 We are always so quick to point fingers and blame others for the bad things that happen to us in life However, the expression the enemy of a man is himself is what holds valid for us The worst parts that we usually don't recognize that it is even happening So we don't channel our efforts in the things that can make a difference in our lives in this video I will share with you nine ways you are subatage in yourself 1. You allow toxic people into your life Although it's normal to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life That doesn't mean it's unnecessary to do that from time to time Many times you stick to poisonous people not because you are not aware of the negativity They bring into your life But because you don't want to hurt them or you are scared that you will be lonely if you let them go But the more you keep them in your life the more harm you cause yourself Don't make room for people who cause you pain, belittle your ideas or make you feel inadequate about yourself If someone shows in their actions, they are willing to change then consider keeping them around But if they continue to show a disregard for your feelings then it may be time to let go Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty, but rather self-care as their stay will make your life toxic 2. You think everyone is out to get you Do you always feel suspicious about the actions of others? Do you see yourself always questioning people's motives? Then you probably are sabotaging yourself with that thinking The idea that every correction is an attempt to condemn your actions is a wrong mindset When you have that kind of mentality your brain is hardwired to collect information data and evidence and always plain defensive Even without being asked you are looking for evidence and data to prove a point People with this mindset are never able to learn and make corrections When other people try to point out certain general things they feel attacked and Assume that they are hated it begins with taking things personally and then assigning harmful intent to the Unintentional actions of others followed by the other hurtful feelings like anger low self-esteem etc 3 you always look to others for approval from the moment. We are born. We are told what to do What is right versus what is wrong? What success looks like and the list goes on? It's okay to seek answers in certain situations But as a whole it is not out of place to listen and take the counsel of others However, honoring your own beliefs and thinking for yourself is an important skill and muscle to grow Many individuals never grow up if when in adulthood they act like overgrown babies who sit and eat Only when they are asked to when you stop doing what everybody else wants you to do and start following your intuition You will find precisely what you're looking for a person who continually banks and others Approval before taking action is not truly living but only Existing for you view life as a win or lose Many individuals do not like to see things in a win-win way. They believe it is either a gain or a loss Although some areas of life may be outrightly defined as per win or lose like sports Perceiving everyone as an opponent is not an excellent way to live in life You're not in a competition with anyone the earlier you understand it the better your life will turn out to be In life, there is always someone smarter prettier and taller So instead of competing against what others may have or may not have Focus on improving yesterday's version of yourself an anonymous person once said if you compete with everyone else You will become bitter if you compete with a previous version of yourself You will become better the only person you compete with is yourself and the game is win or learn Five you try to please everyone else a clear sign that yourself sabotage in your life Is when you compromise yourself for the sake of pleasing others as a way to feel good about yourself In this way, you stop focusing on being who you are and only try to be who others want you to be No matter how hard you try you cannot please everyone and no matter how good you are not everyone will like you So you're probably wasting your time and resources and sabotaging yourself by being all things to everyone Accept yourself indeed. There is the part of making sacrifices for others Especially those happy but this should not become a habit If not for every other reason but for the fact that these same people may take your kindness for granted and end up manipulating you Six your fear of rejection is holding you back Here is an illustration of two friends Joe and Jack. Joe is the super talented perfectionist Who would rather keep to himself than step out and not get accepted? Jack on the other hand has a lower IQ than Joe but is ever ready to learn and give things a try Another comes by Joe astutely submits his presentation But refuses to show up for fear that it was not good enough. He would not be able to face the shame of rejection Jack goes for it with a little knowledge He has prepared to accept whatever the outcome is after critical examination Joe's presentation was the best among the others, but where is Joe? Joe is in his comfort zone his bedroom that never rejects him since Joe was nowhere to be found Jack who was available gets his slot Wait, don't be too quick to cast a stone on Joe. You are most likely guilty as well Think of the numerous times you have refrained from submitting that proposal original to that professional or even answering a potential business call because of your fears Just like Joe your fear of rejection is sabotaging your life big time Seven you don't have goals This is like the most significant sabotage among all Going through life without a goal is like embarking on a journey without a destination Goal setting is a critical aspect of life It is one of the crucial factors that distinguishes the poor from the rich It is the first step to greatness when you don't set goals for your life Your life is dependent on the flow of a river You can't control the direction is always the same and you don't get to say where you are headed However, when you have a goal instead of staying in the river you go to the margin of that river It is not just enough to have dreams fantasies and wishes It would help if you had a plan to pursue the idea Make the vision understandable and turn those wishes to smart goals Smart as the acronym for specific measurable achievable and relevant and time-based eight Not being present if you find that your mind is racing a mile a minute and dwelling on the past Then chances are you are not in the present moment. You can't change yesterday So stop trying but you can ruin today by worrying about tomorrow be present Tomorrow will reveal itself exactly as it should just as yesterday already has that's how it's supposed to be Today is a gift. That's why they call it the present being present does not only have professional benefits It also allows you to think clearly about situations and make wise decisions in the words of the Russian writer Leo Tolstoy There is only one critical time now it is the most critical time because it is the only time that we have any power nine You have analysis paralysis. I guess the anonymous individual who coined out the statement too much of everything is bad Refer to extremely critical individuals. How many times have you missed? Opportunity simply because you're making on-ending analysis in life We most often regret the chances we didn't take than the ones we considered but did not yield desired returns Waiting for the ducks to line up can sometimes take a lifetime if at all Indeed it is only right to do the appropriate Research before making decisions Sometimes lippin is better than no choice at all Often what we call being analytical is indecisiveness Indecisiveness delays the inevitable while taking a chance can teach you how to make better decisions and grows your confidence Worrying about how things might go wrong doesn't help things to go right Make do with the facts in your hands and make your decision Self-sabotage is a significant obstacle in life If you wish to be happy in life, you must detect those self-sabotage in red flags and deal with them