 Welcome to Toffy TV, this is the 1878 FM podcast. We are bushless again this week. It's like he's developed this back injury and we're having to manage him through the situation very much like Dominic Albert Lee. The irony is that he's on Maisie side or he has been on Maisie side and we've seen him less. While he's been on Maisie side then we would if he was in whatever corner of the earth he lives in. He lives in Essex actually. He lives near South End in a place called Lee on Sea. Which is interesting actually because he lives there and he's on Absolute Radio and so is Sarah Champion who's also on Absolute Radio. She lives with Pete Donaldson who used to be on Absolute Radio and so we've dubbed it Absolute Lee. Do you know what it's like? Do you ever see that film Copland? We're all cops living one little town in New Jersey and they control it and they control the flow of whatever goes on. Do you reckon like they all walk round and there's someone's playing a song that goes against the playlist? They just tot and walk away very slowly. Every song has to be a certain length and in one area of the place it might be an 80 song but in another area of the place it might be a 90 song. But they have to be the same length. It has to have that certain musical credibility doesn't it because they don't play stuff that's rubbish. And ladies who work on the radio station have to have a certain voice quite deep and quite bassy. You know they hung around watching really bad bands just to see if they're good in smoky filled basements, gigs. You can just tell. Just to get that gravelly voice. Just to get that gravelly voice. Yes we were watching the electric boogie monkeys last night phenomenal band. They're going to be big in the next 80. No one will know they are but they're going to get lots of Ivan Novello awards. Maybe that's what he's been. Maybe he's been scouting the next bands. He didn't come in and go sleep on a couch like other members on the air. To be fair Dave we are due a visit from you at some point. It's been a while hasn't it. In fact it must be. It's got to be at least three years. We'll get a new couch next week. Can I come and open it? Come and have a sleep on it. What you could do is you could put some special ribbons on it and then I could turn up as if I'm a member of the royal family or a visiting dignitary with a pair of scissors and I could open it for me. Whenever you want to do that Dave we will get the ribbon. Incidentally talking of Bush is this two episodes that he's now missed out of eight or something? It's missed two out the last three. It's not good is it? We're going to have to monitor the situation and send them to a specialist. I was going to say very much is that I'm going to calm a little off the podcast. If it's persistent we're going to have to look at a way to solve it. I think he's probably more like the hammer to Rodriguez because he basically tells us when he's not doing it. We have to let him off because he brings a certain level of gravitas to the... At some stage we're going to have to decide if we're working or not. So we've got to prepare himself for that moment. We're not at all right. It's about commitment and it's about team spirit. The only way is that it works and that's a seamless link into Saturday. Obviously a commitment about teamwork and Dave first and foremost a tremendous 3-0 victory for Evan. What a difference a few days make because obviously we're talking at the time that we're talking we haven't discussed the Newcastle game. No. I'm trying to skate over that. I'm using this in a positive way. The reason I mentioned Newcastle is to highlight how quickly things can change and how they did change because everything that was wrong about Newcastle and in fact some of the recent performances was rectified I thought in terms of the way that they played on Saturday. When you think about it there wasn't a huge amount that was... It was just that cutting edge. It was that final third play which was so lacking before and the fact that the lack of any attempts on target previously. Then this was a whole different ball game. There was intensity. There was pace. There was that cutting edge. There was good movement off the ball. I agree with you Baz in terms of the fact that having dominated back in addition to his goal which I thought he took brilliantly. I thought that the team played differently as I think you pointed out on one of your vids the other day and it just felt like there was a better shape and a better direction. His centre forward play about receiving it back to goal and then laying it off again and then moving just made it so much better. But it was as I say just such a marked contrast between the two whereas after Newcastle I started to get a little bit worried for Lampard. I don't want to sound alarmist and sort of ringing the bell too early but in light of the way that we live in modern football and obviously with Gerard et cetera and people will always make the comparisons between those two and I kind of thought is this going to start getting a bit lumpy for him. And then you saw his frustrations in the post match after Newcastle and then you look at the post match after Saturday and that in many ways sort of sums up how difficult it must be to be a modern day manager because at the end of the day you've sent them out with essentially the same kind of instructions and the same kind of preparation and just tweaking it and getting that bit more out of them was a completely