 When someone offers something and neurotypicals refuse at least three times before accepting it, someone I don't know well, does anyone want anything from the shop, everyone else? No, don't worry, thank you, me, yes, aureus please, everyone looks at me like I've got five heads. Don't offer without intention of fulfilling with the assumption of people refusing the offer, it doesn't make sense. Yeah, that's probably like I relate to that a lot. I'm gonna go make a cup of coffee, do you guys want anything? Yeah, I would actually, I'd like some buttered toast, please. Oh, you mean just coffee? Oh, okay, sorry. Yeah, I've had situations like that as well. It's like people saying, oh, help yourself, I'm like, I have to ask the clarifying question, because people will just say help yourself. And they don't actually mean help yourself, they mean take to a socially acceptable amount, if you know what I mean. If someone has like a box of celebrations, when they say help yourself, they don't expect you to like sit with a box of celebrations near you and just like, continually like eat the chocolates. So I have to ask them like how many, how many celebrations can I have, you know, that would be, that's usually why I have to say, I just don't know what they actually mean. It's always a question, critical thinking, society's condition is to try not to be neurotypical. That's true. Or the opposite, are you sure you don't want anything three times? Yeah, indeed, indeed. And then you say, okay, go on then. Just take the minimal amount until they say you only ate minimal amounts, then eat more. Take like, get a celebration, get like a knife and like put it in half and then rewrap the half of the celebration and put it back. In our very normative society, we quite often label things that are atypical or out of the norm as weird, as strange. Well, diving into different subsections and communities on the internet, you will find in some places that those who are usually the minority, they are the majority in these places. And so we have a video here from ONTAP Studios, which goes into some of the interesting Reddit posts replies to autistic people. What is the strangest behavior you've seen in neurotypicals? People who aren't autistic, people who do not diverge in any way. I think a better sort of word for that would be all this stick, more accurate word. But hey, let's go for it. Autistic people of Reddit, what is the strangest behavior you have observed from neurotypicals? The Minnesota Long Goodbye, cultural norm in the Midwest, where you say bye, chachat for a few minutes, take a few steps toward the door, chachat for a few more minutes, repeat a few times, until the time it takes from saying bye to actually leaving is over 30 minutes. This also happens in the South. I've seen a goodbye take hours. Have you guys experienced that? I have as well. I've kind of got to a point with it. It causes me so much stress just to like figure out how to leave a conversation that I've basically defaulted to just leaving. In some situations, if I'm having like a random sort of chitchat with someone at the gym, I'll just be like, alright, and then I'll just go off on my own. Or I'll just instigate like a right, I need to get off now, goodbye, and give like a hug and just like, this is like a move away. Communication. Like when someone puts their hand on you when they talk to you, or leans on you when they laugh, it took me a very long time to not be freaked out when people touch me. And for me to realize that it helps communication if I occasionally touch people too. I mean, I don't have a problem with things like handshakes and hugs, but other stuff is weird. I don't mind too much about like handshakes and hugs because you can usually tell that it's coming. Whereas like, when someone sort of is talking to you and they see that you're upset, they almost instinctually like put their hand on the back of your neck or the back of your top of your back or your shoulder or your arm when you talk. I know that there's one particular person who kind of lives on my street and any time that I've ever interacted with them, they'll always like, they always like touch me on the arm and I'm just like, I mean, I'm not like that physically, like on the outside. But internally, I'm like, why are you doing this? Why are you touching me? Sometimes like if someone's consoling me and I'm quite close to them, and I feel like, you know, I feel comfortable around them. I don't mind so much if like, you know, they just come at me and just give me a hug or like put their hands on my shoulder. It's not too bad. But when it's strangers, when it's like people I don't know, that's just a little bit different. Light hugs generally. Yeah, when people when really upset, don't touch me. It's a protective thing. Got that sensory defensiveness. As a young female, I have to constantly analyze the possible meaning for strangers touching. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I feel like in the in the instance where I was talking about a person on my street. I think it is definitely some some form of like inappropriate touching to some degree. It just seems to happen. Or like when I've been to the nightclubs with my friend, it just seems that like people just just kind of feel like that they're okay to like touch my arms because I go to the gym. And I'd like, oh, that would be a good thing for people to be to touch in this like, no, get off me. Leave me alone. Oh, no, no, there was a worse situation that I came across. I was I was outside waiting for I was doing like a work meeting with one of my sort of supporters. They get they kind of helped me sort of was like access to work. So it's like a government program to like don't really matter. But there was this guy who Kate who sort of was walking down and he looked pretty sad. He looked like he'd been like crying and he had like a bunch of flowers in his hand. And he seemed to be pretty inebriated by a number of like substances that I don't know. And he sort of sat down