 Thank you for staying with us, happy Valentine's to you just in case you are joining us. My name is Stephanie Agheta and we are on to our first Valentine, you know, conversation of the day and with me here is Anthony Jenga who is not a new guest over here, in-house Kabisa and we want to talk about Valentine's for the singles because Valentine's are always on couples and what not, what about the people that are single, what is happening in their life, what about the people that are broken, what about the widows and widowers, so we want to get that and also just a feel about Valentine generally, what is your take on this issue. Talk to us on our social media at Y244 using the hashtag why in the morning at Stephanie Agheta is my personal hand. I am happy to have you, I can see you are representing. Even the last time you were at the show you were preparing for Valentine's Day. I know it's a Valentine's Day but I am also here for the people who probably have lost their loved ones because Valentine's is not only for couples or for people in a relationship, I feel like Valentine's we should normalize it to be like a day, like I kill them to when you want to spend a bit your mom, your dad, your guardian, somebody you love, maybe your cousin, your friend, you know. It's not only for couples, yes I know we have to mess with your Valentine's Day for couples, people who are in a relationship, spouses or people who are married and stuff like that but I feel like Valentine's Day is like, we should normalize this day like any other day you know I say you only live once but I feel like you don't live once, you live every day, you only die once so each and every day that you live make sure you make an effort and show love to your loved one not only your spouse or your partner but let it be somebody maybe in your family it's a day to actually go get a flower, get chocolates, get something nice if your mom is present, if your dad is present, if your relative is present get a flower, show them love so I feel like Valentine's Day should be a day for love for anyone, not only spouses a day for love for everyone just show your love just show love I don't want this Valentine's Day unless I'm a gift to the man Valentine's Day is a day for love but you know it's good for the ladies I don't know if it's for couples, I don't know if it's for couples I don't know if it's for your love, I don't know if it's for couples I don't know if it's for boyfriend that is not your love language I'm just saying it's good for you I'm not sure if it's for couples, I don't know if it's for love I don't know if it's for couples, I don't know if it's for couples I don't know if it's for couples I don't know if it's for couples okay you have said it let me go back to now you say Valentine's Day is also for those who have lost people and the people that are going through things just speak a little about this we want to speak on each person through something during Valentine's so there's that person who has lost their maybe their lover or their husband or their wife you know what should they do how should they be handled who should you know okay now if maybe you're watching and you've lost your loved one you've lost your husband you've lost your girlfriend your spouse your wife or somebody you love basically you know this I know this day will bring a lot of anxiety most people will be so anxious most people will be depressed actually today funny thing is that the people who will be depressed and the people will be happy you know and just like the way mother's day father's day is normally that when mother's day kifika father's day kifika people are all over posting their mothers and fathers but you need to remember there's somebody somebody who lost their loved one so in this this time of Valentine's if you're watching me and you probably have lost your wife your girlfriend your boyfriend your husband you know your loved one I would like to tell you that you know take heart you know spoil yourself at least take maybe show love to maybe a friend if you feel like going on a solo date is too much for you go get a friend somebody when you know there's a show love to them it doesn't matter the gender it doesn't matter maybe when it's your love to a male friend it's bad no it's not bad if you've lost your wife and your your man go show love to your male friend or any other friend you know don't don't feel too much pressure then anxious and depressed by the fact that maybe you don't have someone this time you will get someone eventually but you know you need to understand that this season enough I appreciate that your present and there is that loss loss and grief deal with it fully so that you can be able to get into another relationship don't don't get don't get in a to a last minute date the people will do that don't do that today maybe those who have lost their love don't what I feel your pressure make what too much because maybe people will be posting all over social media you know when they come to town they see flowers everywhere and it will be a trigger because today actually is a big trigger to most people who have lost their loved ones not only their lovers but even they are the loved ones maybe in their family will trigger them because now they feel like now this is a trigger this is a reminder for this reminding me exactly I lost somebody I loved somebody we shared with but it will trigger them a lot but I want to talk to you right now and tell you that don't give yourself too much pressure don't get a last minute date that you just get a lady or a man and