more information about the announcement from the grip ball Hey tank Tank hey yo, that's my favorite blocker Hello tank. Hey tank. Do you have any idea where the rest of the guys are? Hi Flint. Yes. Hello tank again Okay, listen. I need to find the team coach says the league in making an announcement You mean our coach. Yes, thank our coach meeting team. Do you know where Jock in the rookie? Oh, yeah, I do Practice their practice. Okay, great. You stay right here. I'll go get him. Okay, Flint You get everybody for the meeting plant working on a coach. Well, hurry it up. I'm working on a coach Maybe if you all got in one place at one time, we might actually win a game this season working on it coach Today I want to cover the ball carrying now. What do you think it takes to be the good ball carrier? Oh, I don't know. What about hands? No, it takes the mind inside your brain. I see Carry the ball with my mind. So you're gonna teach me telekinesis How long is this training session gonna be? No, man You have to realize what all good ball carriers know when you carry the ball the ball does not exist It is just you and you have no ball. Yeah, that sounds like an insult You have to sink like the ball. I thought there was no ball. We know ball So I have to think like something that isn't there exactly mom you have to clear your mind You must forget all your bad habits my bad habits. Yes, your bad habits bad habits, okay? I'll forget my whatever it is. You just said Hey, how's it going guys? Great Fantastic very good progress coach wants to say is they got some kind of press conference and they wanted press conference great Love those. Let's pick this up Later that boy has a lot of bad habits. Yes, he does The hell that means Great, everybody's here now. We can get this show a little bit. Hey guys Hey, somebody turn that up. Yeah, I got it Stu Stuhman here for UNS in sports the commissioner for the International Griffball League of Earth has called the press to their headquarters on very short notice Man, I hate that guy. You hate the commissioner of the reporter Man, I hate those guys. Okay. I understand. He's ready. Let's turn it over to the commission Well, hello everyone. Thank you for coming today in such short order. Maybe I'll announce a pay raise I'm very excited to bring this announcement to you today. He's excited. It's not a pay raise as you know Griffball is the single fastest growing sport in the entire universe and as such the Eagle has a responsibility to its fans and to its players responsibility to the players Think they'll turn off the exploding ball. That's certainly would lower our healthcare premiums the ball explodes only when we score Well, there's nothing to worry about then right a responsibility to bring Griffball to as many fans as we possibly can That's why I'm proud to announce today that we were adding an all-new expansion team to the league What who cares about that makes sense our conference is down a team because of what happens to team cannonball What happened to cannonball after they won the Griffball last season? They let's just say they spent a little too much time celebrating Sir. Ween Hey, their loss is our game. We should have been an expansion team, right? Those guys have to suck Excuse me commissioner stew stewman UNS in sports. Is this team going to replace cannonball? Well, they will be filling in cannonball spot in the division with the drop pods overcharge and slip space Of cannonballs former players because they're all dead. Yes because of that But also for salary cap reasons no team heretic will have an all-new roster featuring players that have never played a single game In the Eagle before yes told you hair is a that's a weird name man I hope we get him in game one would be nice warm up on some chomps before to play some real teams But I know you're all anxious to meet them so without further ado, please welcome the members of is that technically possible? How about traded can I be traded for sport not particular and the story everyone is talking about The intergalactic Griffball League's first ever all-elite team who knows how this will impact play Have you ever played against elites before? Yeah sure we used to play pick-up games back during the war You know between battles and they weren't turning up planets into big chunks of glass really no not really Shut up and watch the TV the TV is smarter than you reaction around a league has been mixed Some don't like the idea while others hate the idea with me tonight is the all-star Ford Pounder Mcjones pounder your thoughts my thoughts My thoughts are that it sucks you believe it will affect the way the game is played They're eight feet tall man during the war. They could kill ten men. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's gonna affect the game So you disagree with a commissioner's decision, of course this league has history You can't just let one guy make decisions like that when you say history you do realize the Griffball Leagues have only played two full seasons Right, yeah, and this guy is just pissing all over 17 months of time on a tradition here for a bottle Is the captain of team heretic saw a hang a hammer, uh-uh. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly that is a lot of apostrophes Now saw anger alien guy pounder says your inclusion in the league will affect the game negatively He also says your inclusion in the Griffball League is quote pissing all over 17 months of tradition in quote Out of context, you see I could have that doesn't sound like anything. I'd say alien person your response to these sensational comments Clearly some strong opinions Well clearly no love lost here save it for the court you too. We'll be right back after this short break I think you'll see this only means good things for you. I think that goes without saying and yet I said it anyway Hey everybody wait, what's the commissioner doing here? He's trying to sell us on this elite team Just think about it. You already said that one corporate sponsorship is an important part of running the league uniforms we do you take money out of all our paychecks Well, that's just standard policy. They told me that was for taxes the league has already picked up three new markets and five new Sponsorships what kind of company would run ads because of aliens why alien companies, of course They want to reach our new audience just a few moments ago We signed a lucrative deal with some kind of food nipple They don't understand a lot of it all I know is that they pay in cash You're coaching the elite team What I do that because it would be a conflict of interest because you never played the game because you're a crappy commissioner All terrible reasons I can coach our new superstar championship team That's going to be the highlight of the entire league and still continue my impartial duties as commissioner What is someone files a grievance against your team? Who would do something so stupid someone with a grievance an opponent who feels that your