to me and he was chatting. I was like, do you want me to get you some some protein powder? And I was like, I was very kind of you. Good sir. But I'm good. I was like, oh, you're looking good. Like you going to the gym, you working out and he's like touching my arm. I was like, okay, no, I'm good. Thank you. No protein powder. Thought some people who say autism isn't real and it's just excuse to not have to do anything. I think that's ridiculous. That's my fault. I hate being touched in general. This is going to be a very long video because I'm going to have to I might I might try and pick out ones that I particularly agree with so that we're not just like constantly stopping and starting the entire time. Thing where people will just start moving in some direction as a group without anyone knowing where they are going or why they are going in that direction. It creeps me out. Sarcasm. I can dish it out, but it's a lot harder for me to recognize it being dished back. I hate it when people ghost me and expect that I'll get the message. I'm kind of I'm kind of okay with sarcasm, but it's it tends to be very dependent on like how much I know somebody because people express it in a lot of different ways. Some people are like really dry and it's really difficult to tell when they're being sarcastic like my dad. My dad is extremely sarcastic and I kind of lent lent his sense of sarcasm, which is is basically giving no hints at all that you've been sarcastic. It's kind of a very dry way of using it, which is probably not the best thing to do, but I find it funny. But I can tell when he's doing it, but other people it's it just tends to be quite difficult to know, especially if I don't know them. Some use sarcasm to hide a bucketload of things too. Yeah. Message. I honestly will just assume you're too busy to text. Same. Oh God, same. I have been left waiting weeks for friends to be free to message me back. The most awkward thing maybe in my entire life is having someone cry around me. I have no idea how to properly comfort them. I haven't really cried in probably 15 years, maybe more. I've had loved one die, got married and watched my daughter's birth. No movie or song has ever brought me to tears. Just never had that feeling come over me. Trying to explain this to my now wife back when we were dating was like trying to teach her Mandarin. She's from a big family of cries. Yeah, I think maybe that's related a little bit to it like to find me, I would say. I don't mind sarcasm as long as it's actually funny. I mean, I'm very much like a person who will just say stuff to make myself laugh. So I can understand how irritating that can be. Almost every big gathering or holiday someone starts crying after a big announcement or something. I don't know how to handle it. I try to just get out of their way and let them hug until the tears of joy end. Passive aggression can get super, maddeningly weird. If I'm lucky it's amusing. If not, I'm having dang trouble understanding what is wrong and it makes me super anxious and angry. Just say what you mean. Yeah, I mean, I think I feel like a lot of people have that opinion of like being passive aggressive. But I think like at my point, because I'm so focused on like advocating for my own communication style, I don't even acknowledge when people are being passive aggressive. I just like ask them what's wrong. Like if they seem to be a bit off, just directly just ask them. And if they say it's all good, I was like, cool. Awesome. This is the time it makes me uncomfortable. I just leave the room when people cry. It has nothing to do with me, so I just give them space. I sometimes come back late to talk about the problem with them. Yeah, I mean, if people are just like crying in the vicinity, I don't tend to like go up to them and sort of console them. But like if it's if I'm having like a conversation with somebody and they start crying, like it's just kind of like me and them or it's like me and just like a very small group and I'm quite close to them. I'll probably just like, you know, give them a hug or something like that and, you know, listen to them. Usually people when when they're crying and they're upset, they just want like to vent and to like talk about it, you know. LMAO, my husband tried silent treatment when we started dating. I didn't get it and it flops. How people can tolerate such noise and such bright lights. That always pisses me off the most. Normal people stuff I can actually cope with quite well thanks to the amazing parenting skills of my mother and some great help growing up as a kid. But it's the bright lights, the loud noises, the overwhelming environments that most people seem to be able to tolerate. At work there's another autistic guy who works with me. It's funny. We both complain about how excessively bright the lights are and how we want them switched off. We complain about the background noise. We went peace, darkened quiet to do our jobs. I mean, that's just just related to like people having different light sensory profiles. I don't know if that's like strange behavior or not, but I think I think that's that's one thing. Especially like if you're in a group and you're like meeting up with like another autistic person and you sort of like in a group situation and you both autistic and you just kind of look at each other and you're like, it's quite noisy in here, isn't it? It's like, yeah. I wish it wouldn't. I wish it quietened down a little bit. The only reason I can cope is because I work part-time. Expecting that I need company when- That's an interesting one, the part-time thing. It does, like, I don't know how you guys feel, but I feel like I definitely work like much faster and more intensely than most people. But I also don't necessarily have like, like I get burnt out very very quickly when I'm in like employment. Like I'll just work really, really, really hard for like a day or two and just find that I've like completed all of my work. Because the employment, like the pay that you get, it's not necessarily about like the work that you've done, it's about like the hours that you've done. It kind of screwed me over a little bit because it's like, you know, I do all this work and I do it to like a high degree and I do a lot of it in a very short space of time. But then I've still worked the same amount of hours as other people. I think there definitely needs to be some like, when it comes to like adjustments and things like that. Maybe that could be something that, where places implement a bit more. Spent three to four months not leaving the house at times. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that like a, is that something that you wanted? From my experience I have had like times in my life where I've been pretty like agoraphobic. To a point where it really got in the way of me doing things. I've heard from other autistic people that they have similar experiences. I worked half a day yesterday and spent all today sleeping. Yeah, that's another bad thing. It's like, if you work a full-time job, you know your weekends, you don't really have any time to do your hobbies or go socializing and all that stuff. Because you're just so burnt out and you need that like time to just sit by yourself and like watch videos. No, I mean just like sleep, maybe. It's way, way too much sometimes. When going out to eat, shopping, working out, etc. I not only am okay with executing these tasks alone. I actually prefer it most of the time. I enjoy people, but I equally enjoy time to process my own thoughts while also having the freedom to operate on my own time. I have never understood why people go to museums and groups or with others. I like to look at everything and read about it at my own pace. Being able to spontaneously do something instead of plan it out. I would prefer at least a week in advance of knowing what's happening, but I'm trying to cope with the fact that that's not always possible. Spontaneous plans do still stress me out though. How do NTs just dive into something social and not think anything of it? I don't know if I'm like similar in that way because it really depends. If I've been like socializing quite consistently for like an amount of time, then I kind of get used to it. I kind of get used to being sort of spontaneous about things like that. I think when I'm in sort of the midst of my daily sort of independent routine, it can sometimes be a bit sort of dysregulating to a certain degree. But I'm definitely not like much of a planner to be honest. I probably should be. It's not very organized. Tends to be like social things. It's like one or two days before. I'm not autistic, but I sure do need some downtime, 100%. I wish we could have our own time, or tea time. Maybe you can do that. I'm self-advocating in this social situation. I need my or tea time. One makes a joke that sounds mean, but people laugh because they know it's a joke. But when I try a joke like that, they all think I'm rude. It's like people have this mental link that says, oh yeah, you're being funny. Not necessarily strange, but I don't know why people insist on using complex social cues and signals. I have no idea what you want. Please use your words and make it easier for both of us. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's necessarily like always like a cognitive thing. I think people are just used to it, like allistic, neurotypical individuals. They just kind of, it's just so like ingrained in like the way of communicating and behavior. I don't know if it's always like a conscious effort like that, but it seems to be when people are using these sort of indirect forms of communication. If you talk to people individually in the group, like a lot of people have their own ideas of what actually goes on and why they said it in certain ways. They're not always completely sure. It's just kind of like one of the things it's like it's very shade of gray and everybody has their own sort of interpretations of it. It's interesting. Where are we going? For how long is going to be there? Do I need money? I have a lot of questions I need to know beforehand. It's just about planning more about needing to feel more grounded. It's like the certainty of it. If you have like a stable routine as well, obviously going to like cut into that routine somewhat and sort of effect later routines due to the like the energy demand. Neotypical people have more secretive actions and words than the Freemasons. I think sometimes, yeah. I know some people who are neurotypical and they're very direct communicators. I tend to get on with people who are like that to be honest. A lot of the time they do tend to be autistic, but there are some people who you do like, not necessarily like using indirect communication. Depends on the person. The house is a mess. Please do the laundry. Although it gets difficult there because like once if the autistic person has a persistent drive for autonomy or like a PDA profile, pathological demand avoidance, if you haven't heard of it, like if you say please do the laundry, they might be like, no. Contact and focus seem to come so easy for you guys. I struggle immensely with eye contact and focus. Also, how can you guys stand pointless small talk? That crap pees me off. Eye contact and focus don't come easily to everyone. They are trained and developed consciously. Small talk is a low commitment method of bonding. The words that are said aren't as important as the subtext, which is I'm taking the time and effort to connect with you. Freaking subtlety everywhere. Just be direct. Seriously, do you want something? Say it. Does something bother you? Say it. People who can watch a TV show or have a favorite animal or play a video game and just be a special interest. How do you do that when I like something I need to know everything about it and there isn't a minute goes by that I don't think about it or reference it somehow. How do people just consume content in moderation? What's it like just enjoying things casually? Don't you feel guilty when you change