 The Kraft Food Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilded Sleeve. The Great Gilded Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft makers of Velvita, the famous pasteurized processed cheese food that tastes so good and is so good for you. Yes, Velvita is another of the Kraft family of fine foods. Foods you can depend on for delicious eating, for wholesome healthy eating. So remember, to get the cheese food of quality, get Velvita, the cheese food that's made by Kraft. This Friday afternoon in Summerfield, school is out and the Great Gilded Sleeve's nephew Leroy is heading for home. But he isn't exactly burning up the sidewalk. He seems to be puzzled about something. He walks a few steps, then he stops. There's something going on. He walks a little further, then he stops. I can tell when I was trying to pull something. I can see through him like a book. Now, as he walks on, his nose lifts to the wind like a beagle. He catches a scent. And there he goes, up the walk, down the driveway, up the back steps, through the back door. Where have you come from? School. Where are the donuts? On the table, Cooley, but that belonged to Miss Marjorie. Oh, boy! You stay away. Don't do it for the Girl Scouts. Okay, I'm a Girl Scout. Get your hands off that. Don't notice anything funny about Uncle Mort lately. What do you mean? Well, he's been acting awful funny, haven't he, birdie? He ain't been acting no funnier than usual. He has to me. I noticed this morning when I came downstairs. Get away from the donuts. Well, I just did that way. It must be magnetism. Well, this morning when we were eating breakfast, he had a kind of a look on his face. Especially when we were talking about next week. I didn't notice any look. Kind of like the chep ate the canary. I'll bet you anything. He's trying to pull a fast one on somebody. Get away from those donuts. I was just waving my arm. Well, wave it the other way. You're making this silly talk about Uncle Mort just so he can snitch something. I am not. Something fishy. That's something to do with me. Lee Roy, your uncle wouldn't put nothing over on you. How do you know? And he took me to Peavey's drug store and bought me a soda. I didn't even ask him. Don't glare at me through that peephole, Judge. Is that you, Gelde? Do I look like Eisenhower? Let me in. Come in, Gelde. I couldn't tell who it was at first. You had the end of your cigar in the peephole. All right, Judge. I thought at first the front porch was on fire. I can't stay, Judge. I'm away home. Stopped in to see if I could borrow your big suitcase. You know the one with the palm beach stickers on it? Oh, certainly. Now, where is that big suitcase? Do you have it? If I had it, I wouldn't be here to borrow it. Oh, that's right. I recall now I loaned it to Miss Matterhorn last June, which you drove to Duluth. But I can get it for you, Gelde. Oh, that's fine, Judge. Can I have it soon? I'll bring it by first thing in the morning. Where are you going? Well, keep this under your hat. But I'm going to a water commissioner's meeting in Omaha, taking the train. Why is it under the hat? Is it illegal? It's because of Leroy, Judge. Every year when I make this trip, he pesters me to go along. Last April, the meeting was in Sheboygan. The only place in the world he wanted to go was Sheboygan. Pested me night and day. All right, George, I'm not going through it again this year. How can you help it? I'm to find out you're going. No, you won't. You're the only one who knows where I'm going. And I'll do my packing in the garage, and I'll sneak out. Send him a wire after I'm on the train. Well, I hope it works. Leroy is pretty sharp. Well, I'm sharper. I'm going to fool him this time. Nobody knows I'm going, but you and me. If you don't spill the beans, he can't find out. Don't you worry about me. There's no holes in this bean bag. Fine. See you in the morning, Judge. It's after 9 o'clock, Leroy. How does it happen you're staying home on Friday night? Well, when you said you were going to stay home tonight, I decided I'd stay home, too. I'm happy when I'm with you. Well, I'm flattered. Yeah. Marjorie, what about you, my dear? Oh, Bronco's working, and I have all these boxes to wrap for the Girl Scouts. I made donuts. I tried one. It's the Girl Scouts' 40th birthday. If they eat them, it'll be their last. Oh, and they're doing wonderful work, auntie. In these times, we really need them. That's very true, indeed. Well... What's new? Yeah, love, or