 So yeah, we just lost etiquette and for some reason y'all still don't get it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, what I try to do is take different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you, yes you, how to improve your own mental and emotional well-being and two things I'm very passionate about are mental health and addiction recovery so if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and by the way make sure you follow me on Instagram I've been switching things up I've been putting a lot of like anxiety tips up there lately because of the launch of my brand new book Rewire Your Anxiety but anyways follow me over on Instagram I'm giving a bunch of free tips on how to manage anxiety things that have helped me and helped many many other people all right so anyways let's jump into this topic like I am flabbergasted all right I don't know if people still use the word flabbergasted but I am that just absolutely flabbergasted all right so those of you who aren't caught up to speed yet you can check out the video that it's linked right up there in the info card yesterday I put up a video about Taylor Nicole Dean hooking up with a dude she met in rehab those of you who don't know what a drug and alcohol rehab is it is a mental health facility for people with drug addictions and often mental health illnesses as well a facility in which not that specific facility but I've worked in for over three years now and I've been sober for seven years now but anyways the reason I'm making this follow-up video isn't for Taylor Nicole Dean she's going to do her thing and trust me trust me I'm under no delusion that I'm going to save Taylor Nicole Dean or any other addict or alcoholic out there in the world the hard lesson that I learned when I started working at a treatment center is that I do not have the power to get people sober or keep people sober it's something that people couldn't do for me either I could not get sober and stay sober until I wanted to and I started putting in the work all right but I just think it's really really sad when people like mind your business who cares like think about that like I just don't get I don't get how people can even live their life like that and say like mind your own business who cares like like what if we all did that what if we all just turn the blind eye and we just let people just oh okay I know you're destroying your life but you know that's none of my business like are those the type of people who are just like oh not my job I'm not going to do that right like it's crazy like they've had to pass like good Samaritan laws just so people don't idly watch as somebody gets like brutally beaten in public right like we have to make a law for people like you out there who say oh this is nobody's business all right like think about that for a second have some empathy have some compassion for your fellow human beings we don't need to watch somebody self-destruct in front of us and not say anything but like I mentioned in the intro of this video so many people are so ignorant when it comes to mental health and addiction and just ignorant that all that means is a lack of knowledge and this is so so so troubling like I made that video I made a tweet about it and Taylor Nicole Dean saw it and she replied and she got sassy like you guys oh my god like first off it's somebody newly in recovery like I don't know if you knew this or not but drug addicts don't like being told what they should do okay like again like I mentioned in the video yesterday like do you think do you think any therapist doctor counselor caseworker anybody in their right mind would say huh yeah yeah Taylor Nicole Dean I think it's a great idea for you to meet somebody in rehab and start hooking up with them that's gonna work out phenomenally and the fact is she is lying to you okay like I hate to say that but to put out there that her her her doctors and everybody thinks this is okay is a blatant lie because nobody who works in this field would ever say that in a million years okay but the problem is is that so many of you are cosigning her BS like I don't know if you knew this or not but the opioid epidemic in the United States is real we have tens of thousands of people dying each and every single year because of this disease all right and it's so important like I speak from personal experience one of the reasons that I relapse so many times one of the reasons that so many other people relapse so many times is because we lack humility right we keep wanting to do things our own way okay we we take back self will self will is I'm doing what I want to do but listen when it comes to drug addiction clearly we don't know what we should be doing and that is one of the reasons why it's so important to humble yourself and listen to others but the issue is and it's so difficult like I wish the best for Taylor Nicole Dean I hope I hope she makes it through this all right like there is no guarantee that this is going to lead to a relapse but it it raises the chances of it if of it happening so I hope if or even when this thing goes south that she stays clean but the problem is we need to take suggestions from other people and the problem is is that when you're in the public spotlight like Taylor Nicole Dean is we have a bunch of people out there a bunch of stands if you will who are enabling and it is just so sad all right like so many people are like right like listen you don't have to personally be somebody's doctor to say hey you should probably take some cold medicine if you have a cold like addiction is addiction is addiction I've been doing this for seven years okay I was actually reading a book not too long ago about how we're living in this crazy time this crazy time where everybody thinks that their opinion is so valid even though they know nothing about the subject like I I asked a few people on Twitter yesterday I'm like are you