 Can we all stop dating and do what I'm about to suggest instead? I hope you can agree with what I'm about to share in a moment, but let's examine dating as we are currently experiencing it in our modern times. Well, let's go back in time for a moment. Let's go back to cave man days cave people days. Excuse me, okay? What kind of dating went around during that period of time? What kind of dating really went around? What was really happening in cave people days? A lot of mating and trying to survive, okay? And as we progress throughout history, let's go back 200,000 years to Neanderthal, and that's the cave people days, and let's fast forward 190,000 years to when civilization started to form a little bit more concrete where we have some data as to what happened in our world. And I would certainly think that 10,000 years ago, there wasn't really dating. There was a lot of mating, making a lot of babies to help support one another through their tribes or the villages they lived in. And this went on for another 9,000 plus years, and let's maybe go back into old England times, you know, maybe 1,000 years ago, maybe the Henry VIII period, about 500 plus years ago. What kind of dating was happening then? Well, for wealthy people, there were arranged marriages. There was the merging of families together. There was no real dating. In fact, that's where the concept of, you know, something I'm about to go into deeper detail began emerge. But for the most part, you mated with the people that lived in your village, that lived in your town. And let's take this right up until about 1950, okay? 1950, things started to change. Now, for the most part, you probably married somebody that lived in the small town you lived in. You probably met someone in your work environment, maybe in the beginning in the 60s, okay? But for the most part, you congregated with people whom you knew and you connected with those people, and those were the people that you married. And dating was a very short-lived experience. In fact, oftentimes dating lasted a few weeks because if two people wanted to have sex, they got married. So if you think about it, dating hasn't been around for 200,000 years, or 10,000 years, or 1,000 years, or really, it's only been around a short period of time. Dating is a relatively new thing. However, it has changed dramatically in the last few years. See, dating used to be a process of getting to know someone with the intent of getting married. That was kind of the purpose of dating. Now, because of our swipe devices, dating has kind of been boiled down to either one of two things seems to happen most frequently in today's environment. People are either hooking up for short-lived experiences, sometimes a one-night stand, sometimes a very short-lived experience. But there's hooking up that occasionally turns into casual relationships or the other byproduct of what swipe dating has emerged to is that you now have a built-in therapist at the other end of the phone. See, we're in an environment of human beings who are thirsty for companionship, connection, and sex. But they are truly broken human beings. We are swimming in a sea of emotional dysfunctionality. And it's not going to get any better, partly because we no longer live in tribes where many of our needs can be met by a group of people instead of the expectation of one person. So now what has happened is a lot of men and women find themselves bonding with another human being through their trauma and they call this dating. They call this dating. So what can we do? And the other aspect of dating, oh, I didn't mention this earlier, you know, a lot of dating is romance-based. You know, in other words, it's all based on how can I remote or romance someone? How can I convince them to like me? So I can feel wanted. I can feel desired. I can feel connected with another human being. And for some reason, and romance seems to be a fast track into, you know, usually which is sparked by limerence or lust. And romance is a quick way to have get someone in bed. Okay, that's what I'm going to say. You know, it's fascinating to me how many women seek to be romanced. And then they're they're shocked when the guy disappears because he used romance to get in your bed into your pants instead of actually truly getting to know you. So what am I going to suggest instead? Well, I wrote this down. I want to read this to you. Well, first off, now that I'm okay, someone just asked me, Jonathan, now that you're single, are you going to begin dating? Are you now that you're single? Are you going to begin dating? And this is what I wrote to this friend. My friends are asking, when will you begin dating? My response is this, I'm done with dating. Dating doesn't work in our current format. It's time to manifest and court. Let me repeat that is time to manifest and court. Manifest is an entirely different energy and courting requires intentionality. Our current dating method often turns into a long drawn out process of friends with benefits. In many cases, endless text message conversations with lonely people seeking connection connection with unrealistic ego expectations. I have to read that again. Okay. Our current dating method often turns into a long drawn out process of friends with benefits in many cases or endless text conversations with lonely people seeking connection with