 You do get a lot of nose and you get frustrated and at times my soul has felt compromised and my energy has been depleted and I literally am just like this this is just not the way I envisioned me feeling about my career at this point with my love of music and how I know I want it to be and it's not the way that I want it to be and like there's been times when I've just like said it like maybe it's over like maybe I just need to and he is like absolutely not you know and that's helpful you know I'm also too like you can't want it more for me than I wanted for myself right but I'm really glad you said I support you because that's what exactly what I try to do even if it comes off a little bit braces sometimes this is Dine and Dish a series where we dine on a meal we cooked with another couple then dish about our relationships this episode we've got my long time and hometown homie Melanie Fiona and her fiance Jared Cotter Melanie is a Grammy award-winning singer songwriter and wellness advocate Jared Cotter is a successful songwriter music manager and co-founder of The Heavy Group we made a veggie version of butter chicken rice and naan that spoke about what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who is also in the entertainment industry okay but my question for all of you is in an ideal world what occupation would your significant other have and which one would they definitely not have while you guys type your answer in the comment section below let's pause for a quick second for a word from our beloved sponsor Squarespace this video is sponsored by Squarespace from websites and online stores to marketing tools and analytics Squarespace is an all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your online business I'm telling you Squarespace is a one-stop shop transfer your existing domain or buy a new one directly through Squarespace they offer the most stunning easy to use and always ahead of the curved templates customize a beautiful and powerful online identity with Squarespace relationships can be a distraction do you relate to that as truth or as a lie I think if you let it be it's a distraction you know I think you really need to and that's why we have a nanny who's amazing and really gives us a lot of time to to to be individuals and I always tell her I'm like make sure you're taking advantage because I do you know I'm out there working and and doing what I need to do creatively and business wise like you need to do the same so I think if you let it be something that's that's a hindrance it will be I think it's I think it's a distraction for me in a space where I've definitely like there's just nothing else I'd rather do than be with him you know so it's like if we can do nothing and eat food and like love on each other forever bet but the bills are all paid fantastic like I'm a lover and I'm super passionate and when I'm in I am in and the whole world could disappear and I could not care less like you know that's that's this is exactly what Drake was talking about yeah verbatim yeah so that's what I'm saying like I understand how it can be a distraction you know but again having somebody who works 27 hours out of the day it keeps me focused as well if you're in a situation where he is 30 plus years old and he's not in a relationship he's going to say hey this is the reason why but who knows where he could have been if he got into a a successful relationship that pushed him up he could have elevated even where's up from Drake but I also point it out I also believe that I also believe that people also sell themselves that idea right because it's a source of inspiration exactly like oh I gotta run through 76 different chicks because I need a new story I need a new concept I need a new you know something to talk about you think that's valid I do think it's valid for someone you know not necessarily for me that sounds exhausting I don't have that type of energy in general you know what I mean to just be giving that many people that my attention but some people they become addicted to that persona they become addicted to that idea of where they get their source of creativity and that's what keeps them active and happy and going has there ever been a time where either maybe she's working with like a producer or a manager or maybe you're working with like you know an artist or something that you've ever been like the low-key jealous this is an interesting me personally no I'm not a jealous person neither am I you're not like a Jay-Z like you are not performing with Sean Paul where that happened allegedly allegedly allegedly allegedly I don't think Sean Paul was like I'm not gonna it's okay I'll sit this one out I think he was told yeah he would have been there I really don't I really don't sometimes I think that she doesn't like that I feel like you like a little bit of jealousy something yeah I do yeah and it's not jealousy because I would say it like I'm not a jealous person but I am territorial so you know it's like I don't like feeling like there's anybody in my territory so if I feel like this line whatever it is has been crossed in my territory now I'm gonna feel a little uncomfortable but if I was like that it'd be a problem just all around she has a lot of male friends you know so it's like now to this here we go so male friends being that no because because we we have talked about this and although he doesn't express it it has come out times that he's been like yeah well you got a lot of male friends I'm not really comfortable with that I'm like oh you are like so you're not comfortable with the male friend now he is I'm totally comfortable with your male friends he is comfortable with my male friends now but I'm again I'm not I'm not the jealous he's not a he's not a jealous type of person although you do refuse to watch some of my other music videos just saying I don't want to see you intimate with with with ghost that must be hard for you guys it's like I mean you talk about sex you have videos with other guys making our do I hope to shoot a video for you where you were all up on a girl this is true and I kind of like it I used to get in trouble a lot I used to get in trouble a lot