 The comedian said if God didn't want you to self-pleasure God loves you and God wants you to succeed in life So God would have put your genitals in the middle of your back where it's hard to reach But instead it's right here. It's right in front. It is the most comfortable place possible Hello there lovers and friends. Let's get straight to the point masturbation. I do it. You do it He does it and today we're gonna answer your most pressing questions on it Do you know why I asked you to be my right-hand man for today's video? All right, so it's probably because for a large portion of my life I was waiting till marriage to have sex and you most likely believe that in order to get through that phase of my life I had I had to caress myself through it in my mind if there's anybody who knows about self-pleasure masturbation It would be you. I had assumed that you've done it all kinds of ways different place I am the master of masturbation. No, it's not true The true master of masturbation is Tank tank. Yes I was in the Tango moment Tango who is the sponsor of this video Tango creates innovative sex toys with men and Women and as many of you guys know I've been working with Tango for the better part of this year But I've been a fan of their work for years and years because they did this thing called the self-pleasure report The 2019 self-pleasure report brings to light the surprising role that sex masturbation and sex toys play in America and people around the world sex lives It is filled with a ton of fun facts that I want to bring to some of y'all and Johan's gonna help me Yeah, I'm gonna help. I just don't understand how fun a report can be 91% of American men and 78% of American women Well, so it's like men masturbate and women Now I know people love to talk about all the things that millennials do wrong, but take this in Millennials masturbate more than Gen Z or Gen X Americans say they touch themselves the most in the month of June from the hours of 7 30 p.m. To 11 30 p.m. When Postmates is not delivered People who identify as LGBTQ plus masturbate more than those who identify as heterosexual Sex and masturbation are more stress-reducing than meditating Getting a massage and playing with cute little animals that we see on Instagram like little puppies and Ferrets according to tanga self-pleasure report people fantasize more about their previous partners and their current. Oh No You can tanga You can tango with tanga, baby So if you want to read tangos full 2019 self-pleasure report go to feel more dog global slash Shen you can get all the fun facts that your heart can desire without further ado. Yo Don't get to your question. What if somebody wants to masturbate to the report? My partner isn't comfortable with me masturbating. What do I do dump them? Really? Like first of all, that's mad controlling don't you think so? Yes, I feel like there's some deeper issues that you can't masturbate You're only gonna have sex with me. I would say though that there is a lot of Sex negative messaging and also there is a lot of toxic monogamy in a sense where people view masturbation as a competition And so if I masturbate I'm doing it because my partner isn't pleasing me enough versus masturbation is a completely separate activity That's really just for me and that doesn't have a lot in common with partnered sex It is something totally different and masturbation is a part of wellness just like flossing your teeth They're going for a run or drinking some green juice. So I think of it. It's very different And I think if you explain that way to your partner that like look, this is not about me Thinking that you're not doing your job, right This is about me having my own activity for myself because it just seems like you're tending to some insecurity there Baby, you do a good job. I just need to go floss my teeth. Yes but don't you there are a lot of People in particular especially around porn where if they caught their partner watching porn and self-pleasuring it can feel in many ways like sure There's so much Fear around sexual adequacy. There's so much fear that people aren't good enough in the bedroom So I just think instead of going straight for the dump where it's a little bit of extra communication But how many conversations are you gonna have? Okay, see there you go Two conversations then How do I bring sex toys into the bedroom without my partner feeling intimidated It seems like there's a lot of worry about what the partner is thinking or doing or saying Have you ever had sex with some bedroom before? Um Yes, so there's been a couple times where a girl has asked can she use a vibrator and that's never I'm like, yeah Do what you think like why would you Feel insecure about that I guess it goes back to that notion of if you have to bring in something additional It means that I'm not bringing enough to the table versus the table is full We just want to add some garnish to it. We just want to put a little cranberry sauce Exactly the turkey's already great But wouldn't some cranberry sauce be nice? You're the turkey I I look at sex a lot like eating, you know, like food like a culinary experience Like there's a lot of great basic food to not for me Like I I don't eat meat, but a beyond burger and some fries But the other day I had brown butter mashed potatoes with truffle aioli gravy Before we move on I wanted to actually gift this with to you So this is tanga's svr. It is a cock ring that has a very large vibrator on top And so this might be that extra it's a toy for both. It's single It's one single toy So if you're not if you don't want to bring a chest into the bedroom where it's like you get this and I get this And there's 17 different things overwhelm your partner You want to overwhelm your partner you start with something light and once you start they see and they feel the benefits of it You could start opening them up to new things. Okay, that makes sense. You want to read this one? What is it? Let's give it. Let's give it some variety How do I get my partner to feel comfortable masturbating? He's a hetero male So are they saying the gay world is more comfortable masturbating? I would think that people look at masturbation. It's like a quick and dirty job Like something that you do because you have no other options But in truth it is a way to delight in your own sensations to caress yourself to caress yourself