 Now for those of us in midlife, you know, it's interesting. I had a comment come in on My group page the other day and if you're not familiar, I have a group called midlife love mastery There's a link below this to join the group. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis But we were talking about, you know The challenge of getting a second date the challenge of wanting a second date with someone and the challenge of getting a second date with someone Isn't it fascinating? you know We all believe that this should just be so simple just mating should be so Ridiculously simple. Well, I want you to think back hundreds if not thousands of years ago It was simple when we lived in tribes and there was a hundred and fifty people and let's just say there were fifty people of a certain age that were You know, and usually the younger demographic that were suitable for one another half men half women That's it. That's how you that's all you had to choose from and it was right in front of you Now everybody to choose from is Behind a screen is behind a screen Isn't it fascinating everybody we choose from most everyone we meet today is behind a screen We don't know who they are And so it makes it very challenging to decide whom we should date In fact, I did a post on Instagram today, and I want to read it with everyone Some people seek a serious Committed relationship and others say they want a serious one but cannot commit for various reasons Kind of like what I just talked about for those who seek a serious relationship It takes almost being a detective to pick up on the subtle clues aka red flags Most humans give off in their capacity or willingness to partake in a serious relation most people miss these clues because lust limerence or chemistry was Designed to bond us on a cellular level, but it doesn't mean they they suit us on a relationship level While this attachment was meant to help us procreate the species Relationships today require a different approach before attraction and romance and that is vetting Asking a few critical questions before jumping into jumping in on the romance bandwagon puts the odds in One's favor when choosing someone aligned with a person's values visions lifestyle emotional maturity and relationship skills Sadly speaking most humans are afraid to go deep because there's there's a lot of jackass advice to discourage interviewing someone and I say bunk Interrogate people is my motto who here agrees and the meme that goes with it if you want to see it It says attraction and romance based dating keep individuals in the honeymoon phase which bypasses the vetting stage By the way, there's a link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you My whole coaching practice is designed to address the vetting to address the vetting vetting mean ask better questions before you go on a date. So if you apply My approach by before you ever go on a date with someone you ask those critically important questions There's basically one thing you need to address on the first date And that is what I'm about to share with you right now and that is being safe safe SA FE SA FE this is what I want you to Identify before even considering this is after a first date to consider a second date And what the safe stands for the S is do you have a spark with this person? Do you have a spark? It's not just about attraction. Okay, it's do you feel something like let me just say this You could be with the most beautiful man or woman in the room and feel no spark And you could be with a person that probably isn't your type and you can feel a tremendous amount of spark if you feel spark It's worth a second date The a stands for all right All right. Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel open? Do you feel receptive? Do you feel all right being with this person? That's a great sign if you're feeling comfortable if you're feeling open if you're feeling receptive Hence the word safe you feel safe If you feel all right, then it's worth maybe considering a second date with a person the F stands for fun Are the two of you enjoying yourselves? Are you enjoying yourselves and the E stands for? Enthusiasm can you say yes to a second date with a bit of enthusiasm? I'm here to say you should feel like you really want to see this person Do you feel safe a spark? All right fun and enthusiasm if you're feeling those Then it's probably worth giving this person a chance However, as I said prior to this do your vetting a bit of those critically important questions before you go on the date So you can then see if it makes sense to move forward with this person because then Is this making sense? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know if it is please hit that like button Please share this video with your friends, okay? And please post a comment as well if this is resonating with you