just take them out somewhere no take your time he'll fast before you now decide on getting into another relationship okay yes all right and I believe if you know someone like that you can also share love with them buy them a flower chocolate just to be know that yes you can't exactly what about the single people when you are well you're too like you know and they were all prepared for Valentine's you know ladies we you know to know where I had for Valentine's or someone I don't expect you to but you definitely expect something and you're looking forward to it so there's that person that is single now you know maybe not out not by choice and it's Valentine and they're feeling had broken so what happens first thing first you need stuff let me tell them that they need to appreciate and be grateful even for those who lost their loved one they need to appreciate and be grateful for the fact that they are there you know I usually say and I'm one advocate of saying that it is rather you remain single than you be in a relationship where you're not happy where it is chaotic you know you're getting too much pressure too much you know there's too much up or now maybe you're from a heartbreak and most people right now probably will get rebounds which is so bad you know but maybe you had broken a few months ago maybe last week maybe last weekend and the Valentine's in it Tuesday now funny thing is that if now had broken on on the weekend and today's Valentine's most of the time if it is a lady who was had broken by the man on on the weekend last weekend funny thing is that maybe this time at a one day lady will have too much pressure not to give up on a rebound and as I could be here no no ladies ladies do this they wouldn't nail a net one drunk drunk calling they will get like maybe yeah when the mall you take maybe some few cocktails and stuff as you are she can has a once I could be here with the process on a pattern it brings up a lot of emotions and in the process on a pattern you bequeath reasons you did not want that the following morning on the on 15th case just so you call a regret why did this have to happen and people for yet this the 15th now there's a 15 there's life after Valentine's exactly and I say okay and I'm a So, if you're probably watching and you've been hurt broken and maybe last month, maybe you've been single for the past maybe one month, one year, two years, take time. Social media is here, yes. Don't allow social media to give you too much pressure to be in a relationship. You need to understand that your peace of mind, your mental stability, your happiness always comes first. If you don't take care of that now, trust you may even the next relationship, you won't be in a good state. You know, maybe you're dealing with your healing from a partner who was narcissistic. You're healing from a partner who used to cheat on you, you know. Take time and heal first. I'm one advocate of saying, do not trust yourself. Take time. It doesn't matter how long you're going to take to heal, but don't give yourself too much pressure if you're maybe watching me and you're single. It is rather you be single than being in a relationship where you're not finding peace. It is chaotic, you know, exactly. Okay. Now, do you think that most, I think you've alluded to this, that many people who are single will have the pressure now to get into relationships or get on dates because it's Valentine's Day that they need to post something. Exactly. I think these guys are willing to take them out. So, should they budge to the pressure? You know, it's a kind of perception that we tend to be out for Valentine's Day and then we'll break up in like a month or something. Now, that is bad. Now, you come to me, you come to me. You're the last bit of sentiment to me. You say you're going to be Valentine's Day and then you break up. You know you're going to break up very soon even after Valentine's Day. Now, if you feel like that is the case, then don't even celebrate it in the first place because you're not happy, because you have to be happy. In order for Valentine's Day to be a Valentine's Day because Valentine's Day is a day of love. In order for you to have or to find love, you need to be happy. You need to be happy with yourself. You need to be happy with everything how it's going. If you're not happy, then I don't think it's fitting for you. And maybe you're in the social media palace. You know, Brian has a similar story. Natali Tewa was the one who posted it. That's why I'm using it. So, if you're under too much pressure, maybe it's time for you to go to Instagram. I'm very sure today, Celebrity Couples. I'm going to be with Jesus. It's that time. Sorry to mention your names, but today is the day they're going to show their loved ones. You know what I'm talking about? They buy cars. Exactly. It was titled Deeds. iPhone 14 Pro Max. But now, if you're watching and you're like, why do you ask me why, maybe people will say, why would you never get to this state? But don't fall into the social media pressure or the society's pressure. Maybe you're in the middle of any day. Maybe you do everything in your power to do it. Maybe you're in the middle of anything. You're not alone, you're not alone. You're not alone. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. There's no pressure from the society, from the parents, from the social media, but don't give yourself too much pressure. Be at peace with yourself. accept the situation in the state you are in one thing I usually say, nothing is permanent every challenge, every issue every situation has got a solution nothing is permanent, even life itself is not permanent so even that face you're in because it's a single face so you out act in that state for long but you need to understand, even though you're not going to be single for long or forever you need to understand that you need to take care of yourself take yourself on solo dates come on, you've never gone for yoga today is the day you end up having a massage you need to treat yourself and when you come to the campsite there's no pressure there's no pressure, I'm getting ideas you know, see you're getting ideas so, Stefanie is trying to pass a message she's media Stefanie Ayeta she's passing a message look at her she's looking at you I'm seeing you so now there's something that we've said that Valentine's should be about happiness and love especially if you're a couple that should be it but do you think that's the case right now people are all for the pressure and the expectation that is out there and you go for a Valentine's even if it's you with your guy but it's not for the love can I make something clear most people get it wrong it's not a must you post your partner today I'm one believer of it's better you remain it remains private but not a secret so you cannot get into that explain what's private what's private but as much as you're not going to post make sure at least you're telling people you have someone that's a manipulation tactic which is so toxic so it's not a must you post your partner I know people who are being in marriage for more than 10 years and you can never you know them have you ever seen his kids he has a family he has a whole big family but out of that you're not going to post you're going to be proud of the same but understand the power of privacy privacy is good, not secrecy don't keep your relationship a secret but keep it private that's good had you post love by the way and maybe sorry to cut you short maybe to add this today is the day most people will spend most men will spend too much money on Valentine's Day but maybe somebody is watching me and I'm watching you in a situation which is not good, maybe financially because you know you have such kind of people as much as yesterday people who are going to spend on their loved ones but now there are people who are watching and probably the situation here is financially maybe they lost their job recently now I want to try maybe you're already in line maybe you're watching me right now and you feel like you need to spoil your partner take your partner maybe you feel like your partner is the most expensive restaurant or the most expensive meal at least you don't have to spend too much but let me tell you something come on you cannot be able to have that finances to cater for all that just take your time over to Leah the simple dates you can talk it doesn't matter when the restaurant is expensive to show that you love them you need to understand your partner's love languages there are five love languages do you know them? the first one is acts of service the second one is gifts and surprises the third one is words of affirmation the fourth one is quality time do you understand? I think it's touch or something physical touch so you need to understand your partner's love languages come on Leah there are two types words of affirmation remind them and tell them keep on telling them how much you love them come on you know acts of service come on you know what I mean you need to have breakfast lunch and supper I will do the most I will wash your clothes act like a man today is the day to understand your partner more you need to understand your partner's love languages touch or something you need to understand your partner's love languages you need to understand your partner's love languages give him a gift and he will give you some of it so you can say I am too a quality time now you don't give me quality time but you give me flowers get me back to the question do you think social media even love languages but you want it just to post it so that people can see it that is not good social media if you think about it what people are doing it's not a must to fall into the pressure yes you are not a flower person but you want the flowers just to post but it's not that you feel nice but just to post you need to understand that today is a day for happiness but not today only every single day is a Valentine's Day meaning every single day is a chance to show your partner your loved one that you actually do love them not only on 14 today is the only day you are doing the most then from tomorrow onwards pressure no it is not really poor maybe come on a field your partner to take you out on the most expensive date just to post it trust you that is not a sign of happiness you are not happy in that relationship you are just doing it for the sake of pressure but in short wherever you are happy so you need to do an introspection and know what really makes you happy not for the social media but just make it a thing an intimate thing between you and family you and whoever it is but I have a problem Anthony the people who say Valentine's is everyday and everyday affair because most people use that as a scapegoat who could rock a Valentine's yet these other days there is nothing special that you do that makes it Valentine it makes sense when someone shows you acts of service gifting all that love language on any other day and then Valentine's day is no special than these other days but for someone who is just in that relation Valentine gives you that opportunity to show that love that maybe you