unrealistic ego expectations. Manifesting and courting requires removing all the blocks to love and shifting to a space of being totally open to give and receive. It includes being happy in your own skin and not needing love from another for fulfillment. Let me read that again. It includes being happy in your own skin and not needing love from another for fulfillment. Manifesting and courting is a more grown up way to approach the process and that's what I'm all about. First off, can any of you relate to this? Do you relate to the idea of manifesting and courting? Okay. We're going to talk about, we're going to get into the nuance of that in a little bit more detail in a moment. But if you agree with manifest and courting, hit that thumbs up button or say amen in the comment section. I'd really appreciate that. Manifesting. You see, dating, our current dating method is a very, it's like, okay, I used to be in sales folks. It is like cold calling. These are cold leads. Our current, okay, this dating site, okay, the hinge, bumble, the league, all these dating sites, okay, bumble. I haven't activated mine. And I'm going to talk about dating sites in a moment as well. But they're just all cold prospects. They're cold. They are strangers. And the problem with meeting strangers is you have to do so much due diligence, so much due diligence with somebody who you know, because you know very little about them and we operate, we humans are rather stupid people. We believe chemistry equals relationship success. I believed it. I believe that when you have chemistry with someone, it's going to magically work out because chemistry always magically works out. And the more heightened the butterflies in the stomach, the more in love you are with a person. This is our current dating process. Manifesting and courting is a little bit different. I want to dive into that in a moment. But I'm not, I'm here to, like folks, I'm not completely dissing the online dating methodology. The fact of the matter is I would bet in the next five years over 75% of all new relationships will happen through an online connection. I'm going to bet that that's probably 65 to 75% of all new relationships for the younger generation on up to the golden bachelor generation and golden bachelorette. So we can't discount what is currently working. It's just a laborious painstaking way because a lot of wounded people are using dating sites for quick fulfillment, quick connection or therapy. So it impahoos you to really become your own detective, to become your own matchmaker. And if you need some help and support with that, check out the link right here to schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. By the way, there's a link below to schedule this call. My area of expertise is teaching a critical skill called discernment. This is all part of the courting process to court someone and to manifest someone. You have to operate completely like everything we've learned about relationships to this date is wrong. You know, if you are going to buy a house, you would hire an inspector to go through the house to the nail. You know, that's what you do if you're going to buy a house. Okay, a big fucking investment. Oh, please forgive the upward. But when it comes to relationships, people will drop their pants just because they say, I like you. They'll drop your pants because I think, oh, my God, you're gorgeous. Oh, my God, you're so amazing. Oh, my God, you're unlike any person I've ever seen. Oh, my God, I can see us going on trips together. I can see us getting married together. This is the first date, by the way. And then you're like, the guy has sex with you and you're like, what? He's gone. He ghosted. He disappeared. He disappeared. See, we'll hire an inspector to make a big gigantic investment. But the most important investment you'll ever make in your life is your relationships. And it's fascinating to me how we humans will do little or no due diligence. And I'm here to offer an alternate way of doing things. So manifesting, what is manifesting? Manifesting, here's my notes, means clarifying who is compatible with you and holding that vision, getting really crystal clear on who is compatible with you and holding that vision. And courting is an intentional approach of radical honesty, laying your cards on the table, and the rules of engagement, the rules of engagement, in other words, having clear, if two people like each other and they want to have sex together, okay? If two people like each other and want to have sex together, before the penis ever goes inside the vagina, it is time to have a radically honest conversation with someone, get clarity on their past experiences and establish the standards or the rules of engagement, as I call it, to have clarity before you embark on the more potent chemical bandwagon of oxytocin. Once oxytocin is released in your body, you're hooked to a person, whether you like it or not. And so I'm here to advocate manifestation and courting as an alternate way. And by the way, folks, this is the man courting you and you ladies courting the man. It is a mutual intentional process of getting to know one another without the clouded version of romance that makes people do really stupid, romance and alcohol. Romance and alcohol makes human beings do some really stupid things. So coming back to clarity, you