 The Preface of the Surprising Adventures of the Magical Monarch of Moe and His People. The Surprising Adventures of the Magical Monarch of Moe and His People by L. Frank Baum. The Preface. To the Comrade of My Boyhood Days, Dr. Henry Clay Baum. To the Reader. This book has been written for children. I have no shame in acknowledging that I, who wrote it, am also a child, for since I can remember my eyes have always grown big at tales of the marvellous, and my heart is still accustomed to go pit-a-pat when I read of impossible adventures. It is the nature of children to scorn realities, which crowd into their lives all too quickly with advancing years. Childhood is the time for fables, for dreams, for joy. These stories are not true. They could not be true and be so marvellous. No one is expected to believe them. They were meant to excite laughter and to gladden the heart. Perhaps some of those big, grown-up people will poke fun at us. Not you for reading these nonsense tales of the magical monarch, and at me for writing them. Never mind. Many of the big folk are still children, even as you and I. We cannot measure a child by a standard of size or age. The big folk who are children will be our comrades, the others we need not consider at all, for they are self-exiled from our domain. L. Frank Baum, June 1903 End of the Preface Recording by David Lawrence in Brampton, Ontario, July 27, 2009 The first surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people. This is the LibreVox Recording, all LibreVox recordings and the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibreVox.org, Recording by Ellie. The surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people. By L. Frank Baum, the first surprise, the beautiful valley of Moe. There are several questions you would like to ask at the very beginning of this history. First, who is the monarch of Moe, and why is he called the magical monarch? And where is Moe anyhow, and why have you never heard of it before? And can it be reached by Railroad or a trolley car, or must one walk all the way? These questions I realized should be answered before we, that we, means you and the book, can settle down for a comfortable reading of all the wonders and astonishing adventures I shall endeavor faithfully to relate. In the first place, the monarch of Moe is a very pleasant personage, holding the rank of king. He is not very tall, nor is he very short. He is midway between fat and lean, he is delightful with trolley when he is not sad, and seldom sad if he can possibly with trolley. How old he may be, I never even dared to inquire, but when we realize that he is destined to live as long as the valley of Moe exists, we may reasonably suppose that the monarch of Moe is exactly as old as his native land. And no one in Moe has ever reckoned up to years to see how many they have been. Although we will just say that the monarch of Moe and the valley of Moe are each part of the other and cannot be separated. He is not called the magical monarch because he deals in magic, for he doesn't deal in magic. But he leads such a queer life in such a queer country that his history will surely seem magical to us who inhabit the civilized places of the world and think that anything we cannot find a reason for must be due to magic. The life of the monarch of Moe seems simple enough to him. You may be sure, for he knows no other existence. And our ways of living, could he know of them, would doubtless astonish him greatly. The land of Moe, which is ruled by the king, we call the magical monarch, is often spoken of as the beautiful valley. If they would put it on the maps of our geographies and paint it pink or light green and print a big hand dot where the king's castle stands, it would be easy enough to point out to you its exact location. But I cannot find the valley of Moe in any geography I have examined. So I suspect the man who made these instructive books really know nothing about Moe, else it would surely be on the maps. Of one thing I am certain that no other country included in the maps is so altogether delightful as the beautiful valley of Moe. The sun shines all the time and its rays are perfumed. The people who live in the valley do not sleep, because there is no night. Everything they can possibly need grows on the trees, and so they have no use for money at all, and that saves them a great deal of worry. There are no poor people in this quaint valley. When a person desires a new head, he waits till one is ripe, and then picks it and wears it without asking anybody's permission. If a lady wishes a new ring, she examines carefully those upon the ring tree, and when she finds one that fits her finger, she picks it and wears it upon her hand. In this way, they procure all they desire. There are two rivers in the land of Moe, one of which flows milk for very rich quality. Some of the islands in Milk River are made of excellent cheese, and people are welcome to spate up this cheese whenever they wish to eat it. In the little pools near the bank, where the current does not flow swiftly, thelicious cream rises to the top of the milk. And instead of water lilies, great strawberry leaves grow upon the surface. And the ripe red berries lie dipping their noses into the cream, as if inviting you to come and eat them. The scent that forms the river bank is pure white sugar, and all kinds of candies and bonbons grow sick on the low bushes so that anyone may pluck them easily. These are only a few of the remarkable things that exist in the beautiful valley. The people are merry lighthearted folk who live in beautiful houses of pure crystal, where they can rest themselves and play their games and go in when it rains. For it rains in Moe, as it does everywhere else, only it rains lemonade. And the lightning in the sky resembles the most beautiful fireworks. And the center is usually a chorus from the opera of Ten Hauser. No one ever dies in this valley, and the people are always young and beautiful. There is the king and the queen, beside several princes and princesses. But it is not much use being a prince in Moe, because the king cannot die. Therefore, a prince is a prince to the end of his days, and his days never end. Strange things occur in this strange land, as you may imagine. And while I relate some of these, you will learn more of the peculiar features of the beautiful valley. End of the first surprise, recording by Ellie, August 2009. The second surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org, recording by Ellie. The surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people, by Earl Frank Worm. The second surprise, the strange adventures of the king's head. A good many years ago, the magical monarch of Moe became annoyed by the purple dragon, which came down from the mountains and ate up a patch of his best chocolate caramels, just as they were getting ripe. So the king went out to the sword tree and picked a long, sharp sword and tied it to his bird and went away to the mountains to fight the purple dragon. The people all applauded him, saying to one another, Our king is a good king. He will destroy this naughty purple dragon, and we shall be able to eat all the caramels ourselves. But the dragon was not alone naughty. It was big and fierce and strong, and did not want to be destroyed at all. Therefore, the king had a terrible fight with the purple dragon and cut it with its sword in several places so that the raspberry juice, which ran in its veins, squirted all over the ground. It is always difficult to kill dragons. They have been aged six-kinned and tough, as doubtless everyone has heard. Besides, you must not forget that this was a purple dragon and all scientists who have studied deeply the character of dragons say those of the purple color are the most disagreeable to fight with. So all the kings cutting and slashing had no effect upon the monster, other than to make him angry. Forgetful of their respect, due to a crowned king, the wicked dragon presently opening wide its jaws and bit his majesty's head clean of his body, then swallowed it. Of course, the king realized it was useless to continue to fight after that, for he could not see where the dragon was. So he turned and tried to find his way back to his people, but at every other step he would bump into a tree which made the naughty dragon laugh at him. Furthermore, he could not tell in which direction he was going, which is an unpleasant feeling under any circumstances. At last some of the people came to see if the king had succeeded in destroying the dragon and found the monster running around in a circle, bumping into trees and rocks, but not getting a step nearer home, so they took his hand and led him back to the palace, where everyone was filled with sorrow at the sad side of the headless king. Indeed, his devoted subjects, for the first time in their lives, came as near to weeping as an inhabitant of the valley of Mo'ken. Never mind, said the king cheerfully. I can get along very well without the head, and as a matter of fact, the loss has its advantages. I shall not be obliged to brush my hair, or clean my teeth, or wash my ears, so do not grieve, I beg of you, but be happy and joyful as you were before. We trod the king had a good heart, and after all, a good heart is better than a head, and he say. The people hearing him speak out of his neck, for he had no mouth, immediately began to laugh, which in a short time led to their being as happy as ever. But the queen was not contented, my love, she said to him, I cannot kiss you anymore, and that will break my heart. Thereupon the kings and wards hurled the valley that anyone who could procure for him a new head should wear one of the princesses. The princesses were all exceedingly pretty girls, and so it was not long before one man made a very nice head out of candy and brought it to the king. It did not look exactly like the old head, but the effes was very sweet, nevertheless, so the king put it on, and the queen kissed it at once with much satisfaction. The young man had put a pair of glass eyes in the head, with which the king would see very well after he got used to them. According to the royal promise, the young man was now called into the palace and asked to take his pick of the princesses. They were also sweet and ladylike, that he had some trouble in making a choice. But at last he took the biggest, thinking that thus he would secure the greatest reward, and they were married and with great rejoicing. But a few days after that, the king was caught out in a rainstorm, and before he could get home his new head had melted in the great shower of lemonade that fell. Only the glass eyes were left, and these he put in his pocket and went so hopefully to tell the queen of his new misfortune. Then another young man, who wanted to marry a princess, made the king a head of dough, sticking in it the glass eyes, and the king tried it on and found that it fitted very well, so the young man was given the next biggest princess. But the following day the sand chants to shine extremely hot, and when the king walked out it baked his dough head into bread, to which the monarch felt very light-headed. And when the bird saw the bread, they flew down from the trees, perched upon the king's shoulder and quickly ate his new head, all but the glass eyes. Again the good king was forced to go home to the queen without the head, and the lady firmly declared that this time her husband must have a head warranted to last at least as long as the honeymoon of the young man who made it. Which was not at all unreasonable under the circumstances. So a request was sent to all loyal subjects, throughout the valley, asking them to find the head for the king that was need and substantial. In the meantime the king had a rather hard time of it, when he wished to go any place he was obliged to hold out in front of him between his thumbs and fingers the glass eyes, that they might guide his footsteps. This as you may imagine made his match as the look rather undignified, and dignity is very important to every royal personage. At last a wood chopper in the mountains made a head of wood and sent it to the king. It was neatly carved, besides being solid and durable. Moreover it fitted the monarch's neck to a T, so the king rummaged in his pocket and found the glass eyes, and when these were put in the new head the king announced his satisfaction. There was only one drawback, he couldn't smile, as the wooden face was too stiff and it was funny to hear his majesty laughing heartily, while his face maintained a solemn expression. But the glass eyes twinkled merrily and everyone knew that he was the same kind-hearted monarch of old, although he had become, of necessity, rather hard-headed. Then the king sent word to the wood chopper to come to the palace and take his pick of the princesses, in preparations where it once began for the wedding. But the wood chopper on his way to the court unfortunately passed by the dwelling of the purple dragon and stopped to speak to the monster. Now it seems that when the dragon had swallowed the king's head, the unusual meal made the beast ill. It was more accustomed to bears and caramels for dinner than to heads, and the sharp points of the king's crown, which was firmly fastened to the head, bricked the dragon's stomach and made the creature miserable. After a few days of suffering, the dragon disgorged the head and not knowing what else to do with it, locked it up in a cupboard and put the key in its pocket. When the dragon met the wood chopper and learned that he had made a new head for the king and that the reward was to let one of the princesses, the monster became very angry. It resolved to do a wicked thing, which will not surprise you when you remember the beast's purple color. Step into my palace and rest yourself, said the dragon politely. Wicked