 Chapter 5 of The Journal of John Wulman by John Wulman. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Devin Perts. Chapter 5, 1757, 1758. Considerations on the payment of a tax laid for carrying on the war against the Indians. Meetings of the Committee of the Yearly Meeting at Philadelphia. Some notes on Thomas A. Kempis and John Huss. The present circumstances of Friends in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, very different from those of our predecessors. The drafting of the militia in New Jersey to serve in the Army, with some observations on the state of the members of our society at that time. Visit to Friends in Pennsylvania, accompanying by Benjamin Jones, proceedings at the monthly, quarterly, and yearly meetings in Philadelphia, respecting those who keep slaves. A few years past, money being made current in our province for carrying on wars, and to be called in again by taxes laid on the inhabitants, my mind was often affected with the thoughts of paying such taxes, and I believe it right for me to preserve a memorandum concerning it. I was told that Friends in England frequently paid taxes when the money was applied to such purposes. I had conversation with several noted friends on the subject who all favored the payment of such taxes. Some of them I preferred before myself, and this made me easier for a time, yet there was in the depth of my mind a scruple which I never could get over, and at certain times I was greatly distressed on that account. I believe that there were some upright-hearted men who paid such taxes, yet could not see that their example was a sufficient reason for me to do so, while I believe that the spirit of truth required of me as an individual to suffer patiently the distress of goods rather than pay actively. To refuse the act of payment of a tax which our society generally paid was exceedingly disagreeable, but to do a thing contrary to my conscience appeared yet more dreadful. When this exercise came upon me, I knew of none under the like difficulty, and in my distress I besaunt the Lord to enable me to give up all that so I might follow him wheresoever he was pleased to lead me. Under this exercise I went to our yearly meeting at Philadelphia in the year 1755, at which a committee was appointed of some from each quarterly meeting to correspond with the meetings for sufferers in London and another to visit our monthly and quarterly meetings. After their appointment before the last adjournment of the meeting, it was agreed that these two committees should meet together and friend schoolhouse in the city to consider some things in which the cause of truth was concerned. They accordingly had a weighty conference in the fear of the Lord, at which time I perceived there were many friends under a scruple like that before mentioned. As scrupling to pay a tax on account of the application hath seldom been heard of, here too for, even amongst men of integrity, who have steadily borne their testimony against outward wars in their time, I may therefore note some things which have occurred to my mind as I have been inwardly exercised on that account. From the steady opposition which faithful friends in early times made to wrong things then improved, they were hated and persecuted by men living in the spirit of this world and suffering with firmness, they were made a blessing to the church and the work prospered. It equally concerns men in every age to take heed to their own spirits and comparing their situation with ours, to me it appears that there was less danger of their being infected with the spirit of this world and paying such taxes than is the case with us now. They had little or no share in civil government and many of them declared that they were, through the power of God, separated from the spirit in which wars were and being afflicted by the rulers on account of their testimony, there was less likelihood of their uniting in spirit with them and things inconsistent with the purity of truth. We, from the first settlement of this land, have known little or no troubles of that sort. The profession of our predecessors was, for a time, accounted reproachful, but at length their uprightness being understood by the rulers and their innocent sufferings moving them, our way of worship was tolerated and many of our members in these colonies became active in civil government. Being thus tried with favor and prosperity, this world appeared inviting. Our minds have been turned to the improvement of our country to merchandise and the sciences amongst which are many things useful if followed in pure wisdom, but in our present condition, I believe it will not be denied that a carnal mind is gaining upon us. Some of our members who are officers in civil government are, in one case or other, called upon in their respective stations to assist in things relative to the wars, but being in doubt whether to act or to crave to be excused from their office if they see their brethren united in the payment of attacks to carry on the said wars may think their case not much different and so might quench the tender movings of the Holy Spirit in their minds. Thus, by small degrees, we might approach so near to fighting that the distinction would be little else than the name of a peaceable people. It requires great self-denial and resignation of ourselves to God to attain that state wherein we can freely cease from fighting when wrongfully invaded if, by our fighting, there were a probability of overcoming the invaders. Whoever rightly attains to it does, in some degree, feel that spirit in which our Redeemer gave his life for us and through divine goodness, many of our predecessors and many now living have learned this blessed lesson. But many others, having their religion chiefly by education and not being enough acquainted with that cross which crucifies to the world, do manifest a temper distinguishable from that of an entire trust in God. In calmly considering these things, it hath not appeared strange to me that an exercise hath now fallen upon some, which, with respect to the outward means, is different from what was known to many of those who went before us. Sometime after the yearly meeting, the said committees met at Philadelphia and, by adjournments, continued sitting several days. The calamities of war were now increasing. The frontier and habitants of Pennsylvania were frequently surprised. Some were slain and many taken captive by the Indians. And while these committees sat, the corpse of one so slain was brought in a wagon and taken through the streets of the city in his bloody garments to alarm the people and rouse them to war. Friends thus met were not all of one mind in relation to the tax, which, to those who scrupled it, made the way more difficult. To refuse an act of payment at such a time might be construed into an act of disloyalty and appeared likely to displease the rulers, not only here, but in England. Still, there was a scruple so fixed on the minds of many friends that nothing moved it. It was a conference the most weighty that ever I was at, and the hearts of many were bowed in reverence before the most high. Some friends of the said committees who appeared easy to pay the tax after several adjournments withdrew, others of them continued till the last. At length an epistle of tender love and caution to friends in Pennsylvania was drawn up, and being read several times and corrected was signed by such as were free to sign it, and afterward sent to the monthly and quarterly meetings. 9th of 8th month, 1757. Orders came at night to the military officers in our county, Burlington, directing them to draft the militia and prepare a number of men to go off as soldiers to the relief of the English at Fort William Henry in New York government. A few days after which there was a general review of the militia at Mount Holly, and a number of men were chosen and sent off under some officers. Shortly after there came orders to draft three times as many who were to hold themselves in readiness to march when fresh orders came. On the 17th there was a meeting of the military officers at Mount Holly who agreed on draft. Orders were sent to the men so chosen to meet their respective captains at set times and places. Those in our township to meet at Mount Holly amongst whom were a considerable number of our society. My mind being affected herewith, I had fresh opportunity to see and consider the advantage of living in the real substance of religion where practice doth harmonize with principle. Amongst the officers are men of understanding who have some regard to sincerity where they see it. And when such in the execution of their office have meant to deal with whom they believed to be upright-hearted, it is a painful task to put them to trouble on account of scruples of conscience and they will be likely to avoid it as much as easily may be. But where men profess to be so meek and heavenly minded and to have their trust so firmly settled in God that they cannot join in wars and yet by their spirit and conduct in common life