 Hey guys, me here with my terrible Ryan Gosling shirt again and I've got my buddy pager here because we are going to start reviewing the Resident Evil films. Why? Mainly because we've had this really odd sort of history with the film especially after afterlife where we laughed so fucking hard through that movie because of how awful it was. And now that the final chapter is coming we thought that it'd be good to review all of them and just watch a giant snowball turn into a giant shit ball as it slowly rolls down shit mountain. It's an avalanche of putrid film waste but it's like a guilty obsession. Yeah it is. Now for me honestly I actually really never played the games the only one that I ever played was Resident Evil 5 with Boulder punching Chris. Did you play them at all? Oh I'm a huge fan of the video games like I've played everything from the originals to the remakes of the originals to all the new stuff and actually just like the film franchise it just keeps getting worse and worse but you know I'm sick. So the first one we're reviewing is the one that was released in 2002 and it was written and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson not Paul Wes Anderson not Wes Anderson the one that no one really wants to talk about. But what if Wes Anderson made a Resident Evil movie? Would that be a little silly? It'd be so hipster. The zombies would just explode in rainbows and they all have like scarves. Yeah. So the first one I always imagined or at least from when I remembered I always thought the first one was the best one but after re-watching it if that was what I thought the first so the best one was I'm not looking forward to watching the rest because this film is not aged well. It's you know for its time for a video game movie it was not bad. No actually yeah it was probably the first one that said wow they actually can make these movies well. Like he doesn't really follow the filler scheme it has tidbits here and there but really he actually took his own little idea that Alice wakes up she has no memory who she is but then the rainbow team rainbow I've got my game squad yeah the umbrella's faceless operatives they appear and then she's got amnesia for some reason and then they go down to the hive because the hive had something happen to it which actually was kind of an interesting virus escaped and the computer system locked it down and killed everyone they go down there then they find out their zombies and they have to try and get out actually quite a simplistic sort of story and that's basically it. Yeah I mean I mentioned this during the film as we were watching it where the first one leaves a little bit of mystique and a lot of unanswered questions that at the very least while a lot of it is quite cheesy you do kind of want to find out what's going on whereas in the later movies they feel the need to over explain every plot point it can get pretty uh pretty awful yeah it does get pretty awful the thing that this film has there's a few moments that are stand out like obviously when Alice fights the dogs that was really cool especially without running in the wall and jump kick are actually I can't think of anything else everything else is pretty shitty it's so interesting how she sort of suddenly remembers that she has these Jason Bourne instincts to do this crazy Jason Bourne had just come out literally a year prior so then I do not doubt that had an effect on the story because this movie suffers from plot convenient amnesia when her husband all of a sudden just remembers everything all at once whereas Alice has remembered things in pieces and it's just so stupid at the end and the other thing too that really nips me about this movie is obviously it was made with a very limited budget you can tell not just with them with the hunter the liquor yeah but also with a new liquor that they have the new liquor but just also the zombies too because at one point Michelle Rodriguez gets bit by her old boyfriend and yet all the other zombies are kind of instead of biting her they're all like at a rave for some reason all like none of them are doing anything like one it's assassin's creed mentality one at a time yeah there's one point that I'll actually don't know the actor's name but one of the umbrella operatives he's you know separated from the rest of the team and the zombies are just all after him and you think he's pretty much done yeah but for whatever reason they're just tickling him and you know like you've seen like three scenes earlier they were more than happy to just jump in and start biting but for whatever reason here it's like let's give this character a chance well yeah that's the thing too this movie was rated r but this is like the lightest r zombie film I've ever seen there's no gore really there's blood like what's it the liquor when liquor attacks uh uh Alice's husband instead of ripping him apart more so just cover something like strawberry jam but uh I would say as far as gore goes the closest thing they got was when the liquor sort of transforms they created like that new form oh yeah a little bit of animatronics and yeah and there's that one zombie who when he first appears looked towards the camera and half his face is missing with really poor like yeah that was terrible green screen um okay one point that you did point out is that guy the guy we were talking about the tech guy yeah he's the one who actually goes through the most amount of character in this film because at first he's clearly the the weakest one of the group and at the end he like when well near the end you think that he's gonna kill himself but he can't bring himself to do it and he kind of has his own like and then he saves them right and you're all like oh sweet and then he gets fudged up by the liquor yeah I would say that the best character in this film was that tech guy you I think he was likable you can clearly see that he was acted well enough that and he was relatable exactly he was relatable and then he has the worst send-off he just dying he gets he literally gets plucked out of the story and that's it oh and then Mila Joan of Jovic Jovic Jovic Mila Mila Jovic for some reason I have this thought that her husband now of Paul WS WS Anderson just keeps on talking to her in the Swedish accent even though he's he's the part of the station of skating he's got the baby he's like all right Mila now have no no facial emotion all right Mila have a deadpan face Mila it's naked scene now look at she's so deadpan we've got this whole movie yeah what do we say she she went from oh like deadpan and confused a deadpan and confused a deadpan and assertive yeah so in your thoughts like I guy said like I thought this was the best one of them and I originally of the originally and now I'm really I'm really on the fence about any of them now like how's this film age to you from when you first saw it well when it first came out I think it was okay yeah the film you could go see and say oh this was based off the video game it's not too bad and it had a great soundtrack from Marilyn Manson yeah like the music is still used yeah I mean there was one guitar riff it sounds cool but you know it's the same thing every time they bring it up so when you hear it it's like that's that riff again but it was pretty good now looking back it's bad it's really it's watchable it's watchable at least with a grain of salt yeah exactly you have to like allow yourself to accept it's that the that the budget and the effects were as awful as so all right I'm gonna be really harsh for this but my rating for this is two out of seven two out of seven yeah I know it's just kind of make me wonder is if this is two out of seven and I thought this was the best one I'm gonna tear the shit out of the next one it's gonna be bad for the record second is my favorite bad probably give us a three that's three yeah okay as a hardcore fan of the franchise there's a lot of set development that they've done to sort of recreate the feeling of some of the scenes from like the video games so I appreciate that but for the average moviegoer it's similar to the warcraft movie if you're just you know you're walking into this movie you're gonna be like what the hell's going on here this doesn't make any sense but if you like the video games you're like you know I can appreciate the way they sit off this one scene so all right guys so that's the first one we've done of our of our oh god it's gonna be seven this is gonna be the build up to the last one the final one thank god it's over but yeah so these will come out periodically before the release of the seventh one which is in january so anyways so see you guys next time