 Okay, so good morning once again. Good to see all of you. I hope you all had a pleasant week and will have even more blessed week coming forward. All right, so welcome to all our e-learning students as well. Thank you for those who are regularly tuning in and joining and completing your course on time. We appreciate your commitment. We want to stand with you to encourage you and also all of you students online. Just a reminder before we get started that the assessment is due today. So I think many of you have completed it but there are still a few more who needs to complete the assignments. So after class I request that you take it. It'll probably take you maybe less than 10-15 minutes. Your classmates have done very well. I don't know if the paper was that easy but then I think I'll take it to the latter and say that all of you all have paid a lot of attention as well as you know gone through your notes and done it prayerfully. So I'll go with the second one. Let's just get started with the word of prayer and we'll move forward. Heavenly Father we thank you once again for your mercies and your grace is new every morning. Thank you that we are recipients of your faithfulness today. Lord we stand in awe of who you are. Lord even as we get together in class learning another aspect of marriage. Father we pray God that you will open our hearts you will pour in to us draw out from us all the chaff and Lord replace it with the truth of your word. Father for those of us who are in marriages we pray that you will work in our relationships in our marriages to make us to be who you would like us to be. Father for those of us who may be struggling through our relationships we look to you as the perfecter and author of our faith and know God that you perfect all things in your time. Bless this time of learning in Jesus name. Amen. Alright so we've been going through the elements of a good marriage and we've come to the next part the next element of what does it mean to have a good marriage and for you to just follow along I am on page 100 and we are going to be looking at teamwork or how is it that what does it mean to be a team in marriage what does it entail what is the power of a team and what are some practical perspectives on how a husband and wife can become a strong team for the purposes of God and his kingdom on earth. Okay so I'm on page 100 and we are going to be doing becoming a team. Okay so maybe to get started with I think you know just for us to have a warm-up like how we would do if we are to you know exercise I'm sure a lot of us have been part of teams different kinds of teams right it could be a sports team could be a cultural team it could be a work team it could be just maybe a couple of friends getting together as a team to do something it could be a team at church a youth group team who's working together on something all right now and I'm sure each one of us have had the opportunity to be part of some team or the other. Okay so I'd like to hear from you or you know good good to have you all put it up on the chat as well as to what have you learned about being in a team as against or what do you think gets accomplished while being in a team as against being alone what do you think has been accomplished by being in a team as against being alone yes Shaye good to hear you yes thank you pastor so what I've learned being a team as against the lonely's burden is being shared right everybody takes the firm responsibility and so you can easily effectively execute your own part of the portion of whatever objective you're set to do apart from that you get to learn again just being in a team different how people have different experiences from people how people are able to achieve things and that also you can learn and apply it to your life so one is burden is being eased number two is the things you're able to learn just by walking in a team things that you never have known if you never worked with people of different backgrounds from different walks so yeah those are two things I think for me yeah thank you that that that was wonderful thank you Shaye that was great thank you yes Charles thank you so much pastor someone said that when you want to go very fast you go alone but when you want to go very far you go with others meaning that you when you are alone you can get tired you can you I have seen it at home when I'm doing things alone when I've kept quiet I've not shared they suck sucks but when I've shared I feel released I feel okay and then I know I am having people with me I am giving an example of preparing the weekly or monthly menu for the family and I have involved my children and I've involved my wife and everyone gives in their input wow the thing become okay and even when it is prepared nobody's complaining because we already know what is happening so I am seeing it that when we are a team we achieve more thank you thank you thank you Charles that's so true I think Shaye and Charles bought up some very valid points of burden being shared work being done together appreciations happening as a result wonderful Kennedy I think my most interesting experience is working with a weak team player talking with a weak team player it really calls you to humble yourself do everything in unity and understanding and accepting the way they are and also learn to encourage them to bring them to a level where you can perform together as one thank you okay I I think yeah so I think he said how you he said how yeah I think it was a sports team he was referring to of how you encourage one another and you know learn so much from each other wonderful Prabhakar has said in a team our weaknesses is backed up by the strength of others absolutely alright anyone else would like to comment on the team why what what do you achieve by being in a team as against being alone anyone else like to hear some more responses my sponsor would be by working at team we will not the car sir I individual as work in the team it was it was also a way some condensers and as a whole team or if I call it is achieving as a whole team a monitor no matter what can't is a whole family a second sir and consider for so sports activity and there were several So, back up one store, back up, so, mask up several title, I increase them, try