manifest a contrary disposition, their difficulties are great at such a time. When officers who are anxiously endeavoring to get troops to answer the demands of their superiors see men who are insincere, pretend scruple of conscience in hopes of being excused from a dangerous employment, it is likely they will be roughly handled. In this time of commotion, some of our young men left these parts and tarried abroad till it was over. Some came and proposed to go as soldiers. Others appeared to have a real tender scruple in their minds against joining in wars and were much humbled under the apprehension of a trial so near. I had conversational several of them to my satisfaction. When the captain came to town, some of the last mentioned went and told him in substance as follows that they could not bear arms for conscience's sake nor could they hire any to go in their places being resigned as to the event. At length the captain acquainted them all that they might return home for the present but he required them to provide themselves as soldiers and be in readiness to march when called upon. This was such a time as I had not seen before and yet I may say with thankfulness to the Lord that I believe the trial was intended for our good and I was favored with resignation to him. The French army having taken the fort, they were besieging, destroyed it and went away. The company of men who were first drafted after some days' march had orders to return home and those on the second draft were no more called upon on that occasion. Fourth of fourth month, 1758, orders came to some officers in Mount Holly to prepare quarters for a short time for about 100 soldiers. An officer and two other men, all inhabitants of our town came to my house. The officer told me that he came to desire me to provide lodging and entertainment for two soldiers and that six shillings a week per man would be allowed as pay for it. The case being new and unexpected, I made no answer suddenly but sad a time silent, my mind being inward. I was fully convinced that the proceedings and wars are inconsistent with the purity of the Christian religion and to be hired to entertain men who were then under to pay as soldiers was a difficulty with me. I expected they had legal authority for what they did and after a short time I said to the officer, if the men are sent here for entertainment, I believe I shall not refuse to admit them into my house but the nature of the case is such that I expect I cannot keep them on hire. One of the men intimated that he thought I might do it consistently with my religious principles to which I made no reply believing silence at that time best for me. Though they spake of two, there came only one who tarried at my house about two weeks and behaved himself civilly. When the officer came to pay me, I told him I could not take pay having admitted him into my house in a passive obedience to authority. I was on horseback when he spake to me and as I turned from him, he said he was obliged to me to which I said nothing but thinking on the expression, I grew uneasy and afterwards, being near where he lived, I went and told him on what grounds I refused taking pay for keeping the soldier. I have been informed that Thomas A. Kempis lived and died in the profession of the Roman Catholic religion and in reading his writings, I believed him to be a man of a true Christian spirit as fully so as many who died martyrs because they could not join with some superstitions in that church. All true Christians are of the same spirit but their gifts are diverse. Jesus Christ, appointing to each one his peculiar office, agreeably to his infinite wisdom. John Huss contended against the heiress which had crept into the church in opposition to the Council of Constance which the historian reports to have consisted of some thousand persons. He modestly vindicated the cause which he believed was right and though his language and conduct towards his judges appeared to have been respectful, yet he never could be moved from the principle settled in his mind. To use his own words, this I most humbly require and desire of you all even for his sake who is the God of us all that I be not compelled to the thing which my conscience doth repune or strive against. And again, in his answer to the emperor, I refuse nothing, most noble emperor, whatsoever the council shall decree or determine upon me, only this one thing I accept that I do not offend God and my conscience. At length, rather than act contrary to that which he believed the Lord required of him, he chose to suffer death by fire. Thomas A. Kempis, without disputing against the articles then generally agreed to, appears to have labored by a pious example as well as by preaching and writing to promote virtue in the inward spiritual religion and I believe they were both sincere-hearted followers of Christ. True charity is an excellent virtue and sincerely to labor for their good whose belief in all points doth not agree with ours as a happy state. Near the beginning of the year 1758, I went one evening and company with a friend to visit a sick person and before our return we were told of a woman living near who had for several days been disconsolate. Occasioned by a dream wherein death and the judgments of the Almighty after death were represented to her mind in a moving manner. Her sadness on that account being worn off, the friend with whom I was in company went to see her and had some religious conversation with her and her husband. With this visit they were somewhat affected and the man with many tears expressed his satisfaction. In a short time after the poor man being on the river in a storm of wind was with one more drowned. Eighth month, 1758, having had drawings in my mind to be at the quarterly meeting in Chester County and at some meetings in the County of Philadelphia I went first to said quarterly meeting which was large. Several weighty matters came under consideration and debate and the Lord was pleased to qualify some of his servants with strength and firmness to bear the burden of the day. Though I said but little my mind was deeply exercised and under a sense of God's love and the anointing and fitting of some young men for his work I was comforted and my heart was tendered before him. From hence I went to the youth's meeting at Darby where my beloved friend and brother Benjamin Jones met me by appointment before I left home to join in the visit. We were at Radner, Marion, Richland, North Wales, Plymouth and Abington meetings and had caused to bow in reverence before the Lord our gracious God by whose help way was open for us from day to day. I was out about two weeks and wrote about 200 miles. The monthly meeting of Philadelphia having been under a concern on account of some friends who this summer, 1758, had bought Negro slaves, proposed to their quarterly meeting to have the minute reconsidered in the yearly meeting which was made last on that subject and the said quarterly meeting appointed a committee to consider it and to report to their next. This committee having met once and adjourned and I going to Philadelphia to meet a committee of the yearly meeting was in town the evening on which the quarterly meetings committee met the second time and finding an inclination to sit with them, I with some others was admitted and friends had a weighty conference on the subject. Soon after their next quarterly meeting I heard that the case was coming to a yearly meeting. This brought a weighty exercise upon me and under a sense of my own infirmities and the great danger I felt of turning aside from perfect purity, my mind was often drawn to retire alone and put up my prayers to the Lord that he would be graciously pleased to strengthen me that setting aside all views of self-interest and the friendship of this world I might stand fully resigned to his holy will. In this yearly meeting several weighty matters were considered and toward the last that in relation to dealing with persons who purchased slaves. During the several sittings of the said meeting my mind was frequently covered with inward prayer and I could say with David that tears were my meat day and night. The case of slavekeeping lay heavy upon me nor did I find any engagement to speak directly to any other matter before the meeting. Now when this case was opened several faithful friends spake weightily there too with which I was comforted and feeling a concern to cast in my might I said in substance as follows. In the difficulties attending us in this life nothing is more precious than the mind of truth inwardly manifested and it is my earnest desire that in this weighty manner we may be so truly humbled as to be favored with a clear understanding of the mind of truth and follow it. This would be of more advantage to the society than any medium not in the clearness of divine wisdom. The case is difficult to some who have slaves but if such set aside all self-interest and come to be weaned from the desire of getting estates or even from holding them together when truth requires the