 As a mom, I want everything for my kids, but most importantly, I try to keep them safe from this hectic world. So I try to teach them everything I can. Now Johnny, what do we do when we see terrorists? Shoot their brains out! I'm so glad you have your father's superior brain. At the end of the day, I just want to protect my kids, even when I'm not around. So that's why I started Trigger Happiness. Our mission is simple. Give your kids guns. Shoot the pagans! Good boy! Now that my kids have guns, I never have to worry about them being safe. I bet you a trillion billion dollars, I know that ABC's better than you. Oh yeah? Yeah! Yeah, well who needs the ABC's when you've got the NRA, motherfucker? Boom! With guns, your kids can stay safe both at home and in school. Just listen to this rave review from my son's teacher. I'm worried about Johnny, he keeps loading and unloading guns. He's so advanced for his age, I heard that bitch Bessie can't even tell a pistol from a rifle. I know that I'm the best mom that I can be, because my kids are always protected. Mom, we're gonna go play outside with guns! What? Fun. What can I say? I'm a mom who cares. So join Trigger Happiness, because what else will save them? Mom? Kids will be kids. I like to bear arms. Those were his first words. Trigger Happiness, the only logical conclusion.