 The Crab Food Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. Hee hee hee. It's the Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Crab Foods Company, makers of a complete line of famous quality food products. There's something going on at Gildersleeve's house. All day Gildersleeve's niece, Marguerite, has been running up and down stairs, telephoning, consulting with Bertie. And right now, she's closeted in secret conference with her dearest friend, Francie Dillon. Gildersleeve is downstairs possessing his soul and patience. What Leroy Wissard says is listening outside Marguerite's door. Who's taking you to the bed tomorrow, Francie? I haven't decided yet. Three or four boys have asked me, but I hate to tie myself down. Who's taking you? Ben, I guess. What do you mean, you guess? Well, he hasn't exactly asked me yet. Well, for goodness sakes, it's about time. Can't you get him on his horse? Ben'll ask me when I get good and ready. I mean, when he gets good and ready. He's coming over tonight. Honestly, Marguerite, I don't know what you see. And Ben, he's so slow. He wouldn't say that if you really knew him. Well, I might have something. Well, Ben is older than the crowd you run around with. Personally, I find older men more interesting. If you ask me, all boys are alive, even the nicest ones. Just when you think maybe something's going to happen, they're liable to start talking about baseball. Well, Ben likes hockey. What do you mean about something going to happen? Oh, you know. Why? You might kiss you. I never let boys kiss me. Oh, neither do I. Oh, brother. Leroy! You little corn snake, squealer. What is this, Leroy? You know we don't listen to other people's conversations. Well, man, this wasn't a conversation. It was just a lot of girl stuff. I don't care. Girl stuff is what girls think is important. Maybe it is to them. Anyway, it's up to you to leave them alone. I never would have listened. Only they practically dared me to. How do you mean? Why should they dare you to listen? I don't know. That's girls for you. I was just sitting there in my room, minding my own business. And after a while, I opened the door to see if I was listening. Oh, were you? Nah, girls. Then they began to giggle and squeal. Yeah, I could hear them way down here. I was coming downstairs anyway, so I just stopped to listen for a minute. You shouldn't have done it, Leroy. No matter how great the temptation, no gentleman listens to the woman's lady's door. Okay, I shouldn't have done it. That's not the spirit, my boy. Say you're sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. That's better. What were they talking about? What do they always talk about? Boys. Boys, you say? Oh, anything in particular? Nah, just a lot of hot air. They're talking about the dance tomorrow night and who's taking who and all that kind of stuff. What kind of stuff? Oh, should I know? Gosh, why don't you go and listen to yourself? Leroy? Sorry, young. You watch your step, young man. I'll go outdoors and play for a while. Get some fresh air before supper. Okay, that's what I was going to do anyway. And don't slam the... Don't slam the door. No, thank you, my dear. More than three cups tend to make me a little waker. There's plenty. I don't see why I can't have any. Why can't I have coffee, uncle? When you're 21. 21? For a year, and she's only... That will do, my boy. When you're 21, you may have coffee. Can I smoke then, Sue? If you wish. Boy, that'll be my big year. Doorbells, I'll go. It's probably Ben. Countbounded, Marjorie. I wish your friends would remember that Pete Lee had to practically kick Francie out of here so we could sit down and now... Well, don't keep him standing out there. Oh, I'm all clear. I'll take him in the parlor. She's got to find him up for the dance tomorrow. Oh, shut up. Good job, girls. Oh, no. Oh, no. Well, good evening, Mr. Gilbert Slave. Hi, Leroy. Good evening, Ben. Had your supper, have you? Oh, sure. I'll just wait in the parlor while you finish, huh? Oh, we're all through now. We can all go in the parlor. Hey, Ben, you want to see my gas mask? It's really an army gas mask. Costs a dollar and a quarter. I don't think I'd get much fun out of it. Thanks, Leroy. Okay, then I'll show you my new chemical experiment. It's super, Leroy, for heaven's sake. Ben is here to see your sister, Leroy. It won't be necessary for you to entertain him. Shall we go into the parlor, my dear? You don't have to entertain us either, Uncle. What? Oh, well, just for a minute. Say, Ben, did I ever tell