 Hello everyone Welcome to another Narc's Fiver live video a really big topic in this one When the narcissist meets someone new Which is probably something that most of you have experienced already and It's important to note That it really is all an illusion They want you to think that they've so quickly moved on To this new relationship And everything's fine and dandy They're doing great But that's just not the case at all It's an orchestration As I've said in many of my videos They know how to plan and coordinate the elements of a situation To coordinate the desired effect And the effect that they want to have is For you to be jealous For you to feel like you're missing out on something As though There's this whole other side to their personality That you never got to see And they're just taking that somewhere else And just giving that to the new person When that's really not how it is at all These narcissists are master manipulators They know how to make you think Of something differently than how it actually is They know how to do that very well Not because they're intelligent But because they've had years of practice And when you've had a lot of practice at something Naturally you're going to be very good at it I mean you've only got to remember the beginning of your relationship with the narcissist And how they love bombed you They told you whatever they thought you wanted to hear They showed you whatever they thought you wanted to see And then that's how they managed to lure you into the relationship Even though they weren't even about any of that They gave you false promises, future faking They presented this false character to you With these false beliefs, false values That was the love bombing And what you're seeing now When it appears as though they've moved on to someone new It's just the love bombing all over again It's just different this time because you're looking at it from the outside But it's not real It's just as fake as it was with you And that's what you need to know That's what they don't want you to know Because that it's not real And it serves two purposes Just as it may have served two purposes when they were with you On one hand it's designed to manipulate the target But then it's also designed to hurt whoever they were with before Those are the two purposes of the love bombing And it may seem as though they're really happy in the beginning I mean, when the narcissist meets someone new Yes, they do get this rush of excitement I don't know whether or not you could call it happiness I mean, you can't really tell a person how they feel But whatever it is the emotion isn't anywhere near like how we would experience happiness They don't have that emotional depth But yeah, they do get that rush of excitement In the beginning when they meet that new source It gives them such a thrill And that's what they're chasing when they leave you Because once they've been all around you for a certain amount of time Every supply has an expiry date And it loses its potency And no longer has the same effect as it once did And then that's where they go and find someone new And then they get that rush in the beginning Which looks like to you as though they're living their best lives When really they're not It isn't long until it comes to an end As you will probably know from your own experience with the narcissist How long did it take them until they began to devalue you As they meet another source Usually that period of love bombing Gets shorter and shorter Until It's almost happening simultaneously Go straight to the devaluation They treat them just as they did with you They give them insults and put downs Make them feel like they can never be good enough And here's the crazy thing about it Like this is Something that Is that the way that up until The discard phase when they get rid of you They're devaluing you They're telling you you're nothing They can list all of these problems that you have Or that they think you have They can tell you everything That they think is wrong about you But then they'll move on to a new source And while in the beginning During the love bombing phase Whatever they complained about to you They will Play the victim with a new source to lure them in But then when they move to the devaluation With the new source Then suddenly You become this perfect angel And everything they secretly Admired and valued about you They're then preaching to the new source And they're telling them all of this stuff And making the new source feel like they can never make it They measure up But you never hear about this You may never know about it But this is what's happening When they move to the devaluation phase With a new source They begin to idealize you again And they start saying all of this stuff about you They might say He or she Was more physically attractive than You are to the new source They might say you had more money You were more Motivated At life, at your job You had more things going on They will come up with all of this stuff Which could well be true They may Value and admire this stuff Which they never told you But then they're so quickly telling this To someone else And even if you managed to get in contact with the new source They're probably never going to tell you any of this But this is what's going on And you may never know about it So you think that they've moved on And they're so happy with this new person But in reality It gets to a point where they're constantly complaining about them And they're making them jealous About the relationship that they had with you But while all of this is going on You might be very upset You might be jealous of their relationship Because you don't know any of this It's crazy, it really is Like while they were with you They played down everything They made you feel so small But then when they get with the new source It's only a matter of time Until they're bigging you up They're making you seem like you're this Perfect, ideal Person to be with It's crazy, it really is But this is what they do And at the same time, while this is going on You're thinking that you weren't good enough You couldn't perform To the standard that they were expecting When that same standard Is what they're using On the new source To make them Their new workhorse Something to think about The narcissist has moved on And they're so much happier with someone else No Trust me At first they might be moving on And complaining about you They might be playing the victim To load that source in But then it's only a matter of time Until They put you on this pedestal And they put it To the new source And they're like This is the ideal That you need to achieve And the crazy thing is For the new source That's an impossible expectation Because despite What the narcissist may have told you About how they can move on so easily And find someone to replace you It's not that easy For someone else They're going to be looking at What the narcissist is telling them What they did for them And they're going to be thinking How the hell am I going to be able to achieve this The very things that the narcissist Always played down They minimized So yeah It really is an illusion These people are never Happy And you've only got to remember Everything you did for them All of the work you put in All of the time And effort Were they Ever really happy with that But we look at ourselves They make us look at ourselves And we think Maybe I just wasn't good enough But no That's not true You were more than good enough Don't let them ever tell you You weren't They talk to you for a reason The problem is They can never be satisfied Nothing you do will ever make them happy And it's not your job to make them happy We can only make ourselves happy If they're depending on you For their happiness and satisfaction That should tell you everything you need to know But yeah It's all an illusion It isn't real So don't let it get you down Don't let it affect you I just wanted to put this out there Because I know many of you Are going through this right now Maybe the Narc X I uploaded some pictures On social media The new person they're with And you're looking at it thinking Was I that bad That you had to leave me And move on to someone else Everything I did That wasn't good enough for you They can really put you in a dark place They can make you feel so small Because they triangulate you With this new person And Even though Who they moved on to may actually be a downgrade And many times it is It's just they've targeted your self-esteem For so long It doesn't matter who they get with You're still going to look at it As though that person's better than you You're going to see it that way Regardless Even if it's someone they tuck in from off the street Because they've crushed Your self-esteem To where you think They would be better off with anyone Other than you Sometimes you really need to look in the mirror Take a look at yourself for who you are Instead of how these narcissists Portrayed you to be Because trust me These narcissists want the best Of the best They want people who are Going somewhere People who are Successful People who look good And that was you So don't ever let them Make you think anything different You are a lot greater than they have led you to believe They will triangulate you The new supply Will try to make you feel small You just have to trust your own intuition Remember All of the work you put in Remind yourself They targeted you Or if you found them They chose to stay with you Because they Recognize The value that you possess Which is why It's normally only a matter of time That even When they meet the new source Once they begin devaluing them It's only a matter of time Until they come back They hoover you again It doesn't happen all the time But many times it does And that should just be another reminder That these people target The best They're arrogant Once they're around someone like you They think, ah I can do anything I can have anyone But then they go out there into the world And then they realize it's not so easy That's why they come back It's not really something To be proud of If you've been involved with one of these people Because they're looking for suckers They're looking for doormats And unfortunately People who are kind, caring, generous That's what we become That's why we have to Remember our needs Have strong boundaries Practice self-preservation And just make it difficult For these people to get in Because once they've got in Then they've got you But yeah That's the message for today Hopefully an important topic Can put you into a really dark place When you see this stuff Thank you all for joining me On another Narc Survivor Live video Just out here at the gym If you'd like to book it one on one with me I am now available for coaching So head to my website NarcSurvivor.co.uk Where you can book a session there Again Thank you all for joining me And you all have a great day