 From Hollywood the NBC theater Screen directors assignment production the trouble with women director Sidney landfill star Ray Milan The Hollywood screen directors present a comedy with an apology to psychology the trouble with women Starring Ray Milan and introducing the director of the film Sidney landfill It was in the days when vaudeville was bright and shining that the soft-spoken young comedian happened to be performing in Hollywood It also happened that the film studio at the time was looking for a clever new comedy writer the comedian got the job and That's how our guest screen director tonight was ushered into motion pictures He stayed to become one of Hollywood's most skilled directors the creator of such fun-filled entertainment as my favorite blonde Standing room only and the well-groomed bride Ladies and gentlemen the director of the trouble with women. Mr. Sidney landfill Thank you After an introduction like that I think I should mention that a comedy is only as amusing as its story in its cast as for the director Well, he just puts those two things together in the case of the trouble with women It was a particular pleasure both because of my great admiration for Ray Milan and because of the story itself Which presents a completely cockeyed approach to romance now here It is the trouble with women starring Ray Milan in his original role of Professor Gilbert Sedley With Mary Jane Croft as Kate Farrell. I'm from the morning journal Professor Sedley. How about a statement on your new book? Yeah, you've beaten up any women lately. Sorry. No statement. I'll have a heart We're only reporters if you people are from the press professor Mila and myself can give you nothing but sympathy perfectly correct Gilbert you people have distorted my fiance's views made him a laughing stock Oh Martha motherly is the only one who's been writing all those stories. We're on the level Professor Sedley just worried about your new book the subjugation of women if you read it You'll find my entire theory stated there. We don't read professor. Just make a statement. That's all we ask very well As professor of psychology at Midwest University I have proved conclusively that the human female harbors an unconscious desire to be dominated and occasionally Beaten by the human male. Wow, that's it. That's the stuff. How about a professor Miller? How does it feel to be engaged to the man who says women should be beaten our engagement concerns only professor Sedley and myself? Hey Sedley, I got a purely scientific question What is it? You're gonna beat your fiance with your bare hands, or are you gonna use a stick? This this is unbearable dr. Dawson my position as president of the university What will the board of regents say is something wrong wrong? Have you read Martha motherly's column? No here read it Hasn't been for two weeks since professor Gilbert sadly of Midwest University published his book the subjugation of women But already 14 cases of wife beating have been reported and local hospitals have administered treatment of five husbands Oh, but this is adolescent. It's asinine. It's malicious Sedley She also says that you dabble in hypnotism dabble Dr. Dawson Martha motherly has gone too far exactly Sedley you're going to sue you're going to sue the morning journal and Martha motherly Great story great Kate Farrell. You're the best Martha motherly this paper ever had Joe, don't you think we're being kind of hard on him? Yeah. Yeah, keep it up City desk Joe McBride. Oh Hello boss What he is how much Okay, okay, I'm your city editor, ain't I I'll think of something a fine reporter you are Scroll ball sadly suing the morning journal and Martha motherly for 300 grand I'm Martha motherly say say I got an idea Maybe you can do a prison story. I was a woman convict Oh McBride you told me to write that story a story not a libel So what's libelist about that article three misquotations for unproved statements 57 damaging innuendos Well, maybe something's wrong with my typewriter Kate I've got an angle if I get you out of this mess. Will you marry me? Just come and see me on visiting days What's your idea? Look, we said that Sedley likes to hit women. He objects Okay, all we have to do is prove he does like to hit women Katie. You're just the type No, Joe. I'm kidding. How hard can a professor hit? Well, he wouldn't hit a total stranger so you get to know it and what's the easiest way to get to know a professor now Wait a minute. You're going back to school Katie Joe. I can't be a college girl again So what's a college girl a pair of Bobby socks with glasses? You're a cinch now get going Martha motherly and don't come back without bruises Now miss Farrell if you'll sit down. Thank you professor. What a charming study miss Farrell I have become highly interested in you during the past few days Why professor? I am referring miss Farrell to your attitude in class For some reason you bring every discussion around of the question would I hit a woman? Well, would you under certain circumstances? Yes. Why? Well, it's just that I've wondered what a man like you would think of my own problem And what is your problem miss Farrell? I like to slug men indeed Yes, right in the kisser if I hit you professor, would you hit back? I would yes now isn't that nice Miss Farrell. I must say that with your Your uh Well, I never quite conceived you as the the slugging type. Oh, yes. I do it very well Hmm that that perfume you're wearing