 Hi y'all, she was seven, I'm back. Okay, so today's topic is gonna be a little bit tough for some of y'all ladies, and I'm sorry. We gotta go there, okay? We gotta go there. Okay, so today's topic is why some women will never get married, okay? There's a few reasons, okay? And I know a lot of y'all are gonna say, oh, those independent women that don't need a man that they'll never get married. But there's also another set of women that will never get married either. Okay, hold on one second, let me see. Okay, yeah, I was too close. These type of women are the women who keep making the same mistakes over and over and that don't learn from them, okay? These are the kind of women who will, sorry, interruptions, who will keep making the same exact mistake over and over, listening to the same thing over and over, dealing with the same man over and over, the same type of man over and over, and falling for the same tricks over and over, and they will never learn, okay? Part of the reason is because they don't love themselves and they don't value themselves. So they're constantly seeking approval from other people, from men, and they don't realize or they don't see the mistake that they're making at the time because they're not looking at it from a point of view of self-love, okay? These kind of women hardly ever get married because when a man sees a woman who doesn't love herself, all he sees is opportunity, okay? He sees opportunity to use her, he sees opportunity to get what he wants out of her, just to probably live off of her for a while, to probably get her to do things that the type of woman he will marry won't do for him. So when you are in a situation where you're uncomfortable doing something, but you are doing it to keep a man, that's sign number one, that you're not probably gonna be married to this person. Number two is if they have so many conditions in order to stay with you, or be with you, or call you back if it's under condition, many conditions, you're not wife material to them. You're just like plan C, not even plan B, okay? You love them or like them or give them more attention than they like, love, or give to you, you're not wifey, okay? I'm just telling y'all because a man who meets wifey, he's her, but she's his number one. He's always calling her. He's always looking for her. He's always thinking of her. He's buying her gifts. He's doing all these things for wifey, okay? For side, for side chick or C chick, I call her C chick because she's side chick to side chick. She's an afterthought. She's the person that he goes to when side chick is mad or busy, or if he hadn't found wifey yet, or something like that, okay? No, the type of man that treats women like that don't really take them seriously, okay? Now, if you wanna be wife, you have to put demands out there. You gotta have standards. You gotta say no. You have to say no all the time, okay? That's a challenge. You have to be respectable looking. You can't have some crazy, outlandish, drama-filled, past baggage that he has to put up with. If you have that and you're dealing with a man and he's promising you this and that, don't even believe him because most men aren't gonna take that baggage as far as they can throw it, okay? They might tell you this, but they're gonna do the opposite. I'm not joking. So if you have all this baggage, all these mistakes in your past, the crazy past and stuff like that, and this man is telling you this, this and that, but he's doing the opposite. You have to look at that. You have to say, why is he doing this? And he says something totally opposite because he's keeping you exactly where he wants you. So when he's ready to use you again, you're still there invulnerable, okay? Now, I can't believe that stuff. If he doesn't treat you like number one, call you all the time every day, he takes you first thing in the morning, buys you gifts and stuff. You're not wife, you're not wifey. So, believe me, there are women or there is a woman that he will do that for, you know? And if it's not you, then you're not wifey, okay? And in order to become this kind of woman, you have to have high standards, okay? And a lot of women will say, well, no, it's not about that. Yes, it is. You take a man and you put high standards on him. He's gonna have to work for you, okay? And that's gonna make it challenging to him. And you're gonna become an accomplishment to him and you're gonna be the prize for him. You're not gonna be like, you know, something that he'll take or leave or you're not gonna be somebody that's a servant to him. You're gonna be his prize, what he fought for, you know? So if your man does not have to fight for you, if your man doesn't have to meet demands from you, you're probably not gonna be wifey, okay? Well, ask anybody who's married. Ask anybody who's married. They'll tell you the story. Well, when I met him, he wasn't, you know, da-da-da-da and I made him step up and, you know, the story will be, go ask married couples how they met, go ask married couples, you know, what was it about her that attracted you, da-da-da-da, you know, and listen to them. Because it's not gonna be on my Instagram picture. It's not gonna be, oh, how is the freakiest girl you've ever met? It's not gonna be any of that. It's not gonna be, oh, I have a big booty. No, it's not gonna be none of that. It's gonna be, oh, she was wifey. She was perfect. She was bad. She had this going on. She had that going on. She was respectable. She was pretty. She was smart. I could take her home to my mom. She, you know, this is his net, you know? It's not gonna be, oh, all my boys had sex with her. It's not gonna be, oh, you know, she used to be, you know, I don't even know, whatever. She used to be this and that. No, it's not gonna be, oh, well, she had five kids and I decided to step up to the play. It's not gonna be any of that, okay? Just face it. Some of y'all have made so many mistakes that it's almost gonna be impossible for you to get married unless you try to marry somebody totally different than what you're attracted to. Okay? Because, let me tell y'all, my mom, she had four kids and she remarried a lot. But it wasn't the type of man that most people wanna marry. I mean, they were older. They had money though. You know, they weren't as attractive but they took care of her, you know? Well, actually it was just one guy that did that. The rest were losers. One guy did take care of her and her kids and da, da, da, which one of her kids was me. But she had to change her standard. Like if she wanted to remarry, she couldn't say, oh, I want a cute guy, then this, this, this, this isn't that. No, she said, okay, I'm gonna take whatever is going to love me more. You know, I'm gonna take whoever loves me more and I love him and who could take care of me. So if you're in those situations, you're gonna have to switch your taste in men because you're not gonna be able to get the same type of man that a single, respectable woman with no kids is gonna be able to get, okay? It just not gonna happen, okay? When I met my husband, I had a degree. I have no kids. I look better than this. Like, I know a lot of people be making jokes. I'm old and I'm trying to give young people, yes, I'm old and I'm damn proud to be this age. Some people didn't make