you about the time? They don't guy you, Uncle. Well, he does kind of hang around. Why'd you keep asking him questions? He couldn't get away. But just being polite, I have to be polite to your uncle, don't I? You think he was the one you came to see? I'll bet he's told you about Camp Dick's hundreds of times, but you let him go through the whole thing. Evening's practically shot now. Yeah, I guess it's pretty late at night. I don't think it's particularly late. But of course, if you're bored. Well, not me. I could sit here like this for hours. You want to? I'd like to if you'd like to. Okay, let's... What, Mars? Have you heard anything about a dance to be held in the near future? No, is there a dance? Tomorrow night. Well, that's a near future, all right. You know, I sure wish I could dance better. Silly, you're a good dancer. No, I was bad enough before I went in the Navy. Then with those sailor pants. Too tight. But you've been out of uniform for months. Yeah, I'm out of practice. If you're out of practice, there's only one thing to do. I guess you're right, Mars. I'd better take one of those courses. You don't need a course. All you need is to dance. Why, if we... What? What are you waiting for? Some girls would beg you to take her to a dance. No. I'd never expect anything like that, not in a million years. Well, if you... What? Oh, never mind. Thought you were going to say something. I was, but now I'm not. What time is it? Oh, watch the 10.15. I may be a little slow. You certainly are. What? Oh, go on home. What, a few minutes ago you said... Go home, for goodness' sake. I never want to see you again in my whole life. God. Goodness' sake, Mars. If you're going to play that thing, play it. Don't just make a noise. I'm sorry. Well, you're going to play or not? No, I'm not. Why don't you light someplace, young lady? You've been running around like this all day. I'm sorry if I have annoyed you. I'll try to bear it in mind. I wonder what's eating her. Well, please keep your shirt on, will you? Hello, just a minute, please. Hunky, is it for me? No, my dear, it's for Leroy. Is he upstairs? Leroy? Who in the world cares where Leroy is? I don't know who, but he's on the telephone. Leroy! Leroy! Oh, thank you, Bertie. I'm sorry, but we... All right, Bertie, I'm sorry. Leroy isn't here. You'll have to call back later. Fred, man, look at anybody live in this house. Now, you see here, my dear, if the prospect of a simple dance at the country club puts you into this kind of a state, we'll reconsider it. Ha! What do you mean by ha? I'm not going to the dance, that's all. Not going, my dear, but why didn't you tell me? I wasn't sure, but it's too late now. Besides, what good would it do to tell anybody? I don't understand this, Marjorie. I thought you and Ben, after all, he was here last night. I know. I hinted all I could, but there are limits. I think I went a little past them. But he's so... Well, I don't know. Well, I like a boy that's not too forward. He's flashy, kid. Well, I like him too. But what good does that do now? You can call him, huh? I'd rather die. He can just sit home by himself all evening, just like I'll be doing. Maybe he'll call up. It's too late now. Anyway, I said a few things that might discourage him. Huh? You've got a temper, my dear. I don't know where it came from, but you've got a temper. You've got to learn to control it. Don't start lecturing me. Ha, ha, ha. Marjorie, would you like to go to the dance if you had an escort? Of course I would. I'd like to show Francie I'm not just a poor sap that's stuck with one slow poke of a boy. Well, I happen to know a certain chap, and he's no slow poke. Really? Who is it? A certain uncle, not a thousand miles from here. He, he, he, he, he, he. Huh? How about it? Well... Come on, my dear. By George, I feel younger than Ben right now. Oh, the girl of my dreams is the sweetest girl. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-dee. The president of our country has asked us to conserve food so that we can help hungry people in other parts of the world. So, homemakers, hold on to the leftovers. One of the cleverest ways to serve leftover vegetables or meat or seafood is in a rich golden cheese sauce. Made the easy way with Valvita. This cheese food with the rich yet mild cheddar flavor always melts smooth. Add such goodness and fine food values. As a matter of fact, when you glamorize leftovers with Valvita sauce, you're adding high quality, complete protein, precious milk minerals, food energy, riboflavin, and vitamin A. To make that rich tasting, nutritious cheese sauce, just melt one half pound of Valvita in the top of your double boiler. Then gradually stir in one third cup of milk. Like magic, you have sap and smooth cheese sauce. Perfectly delicious on leftovers and a wonderful help with main dishes during lunch. Tomorrow, look for Valvita at your food store. The name on the package tells you that you're getting a smooth melting cheese food of craft quality. Well, you ought to see the great gilder sleeves crowded into his tuxedo, muffled with a white silk scarf and crowned with a derby. He is a perfect picture of what the well-dressed man once wore. In his left hand, he clenches a pair of grey suede gloves. While with his right, he guides his knees between parked cars across the gravel driveway of the Summerfield Country Club. And is he married? Oh, the dancing we will go. The dancing we will go. I hope... Come on, my dear, sing. A little high for you. A little high for me. I hold a merry-oh, a dancing we... Marjorie, what's wrong? Why are you holding back? Oh, okay, I'm scared. I wish we hadn't come. Scared? Why, that's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, my dear. Why, you'd be the bell of the ball. What are you scared of? Well, I always get nervous when I go to dance. Ridiculous. Why, the boys will be falling all over themselves asking you to dance with them. And I can tell your old uncle's going to feel a little bit jealous, too. Come on, then. Oh, well, he's not just yet. Let's not go in a lot of ways. Let's just wait out here a little while. What for? Marjorie, honey, what's wrong? Oh, nothing, really. I want you to have a good time, my dear. You know that. Oh, I am. I'm enjoying it very much. So nice out here, the stars and everything. Yes, yes. Listen. The music. Wouldn't you like to go in now? Oh, not yet, not yet. It's not going yet. Very well. Marjorie, I'm going to tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was a little girl and her name was Cinderella. And Cinderella was very sad because she was afraid she wasn't pretty and she was afraid nobody liked her. She was afraid she wasn't going to get to go to the ball. She was afraid of everything. But along came her fairy godmother and waved her magic wand and all of a sudden, lo and behold, Cinderella was wearing a little white bunny jacket just like yours. And on her feet were little gold slippers just like yours. The slippers were glass. All right, they didn't have gold in those days. And then the fairy godmother waved her magic wand again. Only this time, she waved it over a pumpkin. And what do you think? It turned into a 1938 Studebaker just like mine. Yeah. And they climbed in and went to the ball and the kid had the time of her life. That's the way it's going to be with you, my dear. You're Cinderella, you see? Oh, Uncle, you're so nice. I guess you must be Prince Charming. Prince Charming? Oh, no. He's inside there waiting. Probably got a crew haircut and a pug nose. No, I guess I'm just your fairy goduncle. Or maybe I'm built more like the pumpkin. Come on, Cindy, let's go in, huh? Wonky, this is better. I don't know why you want to hide way back here, but it's your party. Sit down, my dear. Waiter, do me a favor, will you? Ask the band leader when they finish this piece if you'll play the sweetheart of Sigma Chi. Oh, come on. That's a wall. Well, a wall is my specialty. Then I do them all, of course. Charleston bunny hug anything. You name it, I'll do it, my dear. What do you say? Shall we take a crack at it? Well, not just yet, Uncle, if you don't mind. Let's just watch a while. Oh, my dear, we came here to dance. Come, come on, your feet. Come on. What's this? They're stopping. We just got here. Sweetheart of Sigma Chi, fellas. Play the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi. Uncle Morton, please. Everybody's looking at you. Please sit down. Pretty good crowd here tonight. Do you know any of these young people around here, my dear? A few. Why don't you speak to them? Invite them over to our table. Maybe some of them will dance with you. Which ones are they? Oh, no, Uncle, please. Why not? This is a party. We can't just sit here and moat. Cheer up, my dear. Smile. Look, I'll show you a little trick. You ever see this one? I put the water glass here, and the spoon here, and another spoon on the top of it, so. Now, the trick is to hit this spoon, make the other one jump into the glass. Here, watch. I'm watching. I didn't hit it hard enough. Good trick, though. Try again. Watch. Oh! Oh! I