different complexion. I think he did, we talked about this in the final where there was a positional change for Alex Ooby which was key to a lot of it wasn't it. And then obviously as you were saying yesterday, Miche Lenco put in on made a big difference. Just going back to what Dave's saying here about Lampard and the way he looks sometimes. There is a reason why we've signed up with a Tichish here treatment specialist isn't there? He's doing well, he's getting the modern day comb over going there. Get a bushy at the front and then I think we've seen similar from Beckham but that's magically gone away. Now it must be difficult because what I do like though is, I've noticed this with Frank Llanparg, you can tell in some of the press conferences that he's absolutely fuming with the team but he does it really well of not letting it seep through and actually come out with those things. I don't think anyone minds that as such because we saw that last year at Palace when we got beaten 4-0 in the cup and everyone agreed. I think there are times in a place when you do it and obviously you've got to keep the spirit of everyone going but I think the difference again is with what Dave was saying there is that people do like Frank Llanparg, Evertonians like him, he's got a great base of support and that will keep him in the job through those tough times when you might lose three in a row. He does explain it really well and I think he's explained it well in terms of the three teams we've got beat by are better teams than us and those things will happen but you've got to keep doing what you're trying to do and get better with it and I think on Saturday we've seen a massive example of that. Just little tweaks that we saw and I liked them in the press conference where he came out and he said afterwards saying that Michael Enkel being on his side was great in the first half because he could talk to him and get him higher and keep moving him up and I think that was a massive difference. I think that was the big difference. Michael Enkel played ten yards further forward and everyone then just seemed to play on the front. I know that was already instilled from the beginning because we are playing at Gooderson and you always have to have that anyway but I think that was really important as Dave mentioned there, Dominic Harvenloon being a real focal point for us. I think the first goal illustrated that. He wins the ball back because he's used his pace and his power and I don't think Neil Mopai could necessarily do that because he's not that kind of player. Gives it to a Wobie but then gets back into the space, receives it brainly and it's a good finish as well, hits the target and that's all we've been asking for. Yeah, definitely. A Wobie obviously was instrumental again but it is the intensity that was there and I think the crossing, they were throwing a few crosses in early on and that always gets Gooderson going as well and you're both responding. Don't you have the crowd responding to it? That gives the players energises to players but... Everything was earlier. Everything seemed to be much less dithering for one of a better word in the final third. Whereby when you look at that, the reason that goal of Dominic was so good, he got it, he hit it straight away, early doors, he didn't tit around with it and actually give somebody the chance to come in and take it off him. The best one of the lot which was the effort from Anthony Gordon with his left foot which the keeper tipped over, again get it, get a good shot away quickly. It's almost like they've been told to really cut out some of that last minute pauses. Yeah, exactly, asking about and it really paid off and it was just that speed of decision making I thought that made a huge difference. I think as well you're saying there, Palace obviously were missing Czech Decory and I think he's obviously a big player for them and that's another thing isn't it? It's like if they've got a really important player missing, don't let them settle into the game, don't let them get them because I mean you go back to like Spares last week and like for the first 20 minutes and much under the cost we were and we got through that and I think we've said that a couple of times this season, get through the first 20 minutes, he's thrown everything out, yeah. And then settle into the game and I think that happens in a lot of Premier League games where if you get through that instant, there's a lot of adrenaline flowing into the beginning of the game, team got the manager's words ringing in their ears, get out of these, get an early goal, face goals are a big thing. I think that was the same for us, it was like don't let these settle, don't let these get comfortable or good or something because once that, if you get past that first 20 minutes and you haven't got that goal then everything just seems to be a little bit harder for everyone when we're at home. The crowd can't, not necessarily get frustrated and it does less so with since Frank Llandpards being in charge but there is that thing of certainly I'm in the gladness season, we're all standing up and after 20 minutes if you haven't done anything you're desperate to sit down but you know you can't. So there's that thing of like keep the energy going and if that flows through the crowd so I think it was really important we got the early goal and once we got it and they had to start chasing the game. It was perfect because they couldn't really find a way through us. No