contrary I believe way will so open that they will know how to steer through those difficulties. Many friends appeared to be deeply bowed under the weight of the work and manifested much firmness in their love to the cause of truth and universal righteousness on the earth and though none did openly justify the practice of slavekeeping in general yet some appeared concerned lest the meeting should go into such measures as might give uneasiness to many brethren alleging that if friends patiently continued under the exercise the Lord in his time might open a way for the deliverance of these people. Finding an engagement to speak I said my mind is often led to consider the purity of the divine being and the justice of his judgments and herein my soul is covered with awfulness. I cannot admit to hint of some cases where people have not been treated with the purity of justice and the event have been lamentable. Many slaves on this continent are oppressed and their cries have reached the ears of the most high. Such are the purity and certainty of his judgments that he cannot be partial in our favor. In infinite love and goodness he hath opened our understanding from one time to another concerning our duty towards this people and it is not a time for delay. Should we now be sensible of what he requires of us and through a respect to the private interest of some persons or through a regard to some friendships which do not stand on an immutable foundation, neglect to do our duty and firmness and constancy, still waiting for some extraordinary means to bring about their deliverance, God may by terrible things and righteousness answer us in this matter. Many faithful brethren labored with great firmness and the love of truth in a good degree prevailed. Several who had Negroes expressed their desire that a rule might be made to deal with such friends as offenders who bought slaves in the future. To this it was answered that the root of this evil would never be effectually struck at until a thorough search was made in the circumstances of such friends as kept Negroes with respect to the righteousness of their motives and keeping them. That impartial justice might be administered throughout. Several friends expressed their desire that a visit might be made to such friends as kept slaves and many others said that they believed Liberty was the Negro's right, to which, at length, no opposition was publicly made. A minute was made more full on that subject than any here or to for, and the names of several friends entered who were free to join in a visit to such as kept slaves. End of Chapter 5. Recording by Devin Perts, El Paso, Texas. Chapter 6 of The Journal of John Wulman by John Wulman. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Recording by Devin Perts. Chapter 6, 1758, 1759. Visit to the quarterly meetings in Chester County. Joins Daniel Stanton and John Scarborough in a visit to such as kept slaves there. Some observations on the conduct which those should maintain who speak in meetings for discipline. More visits to such as kept slaves and to friends near Salem. Account of the yearly meeting in the year 1759 and of the increasing concern and diverse provinces to labor against buying and keeping slaves. The yearly meeting epistle, thoughts on the smallpox spreading and on inoculation. 11th of 11th month, 1758. This day I set out for Concord. The quarterly meeting here to for held there was now by reason of a great increase of members divided into two by the agreement of friends at our last yearly meeting. Here I met with our beloved friends, Samuel Spavold and Mary Kirby from England and with Joseph White from Bucks County. The latter had taken leave of his family in order to go on a religious visit to friends in England and through divine goodness we were favored with a strengthening opportunity together. After this meeting I joined with my friends, Daniel Stanton and John Scarborough in visiting friends who had slaves. At night we had a family meeting at William Trimbles, many young people being there and it was a precious, reviving opportunity. Next morning we had a comfortable sitting with a sick neighbor and then to the burial of the corpse of a friend at Uchland meeting at which were many people and it was a time of divine favor after which we visited some who had slaves. In the evening we had a family meeting at a friend's house where the channel of the gospel love was opened and my mind was comforted after a hard day's labor. The next day we were at Goshen monthly meeting and on the 18th attended the quarterly meeting at London Grove, it being first held at that place. Here we met again with all the before mentioned friends and had some edifying meetings. Near the conclusion of the meeting for business, friends were incited to constancy in supporting the testimony of truth and reminded of the necessity which the disciples of Christ are under to attend principally to his business as he is pleased to open it to us and to be particularly careful to have our minds redeemed from the love of wealth and our outward affairs in as little room as may be that no temporal concerns may entangle our affections or hinder us from diligently following the dictates of truth and laboring to promote the pure spirit of meekness and heavenly mindedness amongst the children of men in these days of calamity and distress wherein God is visiting our land with his just judgments. Each of these quarterly meetings was large and sat near eight hours. I had occasion to consider that it is a weighty thing to speak much in large meetings for business for except our minds are rightly prepared and we clearly understand the case we speak to instead of forwarding, we hinder business and make more labor for those on whom the burden of the work is laid. If selfish views or a partial spirit have any room in our minds, we are unfit for the Lord's work. If we have a clear prospect of the business and proper weight on our minds to speak, we should avoid useless apologies and repetitions where people are gathered from far and adjourning a meeting of business as attended with great difficulty. It behooves all to be cautious how they detain a meeting, especially when they have sat six or seven hours and have a great distance to ride home. After this meeting I rode home. In the beginning of the 12th month I joined in company with my friends John Sykes and Daniel Stanton in visiting such as had slaves. Some whose hearts were rightly exercised about them appeared to be glad of our visit but in some places our way was more difficult. I often saw the necessity of keeping down to that root from whence our concern proceeded and have cause and reverent thankfulness humbly to bow down before the Lord who was near to me and preserve my mind and calmness under some sharp conflicts and begat a spirit of sympathy and tenderness in me towards some who were grievously entangled by the spirit of this world. First month, 1759. Having found my mind drawn to visit some of the more active members in our society at Philadelphia who had slaves, I met my friend John Churchman there by agreement and we continued about a week in the city. We visited some that were sick and some widows and their families and the other part of our time was mostly employed in visiting such as had slaves. It was a time of deep exercise but looking often to the Lord for his assistance. He and unspeakable kindness favored us with the influence of that spirit which crucifies to the greatness and splendor of this world and enabling us to go through some heavy labors in which we found peace. 24th of third month, 1759. After attending our general spring meeting at Philadelphia, I again joined with John Churchman on a visit to some who had slaves in Philadelphia and with thankfulness to our Heavenly Father, I may say that divine love and a true sympathizing tenderness of heart prevailed at times in this service. Having at times perceived a shyness and some friends of considerable note towards me, I found an engagement and gospel love to pay a visit to one of them and as I dwelt under the exercise, I felt a resignness in my mind to go and tell him privately that I had a desire to have an opportunity with him alone to this proposal who readily agreed and then in the fear of the Lord, things relating to that shyness were searched to the bottom and we had a large conference which I believe was of use to both of us and I am thankful that way was open for it. 14th of sixth month, having felt drawings in my mind to visit friends about Salem and having the approbation of our monthly meeting, I attended their quarterly meeting and was out seven days and attended seven meetings and some of them I was chiefly silent and others through the baptizing power of truth, my heart was enlarged in heavenly love and I found a near fellowship with the brethren and sisters in the manifold trials attending their Christian progress through this world. Seventh month, I have found an increasing concern on my mind to visit some active members in our society who have slaves and having