beg your pardon, ma'am. Uncle Moore, don't go after me. I miscalculated a little, I'm afraid. I was just trying to entertain my niece there. Hope you'll forgive me. Uncle Moore, don't be so conspicuous. Do sit down, please. That wasn't a bad shot this way. Uncle Moore. Yeah, I think the band's getting ready to play again. Yeah, they're gonna play the sweetheart of Sigma Chi now. Oh, I gotta dance for this. Pretty fair maiden? Which beat better measure with me on young dance floor? Oh, uh, he don't be corny. Who's being corny? I'm trying to give you a good time. Well, sit down, please. Don't take it all dressed up. I'll take you way out here, and all you do is tell me to sit down. Don't even wanna dance. What's the matter? Are you ashamed to be seen with me? No. Of course not. I just... Well, maybe I'll be like dancing a little later. Good. Well, why don't they go ahead and play? Uh, here it comes. That's not the sweetheart of Sigma Chi. I hate this song. Already, I hate it. The band spends all the time putting on funny hats. Unfounded, I'm a paid-up member in this club. I gotta write to request a number and have it played. Uncle Moore, let's dance. Huh? Please, let's dance quick. All of a sudden, now you wanna dance. What is this? Maybe I don't wanna dance now. Get out, please. Well, I can't dance to that thing. You don't have to, just pretend. What's funny? Hey, what's going on here? Ben just came in with Francie. Ben? Where? Never mind, don't look. That's me across the floor. I'll be the other side quick. Oh? Sorry, ma'am. Ben's with Francie, you say? I'll get you to do it, my best friend. No, Marjorie, I'm sure... Thanks, okay, I'll see you later. Wait, wait, where are you going? To the powder room. Marjorie, if you're going in there to hide, Marjorie, wait a minute. Now listen to me, you can't... Okay, Marjorie, you can't... Pardon me. I know. I had about half a dance with her since I brought her here. She was popular with the stag line. Ben, I wanna talk to you. Sit down. Oh, better not sit on that bench. Do on it. Too late now. You know, Ben, I don't know what happened yesterday between you and Marjorie, but... Neither do I. Huh? She just suddenly got sore at me. I made you think she was sore at you. You told me she never wanted to see me again as long as she lived. Is that all? Well, that's it, isn't it? Ben... Then I told her, well, that's the way she felt. What in the world made you think that that was the way she felt? Well, that's what she said. Oh, Ben, we're gonna have to start from the beginning with you. Well, that's the way it was. Then I ran into Francie later and she said, who did I go into the dance with? And I said, nobody, I guess. So then the first thing you know, I found I was going with Francie. Darn it. I guess I just don't understand, girl. Yeah, well, who does? But I can tell you one way to get along with him. What's that? Hey, no offense in anything they say. I take Francie. She wanted you to take her to the dance, didn't she? I guess so. It wasn't my idea. And where is she? Off with somebody else? In Marjorie? She said she never wanted to see you again. That's right. And where is she? In the powder room, crying her eyes out. Gee, do you think so? I know it, Ben. Now, why don't you go and wait for her to come out of there? And when she does, well, you're on your own. Well, what about Francie? I'll take care of Francie. I'll fix her wagon, if she ever turns up. You've got me, children. Enjoy yourselves. Just the same, I wish I'd brought somebody to enjoy myself with. Nobody will play sweetheart as Sigma Chi. Oh, pardon me. I thought this table... Mr. Kildesley. Well, hello. Hello, Francis. Don't you sit down? Oh, but I thought this table... I mean, it's so nice to see you, but where's Ben? Oh, Ben's around, I guess. No, isn't that awful? I turned my back for one minute and... Hi there! I turned my back for one minute and... As a matter of fact, I think Ben is dancing with Marjorie, or he was. Marjorie? Don't tell me Marjorie's here. I understood she wasn't going to be able to come. Oh, she came. I'm a seer. What did Marjorie come with? Me. Oh. Ben and I thought we'd swap girls for a couple of dances with your permission, of course. I hope you don't mind. Oh, not at all. No, that's fine. Well, hey, sit down. Yes, sir. Well, how have you been, Frances? Oh, fine, just fine. That's good. Motherwell, is she? Oh, yes, she's fine. That's good. You know you're here? Oh, yourself. I wonder you wouldn't give a girl a jingle sometimes. You seem to have a great