and we did also witness one of the worst referees, one of the most inept refereeing performances. It was terrible wasn't it? I don't know Dave, I don't know if you got to see the full spectrum of how bad this guy was but he was truly, truly out of his depth. He was just some of the things he did, he was just mad. I mean down in the capital he got clothes lined, I mean it was like he bounced off the top rope, came back and like there was a bit of a sniffing and ready to take him out. Honest to God the undertaker would have been proud of that one, he was nuts. And he didn't even get a buckham for him? No he didn't even get a buckham but he was awful. Both sides though as well, I mean he gave them, he let us get away with a couple of ones that were blatant files and he was just, he was really, really bad wasn't he? He was like really bad. But in spite of all that we saw three really good goals Dave. I mean you just mentioned the Dominic Albert Llewman one. You know as Peds said, wins your back, own on and plays a quick early ball. So a Wobby, a Wobby gives it to Dominic, that great face touching finish and then the second goal where 10 Everton players touch it. I think his only garner, he doesn't touch the ball. The whole move, fantastic in your lines and putting a flag up, a rogue flag when Andy Gordon was clearly outside. And then you see the third goal but three really good goals. They were all really, really well crafted and I think the other thing as well is that in addition to taking those chances early but also the other thing is that how many times have we been one nil up against a side? And we've all felt we've had the chances and we've not taken them and then we go on to regret it when they equalise or sometimes go and beat us to one or something like that. And actually this was just a great example of taking your chances, taking them early, getting those points on the board and they were fully deserving of their three nil win. I mean completely. I think it could have been five or six if we'd got earlier goals in the first half. And also incidentally, that's not to say that Palace had a shocker. I mean they weren't at their best, granted, and Vieira said that in the post match, but it wasn't like they were awful either. And I think that the scoreline and the result is far more to do with how well Everton played and how well Everton inverted their chances as opposed to how poor Palace were, which is sometimes what we said before. Yeah, I don't think they were, I'll be honest, for the home games this season. I don't think anyone's been being particularly good. I don't think anyone's blown us away to defeat Man United and Chelsea. I don't think. We should have got some more goals. We should have got some more of them. When you go back to the Fox game, did we add energy? Did we add energy like we had on Saturday? Oh, to be in privacy. We would have destroyed them. We'd have ran by's. Yeah, it doesn't. You know, there's been lots of times when the opposition have come and the frustration is that you're not putting two or three past them. You're not. You're not doing what you see is when you've got that much control over a game of football. So what did you make Dave of the second goal? Because again, you will have been watching it on TV. You know, what did you make of like the Lions on the flag going up? Because obviously where I am the ground, I have to trust that moment because obviously, Baz has a slightly different view from me. Be, but what was it like watching it for you? I watched it live and as soon as the flag went up, we just thought he was never off. yna'r ffordd ymay ni'n ysgol oherwydd mae'r cyfrifiadau rydym yn y lle gael yr amser ond bydd yna e'r cyfrifiadau amdano agon ymlaen, a yna gael yn allan gael. Ond mae'n fawr bod o'r sian dros. Comed yn relaf? Ond mae'n gwybod ydw chi'n mynd i ddweud y gallu mynd yn yr uned o'r mawr cyfwisio arno a i fynd yn y pryd gan baeth hwnnw i fynd arall oherwydd mae'r llyn o'r rhan yn ddaeth rwyf ddechrel yn amlwysion ychydig yn ffordd i ddim yn wych i'r llai'r llyfodol yn dwyfodol. Rydyn ni'n credu sy'n rai'n hyn, a chdi ddatblygu'r Cymru y sydd wedi cyfathio â'r Rhaniaeth Gweithgheiddi. Fyddaf ni'n gwneud ymddangos i ddweud i'r Rhaniaeth Gweithgheiddi cysylltu pan oedd yn dweud i ddych chi'n gwybrol hynny o'r dyfodol yn rhaniaeth. Ac byddai gweithio gilydd yn y rhan gael gwybod â'r gwneud O ffaint, byddai gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio gweithio, ac mae'n fwy fyddi'n clywed oed Mae'u gweithio gweithio'n gwneud oedlliannol ei hyn oedd, ac mae gennym adgen nhw, bethれwch i ni i gyd, mae'n gweithio eich gweld Felly, we add them this lad with Charleston against Arsenal, couple last season various moments where you were waiting I remember Delhi, Adliez and Boy for spears how long we waited for that one at that time but I don't remember being giving one and waiting for it The last one was obviously Connor Cody's in the Derby which went against us and we waited ages for that one but it was... Mae gadw'r gael y rastfyd wedi cael y gwaith, dwi'n rhaid i fynd i'w ddim yn dros, ac mae'n gweithio'n gwych i ddweud. Fyddwn i fynd i wneud am y lluniau, mae'n ddod i dyfu'r gweithio, mae'n ddod i ddamio i gael ymgyrch, mae'r gweithio'n gweithio'n ddod i ddim yn gweithio i'n gweithio. Felly rydym yn gweithio oherwydd daethwn i'r gweithio. Felly fynd i ddod i'r gweithio i ddod i ddim yn gweithio. Ond bym nid, mae'n rhaid oedd yw, yn ymwyng. Ond yn oed. Ac rwy'n amlwg oedd yn