miss Farrell. What is it? Jasmine Jasmine I mean come in Miss Farrell, I was just leaving professor Miele. Oh, hello Agnes. Good afternoon miss Farrell. Goodbye, professor said Well Gilbert an extremely interesting case Agnes. She slugs men really Gilbert, I've been watching you when that young woman. Yes, I enjoy watching her myself as an intelligent person I flatter myself. I'm above jealousy, but for your own sake. Are you sure your interest in miss Farrell? Isn't more than professional Why yes, yes that explains it. Oh, how perceptive you are Agnes You must fight this Gilbert you must devote all your energies to your current studies on hypnotism strange I didn't realize it myself. I have a curious feeling in her presence I find I breathe harder the customary animalistic reactions Agnes would have wonderful opportunity to study my own reactions a highly civilized man's temporary lapse into the primitive I'll take notes on myself Agnes. Yes. I'll take notes City desk, please Hello, Joe Kate Farrell me Martha motherly. Yeah, well, it's all set. He'll probably hit me tomorrow afternoon No, no, I promise not to duck just have her and bring his camera and hide in the bushes next to the administration building And I'll do the rest No, Joe McBride. I don't want to marry you. I wouldn't marry anybody who would send me out to be beaten up by another man. Oh Once we're married, you'll take care of those intimate little things Goodbye Lovely day professor. Yes. Yes indeed. Do you have a pencil miss Farrell? Oh, yes, certainly right here. Thank you What are you writing in that little book that I wish you'd call me Gilbert? Well, couldn't you just tell me well, you'll have to forgive me Kate if I'm engrossed in my own reactions Oh, of course Gilbert Gilbert I'll write that down Well, here we are professor is The is this the bench you had in mind for our little chat. What's wrong with this bench? Nothing lovely view of the administration building very peaceful and such a fine day. It's a dreary day But before you said it was lovely just because you think it's a nice day, Mr I think it's a nice day now steady miss Farrell your temple leave my temper out of this But you must face reality miss Farrell dare use that word to me you dare oh You struck me miss Farrell defend yourself Professor Sedley your face quick go ahead hit me. Oh, well good afternoon, dr. Dawson professor Sedley you were about to strike this woman well It's a wonderful afternoon with swinging your arms. Yes indeed really dr. Dawson. It was my fault Professor Sedley I must warn you about your conduct. I I'm quite perturbed good day Good day dr. Dawson Amazing what is I even like you when you lose your temper Kate may I borrow your pencil again? Oh, hello Agnes Gilbert I'm worried about you that absurd infatuation. Is it any better? No no it's worse much worse Agnes, I'd like your opinion on these notes. I've been trying free thought analysis and what are your conclusions? Well, they're a little frightening. I've just been sitting here thinking and this is what I've written down Kate Farrell pink champagne Agnes Miele Warm beer You beast oh You struck me Agnes Miele defend yourself Professor Sedley by dr. Dawson Professor Sedley The next time I find you indulging in your morbid practice of striking women. It will be my duty to inform the board of regents Good day. What are you doing here on the campus? Joe sent me he wants you and me to throw a story on Rita LaMade a fan dancer over at the Gayety. She's suing for divorce. She says her husband tore her clothes off Guess he couldn't afford a ticket Oh boy, this is one job. I'm gonna enjoy photographing fan Dancing you can't say you don't give variety working on the morning join. I'm sorry I ever started working for the morning journal Kate. Oh Gilbert Hello, Kate. Did I understand you to say you were working for the morning journal? Well, yes, you see I I've taken a part-time job there But Kate you'd work under the same roof with Martha motherly. Well, it's for my thesis I thought you'd like me to do it on the journalistic mind. I'm getting material at the journal. How courageous of you Kate Professor Sedley, this is Herman Lupin a Photographer hi professor. How do you do? I'm covering this story interviewing a showgirl and her Mr. Lupin will take pictures. Well, perhaps I should go with you case you might need my guidance. Oh, no Gilbert You can't do that. Oh sure he can why not You wait here. I gotta go make a phone call City desk McBride, how are you Herman? No, he is Well stick with Sedley hold on to him. I'll figure something out. Yeah, so long Sometimes I wonder why I don't hate myself Danny Giga, please Hello Danny McBride morning journal. How'd you like some publicity for the Gayety Theater? You weren't good now listen to me and I'll splash the Gayety Rita Lemay and Professor Sedley all over page one You are listening to the Hollywood screen directors presentation of the Trouble with Women Starring Rameland and introducing the director of the film Sydney Landfield Danny Giger's name Just step into the little ladies dressing room. Hey folks. This is Rita Lemay. Hi I'm Hyman photographer and this here is Kate Ferrell reporter and her friend Professor Sedley. How do you do? The pleasure's mine, honey Herman you come with me, huh? Oh professor be sure and stay for the next number. It'll kill you. Yeah, come on Herman Hey professor, we got something in common We have mr. Procley my second