 Domestic violence is at a crisis level. It is an epidemic in South Carolina. We often remain at the top of the chart as far as men who kill women domestic violence incidents. For me living with domestic violence for most of my life I witnessed domestic violence with my parents. I witnessed it with other family members and then I too became a victim so I always say that I was I was definitely groomed to be a victim. I knew exactly how to be one because I had seen it all of my life. I live with as a victim of domestic violence for almost 18 years. I was you know in a in a relationship that I didn't realize I was a battered woman or a victim of domestic violence until later on. Once I got older because it was cute when I was 22 to have somebody who wanted to control everything I did and everywhere I went it was you know very you know it was like nice because it was like oh he loves me so much but then as I got older I could see that you know all of the black eyes and the bruises and the control was not it wasn't cute and it wasn't about love it was about control and it was wrong but I had been conditioned to accept it because it's what I knew so therefore I continued to live in it until you know I was able to to break free of it. First thing is to support the victim you might see it they may not be ready when you see a victim of domestic violence people want to say things like oh that could never be me or why would you stay or how could you live like that that's not the correct way to behave when somebody is a victim they need support they need you to just say I'm with you you know what can I do to help you to give that encouragement to get out not to belittle them and put them down because that just makes a stressful situation more stressful you know I had to I had an instructor who happened to work for sister care I was in college I was in grad school and how she knew that I was a victim to this day I still don't know because the way I got out was she handed me something one night on my way out of class and when I got to my car I looked at it and it was a hard for sister care two days later I needed it and I called the hotline and I got guidance and leadership on how to get out for the first time in my life I realized that I was a victim and that I needed help and that was 15 years ago and to this day I am still in counseling because there are some things that hit you so hard and hurt you so deep that you may never get over and I used to rush myself to say when am I gonna get over this why can't I just get over this but through going through the counseling I learned that it may take me a lifetime to fully heal from all of the trauma I suffered at eight years old I was molested by somebody in my neighborhood and then to grow up witnessing domestic violence to move out to my first relationship when I was very young and it'd be real with domestic violence it may take me forever to completely heal but I can't say thanks to sister care I am better I am here now because I want to give back to an organization that supported me at the lowest time of my life at the time of my life when I wanted to give up when I thought that I was so irreparably broken that I would never be normal and certainly that I would never be able to function in life but I did it with their help and I highly recommend anybody going through anything that they believe you know whether it's financial or physical or mental abuse that happens in so many different forms reach out to sister care they were there for me they're still there for me and I'm giving back to them because I'm gonna help somebody who is just like me