know, I have a new client who has heard me say this on videos, but I got to tell you, I mean, women come to me all the time, Jonathan, I know what I want, I know what I want, I know what I want in relationship. And they go through this proprietary coaching program I created. And can you guess what they say every single time afterwards? Wow. I wish my parents taught me this. I wished I learned this before I married the wrong guy. I mean, you made me think, folks, many of you have a nebulous idea of who is compatible with you. It is all up in the clouds. It's in the fantasy realm. It's this tiny little vision without any clarity. It's like buying the house and going, oh, it's pretty outside. I'm going to buy it. Okay. Clarity on compatibility is knowing, you know, should you have the washer dryer downstairs, you know, if it's a two-story building, should the garage be in the back of the house or the front of the house? You know, is the kitchen supposed to be here? Like knowing all this stuff gives, allows you to navigate a relationship with a lot more ease when you have clarity on who's compatible with you. And courting is really, it's first off, listen, we're swimming in a sea of dysfunctionality. We have to gauge someone's emotional maturity as quickly as possible. If you're not familiar with my chart on emotional maturity relationship skills, please forgive the glare. Look at, this is not a fact. This is merely an opinion. Well, 20% of our population has real clinical issues. They are almost, I mean, many of them are almost incapable of being in a relationship. And while I say 20% is healthy, and I'm being really generous when I say 20%, what's that middle word folks? What's that word? Emotional maturity relationship skills dysfunctional. See, listen, I'm no picnic here. I am not professing myself as being a cut above anyone else. I have my own issues. I just happen to be introspective enough to know where I have, I'm going to use the word failings, but I don't like the word failings, but I'm aware of my shortcomings. Let's just put it that way. Okay. And I'm very upfront with someone because radical honesty means being vulnerable, being authentic and being transparent. Okay. Laying your cards on the table. Look, someone's past experiences gives you insight into how they might operate in the future. If you were going to hire someone for a job, you'd want to know their past experiences. If you were going to hire a handyman, you'd want to get references. We have to do our due diligence. That's why we have to lay our cards on the table. And then the rules of engagement, look, I can't tell you how many women come to me for private coaching. And you guys are like, like, I mean, you're like deer in the headlights. You have no idea what you want. You just, I just want to, I just want to feel loved. Well, it's more than that. A relationship is a living being. If you need some support with that. Listen, I highly recommend reading the book eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman. These are eight significant conversations you want to have with someone to get a sense of who they are. All the books I recommend are in the Jonathan recommend books below. Oh, and by the way, before I forget, there's my book, what the heck a self love anyway, a journey of personal development, self open spiritual work, check out the link below self love the book.com. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Do you recognize that dating the current method of dating isn't working? It isn't working because there are a lot of unhappy, miserable people. I'm here to encourage manifesting manifesting. And more importantly, courting manifesting is clarity on who's compatible with you and hold that vision for it. And courting is an attentional approach using radical honesty, laying your cards on the table and establishing the rules of engagement sooner rather than later. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. If you found value in this, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit the notification bell so you can be notified of new videos as well. All right, those who know my format, it's time for our Q&A. If you have questions, write the word question in the little chat box and then post the question thereafter. Or you can purchase a super sticker, super chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. And if you're watching the replay, you can hit a super thanks. All the monies from the super sticker, super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. He's my son who passed away five years ago. And in his honor, we donate to causes like the Hoffman Process and Insight Institute, just to name a few. So let's try to collect $50 tonight for the Connor Asley scholarship fund. I mean, we've already collected several $100 in the last few weeks. So I'm really excited. So let's see if we can collect $50 tonight. Hit that dollar sign to donate as well. Okay, Leafs is in the house. To a degree, Jonathan, I stand by my comment a few up. Exercise caution, telling more than necessary and ensure both talk. Toxic people love info to manipulate. Do the work and be healed first. So here, I made a note once. Look at folks. I scribble notes all the time. Okay. There's some notes I have. Relationship readiness. Okay, four stages of relationship readiness. Stage number