no opportunity of the company of such as were named in the minutes of the yearly meeting, I went alone to their houses and in the fear of the Lord acquainted them with the exercise I was under and thus sometimes by a few words, I found myself discharged from a heavy burden. After this, our friend John Churchman coming into our province with the view to be at some meetings and to join again in the visit to those who had slaves, I bore him company in the said visit to some active members and found inward satisfaction. At our yearly meeting this year, we had some weighty seasons in which the power of truth was largely extended to the strengthening of the honest-minded. As the epistles which were to be sent to the yearly meetings on this continent were read, I observed that in most of them both this year and the last, it was recommended to friends to labor against buying and keeping slaves and in some of them the subject was closely treated upon. As this practice hath long been a heavy exercise to me and I have often waited through mortifying labors on that account and at times in some meetings have been almost alone therein, I was humbly bowed in thankfulness and observing the increase in concern in our religious society and seeing how the Lord was raising up and qualifying servants for his work, not only in this respect but for promoting the cause of truth in general. This meeting continued near a week. For several days in the fore part of it my mind was drawn into a deep inward stillness and being at times covered with the spirit of supplication my heart was secretly poured out before the Lord. Near the conclusion of the meeting from business a way opened in the pure flowings of divine love for me to express what lay upon me which as it then arose in my mind was first to show how deep answers to deep in the hearts of the sincere and upright though in their different growths they may not all have attained to the same clearness in some points relating to our testimony and I was then led to mention the integrity and constancy of many martyrs who gave their lives for the testimony of Jesus and yet in some points they held doctrines distinguishable from some which we hold that in all ages where people were faithful to the light and understanding which the most high afforded them they found acceptance with them and though there may be different ways of thinking amongst us in some particulars yet if we mutually keep to that spirit and power which crucifies to the world which teaches us to be content with things really needful and to avoid all superfluities and give up our hearts to fear and serve the Lord true unity may still be preserved amongst us that if those who were at times under sufferings on account of some scruples of conscience kept low and humble and in their conduct in life manifested a spirit of true charity it would be more likely to reach the witness and others and be of more service in the church than if their sufferings were attended with the contrary spirit and conduct in this exercise I was drawn into a sympathizing tenderness with the sheep of Christ however distinguished one from another in this world and the like disposition appeared to spread over others in the meeting great is the goodness of the Lord towards his poor creatures an epistle went forth from this yearly meeting which I think good to give a place in this journal it is as follows from the yearly meeting held at Philadelphia for Pennsylvania and New Jersey from the 22nd day of the 9th month to the 28th of the same inclusive 1759 to the quarterly and monthly meetings of friends belonging to the said yearly meeting dearly beloved friends and brethren in an awful sense of the wisdom and goodness of the Lord our God whose tender mercies have been continued to us in this land we affectionately salute you with sincere and fervent desires that we may reverently regard the dispensations of his providence and improve under them the empires and kingdoms of the earth are subject to his almighty power he is the God of the spirits of all flesh and deals with his people agreeable to that wisdom the depth were of is to us unsearchable we in these provinces may say he hath as a gracious and tender parent dealt bountifully with us even from the days of our fathers it was he who strengthened them to labor through the difficulties attending the improvement of a wilderness and made way for them in the hearts of the natives so that by them they were comforted in times of want and distress it was by the gracious influences of his holy spirit that they were disposed to work righteousness and walk up early towards each other and towards the natives and life and conversation to manifest the excellency of the principles and doctrines of the Christian religion whereby they retain their esteem and friendship whilst they were laboring for the necessaries of life many of them were fervently engaged to promote piety and virtue in the earth and to educate their children in the fear of the Lord if we carefully consider the peaceable measures pursued in the first settlement of land and that freedom from the desolations of wars which for a long time we enjoyed we shall find ourselves under strong obligations to the almighty who when the earth is so generally polluted with wickedness gives us a being and a part so signally favored with tranquility and plenty and in which the glad tidings of the Gospel of Christ are so freely published that we may justly say with a psalmist what shall we render unto the Lord for all his benefits our own real good and the good of our posterity in some measure depends on the part we act and it nearly concerns us to try our foundations impartially such are the different rewards of the just and unjust in a future state that to attend diligently to the dictates of the spirit of Christ to devote ourselves to his service and to engage fervently in his cause during our short stay in this world is a choice while becoming a free, intelligent creature we shall thus clearly see and consider that the dealings of God with mankind in a national capacity as recorded in Holy writ do sufficiently evidence the truth of that saying it is righteousness which exalteth a nation and though he doth not at all times suddenly execute his judgments on a sinful people in this life yet we see in many instances that when men follow lying vanities they forsake their own mercies and as a proud selfish spirit prevails and spreads among a people so partial judgment, oppression, discord, envy and confusions increase and provinces and kingdoms are made to drink the cup of adversity as a reward of their own doings thus the inspired prophet reasoning with the degenerated Jews saith thine own wickedness shall correct thee and thy backsliding shall reprove thee know therefore that it is an evil thing and bitter that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God and that my fear is not in thee saith the Lord God of hosts Jeremiah 2 19 the God of our fathers who hath bestowed on us many benefits furnished a table for us in the wilderness and made the deserts and solitary places to rejoice he doth now mercifully call upon us to serve him more faithfully we may truly say with the prophet it is his voice which cryeth to the city and men of wisdom see his name they regard the rod and him who hath appointed it people who look chiefly at things outward too little consider the original cause of the present troubles but they who fear the Lord and think often upon his name see and feel that a wrong spirit is spreading amongst the inhabitants of our country that the hearts of many are waxed fat and their ears dull of hearing that the most high in his visitations to us instead of calling lifteth up his voice and cryeth he cryeth to our country and his voice waxeth louder and louder in former wars between English and other nations since the settlement of our provinces the calamities attending them have fallen chiefly on other places but now of late they have reached to our borders many of our fellow subjects have suffered on and near our frontiers some have been slain in battle some killed in their houses and some in their fields some wounded and left in great misery and others separated from their wives and little children who have been carried captives among the Indians we have seen men and women who have been witnesses of these scenes of sorrow and being reduced to want have come to our houses asking relief it is not long since that many young men and one of these provinces were drafted in order to be taken as soldiers some were at that time in great distress and had occasion to consider that their lives had been too little conformable to the purity and spirituality of that religion which we profess and found themselves too little acquainted with that inward humility in which true fortitude to endure hardness for the truth's sake is experienced many parents were concerned for their children and in that time of trial were led to consider that their care to get outward treasure for them had been greater than their care for their