interests and one of your previous interests gets shelved because you're focusing on something new. I don't get it. Not asking why. That is so relatable. Law is a PDA I feel called out, JK. Things just because it's social conventional tradition and not questioning it. I've always found that weird and I think it can be quite harmful. People will do something that bad for them just because it's the done thing. When there are a million other ways of doing it that are not harmful or when it's something they don't need to do in the first place. Yeah, if it doesn't make sense how it do it, like just pull it out like I'm not gonna just do things because that is the way that people do things. It's like why? Why are you letting society and other people tell you what to do? It's crazy madness. When someone offers something and neurotypicals refuse at least three times before accepting it. Someone I don't know well. Does anyone want anything from the shop? Everyone else? No. Don't worry. Thank you. Me. Yes. People filling with the assumption of people refusing the offer. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, that's probably like I relate to that a lot. I'm gonna go make a cup of coffee. Do you guys want anything? Yeah, I would actually I'd like some buttered toast please. Oh, you mean just coffee? Yeah, I've had situations like that as well. It's like people saying oh help yourself. I'm like I have to I have to ask the clarifying question because people just say help yourself and they don't actually mean help yourself. They mean take to a socially acceptable amount. If you know what I mean. Someone has like a box of celebrations when they say help yourself. They don't expect you to like sit with the box of celebrations near you and just like continue to really like eat the chocolates. So I have to ask them like how many how many celebrations can I have? You know. That would be that would be that. That's usually why I have to say also I just don't know what they actually mean. Always question critical thinking. Society's condition is to try not neurotypical. That's true. Or the opposite. Are you sure you don't want anything three times? Indeed. And then you say okay go on then. Just take the minimal amount until they say you only ate minimal amounts then eat more. Take like get a celebration get like a knife and like put it in half and then rewrap the half of the celebration and put it back. My wife's big family loves to sit around the dinner table and just chit chat for hours after they finished eating. I can't do it. I just don't understand it. They all live within 20 minutes of each other and see each other every week or so. It's not like everyone is coming from across the country to meet up every six months. There's not three hours worth of conversations to catch up on. I usually eat in like 20 minutes and then go upstairs to play video games or whatever with my nephews. Put this over there. I put the thing in the place they pointed or nodded at. No not there I mean on the shelf there. FFS just say that. The thing for me I do the thing. By this thing I meant that thing plus these related things. Next time I take the initiative and do more than what I'm literally told to do. I don't want to be seen as being lazy or difficult. Why are you doing that? I didn't tell you to do that. FFS am I supposed to read your mind? A friend once had something cooking and told me to watch the stove and I nodded and stood by it. Then they came. It's so relatable. It's so relatable. Not having clear clarifying instructions to the point where you've got to ask. And then like people label you as like the person who always has to ask questions all the time about things. It's like just do it. Stop asking questions. I don't know what you want me to do. Tell me. They came back a second later and said sorry I should have specified. I meant to maintain the stove as in keep stirring the stuff on it or they're starting to catch on. Eye contact is so weird. How do they know how everything works? Especially with social cues and things like that. It's like everyone has a rule book that explains how to do everything perfectly except for me. Acting fake. It's like subcortical learning something like that. They just kind of learn it by association over time and replicate it. Whereas for us we've got to like cortically like consciously process and understand and like implement different things. Or understand different things. It's kind of like learning a different language sometimes. The language of indirect communication. Someone gave me a half eaten packet of crisps once. I didn't know what to make of it. Did she think I would eat the whole bag if she offered them to me? I don't know. I'm not that keen on crisps. I need micro dick details about instructions. Yeah just clarification yeah. My parents said to me once there was a pot on the stove an hour later there was a hole in the melted pot. Fake. Especially pretending to be nice friendly to someone when they really hate their guts and will talk crap about them behind their back. The one time I was with a group of people having a seemingly nice conversation. And when two of the people left the remaining two were like, I can't stand her. That was so awkward lol. I was shocked as I hadn't picked up on the hostile air at all. I can't do it myself if I'm nice to someone. It's because I actually like them or at least they haven't done anything bad as far as I know. If I don't like a person I'll just avoid interacting with them as much as possible so as not to be rude in case what I'm thinking slips out. This is also frustrating because it makes me worry sometimes that people who are nice to me are just pretending for whatever reason and actually hate me. Yeah. I mean I've met some autistic people who do that but it's very rare that will come across someone who does that kind of behaviour. It's not nice is it? I prefer to someone to say I don't like talking to you. I can just say oh okay. And then just like talk to someone else you know. It's