not not with Shannon but with that a lot a lot of other women that I was with like I'm not a jealous type I've never been there is not a jealous type to like the nth degree like I've never experienced somebody who like literally a time when we were open I would tell the story that like I was dating somebody else and so the second time that this person had come into town because they weren't from here I was like oh they were like by your job today he's like oh what does he look like I'm like you ain't never looked him up on Instagram like this whole time I was gonna hook him up with some I was gonna hook him up I was gonna give him I was gonna have mine why why put yourself through that time I look the latterly I'll go for it's not everything with that person that would have read every article I'm with you like it's just for me I know everything he doesn't know everything even the things he thinks I don't know I know everything I know things that you don't know I know exactly okay exactly but every girl knows I'm like you're fine I don't know it's just something that's like I don't know I've never felt I you know what it is I feel like every person has to be their own human and I'm just here to like support you as a human and vice versa so like when it comes to like you know flirtatious energy and all that other stuff like I trust your judgment so much that I know that you would never make a decision that would come back to me like it just comes down to trust it just comes down to like who I believe him to be and how I expect him to handle himself in in any regard it's like if your artist has a crush on you you know I'm hoping that you're not doing anything to encourage the crush like I'm really hoping that you're doing more things to other than just being out here I'm kind of no nonsense with with my shit all always like dudes know when they can try me and they know when they can't yeah and I think that my just the way that I am and the way that I present myself like dudes don't try me like I can no matter if a dude is checking for me right now somewhere I wouldn't right now I feel a little scared actually you hear so many stories about like you know I mean I can only imagine what what women have to go through with producers like I gotta struggle to get my tracks on producers like I can only imagine what like it's going on with women in industries like and I think that that's just kind of how you have to set the tone as a woman in general like it's like I'm here to do business or I'm here to get busy like I offer just as much as you can offer to me right and you know and I think that too as a as a as a woman you know men will try to pray on if they can see a crack of weakness that they can get in there to use that you know like to be honest one of my favorite things about being in the industry and being married is that I can go as far as I want to while there's still the know is already built in so like I feel like I can be more flirtatious I feel like I can be more suggestive because I could always have the clear like well no I have a partner like this is about fun and connection yeah this is not about building anything else separate aside from that so I think it actually adds an additional layer of ease to that for me which before there's always this hidden context of is this person thinking this is going to be more than what it is because I just like flirting for flirting sake I just think it's fun I get so much shit that you put out there like how does Jared feel about this about this post right here I'm like yo I don't care what you post on Instagram I see you every double see you tonight but you know but you know for someone else that could be planting the seed like you know for you who's just like I don't care like time you know but like after a while somebody could use that to be like somebody else I think our relationship has taken out of the taking the humiliation out of so far we'll see how you know how life transpires what's the worst can happen I don't know I'm waiting to find out but I'm ready but I'm in it what's the word so you know I'm ready for anything these Canadians man yeah I don't know what's going on I thought there was going to be chill and nice like six six six no we're kids there's you know what on on that note let's just ease and settle take a little break check back in with Squarespace and when we come back we talk about work love balance with Squarespace you can be rebranded in no time and you don't have to hand over a bunch of cash to a website designer they have loads of easy to use templates and they are so customizable that making your website unique to you is simple and fun Squarespace is the solution it's a one-stop shop for your portfolio online store or really whatever you need need a domain no worries you can buy one directly through Squarespace I already have a domain no stress transfer over your existing domain today with Squarespace it's never been easier to have an online presence by allowing you to manage your products orders and inventory in one spot Squarespace also has you covered with standout email campaigns for your mailing list they truly are the easiest and fastest way to launch your business today so go to squarespace.com to start your free trial and when you're ready to launch go to squarespace.com slash amputee to get 10 off your first purchase of a domain or a website what do you think is better for you to date somebody at uh uh with a nine to five or do you think it's better that somebody's in the industry I think from a standpoint of how ridiculous my life is I can't imagine somebody with a nine to five job understanding like there was this time that I had these vulva hats right one was brown one was pink to plan what color your vulva was naturally and I needed to help shooting them and I was like ah Jay like would you mind and like I'm on the roof with my friend with these hats like doing all these v signs like squatting yeah I don't want to know I don't want to throw that way because I remember it go down easy yeah I remember it go down easy yeah I remember you had the knees yeah I remember when I had the wheels like I'm 30 you know I mean like I'm a 30 