to keep positive, some naïve main there. I thank you. Okay, thank you Dinesh. I think what you were trying to communicate was how a goal, a larger goal or an outcome can be achieved when people work together in a team. Wonderful. Thank you Dinesh. Okay, Avni has said, we get to know new perspectives and it facilitates better idea generation and more creativity. Yes, more heads, the more ideas come up, more creativity comes up, absolutely. Rupa, we can pull individual strengths to achieve our common goal. Yes, wonderful. So, I think, okay, there's somebody else also who mentioned teamwork. Maxin has said teamwork. You, in teamwork, I learned skill from friends easier. Yes. Okay, so we pick up a lot more of gifts and skills from them. Wonderful. Okay, so we've since we've all been part of a team. Okay, then Kennedy also has said learning to work under my bosses with respect and good communication skills. Yes, so working as a team together definitely requires that there are certain skills like respect, good communication that needs to be enhanced. Prabhakar has said team. Oh, okay, he's given an acronym. Oh, that's a cool. Together everyone achieves or accomplishes more. Oh, that's nice. Okay, that's nice. Together achieves and accomplishes more. Okay, lovely. All right. Okay, so when we look at marriage in itself, you know, this is, I think, the smallest team that you can, that is there in society, the husband and wife are ones who make a team, and they need to work together as a team in order to run not just a home, but many things that are attached to them coming together. So when you know that you have someone on your side, you can, you can call on when you think you need to do something on your own, you know, think of a task that you're given, like especially, you know, when you're given group activities, it's so much more stronger, because like somebody said, the weaknesses of one does not get enhanced, but the strength of everyone is what is actually shown up. So the weakness of one gets, you know, gets minimized through the strength of the team, right? So a husband and wife team together is something that is very powerful, because you can overcome many things that will come together. Now life is going to throw different challenges at us, and trying and attempting to do this on our own can become physically draining, emotionally taxing, and also, you know, you're at a greater place for attacks also, when you may be, you know, spiritually. And I'll give you references to what I just said. So what we're going to be exploring through this chapter is we're going to see what, why is a team this powerful? Okay, what are some of the things that, some of the benefits that happen as a result of being a good team? We're going to also be looking at the other side, what are some hindrances or some obstacles that make a good team? And also, we're going to be looking at certain practical perspectives of how a strong team can work for the purposes of God, okay? So we're going to highlight two scriptures as we're going to be looking at this, and I'm at page 100. So if somebody can open up page 100, there are two scriptures on that page. There is Ecclesiastes 4, 9 to 12, and Matthew 18, 19 to 20. So if two of you could just take turns to read it, that'll be wonderful. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 to 12. Shall I read? Sure, Abni, go ahead. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 to 12 says, two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other can help him up. But if someone is alone and falls, it's just too bad, because there is no one to help him. If it is cold, two can sleep together and stay warm, but how can you keep warm by yourself? Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break. Thank you, Abni. Matthew 18, 19 to 20. Somebody else could take a turn to read that. Okay, Matthew 18, 19 to 20. And I tell you more, whenever two of you on earth agree about anything you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, I am there with them. Thank you. Thank you, Tharun. All right, so these two scriptures, although they do not refer directly or are specific to marriage, we still can take principles from it, because it talks about two. It talks about the power of two. So what we are looking at is trying to find and see what enhances a team or what is it that comes out of a team. So when you look at this first scripture in Ecclesiastes, it says very clearly, two are better off than one. And it says because, so one of the things that you see is they work more efficiently. They work effectively. So, you know, there are many things even in our own physical body that helps us see how much the principle of teamwork brings about efficiency. Now, for example, you know, God's given us two hands and thank God that we have two, a pair of hands. We should talk to someone who has only a single hand, right? And what the struggle that they go through to complete maybe even a simple task, maybe like brushing their teeth, right? And if you see the way the Lord has made our bodies, it is so well coordinated, right? That even if you want to brush your teeth, your left hand knows what it needs to do. Your right hand knows what it needs to do, right? Both of them don't go for the toothbrush together, right? Maybe one's taking the toothbrush, one's taking the paste, right? And maybe when you're one's opening the tap, the other one's collecting the water, right? The one's brushing their teeth, the other one's, you know, straightening the hair. So that's what God made our very bodies to be also. And it's similar in every, you know, every part of our bodies, which has two of it, you can look at your legs and, you know, maybe your eyes in this part of the eyes is able to see this side of the vision, this part of the eye is able to see that side of the vision. And as a result, you're able to collectively see things together. So scripture says that together you can work more efficiently or be more effective. And so together the husband and wife definitely has a greater influence and has a greater measure of success when they work together in any sphere or aspect of life, be it things at home, things at work, things maybe dealing with other people, with the things of ministry or the