Lampard. Mae'r Lampard rydian yn Lampard yna. Mae'n golygu. Mae'n ddwng, maeth. Felly, mae'n gwneud. Mae'n golygu. A gynnydd i'n ffyd, ond y cas a'r iawn aerol reitem. Ond gan wedi dod, mae'n gwneud ar y momentau. Yn ymlaen y gallu fflaid ariol oherwydd mae'n gafael y golygu. Mae'n goson oherwydd y golygu. Y fan ni'n gŵr dy'r bod ysgwrdd di dygon a'n gŵr yn sech. Check di, a'n hynny'n fyddai'n offside. Fi ei ar bod e'n gŵr yn yr offside. But we would have never, if we'd never put a flag up, we'd have never known about that. The goal would have been given. No, we would have never known there was even a question mark about it. The only thing I thought when I watched it again was, I think Gordon was like, he got wandered into an offside position, ailed in. Then he came back then. Yeah, yeah, and I just think, but I just think it's that way we are now. Are we looking for these moments now that a player has nothing to do with the offside? I just can't wait for this new system to come in. I really can't, the system they're using the Champions League at the moment because it's just that stuff is what, it's turning people off football. You know, people are getting so annoyed about lots of things in football at the moment. That these little moments are just there and you know, they're turning off. And I don't know, a lot of people might not have seen the Champions League offside stuff yet, but it's going to be used in the Wale Cup. So we're going to see it loads in the Wale Cup and I hope there's a real clamor for it. And then we'll get it in, of course, but it should be coming in this season. The irony being though, that when you think about VAR and the whole rationale behind it, it was all to do with eliminating human error. Yeah, all of these frustrations that we see are all entirely down to human error in terms of the interpretation of the technology or the application of the technology. And whether you can draw a straight line. Yeah, because it does. So I think someone pointed this out for you because you only did, you know, I can't remember what it was, but it was like, there's a guy drawing a line on the pitch. It's like, this isn't a supercomputer, is it? This is a guy drawing and I'm relying on when the ball left the guy's foot and basically just making it up. And as they just said, it's coming down, it's still human error. It's just that there's an application that you can use now. And the minute it's taken off humans, like goal line technologies, and I think we saw that with the Manchester United goal against Chelsea that we gained as well, it was like, I watched that and I thought, that's not over the line, but when you see the technology, and again, I know you'll get conspiracy theories going on, you can make that up. But that shows you, the graph just goes, it's a goal line. And that's it? And no one argue? Yeah, you know what I mean? I went over the line. And you don't have to rely on a human stick? And that's what we want with the off-side, don't we? But there was a few in the game, a few dog challenges, but that's going to take me into the middle bit. Cos you were talking about... Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I was looking for a link. I was looking for a link. We are not starting this middle section in some kind of reference to my dog. This comes out of a story about your son. So let's not... All right, all right. It's hard to say anything. I just want to get you out now, you, the dog. But forget about it. I thought this, I actually thought this, it's about a bigger dog. Oh, yeah, he put her hand, doesn't he? He was pathetic. Yeah, so it's half-timed. So, you know, you do what you do, don't get in the jacks going to his mates and say they'll drop them off on the way. Should have been a straightforward journey, turned into anything but a straightforward journey. Roadworks. What annoys me about roadworks is they start six miles back. Fellas are just chatting. I don't actually see people doing the stuff. I know they obviously do it some states. Anyway, got through all that. And the kid lives in, like, a country lane. Like, at the back of, you know, back in the Liverpool. And the house is just, like, one of these houses that is part of, like, two in the middle of nowhere. So there's no, like... So I'm driving up these country lanes facing temporary lights and the journey's just going, getting longer and longer. And like, no, you think, you know, this'll take me 10 minutes there and then I'm into the studio to do that. I have to point out, by the way, in the thing that made me laugh in this. We've got a WhatsApp group, the four of us, obviously, for planning this. And so at 11.59, we record this at midday, right? I know that's of no relevance, because you watch this whenever. But anyway, a minute before we were supposed to start recording, I sent a WhatsApp because Bush had already said it can't be there, right, for spurious reasons, that we'll pick him up on next time. And then so I sort of said, lads, are we still doing the three of us? And bearing in mind, regular viewers and listeners to this podcast will know that early mornings or indeed mornings as a whole are not head-specialities. And he comes back and he goes, yes, we are, I'm just waiting on Baz. And like, you could just tell the bride in his voice because for once he was there early. He's running down the studio like this with his chest out. Where are you? Yeah, exactly. He gave me the full deal, Ia Smith. No, he didn't say anything, it was