 second time today I had to jump back on you again tonight to share just one more video with you for the day and yeah we're gonna be talking about why they never get what they want at the end and what I mean by what they want well first let's talk about the difference between what a normal person wants and what they want because a normal person I would say like myself but I am not completely normal but yes a normal person what they want is I would say a fulfilling relationship that's what all normal normal people want or most I would say they want a happy marriage children a family that's what they want in the end it's normal to want that but with narcissists what they want is more about themselves just serving their own needs so they want someone to be their perfect supply always be there for them to do whatever they want whenever they want them to do it someone who won't question or confront them someone who will listen to everything they say they just want someone to do what they want someone to believe in their lies someone to validate the illusion that's really it that's what they want and they want to be in control of everything they want to be in control of if and when it ends which if a narcissist has a perfect supply and there's no signs of it of its losing its potency they're probably not going to get rid of it it's only when you start disrupting what they're trying to accomplish you question and confront them you don't want to believe in the lies and the illusions that's when they want to get rid of you so they want a perfect supply that they can just keep for the rest of their lives if they can but they're never going to get that now let's talk about why they're never going to get that and this is something that's probably never been talked about before I'm going to give you the reason why narcissists never get what they want they never get the perfect supply and begin and the reason for that is because of their own doing they self-sabotage they resist what they want they end up pushing it away from themselves because they are very arrogant they have to be the best but of course if someone is a really good supply for them and they do whatever they want they listen to what they say they never question or confront them they're gonna see that person as being better than them in many ways because this person is giving them everything they need they might be giving them money a place to stay this person must be pretty wealthy to be able to do that they must be quite powerful and successful at least when they're not around the narcissist so naturally they see them as being superior and as we know unless it's a superior person outside the home that they could be friends and used to climb the ladder the narcissist resents superior people they can't stand it when it's someone who's close to them because remember they are very envious jealous and insecure which causes them to become very competitive and that's how you know if they were resisting you if they were resisting you they would have become competitive they would have started to see you as their opposition as though they have to outperform you and when you know this not only with narcissists but you can read anyone like an open book you can already know what they're thinking what's going on in their minds because the very thing that they are resisting is the very thing that they want yeah that's right the narcissist wanted you still wants you but they resent the fact that they cannot control you they cannot tame you domesticate you they cannot make you do what they want that is the problem that is the problem and that is why they turn against you that is why they begin to see you as that opposition but that is how you know that they secretly admire and respect a lot of the things that you do because they resist you they resist you because they see it so you have power over them and in a lot of ways you do because many of you you may be or may have been feeding the narcissist clothing them putting a roof over their heads so without you the whole thing falls apart so of course you have power over them and you should have some form of authority over them if you're in control of all of these things so that you can manage and direct these things that you are responsible for but they don't want you to do that they want to have the authoritative position over you which really doesn't make any sense it's like a child that wants to be the parents they're the child that you have to do everything for but then they want to have this authoritative position over you as though they are your parents which doesn't make any sense but this is how they think because they want all of the power without any accountability which really spells disaster not only for the for them but also for you and it's especially for them in the gens they never get what they want because they resist anything that they think is better than them but as we know the only thing they want is someone who is better than them it conflicts and that's why they can never get anything in life because they're not going to settle for anything less we all know what they want they want someone who is powerful successful attractive makes a lot of money has good connections fame and in pretty much every situation that type of person is going to be better than them in many ways which is exactly what they want but they resist the very thing that they want which means they're never going to get they're never going to get it how can you get something if you're resisting it so this is it this is how you already know the future for them you know how things are going to pan out in five ten twenty years you already know what's going to happen and there's no other way around it because the last thing they're ever going to do is submit to someone who they seem to be better they seem to be more powerful than them which is exactly what they want they are never going to do that so that means that they will never get what they want no matter how much they want it and you've only got to look back at your relationship with them to realize that this is the truth you were responsible for everything in that relationship many of you did everything you were responsible for the home for the car the money we're working every day you had to do it all but did they submit to your authority since you're responsible for everything you should have some level of authority did they submit to that of course not you had to submit to them and that's why it all turns the shit in the end because at the end whatever happens you're really at the mercy of the captain of the ship whether it's in control whether it's steering the wheel and they had to be in that position they had to have a authority over you they had to have the control so you were doomed right from the beginning maybe if you could have got behind the wheel they had given you permission to do that if they had let you take the authority position then you could have steered things into the right direction you could have taken back control of your life and guided them to safety and abundance but no matter what no matter what they would never let you do that because they resist you they have a lot of resistance they resist the very thing that they want the very thing that they desire and that's just how it's always gonna be for them that's never gonna change because as I said they are very envious jealous at insecure deep down they know they're not good enough deep down they know that they don't deserve you anyway so by default all they can do is push you away all they can do is resist you because otherwise they see it as though they give him power to give and what good is it if you have all of the power and they're weak you can have a very powerful person and a bunch of people that are weak nothing's gonna get done so that's why they have to trick you into giving your power to them so then they can make you think you're not as good as you are and then they're able to control you while they're resisting you the entire time yep that one word resistance it's why they fail it's why they end up miserable and alone in the end and I think we can learn a lot from that but why why do they resist I mean I said they are envious jealous insecure and that's really it especially the insecurity I mean the insecurity is what causes them to be envious and jealous but why are they insecure they are insecure and they resist what they want because they have a belief that they cannot have what they want even when it's right there in front of them even when all they have to do is reach out and take it they believe that they cannot have what they want and it just perpetuates the cycle and actually after many months or years have gone by and you could just put it right there in front of them you could say you know if this is what you want you want this relationship well not the relationship you want to have power over me when it control me you want me to do what you want if after a few months or years you say okay yes I'll do that again they're just gonna push you away the more because they've already built up a lot of resistance over that time they waited so it just frustrates them and at that point there's nothing you can do there's no possible way that you can save them no matter what you do to them no matter what you give to them it's too late because of their minds actually to be done months ago years ago so what is the point you trying to do that now they never get what they want in the ends because of their resistance and because deep down they believe they can never have what they want they believe that they're not deserving of what they want and our beliefs create a reality whatever you believe becomes your reality and it's no different for narcissists whatever they believe becomes their reality so if they believe they can never have what they want they will never have what they want we get a reflection in life of whatever we believe our beliefs are very powerful and that's really their entire disorder it is built upon resistance take away the resistance and you probably wouldn't even have a narcissist anymore but they're never gonna let go they're never gonna drop it because they think they're using this resistance to protect themselves from the pain and shame they have fears and insecurities so yeah that's it a very deep video tonight I had to come out here by the river to do this one because it is very deep and I think I may able to think a lot more clearly but the sound of running water and the light in here as well it's got a good atmosphere all right thank you war for joining me on another not survive a live video I do appreciate your war please give it a thumbs up down below to support our community coaching inquiries you can email me at coach it at nark survivor UK you can book a session from my website it's narks fiver UK and also check on my Instagram I just put up some new pictures and videos earlier today it is narks fiver YouTube again thank you all for joining me and you all have a great day