many acquaintances here, Frances. Oh, you know, just boys. I know that's it. Is that chair uncomfortable? Oh, no. I just always hate to sit still, I guess. Oh. Would you like me to show you a little trick? Oh, I love tricks. Hi, Freddie, what's new? Frances, you're not watching. I do this trick with two spoons in a glass of water. You see, I place one spoon. They're playing it. What? The sweetheart of Sigma Chi. Oh, that old thing. Oh, it gets me every time. Hi, George. I'm not going to just sit here. Freddie, fair maiden. Would Steve Freda measure with me on yon dance floor? I beg your pardon? Would you like to dance? Oh, well, see, I'd love to, Mr. Kildersley, but honestly, I dance so much and I'm so out of breath and my feet are so tired. Oh, I see. Well, never mind. This just happens to be my favorite dance tune. That's all. Really? How can you like anything so slow? So slow. Gee, well, for goodness sakes. Hi. Hiya, Freddie. What do you say we show these ickeys how to break up this old chestnut? Well, the only thing is... I think the young man is inviting you to dance, Frances. Would you mind? No, no. Go ahead. Then. Oh, thanks. Oh, dear, you're giving me a lot of things. Uh, lemon kind. Or feet are tired. Nobody will play my tune when they play it. Nobody will dance with me. Well, I suppose I might get Ben to bring Marjorie home. Then I can... Ooh, dear Sue. What's this? Let's go. Let's join me at my table, won't you? I'm all alone here. I don't... I didn't see you. People come in. Oh, we just this minute or odd. We're terribly late, I'm afraid. I waited exactly one hour and one half while Lila dressed. Oh, now, Horace, don't stop that again, please. He's been crabbing all the way over here. I can only say, Lila, that if it took an hour and a half, it was time well spent. Well, thanks, Mr. Osmode. Now, why can't you say nice things like that, Horace? Lila, can you hear what they're playing? This is the way home. I'm Sue. Prissy, fair maiden. Would you better measure with me on Yann's dance floor? They're fair, sure, I would. And that rides lightly. Well, what's so funny? You'll pardon us, Judge, while we trip the light fantastically. Now, look here, Gelder Slave. I'm the one who brought her here. Oh, now, Horace, don't be an old spoiled boy. Here, have a glass of water, Judge. Enjoy yourself. Come on, Lila. On with the dance. Let joy be unrefined. Oh, Mr. Osmode, not so tight. Yeah. I love the walls. I like to close my eyes and just to let myself go and feel everything spinning around me. You're like a feather, Lila. Oh, and you lead beautifully. Your show's my destiny. I'll be clothed rock-mort, not to waltz with you all night. Lila, why shouldn't we waltz two lights together? Oh, why shouldn't we? Oh, nuts. Well, there's the answer. You can't gloss to that. You and your funny hats. Ladies and gentlemen, this past week, over a million and a half boys and girls who live on America's farms have been celebrating National 4-H Club Week. In farming communities everywhere, these 4-H club members have been making plans and putting special work behind their win-the-piece goals. One of the most important of these goals is to help produce more food for the war-torn world. We all know what a tremendous contribution 4-H clubs made to wartime food production. Now we want to congratulate these farm boys and girls on the way they're facing the challenge of today's big jobs. The people at Craft are acquainted with many, many of these boys and girls who are doing such fine work. To every 4-H club group, Craft wants to wish the very best of success in this splendid new program. Good night, everybody. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. Lee Roy and Marjorie and Birdie are played by Walter Tetley, Louise Erickson and Lillian Randolph. Leela Ransom is Shully Mitchell and Judge Hooker is Earl Waltz. This is John Lang speaking for the Craft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. We're into the Lenten season and that means more egg, fish and cheese dishes on many menus. So now's the time to call on the flavor magic of craft salad mustard. This tangy, golden craft salad mustard adds extra zest to cheese fondues and Welsh rabbits, peps up cream sauces for fish and hard-cooked eggs. It's so appetizing in so many ways you'll surely want craft salad mustard handy when you prepare Lenten meals. And to please sharp for taste, also buy a jar of craft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Get both kinds. They're both extra delicious. This is NBC, The National Br...