the smokiness. I'm not normally like that, you see. But anyway, yeah. But so, yeah, we got on there anyway and I made me way in and I relayed the story to which you come back with why it's easier for you with your dog. Yeah, it's easier to have a dog, but I'll come into that story. I've just got a couple of little things I want to say. Number one, we've been telling you for ages, me and Ned, as almost like a counselling session to get a new car which would have an inbuilt sat-nav in it which would basically show you where the trap. No, no, no, you can't have your phone. No, no. No, you're right. With an inbuilt sat-nav in it where you would know where the road works where. So that's on you for not buying a new car. I'm sorry, that's on you, that's your mistake. And before that, I just want to tell my very quick story of when I was on the cabs as you mentioned country roads, right? Take me home. And then, to the place. So round Liverpool, there are these country roads with weird little farms and horses and stuff. And when I was on the cabs, I got a call one night to one by St. Ellen's and there was this really dark road and I've got this call for this house and I'm going up and down a couple of times and I'm not seeing anybody and I'm like, oh, I'm going to cancel this. And literally, I got a call from the radio, the base going, the down on the left, you've just got to go in a little bit because it's set back from the road and it's a pitch black road. No lights, no nothing. It's like one of those roads that you see going across a motorway in the middle of nowhere. And so I go back, I'm driving down and Dave, honestly, this is everywhere I say is the truth. And as I turn around and come back, I see a ghostly figure in the road ahead of me. And I'm driving down slowly. And as I got closer and the lights came on to the fella, it was a man wearing a dress, dressed as a clown. Hang on, hang on, hang on, let's just analyse this. A man wearing a dress dressed as a clown. As a clown, yeah, a clown face, but with a dress on. Was this October the 31st? Was it around Halloween? It was not, it was not, but I will get to it. And that's why I was... Was it real? Was you a real man? It was a real man, yes? It wasn't a ghost. No, it wasn't a ghost, but that's why. Hang on, hang on, there's different ways you can interpret that. I mean, did you lift his dress up and check? No, what you mean is that actually was he a figure and not was he a real figure. So I honoured being... I seen him in front of me. So I pulled over. As you do. As I do. And I... Were you scared at this point? I was absolutely terrified. And the door opened. And apologies if I offend anyone with the accents I'm going to put on now, but this is what happened. And he opened the door and the fella just went in his best, like, RuPaul contest and went, I am nice! Like that! Nice. He went, I've been with you for ages. And he got in the back and I was like, all right mate, you're all right. And then the next minute, another fella in the dress went, jumped in the back. And he was like, you're all right mate. Went, he was going, he went, so me and Eric are going to St. Helens. And I was just like, oh my, you're fair. And apparently they were doing a door in St. Helens. Yeah. Like, you know, they were doing a drag for drag. And that was the costumes. And one of the fellas I dressed on with Blondet and the other one was a clown. But I've never been so scared in my life. And they were the saddest fellas or whatever they want to be called ever. And some of the conversations, they were unbelievable. Unbel, like never ever repeat the things they were talking about in the back. They were like, they were primed for a channel for special documentary stuff. They were saying to each other honestly. That's all you need to say. It was phenomenal. But it's just the moment my beams hit that clown. That was it. Again, that could be a channel for documentary. It was just one of the scariest moments of my life in that. It sounds a bit. So you got off lucky. I got off light because it was light. It was a message. And this mate was at the gate waiting for him just in the random house. So there you go. That doesn't... I don't even think that story does justice to how dark, scary and... The fact you were driving down those lanes and we've all pitched and driven down those lanes at some stage. And the next minute you see that figure in the middle of a road normally. I used to live on one of those little dark, scary lanes years ago. And this was in the days when I was getting up and doing the radio show. And I had this terrifying... It's funny about when you're on your own and it's quiet and it's dark and your mind plays tricks on you. And, Ped, you will totally testify for this in terms of, you know, you can remember exactly how you felt in that car, on that lane, thinking any minute now is something going to jump out of me. I remember years ago when I was getting up and I used to live in this little cottage and it was one where the door goes straight into the lounge. So there's no hallway, no nothing. And I'm sat there and I'm putting my shoes on and it's about half-four, quarter-five in the morning. I'm about to set off for work. And I can hear this like something sort of rubbing up against the front door. And I'm thinking, it's really strange. What's that? Maybe it's my imagination. And then I can hear something again rubbing up in the front door. It sounds like it's going towards a joke and it's not, I promise