husband he taught in college did he yeah the Kensington Barbara College Not that you're like mr. Procley. What a stinker Rita about mr. Frisbee your current husband Didn't you charge that he tore off your clothes mr. Frisbee behaved like a beast Kate Don't you imagine the newspaper readers would be interested in the psychology of a fan dancer? Oh, no gilbert. I don't yeah Yeah, it might be very interesting. Mm-hmm. Miss Lemay Why did you become a fan dancer instead of oh, let's say a stenographer? Don't you mention no steno to me mr. Frisbee had a stenographer and what those two you never mind never mind What I'm getting at is simply this in wearing your scanty costume publicly, mr. May do you gratify any tendency towards exhibitionism? Listen you slob I'm a respectable woman. I cook I knit I crochet. I've been a good wife five times Hey professor come on take a gander to the next act very well. It's a rather warm in here You go ahead gilbert. I want to speak to mr. Lemay alone. What a jake Are you stand right here professor in the wings? I'll be right back. Thank you, mr. Okay girls, there he is the guy who likes to sock women now. You know what you have to do when you go on the stage Oh professor. Yes, come here a minute will you girls you're on take him away Look at that picture. Look at that picture. Ain't it a lulu joe? You're not gonna print it Katie, don't you realize what this photograph means? It means you're playing a filthy trick on a decent guy who wouldn't hurt anybody What do you call that libel suit take it or leave it? Sedley's on his way over now. We got him on a spot katie joe Don't you think we have it coming to us have it come? Have you fallen for this guy? Of course not. Hey joe here comes Sedley Gilbert hello, kate And I suppose you are mcbride. Yeah, that's right. Let me present you with this picture of yourself very tasty Gilbert if I'd realized I know kate, would you rather I didn't publish it sadly I suppose you're going to offer to suppress this picture if I withdraw my libel suit against the paper bright boy Mcbride, I have an overwhelming desire to punch your nose. Yeah, go ahead and try it. I will Wonderful you knocked him out now if I can only find martha motherly. I'll do the same to her Yeah, well come on. Let's get out of here gilbert. You're right kate I've had just about as much of this place as I can stand Hey, hey joe joe you all right Yeah, I'm okay and the phone down here Yeah, here you are joe Hello, give me the composing room Hello, al You ain't got that beauty contest picture on the front page That's right. We're running the picture of professor sedley instead. This is where I live Gilbert It was very sweet of you to take me home. Oh, I I like taking you home. I'll write that down Are you writing in that silly book again? Oh, uh, well, it's just that I hadn't urged to kiss you It's unthinkable of course Of course temperamentally we're oceans apart. Well, uh We're pretty close physically. Well, I I must be completely honest with you kate my feeling for you Yes, Gilbert. Well, very likely it's it's essentially chemical like like what the deer feels for the doe or the Gander for the goose. Well, is that bad? Do you want to kiss me? Yes I'll write that in the book Throw the book away professor We're gonna write a new one starting now Gilbert yes agnes I believe I've found the cure for your infatuation. Oh, it's hopeless quite hopeless might as well face it This book may change your mind quiet Why is the brice college alumni annual and here's kate's picture Catherine farrell now reporter for the midwest city morning journal. You see but agnes She told me all about a connection with the newspaper. This annual. Gilbert was published three years ago That's impossible. Look at the date. I've had the journalism department check on miss farrell She happens to use the pen name of martha motherly You mean kate kate was responsible for those articles. Oh, no Oh You've gone too far dr. Dawson. What look at this picture in the morning journal Gilbert you were no shameless women. How could you oh, what difference does it make now? What difference does it make? Professor sadly, I'm calling an immediate meeting of the board of regents. You would be wise to prepare your resignation Joe, how could you do it? How could you print that picture? Oh, kate. It was news wasn't it news I'm quitting if that's news. I'm through now. Katie on top of everything else The poor guy found out that I'm martha motherly now. We won't even speak to listen kitten I'm human. I can be jealous sadly got my goat Now katie. Look, I love you marry me kitten marry me. I'll do anything you want Anything would be a human being instead of an animated typewriter. I'll give it up I'll quit honest newspaper business. I'll take a publicity job Katie I'll be the best husband you ever saw. Oh joe Do you really think we'd be happy together together? I don't know. It's a part. I'm worried about I'll write my resignation right now. Just watch me City desk Oh, hello, sadly. Now wait a minute. Don't get sore at me Oh, well, yeah, that's that's too bad now. Look sue anybody you want. I'm not even working here anymore. I'm leaving I'm getting married to kate Kate farrow That's right. Marry sadly sadly Funny he hung up joe. You shouldn't have told him that well. I was excited, but it isn't true. Look I'll show you what kind of a husband you're getting sadly said the board of regents is fixing to bounce them because