people are most polite when they mean this shift. Thank you, I'll stop for a few minutes, replied the wood chopper. But I cannot stay long, as I am expected at court. When he had entered the palace, the dragon suddenly opened its mouth and snapped off the poor wood chopper's head. Being warned by experience, however, did not swallow the head, but placed it in the cupboard. Then the dragon took from the shelf the king's head and glued it on the wood chopper's neck. Now, said the beast with the cruel laugh, you are the king. Go home and claim your wife and your kingdom. The poor wood chopper was much amazed. For at first, he did not really know which he was, the king or the wood chopper. He looked in the mirror and, seeing the king made a low bow. Then the king's head thought, who am I bowing to? There is no one greater than the king, and so at once there began a conflict between the wood chopper's heart and the king's head. The dragon was mildly pleased at the result of its wicked strategy, and having pushed the bewildered wood chopper out of the castle, immediately sent him on his way to the court. When the poor man neared the town, the people ran out and said, why, this is the king come back again, all hail your majesty. All nonsense, returned the wood chopper. I am only a poor man with the king's head on my shoulders. You can easily see it isn't mine, for it's crooked. The dragon didn't clue it on straight. Worden is your head, they asked. Locked up in the dragon's cupboard, replied the poor fellow beginning to weep. Here cried the king's head. Stop this. You must not cry out of my eyes. The king never weeps. I beg your pardon, majesty, said the wood chopper meekly. I will not do it again. Well, see that you don't. Returned the head much cheerfully. The people were greatly amazed at this, and took the wood chopper to the palace, where all was soon explained. When the queen saw the king's head, she immediately kissed it, but the king rebuked her, saying that she must only kiss him. But it's your head, said the poor queen. Probably it is, replied the king, but it is on another man. You must confine yourself to kissing my wooden head. I am sorry, said the queen, for I like to kiss the railhead best, and so you shall, said the king's head. I don't deprove your kissing that wooden head at all. The poor lady looked from one to the other in perplexity. Finally a happy sort occurred to her. Why don't you trade heads? She asked. Just a thing, cried the king, and the wood chopper consenting the exchange was made, and the monarch of Moe found himself in possession of his own head, whereat he was so greatly pleased that he laughed long and merrily. The wood chopper, however, did not even smile. He couldn't because of the wooden face. The head he had made for the king, he was now compared to where himself. Bring hither the princesses, commanded the king. This good man shall choose his bride at once, for he has restored to me my own head. But when the princesses arrived and saw that the wood chopper had a wooden head, the ancient old refused to marry him and begged so hard to escape that the king was in a quandary. I promised him one of my daughters, he argued, and the king never breaks his word. But he hadn't the wooden head then, explained one of the girls. The king realized the truth in this, indeed, when he came to look carefully at the wooden head, he did not blame his daughters for not wishing to marry it. Should he force one of them to consent, it was not unlikely that she would call her husband a blockhead, a term almost certain to cause trouble in any family. After giving the matter the absurd, the king resolved to go to the purple dragon and obliged her to give up the wood chopper's head, so only fighting men in the kingdom were got together. And having peaked ripe sorts of the sword trees, they marched in a great body to the dragon's castle. Now the purple dragon realized that if it attempted to fight all this army it would perhaps be cut to pieces, so it retired within its castle and refused to come out. The wood chopper was a brave man, I'll go in and fight the dragon alone, he said, and in he went. By this time the dragon was both frightened and angry, and the moment it saw the man it rushed forward and made a snap at its head. The wooden head came off at once and the dragon's long sharp teeth got stuck in the wood and would not come out again, so the monster wasn't able to do anything but flop its tail and crown. The wood chopper now ran to the cupboard, took out his head and placed it upon his shoulders, where it belonged. Then he proudly walked out of the castle and was greeted with loud shouts by the army, which carried him back in triumph to the king's palace. And now that he wore his own head again, one of the prettiest of the young princesses, willingly agreed to marry him, so the wedding ceremony was performed amidst great rejoicing. End of the second surprise, recording by Ellie, August 2009. The third surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Mo and his people. This is a LibriVox recording. Only LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Ellie, the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Mo and his people. The third surprise, the dream dog and the monarch's lost temper. One day the monarch of Mo, having nothing better to do, resolved to go hunting blackberries among the bushes that grew at the foot of the mountains. So he put on an old crown that wouldn't get tarnished if it rained. And having found a team pale in the pantry, started off without telling anyone where he was going. For some distance the pass was a nice smooth teffy that was very agreeable to walk on. But as he got nearer the mountains, the ground became gravelly, the stones being checks and balls and gum drops. So that his boots, which were a little green when he picked them, began to hurt his feet. But the king was not easily discouraged and kept on until he found the blackberry bushes. When he immediately began to feel his pale, the berries being remarkably big and sweet. While it has occupied, he heard the sound of footsteps coming down the mountain side. And presently a little dog ran out from the bushes and trotted up to him. Now there were no dogs at all in Moe and the king had never seen a creature like this before. Therefore he was greatly surprised and sad. What are you and where are you from? The dog was also surprised at this question and looked suspiciously at the king's team pale. For many times wicked boys had tied such a pale to the end of his tail. In fact that was the reason he ran away from home and found his way by accident to the valley of Moe. My name is Prince, replied the dog gravelly and I have come from a country beyond the mountains in the desert. Indeed, are you in Druze, Prince? exclaimed the monarch. Then you will be welcome in my kingdom where we always treat nobility with proper respect. But why do you have four feet? Because six would be too many, replied the dog. But I have only two, said the king. I am sorry, said the dog, who was something of a vague because where I come from it is my fashion able to walk on four feet. I like to be in the fashion, remarked the king thoughtfully, but what am I to do, having only two legs? Why, I suppose you could walk on your hands and feet, return the dog with a laugh. So I will, said the king, pleased with the idea and you shall come to the palace with me and teach me all the fashions of the country from whence you came. The king got down to his hands and knees and was delighted to find he could get along in this way very nicely. How I meant to carry my pale, he asked. In your mouth of course, replied the dog. The suggestions in the happy one and the king took the pale in his mouth and they started back toward the palace. But when his majesty came to the gumdrops and checks and balls they heard his hands and knees so that he groaned aloud. But the dog only laughed. Finally they reached the place where it was quite muddy. Of course the mud was only jelly but it hadn't dried up since the last train. The dog jumped over the place nearly enough but when the king tried to do likewise he failed and came down into the jelly with both hands and knees and stuck fast. Now the monarch had a very good temper which he carried in his vest pocket. But as he passed over the gumdrop pebbles on his hands and knees his temper dropped out of his pocket and having lost it he became very angry at the dog forgetting him into such a scrape. So he began to scold and when he opened his mouth the pale dropped out and the berries were all spilled. This made the dog laugh more than ever at which the king pulled himself out of the jelly, jumped to his feet and began to chase the dog as fast as he could. Finally the dog climbed a tall tree where the king wouldn't reach him and when safe among the branches looked down and said, see how foolish a man becomes who tries to be in fashion rather than live as nature intended he should. You can no more be a dog than I can be a king so hereafter if you are wise you will be content to walk on two legs. There's much truth in what you say, replied the monarch of Moe, come with me to the palace and you shall be forgiven. Indeed we shall have a fine feast in honor of your arrival. So the dog climbed down from the tree and followed the king to the palace where all the courtiers were astonished to see so queer an animal and made a great favorite of him. After dinner the king invited the dog to take a walk around the grounds of the royal mansion and they started out merrily enough. But the king's boots had begun to hurt him again for as he did not fit, being picked green, they had rubbed his toes until he had corns on them so when they reached the porch in front of the palace the king asked, my friend, what is good for corns? Tight boots, replied the dog loving but they are not very good for your feet. Now the king, not yet having found his lost temper became exceedingly angry at this poor chest so he rushed at the dog and gave it a tremendous kick. Up into the air like a ball flew the dog while the king having hurt his toe by the kick sat down on the doorstep and nursed his foot while he watched the dog go farther and farther up until it seemed like a tiny speck against the blue of the sky. They must have kicked harder than a sword, said the king, hopefully. There he goes, out of sight and they shall never see him again. He now limped the way into the back garden where he picked a new pair of boots that would not hurt his feet and while he was gone the dog began to fall down again. Of course he fell faster than he went up and finally landed with a crash exactly on the king's doorstep. But so great was the force of the fall and so had the doorstep that the poor dog was flattened out like a pancake and could not move a bit. When the king came back he said, hello, some kind friend has brought me a new doormat that's a present and he leaned down and stroked a soft hair with much pleasure. Then he wiped his feet on the new mat and went into the palace to tell the queen when her majesty saw the nice soft doormat she declared it was too good to be left outside. So she brought it into the palace and put it on the floor before the fireplace. The good king was sorry he had treated the dog so harshly and for fear he might do some other dreadful thing he went to the place where he had lost his temper and searched until he found it again and he put it carefully away in his pocket where it would stay. Then he returned to the palace and entered the palace but as he passed the mat his new boots were so clumsy he stumbled against the edge and pushed the mat together into a roll. Immediately the dog gave a bug and got upon his legs and said, well, this is better. Now I can breathe again but while it was so flat I could not draw a single breath. The monarch and his queen were much surprised to find that what they had taken from a mat was only the dog that had fallen so flat on their doorstep but they could not forbid allowing a disquiet appearance. For as the king had kicked the mat on the edge the dog was more than six feet long and no bigger around than a lead pencil which brought his front leg so far from his rear legs that a good scarcely turn around in the room without getting tangled up. But it is better than being a doormat, said the dog and the king and the queen agreed with him in this. Then the king went the way to tell the people he had found the dog again and when he left the palace he slammed the front door behind him. The dog had started to follow the king out so when the front door slammed it hit the poor animal so sharp a blow on the nose that they pushed his body back together again and lo behold there was the dog in his natural shape just as he was before the king kicked him. After this the dog and the king agreed very well for the king was careful not to kick since he had recovered his temper and the dog took care not to say anything that would provoke the king to anger and one day the dog saved the kingdom in all the value of more from destruction as I shall tell you another time. End of the third surprise recording by Ellie January 2010. The first surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical Monarch of Moe and his people this is a lip-vox recording all lip-vox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit lip-vox.org recording by Ellie the surprising adventures of the magical Monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum the first surprise the peculiar paints of Fruitcake Island. Prince Zingl who was the eldest of all the princes of the value of Moe at one time became much irritated because the king his father would not allow him to milk the cow with the golden horns this cow was a great favorite with the king because she gave his logic quantity of ice cream at the milk king as