can't on and everyday when you talk about when I say Valentine's day is an everyday thing it should not be only on 14 I mean that you need to show your partner give your partner peace, understand your partner if it's your man you know your man needs respect and peace, give your man peace every single day Valentine's day is a thing for every single day but don't use it as a scapegoat you do the most just to manipulate mostly it happens with a narcissist narcissistic partners there is a thing about narcissists that Steph you need to understand these people are manipulators they can manipulate you in short, they can argue but they can't be a gift love is a form of love love bombing is a form of love disorder okay tell us about that love bombing is someone who has issues, someone who is trying to do the most they can't be a gift and now they are spoiled spoiled they don't know how much they can't be a gift they can't be a gift and most ladies fall victims of such kind of people those narcissists you feel that love being given money is a form of love it's a form of love it's a form of love it's a form of love it's a form of love it's the most expensive form it's a form of love how do you, what is love Steph? let's start from there, let's define love we have misused the term I love you I love you I love you love is love love is love but you cannot just say I love you to just anyone love needs to be deep, intense feeling towards someone and it's not pegged on exactly not what they can give you not what they can offer not what they can give you it should be real don't do it just because you feel it's a form of love it's a form of love what happens? you love someone based on what they provide but you should love someone based on it should be real from within you, from your heart I love you I should actually mean it not I tell you I love you I love you but you will not fall in love with me you will fall in love with what I give you so the meaning that those stop love goes with them yes there are partners and actually I have a show on YouTube which is a very controversial topic and it's a topic of men should not give women or their girlfriends money wow that's a very controversial one why? yes you should not give your girlfriend but why? because you might give them money and they will fall in love with that but they will not fall in love with you no baby months into the relationship or weeks into the relationship is the money a love language? it's gifted exactly but not money when I say money I mean there are 50,000 girlfriends there are 50,000 come up take this quote no no no I will give you 50,000 just go trust you this lady will not fall in love with the genuine you trust me I will give you more than that you're done I will do that topic we will wait for that and you will take you back so now for the single people out there and they have prospects people that have been catering them and now they're using Valentine as a litmus paper it's a test what do you think about it if this guy doesn't take me out of Valentine then probably he's not the one because maybe you've been seeing different people in the dating zone so you use that as a litmus paper you need to learn someone first you need to know someone just because they're not taking you in dates the first few days or weeks or months that you've known them but specifically Valentine Valentine is out but he's been out for a period for how long I don't know you speak on the different periods but let me tell you he's been out for a while and this is Valentine and he's been out and Kimbia and he likes to speak your Language so Kimbia what challenge do you have today is the day to ask your partner who wants to speak my Language Do as per my Love Language Wow, good challenge Do as per my Love Language Do as per my Love Language so you say to him who wants to use it So it's a challenge to the couple that are there. So it's a challenge to the couple that are there. If you really know my love language, then do aspire it. If physical touch is my love language, do aspire it. If quality time is my love language, do aspire it. If surprises, all those love languages, do aspire it. Do you get it? Is this person really serious in doing this? Or is it just a joke? Because it's not a joke. And the funny thing is that research is showing right now for a fact that most men are single. Most men are single? Yes. To a research from, I think from 2020. That research has been there to 2023. Most men are single. People are single, like genuinely single. So she done again? What could be the problem with your mind? I think ladies are giving men too much pressure. I'm not giving you too much pressure. It could mean bias, so pressure is there for women. Because now let's hope that we have a good relationship and you are being spoiled more. Now this is another one with me. Maybe me, I'm capable. Pressure is getting worse. Pressure is getting worse. Back to my question, Anthony. So if the single person is someone who's been catering them for a long time and they don't take them on Valentine's then that's a question. If they don't take them today out, then they should question that. And then what about when you do, maybe a week or two or three, let's say a month, and you are on Valentine's today, they have not been asked yet. It's any other day yet you've been thinking. You need to understand that you need to invest. I'm one believer of investing in your loved one. Both gender, not only the man but even the woman. Invest in your partner. You need to know your man's love language. Okay, so it goes both ways. But