like. Oh my god it's the whole social landscape understanding. I've been criticised for asking too many questions. So I pestered that with why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Angela says as a child I would play games under my Game Boy. Under the kitchen. On my Game Boy under the kitchen table when we were having a party. Yeah I used to go under the table to get a bit of rest you know. My god I relate so much I don't know whether to laugh or cry. With repetition every single time you see someone you say hi how are you and go through a meaningless song and dance. How was your week how was your weekend on repeat forever if someone doesn't make eye contact or shakes hands the wrong way or doesn't join your system. You consider them weird. I have found no right answer for this situation. Apparently some people say how are you without expecting an answer. Some people expect an answer even if we're walking past each other and not making eye contact. If I just say good how are you some people don't like that if I give a longer answer. Some people get confused like what did you just say your shoe is wet and it's a big mess. I try not to. People ask you how are you doing and you like I've just been so depressed at the moment. I'm really you know I what I I almost didn't come to this because I've just been doing so horribly I've been crying for the past hour and a half. It's absolutely like jaw dropped. I was just expecting you to to rattle off the same sort of small talking things that everyone else does. Usually when I ask someone how are you and they say yeah I'm good. I usually say if I mean it I probably say no how are you actually doing like how are things. I would love to know. I can't stand it when entities ask me questions like why are you just sitting here alone as if I don't have the right to. It makes me feel like they're calling my behavior weird and unwelcome. How am I I'm likely to survive the day. Sometimes when people ask me how I am. I'll just I'll just reply with how I am and I will ask them back sometimes. It's not it's not like I'm a thing that I'm doing on purposefully. But I just I don't always clock that I'm supposed to ask them how how they are all the time. Especially if I'm like engaging or concentrated on something else you know. That's really caring when you ask like that. Sincere and loving concern. Well that's why I mean like whenever I ask someone how they are like I'm expecting them to tell me how they are. But with with autistic people it's kind of like they generally tell me how they are or like with people I know quite well. But sometimes with like loose acquaintances of people don't really know like how I communicate but like a lot. I do have to ask that because you know I do generally like want to to understand how someone is doing. Once heard that the greeting thing is cultural in some places expect negative responses as polite as positive. Kind of seem to have no problems at all. Sometimes to give myself a giggle like if it's someone I know well and ask me how I am sort of in that very sort of robotic kind of small talky way. I just say I just say I'm doing terrible. It makes me laugh but you know I was singing to clarify that I was making a joke to run into people but it's hard. Also if you're walking down a long hallway and see someone you know at the other end at what point do you say hi. Do you shout across the hallway or just wait to speak until you're close. Do you stare at them the whole way down or only notice them when they are close. I am so lost in person. Oh it's true. It's true. It's like you see someone from a distance you go like hi and then they get a bit closer you're like hello. It's like oh it's nice to see you when they get there and you know give the greetings and such. It's true. Like at what point are you like how are you supposed to navigate that. Do you just kind of put your head down until you look away until you get close to them or just decide not to like recognize their presence until you get a bit closer. I like to ask people how their adventures are going. It helps change up conversation not to be the general rhetoric. I like that. I like that. God for the Internet. This is called Fatic Speech and is mainly a social grooming ritual to acknowledge and reinforce relationships through costly signalling. I demonstrate that I still care about you enough to waste my time taking about meaningless things. Playing my usual game of conversation tennis at work. 1. Hi how are you? 2. My mother in law died. 3. Pause did you watch the rugby on Saturday? Vinting. All the days my mother just vents the things that happen in her day but every time I want to give her some advice or a solution to the problem she just ignores me and keeps talking. The same goes for a lot of people. When you see someone you know in the grocery store, talk to them a little and say bye and then you avoid them like the plague whenever you see them again. Yeah. I snub them and laugh. I suddenly become highly interested in the floor when that happens. No, I think whenever that happens to me or I tend to, because people just don't do anything. They do the same and they ignore them. If I would say goodbye to someone and then I saw them again very recently after I would be like, Hello again, it's nice to see you here. And then I'll do it again and it makes me laugh because most people would just like, Why are these all so relatable because it's about autistic people? Probably. Do you have a deal with rage? I never express rage really, to be honest. I don't tend to express outwardly feelings of anger, but I do feel angry and ragey sometimes. That's why I go to the gym. That's why I used to do martial arts and such. It's a good way of getting out my system. I don't particularly like the idea of me being angry or raging at someone. So I just try to mitigate that possibility as much as possible. I hate that grocery situation and there is no escape. What about the situation where you say bye to somebody and then you walk the same way