settlement in that religion which crucifyeth to the world and enableeth to bear testimony to the peaceable government of the Messiah these troubles are removed and for a time we are released from them let us not forget that the most high hath his way in the deep in clouds and in thick darkness that it is his voice which cryeth to the city and to the country and oh that these loud and awakening cries may have a proper effect upon us that heavier chastisement may not become necessary for those things as to the outward may for a short time afford a pleasing prospect yet while a selfish spirit that is not subject to the cross of Christ continueeth to spread and prevail there can be no long continuance in outward peace and tranquillity if we desire an inheritance incorruptible and to be at rest in that state of peace and happiness whichever continues if we desire in this life to dwell under the favor and protection of that almighty being whose habitation is in holiness whose ways are all equal and whose anger is now kindled because of our backslidings let us then awfully regard these beginnings of his sword judgments and with the basement and humiliation turn to him whom we have offended contending with one equal in strength is an uneasy exercise but if the Lord has become our enemy if we persist in contending with him who is omnipotent our overthrow will be unavoidable do we feel an affectionate regard to posterity and are we employed to promote their happiness do our minds and things outward look beyond our own dissolution and are we contriving for the prosperity of our children after us let us then like wise builders lay the foundation deep and by our constant uniform regard to an inward piety and virtue let them see that we really value it let us labor in the fear of the Lord that their innocent minds while young and tender maybe preserved from corruptions that as they advance in age they may rightly understand their true interest may consider the uncertainty of temporal things and above all have their hope and confidence firmly settled in the blessings of that almighty being who inhabits eternity and preserves and supports the world and all our cares about worldly treasures let us steadily bear in mind that riches possessed by children who do not truly serve God are likely to prove snares that may more grievously entangle them in that spirit of selfishness and exaltation which stands in opposition to real peace and happiness and renders those who submit to the influence of the enemies to the cross of Christ to keep a watchful eye towards real objects of charity to visit the poor and their lonesome dwelling places to comfort those who through the dispensations of divine providence are in straight and painful circumstances in this life and steadily to endeavor to honor God with our substance from a real sense of the love of Christ influencing our minds is more likely to bring a blessing to our children and will afford more satisfaction to a Christian favored with plenty than an earnest desire to collect much wealth to leave behind us for here we have no continuing city may we therefore diligently seek one that is to come whose builder and maker is God finally brethren whatsoever things are true whatsoever things are just whatsoever things are pure whatsoever things are lovely whatsoever things are of good report if there be any virtue if there be any praise think on these things and do them and the God of peace shall be with you signed by appointment and on behalf of said meeting twenty-eighth eleventh month this day i attended the quarterly meeting in bux county in the meeting of ministers and elders my heart was enlarged in the love of jesus christ and the favor of the most high was extended to us in that and the ensuing meeting i had conversation at my lodging with my beloved friend samuel eastburn who expressed a concern to join in the visit to some friends in that county who had negroes and as i felt a drawing in my mind to the said work i came home and put things in order on eleventh of twelfth month i went over the river and on the next day was at buckingham meeting where through the descendants of heavenly do my mind was comforted and drawn into a near unity with the flock of jesus christ entering upon this business appeared weighty and before i left home my mind was often sad under which exercise i felt at times the holy spirit which helps our infirmities and through which my prayers were at times put up to god in private that he would be pleased to purge me from all selfishness that i might be strengthened to discharge my duty faithfully how hard so ever to the natural part we proceeded on the visit in a weighty frame of spirit and went to the houses of the most active members who had negroes throughout the county through the goodness of the lord my mind was preserved in resignation in times of trial and though the work was hard to nature yet through the strength of that love which is stronger than death tenderness of heart was often felt amongst us in our visits and we parted from several families with greater satisfaction than we expected we visited joseph whites family he being in england we had also a family sitting at the house of an elder who bore us company and what make feel on the first day at all which times my heart was truly thankful to the lord who was graciously pleased to renew his loving kindness to us his poor servants uniting us together in his work in the winter of this year smallpox being in our town and many being inoculated of whom a few died some things were opened in my mind which i wrote as follows the more fully our lives are conformable to the will of god the better it is for us i have looked on the smallpox as a messenger from the almighty to be an assistant in the cause of virtue and to incite us to consider whether we employ our time only in such things as our consistent with perfect wisdom and goodness building houses suitable to dwell in for ourselves and our creatures preparing clothing suitable for the climate in season and food convenient are all duties incumbent on us and under these general heads are many branches of business in which we may venture health and life as necessity may require this disease being in a house and my business calling me to go near it incites me to consider whether this is a real indispensable duty whether it is not conformity to some custom which would be better laid aside or whether it does not proceed from to eager pursuit after some outward treasure if the business before me springs not from a clear understanding and in regard to that use of things which perfect wisdom proves to be brought to a sense of it and stopped in my pursuit is a kindness for when i proceed to business without some evidence of duty i have found by experience that it tends to weakness if i am so situated that there appears no probability of missing the infection it tends to make me think whether my manner of life and things outward has nothing in it which may unfit my body to receive this messenger in a way the most favorable to me do i use food and drink and no other sort and no other degree than was designed by him who gave these creatures for our sustenance do i never abuse my body by an ordinate labor striving to accomplish some and which i have unwisely proposed do i use action enough in some useful employ or do i sit too much idle while some persons who labor to support me have too great a share of it and any of these things i am deficient to be incited to consider it as a favor to me employment is necessary in social life and this infection which often proves mortal incites me to think whether these social acts of mine are real duties if i go on a visit to the widows and fatherless do i go purely on a principle of charity free from any selfish views if i go to a religious meeting it puts me on thinking whether i go in sincerity and in a clear sense of duty or whether it is not partly in conformity to custom or partly from a sensible delight which my animal spirits feel in the company of other people and whether to support my reputation as a religious man has no share in it do affairs relating to civil society call me near this infection if i go it is at the hazard of my health and life and it becomes me to think seriously whether love to truth and righteousness is the motive of my attending whether the manner of proceeding is altogether equitable or whether ought of narrowness, party interest respect to outward dignities, names or distinctions among men do not stain the beauty of those assemblies and render it doubtful in point of duty whether a disciple of christ ought to attend as a member united to the body or not whenever there are blemishes which for a series of time remain such that which is a means of stirring us up to look attentively on these blemishes and to labor according to our capacities to have health and soundness restored in our country we may justly account a kindness from our gracious father who appointed that means the care of a wise and good man for his only son is inferior to the regard