one, being your best self. This means physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, okay, which require personal development, self-help, spiritual work or therapy, being your best self. That's stage number one. Stage number two, that's where I come in as a coach. Okay. Check out the link below. Clarifying on the type of relationship, how to vet the law, manifestation, the law of attraction, that's where I come in. Okay. Teaching you how to gauge his emotional maturity. Number three, how to meet men, attraction and flirting skills. Folks, we have to be flirty. You know, I mean, if you don't know how to flirt with someone, it's kind of boring. It's boring to go out with someone who doesn't know how to flirt. It's little things. By the way, there's a gazillion videos on flirting techniques. You could go on and check out those videos. And last but not least, and this is where most humans are terrible at, how to maintain and make a relationship thrive. If you're not familiar with the book, the seven principles of making marriage work. Scratch out the word marriage and change the word relationship. Okay. Like John Gottman. If you don't know how to make a relationship thrive, then you're, you know, all this work was for not. By the way, there's another book. This is by Calvin Robertson. He's the coach or therapist on Married at First Sight. He wrote a book called Marriage Ain't for Punks. Scratch out the word marriage and change it to relationships if need be. But folks, we got to learn how to make a relationship work. Folks, if you were going to build a house, you'd get a blueprint. Well, if you're going to be in relationship and build a relationship, you need a blueprint and stop being naive. If you're listening to me, then it's, then you, but then you have no one but to blame yourself if things don't work out. Is this sinking in? By the way, I want to give props to Brenda for the $20 super sticker. Thank you so much. We're $30 away from our goal of $50 tonight. Thank you so much, Brenda. I'm really appreciative of that. Thank you so much. All right. Let's keep going. Malia has a question. By the way, if I butcher your name, folks, I'm terrible at names. Oh my God, I'm terrible at names. Isn't it a skill for two people to live together even in marriage and make a success of it? You know what? That's a great question. You know, one thing I appreciate about the relationship I had with Marie, I mean, I'm sad it didn't work out. I want to make a comment about that as well. But you know what? We were good roommates with each other. We were very grown up on how we lived together. We knew another couple. I knew a couple other couples, but there was one in particular. They were terrible roommates with each other. They were nitpicky about doing chores together. They were nitpicky about the finances. They were nitpicky. It was mostly the guy who was nitpicky. But when you live with someone, you have to learn to be good roommates with someone. You have to be good, learn to be good partners. And that means, listen, for those of us who are empty nesters, relationships, well, if you have children at home, it's a whole different dynamic. If you're an empty nester, it's a different dynamic. But learning how to live with someone is, let me tell you something. I don't know how many couples have been together one, two, three or four or five years, and then they finally move in together and it implodes right away because they're not good roommates with one another. See, earlier I said dating these days is just a long drawn out version of friends with benefits. I really learned something in this relationship with Marie. We moved in together five months after meeting. Some people might think that was too early, but we had a long distance dynamic. And the only way we basically agreed if this was going to work, we'd have to be in the same city and we might as well move in together. We rolled the dice. We rolled the dice. We figured there was enough, we felt that each one of us was an emotional grown up enough to be in this relationship. And I would say for the first six months, things were great. I mean, they really were great. In fact, I even introduced her to the channel because I felt so strongly about the relationship. However, she wasn't happy living here. But that didn't change our environment of being good roommates with each other. And what I use, I use the term roommates, I mean, we're in relationship, but it's being able to work well together with another human being. That's a skill in and of itself. You have to be a bit selfless to be able to do that. And while the relationship didn't work out, I'm going to tell you something, you know, it's interesting. We don't communicate much anymore. I mean, a little bit here or there. You know, I think of it, but she's still, I consider her a friend, but, you know, like, I don't talk to, I have lots of friends in my life. Sometimes I go weeks or months not speaking to them. I don't feel this desperate need to speak to her. She doesn't feel a desperate need to speak to me. I think when people end a relationship and they have this desperate need to stay connected, it's because they had unhealthy love. When you have healthy love and it doesn't work out when you love yourself, when you love yourself, you know, it's okay. Like that's the real hangup. So I'm okay. She's