in addiction recovery and they're like well no so why do you think what like what what crosses your mind to make you think that you would know better than somebody who has been clean for a while like if you check the comments of the video yesterday there are plenty of people in recovery who are like oh man this is a bad idea so the thing is it's like and here's a problem with stand culture and people in the public spotlight who are trying to overcome you know an addiction or even a mental illness or whatever it is people would rather appease the the celebrity appease that person then tell them what they need to hear they just want to be yes men like you guys when it comes to addiction yes men will kill you okay let me repeat that for the people in the back when it comes to addiction yes men will kill you okay I speak from experience when I was in my act of addiction this is why I'm so passionate about this in my act of addiction I had a bunch of yes people around me right every all the people who who love me and cared of me like they actually gave a crap wanted me to get better and they told me a bunch of things that I didn't want to hear I'd remove them from my life and I kept a bunch of people around me they said yeah Chris just do this yeah Chris you should do that like keep drinking keep using right I wasn't even allowed to see my son and I kept people around who told me it was a good idea to keep going out and partying like what so when I got clean I had to get rid of all those people I will always say this something that I learned and I hope a lot of you learn as well is we need to keep people around who tell us what we need to hear and not what we want to hear okay like and that's what baffles me when when you're sitting there and you're watching somebody like Taylor Nicole Dean make these bad decisions in her recovery right like how are you sitting there and saying okay okay like let's just let's just play this out let's rewind a little bit okay there's somebody who developed an addiction because of their ex-boyfriend not because of him but he played a major role in it developed a drug addiction okay so many people were concerned about the animals that she's taking care of okay she ended up going to rehab all right kept dating this dude relapsed went back to treatment okay went back to treatment just got out and now all of you think that this woman has everything figured out and she knows what's best for her like you guys it takes years for us to get back on track okay like not only do we have a lot of work to get to do like we need to figure out why why do we feel the need to have somebody why do we feel the need to like get somebody in our life who's going to show us love and affection and all these things so early in recovery when most of time we don't even know how to love ourselves yet why is that it takes time to figure these things out and if you want me to break down some science on that butt like it takes months sometimes even years for just the brain to balance out like in early recovery we are hot messes and one of the last things I want to say about that is a lot of people are like we're like commenting and saying oh I've been watching her Instagram stories and everything like that and she feels and she seems like she's manic or maybe she's getting loaded or whatever like I I don't like accusing people of relapsing okay but I just want you guys to understand like for a lot of us like when you take the drugs and alcohol away from us we act crazy as hell all right especially like somebody like myself like my drug of choice too was opioids like that kept me chill that kept me calm like a lot of people like oh Chris you're so hyper and you have so much energy it's because I'm not taking depressant drugs anymore okay so in early recovery it's quite common for people to have a lot of ups and downs for example you might have heard of the pink cloud many people when they first get sober they experience the pink cloud right where they think everything is just like amazing and they just want to scream it from the rooftops like oh my god I'm sober and nothing could stop me now and everything like that but when people say this too shall pass they only say it during the bad things I try to remember and also remind like clients who I teach this stuff like this too shall pass also applies to the good things as well so we need to keep a level head we need to realize that that life is going to happen eventually now that doesn't mean that we should be pessimistic and worry about the future because future tripping doesn't help either but we need to know like we have to keep working on our recovery like I just want to leave you guys with this okay if Taylor Nicole Dean was talking about recovery half as much as she was talking about this new dude things would be a lot different I want you guys to think about that because that's one of the primary reasons we say not to get in a relationship the first year because what people often do is they swap out their recovery program with him or her and it doesn't work out all right because we have a lot of work to do to figure out why we drink and use and we have to figure out how to not turn to drugs or alcohol when life happens and things get rough all right whoo all right I feel about a lot better anyways don't forget check out the description and the pinned comment below get yourself a copy of rewire your anxiety it'll help you a lot so if you deal with anxiety and you need other better coping mechanisms then drugs or alcohol or men or women check out rewire your anxiety I got a bunch of tips in there all right but that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you're all amazing if you would like to help support what I'm doing here get access some other perks and benefits additional copies of my books for free click the top right there all right thanks again so so much for watching I'll see you next time