as them? What do you do? Continue walking next to them and continue the conversation. Do you awkwardly assert some distance between you? Do you walk over to the other side of the road? Oh yeah, the walk the same way situation is horrific. I just decide to continue the conversation and then when it comes to a point when we're moving somewhere, you just got to take action in those situations. You have to make a decision very quickly to avoid the feelings of uncomfortable sort of what are we doing kind of thing. Where to walk after you say goodbye? Or what is if they're going the same way and you just like, oh, you realize that they're going that way and you just kind of veer off to the side and you just like go on your phone. But you're not actually doing anything on your phone. You're just waiting for them to get to a point where they deviate from your path. Just rambling about their problems without really looking for a solution. I kind of understand why they do that, but I just hate it. Why wouldn't you want to hear solutions but expect people to listen to you the way they speak? Well, I mean, I do. I don't actually sort of empathize with that point. I think generally when people vent, when people talk like they're not always like looking for a solution. They're looking for like some form of validation for how they're feeling. That's a good hack. If you find yourself in that situation, they're just looking for you to go hmm and sort of listen to them and validate how they're feeling and say, oh, I would feel the same in that situation. Something along those lines. It's almost like no neurotypical speaks plainly. There's always another message hidden behind whatever they're saying. I don't get why they can't just freaking say what's on their mind. If you're angry at me, why are you giving me subtle hints instead of flat out saying this makes me angry? Why do people react weirdly if they ask how your day was and you say it's pretty crappy? Why can't people just say they're not happy or they need something instead of hinting and insinuating it? I just don't get it. A lot of people think I'm blunt and my mother especially always apologizes for me in gatherings saying, oh, you know how Pandine Panic is. But in reality, I'm just saying what I actually think. What's the point of the hidden second language? Also, why do neurotypicals touch each other so much? Try to involve other people in spontaneous plans. Try new restaurants from just looking them up first. Prolonged eye contact. Get upset about her and mom without it being a gender identity issue. Oh, but the worst one, huggers. Strangers who say I'm a hugger come on and I've been trained to hug them but it makes me so friggen uncomfortable and unsettled and if you refuse they just insist or think you're rude and just thinking about it makes me upset. I am a hugger. I know it's not very common feeling but I do love a hug, you know. Hugs are nice in my country. We do the kiss on the cheek and that is really uncomfortable. Yeah, I just refuse to do that. I just don't do that. I'm just like, no, can I have a hug instead, please? Please don't. I just like lean in but I effectively make so much distance between myself and the other person that they just have to kiss the air. I'm an overhugger, you feel the same? I mean, I think I give good hugs, you know. I think I give good hugs, real tight like oxytocin inducing hugs, you know what I mean? To the point that I think some of my friends, they're not really much of a hugger. They're always like, oh, that's good. Or they're like, when they want to finish a hug, they'll like tap you on the shoulder. That's another thing. You know what I mean? Not a fan of sloppy kisses. I don't even care about like the social connotations of it. I will just like wipe my cheek. How about there's huggers that hang on way too long? That's me. Drives me insane. Just come out with it. You won't hurt my feelings by being direct. The thing is, for most neurotypicals, there is a risk that directness will hurt feelings. People who leave the radio or the news on all the time, the more voice like noises I'm hearing at any given time, the harder it becomes to pick one out and give it my full attention. To me, filling a house with vocal glather just communicates that you don't want to talk to anyone. But I've witnessed NT's attempt to hold conversations while listening to the radio. I think more of a modern example of this would be like people who like watch reels, or like shorts on their phone while they're having like a conversation with you. Can't stand it. I can't stand it. It annoys me to die. And like everybody has the like audio one at the same time. It's so over-simulating. It's crazy. But I mean that there is a concept called like body doubling. And you know, usually when I'm doing a piece of work, it's sometimes, so like I'll have my earphones and I'll be like editing a video or something. Like obviously listening to myself and trying to like make the cuts and all that. But I will sometimes like have on my phone, you know, I'll bring up like YouTube on my phone or something. And I'll just put on like some background noise, some like other people talking. Kind of helps me feel a little bit less lonely or alone in my editing process. My boyfriend normally doesn't like hugs, but he said he loves hugging me and I'm a big hugger. So we hug each other very much and long. When I initiate to hug, hug too long too. It depends on the person. If it's just like a random stranger or someone that I've just met, it'll be a quick one. If it's someone I haven't seen in a while, I'll just like, hang on and tell them, hang on them until like they asked me to stop. And I'll be like, okay. I don't get it. Just turn it off or switch to instrumentals or something. Then you can hear each other better. How people react, even if they have been told what to expect. I am face blind. I simply don't see faces. If my wife of nearly two decades would vanish, I could not describe her face to the police. I can recognize her