you. And so I look out the spyhole and I can't see anything. I suddenly thought it was strange. And then it must be nothing. Anyway, rubbing up against the front door. I then go to open the door, but I put the chain on. And as I open the door, this massive great mouth is like an association, right? Which is through the bit of the chain, just kind of like, I'm like that. Sort of up my waist height, right? And I'm thinking, Jesus Christ, shut the door. So I kind of think, what am I going to do? Because my car was actually parked in our next door neighbours because they were on holiday and I was trying to make it look like they were there. So it's not far, but it's literally next door. So I think, well, how am I going to get out of this situation? Because I've got to get past that massive great dog in the dark. And I'm not the best with dogs, especially massive great Alsatians. So in the end, I kind of decided, I sort of waited until it sort of wandered off a little bit and I thought, right now's my chance. So I went out and we just got our floors done. So I had some old bits of wooden flooring. So I took one of those under my arm in case this thing attacked me, right? That I could either defend myself or I could put it in its mouth in the same way that you would stop a crocodile's mouth from closing, right? And then I also took a packet of ham out of the fridge as well. Because I thought, you know, if I need to, I can feed it. Yeah, I can feed it, right? I can throw the ham and then I can go with my piece of wooden floor, you know? And then get into the car. And I managed to get past this thing. And I kid you not, I went and I put my stuff in the back of the car. And as I looked through the back of the car, I could see the Alsatian on the bonnet, right? With it's like that. I quickly jumped in, shut the thing and then off I drove. And I've never been so scared in my life as that. And literally what happened was, it turns out there was actually quite a sad story because somebody had actually abandoned this dog and had driven it up in the middle of the night up this sort of quiet little lane and basically just sort of tipped it out of a van and just left it there to fenn for itself. So the reason why it was sort of, it was crouching in the doorway was because it was obviously cold and it was hungry and was just wanting to come in. And as opposed to, I was fearful that it wanted to eat me, but it didn't, it just wanted some warmth and some love. And in the end, it went to a good home. So it's a nice story in the end, you see. Nice story. You'd built it up like the harm that a basketball is. Well, tell you what though, at that time in the morning when it's dark, that's how it felt, you know. And I still stand by my wooden floor and have, you know, protection. That's the number one protection. To be fair, you were resourcefully, you thought about the potential dangers and thought, right, what can I do? And you didn't just go route one with the wooden thing, I'll just say that over the air, because I mean, I thought about it. No, no, no, no, no, this was going to be a self-sacr. You're saying that, but if it attacked you, you'd have been punished. Yeah, if it had gone for me, then I would have thought twice. I mean, the easiest thing would have been to just ring in and not do the show and just stay there. What would your excuse have been? Well, because I can't get out of the house because there's a massive man eating. There's a wolf outside my front door and I can't get in. I think that's perfectly legitimate. I mean, that's a better excuse than a train strike or road. That is a good one. That is a good excuse. Dropping your son off, isn't it? No, no, the imaginary friends house. No, L35 on RT, so I can tell you. It was good, though, because you took positive with the ham and negative with the wood. I've just got vision to your son walking round door to door knocking and asking for ham. No, the kid was asking for ham. Yeah, could you abandon them? He was there, then leave them. Okay, then just leave them. Next time you do leave him somewhere remote, make sure that he's got some ham in his rucksack. And wood and wood. That's a fend off the walls. That's a fend off the walls. So, yes, so the moral of the story is what, have a dog. You can ask me your original stuff, whatever you were originally going to ask me now. I will be moved if you've got clowns in the road. I can't remember what the original part of that was. Did it start from IU? It comes from Jordan IU, yeah. I'm going to ask you about me taking my dog to dog school. Yeah, go on, sorry. So just before we started, I'm delaying the story. I'm pet giving it, you know, dogs. This is why dogs. Dogs don't have to be taken and dropped off at a mate. And dogs aren't more of a mother during halftime. Exactly. They're consistent. Dogs don't have halftime. To which you said, my dog did go to school. My dog went. Your dog goes to see Father Christmas and he goes to school. He does go to see Father, well. Santa Claus. Santa Claus, I mean, let's get it right. Fair play. Fair play. Don't be mixing your culture in with mine. Don't be bringing your religion. Santa Claus. That's a very... That's lots and lots of people take their dogs to see Santa Claus. It also has a dressing gown. Yeah, that's a dressing gown. Where does Santa Claus live and don't say St Helen's? It used to be the Irish PCA by Everton's training ground, but he knocked it down and built a load of houses. And there you go. Isn't