okay. We can be friends with one another. We don't have to talk to one another. It's only people that don't love themselves. I know I'm going off on a tangent. When they don't love themselves, they have a need to stay connected with someone that's in their past relationships. And this can be somebody you met a couple of days ago too. We are swimming in a sea of emotional dysfunctionality. Okay. I went off on a long tangent there. So thanks. Elias also follow up says, should couples tell each other everything? You know, I'm not, I think if it's material to the relationship, absolutely. If something's material to the relationship, like for example, you live together, or like you let's say you're dating and you're about to take a job to another state, I think that's material to the relationship. You should tell it. You have an STD. I think that's a material to the relationship. I think you should tell someone. Okay. You have to tell all the people you've slept with in your life, probably not. You don't have to tell everything. You know, but I think if it's important and it's material, then yes, you should talk about it. I'm a big, does anyone agree with that? If it's material to the relationship, should it be discussed? What are your thoughts on that? Post a comment. All right. Joyce is in the house. Why do men, even 65 year old, think it's okay to have women friends and think it's okay to have a sexual relationship with me? It's supposed to be okay. This is sickening. Well, Joyce, if you were to date me, you would have to accept several of my dear friends were women. Now, I know you don't want to date me, so I'm just using that example. Let's face it. A friend is a friend. What is wrong with having opposite sex friends? I think it's healthy to have opposite sex friends. Okay. Now, if they want to have sex with their opposite sex friends, I don't think that's healthy. I think if they go on vacations together and they mess around together, I don't think that's healthy. If they share, if he shares, this is where it gets tricky. When you're in an intimate relationship with someone, we do rely on our friends for support. But I also think there are some things that need to be kept private within the relationship. So I think you should establish what's private, not to be shared with these friends. But I'm here to say, you know what, I'm a man who has female friends. Okay. One dear friend of mine is Tammy. I would say she's my, she's one of my dearest friends in my life. She and I have been through a lot. She's been through the loss of my son. I've been through a lot of emotional stuff with her. I wouldn't discard her because I'm in relationship with someone new. That's my opinion. Okay. Now, again, I think it's okay to have sex with your partner. But I also believe if you have a female friend, then that female friend should be introduced to the person in your life. When I was with Marie, she met Tammy and I met her oldest and dearest friend, Louis, or Willie, excuse me. So I'm all in favor of it. But that's just, you know, that's my opinion since you asked the question. All right. Angela just gave us a $1.99 super sticker. So we have $22 right now. We're $28 away of hitting our goal. And Joyce, if you want to find it's the little dollar sign in the chat box. Okay. Let's keep going here. Sharon says, Jonathan, I have male friends. Way to go, Sharon. Love it. Jennifer says, when Harry met Sally, the whole joke was can women and men be friends without sex? You know, when that movie came out, I believe 1985, hey, Google, when did the movie Harry Met Sally come out? I think it was 1985. Oh, 1989. Boy, I was wrong. Wow. Okay. I think that was a different time. I think today we have, I think we men now feel more comfortable having female friends. I think in many cases, especially divorce men, we can, our female friends are people that we've relied on emotionally. I think the world has changed. And it doesn't mean you want to have sex with them. But you know, the movie Harry Met Sally has some truth to it. And then he said, men and women can't be friends because you want to have sex with them. I think an evolved person, a lower chakra human being only thinks with his penis probably can't be friends with women because he's thinking with his dick. But I believe there are a lot of men who have evolved from that. That's just my opinion anyway. All right, let's keep going. Let's keep going. Do you have a question? Write the word question then post the question there after. Let's see. Angela says amen. Thank you. If you have a question, write the word question. Oh, Lisa says, now I only want to meet guys organically. I love that, Lisa. I'm a big proponent. Okay, so tonight I'm going to a book signing ceremony. So you know what? I had a habit, especially after COVID, of just hibernating. So this past weekend, I went to a psychics and healers art fair, you know, crystals and tarot card readings and stuff like that. And I ran into a woman and we just connected and talked a little bit. It was somebody I knew it was a friend. I mean, when I say friend and acquaintance, I went to a healing ceremony on Sunday. A friend of mine has cancer. Actually, you know, I shouldn't say it publicly yet, but so we did a healing ceremony for her. Tonight I'm going to the book fair and it's a schlep. I'm going to have to drive 45 