it, okay? But when I was young, I could have anybody I wanted, okay? But I was very careful of the choices I made because I knew it would affect the rest of my life. I knew that it was, I didn't believe, you know what, first of all, I didn't believe in soulmates. I didn't believe, oh, this is the one for me. I didn't believe any of that, you know why? Because I choose who I want. I have a checklist, okay? I had a checklist. I'm like, if you don't got this, this, this, isn't it? Uh-uh, I didn't go by my feelings. I didn't let my heart leave me because the heart will get you into trouble because if it's not paired with your mind and your logic, you'll get in trouble every time, you know? Your heart can lead you to love someone who's a total loser. Can't do nothing for you, but drag you down. But your mind will take you to a winner who can only bring you up, okay? And if you love yourself, your heart is for you. Your logic is for how you, you know, make decisions in love, okay? So if you love yourself, you're gonna choose the person who's best for you. Not who makes you feel good temporarily because feelings are temporary. Not who you think is going to be the perfect man for you because you have a connection of feeling. No, that's, that doesn't always work because those feelings always change, do you understand? But the qualities in someone is pretty much set. You find a responsible person, they're probably always gonna be responsible. You find a person who's financially stable, they know how to get financially stable. You find a person who enjoys being with one person in a relationship, they're probably always going to enjoy being with one person in a relationship. So when you pick a man, make sure you pick their qualities, not how you feel about them, okay? That's nature, that's gonna happen automatically. Between woman and man, there's always gonna be chemistry, you know? But how are they gonna be able to take care of you, your kids, your grandkids, you know, your future generations? Are y'all gonna be able to live in a nice place, a nice house? Are you going to be able to do all these things, okay? If you don't choose a man on those type of, you know, mental questions in your head, you're doing it all wrong. And you probably are gonna take a long time forever to get married, or you probably won't ever get married at all because you're not marriage minded when you choose men, okay? You choose men, like many women that I talk to all the time, they choose men based on stupid stuff, like looks, okay? Those looks are gonna fade in a man. Looks can't pay the rent. I've said that a thousand times unless you're a woman. Looks cannot pay the rent with a man, okay? All they can do is lay on your couch and play video games all day. Look pretty, stay there until you get home from work because you know you the one that's gonna be working if you marry a pretty boy, right? So looks, no, don't go by looks. Go by intelligence, the ability to earn a living and provide for a family. Go by if he likes you more than you like him, if he honors you, if he's proud to be with you, if you're the prize, go by that, okay? Don't go by the stupid stuff that you think is gonna keep a man because that won't, okay? Because that man likes you and more than you like him, he ain't going to wear, okay? So find a man like that. So many women have this fairy tale thing in their mind about marrying the perfect handsome rich da-da-da-da man. You can't get that all rolled up into one unless you are that yourself or at least very beautiful, okay? Or he's blind, I don't know, but you're gonna have to use your brain. You're gonna have to, instead of your heart all the time, okay? A lot of women say, oh, I'm not gonna name names and I do a lot of consulting with women about relationships, but there are some women who are making business decisions to marry and that is the smartest thing in this day and age that a woman can do, okay? She knows her heart. She knows she been in love before as a teenager. She knows this, this, this and that, but she's setting up her future. She's setting up her children's future, her grandchildren's future with the type of man she marries and ends up with, okay? So ladies think like that. When you lay down with a man, is this gonna be the man who's gonna set you up for the future, set your kids up for the future? If you don't think so, if you don't got it already, he's probably never gonna get it and you're probably just what my mom used to call another notch in his belt, okay? That means you're just another one that got screwed over and left behind. Don't, mm-mm, and I know a lot of these ladies say, well, he wanted to have a baby with me. He asked me for the baby. If he didn't ask you for your hand of marriage first, then obviously the baby was a trap so that you can't move up forward onto someone better because now you have his child and he'll always be connected with you, okay? I'm just saying because a lot of women get confused. If a man is asking you to have a baby before he's asking you to marry, you're in the wrong relationship, okay? That's just dumb. It's really dumb. If you think about it, why would he wanna have a child with somebody he's not even married to when he can go and do the same thing to another woman and another woman and have many kids by many women he's not married to? What makes you think he gonna stay with you if he won't even marry, you know? So I'm just saying this because a lot of women need to hear this. A lot of women need to hear this. More than you think, and it's pretty sad because I thought women were smarter than this. I thought the child was smarter than this, you know? Look out for number one, always first. If you care about a man more than you care about yourself, you're always gonna lose out, okay? So when a woman truly loves herself, she's looking out for number one first and foremost. That means she's not missing what a loser man who's gonna drag her down. That means she's not trying to please somebody so they can stay because they're trying to please her so she stays, okay? No, you have to flip the script, ladies. And if you're dating a man because he looks good and you think that he's your soulmate and stuff like that, what if he dies? Is that was that it? Are you gonna think that there's another soulmate? I say I don't believe in soulmates. I believe in compatibility and I believe like, you know, people have a lot of things in common. They have chemistry, they have attraction because think about it, if there was only one person for you and you met them and then they died, then what? You supposed to spend the rest of your life alone, miserable and there's no other person meant for you? No, that's BS, that's why I said, if you caught up on this person- So sorry, I got cut off and my show came on so I had to take a break in the pause and come back. So what I basically wanted to tell y'all was think before you make a decision. Make decisions based on your future. Don't make a decision based on someone's potential and use your brain more than use your heart because emotions and feelings are temporary. Decisions and choices are permanent, okay? I'll see y'all on my next video and I'm so sorry for the tough love but y'all needed it. I'm sorry but y'all need to hear it, all right, bye.