it fresh? Isn't it on the way to Scotland? No, there's loads of different places there now. Because loads of people. Surely, surely, surely, Ped. And be careful what you say here because I don't want to ruin it for some of our younger listeners and viewers. And dogs. Surely there's only one Santa Claus, so how could there be more? Help us. All help us. They've got four legs and they can get round really, really quickly. So they go down the different venues. Same Santa Claus though. It's the same Santa Claus. They get round quickly, quicker. You should know that. Lots of people take their dogs to see. No, I was just building the fact with Loki that he's got a dressing gown. Why wouldn't he have a dressing gown? He goes out, he gets wet. He comes home. If you come home and get wet, do you want to be dry? I don't put a dressing gown on, but yeah. No, I'm just, I'm not having a, you're taking it personally. I am taking it personally. Why? Because there's a same tone in your voice. That suggests. No, no, no. That suggests. You know that I'm impressed. You just dropped your son off in the middle of nowhere with some kid in a farm. I mean, that's normally where people take, tell people their kids they take their dogs. Let's talk to the farm. Be careful, he's getting really dark now. I'm building his life around showing that he does a lot of things, but he went to school. Yeah, he used to go to school. Can I ask a question back to Santa Claus again? Is it because I now have an image and I wasn't aware of this concept? Yeah. Now, does, do they, do they make it? Or rather, does Santa Claus look a little bit like Santa Claus in so much as it is it essentially a white dog with a white beard? It could be any, it's a, you know, I mean, there's just, it's just a, it's a neutral coloured dog. Because obviously it doesn't, and it does have a beard. Fair play. Do you know what I mean? Fair play. Do you know what I mean? Fair play, fair play. Fair play. Do you know what I mean? I'm just, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, you know, set this up. No, no, no, so go on. So your dog has come through the generations. So fair play again. So Loki's gone, Loki's gone to school. Like why did he go to school? Is it behaviour thing is it? It's to make him, it's to educate him. Why do you send your children to school? You know what I mean? This is, I'm not playing tennis with you. This just, this feels like the North South Divide. No it doesn't. And I am very much in the North. You educate people. You take, you want your dogs to be clever, don't you? Okay. You want your dogs to be... Was he a good, was he a good student? He was, but then he got expelled. Oh, why did he get expelled? I think the woman had just had enough of him. Basically. In terms of what? Was he always acting up? Was he playing, you know, the goat or the dog? Like, you know, he was acting the dog. I think he just run his course. And maybe we hadn't took the subtle hints of getting out my fucking school. He finished weeks ago taking. No, we did. I think we went for about four or five years. Towards about, I think towards the last four and a half years of those five. I bugger off to my mum and dad because it was only around the corner. Oh, okay. And just leave me missing with them. But he lay it low. And he enjoyed it. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed missing. And also, it's a good way of mixing your dog with other dogs. So they're not nachy. So they're not nachy. And humans as well. So they get to meet other humans. And they're nice and friendly and stuff. And that's the best way to do it. If you're going to get a dog, it's first of all taken to a puppy class. So that they get used to dogs and people and all this kind of stuff. And they're not angry. And they don't turn up at your door in the middle of the night. Look on for ham. Look on for ham. And that's how you get them to be nice and chill with them. Because we haven't got long left. But how did the expulsion come about? I think he did something one night. And the woman kicked off on him. And it wasn't a technical expulsion. It was more like... Did you appeal it? I think we could have if we wanted to. But I just couldn't be asked going down there if he tasted any more. So it was a natural conclusion for me. I think it worked in my favour. Because it meant that Denach had gone play for 200 days. Was he your favourite? Oh, he was. I think it worked though. I mean, you've got to remember though. I mean, it is fine going well. You know, he's a dog in that. But there was a lot of little dogs in that class that he'd known for five, six years. A report? That's on shame. A report? A report! A report, Rachleis. So yeah, so you know, we don't know what the outcomes are. He might be really miserable and depressed. Can I ask you this? Would Loki think that this missile was fair? I think he probably would have thought it was as fair as yellow. And maybe, you know, maybe, you know, B.A.R. would have had a look for the second one. But you know, that's fine. Is he in terms of his character? I mean, is he flamboyant or is he low-key? Is that why he's called low-key? He is sort of quite understated. Very understated. He's understated to the point that you know, if he jumped on you, you'd fall over. Well, B.A.R. would fall over, but... Yeah, he's strong. That's why. He's a strong boy. He's a strong boy. He is strong. No, I think he was starting to be intimidated by the strength of him and thought... I think he was just