anything like that. Oh. Oh, no. Nothing at all, my boy. Excuse me, Uncle Mort. Bertie, have you been thinking, aunt? Ours has been a beautiful friendship. Friendship? Yeah. I don't know why, but I trust you. You don't say. We're not just men. We're buddies. Well, I'm glad to hear that. Well, I mean, if I knew something, I'd tell you right away. What do you know? Well... Nothing right now, but why should I tell you? Well, that's the way to do. Anything at all, I knew. I'd tell you. Well, good. Where's the inside section of the paper? Anything at all. You're sitting on it. Oh, yes. You must be pretty keen having a nephew like me. What's this? A buddy. You can tell stuff, please. Leroy, what kind of stuff are you hitting? Oh, all kinds. I'll listen to anything. Well, I appreciate your companionship, my boy. But there's a big difference between being a patient listener and being just plain nosy. And you're nosy. I'm just interested in you. Leroy, I know what you're trying to find out. You're wasting your time and you know it. How do I know it? I don't even know where I'm trying to find out. Well, you're not going to know, either. This is one time when your old uncle is going to keep something strictly to himself. Keep what to yourself? What I'm keeping. What you going to do, huh? I'm going to take a little nap in the couch. OK. I think I'll get something to eat. Leroy, what you doing? Well, if this kitchen was a boat and this iron board was a rail, I'd be sailing to Honolulu. But the way it is, I'm just pressing the Uncle's face. Oh, boy. See, I heard you in there crying away at your uncle. Did you cry up at his name? Nah, he's got something cooking, though, and there's something to do with me. How do you know? I can smell it. This is frustrating. Didn't he give you a hint? Nothing. Well, I was reading in the digest there about how some folks were talking to sleep. Now, if you can't get anything out of him when he's awake, well, you ought to try him when he snoozes. Nah. All he says when he's asleep is, he'll be able and watch you for. Well, I don't know. Here's the article right here. It says, button your lips on the pillow slip. Hmm. How do I see here? It has been found that certain people, if spoken to while asleep, will reply and often answer questions without awakening. Hey, I wonder if that would work with Uncle. Now, don't ask me. I didn't put you up to nothing. I just mentioned it. That's all I just mentioned it. Hey, I wonder. Now, Leroy, don't you get me a noka hoot? We've got to try it. We don't have to try nothing. Don't you get me a noka hoot? What are you scared of? I ain't scared of nothing. Don't you get me a noka hoot? I can't see if he's asleep. Pretty dull conversation. I'm not telling anybody. What are you going to do, Uncle Morty? Oh, did you press? You want to say a thing to Leroy? Leroy is a bum. No, he isn't. He's a nephew. He's a nosy. There she is, too. What are you going to do, Uncle Morty? She's taking the train to the water commissioner's meeting. Omaha. Going to Omaha? Yes, she's... Wake up, bro! Leroy? Leroy, what's the matter? I told you I was going to Omaha. He's been such a hooker. He was the only one who knew. We're like at my hands in that gabby old grout. The Great Gilda Slave will be back in just a minute. 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And you could be sure the main dishes you make with Velveeta will be nourishing too, because Velveeta is rich in high-quality, complete protein, as well as other important food values for milk. What's more, Velveeta is the cheese food every member of the family can enjoy, because it's digestible as milk itself. Stop at your groceries tomorrow and take home a two-pound loaf of Velveeta. Just be sure you see the name Velveeta on the package you buy. Remember, Velveeta is the cheese food of top quality, and it's made only by craft. Well, the new day has dawned on the home of the Great Gilded Sleeve, but the secret of the water commissioner's trip to Omaha is no longer a secret. The cat is out of the bag. Unk, where are you, Unk? I'm here, skating. Can I go with you? I'll get in the way, Unk. No. I'll save you money. I'll wear a short pants and go for half fare. No. I'll get in the truck. I'm riding the baggage car. No. I'll get that hooker. I want to talk to him. Feather-brained old Blammermouth. He doesn't tell me. Leroy don't stand there and tip to me. He's the only one who knew I was going. Just get in. You're all right, Birdie. There's nothing about that. I heard you, Birdie. You heard it? Yes. Can I go, Unk? No. Out of the way, Leroy. You got shaving cream on your face. I know it. Your life is a losing battle. He probably wants room to run. He'll need it. What's the matter? The big suitcase's over. I didn't want to bring it in the house. Leroy might ask questions. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes. What happened to your face? Did you sit too close to the television and somebody hit you with a pie? This is shaving cream and quit changing the subject. What's the idea of telling Leroy I was going to Omaha? Who told him? You did. I did not. Don't point your chin whiskers at me. You did and you know it. Don't you shake your fat finger under my nose, you overblown water merchant? I'll show you. Stand back. You're blowing shaving cream on my glasses. Judge, tell me the truth. Did you spill the beans to Leroy? I did not. I haven't seen Leroy. Then who did it? You're the only one who knew. There's nobody else. That's a mystery to me. Maybe he just took a guess at it. He couldn't have. Well, it's beyond me. I brought the suitcase over. It's in your garage. Thanks, Judge. I guess you're a good friend after all. But if you were the only... I'm not going through that again. Have a nice time in Omaha. You're right, Judge. Here it goes again. Look. Could I have my breakfast? Sure. You eat and I'll tell you some keen stuff. I can't eat with that map on the table. You've got Montreal in my oatmeal. Okay. I don't want to hear any more about the trip. We're not going to mention it again. Okay. Who told you I was going? We're not talking about it anymore. Leroy, don't be stubborn. Good morning, Auntie. Leroy. Marjorie. Right, George. That's the answer. The judge told you I was going on a trip, didn't he? What trip? The one we're not talking about. Auntie, I haven't seen Judge Hooker for a week. Are we talking about it again? Of course we're talking about it. Come on, girls! Leroy, I told you... What's this all about? I must have missed something. I don't want to go with him. Maybe, Aunt. I didn't say maybe. Okay, perhaps. No. Okay, but there's a chance. No! Auntie, you're shouting. Well, I have to shout to get the idea across to your brother. He's been pestering and teasing and heckling since last night. He hasn't stopped once. That's why I didn't want him to know I was going. If I ever find the knucklehead that told him. I'm sorry, Aunt. Well, let's forget it. We'll let bygones be bygones. Who did tell you, Leroy? Sure. Just to find who was it. Oh, let's let bygones be bygones. You're all right, all right. What's the matter, Auntie? Nothing. Just to eat. Everybody eat. I'm perfectly all right. Aunt. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other. Not a bit. Aunt. Yes. You're spreading jam on your napkin. You understand? What can I do for you this morning? Pee-Vee, the first thing you can do for me is answer a question. Yeah, there's no charge for information. Did Judge Hooker tell you I was going to Omaha? But I recall that he did tell me you were going to Chicago. Chicago? When was this? Back in 1932, I believe. Pee-Vee, I am talking about now. Yesterday. Last night. That covers quite a bit of time. Pee-Vee, stop feeding around the bush. No, I'm critiquing me. Have you talked to the judge since yesterday? Is he all right? Don't ask me, I'm asking you. No, I don't believe I have. Well, Count Pee-Vee, somebody told Leroy I was going to Omaha. Somebody had to tell him. All right, what about it? What about it? Nobody did. That's what about it. The boy isn't a magician. How'd he find out? Don't ask me. You're driving me crazy. How would you feel if you saw something happen if you couldn't explain? How would you do if your soda fountain suddenly rose up in the air and floated around the room? I'd call it a plumber. Well, I'm not licked yet. I'll get to the bottom of this if it kills me. What's going with that bag? I'm packing some stuff. Where do you think you're going? You heard what your uncle said at breakfast. Just give me time. I'm not licked yet. I haven't even started. Here, birdie, take the bag. Duck it in the kitchen. There you go. Get me into cahoots again. I don't know why Mr. Jillsley's got to go to Omaha anyhow. Boy, don't start anything. I'm not starting anything. Well, don't. I just said hi. And don't grin at me either. You're not as smart as you think you are, you know. I know it. I'll find out where you got that information. I