face on a picture, but that is a different kind of thing. The face blindness is only related to real faces, not pictures. I tell people about that so they are not upset when I don't greet them on the street or don't recognize them at certain meetings. But there are people who are still mad that I don't remember them. I think like my reason for like walking past people and not noticing people is more like, I'm usually just off in my own head and I'm kind of okay with sort of semi disassociating to some degree when I'm out in public. Because on the one hand, I don't particularly like meeting the gaze of like strangers as I'm walking. If I see someone that I know, I do have a tendency of like walking past people. Not because I see them and I'm like, oh, I actually don't want to talk to them, but I just do that. I don't give a hug. I'm a true mother hugger. I love that. Sometimes I like people applying pressure. If I'm overly stimulated, that can be good 100%. Well, I like that and I know that people generally like sort of tight hugs. I think like they've done some studies on like oxytocin release and stuff related to like hugs. You're supposed to hold it for like a socially inappropriate amount of time in order to have maximum oxytocin release. All NTs that say they can't communicate more directly have no problem doing it if they start a census with Alexa or Siri or Kukul. And understand how, understand Alexa somehow without eye contact. That's funny Brian. My neurotypical sister sometimes talks to me about problems she's having in her life, like with work or dating. Naturally, I try to think of ways to solve those problems. But when I do that, she gets angry. According to my mom, when my sister talks about those things with me, she's not trying to get help with the problems. She just wants me to listen, agree that it sucks and not offer any solutions. That's so bizarre to me. If it's just the act of talking that's cathartic, why involve another person? What's the point of telling someone about your problems if you're not looking for solutions? I do think it's a validate. I mean, like there is a lot of like social benefits of like validating people's emotions and feelings because I think sometimes it's good to like know that someone empathizes with you, I guess. Do you like picking people up while hooking? I think it's quite easy for me to be honest. Like, I quite often do it. I sometimes do it as a joke, you know, it depends. Or like if I have like a partner or something, then I'll do it. But not just running people. I think like, I think it could be scary for some people. Imagine if I just like went up to like saying goodbye to it to like an acquaintance, someone that I haven't really met and be like, oh, give me a hug and just like picked them up and just like. Tight hugs and me changing for me. Yeah. 20 seconds is I believe for oxytocin. You are correct. I believe it's so counterintuitive and strange. Small talk. The need to belong to a group baffles me in my mind. Being part of the group just means less time for myself. Teasing always gets me anxious. Don't drop hints. I will not get your hints. Just fricking say something. Context. Yeah, the hints. Oh my God. I'm a bit of a nerd on these things, blushes. Text sensitive double standards. When you do it, it's bad. When they do it, it's okay. Why? Explain please. If it's okay for you to do this, why is it not okay when I do the same thing? Here's a more personal example. We had a rule between tattling and telling. Telling was okay because you were telling on someone out of concern for their well-being, i.e. mom, mom. Timmy is playing on the well you told him not to, whereas tattling was telling on someone to get them in trouble. Mom, mom. Timmy hit me when my sister made this really, really mean opening night play about me and I told on her. I was in trouble for tattling because I was telling on her for doing something mean and I was trying to get her in trouble. But when I went on a deleting spree on my sister's near puts account and she told on me, I asked why she never got in trouble for telling on me. Because according to the rules, that was tattling. She did it to get me in trouble, apparently, because I did something very mean and intended to hurt her. That was not tattling. And yet when I told on my sister for doing something very mean intended to hurt me, i.e. writing that play, it was tattling. Explain. Mom and dad, explain. Yeah, yeah, I don't understand that. Do you guys remember Neopets? I seem to remember like glimpses in my brain of playing Neopets. Why did I actually play it? Was it like a video game or was it like a website app? Something like that. It's probably what got me into Pokemon, to be honest. Just kind of gaslighting for the kid, yeah. That's what I feel. Should never hug a guy's girlfriend in front of them, wait for him to leave. I don't do that. I'm like, well, most of my friends are girls and I'm gonna hug them if I'm gonna go. But it's okay if you hug them as well. You gotta give them a hug. Neopets was is run by Scientologists. Is it? What do you mean it's run by Scientologists? Serious? They are pushing NFTs a few years ago. It's still going? My God, maybe we should play some Neopets after this. Explain. Arrogance of any kind really gets under my skin. I meet neurotypical people who feel the need to boast about how great they are because of completely meaningless stuff. It makes me mad and want to tell the person to shut up and get over themselves because they aren't as special and amazing as they claim. I don't think that's that's a neurotypical thing, to be honest. It's pretty it's pretty just consistent as like a personality trait, I think, you know, I actually when I was younger, my mom had to because when I when I would go and like introduce me to introduce myself to like other kids, this is when I was quite young. I would tell them all of the reasons why they should be friends with me. All of the good things about myself, you know, and my mom had to tell me about like that's