 Hey survivors welcome to the video please like comment and share subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet click the button underneath the video and also the bell icon so you can receive all of the notifications if you would like to make a donation please click the dollar sign icon in the live chat or you can donate from my PayPal the link is in the video description if you are interested in a one-on-one coaching session with me please send me an email my email is in the video description Narciss and projection Narciss are empty and honestly very boring people once you get to know them they just have a lot of practice at perfecting the initial interaction they've learned through repetition how to disguise their true personalities which are based on unresolved traumas and negative emotions they never look at themselves and realize that though they were projected onto you I might even call you boring they use gifts sex and drama to create the illusion that they are these fun interesting people you will never have an interest in conversation with a narcissist unless you steer it and basically talk to yourself you will never receive any positive energy from a narcissist although they will drain you of your positive energy they require excessive attention validation approval and admiration from their victims unlike us they cannot validate or approve of themselves this is why most of them are cheaters or sluts they are constantly chasing that approval from their victims if you want to keep the narcissist happy you need to give them attention validation approval and admiration all of the time the problem is the longer you are with them the less potent you become as a source of supply they will need more and more from you and if they are not getting what they want they will start to abuse and manipulate you this is another way for them to get supply if you do not tolerate this they will leave and look for someone else who will be more likely to accept their abuse and unlimited cravings for attention validation approval and admiration a new source is going to be less sensitive to their games so they will tolerate it for some time just like you did earlier in the relationship but of course the cycle repeats itself however they are trying to make you feel that's how they feel inside your happiness is a reminder of how miserable they feel any positive emotion you feel will trigger them to reflect on their own negative emotions they will then abuse and manipulate you in an attempt to project then intense negative emotions of hate anger envy and jealousy onto you if you are not aware of emotional projection you will assume that those are your feelings but they are not those feelings did not come from within you the narcissist was feeling hatred or anger towards you so then they had to abuse you in an attempt to make you hate them they were feeling angry so they had to provoke you to feel anger they were feeling envious or jealous of you so they will buy something with the sole purpose of making you envious of them or they will triangulate you in an attempt to make you feel jealous they make you feel as though you are not good enough or something is wrong with you because that is exactly how they feel but they cannot stand to look at themselves so they project it onto you they will do or say all kinds of things to make you believe that they think you are not good enough or something is wrong with you if you look into the minds of these knocks you will find that they hate themselves and they are using you to express this hate anything negative you feel well being around an artist just understand that this is simply their way of communicating their own self-hatred when they try to project their negativity or distorted beliefs onto you do not feed those thoughts they already know that their negativity or distorted beliefs don't have any value that's why they are trying to project it onto you they don't want it either they have so much negativity so many distorted beliefs in their minds it's overwhelming for them so they try to dump it onto you and the narcissist mind you are either perfect or nothing priceless or worthless normal people see things in color to them everything is either black or white good or bad right or wrong everything is generalized and grouped even if it doesn't belong there they will adjust their perception in their minds so they can generalize or group whatever it is they are talking about it makes them feel more comfortable to put everything in a group it also fulfills their obsessive need for control pay attention to what the narcissist is saying to you or displaying to you at some point you may have done something which made them feel hateful or angry towards you or you did something that made them feel envious or jealous towards you they talk this personally narcissists do not self-reflect or lock within themselves they do not deal with their emotions and they can only hold them for a short time before they project them onto you because they do not self-reflect on these emotions they can hold on to them for years you may have done something that made the narcissist feel hatred anger envy or jealousy towards you many years ago this could have been something you were not even aware of at the time and because the narcissist does not self-reflect you could talk to them many years later and they cannot help but to constantly project these emotions onto you now they are saying or doing whatever they can in an attempt to make you feel hate anger envy or jealousy towards them you need to identify that these emotions do not belong to you at some point something you said or did made the narcissist feel this way towards you they never resolved this issue within them and since narcissists don't really self-love their only option is to project these emotions onto you so you may be you may be wondering why you cannot have a normal conversation with a narcissist why they always bring around and things up or lying to you in an attempt to make you feel those emotions towards them this is the reason why because they never dealt with the emotions that they once felt in the past when you said or did something that made them feel hate anger envy or jealousy and since they do not self reflect or look within themselves this is all they know how to do now and it never ends it created a program in their minds and the only way they can remove this program is by self-reflecting of course narcissists do feel deeply ashamed of their toxic behavior but they do not want to self reflect it's too painful for them although they are shame-based individuals they will do whatever they can to dodge the shame they will deny any responsibility or