 No. Welcome back to the Janet Julian podcast. I'm kidding, it's not the podcast. This I think is the first time I've ever made five videos in a series on my channel ever. We've made it to five! Celebration. Or maybe not, I don't know, you let me know. This has been one of my favorite things to make. I think the last one that I did was about a year ago almost now. And it's reviewing bad apps. One of my favorite things to do is to go into the app store and find just the worst apps and try them out. There's three that I downloaded this time that cost over $10. They look horrible. We are the garbage men of the app store. Do we dive in to the filth and we take out the trash? So this first one is called, I think it's just called Blower and all of the reviews were like, on the thing it said, it blows real air. It really blows air. Okay, I'm intrigued. So I guess we press on. It's nothing. Yeah. It's an illusion because it's a laugh. It's really negligible amount of air. That much air is coming out. It's burning your phone. I like that your only options are on, off, demo, and share. Is it 99 cents worth of blowing power? No, it's zero cents worth of blowing power because it doesn't blow. I farted. That's blown more air than that. Yeah, you can just make some with your mouth. It's probably better than that. Yeah, that's just really not good. I'm really happy. It's really not good. This one is called My Talking Pet. Let's take a picture. BGP. We've seen apps where just the stock dog or cat or whatever talks, but this allows you to make your own dog. To make your own dog. My name is Peach and I'm Have a basketball game tomorrow. I have a basketball game tomorrow. Oh my god. This is nightmare. Wrong. This is not a bad app. This is an amazing app. Can I do Kermit? Can I do Kermit? Yeah, you got to take a picture of it. All right, Kermit, come. Happy nightmares. I just heard that. Why did you have to take a picture of him when he was angry? Um, he's photogenic when he's mad. Let me see it. Hold on, we got to add some bro. We don't. He looks pretty cuddly. OK, I like this app until you just made it in abomination. That's three fucking dollars. So I mean, is it three dollars worth of fun? It has a five star rating. OK, I think that's well deserved. It's pretty great. This next one is called the skin tanner. Oh, I could use it. Get a perfect tan every time. Cover skin with lotion? Sorry, sorry. Oh. Is this just like a paintbrush app? You're like, oh. OK, let's go darker. I want to go darker. Wait. I don't get it. Oh, that's lighter. You got to go darker. Is this like one of those prank ads? Get that arm. Oh, what is that? Oh, shit. They wish. Natural, man. That app costs a dollar. Do you have to post? Like, you say the picture. Does it save it with that title on top of it? If they had a good marketing team, it would. OK, this one is called brace yourself. You look cute. Don't look at lips and say that. I got an ad already. All right, let's go. Honestly, some of these apps, like, it's just about who can be the most creative in how they put an ad in it. We're going to give you some braces. Wait, the whole app is just giving you braces? Yeah, it's Photoshopping braces onto your. Brace for four years. It's not something you want for that long beach. Oh, my God, oh, stop. Save. Oh, my God, stop. I'm saving it to my library. I'm having a nightmare. What do you think? Let's make them white. Babe, brace yourself, OK? I have to rate this app like zero. It is just like so it's bringing back way too much. What if I told you you can share it directly to Facebook with only the watching three ads? I'm going to need you to look away for a sec, please. Sure, drill in. When you go to the orthodontist and he give you this look. He's giving you braces. He's heartfelt. He just wants your teeth to get better. He looked like the kind of orthodontist that didn't go to school. Not only did I not go to orthodontist or dentistry school, I didn't go to any school ever. When you invite me to participate in these videos, I like to bring something that a taste maker would bring. Someone who knows culture, art, and finer things. I found an app called Fartbox. Can I do it? Can I explain some of the features? You have a sound board with 1 through 20. Different types, tones, and moods of fart. And you can range them from gassy to spicy farts. That's gassy, not bad. But if you want it to be spicy, my favorite part is the timer, right? So five seconds away, you just slide it in, you're like, mm-hmm. Karen! How much did that cost? $0.99. OK, don't sell it to me. It's a bad app. Can I just show you fart noise number 17, please? Sure. It costs $0.99 to get 20 more farts. I can get 20 more farts for way cheaper. Thank you for sharing this, a terrible fucking app. Get premium? This next app is called Tickle Me. Hello? My name is Julian. I'll be touching you. Can I leave now? Babe, you told me to do it. Oh my god. This is some sick shit. Wow. This is like some weird tickle fetish shit. Yes, it is. This is like some really fetishy shit. Like listen, OK? If your fetish is tickling and everyone's consenting, go for it. But to me, this is a little like. Oh, this is so creepy and weird. No, I'm going to close that