work of God, everything together becomes more effective. Okay, when we look at verse 10 in Ecclesiastes 4, it says if one falls down, the other can help up, right? Help him up. So it is true that both may not stand in strength every time. So there can be times when one falls down and this falls down could be in any way. It is just even, you know, having a bad headache or just having a flu. And you know that your home is not going to break down, but there is someone who is going to take up for you, help you up. So you're not alone in needing to manage maybe the issues of the things at home, okay? As against one who would be fall sick and not have anyone to help him, right? So there is always a support when one is weak. And so even if we look at it in, let's say, in a state of a spiritual fall or even an emotional fall, there is one who helps and picks and encourages them to stand back on their feet, okay? Verse 11 again, the part of it, it says you provide support and encouragement when things are difficult. So that's the power of two people. You know, each of us can think about times when we are going through maybe some struggle. The more that you attempt to ruminate about this in your own mind, it gets very, very cluttered in your head. You know, it's very confusing. There are many thoughts, but when you get someone, maybe it's a spouse or it's a friend or, you know, someone who you connect with well, just sharing those thoughts brings about a lot more of clarity. And there is someone who helps to encourage you and pulls you up so that you can keep going on the way that has been challenging, right? So verse 12 again, says two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone, right? And here, this is where we know that there is, when there are two people who come together, and that's also highlighted in the next verse, where when two people come together in prayer, you know, we know that the presence of the Lord is there in their midst. It will be done because when two or three are gathered, He is there in their midst. So when there are two people together, there is greater strength and there is a greater power to resist any form of an attack. It also is written in Scripture, one of us can put a thousand to flee, and two of us can send the legions fleeing, right? So two has greater strength to resist the power and the attack of the enemy or any kind of pressure that there may be, okay? We do see in Matthew, one of the, I think the clauses, I'd say it like a clause, it says, if you look at verse 19, it says, and I tell you, tell you more, whenever two of you on earth agree, and I think that's the keyword, when you agree, you are bringing in the power of God into operation. When you agree, you see in reference to this verse, a success in prayer or success in what you are seeking God for, and as well as not just prayer, but you also see His presence, you also take along with you His presence. So not just being, when you agree, it's not just the power that there are of two people, but you see great things happen in prayer, and you're also carrying the presence of God alongside with you, okay? So coming together as a team, when the husband and the wife, and now this is not something that happens automatically, but it is something that you work on building, you work on developing that oneness or that teamwork that you see, because when you're able to come together, you will find that there's a lot more of things that are achieved in every area of life, okay? So this, when we're talking about this power of two, this brings about that power of togetherness that is on your lives or on your marriages, and just knowing and understanding that there is this togetherness is greatly affects not just what you do, but also affects who you are. It affects your personal strength, it affects your confidence, it affects your emotional well-being, it affects your mental well-being, it affects your spiritual well-being. When I was in school, I was part of a Coco team, I don't know if you'll have heard the game called Coco, where there are Dodgers and Runners or Catchers, I think that's what it's called, I can't remember, but it's a team of nine and you sit on the floor, on the ground, face opposite each other and a Dodger from the other team runs around and the Catchers are supposed to be catching these Dodgers, and you would think in sport that the taller people are better sports people, but actually in this game the Dodgers, if you are shorter and faster, you have a greater, what do you say, you don't get caught as easily, because especially at the ends of the, at the ends of where you're being seated, yeah you're at an advantage, thank you, thank you Charles, that was what I was looking for. So when you are shorter, especially at the end of the, where you're seated, there's a pole, and if it is a shorter person, you know, you can easily dodge because you don't have long legs, but if you have long legs or long hands, I mean they dangle around, you know, that's you easily want to be caught. So in that, in a game such as that, just knowing that there are different people with different strings and just being together is a great way to have victory, right? So similarly, even when we're looking at marriage, we bear and understand that just knowing that being together in itself has a great impact, not just on the way that you feel or the way that you, you know, maybe doing something or the confidence that you have, but it also impacts your emotional health, it impacts the way you grow spiritually, just knowing that there's an extra person with you, okay? The team also is a blessing to the children of the home, it becomes a blessing to the home and to the family at large, and the children who grow up in homes which are, which have good parents as team players, they begin to see how working as a team is such a wonderful thing. And this not only just an example for them about teamwork, but also about the way a home needs to run, you know, a smaller unit with different members need to run. So it impacts the lives of the children, it impacts also their destiny forward, okay? As a husband and wife also becomes a good team, one of the greatest advantages is that they are able to serve God in his purposes together, they become