minutes in traffic. Not excited about that. But I'm getting my butt out there. I'm going to Alison Armstrong's workshop. Folks, if you're not familiar with the work of Alison Armstrong, highly recommend checking out the Queens code. Go to our website. Alison Armstrong wrote the queen. See her name right there. Alison Armstrong. Okay. Check out this book, the link below. She's got workshops all the time. I'm going to an Abraham Hicks workshop in January. I might go to both the one in LA and Long Beach. Find places to go out and meet people. Go to a yacht club. I have friends that belong to a yacht club. Literally walking distance from me. Country clubs. You know, go hang out in the bar if you can. Go to high end hotels and hang out in the bar. But this is, these are just some of the things I plan on doing and I invite everyone else to do it as well. Hey, we just got, Joyce just gave us a $10 super sticker. Okay. I think that brings us up to $22.32. Now we need $18 to get to our $50 goal. Thank you, Joyce, for the love. We really appreciate that. Kathy McFadden says the friend I had obviously claimed I was more than friends, but didn't understand that. Yeah, I mean, look at, we're swimming. Look at, people are desperate for connection. Desperate for physical connection. You know, and the shit that will come out of our guys, of us guys' mouths when, listen, you know, folks, I think back to, I wasn't a real player, but I kind of did player. And the shit that came out of my mouth, I mean, I would say stuff to women. It amazes me how naive women are. I mean, simply naive. But you guys will, the minute some guy is nice to you, it's, it's amazed me how alcohol and a little bit of flattery, how easy women will, you know, submit to a guy. Folks, when you're meeting a total stranger, the last thing you should do is drink alcohol and find yourself in a circumstance where you could be physically intimate with them. Anyway, I'm just babbling here for a moment. And speaking of which, bars are rough, Joyce, I like to drink. I wish it was that easy. Okay, going to a high-end bar, but keep, be very mindful of alcohol. Okay, that can be, that could be dangerous. Okay, but you do meet people at high-end restaurants and bars. Okay. Okay. Oh, speaking of, wait, wait, Mara says, I don't even know where to start on this dating thing. Only 20% of people are ready. You know, it's interesting. It's not about readiness. It's capable. Okay. I think it's only 20% of people are really capable of being in a healthy relationship. Now someone asked me, Jonathan, are you, I said earlier, are you ready to date? But someone said, are you ready for a relationship now that your relationship with Marie has ended? And you know, it was a client who asked me that. And you know what I said? I said, I was ready for commitment before I met Marie. I have been ready for a commitment for a number of years. I have been ready for commitment because number one, I am very crystal clear. I would like to either live with someone, get married, whether it's a spiritual marriage or a legal marriage. I want a life partner. I am very crystal clear on that. So then the question then becomes, are am I over Marie? Now some people think because I mentioned her on videos, I'm not over her. Folks, I use my life as a backdrop. Okay. You guys, I have to tell you, some of you folks will make so many judgments and so many speculations, you know, without any basis of fact, other than a little bit of conjecture I've shared out in the, you know, the YouTube universe. Okay. But I'm being really honest and self, being very reflective and introspective. Do I want to start a relationship day after tomorrow? I don't think so. But if someone special came in my life, I will be very upfront. I will be vulnerable. I'll be authentic. I'll be transparent. I'll lay my cards on the table and I'll be very clear on the standard I'm looking for a relationship. I'm looking for a relationship where we spend on average three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills, both on our personal, our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together, getting married. I want to be able to declare something serious within 90 days or 180 days of first meeting. These are the standards I have for myself. I also am going to be very clear. I would like to do, I would like to do couples workshops or even therapy as a prerequisite for building, again, I want knowing what I know about what makes relationships go wrong. I want to head them off at the pass. Marie and I delved into it a little bit. I just realized we were on two different life trajectories after about six, seven months living together. We realized it took us that much time to realize we were on two different paths. We were kind of on the same path, but really we were on two different paths. And that's what you learn when you spend significant time with someone. It doesn't make it wrong. It's okay. Anyway, that's just my two cents on that. By the way, I want to thank Joyce for the $20 super stick. Okay, we hit our $50 tonight. Let's shoot for $100 tonight. $100. We need another $548 to get to our $100 goal. Thank you, Joyce. That was very nice of you. Lisa, do you think a lot of singles give up too easily on someone? I give three strikes, but I meet plenty of men who don't give me a second chance. It's