To challenge yourself to have fun with yourself to know yourself. Yes, and I think somebody who masturbates and Practices that is actually a better lover. Yeah, and a more Exciting and spontaneous lover. Well, why is it because I've always felt like Women are more in tune with themselves than men are but it seems like the percentage is lower For women that masturbate. Well, yeah, there's a lot of women who still have so much A lot of women have never even taken a mirror before and looked at their volvas So their relationship with their genitals is so disconnected. Girl, you ain't looked at your volvo You gotta look at your volvo. You look at your volvo girl. Have you ever taken a mirror before and looked at around at the nuts The gonads. I've never taken a mirror and look at no Girl, you ain't looked at your volvo. You have no idea what your parody looks like. The thing is this, there is nothing attractive about a man's nuts And I feel like we don't want to look at them, but you've got to look for the beauty on the inside That's what I'm saying. My inside is beautiful, but my nuts. No, not so beautiful Okay, let's answer this question I would say if your partner does not feel comfortable masturbating It's up to you to debunk some of the sex negative language They've gotten I think it's important for us to remember that for a lot of people they've spent 20 plus years We were just talking about this with Jared. He went to a church for example where masturbating was extreme No, no, and he had to go to confession every single time that he did self-pleasure And so think about that conditioning and how uncomfortable that can make you With this as an act of self-love with this actually as an act of doing something good for yourself And so if they had 20 years of that conditioning they might need Two months two years or five years of positive conditioning to combat that How do you change your personal negative mindset on masturbation? Well, you know, it's funny because even part of my worry as I do this with you is like What are people gonna think about me? You know what I mean? If I say this or if I say that I totally forget that that's a thing for other human beings. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, you don't you don't worry about that I forget. No, my my filter is gone. Yeah, you're like I've been doing this for a long time, right? So whatever has gotten you there. I feel like a strong part of it is do you Do you live for the chatter? Right. And so part of the shame is like what are other people thinking or what is the power that be thinking? If you are Supremely secure in your own skin for your own reasons and you truly know how to love yourself I feel like all that stuff washes away. I think it's actually a truly Beautiful journey because people think that it's supposed to happen overnight I often get questions from people that are like, hey me and my partner had a discussion But they're still exhibiting some Apprehension, what's the problem? You're like, damn it doesn't happen overnight It can take years and years and so I actually truly affirm people who are prudes in the sexual space because one That is a sexual decision based on what you think is best for you I am proud of anybody who finds A sexual mentality or mindset that feels like a celebration of their life and an extension of the best parts of who they are So if for you being more reserved about your sexualities is the best celebration of your sexuality I'm all for that person. But it's it's a long process for everybody this final question. I very much like I don't think I'm sexually repressed or anything But I never feel compelled to masturbate is something wrong with me. Should I try to force myself to get into it? I think forcing and sex just do not go together. I totally agree Because I think a part of it again It's like what seems to be underlying is there's something wrong with me which also plays into the shame It seems like everything is connected to shame and guilt. There's something wrong with me I have to overcome this dysfunctional part of me in order to be okay with it. Well, how so How much do you talk about like asexual Mindsets or exactly. Yeah, because if you're asexual, there's nothing wrong with you. Yes, absolutely To me true sex positivity is acceptance for every single way of sexual expression And some people's way of sexual expression is being like, I see you down there. I'm chilling. You're chilling We're good and I think even just the conversation of like is there room for growth Like if if you want to grow as a human being, why wouldn't you want to grow sexually? And again, I think it's so connected to This part of us that has a big ego about like I just I have to have it all together sexually Because otherwise there's something inherently wrong with me There's nothing wrong with you. No There's nothing wrong with you. I know how to caress myself at the end of the day I always say this you really don't have to masturbate You don't have to indulge in your sexuality You don't have to play in this space And so the only reason that you should be doing it is because it brings you joy and makes your life better And so if your self pleasure or your sexuality is not bringing you joy making your life better I do agree. You should kind of pause figure it out. Ask yourself some questions Do some quizzes maybe buy some new toys kind of just re reset the landscape and then approach it again With the goal in mind just being pleasure Yeah, I feel like you guys saw the evolution of my comfortability in this process, but this was great Drink no, no, no, I'm not that comfortable yet If you would like to Follow Johan and learn more about the work that he does Please go in the info box for all his links Also in the info box is where you can find the link to tanga feel more doc global slash shan You can read the self pleasure report there and you can also see all the products I mentioned in this video And you know what that hadn't treat yourself if you're feeling in the mood and that is the general theme of this video Your body is amazing and capable of some awesome things pleasure being just one of them In the comment section below, I would love to hear from you How did you first start self-pleasuring and how has your self pleasure routine evolved over the years? 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