class I'm an adult I'm a grown-up and like this is my job so I think from that standpoint I'm so grateful to have somebody who's in the industry and who's creative and who gets it because or else I'd be I'd be really embarrassed all the time yeah I mean you do got some ridiculous posts but yeah like understanding the scope of your job yeah and then also as well you too like what work is like for you a call at 2 a.m. from somebody at a club who had a crisis with x y or z that is a 911 emergency call yeah and it has to be taken with the same heaviness and if you're not in it you may not really get that absolutely whether it's 2 p.m. or 2 a.m. gotta be on it yeah I think I think the fact that we have similar experiences in music I think that just both being in the music industry I think is helpful I think but not just because of what we do but I think because of who we are I think separately from from what we do we we balance each other out very well personality wise and I think that that also fairs well for us as entrepreneurs in music you guys actually had like a nine to five relationship for a while in a sense when you worked in Phoenix right like you had that structure in place at the time what was the difference like there I think because I was starting this the business that I'm in now it was still a lot but I'd be home at five yeah I loved it so I loved it she knew I was coming over dinner every every night I mean I loved it like we moved you know we moved away from LA and that literally meant moving away from everybody and yeah yeah what I mean I look back on it and people can be like oh well why did you do that and I'm just like I had seven months to literally incubate with my family and have priceless uninterrupted like no distraction time like we would put our kids to get sleep together every night we'd wake up together every morning you know now it's like one of us got to get up one of us got to get out the door you know somebody's late somebody's out of town you know I look back at that time and I really cherish it so that that sense of routine and normalcy I guess I would say which is different for us now I really did I remember when we were coming back I mourned it I cried and I was like we're never gonna have this time again you know did you feel that in the moment or were you ready to get back to like the grind no I was really loving that you know we had a baby it was a year that time is priceless you know and I think that then transitioning out of it it was just like okay after one time is another but I will always look back at that time and be thankful for that time yeah the time people were like moving where yeah you know wall place and and when we got there it was love man like we really grew as a unit and I think it's helped set the foundation for us being able to survive right now there has to be that time to connect there has to be that time to really build a friendship and a foundation and I think after having cam that definitely was that time for us so now that we're back here we can always hold on to those memories but also look and be like okay this is the chapter we're in right now so we got to support each other and and this chapter right now what's your workflow like like how do you guys balance that it's it's interesting like we get it like time in the morning together um so like every morning I like coffee I don't know I'm a coffee drinker Shannon's a tea drinker so we'll drink coffee in this kind of the time to settle we'll talk about like whatever we talk about it could be anything it could be the reasons on poverty the reasons on whatever you mean without a small human being running around yeah in between in between the two of you how nice that's really nice that's really nice that sounds amazing we usually work until about nine o'clock and we'll kind of shut it off okay and um yeah it's so funny because I think watching your videos yeah it's like I feel like you guys are just always together and like everything that you guys do is together yeah we do I spend a absurd amount of time with you yeah it's pretty it's pretty much like that I mean like before I had the studio here I would go to a studio so like that was our time apart yeah then you had a full-time job at the time and then also like when I was on set for a show well how how hard is it to find when it's time to shut it because you guys work from home basically yeah so how hard is it to find when to shut it off this is tough for us because well currently we are yeah I mean I'm I'm like waiting for my phone to blow up right now you know and like hold on guys we gotta stop for a second that's that's one of my issues is that I can't shut off I don't know how to you know even when we're watching TV I'm answering emails and it's just because I'm I have a young business you know I'm an entrepreneur at the end at the end of the day and you really need to be attentive to that you know you guys know it very well too you have to be on top of your shit at all times and I'm in a business where I have multiple clients that are doing that are varying stages of their career that I need to manage and and I'm their partner and and I need to be there for them yeah so it's something I take very seriously as well um so it's tough because it does bleed into our home life and she talks to me all the time about it but because even when he's not on his phone his brain is still working yeah right so there's a there's a presence of mine that is that is um absent that that I require sometimes and that our house requires that I think I'm a little bit more leveled in that space of um being present for the home and for him when it's time like you know there's for me I think especially in the last few years because Cameron has been such a huge focal point of my life um you know he hasn't it's interesting because like based off of the timing of when we've met and how our relationship has gone he hasn't really been with me in full album cycle which is probably the reason why we have a relationship because had it not had you had we you know who knows if we if we just survive that like I don't know I would like to believe that we would have but we would