frustrating. Yeah, unfortunately, we are a very disposable, because we have this false sense, there's this great video on a TED Talk called the paradox of choice. By the way, can someone write this in the chat box? Paradox of choice. It's TED Talk, paradox of choice. See, we have a false sense of choice from our dating apps. There's this false sense of abundance. It's a false sense of abundance. So yes, Lisa, I do believe it happens too frequently. We don't spend enough time really getting to know someone right here at the heart level. And women are just as guilty of this as men. Men and women are equally guilty of not because we have this quick, we have to get things done quickly kind of mentality. And it's rightfully so because you don't want to waste time with the wrong person. But you know what? Know this, Lisa. The right person wants a second date with you. Okay? Know that. And Joyce, thank you so much. I made it for $30 total for you. Thanks. I've been wanting to send money for a couple months to you. Thank you so much. We are going to be donating to Insight seminars on Conner's behalf anyway. All right. I'm doing the self-work. This season is hard. Going out on my own is becoming harder as the years passed. I'm taking therapy to address the pain. Lynette, there is no question there. But thank you for sharing that. We send you a big gigantic hug. Oh, so the question you had is how do you press on? You know, first know your why. Someone write this down. Know your why. W-H-Y, right? W-H-Y. Know your why. Why do I want a relationship? Okay. Let me be clear. Here's a couple of reasons. I want a relationship because I want to, for lack of a better word, grow old with someone. I want a relationship because I don't like, I like sleeping with someone in the same bed. I like company around the house. These are some of my whys. I like to feel desired. I like to feel appreciated. I like to feel respected. I like feeling adored. I like feeling inspired. These are some of the other reasons why I want a relationship. I like giving. I like being a giver. I really get off on giving in all different ways and shapes and form. I like sex. Oh my God. I love sex. I mean, if I had my choice, I would have sex three times a day. Jonathan, you're a pretty horny guy. Well, I probably can't do it that much, but I love sex. It's another reason. So know your why. See, when you know your why, that helps you press on just like an Olympic athlete that wants to win the gold. They do these exercises over and over and over, and they sprain their ankles, and they sprain their wrists, and they break their legs, but they get up every day because their why is so, it's the carrot that drives them. If you don't have a solid why, then yeah, you're going to feel frustrated. I get it, Lynette. So thank you for sharing. Francie wants to remind everyone the paradox of choice, a TED Talk, exactly. A few others. One of our Facebook group members, by the way, if you'd like to have personal access to me on a regular basis, check out the second link to my group called Midlife Love Mastery. This is one of our Facebook members. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis. I host a once a month call. You can get on the phone and talk to me call. We have a Facebook group. There's videos that are posted for the members there. So check out Midlife Love Mastery in the link below. All right, let's keep going. Okay, Lisa, know your why. She's sharing that with everyone. So does Francie. I'm butchering your name. And our Facebook group member, thank you so much. Okay, Jade is in the house. On the topic of men saying and doing things with women that they don't really mean, that women easily fall for. Don't men feel bad about this? Are good men incapable of leading women? Are good men incapable of leading men on? See, I'm a good guy, I think, but I can be myopic or I have been myopic. Let me go in the past tense. See, a good person can still be selfish. It's very natural. Think about it as a child. When you're a baby, you've got this group, you've got these two human beings who are going to nurture you and give you so much. I mean, to think about it, a baby gets all this love and doesn't have to do anything for it. So as adults, sometimes we can be myopic. Sometimes we can be self-centric. Sometimes we can be selfish. And we can say things because we're lying to ourselves. It doesn't make us bad people. It just makes us human. Why do some women fall for narcissists and others don't? I always wonder about that. Why do some women fall for narcissists and others don't? There's a lot of women that don't fall for narcissists. I think when you genuinely really value yourself and you are in your sovereignty, your self-love, your self-worth and self-esteem, you can spot bullshit a mile away. I think when we're in a place of fear, we are susceptible to being used. Not intentionally used. It's just that's what it feels like when someone isn't being honest with themselves. They unfortunately use people. Anyway, that's just my two cents on that one. Babbling says, I want or bad or double whatever it is. I want to be adored. Me too. I love being adored. Kathy wants to remind everyone, use a prayer. Let's do a prayer for everyone right now. God, universe, spirit. Gus, I am so grateful and so blessed for all the many abundances in my life. And I invite in