an ordinary cow does of milk and in the warm days this was an agreeable luxury the king liked to keep the cow with the golden horns for his own use instead of the queen so Prince Zingl thought he was being abused having a great fondness for ice cream himself to be sure there was a great fondness of ice cream soda water playing constantly in the courtyard which was free to everyone but the prince longed for what he could not help therefore being filled with anger against his father the king he wandered away until he chanced to come near to the castle of the purple dragon and the wicked monster saw the prince he decided that here was a splendid opportunity to make mischief so he said politely good morning king Zingl I'm not the king I'm only a prince replied Zingl what? not the king? exclaimed the dragon as if surprised that is too bad I can never be a king while my father lives continue the prince and it is impossible for him to die so what can I do? since you asked my advice I will tell you answer the naughty dragon down your rootbed river where the peanut trees grow is a very deep hole in the ground you must get the king to go and look into this hole and while he is leaning over the edge push him in of course he will not die for that as you say is impossible but no one will know where to find him so your father being out of the way you will be king in his place that is surely good advice said the prince and I will go and do it at once then the cow with the golden horns will be mine and I shall become the monarch of Moe the prince turned to go back to the palace and as soon as he was out of sight the horrid dragon laughed to think what the foolish had made of the boy and Zingl saw his father he called him aside and said Your Majesty I have discovered something very funny at the bottom of the hole near the peanut trees come and see what it is so the king went with the prince without suspecting his evil design and while he leaned over the hole the prince gave him a sudden push the next moment down fell the monarch of Moe way to the bottom then Prince Zingl went back to the palace and began to milk the cow with the golden horns now when the king found himself at the bottom of the hole he at first did not know what to do so he sat down and thought about it presently a happy idea came into his head he knew if only he was at the other end of the hole he could be at the top instead of the bottom and could make his escape so the king took hold of the hole and exerting all his strengths turned the hole upside down being now at the top he stepped upon the ground and walked back to the palace where he caught Prince Zingl milking the cow with the golden horns Oh ho! he said You wish to be king, do you? Well, we'll see about that then he took the naughty prince by the ear and led him into the palace where he locked him up in a room from which he could not escape the king now sat himself down in an easy chair and began to think on how he could best banish the prince but after an hour of deep thought he was unable to decide on anything that seemed as a fish and chest placement for so great an offense at last he resolved to consult the wise donkey the wise donkey lived in a pretty little house away at the end of the valley for he did not like to mix with the gay life with the court he had not always been wise but at one time was a very stupid donkey indeed and he acquired his wisdom in this way one Friday afternoon just as the school was letting out the stupid donkey straight into the school house and the teachers and scholars were also anxious to get home that they never noticed the donkey but locked him up in the school house and went away without knowing him was there no one came into the building from Friday afternoon until Monday morning so the donkey got very hungry and certainly would have starved had he not chance to taste of a geography that was sticking out from one of the desks the hungry donkey decided it was not so very bad and so he ate it all up then he ate the arithmetic and algebra and two first readers after that he lay down and went to sleep but becoming very hungry again he awoke and commenced in the school library which he completely devoured this library compromised all the solid and substantial wisdom in the valley of Moe and when the janitor opened the schoolhouse door on Monday morning all the books of learning in the whole land had been eaten up by the stupid donkey you can readily understand that after he had digested all this knowledge he became very wise and thereafter the king and the people often consulted the wise donkey when the unintelligence was at fault so now the monarch went to the donkey's house and told him of the prince's wickedness asking how he could best punish him the wise donkey thought about the metaphor a moment and then replied I do not know a worse punishment than a pain in the stomach among the books I ate in the schoolhouse was a trigonometry and before I digested it I suffered very severe pains indeed but I cannot feed the prince a trigonometry return the king you ate the last one yourself true answered the donkey but there are other things that cause pain in the stomach you know there is a certain island in Rupi river that is made of fruit cake of a very rich quality I advise you to put the prince on this island and allow him nothing to eat except the fruit cake presently he will have violent pains in the stomach and will be punished as greatly as you could desire the king was well pleased with this plan and having thanked the donkey for his wise advice hurry back to the palace Prince Zingl was now brought from his room and rode in a boat to the fruit cake island in Rupi river where he was left without a way to escape he knew how to swim to be sure but it was forbidden by Lord to swim in the Rupi as many people came to this river to drink you shall stay here said the king sternly until you are sorry for your wickedness and you shall have nothing to eat but fruit cake the prince laughed because he saw the punishment was no punishment at all and the king had rode away in the boat and Zingl was left alone he said to himself why this is delightful I shall have a jolly time here and can eat all the cake I want without anyone scolding me for being greedy he broke off a large piece of the island where the raisins and citron were the sickest and commands to eat it but after a time he became tired of eating nothing but fruit cake and longed for something to go with it but the island did not contain a single thing except the cake of which it was composed presently Prince Zingl began to have pain inside him he paid no attention to it at first thinking it would pass away but instead it grew more severe so he began to cry out but no one heard him the pain steadily increased and the prince wept and rolled on the ground and began to feel exceeding sorry he had been so wicked finally he sees the telephone which was connected with the palace and called up the king hello? said the king's voice in reply what's wanted I have a terrible pain said the prince with the crown and I'm very sorry indeed that I pushed your majesty down the hall if you'll only take me off this dreadful island I'll be the best prince in all the valley from this time for us so the king sent the boat and had the prince brought back to the palace where he forgave his naughty actions being a kind parent he next fed his suffering son a blossom from the medicine tree which quickly relieved his pain and led him to appreciate the pleasure of repentance end of the first surprise recording by Ellie January 2010 the fifth surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Diana Meilinger the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum the fifth surprise the monarch celebrates his birthday there were great festivities in the valley of Moe when the king had a birthday the jolly monarch was born so many years ago that so everyone had forgotten the date one of the wise men said the king was born in February another declared it was in May and the third figured a great event happened in October so the king issued a royal decree that he should have three birthdays every year in order to be on the safe side and whenever he happened to think of it he put in an odd birthday or two for luck the king's birthday came to be regarded as very joyful events for on these occasions festivities of unusual magnificence were held and everybody in the kingdom was invited to participate on one occasion the king suddenly recollectingly had not celebrated his birthday for several weeks announced a royal festival on the most elaborate scale the cream puff crop was an unusually large one and the bushes were hanging full of the delicious ripe puffs which were highly prized by the people of Moe so all the maidens got their best dresses and brightest ribbons and the young men carefully brushed their hair and polished their boots and soon the streets leading to the palace were thronged with gay merry-makers when the guests were all assembled a great feast was served in which the newly picked cream puffs were an important item then the king stood up at the head of the table and ordered his ruby casket to be brought him and when the people heard this they at once became quiet and attentive for the ruby casket was one of the most curious things in the valley it was given the king many years before by the sorceress, Meta and whenever it was opened something was found that no living person had seen before so the people and even the king himself always watched the opening of the ruby casket with much curiosity for they never knew what would be disclosed the king placed the casket on a small table before him and then after a solemn look at the expectant faces he said slowly giggle, gaggle, goo which was the magic word that opened the box at once the lid flew back and the king peered within and exclaimed ha! this made the guests more excited than before for they did not know what he was saying ha about and they held their breath when the king put his thumb and his finger into the box and drew out a little wooden man about as big as my finger he wore a blue jacket and a red cap and had a little brass horn in his hand the king stood the wooden man upon the table and then reached within the box and brought out another wooden man dressed just the same as the other and also holding a horn in his hand this the king stood beside the first wooden man and then took out another and another until ten little wooden men were standing in a row on the table holding drums and cymbals and horns in their small stiff hands I declare said the king when he had stood them all up it's a little german band but what a shame it is they cannot play no sooner had the king uttered the word play then every little wooden man put his horn to his mouth or beat his drum or clashed his cymbal and immediately they began to play such delicious music that all the people were delighted and even the king clapped his hands in applause just then from out of the casket leaped a tiny baby elephant about as large as a mouse and began capering about on its toes it was dressed in short fluffy skirts like those worn by a ballad dancer and it done so funnily that all who saw it roared with laughter when the elephants stopped to rest two pretty green frogs sprang from the casket and began to play leapfrog before the astonished guests who had never before seen such a thing as a frog the little green strangers jumped over each other quick as a flash and finally one of them jumped down the other's throat then as the baby elephant opened his mouth to yawn the remaining frog jumped down the elephant's throat the audience was so much amused at this feat that the baby elephant thought he would see what he could do to please them so he stood on his head and gave a great jump and disappeared down his own throat leaving the musicians to play by themselves then all the young men called the girls about their waists and began spinning around in a pretty dance of their own and the fun continued until they were tired out the king thanked the tiny wooden musicians and put them back in the ruby casket he did not offer to take up a collection for them there being no money of any kind in the valley of Moe the casket was then carried back to the royal treasury where it was guarded with much care when not in use just then a young men approached the king asking permission for the people to skate on the crystal lake and his majesty graciously consented as it was never cold in the kingdom of Moe there was of course no ice for skating but the crystal lake was composed of sugar syrup and the sun had candid the surface of the lake so it had become solid enough to skate on and was, moreover, a smooth as glass it was not often the king allowed skating there for he feared someone might break through the crust but as it was his birthday he could refuse the people nothing so presently hundreds of boys and girls were skating swiftly on the crystal lake and having rare sport for it was just as good as ice without being cold or damp in the center there was one place where the crust was quiet thin and just as the merriment was at its high crack went the ice or candy rather and down into the sugar syrup sang the princess trulla and the prince jollican and the king's royal chamberlain now said down and down they went until they reached the bottom of the lake and there they stood stuck fast in the syrup and unable to move a bit while all the people gathered on the shore to look at them the lake being as clear as the clearest water of course this calamity put an end to further skating and the king rushed around asking everyone how he could get his daughter and his son and his royal chamberlain out of the mess but no one could tell him finally the king consulted the wise donkey and after he had thawed the matter over and consulted his learning