 Father Christmas, St. Nicholas, Chris Kringle, Odin Allfather, Sinterklaus. What if I told you that everything you know about Santa Claus is wrong? Santa Claus is the personification of gift-giving around Christmas, and Santa Claus is universally considered to be a great hero, wonderful person, and all-around nice guy. But if you ever stop to really think, his elves work at the North Pole in some of the worst conditions possible. Could you imagine for even a moment trying to work in sub-zero temperatures? These elves work 365 days a year to provide toys that he just gives away, doesn't sell, because if he sold them he could actually pay his elves. He forces them to work without pay all year, 24-7 365 days a year. How is that in any way fair? And you know why you don't hear about a union of elves at the North Pole? That's because if there was a union they could actually negotiate decent wages and a reasonable work schedule, not have to rush everything around Christmas time. And what else? Well, Santa Claus has a collection of reindeer, nine of them in fact, that are capable of human speech, have personalities of their own, lives of their own, and he forces them every year to travel the entire world without rest, without sleep. They just have to go from North America to Europe to Asia to Australia to Africa and back to South America and North America again and over and over and over again until the entirety of the world is served by Santa Claus. He doesn't care about his elves, he doesn't care about his reindeer, which are by the way a protected species. They are extinct in the lower 48 states for a reason, but Santa Claus does not care. Santa Claus uses people and uses his reindeer to get what he wants. And what does Santa Claus want? Santa Claus wants universal worldwide adulation. He wants to be worshipped as a modern saint. And no one ever thinks about the fact that people other than Santa Claus have to work very, very hard for him to do his job. And it's not like Santa Claus himself is doing anything to help promote the people around him. When's the last time you thought, what is Mrs. Claus's first name? You don't know, do you? No one knows. Because he doesn't care about that sort of thing. All he cares about is that she makes sure he stays fed. That's it. He just wants her to stay in the kitchen. And let's not forget his incredibly creepy behavior. He only gives gifts, for example, to good children. And what does that mean? What is a good child? Well, it depends. It kind of changes depending on the person. Because when I was a kid, I remember trying to be as good as possible. And then it came time for Christmas and I wanted a Super Nintendo. Oh, I got a Super Nintendo. And you know what I got with it? Sim City, not Legend of Zelda, Linked to the Past or Super Mario Brothers 3 or any of a dozen, very popular, just as easy to acquire games. No, I got Sim City for the SNES. Do you know how boring that is after the first six hours? My God. It was like getting the thing you... And there were people at school who I knew for a fact were bad people. Just jerks, just really god-awful people. And they got exactly what they wanted. No sick jokes for them. And let's not even get started about how he supposedly knows about everything that's going on in the world. He knows when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. This is the song we sing about this guy. That actually sounds like a serial killer or stalker to me. And if Santa Claus was killing people, we would never know. Because he can magically materialize in a place and then place his finger on his nose and just disappear into the ether. We put far, far too much trust in someone who does not care about us, who only cares about self-aggrandizement, and who is, don't get me wrong, a master of self-promotion, but a very, very bad person who takes advantage of every single person around him and some animals. And if he's willing to yoke them to his sleigh, what other terrible things is he doing? He's probably not feeding them well. He's probably giving them beatings when they don't work. In fact, have you seen the pictures of him on his sleigh? He's got a whip. Oh, and let me tell you something else about Saint Nicholas of Myra or Nicholas the Wonderworker. You know what he's the patron saint of? Sailors and merchants, archers, thieves, prostitutes, and pawnbrokers. Santa Claus is not a good person. Santa Claus only cares about himself and how anything good he does can be marketed to the public. In order to make himself look better. Santa Claus doesn't care about you. Santa Claus only cares about what you think about him. He takes advantage of his pets. He takes advantage of his workers. He takes advantage of his wife. And if he takes advantage of those people, you can guarantee that he's going to take advantage of you. Do not trust him. Do not leave cookies and milk out for him. Do not let him in your house if you can avoid it. If we stand together on this, we can stop Santa Claus from doing this shameless self-promotion tour he does every year. Let me tell you something. There's a reason why NORAD tracks Santa Claus' path across the sky. And it's not so that the children can know where Santa Claus is at any given time. The government of the United States of America knows exactly what I know and they're willing to put the money where their mouth is. Santa Claus cannot be trusted and he must be stopped. Anyway, that's it. Thank you very much for watching. If you like the content, scroll down and hit the subscribe button and the notification bell next to that so you can see when I upload new videos. Most of the time I'm uploading SCP-related content. Today was a little bit different since it's around the holiday. But yeah, go hit the subscribe button and also head on over to patreon.com. Thank you very much for watching and letting me know that I'm not alone out here. I'll see you all again on Thursday.