of the great parent of the universe for his creatures he hath the command of all the powers and operations in nature and doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men chastisement is intended for instruction and instruction being received by gentle chastisement greater calamities are prevented by an earthquake hundreds of houses are sometimes shaken down in a few minutes multitudes of people perish suddenly and many more being crushed and bruised in the ruins of the buildings pine away and die in great misery by the breaking in of enraged merciless armies flourishing countries have been laid waste great numbers of people have perished in a short time and many more have been pressed with poverty and grief by the pestilence people have died so fast in a city that through fear grief and confusion those in health have found great difficulty in burying the dead even without coffins by famine great numbers of people in some places have been brought to the utmost distress and have pined away from want of the necessaries of life thus when the kind invitations and gentle chastisements of a gracious god have not been attended to his sword judgments have at times been poured out upon people while some rules approved in civil society and conformable to human policy so-called are distinguishable from the purity of truth and righteousness while many professing the truth are declining from that ardent love and heavenly mindedness which was amongst the primitive followers of jesus christ it is time for us to attend diligently to the intent of every chastisement and to consider the most deep and inward design of them the most high doth not often speak with an outward voice to our outward ears but if we humbly meditate on his perfections consider that he is perfect wisdom and goodness and that to afflict his creatures to no purpose would be utterly averse to his nature we shall hear and understand his language both in his gentle and more heavy chastisements and shall take heed that we do not in the wisdom of this world endeavor to escape his hand by means too powerful for us had he endowed men with understanding to prevent this disease the smallpox by means which had never proved hurtful nor mortal such a discovery might be considered as the period of chastisement by this distemper where that knowledge extended but as life and health are his gifts and are not to be disposed of in our own wills to take upon us by an oculation when in health a disorder of which some die requires great clearness of knowledge that it is our duty to do so end of chapter six recording by devin perts alpaso texas chapter seven of the journal of john wolman this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox dot org recording by phyllis vincelli the journal of john wolman by john wolman chapter seven seventeen sixty in company with samuel eastburn to long island road island boston etc remarks on the slave trade at newport also on lotteries some observations on the island of nantucket fourth month seventeen sixty having for some time passed felt a sympathy in my mind with friends eastward i opened my concern in our monthly meeting obtaining a certificate set forward on the seventeenth of this month in company with my beloved friend samuel eastburn we had meetings at woodbridge raway and plainfield and we're at their monthly meeting of ministers and elders in raway we labored under some discouragement through the invisible power of truth our visit was made reviving to the lowly minded with whom i felt a near unity of spirit being much reduced in my mind we passed on and visited most of the meetings on long island it was my concern from day to day to say neither more nor less than what the spirit of truth opened in me being jealous over myself lest i should say anything to make my testimony look agreeable to that mind in people which is not in pure obedience to the cross of christ the spring of the ministry was often low and through the subjecting power of truth we were kept low with it from place to place they whose hearts were truly concerned for the cause of christ appear to be comforted in our labors and though it was in general a time of a basement of the creature yet through his goodness who is a helper of the poor we had some truly edifying seasons both in meetings and in families where we tarried sometimes we found strength to labor earnestly with the unfaithful especially with those whose station in families or in the society was such that their example had a powerful tendency to open the way for others to go aside from the purity and soundness of the blessed truth at jericho on long island i wrote home as follows twenty fourth of the fourth month seventeen sixty dearly beloved wife we are favored with health have been at sundry meetings in east jersey and on the silent my mind has been much in an inward watchful frame since i left the greatly desiring that our proceedings may be singly in the will of our heavenly father as the present appearance of things is not joyous i have been much shut up from outward cheerfulness remembering that promise then shout thou delight thyself in the lord as this from day to day has been revived in my memory i have considered that his internal presence in our minds is a delight of all others the most pure and that the honest hearted not only delight in this but in the effect of it upon them he regards the helpless and distressed and reveals his love to his children under affliction who delight in beholding his benevolence and in feeling divine charity moving in them of this i may speak a little for though since i left you i have often an engaging love and affection towards thee and my daughter and friends about home and going out at this time when sickness is so great amongst you is a trial upon me yet i often remember there are many widows and fatherless many who have poor tutors many who have evil examples before them and many whose minds are in captivity for whose sake my heart is at times moved with compassion so that i feel my mind resigned to leave you for a season to exercise that gift which the lord hath bestowed on me which though small compared with some yet in this i rejoice that i feel love unfaigned towards my fellow creatures i recommend you to the almighty who i trust cares for you and under a sense of his heavenly love remain thy loving husband jw we crossed from east end of long island to new london about 30 miles in a large open boat while we were out the wind rising high the waves several times beat over us so that to me it appeared dangerous but my mind was at that time turned to him who made and governs the deep and by life was resigned to him as he was mercifully pleased to preserve us i had fresh occasion to consider every day as a day lent to me and felt a renewed engagement to devote my time and all i had to him who gave it we had five meetings in narragansett and went thence to newport on road island our gracious father preserved us in an humble dependence on him through deep exercises that were mortifying to the creature lee will in several families in the country where we lodged i felt an engagement on my mind to have a conference with them in private concerning their slaves and through divine aid i was favored to give up there too though in this concern i differ from many whose service in traveling is i believe greater than mine yet i do not think hardly of them for omitting it i do not repine at having so unpleasant a task assigned me but look with awfulness to him who appoints to his servants their respective employments and is good to all who serve him sincerely we got to newport in the evening and on the next day visited two sick persons with whom we had comfortable sittings and in the afternoon attended the burial of a friend the next day we were at meetings at newport in the forenoon and afternoon the spring of the ministry was opened and strength was given to declare the word of life to the people the day following we went on our journey but the great number of slaves in these parts and the continuance of that trade from thence to guinea made a deep impression on me and my cries were often put up to my heavenly father in secret that he would enable me to discharge my duty faithfully in such a way as he might be pleased to point out to me we took swan see free town and taunton in our way to boston where also we had a meeting our exercise was deep and the love of truth prevailed for which i bless the lord we went eastward about eighty miles beyond boston taking meetings and were in a good degree preserved in an humble dependence on that arm which drew us out and though we had some hard labor with the disobedient by laying things home and close to such as were stout against the truth yet through the goodness of god we had at times to partake of heavenly comfort with those who were meek and were often favored to part with friends in the nearness of true gospel fellowship we returned to boston and had another comfortable opportunity with friends there and thence rode back a day's journey eastward of boston our