not a good thing to do because that's boasting. And people don't like it when you when you do that. I think it was joking. I can't tell about hugging a guy's girlfriend. No, I know I definitely like hug my female friends quite a bit. I mean, I've known them for like years and years and years. It's not in that way. I hug everybody. I think a lot of autistic people are arrogant. Yeah, I don't think it's dependent on like someone's neurotype, to be honest. No, it's not it's because it's not intended as being like a like a like an evil thing, malicious thing to be like, I'm hugging your girlfriends. I just hug everybody, you know, even the even the guys who like always stick the hand out for a handshake. Like I'll be like, I'll grab the hand and like give them a hug. Because it's usually those guys that just never get they never get like much like physical contact with their friends. And it's kind of it's kind of sad sometimes that they feel that they can't do that. I mean, some people just don't like it. But job interviewer why are you the best for this job me? I'm not sure I'm not sure I am. Why do you want this job? It just kind of popped up and it seemed like a good thing to do. As big as here, it's surely just me, but I don't get people who smoke or drink. What is the point of it? If doing so just adds another risk of something bad happening to your health. It's definitely not a neurotypical thing. Also as big as being struggling with the same problem. I think to some degree, having a vice is a coping mechanism for people who want their brain to shut up for a bit and let them relax. Yeah, just because neurotypicals act like they're not stressed out by mixed social... I mean, going even further for this, like I'm pretty sure that there is quite a correlation between autism and addiction. So it doesn't really seem like this is a neurotypical thing. Lots of women use the hog to open a door for the hot stuff. Yeah, well, I wouldn't let that happen. That is for sure. No, the firm boundaries in my friendships, that is for sure. Social signals doesn't mean they don't like a break from processing them. And drinking alcohol is one of the easier ways out. Saying good morning to every single individual person. Every single morning. Look, I've been awake three minutes. I don't know if it's a good morning. My throat hurts from just waking up. My breath probably smells. I don't want to open my mouth and speak a lie right now. Shut the frick up. Jesus. Gifts are stupid because they are just a way to exchange money. I'd rather just spend quality time with the people who get me gifts. But if we must exchange them... I've got a sort of level of view. I have been relating to a lot of these things, but these past ones, they're not so relatable. I think when people... One thing that I don't understand is exchanging cards. Exchanging cards. I don't understand that. Exchanging gifts. If you're getting something meaningful, it kind of shows that you listen to what they're interested in. You care about them and stuff. Would you never date a friend? No. My boyfriend would get really mad if another guy hugged me. Pretty much everyone in my life knows that I'm like... Like that. I'm just generally quite huggy and affectionate. But it's never in that way. I would... I'm very respectful. I would say... When it comes to other people's relationships, I would never want to upset people in that way. I often do drink, hardly ever. Hardly ever. The hot stuff paints an interesting image in my head. Yeah, let's move on from that. Tell me what you want. Don't get things I didn't ask for. Don't surprise me. With the holidays coming up, these stress me to no end. Are they supposed to be useful or fun or pretty? What's the question there of? It varies person to person. And I am supposed to put time, effort, and money into picking it out. But it can't just be money so they can get what they want because then if it's not the same amount it is awkward. Why can't we just spend time together? I don't spend time with people that I don't care for or appreciate. Most adults don't make lists anymore either. I make a list every year. And every year it is disregarded because they don't want to get me what I asked for because that isn't special. On my list I can usually tell what it is by looking at it or picking it up. I can usually tell what it is anyways, but they want to make it harder I guess. But then if my reaction isn't what I want it to be everyone gets awkward too. I hate surprises because then I can't practice my reaction and I often have to apologize for it. Gifts are a symbol, giving or receiving gifts which were explicitly asked for says that the person has thought about you and considered that you may like or have some use for said gift. It means they value you. Saying goodbye 3-4 times in different ways. You know the lines of boundaries, yeah, that's true. Life isn't us hurdles, who needs a drama, yeah. Well if someone came up to me and said that they're not comfortable with that then I tried to respect that but my friends I've known them for years and years and years. I love small thoughtful gifts, yeah me too. I'd buy discounted Valentine kids cards and keep them in my pocket to give them out over time over the years. Conversation. Person 1, if I don't see you, have a great holiday. Person 2, always a pleasure. See you soon. You too. Person 1, tell Richard the first say hello. Person 2, okay, I will. Person 1, bye. Person 2, bye. Seems so strange to say goodbye more than once. This is Pizza Cat, he looks for people like you to befriend and give them the gift of unlimited pizza. This can only be granted if you comment pizza please, thanks for watching. There you go guys, comment pizza please in the comments. That was a video from OnTapStudios, that was a fun one, we'll have to do another one of those. Autistic people, what is the strangest behaviour you've seen in neurotypicals? Some of them definitely relate to a large degree, other things maybe not so much. Gotta agree with everybody I suppose.