one. Yeah, we should call it a day on that one. I'm done with tickle her. Also, I'm sorry. That's OK. I forgive you. This is called pickup lines. OK, oh, this is good. I like this one. Are we related? Do you want to be? Oh. That's disgusting. Is he offering to adopt her? If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning. He's a cannonball. I'm going to vom. Roses are red. Violets are blue. How would you like it if I came home with you? I'm calling the police. This is a hot-o-meter. Perfect. What? I think this might be fixed. I think it's real. Do you want to hang out with me? Shut up. Shut up. What are you drinking? Shut up. Shut up. This is so bad. It's one record. Shut up. It's not even like a multitude of, I don't know. They shouldn't be able to sell that. That's a joke. I feel like there's like no regulation on the app store. None. We're not going to enter. They can just make whatever they want and charge whatever they want for it. I might just sell my nudes on the app store. You should. Honestly, you can probably get $11 for them. Yeah. And you get a fucking clash of clans that add on my nudes, dude. Those nudes go up in value real fast. This is called sharks. You watch live speeds of sharks. How about this one? Is this one around? Functionality is definitely there. None of these are available. I can't even watch any live sharks. They stole from me. Please like and subscribe because Jenna spent money on this video that she'll never get back. This person stole from me. They literally stole from me. I wanted to watch live sharks. No. All right. So this is a live with me. OK. I'm finally at 96% so I can finally play. Hey. What is it? It's just a chat board. It's just a message board. For people who have phones above 95%? Yeah. So you're telling me that for die with me, first thing you're going to do when your phone hits 5% is you're going to hop on that app to see what your pals are up to? No one said anything on here for an hour. But if I dip to 94, I can't be on here anymore. You're not welcome. Well, here's fucking live with me. That's it. So is die with me any different? These cost money, though, by the way. Die with me was 99 cents. 4%. I'm at 4%. Open die. My name. Julian. Well, people are typing in Chinese right now. Go type. Hi, y'all. I'm at 4%. This is crazy. Wait, nothing's happening on my computer. This is going to fall. That's because everyone's so stressed out. This guy says, feeling so stressful, I want to cry. Then why are you on that app? Consular PC. Sean, let's squad. I'm making friends. Someone want to play together? Sean, me. He said, OK, we're at the same percents. It's kind of romantic. This is actually insane. Something about this social network app is, like, fucking hilarious. It's funny. Like, your phone's dying. So this is where you go to talk to people as your phone dies. Oh, he's down to 3%. He's going to be gone soon. I like die with me. I will say, alive with me is terrible. But die with me seems kind of lit. Die with me is dope. It's like a simple app. There's no other UI. It's just this message. Alive with me is the most boring thing ever. Yo, hop on, die with me. Let's chat. I stay below 5% all day, every day. I want to group up on Steam. Let's play PUBG. Let's talk about our feelings and let our phones die in peace. I love you. Is it 1% or is it give a fuck? Kissy emoji? Get off that app. These last three each cost $10.99. Oh, god. First one is called downhill snow catch. There's no way this is the whole game. There's no way this is the whole game. It's like someone walked up to me and stole $10 to me. Hopefully deadly sexy beach will be better. Are you eating people? They're these super basic platformers with no animation, no fucking sound. $10? Where do they get off? Who funds these apps? $10. Hopefully sexy love game will be better. This was $11 suit. Tease their legs while fulfilling their secret fizz. Tease their legs, me. Is it just a picture? No, it's not. No, it's literally not. Oh, you shake it and it tells you what to do. Touch their shoulder while listening to your heartbeats? What? Get over here. I like it. $11 million. Delicately touch their shoulder. Take a look. I love your hands. Thank you. We do these and we find some that we like. I actually like that pet talking app. And Julian really likes Die With Me. Die With Me is on my front page of apps right now. But those last three are criminal. But there's stuff like that all over the app store. How do they get away with this? I feel so happy. We've been scammed. I need some Jesus dust on me. I need Jesus. You want some Jesus? Is Jesus going to give me my $33 back? No, Jesus ain't got nothing for you stupid ass to buy in that app. These are some of my favorite videos to make because I really love looking for just the worst apps. And I want to show you just how criminal it fucking gets on there. We're exposing them is what we're doing. But yeah, that's it. Make sure you subscribe to my channel. I put it in the Facebook Wednesday slash Thursday. I want to invent an iPhone charger that will not charge your phone above 5%. So you can just stay on Die With Me. What have you been? She smells like food. All right, we have to go. See you next week. Bye.