guide being a heavy man and the weather hot my companion and i expressed our freedom to go on without him to which he consented and we respectfully took our leave of him this we did as believing the journey would have been hard to him and his horse in visiting the meetings in those parts we were measurably baptized into a feeling of the state of the society and in bowedness of spirit went to the yearly meeting at newport where we met with john storer from england elizabeth shippley and gaunt hannah foster and mercy redmond from our parts all ministers of the gospel of whose company i was glad understanding that a large number of slaves had been imported from africa into that town and were then on sale by a member of our society my appetite failed and i grew outwardly weak and had a feeling of the condition of habacuck as thus expressed quote when i heard my belly trembled my lips quivered i trembled in myself that i might rest in the day of trouble and quote i had many cogitations and was sorely distressed i was desirous that friends might petition the legislature to use their endeavors to discourage the future importation of slaves for i saw that this trade was a great evil and tended to multiply troubles and to bring distresses on the people for whose welfare my heart was deeply concerned but i perceived several difficulties in regard to petitioning and such was the exercise of my mind that i thought of endeavoring to get an opportunity to speak a few words in the house of assembly then sitting in town this exercise came upon me in the afternoon on the second day of the yearly meeting and on going to bed i got no sleep till my mind was wholly resigned there too in the morning i inquired of a friend how long the assembly was likely to continue sitting who told me it was expected to be prorogued that day or the next as i was desirous to attend the business of the meeting and perceive the assembly was likely to separate before the business was over after considerable exercise humbly seeking to the lord for instruction my mind settled to attend on the business of the meeting on the last day of which i had prepared a short essay of a petition to be presented to the legislature if way opened and being informed that there were some appointed by that yearly meeting to speak with those in authority on cases relating to the society i opened my mind to several of them and showed them the essay i had made and afterwards i opened the case in the meeting for business in substance as follows quote i have been under a concern for some time on account of the great number of slaves which are imported into this colony i am aware that it is a tender point to speak to but apprehend i am not clear in the sight of heaven without doing so i have prepared an essay of a petition to be presented to the legislature if way open and what i have to propose to this meeting is that some friends may be named to withdraw and look over it and report whether they believe it is suitable to be read in the meeting if they should think well of reading it it will remain for the meeting to consider whether to take any further notice of it as a meeting or not and quote after a short conference some friends went out and looking over it expressed their willingness to have it read which being done many expressed their unity with the proposal and some signified that to have the subjects of the petition enlarged upon and signed out of the meeting by such as were free would be more suitable than to do it there though i expected at first that if it was done it would be in that way yet such was the exercise of my mind that to move it in the hearing of friends when assembled appeared to me as a duty for my heart yearned towards the inhabitants of these parts believing that by this trade there had been an increase of inquietude amongst them and way had been made for the spreading of a spirit opposite to that meekness and humility which is a sure resting place for the soul and that the continuance of this trade would not only render their healing more difficult but would increase their malady having proceeded thus far i felt easy to leave the essay amongst friends for them to proceed in it as they believed best and now an exercise revived in my mind in relation to lotteries which were common in those parts i had mentioned the subject in a former sitting of this meeting when arguments were used in favor of friends being held excused who were only concerned in such lotteries as were agreeable to law and now on moving it again it was opposed as before but the hearts of some friends appeared to be united to discourage the practice amongst their members and the matter was zealously handled by some on both sides in this debate it appeared very clear to me that the spirit of lotteries was a spirit of selfishness which tended to confuse and darken the understanding and that pleading for it in our meetings which were set apart for the lord's work was not right in the heat of zeal i made reply to what an ancient friend said and when i sat down i saw that my words were not enough seasoned with charity after this i spoke no more on the subject at length a minute was made a copy of which was to be sent to their several quarterly meetings and citing friends to labor to discourage the practice amongst all professing with us sometime after this minute was made i remained uneasy with the manner of my speaking to the ancient friend and could not see my way clear to conceal my uneasiness though i was concerned that i might say nothing to weaken the cause in which i had labored after some close exercise and hardy repentance for not having attended closely to the safe guide i stood up and reciting the passage acquainted friends that though i durst not go from what i had said as to the matter yet i was uneasy with the manner of my speaking believing milder language would have been better as this was uttered in some degree of creaturely abasement after a warm debate it appeared to have a good saver amongst us the yearly meeting being now over there yet remained on my mind a secret though heavy exercise in regard to some leading active members about newport who were in the practice of keeping slaves this i mentioned to two ancient friends who came out of the country and proposed to them if way opened to have some conversation with those members one of them and i having consulted one of the most noted elders who had slaves he in a respectful manner encouraged me to proceed to clear myself of what lay upon me near the beginning of the yearly meeting i had had a private conference with this said elder and his wife concerning their slaves so that the way seemed clear to me to advise with him about the manner of proceeding i told him i was free to have a conference with them all together in a private house or if he thought they would take it unkind to be asked to come together and to be spoken with in the hearing of one another i was free to spend some time amongst them and to visit them all in their own houses he expressed his liking to the first proposal not doubting their willingness to come together and as i proposed a visit to only ministers elders and overseers he named some others whom he desired might also be present a careful messenger being wanted to acquaint them in a proper manner he offered to go to all their houses to open the matter to them and did so about the eighth hour the next morning we met in the meeting house chamber the last mentioned country friend my companion and john store being with us after a short time of retirement i acquainted them with the steps i had taken in procuring that meeting and opened the concern i was under and we then proceeded to a free conference upon the subject my exercise was heavy and i was deeply bowed in the spirit before the lord who was pleased to favor with the seasoning virtue of truth which wrought a tenderness amongst us and the subject was mutually handled in a calm and peaceable spirit at length feeling my mind released from the burden which i had been under i took my leave of them in a good degree of satisfaction and by the tenderness they manifested in regard to the practice and the concern several of them expressed in relation to the manner of disposing of their negroes after their decease i believed that a good exercise was spreading amongst them and i am humbly thankful to god who supported my mind and preserved me in a good degree of resignation through these trials thou who sometimes travel list in the work of the ministry and are made very welcome by their friends seeest many tokens of their satisfaction and having thee for their guest it is good for thee to dwell deep that thou mayest feel and understand the spirits of people if we believe truth points towards a conference on some subjects and a private way it is needful for us to take heed that their kindness their freedom and affability do not hinder us from the Lord's work i have experienced that in the midst of kindness and smooth conduct to speak close and home to them who entertain us on points that relate to outward