more effective in the way that they serve God, and lots can be seen, you know, together when they are able to bring about the kingdom of God through maybe different gifts and callings that God has placed in their lives, but the way that they use it together, blend it together to work, work together as a team, okay? Now we'll quickly move on to what are some of the hindrances of becoming a good team. So a lot of times, you know, scripture says that, and that scripture is given here on page 101 in Mark 325, it says a house that's divided against itself will not stand, okay? So if there is a husband and wife who are not for each other and, you know, in very many ways are being competitive or are being bad players of a team, you will see that it is definitely going to impact the outcome of their togetherness, okay? And that marriage is going to dwindle, or it is going to disintegrate. So let's have a look at what are some of those factors that cause hindrances, what could be some of those obstacles for becoming a team? So the first one put here is self-preservation. Now self-preservation as the word says, and it's simple to understand, that you do everything to preserve your interests or keep intact whatever is personal to you, that's self-preservation, okay? Always wanting to ensure to take care of everything that belongs to them, not just materially, but in all sense of the way it could be to do with, you know, maybe your possessions, you know, you don't like sharing something with your partner, or you don't like to, you know, you have your finances are kept as, you know, his and mine, all right? It's called the mine and your money, my money, okay? And I'm sure we've heard that in very many, you know, homes where they say, okay, this is not my money, you take it from your money, what I need to give my parents, I'll take from my money, right? So this your money, my money mentality is something that indicates a preservation, okay? So if this self-preservation becomes an intention, we can see that the larger picture of the marriage or the team is not going to function well, okay? As a couple, you need to consciously see things as ours rather than mine or yours, and look at everything as being common, to be able to give an importance to the other's interests just as much as they would give you the importance, right? So self-preservation can be one of the biggest hindrances to having a good team, okay? The next one is being selfish. Selfish is when either or both of the partners in the marriage focus on their own interests instead of doing something that can be beneficial for the larger family. And here we see that the self becomes primary, the team becomes secondary or, you know, it's not something that exists either. So maybe as an example, let's say, you know, maybe one of the spouses in the marriage has got an opportunity for something, all right? Whereas the other spouse probably requires to be opportunity maybe to travel to another state or another country, whereas the other spouse has the need to be there because of maybe whatever certain aspects that that's important to the family. Maybe it's a kid's education or they may be young children or, you know, whatever the dynamics of the family may be. So the partner who selfishly desires to take over their own interests instead of looking at the family or at the team as a priority could be acting in a state of selfishness. So what we are looking at is the family or the home needs to be given its rightful importance, should be given its due and all other personal interests and ambitions should work around this one, around the home, right? So rather than looking up at your personal interests looking for ways in which you can enhance the home rather than your own personal interests. Another hindrance is competition. When you see your husband or your wife as a competitor, where you're constantly trying to do better than the other person and that leads to an extremely unhealthy competition. And we've all seen that, you know, as children, where we wanted to do better than someone else, you know, wanted to be first rather than, you know, we know what that means. And seeing our spouse as a team player is what's important rather than looking at them as an enemy or as an opponent, because that's what's going to help to build the marriage. So being in competition can be one that is going to disintegrate the marriage. And certain examples I can think of also is in the way or the amount that people earn, the salaries that the husband and the wife earns, right, or the positions that they assume in their workplaces or even in ministry, you know, where are you in ministry, where am I in ministry and what seems to be the divide between us. So that is something that can absolutely hinder the marriage. The next one is pride. Pride, of course, is downfall. So having the attitude of being better off or being good can cause disintegration in the marriage in itself. Okay, any form of a thought or an attitude that I am better off than someone or than my spouse can lead to a lot of strife. And as a result, there can be the team in itself doesn't function. So the importance is to be able to know just like we spoke about, you know, when we set the roles that we are equals and co is right. So knowing that we are equal in everything, maybe we have different strengths and weakness, but we do not lord it over ourselves to think more highly than we ought. So pride can be can be again, a deterrent to being a good team. The next one is being blaming instead of taking responsibilities. So here, especially at times of conflicts, the minute that we push blame on to the other without finding fault of about ourselves is something that can make conflict resolution hard. So what you're looking is if someone, if there is a conflict, we look at the conflict, not as something the other person has to resolve, but how we as a team needs to resolve it. So her problem becomes my problem or his problem, because it's my problem. And we work together as one all because he created the problem. He's not the only to come out of it. But I joined alongside with him to be a solution rather than being a person who blames. And that brings us to the next point of how we need to be more focused on finding