taking over. I think they were worried he was going to start teaching the class. Because he'd been there that long. That's not good though. He probably should have moved on to uni by then. Yeah, he should have been gone to uni by then. See, this is a dog that if he was to rub up against my door in the dark, it would have come through the door. He was hungry like the wolf. Would I be scared to open it? Your chain wouldn't have kept him out. Your door wouldn't have. Really strong. He's just strong. But he's not menacing. He's just strong. No, he's not menacing. He's strong but not menacing. He's like a George Clooney. Is he strong? I think he's stronger than not menacing. He's not menacing. But yeah. I mean, there you go. Low-key Clooney. There you go. Right, finally. Everton have played full-on away this weekend. They even, with our ex-manager, Michael Silver, they are doing very well at the moment, aren't they? A lot better than I thought. Sorry, can I just stop you? I've just been informed by Ned that he takes his lizards to Santa Claus. It's a bearded dragon. Ah, it's nonsense. What a load of nonsense. Pike down, Ned. Yeah, fair play. I do like a Santa Claus pose. Claws pun now. Well, it's a good pun for Ned. It's a very good pun for Ned to be fair. Really good. Shull full-on, Dave. What do you think? Shull full-on. Hang on. Sorry, it's my phone going. Go on. Hang on. Right, go on. What do I think? I think the same as last time in so much as it's all based on how we did on Saturday and having got that foundation and having got to a situation where suddenly and finally things are starting to click, then I feel confident against full-on. It's not going to be easy. No, no. I mean, you know, to use a cliche, there are no easy games. But I think that if we can try and play more consistently the way that we played on Saturday, I think that we shouldn't fear any of these games going forward. So I feel in a positive frame of mind ahead of full-on. And in fact, ahead of the remaining games before the break. You know, there's not many scarily now before we're bloody off until Boxing Day. Absolutely, yeah. I'm happy that the one thing they are doing, they're scoring goals, but they conceding. They scored 22 and conceded 22 in their first. Yeah. I think if you want to use all the stats, they are one of the worst defensive teams. They've given up chances in the Premier League. And it's going to be a tough game and we've not got a great record of full-on over the years. It is going to be tough and obviously Michael Silver will be his first opportunity to play against this moment. So it will be tough and they know they've got goals in them. I think sometimes that can, you know you can score goals. I think obviously that gives you a confidence and you've got mitt of it, who's obviously a big threat this season, who's doing really, really well. And I think that confidence of well, if you score, we can score. I think that that will make it a very interesting game. And I think we can't take this game lightly at all because I think the idea of just keeping them out the way we have been keeping teams out in tight games may not apply to this game. So they've got different goalscores as well. It's not just about mitt of it. So I think we're going to have to be a little bit more expansive then. We will be normally playing away because I just don't think they mind. They've got that confidence that well if you score, we'll score. All the games have involved goals. I mean it played lead at the weekend away, a 3-2 away at lead. You know that's that kind of game. I think the first game of season 2-2 against Liverpool. I think they beat Brentford 3-2. There's so many goals in their games. I don't think they'll be worried if we go ahead or whatever. So I think we've got to, it's going to be a game there. If we can get through it, we could get the three points. I think going into the last two games as Dave said, on paper all three are games that we can win, but you've seen Leicester coming back into a bit of form and obviously Bournemouth having been as bad as everyone's. They're not saying they're not rating off. They're still top half of the table. So it'd be fantastic if we could get three points, but it is going to be a big game. And Mark will have him fired up as well as well because he's got his own personal. He'll want to do well against Evan and he'll have him fired up. It's not going to be easy, but I'm not fearful of it. I think we'll have the opportunity to score a couple of goals and obviously they will and I think sitting back and trying to defend against them might be dangerous because you're inviting too much pressure. You can concede, but we will have opportunities and again for us it's just more of what we've got on Saturday. But you know, let's see what happens. It'll be a tough game when we can win. Right Dave, thank you very much again. You're busy off to do more stuff, but thank you. No, my pleasure as always. I found educational today. Very educational. It was not just entertaining. It was educational. I learnt stuff about Santa Claus. I learnt other things about dog education which I was unaware of. So listen, I get as much out of it as anybody. So thank you very much for having me. Dave, we all leave this podcast with more knowledge than we started. Why is it? And now we know to carry a pack of ham ram with us. Exactly. That's your word. Always have your word. That's what they say. Right, thanks for listening. We'll see you soon. Bye.