the donkey advised his majesty to fish for them fish exclaimed the king how can we do that take a fish line and put a sinker on it to make it sink through the syrup then made the end of the line with the thing that each one of them likes best in that way you can catch hold of them and draw them out of the lake well said the king I'll try it for of course you know what you're talking about have you ever eaten a geography demanded the wise donkey no said the king well I have declared the donkey whole tally and what I don't know about lakes and such things isn't in the geography so the king went back to the crystal lake and got a strong fish line which he tied to the end of a long pole then he put a sinker on the end of the line and was ready for the bait what does the princess thriller like best he asked the queen I'm sure I do not know replied the royal lady but you might try her with a kiss so one of the nicest young men sent a kiss to the princess and the king tied it to the end of the line and put it in the lake the sinker carried it down through the sugar syrup until the kiss was just before the sweet red lips of the pretty princess she took the kiss at once as the queen had guessed and the king pulled up the line with the princess at the end of it until he finally landed her on the shore then all the people shouted for joy and the queen took the princess to her home to change her clothes for they were very sticky what does the prince jollykin like best asked the king a laugh replied the dozen at once for everyone knew the princess failing then one of the girls laughed quite hard and the king tied it to the end of the line and dropped it into the lake the prince called the laugh at once and was quickly drawn from the syrup and life was sent home to change his clothes then the king looked around at the people and asked what does the chamberlain knuff said like best but they were all silent for knuff said like so many things it was difficult to say which he liked best so again the king was obliged to go to the wise donkey in order to find out how he should bathe the line to catch the royal chamberlain the wise donkey happened to be busy that day over his own affairs and was annoyed at being consulted so frequently without receiving anything in return for his wisdom but he pretended to consider the matter, as was his want, and said I believe the royal chamberlain is fond of apples try to catch him with the red apple at this the king and his people hunted all over the kingdom and at last found a tree with one solitary red apple growing on the little branch nearly at the top but unfortunately someone had sold off the trunk of the tree closed up to the branches and had carried it away and chopped it up for kindling wood for this reason there was no way to climb the tree to secure the apple while the king and the people were considering how they might get into the tree prince tinkabit came up to them and asked what they wanted we want the apple, replied the king but someone has cut away the tree trunk so that we cannot climb up prince tinkabit rubbed the top of his head a minute to get his brain into good working order it was a habit he had acquired then he walked to the bank of the river which was near and whistled three times immediately a school of fishes swam up to him and one of the biggest cried out good afternoon prince tinkabit what can we do for you I wish to borrow a flying fish for a few minutes replied the prince scarcely had he spoken when a fish flew out of the river and purged upon his shoulder then he walked up to the tree and said to the fish get me the apple the flying fish at once flew into the tree and bit off the stem of the apple which fell down and hit the king on the nose for unfortunately he was standing exactly under it then the prince thanked the flying fish and sent it back to the river and the king having first put a plaster over his nose took the apple and started for the crystal lake followed by all his people but when the apple was fastened to the fish line and let down through the syrup to the royal chamberlain navset refused to touch it he doesn't like it said the king with a sigh and he went again to the wise donkey didn't he want the apple asked the donkey as if surprised but she must know he was not surprised at all as he had planned to get the apple for himself no indeed replied the king we had an awful job to find the apple too where is it inquired the donkey here said the king taking it out of his pocket the donkey took the apple looked at it thoughtfully for a moment and then ate it up and smacked his lips for he was especially fond of red apples what shall we do now asked the king I believe the thing navset likes best is a kind word bait the line with that and you may catch him so the king went again to the lake and having put a kind word on the fish line quickly succeeded in bringing the royal chamberlain to the shore in safety you can well imagine poor navset was glad enough to be on dry land after his long immersion in the sugar syrup and now that all had been rescued from the christian lake the king put a rope around a broken crust and struck up a sign that said danger so that no one else would fall in after that the festivities began again and as there were no further accidents the king's birthday ended very happily end of the fifth surprise the sixth surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of moe and his people this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Miriam Esther Goldman the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of moe and his people by L. Frank Baum the sixth surprise king Scaliow and his cast iron man across the mountains at the north of the valley of moe there reigned a wicked king named Scaliow whose people lived in caves and mines and dug iron and tin out of the rocks and melted them into bars these bars they then carried away and sold for money king Scaliow hated the monarch of moe and all his people because they lived so happily and cared nothing for money and he would have sent his army into the valley to destroy the merry people who dwelt there had he not been afraid of the sharp swords that grew on their trees which they knew so well how to use against their foes so king Scaliow pondered for a long time how to destroy the valley of moe without getting hurt himself and at last he hid on a plan he believed would succeed he put all his mechanics to work and built a great man out of cast iron with machinery inside of him when he was wound up the cast iron man could roar and roll his eyes and mash his teeth and march across the valley crushing trees and houses to the earth as he went for the cast iron man was as tall as a church and as heavy as iron could make him and each of his feet was as big as a barn it took a long time to build this man as you may suppose but king Scaliow was so determined to ruin the pretty valley of moe that he made his men work night and day and at last the cast iron man was ready to be wound up and sent on his journey of destruction they stood him on top of the mountain with his face toward the beautiful valley and began to wind him up it took a hundred men a whole week to do this but at last he was tightly wound and the wicked king Scaliow stood ready to touch the spring that made him go one two three said the king and touched the spring with his ringer the cast iron man gave so terrible a roar that he even frightened the men who had made him and then he rolled his eyes till they flashed fire and gnashed his teeth till the noise sounded like thunder the next minute he raised one great foot and stepped forward crushing fifty trees that stood in his path and then away he went striding down the mountain destroying everything that stood in his way and nearing with every step the beautiful valley of moe the king and his people were having a game of ball that day and the dog was acting as umpire suddenly justice prince Jollacan had made a home run and everybody was applauding him a terrible roaring noise sounded in their ears and they heard a great crashing of trees on the mountainside and saw a monstrous man approaching the valley the people were so frightened they stood perfectly still being unable to move through surprise and terror but the dog ran with all his might toward the mountain to see what was the matter just as the dog reached the foot of the mountain the cast iron man came tramping along and stepped into the valley where he ruined in one instant a large bed of lady fingers and a whole patch of ripe pumpkin pies indeed the entire valley would soon have been destroyed had not the cast iron man stubbed his toe against the dog and fallen flat on his face where he lay roaring and gnashing his teeth but unable to do any further harm presently the king and his people recovered from their fright and gathered around their prostrate foe marveling at his great size and strength I do not trip them up said the king to the dog this giant would certainly have destroyed my kingdom who do you suppose was so wicked as to send this monster to crush us it must have been King scowly al declare the dog for no one else would care to harm you and the giant came from the direction of the wicked King's country yes replied the monarch thoughtfully it must indeed have been scowly al and it was a very unkind act for we never harmed him in any way but what shall we do with this great man if he is left here he will scare all the children with his Roaring's and none of the ladies will care to walk near this end of the valley he is so heavy that not all of us together could lift him and even if we succeeded we have no place to put him where he would be out of the way this was indeed true so all the people sat down in a circle around the cast iron man and thought upon the matter intently for the space of an hour then the monarch asked solemnly as became the importance of the occasion has anyone thought of a way to get rid of him the people shook their heads gravely and thought deeply for another hour at the end of that time the dog suddenly laughed and called out in the voice so loud that it startled them I have thought of a way good exclaimed the King let us hear your plan you see explain the dog the cast iron man is now lying on his face if we could only roll him over onto his back and then raise him to his feet again he would be turned around and would march straight back to where he came from and do us no further harm that is a capital idea replied the King but how can we roll him over or make him stand up that puzzled them all for a while but by and by Prince think of it was a very clever young man announced his readiness to undertake the job first bring me a feather commanded the Prince the Royal Chamberlain hunted around and soon found for him a long fluffy feather taking this in his hand the Prince approached the cast iron man and tickled him under the left arm with the end of the feather ohch said the cast iron man giving a jump and rolling completely over so that he lay on his back hurrah cried the people clapping their hands with joy at this successful strategy the Prince is a very wise Prince indeed Prince think a bit took off his hat and bowed politely to them in return for the compliment then he said bring me a pin so Nuff said brought him a pin with a very sharp point and the Prince took it and walked up to the cast iron man and gave him a sharp prod in the back with the point of the pin ohch again yelled the cast iron man giving at the same time such a great jump that he leaped square on his feet but now to their joy they saw he was facing the mountains instead of the valley as soon as the cast iron man stood up the machinery began to work again and he marched with great steps up the mountainside and over it into the kingdom of the wicked scowly owl where he crushed the king and all his people and laid waste the land wherever he went and that was their punishment for being envious of the good people of Moe as the fate of the cast iron man he was wound up so tightly that he kept walking straight on until he reached the sea where he stepped into the water went down to the bottom and stuck fast in the mud and I have no doubt he is there to this day and of the sixth surprise recording by Miriam Esther Goldman the seventh surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Patty Cunningham the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum the seventh surprise Tim Tom and the Princess Patty Cake now of all the monarch's daughters the most beautiful by far was the Princess Patty Cake the deep blue of her eyes made even the sky envious and the moss roses blushed when they saw the delicate bloom on her cheeks the long strands of her silken hair were brighter than sunbeams while her ears were like two tiny pink shells from the seashore indeed there was nothing in all the valleys so dainty and pretty as Princess Patty Cake and many young men would have loved her had they dared but alas the Princess had a most terrible temper and never was pleased with anything so the young men and even the old ones were afraid to come near her she scolded from morning till night she stamped her pretty foot with rage when anyone spoke to her and if ever her brothers tried to reason with her she boxed their ears so soundly that they were glad to let her alone even the good queen could not love Patty Cake as she did her other children and the king often sighed when he thought of the ugly disposition of his beautiful daughter of course no one cared very much for her society and she sat in her room all day long refusing to join the others in their sports and games and becoming more moody and bad tempered the older she grew one day a young man came to the court to bring pickled peaches to his majesty the king the youth's name was Tim Tom and he lived so far away and came so seldom to court that never before had he seen