have been different people back then but do you guys genuinely never have like complete time where both people are like it's you and me I I would like to say that would be a goal of mine I want him to be happy and sometimes when you're grinding so hard you just get into a mode of grind grind grind and going like you said that you forget that oh there's this other side that that actually serves you as well you know you're just no good if you're just there's a balance this though because I remember like in my previous relationship I was out at dinner once and I got an email from my agent and I was like answering back it was like four about something like a group date and I answered back the email and then he was like can you just take a second to enjoy your life and I'm like oh this this is enjoyable to me like I'm thoroughly enjoying this conversation not it's not competing right except for things but I fucking love working yeah and so I'm fortunate I guess with you that we have a very similar work ethic and amount of hours that we want to put in but I know for a fact I put in a lot more than the average person does and I love every second of it I mean obviously for me this is like a unique question because our relationship in general is anything but a distraction or hindrance to my career it literally is my career like Jared said to me today he's like yo I never know what I'm gonna say he's gonna end up on the Instagram caption I think that that's the you know the gift and the curse of being an artist or dating an artist because like I'm gonna write a song one day he's gonna be like damn I didn't know you felt that way it's only gonna be about him you know unless I'm drawing on somebody else or create or creating a concept of something that somebody inspired me for but let it be something that sounds remotely like 4 a.m. right now people be like oh damn Jared's fucking up you know like immediately all they got problems it's just like oh but we're actually okay but you know as an artist sometimes you need to draw on those things back to the whole thing about you know you need to draw on those I know I draw on the best songs on my worst moments emotionally you know it's always easy to write a sad song than it is to write a happy song for me at least you know so I draw on that and I know that inspiration and I know what it is and you know after after six years and a kid and getting you know on the road of Mary there's a lot of things there that I'm still looking and figuring out how to how to share at this point in my life you know it's so exactly like the instagram caption is like and then people will look for an excuse oh my favorite comment is like oh I'm gonna be back here in two years in this relationship crumbles I'm like fucking stay tuned like whatever it is that keeps you coming back just give me these clicks give me these clicks that's fine whatever as a final throw out their question what's advice you would give to somebody who's looking to fall in love with or wants to love somebody in the entertainment industry I think um out of any other industry because you're dealing with uber creatives in the entertainment industry patience yeah uber emotions you really need to be patient not just with your partner but with yourself more so than any other industry because that those lows are pretty fucking low yeah you know those highs are really high you know and those they may not last that long either either one so just be patient with yourself and your partner that's that's my advice and also know that if it's not for you it's not for you like I know some people that are like some women that'll be like oh I will never date an athlete it's never gonna happen it's never going to happen and for whatever reason whether they're the idea of what that is or maybe they have experience in knowing what it is they're just like I'm not going down that road I don't care how fine you are how cool you might be and you know that could be blocking a blessing or just being like nah I just I know that that is not the lifestyle I want to be a part of you have to have a level of of security in yourself and love for yourself um because there is going to be a mass number of people that love your partner you know and so I think that you have to understand that that is okay and you have to give that space um and if you're not okay with that then maybe you shouldn't be dating somebody in the industry because if they do blow up and they do make it there's going to be a number of people that are going to be fanning over them you know way more than you probably fan over them so so because the dream can be the nightmare and like that's all I mean everything leads in together right like I'm sure like your greatest highs in your relationship can be your greatest lows in your career and vice versa right like there's just I don't know it's it's a wild ass ride you guys are awesome thank you you guys are awesome you guys are awesome yeah okay wait we have something for you oh yeah okay so congratulations on being newlyweds you're inspiring this is so wonderful and of course you know I could have gone the traditional like crate and barrel route and like got you you know champagne glasses or something for your house you have a house you already have everything you need but I wanted to give you we wanted to give you something that I think yes this is jerry I wanted I wanted to get you guys something that would kind of serve as like a symbol for your home and I think that something that I think you guys do a really good job of anyways and I think that two people when they're on a journey together needs I really wanted to get something that I thought stood for what I believe marriage to be about and commitment and I think what you guys exemplify and practice and um you know I always want this stone to be a reminder well usually we end these with like a cheers why don't we all maybe just touch the rock touch the rock and energize it give us some love love love love love love communication through all peaks and valleys of life and business growth amen she said amen it's shaking itself guys just energize it's an earthquake it's an earthquake you're shaking