team has an unfair advantage Well, that sounds like whining to me. They accept that decision. That's impartial Something means making tough choices. Yeah, sounds like it. It ain't easy being at the top buddy Let me tell you now come on First teams play team heretic would be happy about the opportunity being for so who is the first team? Honning our match to an astronomical level They say the broadcast could be the most watched event in the universe or even the world great I always wanted to have a huge audience for my death Stu Stuman here for the start of the intergalactic Griffball League's third season tonight is the game We've all been hearing about as team heretic takes on slipspace No doubt everyone listening to this is familiar with the controversy surrounding the new alien team A controversy that has led to record sales of Griffball team merchandise and corporate sponsorships Just today five different companies have sponsored the elites and then subsequently dropped them for morality reasons Their current sponsor is the gigantic software company meh Who i'm being told has just dropped them. Haha things are moving quickly So how's the team? Okay, all things considered Kind of like the atmosphere on deaf rope. Maybe I should talk to them pep them up Yeah, I don't think that's probably a good idea. I wrote a speech already Maybe you just tell them good luck or shake their hands or you can just wave like from the doorway. You think? Yeah, quiet confidence. Let them know you're there. Then the speech Now I say you just go the quiet confidence thing. That's a solid statement I like it me too. It's good. You thought of it way flint. That's nice of you to say I mean, I'll probably be dead in the next few hours, but still nice of you to say How's it going guys? How do you think it's going? Remember just stick to the plan I don't think update your will is much of a plan. I mean the game plan If we stick together and stay out of the way, we might all live through this Everyone knows they're gonna win. So if they score on us, no one will be surprised Five goals and we all go home. Just make it look good. Right. We just need to make five goals No, they make the five goals But Then they would win right which is gonna happen anyway So if we let them score then they win exactly make sense When do we score? Um tomorrow Okay, that makes sense. Great all on the same page then. Oh also coach wanted to say something to you all Coach That seat I think you'll all agree that went about as well as it possibly could he seemed really confident Okay, showtime everybody and now the moment you've all been waiting for from the far distant system of saying helios I hope i'm pronouncing that correctly the bad boys of riffball And your home planet favorites Well, it looks like the two teams will be foregoing the traditional friendly handshake for this match All right, both teams are lined up. We're ready for the first ball spawn in three Two just remember the plan one here we go Heretic seems to have started with a team kill And another slip space seems a little confused as do the aliens Oh now they're racing for the ball heretic takes first possession And then immediately takes out his only remaining teammates a questionable strategy at best These guys are terrible Uh guys, what do I do? I I guess hit him score slip space So much for your big plan. Well the team has respawn Let's see if the elites can do better Not any better Well, it's halftime here at the griff ball palace and i'm not really sure what to say The score is a shocking 4 to 0 with five rounds left to play and team slip space has a commanding And a very surprising lead over team heretic Who i'm not sure really understands the concept of an athletic sport at one point They managed to score on their own goal, which i'm not sure is even technically possible The ball is specifically designed not to do that You see I was like zoop and that elite was like what and I went uh, uh score Are you like me now aliens? You guys are doing great. Yeah, we are on a relative scale. Probably was my speech Probably coach Well, look at the cat drag then a commish Great team. Hey guys nice first half commish. What's going on out there? I don't know. I guess we should have covered the rule book with them a little better Or maybe even translated into their language Kind of overlooked that part rules are overrated. It's all about heart. Yeah, well heart and a basic understanding of the purpose of the game But mostly heart Right, listen though. I do need to ask you guys a favor favor. Yeah, we kind of need you guys to uh Lose to what to lose in the second half. We need you to kind of tank I'm tank. That's me not now the donk. Okay. Well, I have a couple of questions One of them being how But mainly why well people really expected the aliens to win We've done a lot of marketing around them I talked to the other owners and they all agree that a great alien team is good for business and a bad alien team A terrible alien team worst alien team ever is not so good for business Why is that our problem? Maybe we're just really good. We're not I said maybe well It's kind of everybody's problem because I guarantee the networks and our merchandisers Certain ratings and to do that. I kind of had to use all the teams and league assets as collateral You bet our teams against our teams seemed like a slam dunk at the time. You can't do that without our coach's commission All right, we did do that. Yeah seemed like a real slam dunk. Who knew? Whoa, whoa, doesn't it usually work the other way where the underdog team has to win the game to save the league? This is unbelievable. Well, it could mean good things for grip ball and that could mean good things for you Probably not though like a new practice field. You could have this stadium Don't go beyond that profit sharing and the network deal. That seems fair. No promises And we don't have to pay for our uniforms out of our paychecks anymore I think we could work that out one in all 50 states tank jack anything you want I would like free advertising for my charitable foundation. I didn't know you had one I would also like my own charitable foundation tank. Well, I don't know. Um I guess I'd be willing to do it if they let us win this game It's all that matters to me We'll just make him a trophy. So uh, we have a deal Stu Stuman here with your post game wrap up And what can only be called the most ridiculous and longest comeback of all time Team heretic pulled out the win five to four in a record setting six hours second half Well, that was a hard game fellas But I guess you could say We did what we had to do. I thought we're gonna be able to pull that one out for a few minutes We it was a close one. I got a trophy. Well coach That's always next season. Yep. We'll get them next year Last one of the new stadium has to be the goalie Thank you for watching this episode of red versus blue if you want to check out more go to rooster teeth It's an app. It's a website. It's a lot of stuff