the Princess Patty Cake when he looked into her sweet blue eyes he loved her at once for her beauty and being both brave and bold he went directly to the king and asked for Patty Cake's hand in marriage his majesty was naturally surprised at so strange a request so he said to the young man what does the princess say does she love you I do not know replied Tim Tom for I have never spoken with her well said the king much amazed at the ignorance and temerity of the youth go and speak to my daughter about the matter and then come and tell me what she replies Tim Tom went at once to the room where Princess Patty Cake was mootily sitting and said boldly I should like to marry you what screamed the princess in a great rage marry me go away this instant you impudent boy or I shall throw my shoes at your head Tim Tom was both surprised and shocked at this outburst but he realized that the princess had a remarkably bad temper still he was not moved from his purpose for she was so pretty he decided not to abandon the attempt to win her do not be angry for I love you he pleaded looking bravely into Patty Cake's blue eyes love me echoed the surprise princess that is not possible everyone else hates me they do not hate you ventured Tim Tom it is your temper they hate but my temper and I are one answered the princess harshly as she stamped her foot surely that is not so returned the young man for certainly I love you while your temper I do not like a bit don't you think you could love me perhaps I might if you could cure my bad temper but my temper will not allow me to love anyone in fact I believe that unless you go away at once I shall be obliged to box your ears there seemed to be no help for her so Tim Tom left the room sadly and going to the king told him what she had said then that is the end of the matter declared the king for no one can cure Patty Cake of her bad temper I am resolved to try nevertheless replied Tim Tom and if I succeed you must give me the princess in marriage I will and my blessing into the bargain answered the king heartily then Tim Tom left the court and went back to his father's house where he thought on the problem for a week in a day at the end of that time he was no nearer solving it than he was before but his mother who had noticed that her boy was in trouble now came to him to ask the cause of his sad looks Tim Tom told her all about the princess Patty Cake and of his love for her and the evil temper that would not be cured his mother gave him her sympathy and after some thought said to him you must go to the sorceress Maida and ask her assistance she's a good lady and a friend to all the king's family I am quite sure she will aid you if only you can find your way to the castle in which she lives where is this castle? asked Tim Tom, brightening up away to the south in the midst of a thick wood answered its mother then said he sturdily if this castle exists I will surely find it for to win Patty Cake is my only hope of happiness the next day he set out on his journey filled with the hope of finding Maida's castle and securing her assistance before he had gone very far a snowstorm began to rage now the snowstorms in Moe are different from ours for the snow is popcorn and on this day it fell so thick and fast that poor Tim Tom had much difficulty in wading through it he was obliged to stop frequently to rest and ate a great deal of the popcorn that covered his path for it was nicely buttered and salted finally to his joy it stopped snowing and then he was able to walk along easily until he came to the river of needles when he looked on this river he was nearly discouraged and could not think of a way to get across for instead of water the river flowed a perfect stream of sharp glittering needles sitting down on the bank he was wondering what he should do when to his astonishment a small but sharp and disagreeable voice said to him where are you going stranger Tim Tom looked down between his feet and saw a black spider which sat on a blade of grass and watched him curiously I am on my way to visit the sorceress Maida replied Tim Tom but I cannot get across the river of needles they are very sharp and would make a thousand holes through you in an instant remarked the spider thoughtfully but perhaps I can help you if you are willing to grant me a favor in return I will gladly build a bridge so you may cross the river in safety what is the favor? he asked I have lost an eye and you must ask the sorceress to give me a new one or I can see but half as well as I could before I will gladly do this for you said Tim Tom very well then I will build you a bridge promised the spider but if you have not the eye when you return I shall destroy the bridge and you will never be able to get home again the young man agreed to this for he was anxious to proceed so the spider threw a web across the river and then another and another until it had made a bridge of spider webs strong enough for Tim Tom to cross over it bent and swayed when his weight was on the slender bridge but it did not break and after he was safe across he thanked the spider and renewed his promise to bring back the eye then he hurried away on his journey for he had lost much time at the river but to his dismay the young man shortly came to a deep gulf that barred his ways completely as had the river of needles he peered down into it and saw it had no bottom but opened away off at the other side of the world here was an obstacle which might well dishearten the boldest traveller and Tim Tom was so grieved that he sat down on the brink and wept tears of disappointment what is troubling you? asked a soft voice in his ear turning his head the youth saw a beautiful white bird sitting beside him I wish to visit the castle of the sorceress Maida on very important business he replied but I cannot get over the gulf I could carry you over with ease said the bird and shall gladly do so if in return you promise to grant me one favour what is the favour? inquired Tim Tom I have forgotten my song through having a sore throat for a long time replied the bird so try as I may I cannot sing a single note if you will agree to bring me a new song from the sorceress I will take you over the gulf and bring you back when you return but unless you bring the song I shall not carry you over again Tim Tom joyfully agreed to this bargain and then sitting on the bird's neck he was born safely across the deep gulf after continuing his journey for an hour without further interruption he saw before him the edge of great wood and knew that in the midst of this forest of trees was the castle of Maida he thought then that his difficulties were all over and tramped bravely on until he reached the wood what now was the use horror on discovering on one side of his path a great lion crouched ready to spring on anyone who ventured to enter the wood while on the other side was a monstrous tiger likewise prepared to attack any intruder the fierce beasts were growling terribly and their eyes glowed like balls of fire Tim Tom gladly would have turned back had such a thing been possible for his heart was full of fear but he remembered that without the bird's song in the spider's eye he could never reach home again he also thought of the pretty face of Princess Patty Cake and this gave him courage resolving to perish if need be rather than fail in his adventures the youth stepped boldly forward and when he approached the snarling guardians of the forest he gave one bound and dashed into the wood at the same moment the lion leapted him from one side and the tiger from the other and no doubt they would have devoured him had not Tim Tom's foot slipped just then and thrown him flat on the ground the lion and the tiger therefore met in mid-air and each one thinking it had hold of Tim Tom tried to tear him to pieces with a result that in a few moments they had devoured each other instead of him the youth now strode rapidly through the wood and was getting along famously when he came to a high wall of Jasper that completely blocked his way it was smooth as glass and Tim Tom saw no way of climbing over it while he stood wondering how he might overcome this new obstacle a gray rabbit hopped out from the bushes and asked where do you wish to go stranger to the castle of the sorceress made a answered Tim Tom well perhaps i can assist you said the rabbit i need a new tale badly for my old one is merely a stump and no use at all in flight time if you will be kind enough to get me a new tale from the sorceress made a along nice bushy tale i will dig under the wall and so make a passage for you to the other side i shall be pleased to return the favor by bringing you the tale declared Tim Tom eagerly very well then you shall see how fast i can work return the rabbit immediately it began digging away with its little pause and in a very short time had made a whole large enough for Tim Tom to crawl under the wall if you do not bring the tale said the rabbit in a warning voice i shall fill up the whole again so that you will be unable to get back oh i shall bring the tale never fear answered the youth and hurried away toward the castle of made a which was now visible through the trees the castle was built of pure white marble and was very big and beautiful it stood in a lovely garden filled with blue roses and pink butter cups where fountains of gold spouted showers of diamonds and rubies and emeralds and amethysts all of which sparkled in the sun so gorgeously that it made Tim Tom's eyes ache just to look at them however he had not come to admire these things gorgeous and beautiful though they were but to win the princess patty cake so he walked to the entrance of the castle and seeing no one about entered the great doorway and passed through he found himself in a passageway covered with mother of pearl where many electric lights were hidden in shells of most exquisite tintings at the other end of the passage was a door studded with clastly gems Tim Tom walked up to this door and knocked on it immediately it swung open and the youth found himself in a chamber entirely covered with diamonds in the center was a large diamond throne and on this sat made a clothed in a pure white gown with a crown of diamonds on her brow and in her hand a golden scepter tipped with one enormous diamond that glowed like a ball of fire above the throne was a diamond covered chandelier with hundreds of electric lights and these made the grand chamber of diamonds glitter so brightly that Tim Tom was nearly blinded and had to shade his eyes with his hand but after a few moments he grew accustomed to the brightness and advancing to the throne fell on his knees before the sorceress and begged her earnestly to grant him her assistance Mada was the most beautiful woman in all the world but she was likewise gracious and kind so she smiled sweetly on the youth bidding him in a voice like a silver bell to arise from his knees and sit before her Tim Tom obeyed and looked around for a chair but could see none in the room the lady made a motion with her scepter and instantly at his side appeared a splendid diamond chair in which the young man seated himself finding it remarkably comfortable tell me what you desire said the sorceress in her sweet voice I love the princess patty cake replied Tim Tom without hesitation but she has so evil a disposition that she has refused to marry me unless I am able to cure her of her bad temper which not only makes her miserable but ruins the pleasure of everyone about her so knowing your power and the kindness of your heart I have been bold enough to seek your castle that I may crave your assistance without which I cannot hope to accomplish my purpose made a waived receptor thrice above her head and a golden pill dropped at Tim Tom's feet your request is granted she said if you can induce the princess to swallow this pill her evil temper will disappear and I know she will love you dearly for having cured her take great care of it for if it should be lost I cannot give you another do you wish me to grant any other request before you return to the court then Tim Tom remembered the rabbit and the bird and the spider and told Mata how he had promised to bring back a gift for each of them so the kind sorceress gave him a nice bushy tail for the rabbit and a very pretty song for the bird and a new bright eye for the spider these Tim Tom put in a little red box and placed the box carefully in his pocket but the golden pill he tied to the corner of his handkerchief for that was more precious than the rest having thanked the generous lady for her kindness and respectfully kissed the white hand she held out to him Tim Tom left the chamber of diamonds and was soon proceeding joyfully on his homeward way in a short time he reached the wall of Jasper but the rabbit was not to be seen so while he awaited its coming he lay down to rest and being tired by the long journey was soon fast asleep and while he slept a sly fox stole out from the wood and discovered Tim Tom lying on the ground Oh-ho! said the sly fox to himself this young man has been to visit the sorceress and all warrant he has some fine gift from her in that little red box I see sticking out from his pocket I must try to steal that box and see what is in it then while the youth slumbered unconscious of danger the sly fox carefully drew the little red box from his pocket and taking it in his mouth ran off into the woods with it soon after this the rabbit came back and when it saw Tim Tom lying asleep it awakened him and asked where is my new tail oh I have brought you a fine one replied Tim Tom with a smile it is in this little red box but when he searched for the box he discovered it had been stolen so great was his distress at the loss that the gray rabbit was sorry for him I shall never be able to get home again he moaned weeping tears of despair for all the gifts