solutions rather than being looking back and only identifying the problems. So the more that we only look at the problems, we tend to get into the rabbit hole of finding who's to blame. So keeping away all of that and just working towards solutions gives a better way of working towards a conflict. And that's what really makes it a better team. So when we look at the hindrances, we've spoken about self preservation, selfishness, competition, right? Blaming instead of responsibility and focusing on problems rather than finding a solution. Okay, do we have any questions here? We have around five minutes and we could quickly pick up some questions. Okay, all right, then I'll keep going. So we're going to be looking at what is it that makes a good husband and wife team? We're going to be looking at certain elements that really builds a good husband and wife team. So may I request one of you to turn to page 101 and read the verse, 102, sorry, and read the verse Psalm 133 versus 123. Psalm 133 versus 123. Could somebody read that loud please? Psalm 133, 123. How wonderful it is, how pleasant for God's people to live together in harmony. It is like the precious anointing oil running down from Aaron's head and beard down to the color of his robes. It is like the dew on Mount Haman falling on the hills of Zion. That is where the Lord has promised his blessing, life that never ends. Amen. Okay, thank you. Thank you, Anita. Okay, so if you look at these verses, there's a lot of examples or, you know, analogies that towards unity. They make analogies. The Psalmist is making certain analogies as to what happens when people are in a place of unity and in a place of harmony. So we see, one of the things that we see as we look in the first verse, how wonderful it is, how pleasant for God's people to live together in harmony. So we see that it brings pleasure to the Lord when people walk together in harmony in unity. So it brings pleasure to the Lord. It pleases God when husband and wife walk together in unity and what is it like? So here are the two analogies it's given. It says it's like the precious anointing oil running down from Aaron's head and beard. So this, you know, this pictures a rich special blessing. Okay, it is an anointing, it is the anointing, the anointing oil indicates the presence and the anointing of the Holy Spirit. So it says it is like the precious anointing oil running from Aaron's head and beard. So it says it is the anointing of the Holy Spirit that is weaved in the presence of the Holy Spirit when there are two people in unity together. And the next example it gives is it's like the dew of Mount Hermon falling on the hills of Zion. So here, you know, the dew that is on Mount Hermon, okay, now I'm just telling you a background of this, the dew that falls on Mount Hermon is what actually provides the water supply to the river Jordan. Okay, so it's saying that just like the dew of that falls on Hermon gives into the water supply, it pictures a sense of refreshing, it pictures a place of refreshing. So when there are, when there is a husband and wife walking together in unity, it pleases the Lord, it brings about the anointing and the presence of the Holy Spirit, and it is a place of refreshing. Okay, so we see that this place of unity is a place of blessing, it is a place of life, it is a place of the presence of God, it is a place where there is going to be refreshing. So a husband and wife team being together is more powerful and scripturally we see that he commands that blessing and life for those who are in unity together. Okay, so how does this happen? How does this unity happen? We see that when the husband and wife make efforts to walk together, there is a blessing. You will see that in homes, and I've seen and I'm sure we can, we have seen examples of this, when they walk together, you will find that there is, you will see that the way the family operates together, that there seems to be a blessing in that, the way that you interact with them, you will begin to see that you feel blessed when you talk to maybe a family where there seems unity. Even when they're going through struggles, you see a blessing as they come together in prayer, come together in support and encouragement, how they build each other up. So a blessing is something that we will see as promised when they walk together in unity. So when the husband and wife walk together, what happens is they come to a place of understanding and respecting the differences that they may have or differences of opinions or perspectives that they have when they come together and as they understand each other and the differences, they use that understanding to become a good husband and wife team. They don't use what they know as a way to find conflict or a way to quarrel or a way to blame, but they see those differences as something that can add up in building a team together. Or another way that we see what really makes a good husband and wife is when they take on the roles that have been given to them, when they understand and they walk in the roles that God has put in them based on whatever God says, that he's divinely placed some of these roles and when they begin to assume that role, they walk together in unity. They support the other wherever maybe help is needed or they sometimes need to complement each other and not be again, like we said, in a place of competition. So when they understand the roles that they have and they begin to support each other in this role, that again is a point that makes a good team. So we looked at what makes a good husband and wife team. We said, when they make every effort to work as a team, there is a blessing that is over them that when they begin to respect their differences or see that wherever they are being different is good and it adds up to the team. That's what builds the team and the third point that we were talking about is the roles. When we take on the roles, understand the roles and support each other through the roles we play, that in itself makes a good team. We shall stop for a break right now and come back and continue on with points further on. So you can go grab a coffee, go grab a tea and we'll meet in 10 minutes. In my clock it's 10.52, we will resume at 11.02. Thank you. See you soon.