of that picture Why don't you go down straighten it all out, huh? You'll feel better then and then we can talk about us Professor saidly yes, dr. Dawson It's my privilege to inform you that the board of regents has refused your resignation They have miss ferrell that martha motherly girl She told us the whole story blamed herself for everything. You mean kate defended me in glowing terms, sadly She spoke very highly of you. Well, would you say that that she seemed fond of me? I would say that Yes, a fine girl saidly a fine girl If I were you yes, dr. Dawson Think it over saidly That agnes miller somehow reminds me of warm beer Good afternoon, dr. Dawson a good afternoon professor bealer uh miller Gilbert you'll be remaining at the university. So it appears how wonderful I'm doing research in one of your own specialties hypnosis and it's bearing on emotion Oh very interesting subject Gilbert do you think that hypnosis can cause a person to reveal his true emotion love for instance? Yes, but only true emotion for instance, they wouldn't lie about Hypnosis yes, Gilbert That's it hypnosis exactly what i'm talking about that's how i'll find out about her about who gilbert miss ferrell but gilbert she's just a Buddy without a mind and you agnes are mind without a Hand me that phone My attorney, I want him to get that lawsuit of mine into court as soon as possible My professor saidly wishes to make a statement pro sheet Your honor martha motherly in one of her articles alleged that i'm a dabbler in hypnotism I should like to prove to the court that i'm not a dabbler, but a professional pro sheet I shall do this by hypnosis in this very courtroom Objection your honor this demonstration is pertinent to our case pro sheet To set the defences ease your honor. I should like to perform the experiment on one of the defendants miss kathryn ferrell In that case, we're willing to cooperate miss ferrell, please Now miss ferrell. I want you to follow my instructions. Yes, Gilbert I suggest that you observe this very closely your honor pro sheet Kate just watch my eyes and try to relax steadily steadily Your sight is growing dim dim Your sight is growing dim Now miss ferrell you were asleep, but you hear what I say. Don't you? I hear what you say You don't love mcbry. Do you? I don't love mcbryde. You won't marry mcbryde. I won't marry mcbryde You love me. Don't you? I love you Repeat after me. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you I love you. I love you. I love you. You'll marry me. Won't you? Well, it's about time you asked me Of course i'm there you darling But kate, won't you hypnotize not for a second? Then then why did you say I love you because I do What about mcbryde? Oh, I never really said I'd marry him besides you could never leave the paper look at him He's already writing the story what a headline kate. He spent galley court's girl in court. Oh come on kate Let's get away somewhere your honor. This concludes my demonstration in hypnosis with your permission your honor. I love you, Gilbert I'll marry you No, no thanks judge. I already have a girl. Gilbert. I love you. I love you. I love you Our guests will return in just a moment Next week the nbc theater turns the pages of fantasy as we bring you the dramatic screen story It's a wonderful life with the original team of director and star frank capra and jimmy steward And now here again is tonight's star rama land and screen director sydney landfield Said now that we've finished the trouble with women I've got a great idea for a sequel picture sequel to the trouble with women Sure, we'll call it the trouble with screen directors ray It just isn't enough film in hollywood to make that picture Well, it's a comedy about a screen director who finds himself on a radio show and you are unnatural for the part You mean it's going to be a picture about what happens when I get in front of a microphone exactly That isn't comedy ray. That's tragedy You mean you're really afraid of a little old microphone after all the people you've taught how to act You want a one word answer? I do Yes Well in that case, I'll teach you the three magic words of radio Once you know those words said you won't have to be nervous anymore now listen Just those three words? That's right Now go ahead and try them Okay, I will Good night everyone. Good night folks and good night to you. Ray Milan at sydney landfield The trouble with women was presented through the courtesy of paramount pictures whose current release is bride of vengeance starring Paulette gutter john london mcdonnell carry Ray Milan is currently being seen in the paramount picture alias nick biel and can currently be heard on the family hour of stars sydney landfield's forthcoming release is the paramount picture sorrowful jones starring bob hopin lucille ball Included in tonight's cast were mary jane croft frank lovejoy sarah jane wells florins hallop griff barnett herb bygren bob bruce ralph moody and dan riff's The trouble with women was adapted for radio by richard allen simons and original music was composed and conducted by henry russell Production was under the supervision of howard wiley associate producer bill karn Your announcer has been frank barton Listen again next week when the nbc theater presents screen directors assignment production. It's a wonderful life director frank capra star jimmy steward The nbc theater came to you from hollywood. This is nbc the national broadcasting company