made a gave me are now lost forever nevermind said the rabbit I shall allow you to go under the wall without giving me the tail for I know you tried to keep your promise I suppose I can make this stubby tail do a while longer since it is the only one I ever possessed but beware when you come to the bird and the spider for they will not be so kind to you as I am the bird has no heart at all and the spider's heart is hard as a stone still I advise you to keep up your courage for if you are brave and fearless you may succeed in getting home after all if you cannot cross the gulf and the river of needles you are welcome to come back and live with me hearing this Tim Tom dried his eyes and thanked the kind rabbit after which he crawled under the wall and resumed his journey he became more cheerful as he trudged along for the golden pill was still safe in the corner of his handkerchief when he came to the white bird and began to explain how it was he had lost the song and could not keep his promise the bird became very angry and refused to listen to his excuses nor could he induce it to carry him again across the gulf I shall keep my word declared the bird stiffly for I warned you that if you returned without the song I should refuse to assist you further poor Tim Tom was at his wits end to know what to do so he sat down near the brink of the gulf and twirled his thumbs and tried to keep up his courage and think of some plan while the white bird strutted around in a cold and stately manner now it seems that just about this time the sly fox reached his den and opened the little red box to see what was in it the spider's eye being small rolled out into the moss and was lost the fox thought he would put the bushy tail on himself and see if it would not add to his beauty and while he did this the song escaped from the box and was blown by the wind directly to the spot where Tim Tom was sitting beside the gulf he happened to hear the song coming so he took off his hat and caught it after which he called to the bird that he had found the song again then I shall keep my promise said the bird first however let me try the song and see if it is suited to my voice so he tried the song and liked it fairly well it sounds something like a comic opera said the bird but after all it will serve my purpose very nicely a minute later Tim Tom rejoiced to find himself on the other side of the gulf and so much nearer home but when he came to the river of needles there was more trouble in store for him for the spider became so angry at the loss of its eye that it tore down the spider web bridge and refused to build another this was indeed discouraging to the traveler and he sat down beside the river and looked longingly at the farther shore the spider paid no attention to him but curled up and went to sleep and the needles looked at him curiously out of their small eyes as they flowed by in an endless stream after a time a wren came flying along and when it noticed the look of despair on Tim Tom's face the little creature perched on his shoulder and asked what is your trouble young man Tim Tom related his adventures to the sympathetic wren and when he came to the loss of the spider's eye and the refusal of the spiteful creature to allow him to cross the bridge the wren exclaimed with every appearance of surprise a spider's eye did you say? why, I believe that is what I have here in my claw where? cried Tim Tom eagerly the wren hopped into his lap and carefully opening one of its tiny claws disclosed the identical spider's eye which Maida had given him that is wonderful exclaimed Tim Tom in amazement but where did you get it? I found it in the wood hidden in the moss near the den of the sly fox it is so bright and sparkling I thought I would take it home for my children to play with but now as you seem to want it so badly I shall have much pleasure in restoring it to you Tim Tom thanked the little wren most gracefully and called to the spider to come and get its eye when the spider tried the eye and found that it fitted perfectly and was even brighter than the old one it became very polite to the young man and soon built the bridge again having passed over the glittering needles in safety Tim Tom pushed forward on his way being urged to haste by the delays he had suffered when he reached the place where he had encountered the snowstorm he found the birds had eaten all the popcorn so he was able to proceed without interruption at last he reached the monarch of Moe's palace and demanded an audience with the princess patty cake but the young lady being in an especially bad temper that day positively refused to see him having overcome so many obstacles Tim Tom did not intend to be thwarted by a sulky girl so he walked boldly to the room where the princess sat alone everyone being afraid to go near her good day my dear patty cake he said pleasantly I have come to cure your bad temper I do not want to be cured cried the princess angrily go away at once or I shall hurt you I shall not go away until you have promised to marry me replied Tim Tom firmly at this patty cake began to scream with rage and threw her shoe straight at his head Tim Tom dodged the shoe and paid no attention to the naughty action but continued to look at the pretty princess smilingly seeing this patty cake rushed forward and seizing him by his hair began to pull with all her strength at the same time she opened her mouth to scream and while it was open Tim Tom threw the golden pill down her throat immediately the princess released his hair and sank at his feet sobbing and trembling while she covered her pretty face with her hands to hide her blushes and shame Tim Tom tenderly padded her bowed head and tried to comfort her saying do not weep sweetheart for the bad temper has left you at last and now everyone will love you dearly can you forgive me for having been so naughty asked patty cake looking up at him pleadingly from her sweet blue eyes I have forgiven you already answered Tim Tom promptly for it was not you but the temper that made you so naughty the princess patty cake dried her tears and kissed Tim Tom promising to marry him and together they went to seek the king and queen those good people were greatly delighted at the change in their daughter and consented at once to the patrodle a week later there was a great feast in the valley of Moe and much rejoicing among the people for it was the wedding day of Tim Tom and the princess patty cake end of the seventh surprise recording by patty cunningham the eighth surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Caroline Shapiro the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum the eighth surprise the bravery of Prince Jollican there is no country so delightful but that it suffers some disadvantages and so it was with the valley of Moe at times the good people were obliged to leave their games and sports to defend themselves against a foe or some threatened disaster but there was one danger they never suspected which at last came upon them very suddenly away at the eastern end of the valley was a rough plain composed entirely of loaf sugar covered with boulders of rock candy which were piled up in great masses reaching nearly to the foot of the mountains containing many caves and recesses the people seldom came here as there was nothing to tempt them the rock candy being very hard and difficult to walk on in one of the great hollows formed by the rock candy lived a monstrous gigaboo completely shut in by the walls of its cavern it had been growing and growing for so many years that it had attained an enormous size for fear you may not know what a gigaboo is I shall describe this one its body was round like that of a turtle and on its back was a thick shell from the center of the body rose a long neck much like that of a goose with the most horrible looking head perched on the top of it this head was round as a ball and had four mouths on the sides of it and seven eyes set in a circle and projecting several inches from the head the gigaboo walked on ten short but thick legs and in front of its body were two long arms tipped with claws like those of a lobster so sharp and strong were these claws that the creature could pinch a tree in two easily its eyes were remarkably bright and glittering one being red in color another green and the others yellow, blue, black, purple and crimson it was a dreadful monster to see only no one had yet seen it for it had grown up in the confinement of its cave but one day the gigaboo became so big and strong that in turning around it broke down the walls of the cavern and finding itself at liberty the monster walked out into the lovely valley of Moe to see how much evil it could do the first thing the gigaboo came to was a large orchard of preserved apricots and after eating a great quantity of the preserves it willfully cut off the trees with its sharp claws and utterly ruined them why the gigaboo should have done this I cannot tell but scientists say these creatures are by nature destructive and love to ruin everything they come across one of the people being in the neighborhood came on the monster and witnessed its terrible deeds whereupon he ran in great terror to tell the king that the gigaboo was on them and ready to destroy the entire valley although no one had ever before seen a gigaboo or even heard of one the news was so serious that in a short time the king and many of his people came to the place where the monster was all having hastily armed themselves with swords and spears but when they saw the gigaboo they were afraid and stood gazing at it in alarm without knowing what to do or how to attack it who among us can hope to conquer this great beast asked the king in dismay yet something must be done or soon we shall not have a tree left standing in all the valley of Moe the people looked at one another in a frightened way but no one volunteered his services or offered to advise the monarch what to do at length Prince Jalakin who had been watching the monster earnestly stepped forward and offered to fight the gigaboo alone in a matter of this kind said he one man is as good as a dozen so you will all stand back while I see where the beast can best be attacked is your sword sharp? asked his father the king anxiously it was the sharpest on the tree replied the prince if I fail to kill the monster at least it cannot kill me although it may cause me some annoyance at any rate our trees must be saved so I will do the best I can with this manly speech he walked straight toward the gigaboo which when it saw him approaching raised and lowered its long neck and twirled its head around so that all the seven eyes might get a glimpse of its enemy now you must remember when you read what follows that no inhabitant of the Valley of Moe can ever be killed by anything if one is cut to pieces the pieces still live and although this seems strange you will find if you ever go to this queer valley that it is true perhaps it was the knowledge of this fact that made Prince Jalakin so courageous if I can but manage to cut off that horrible head with my sword thought he the beast will surely die so the prince rushed forward and made a powerful stroke at its neck but the blow fell short and cut off instead one of the gigaboo's ten legs quick as lightning the monster put out a claw and nipped the prince's arm which held the sword cutting it from its body as the sword fell the prince caught it in his other hand and struck again but the blow fell on the beast's shell and did no harm the gigaboo now very angry at once nipped off the prince's left arm with one of its claws and his head with the other the arm fell on the ground and the head rolled down a little hill behind some bonbon bushes the prince having lost both arms and his head as well now abandoned the fight and turned to run knowing it would be folly to resist the monster further but the gigaboo gave chase and so swiftly did its nine legs carry it that soon it overtook the prince and nipped off both his legs then its seven eyes flashing with anger the gigaboo turned toward the rest of the people as if seeking a new enemy but the brave men of Moe seeing the sad plight of their prince and being afraid of the awful nippers on the beast's claws decided to run away which they did uttering as they went loud cries of terror but had they looked back they might not have gone so fast nor so far for when the gigaboo heard their cries it in turn became frightened having been accustomed all its life to silence so that it rushed back to its cavern of rock candy and hit itself among the boulders when Prince Jollican's head stopped rolling he opened his eyes and looked about him but could see no one for the people and the gigaboo had now gone so being unable to move he decided to lie quiet for a time and this was not a pleasant thing for an active young man like the prince to do to be sure he could wiggle his ears a bit and wink his eyes but that was the extent of his powers after a few minutes because he had a cheerful disposition and wished to keep himself amused he began to whistle a popular song and then becoming interested in the tune he whistled it over again with variations the prince's left leg lying a short distance away heard his whistle and recognizing the variations at once ran up to the head well said the prince here is a part of me at any rate I wonder where the rest of me can be just then hearing the sound of his voice the right leg ran up to the head whereas my body asked the prince but the legs did not know pick up my head and place it on top of my legs continued the prince then with my eyes and your feet we can hunt around until we find the rest of me obeying this command legs took the head and started off and perhaps you can imagine how funny the prince's head looked perched on his legs with neither body nor arms after a careful search