have ways, you know. Sure you will. This may seem like a very clever trick to you. It's very simple to me. I have a few brains, too. Oh, I know. You're one of the smartest men I know. Longer than I have. Well, just don't forget it. You've done a lot of things and been a lot of places and seen a lot of things that I've never seen. I'm just a little kid. I've never been anywhere. Well, you'll have your chance. It's tough, aunt, being a kid. Everybody else gets to do things and go places. Yeah, Leroy. Other people have money. They can do things. A little kid doesn't have any money. He has to sit and wait for somebody to take him. Don't start that again. I sit here at home day after day. Lonely, where at the office? I have nobody to talk to. You do, too. Just women. I want to be with you, aunt. I miss you when you're away. I sit all alone and look at your picture. Leroy. I've been wasting the most beautiful years of my life. I'll be a little boy very long. I'll be grown up and gone away. There's lots of time. This is when I need you, aunt. When we should be together. Taking trips. I'll make a deal with you. You're not so fast. I was going on this trip. If you can find out when I'm leaving, I'll take you along. No kidding. I'll tell you right now it isn't going to be easy because you have no judge-hooker or anybody else. I haven't told anybody I'm going. I guess I'm out of luck. Let it be a lesson to you, boy. Hiding things from your old uncle, prying secrets from my friends, bound to catch up with you in the long run. You're always so right about everything. Well, I'm right about most things. Aunt, you look kind of tired. Me? I just got up? Your eyes look kind of heavy. Maybe you didn't sleep very well last night. As a matter of fact, I didn't after you woke me up. Why don't you stress out on the couch, aunt? Sure looks comfortable, doesn't it? You'll be right. Stop pushing. Well, I want you to protect your health. You're the only uncle I have. Well, nice of you to take such an interest, my boy. Your couch does feel good. Sure. Don't feel too badly about not going to Omaha with me, Leroy. You'll have your chance. Sure. Maybe real soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Uncle Mort, when are you going to Omaha? I'm leaving on the 8.15 tonight. 8.15? Yeah. What's that racket? Just nice things. Well, it'll be a little more quiet. I suppose it will. Gilded sleeve will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Any between-meal appetites at your house? Then make it a point to keep stock with Velveeta, Kraft's golden, pasteurized, processed cheese food. Velveeta is not only a wonderful helper for hot, main dishes, it's a perfect snack food, too. It's delicious with a fine, rich, yet mild cheddar cheese flavor, and it's wholesome. What's more, Velveeta is digestible as milk itself, so it's perfect any time for anyone. Get it tomorrow. Velveeta made by Kraft. Good night, my boy. I want it for the way a kid takes to a train. You wish I could be that comfortable in an upper berth. Do a little reading. A darn littler berth is pretty tight. You wonder how Leroy figured out when I was leaving? It's amazing. Digest magazine. You wonder if there's anything worth reading in here. Button your lip on the pillow slip. People answer questions in their sleep. Say, silly. But I wonder if that would work on Leroy. Leroy. Are you awake? He's asleep. This darn ladder over here. Leroy. How did you know I was going on this trip? How did you find out when I was going? Go back to bed. Good night. Oh, what for you? Good night. Played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott, Mandy White, and is partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Rod, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Dick LeGrand. Musical compositions by Jack Meakin. This is John Easton saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilderslee. Done up just right, a delicious hamburger can be truly a gourmet's delight. A big deal in eating pleasure. Of course, just about every good cook knows that a dash of Kraft-prepared mustard really makes a hamburger. Because when you add a little mustard, you add a lot of tang. Kraft mustard naturally. There are two kinds of Kraft-prepared mustard. Mild Kraft mustard if you like it smooth and delicately spiced. Snappy Kraft mustard with horseradish added if you like it nippy. Get both kinds of Kraft-prepared mustard at your food store. Next, Groucho Marx presents You Bet Your Life on NBC.