accountability for their actions they will shift the blame on to you and gaslight you into thinking that there is something wrong with you will discard you and disappear like you never existed these are all attempts to dodge the shame they feel you may have thought that they were doing all of this because you were not good enough or you did something wrong but that's just what they want you to believe they want you to believe it so that it can be more believable for them but the truth is all those times they use tactics such as denial projection blame-shifting and gaslighting all those times they told you that you are not good enough or something is wrong with you none of that had anything to do with you they would just project their emotions on to you deep down they feel as though they are not good enough they feel that something is wrong with them they are very insecure and have an inferiority complex as a coping or defense mechanism they will say or do whatever they can to get to get you to feel the way that they do so if they say something negative to you don't take a personal it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them they project that onto you because they find it too painful to self-reflect if the narcissist is trying to make you feel hatred anger envy or jealousy towards them it's because you said or did something at some point which made them feel that way this could have been the other the other day or even if several months or years have passed it doesn't matter because they will hold on to the way they felt during that moment they do not self-reflect or try to resolve the issue they do not self-loathe so that only other option is to project those emotions onto you do not trust what they are telling you do not trust what they are displaying to you everything they say or do has an agenda it is designed to make you feel the way that they feel or the way that they once felt the narcissist lives in this illusion where they believe that they are in control of us but they don't realize that they are still unconsciously reacting to unresolved feelings from many years ago and it doesn't matter how many years or decades go by they will continue to react to those emotions they once experienced as a result of something you said or did they will try to get you to feel the way that they feel not just once but again and again because they do not self-reflect so it never relieves the pain that they feel within the narcissist never moves on they can only create the illusion as though they have moved on but deep down they are holding on to grudges and resentment unresolved traumas and painful feelings which means that no matter how many years or decades go by you will still have some level of control over their thoughts feelings actions and behaviors whether you like it or not once you can identify the moment where they had learned these actions behaviors coping and defense mechanisms it will all make a lot of sense some narcissist try to hide their true feelings towards you if they are if they are aware of narcissism and their psychology behind it they may understand that by overtly displaying their tactics especially projection to you you will then pick up on it and realize the time and place where you had said or done something and they learned that behavior from you the projection is really just a tactic which they use in an attempt to dodge the intense shame they feel every day in almost everything they do and everything they say making you feel as though you are not good enough or as though there is something wrong with you discarding you as though you ain't shit this is all an attempt to dodge the intense shame which will continue to grow within them as they never learned how to deal with it the very thought feeling or person that they are so desperately trying to run away from is potentially what would help them to reflect on their feelings and then resolve them narcissists are constantly on the run from the intense misery and shame if they so endlessly feel all day every day and this is why projection is one of their most used tactics narcissists are self-absorbed and lack empathy they only care about how they feel they don't care about how you feel and that is why they will project on to you they don't feel much guilt or remorse for what they do but the way of shame follows them throughout their lives which is why they are constantly hateful envious and resentful towards you they look at you and wonder how you can reflect on your own emotions rather than projecting them on to them this makes them feel even more inferior and gives them another reason to tear you down for showing them everything that they are not showing them everything that they should be doing but don't because they are too weak and lack motivation everything that they do feel shameful of they will then project on to you when they were children they were told that they are not good enough or something is wrong with them this has developed into their inner dialogue or inner critic now there is nothing you can say or do for them without them constantly being criticized by this inner dialogue which was developed in their childhood they are preoccupied with their inner dialogue to listen to anything you say it overrides any empathy they would otherwise feel for you this was programmed into their minds from their childhood and it is designed to block or deny the very things that they would need to remove the programming you might be trying to have an open honest conversation with a narcissist but this is not going to happen because the inner dialogue or inner critic is blocking this from taking place all they can hear in their minds is that they are worthless and insignificant so that they are going to respond to you as though that's what you think or that's what you are saying to them that's why they are so competitive and it always seems like they are trying to prove something to you as an emotionally healthy person you should be able to identify with how the other person feels you should be considerate of their feelings and be able to demonstrate empathy and some form of understanding narcissists are locked in this programming which makes it almost impossible for them to feel empathy or consideration for you I guess the only thing preventing them from doing this is the feeling of shame or fear of being judged but shame is such a painful emotion it is the lowest frequency on the emotional vibrational frequency chart many people have chose to kill rather than to face their shame so the odds are 1000 to 1 thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you please like comment share and click the subscribe button if you haven't subscribed yet talk to you soon