they found the body lying upon the ground at the foot of a shrimp salad tree but nothing more could be done without the arms so they next searched for those and having discovered them the legs kicked them to where the body lay the arms now took the head from the legs and put the legs on the body where they belonged then the right arm stuck the left arm in its place after which the left arm picked up the right arm and placed it also where it belonged then all that remained was for the prince to place his head on his shoulders and there he was as good as new he picked up his sword and was feeling himself all over to see if he was put together right when he chanced to look up and saw the gigaboo again coming toward him the beast had recovered from its fright and tempted by its former success again ventured forth but prince Jellikin did not intend to be cut to pieces a second time he quickly climbed a tree and hid himself among the branches presently the gigaboo came to the tree and reached its head up to eat a cranberry tart quick as a flash the prince swung the sword downward and so true was his stroke that he cut off the monsters head with ease then the gigaboo rolled over on its back and died for wild and ferocious beast may be killed in moe as well as another part of the world having vanquished his enemy prince Jellikin climbed down from the tree and went to tell the people that the gigaboo was dead when they heard this joyful news they gave their prince three cheers and loved him better than ever for his bravery the king was so pleased that he presented his son with a tin badge set with diamonds on the back of which was engraved the picture of a gigaboo although prince Jellikin was glad to be the hero of his nation and enjoyed the triumph of having been able to conquer his ferocious enemy he did not escape some inconvenience for as the result of his adventure he found himself very stiff in the joint for several days after his fight with the gigaboo end of the eighth surprise recording by Caroline Shapiro Oakland California USA the ninth surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Patty Cunningham the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of Moe and his people by L. Frank Baum the ninth surprise the wizard and the princess within the depths of the mountains which bordered the valley of Moe to the east lived a wicked wizard in a cavern of rubies it was many many feet below the surface of the earth and cut off entirely from the rest of the world save for one passage which led through dangerous caves and tunnels to the top of the highest mountain so that in order to get out of his cavern the wizard was obliged to come to this mountaintop and from there descend to the outside world the wizard lived all alone but he did not mind that for his thoughts were always on his books and studies and he seldom showed himself on the surface of the earth but when he did go out everyone laughed at him for this powerful magician was no taller than my knee and was very old and wrinkled so that he looked comical indeed beside an ordinary man the wizard was nearly as sensitive as he was wicked and was sorry he had not grown as big as other people so the laughter that always greeted him made him angry at last he determined to find some magical compound that would make him grow bigger he shut himself up in his cave and searched diligently amongst his books until finally he found a formula recommended by some dead and god magician as sure to make anyone grow a foot each day so long as the dose was taken most of the ingredients were quite easy to procure being such as spider's livers, kerosene oil, and the teeth of canary birds mixed together in a boiling cauldron but the last item of the recipe was so unusual that it made the wizard scratch his head in perplexity it was the big toe of a young and beautiful princess the wizard thought on the matter for three days but nowhere could he think of a young and beautiful princess who would willingly part with her big toe even that he might grow to be as big as he wished then, as such a thing was not to become by honestly the wicked wizard resolved to steal it so he went through all the caves and passages until he came to the mountaintop standing on the point of a rock he placed one hand on his chin and the other on the back of his neck and then he recited the following magical incantation I wish to go to steal the big toe of a princess I know in order to grow quite big and so I'll change to a crow no sooner had he spoken the words than he changed into a black crow and flew away into the valley of Moe where he hid himself in a tall tree that grew near the king's palace that morning as the princess truella was lying late in bed with one of her dainty pink feet sticking out from under the covers in through the window fluttered a black crow which picked off her big toe and immediately flew away with it the princess awoke with a scream and was horrified to find her beautiful foot ruined by the loss of her biggest toe when the king and queen and the princes and princesses having heard her outcry came running in to see what was the matter they were each and all very indignant at the theft but search as they might nowhere could they find the audacious black crow nor the princess big toe and the whole court was in despair finally tim tom who was now a prince suggested that truella seek assistance from the kind sorceress meta who had helped him out of his own difficulties the princess thought well of this idea and determined to undertake a journey to the castle she whistled for her favorite stork and soon the great bird came to her side it was pure white and of an extraordinary size when the stork had been saddled the princess kissed her father and mother goodbye and seated herself on the bird's back when it instantly rose into the air and flew away toward the castle of meta traveling in this pleasant way high in the air the princess crossed the river of needles and the deep gulf and the dangerous wood and at last was set down safe at the castle gates meta welcomed the pretty princess very cordially and on being told of her misfortune at once agreed to assist her so the sorceress consulted her oracle which told her truly anything she wanted to know and then said to the princess your toe is in the possession of the wicked wizard who lives in the ruby cave under the mountains in order to recover it you must go yourself to seek it but i warn you that the wizard will put every obstacle in your path to prevent your finding the toe and taking it from him oh dear exclaimed truella i am afraid i shall never be able to get my toe from such a horrid man have courage and trust in me returned meta for i believe my powers are stronger than his i shall now furnish you the weapons you must use to overcome him here is a magic umbrella and in this basket which you must carry on your arm you will find a lump of putty an iron ball a mirror a package of chewing gum and a magic veil all of which will be very useful here also is a winged dagger with which you must protect yourself if the wizard attempts to harm you with these enchanted weapons and a brave heart i believe you will succeed so kiss me my child and start on your journey truella thanked the kind sorceress and mounting the saddle of her stork flew away toward the high mountain in which dwelt the wicked wizard but the naughty man by means of his black magic saw her coming and sent such a fierce wind to blow against her that it prevented the stork from making any headway through the air therefore in spite of his huge wings and remarkable strength the brave bird was unable to get an inch nearer the mountain when truella saw this she put up the umbrella and held it in front of the stork whereupon being shielded from the wind he flew easily to the mountain the princess now dismounted and looking into the hole at the top of the mountain discovered a flight of stairs leading downward taking her basket on her arm as she had been directed truella walked boldly down the steps until she came to a door but then she shrank back in a fright for before the door was coiled a great serpent not quite a mile long and fully as large around as a stick of wood the girl knew she must manage in some way to overcome this terrible creature so when the serpent opened its mouth and raised its head to bite her she reached within the basket and finding the lump of putty threw it quickly into the serpent's mouth the creature snapped its jaws together so suddenly that its teeth stuck fast in the putty and this made it so furious that it wriggled around until it had tied itself into a hard knot and could wriggle no longer seeing there was no further danger the princess passed the door and entered a large cave which was but dimly lighted while she paused to allow her eyes to become accustomed to the darkness so she might see her way a faint wrestling sound reached her ears and a moment later there came toward her a hideous old woman lean and bent with wrinkled face and piercing black eyes she had only one tooth but that was of enormous size being nearly as large as the tusk of an elephant and it curved out of her mouth and down under her chin where it ended in a very sharp point her fingernails were a foot long and they also were very sharp and strong what are you doing here asked the old woman in a harsh voice while she moved her horrible fingers as if about to scratch out truella's eyes i came to see the wizard said the princess calmly and if you will allow me to pass i shall give you in return for the favor some delicious chewing gum chewing gum croaked the old woman what is that it is a dainty of which all ladies are very fond replied truella taking the packet from her basket this is it the old woman hesitated a moment and then said well i'll try the chewing gum and see what it is like there will be plenty of time to scratch out your eyes afterwards she placed the gum in her mouth and tried to chew it but when she shut her jaws together the great tusk went straight through her neck and came out at the back the old hag gave a scream and put up her hands to pull out the tusk again but so great was her excitement that in her haste she scratched out both her own eyes and could no longer see where the princess was standing so truella ran through the cave and came to a door on which she knocked instantly it flew open and before her she saw another cave this time brightly lighted but filled with knives and daggers which were flying about in every direction to enter this cave was impossible for the princess saw she would immediately be pierced by dozens of the sharp daggers so she hesitated for a time not knowing how to proceed but chanceing to remember her basket she took from it the iron ball which she tossed into the center of the cave of daggers at once the dangerous weapons began to strike against the ball and as soon as they touched it they were broken and fell to the floor in a short time every one of the knives and daggers had been spoiled by contact with the iron ball and truella passed safely through the cave and came to another long stairway leading downward at the bottom of this she reached the third cave and came upon a horrible monster it had the body of a zebra the legs of a rhinoceros the neck of a giraffe the head of a bulldog and three corrugated tails this monster at once began to growl and run toward her showing its terrible teeth and lashing its three tails the princess snatched the mirror from her basket and as the creature came near her she held the glittering surface before its eyes it gave one look into the mirror and fell lifeless at her feet being frightened to death by its own reflection in the mirror truella now walked through several more caves and descended a long flight of stairs which brought her to another door on which was a sign that read a wizard esquire office hours from 1045 until a quarter to 11 the princess knowing that she had now reached the den of the wizard who had stolen her big toe knocked boldly on the door come in call the voice truella obeyed and found herself in a large cave the walls of which were lined with rubies in each of the four corners were big electric lights and these shining upon the rubies filled the cave with a deep red glow the wizard himself sat at his desk in one of the corners and when the princess entered he looked up and exclaimed what is it you really i did not expect to see you how did you manage to pass the guards i placed within the caves and passageways to prevent your coming here oh that was not difficult answered truella or you must know i am protected by a power stronger than your own the wizard was much annoyed at this reply for he knew it was true and that only by cunning could he hope to oppose the pretty princess still he was resolved not to give up the big toe and less obliged to for it was necessary to complete the magic compound what do you want he asked after a moment's thought i want the toe you stole from me while i was asleep the wizard knew it was useless to deny the theft so he replied very well take a chair and i will see if i can find it but truella feared the little man was deceiving her so when he turned his back she took the magic veil from her basket and threw it over her head immediately it began unfolding until it covered her completely from head to foot the wizard walked over to a cupboard which he opened and while pretending to search for the toe he suddenly turned on a big faucet that was concealed under a shelf at once the thunder rolled the lightning flashed and from the arched ceiling of the cavern drops of fire began to fall coming thicker and thicker until a perfect shower of burning drops filled the room these fill hissing upon truella's veil but could not penetrate it for they all bounded off and were scattered upon the rocky floor where they soon burned themselves