interest is hard labor sometimes when i have felt truth lead towards it i have found myself disqualified by a superficial friendship and as the sense thereof hath abased me and my cries have been to the Lord so i have been humbled and made content to appear weak or as a fool for his sake and thus a door hath been opened to enter upon it to attempt to do the Lord's work in our own way and to speak of that which is the burden of the word in a way easy to the natural part doth not reach the bottom of the disorder to see the failings of our friends and think hard of them without opening that which we ought to open and still carry a face of friendship tends to undermine the foundation of true unity the office of a minister of Christ is weighty and they who now go forth as watchmen have need to be steadily on their guard against the snares of prosperity and an outside friendship after the yearly meeting we were at meetings at newton kushnit longplane rochester and dartmouth from thence we sailed for nantucket in company with ann gaunt mercy redmond and several other friends the wind being slack we only reached tarpauling cove the first day where going on shore we found room in a public house and beds for a few of us the rest slept on the floor we went on board again about break of day and though the wind was small we were favored to come within about four miles of nantucket and then about ten of us got into our boat and rode to the harbor before dark a large boat went off and brought in the rest of the passengers about midnight the next day but one was their yearly meeting which held four days the last of which was their monthly meeting for business we had a laborious time amongst them our minds were closely exercised and i believe it was a time of great searching of heart the longer i was on the island the more i became sensible that there was a considerable number of valuable friends there though an evil spirit tending to strife had been at work amongst them i was cautious of making any visits except as my mind was particularly drawn to them and in that way we had some sittings and friends houses where the heavenly wing was at times spread over us to our mutual comfort my beloved companion had very acceptable service on this island when meeting was over we all agreed to sail the next day if the weather was suitable and we were well and being called up the latter part of the night about fifty of us went on board a vessel but the wind changing the seaman thought best to stay in the harbor till it altered so we returned on shore feeling clear as to any further visits i spent my time in my chamber chiefly alone and after some hours my heart being filled with the spirit of supplication my prayers and tears were poured out before my heavenly father for his help and instruction in the manifold difficulties which attended me in life while i was waiting upon the lord there came a messenger from the woman friends who lodged at another house desiring to confer with us about appointing a meeting which to me appeared weighty as we had been at so many before but after a short conference and advising with some elderly friends a meeting was appointed in which the friend who first moved it and who had been much shut up before was largely opened in the love of the gospel the next morning about break of day going again on board the vessel we reached Falmouth on the main before night where our horses being brought we proceeded towards sandwich quarterly meeting being two days in going to Nantucket and having been there once before i observed many shoals in their bay which makes sailing more dangerous especially in stormy nights also that a great show which encloses their harbor prevents the entrance of sloops except when the tide is up waiting without for the rising of the tide is sometimes hazardous in storms and by waiting within they sometimes miss a fair wind i took notice that there was on that small island a great number of inhabitants and the soil not very fertile the timber being so gone that for vessels fences and firewood they depend chiefly on buying from the main for the cost wear off with most of their other expenses they depend principally upon the whale fishery i considered that as towns grew larger and lands near navigable waters were more cleared it would require more labor to get timber and wood i understood that the whales being much hunted and sometimes wounded and not killed grow more shy and difficult to come at i considered that the formation of the earth the seas the islands bays and rivers the motions of the winds and the great waters which cause bars and shoals in particular places where all the works of him who is perfect wisdom and goodness and as people attend to his heavenly instruction and put their trust in him he provides for them in all parts where he gives them a being and as in this visit to these people i felt a strong desire for their firm establishment on the shore foundation besides what was said more publicly i was concerned to speak with the woman friends in their monthly meeting of business many being present and in the fresh spring of pure love to open before them the advantage both inwardly and outwardly of attending singly to the pure guidance of the holy spirit and therein to educate their children in true humility and the disuse of all superfluities i reminded them of the difficulties their husbands and sons were frequently exposed to at sea and that the more plain and simple their way of living was the less need there would be of running great hazards to support them i also encourage the young women to continue their neat decent way of attending themselves on the affair of the house showing as the way opened that where people were truly humble used themselves to business and were content with a plain way of life they had ever had more true peace and calmness of mind than they who aspiring to greatness and outward show have grasped hard for an income to support themselves therein and as i observed they had so few or no slaves i had to encourage them to be content without them making mention of the numerous troubles and vexations which frequently attended the minds of the people who depend on slaves to do their labor we attended the quarterly meeting at sandwich in company with and gaunt and mercy redmond which was preceded by a monthly meeting and in the whole held three days we were in various ways exercised amongst them in gospel love according to the several gifts bestowed on us and were at times overshadowed with the virtue of truth to the comfort of the sincere and stirring up of the negligent here we parted with an and mercy and went to road island taking one meeting in our way which was a satisfactory time reaching newport the evening before their quarterly meeting we attended it and after that had a meeting with our young people separated from those of other societies we went through much labor in this town and now in taking leave of it though i felt close inward exercise to the last i found inward peace and was in some degree comforted in a belief that a good number remain in that place who retain a sense of truth and that there are some young people attentive to the voice of the heavenly shepherd the last meeting in which friends from the several parts of the quarter came together was a select meeting and through the renewed manifestation of the father's love the hearts of the sincere were united together the poverty of spirit and inward weakness with which i was much tried the four part of this journey has of late appeared to me a dispensation of kindness appointing meetings never appeared more weighty to me and i was led into a deep search whether in all things my mind was resigned to the will of god often querying with myself what should be the cause of such inward poverty and greatly desiring that knows secret reserve in my heart might hinder my access to the divine fountain in these humbling times i was made watchful and excited to attend to the secret movings of the heavenly principle in my mind which prepared the way to some duties that in more easy and prosperous times as to the outward i believe i should have been in danger of omitting from newport we went to grannich shanty cut and warwick and were helped to labor amongst friends in the love of our gracious redeemer afterwards accompanied by our friend john kasey from newport we rode through connecticut to oblong visited the meetings to those parts and then proceeded to the quarterly meeting at rye woods through the gracious extendings of divine help we had some seasoning opportunities in those places we also visited friends at new york and flushing and thence to raw way here our roads parting i took leave of my beloved companion and true yoke mate samuel eastburn and reached home the tenth of eighth month where i found my family well for the favors and protection of the lord both inward and outward extended to me in this journey my heart is humbled and grateful acknowledgments and i find renewed desires to dwell and walk in residedness before him end of chapter seven