romantic love in my life, a life partner, where we have amazing chemistry with one another. And the passion and physical intimacy is off the charts. That would be so awesome. And the communication between us. We can chat and banter all night long as two dear friends talking with one another. And we're genuinely curious about each other from that sense of communication. And our lifestyles are compatible with one another. And we can blend our lives together. And we have the emotional maturity because we share the same values we believe in being vulnerable, being authentic and transparent. And lastly, we have built the deep roots of trust to support an everlasting, loving relationship. God, universe, spirit, I invite that in. I invite that in for all of you as well. I invited in for myself and I invited in for you to manifest and court as we talk because we want to stop dating. And we want to do this in set instead. Are you with me? I hope you are. Lisa says, I don't want to die alone. Well, let me tell you something. The first person that dies in a marriage, the second person does die alone. We better have other people in our lives. Okay. So the first person that gets to die gets off easier, I think. Well, depends on their age. Okay. Mara says, how do you not get burnt out on dating and keeping energy to carry on? Selective dating. Selective communication. This is what I teach in my private coaching. Selective dating. By the way, schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you below. There's a link below. Yeah. Selective dating. Selective. Very selective on who you communicate with. And I can teach you that. Okay. That's the answer. Intentional dating. Wean, what about you meet a woman don't like sex, but she is wonderful in everything? Oh, God. That would be bummed. I'm still too young to give up on sex. Okay. Maybe when I'm 75, but I'm still too young for that. I know you weren't asking me, but you know, I mean, I guess the question is I'd have to have the balls to have a real serious conversation with her. You know, I mean, I'd have to, if she's that wonderful, then we'd have a conversation and we'd talk about it. If sex isn't her jam, then we're probably a mismatch. That's, I mean, how does it, by the way, how did folks, how does that, how do you react to what I just said? How does that, how does that land for you? I'd like to know. Okay. Oh, Leah says I'm with a guy, he has cats that sleep on the bed. I can't sleep with a cat on the bed. What do I do? He won't get rid of the cat. Yeah, that's a tough one. You know, people are very attached to their animals. Have you said sincerely, because it's kind of sad that he would choose a cat over you. Okay. What does that, okay, I mean, what does that say about him? Now, if you're brand new to dating, I can understand that, but if you guys, if the penis is going inside the vagina, you have every right to ask, ask for your needs to be met. Okay. If that is something important to you, and if you're important to him, then that should matter to him. So the question is, how much trust do you have between the two of you? And trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, does this person care about my needs? Are my needs in his best, is my best interest in his best interest in vice versa? If you've had a conversation with him and he dismisses you, that gives you, that tells you a lot about how much he values you as a person. And that's, I'm not asking, but I wouldn't say get rid of the cat, but make a simple request that the cat not sleep on the bed. But then I have to ask you, is that a big deal? Is that really a big deal? Like, would I care if a cat slept on a bed? Probably not. Just on your side of the bed, you know, but I probably, the question then becomes, why does it matter to you? That, I mean, these are the things I would be, I'd first explore, first go inward. Why does it matter to you so much? Is there some, is there something in your ego that's causing you this, this, you know, this division, if you will? And then I would bring it up to Emily. Okay. So that's my two cents on that one. All right. Tina, tiny project says we adore you, Jonathan. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Lisa says great prayer. Thank you so much. Sex is amazing with the right person. Yeah, it is, it is. Let's keep going here. Let's keep going here. Hey, you know what? I'm heading off to the book signing today. So I think this would be a great place to wrap up today. Folks, did you find value in this? If you did, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel, hit that notification bell. If you've got something to share and you're watching the replay, post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Like to, you know, and if there's anything you ask of me, I do my best to read all the comments. I really do. So feel free to ask and I'm going to do my best to respond. All right, folks, I'm going to wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan Barrog of self love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I want to thank Sherry and Tiffany and Sharon and Anna and April and Deborah and babbling and Lisa and Sharon and Lynette and T Davis and Alice and Kathy and Jennifer and Gretchen, Deborah, Jade, Lori, folks, thanks so much. Have a fat evening. Be well. Do something fun tonight. Go to a book signing.