out seeing this the wizard gave a sigh of disappointment and turned off the faucet when the fire dropped cease to fall please excuse this little interruption he said as if he had not been the cause of it himself i'll find the toe in a few minutes i must have mislaid it somewhere but truella suspected he was up to more mischief and was on her guard she saw him stealthily press a button and in the same instant a deep gulf opened in the floor of the cave halfway between the princess and the wizard truella did not know what this meant at first unless it was to prevent her getting across the room to where her toe was but soon she noticed that the gulf was moving toward her slowly but steadily and as it extended across the cave from wall to wall it would in time be sure to reach the spot where she stood when she would of course fall into it when she saw her danger the princess became frightened and tried to escape through the door by which she had entered but to her dismay she found it locked then she turned to look at the wizard the little man had perched himself upon a high stool and was carelessly swinging his feet and laughing with glee at truella's awful peril he thought that at last he had certainly found a way to destroy her the poor princess again looked into the gulf which was gradually getting nearer and she shuttered at its vast depths a cold wind began to sweep up from the abyss and she heard mocking laughter and savage growls from below as if evil spirits were eagerly waiting to seize her just as she was giving way to despair and the gulf had crept very close to her feet truella thought of her winged dagger she drew it from her bosom and pointing it toward her enemy said save me from the wizard's art fly until you reach his heart foil his power and set me free this is my command to thee in a flash the dagger flew from her hand and struck the wizard full on his breast with a loud cry he fell forward into the gulf which in the same instant closed up with a crash then when the rocks about her head ceased trembling from the shock the door swung open leaving the princess at liberty to go where she pleased she now searched the wizard's cupboard until she found her toe which had been safely hidden in a little ivory box truella stopped only long enough to put on her toe and then she ran through the caves and up the stairways until she reached the top of the mountain again there she found her stork patiently awaiting her and having seated herself on its back she rode safely and triumphantly back to her father's palace the king and queen were delighted when she recounted to them the success of her adventure but they shuddered when they learned of the fearful dangers their sweet little daughter had encountered it seems to me said the good queen that a big toe is scarcely worth all the trouble you have had in recovering it perhaps not replied the princess thoughtfully but a big toe is very handy to have when you wish to dance and after all i succeeded in destroying the wicked wizard which surely repays me for the trials i have been forced to undergo end of the ninth surprise recording by patty cunningham the tenth surprise of the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of moe and his people this is a libravox recording all libravox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit libravox.org recording by magdalena cook the surprising adventures of the magical monarch of moe and his people by l frankborm the tenth surprise the duchess bread and butters visit to tervey land the duchess bread and butter was 47th cussan to the monarch of moe and great-grandniece to the queen so you can readily see she was nearly related to the princess patty cake and had blue blood in her veins she lived in a pretty house on the banks of the root bear river and one of her favorite amusements was to row on the river in her boat which although rather small was light as a cork one day as usual the duchess went for a row on the river expecting to return home in about an hour but after floating a long distance down the stream she fell asleep in the boat and did not awake until she felt a sudden shock then sitting up and looking about her she found to her alarm that the boat had drifted to the end of the land of moe and was in the rapids leading to the great hole in the ground where the river disappeared from view becoming very much frightened bread and butter looked for the oars of her boat that she might row to the bank but soon she discovered that the oars had fallen overboard and were lost leaving her without any means of saving herself the poor duchess now began to cry out but no one heard her gradually the boat came nearer and nearer to the great hole now bumping against the rocks and now spinning around with the current until it lasted pause for an instant on the very brink of the chasm down which the river fell the girl sees the sides of the boat in a firm grasp and the next moment it plunge headlong into the hole after the shock was over bread and butter wiped the moisture from her eyes and looked to see where she was and what had become of her she found that she had landed in a very remarkable country and for a time could do nothing but gaze in wonder on the strange sights that met her view the trees were all growing on their top branches with their roots high in the air and the houses rested on the tops of their chimneys the smoke going into the ground and the doorsteps being at the tops of the buildings a rabbit was flying around in the air and a flock of skylarks walked on the ground as if they belonged there bread and butter rubbed her eyes for at first the girl thought she must be dreaming but when she looked again everything was in the same unnatural position to add to her amazement she now saw a queer creature coming toward her she might have taken him for a young man only he was just the reverse of any young man bread and butter had ever seen he stood upon his hands which were clad in boots and used his feet as we use our hands seeming to be very handy with his toes his teeth were in his ears and he ate with them and heard with his mouth he also smelled with his eyes and saw out of his nose which was all very curious when he walked he ran and when he ran he stood still he spoke when he was silent and remained dumb when he had anything to say in addition to this he wept real tears when he was pleased and laughed merrily whenever anything grieved him it was no wonder the duchess bread and butter stared in surprise when such an odd creature came up to her backward and looked at her solemnly from his pug nose who are you ask bread and butter as soon as she could find breath to speak the young man kept quiet and answered my name is upsy down i think you are laugh bread and butter you think i'm what demanded the young man the voice coming from his ear upside down she replied at this retort the tears rolled down his cheeks with joy why it is you who are upside down he said how in the world did you get up here down here you mean corrected the duchess with dignity i mean nothing of the kind he said silently while his nose twinkled with amusement this country is up and not down what country is it inquired bread and butter much perplexed by such an absurd statement why turbulent to be sure what's the answer oh side bread and butter but she was no wiser than before now you are here said upsy down you may come home with me and eat some dinner i shall be very glad to answer the duchess who was really hungry where do you live over there replied upsy down pointing to the south so stay where you are and follow me then he walked away on his hands in exactly the opposite direction from that he had indicated bread and butter followed him and shortly after encountered several other people of just the same queer appearance as her conductor they looked out of their noses at her in great surprise and without speaking asked upsy down who she was the duchess bread and butter he silently answered i found her where the root bear river bubbles up isn't she a queer looking creature she is indeed they all answered in a still chorus and then they follow the girl out of curiosity as boys follow a band or a dancing bear when they reach the house of upsy down more than a hundred inhabitants of turvieland were at bread and butter's hills and upsy down's thumbs she was welcomed very kindly however and the young man's mother kissed the duchess with her left ear an act which was considered a special mark of favour in turvieland would you like to stand up and rest yourself until dinner time asked the lady when the girl had entered the parlor no thank you replied bread and butter who was very tired being ignorant of their customs she did not know these people usually stood up when they slept or rested her answer seemed to satisfy upsy down's mother who thought when she said no she meant yes you really don't look equal to lying down she remarked pleasantly so you may stand until i call you to dinner which will be in a long time then she excused herself and walked backward out of the window which bread and butter noticed they all used instead of doors damn me said the duchess when she was left alone i am sure i shall never be able to understand these strange people but i mean to sit down anyway and if it really is a long time before dinner i shall probably starve in the meantime she had not rested more than a few minutes however before the lady again put her foot through the window and waving it invitingly toward her exclaimed go away to dinner go away replied the duchess in dismay where shall i go to why to me of course answered upsy down's mother dummly but she winged her nose thoughtfully as if she scarcely knew how to converse with her strange visitor surely bread and butter ought to know that when they say go in turbulent that meant come in spite of her uncertainty she followed her hostess and when they enter the dining room the duchess was shocked to see all the family stand on their heads on their chairs and pick up their knives and forks with their toes she was more horrified however when they began to eat for contrary to all custom these people place their food in their ears and they did it so calmly that she did not even remonstrate remembering it must be their habit to eat in this way she herself sat down in a chair in a proper manner and began to eat with a fork in her hand and when the people of turbulent saw this they all shed tears of merriment just then the youngest child of the family began laughing and the mother rushed to it as fast as her hands could carry her to see what was the matter but the child had only put its foot into its pocket and could not get it out again the mother soon managed to get it free and then the child stopped laughing and began weeping as happily as any of the others bread and butter was greatly bewildered at all this but she ate heartily nevertheless and after having begged her in vain to stand on her head as they did the family let her alone being surprised to see how well she could use her hands after dinner upsy down sister played on the piano with her toes while the others indulged in a dance whirling around on their thumbs in a manner truly marvellous and seeming by their tears to enjoy themselves very much as the dance ended a kitten came running into the room on its ears and the tip of its tail and this looks so funny that bread and butter began laughing but seeing she had frightened her kind friends who wanted to send for a doctor she refrained from laughing and asked gravely if she could not find a way to return to the valley of Moe the only possible way of getting down there replied upsy down is to jump into the root beer river but that would be dangerous and none of our people have ever tried it any danger said the duchess I will gladly brave for otherwise I shall be obliged to spend my entire life down here among people whose ways are exactly opposite to my own if you will kindly take me to the river I shall lose no time in making an effort to return home they good-naturedly assented to this and walked backward with her until they came to the place where the river bubbled up it really did bubble up bread and butter noticed although she knew very well she had fallen down the great hole but then everything was topsy-turvy in this strange land the girl found her little boat which had stranded on the beach and having placed it where she could push her into the river she turned to say goodbye to the queer people of Turby land I'm glad to see you go said upsy down without speaking for I like you but you are a strange creature and perhaps know what is best for you here are some oars for your boat for I see you have none and when you get down to your country you may need them bread and butter joyfully accepted the oars and placed them in her boat then the people of Turby land all kissed her with their left ears and waved their toes in farewell while the Duchess got into the boat and pushed her out into the river instantly she was in the midst of such a whirling of foam and rushing and roaring of root beer that she could neither see nor hear anything gasping for breath the girl clung tightly to the sides of the boat and in a few minutes it was all over and the boat bobbed up in the valley of Moe just above the great hole bread and butter then seized the oars and rowed hard until there was no danger of her falling in again and soon she passed the rapids and was rowing safely up the river to her own home of course the duchess was very glad again to be among the people who acted in the natural manner instead of the absurd fashion of her friends the turvy landers she resolved that whenever she rode her boat upon the river again she would be careful to keep away from the great hole for she realized that another visit to Upsie Down and his people would be very trying to her nerves end of the tenth surprise