now in this context, you're single, not really. So as a lady, how are you making that move? Does it make sense? But now let me ask you this. I'll let me tell you this. Are you seeing the video where you trend the juicy, this lady who, is it? This lady who was trending on Instagram proposed on the man which is not good. I don't advocate for a woman proposing on a man. I don't. A man should be an alpha male. You should take that charge. You're the Adam. When do you're Adam? You need to be a man. You need to be in charge. Propose. You're wasting time. You're wasting your time. A lady comes to propose for me. You're queue with timing. Unless you want to ring a needle on her behalf. What do you mean by a ring? A woman. For the ladies who are watching me, please don't make a mistake on proposing on a man. They will manipulate you. A man's ego is so high than a woman. That's why the ladies who are taking for granted don't make a mistake on me. Because it's a direct ticket to me. It's a direct ticket to me. So I can do whatever I want with you. If I want to manipulate you in doing whatever I want, I will do that. So the moment a lady kneels down, proposes to a man and tells the man, will you marry me? Cut your story. Please for the man. You do it again. I will not even accept that chance to happen. For the men, please. You need to be firm. You need to be an alpha male. Even psychologically speaking, when I say about the ego, a man should take charge. Be the man in that relationship. Be the alpha male. Not just a man but the alpha male. So the only point you're excusing is love language. If you're dating, the lady should know your love language. Relationship is a two way thing. The man should actually do the most if the man is serious. Yes, I agree. But also the lady, what are you doing to spice up that relationship? Back to another thing that you said. If you don't have money, you don't have money, do the little that you can. But don't you think that maybe instead of seeing it as pressure, you would see it as sacrifice? Because it's only once a year. So you have a good restaurant but you have something and you can take your lady out for a good dinner. You sacrifice that. What is a good dinner Steph? A good restaurant. All restaurants are good. An expensive one. An expensive affordable one. Though it's a little bit poor, just so that they feel a different atmosphere. Because it's a different feeling. But now I want you to look at the situation of a man who is doing Jengu and an ancillary of 600 per day. How will that happen? I'll let you on Tuesday. Mind you today is not a weekend. Today is not a weekend. You can see the buildings in Jengu. You'll get people there working. People are in the offices by the way. But that's why I'm calling it sacrifice. Because it's something that pains you, but you want to do it because you love this person. Yes, you can do the most. You can sacrifice but you need to be wise. You need to be wise. Don't go beyond what you can afford. You can't afford. For the men, please let me talk to the men. Don't make don't be How will I put it? Anyway, you can do the spices. Maybe you can approach them. Maybe you can go to the gym and maybe you'll meet someone today. You'll be single. Be real with the same. You can't do it. You need to have money. You need to have money. You need to have money. You need to have money. You need to have money. Be real. You never know. I'm one advocate of being genuine. Trust me. Trust me. If I want this, I'll tell you. If I don't want this, I will tell you. Even the ladies I meet and I date come any sex. Come any relationship. I'll tell you. I want to spend the lifetime with you. Be real. You never know. I'll tell you. You need to have money. Be real with yourself. Be real with yourself. You need to have a lot of pressure. I don't have to try to be with ladies. I don't have money. You need to have a lot of pressure. I don't have money. You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not saying It's true. I'm just saying, it's for ladies. Yeah, it's just a bite away anyway. Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, so, what does Ejipayi pressure stuff? Why is she according to their standards? Don't go beyond trying to prove a point. So do you think that there's unrealistic expectation for Valentines? Yes. People expect... Funny things. The world, the moon to come down. No. Realistic. Relationship is not like going to mass. You want to find it unrealistic. Where's the answer to that? If you're having pressure to go to Valentines' house and you're sitting in a bed seat. Like, you need to be realistic. Because that's what I'm saying. You're not a person. You're being a person and it's like you're intimidating this man. You're not intimidating him. I don't... She's saying it's not... She's saying I'm biased for a lady to... I don't want to be the man that's moral to work and become better. But I'm saying don't be realistic. If you see your man at a full level, you will understand your level. If you want to go to a restaurant around Nairobi and you want to see Porsche, but at least you're going to be Mahalina A. You're spending time. Do that. And if you can afford, why not? Why not? And what about creating the sensation around Valentines? Or is it just hypocrisy? What do you think about the sensation that we create around Valentines? What sensation? Love. You know, love. You know, you're... Everything love you. So, some people in Aka are made up. So, do you think it's hypocrisy or money? It's legit. Like, it's real. I think it's hypocrisy. Because you need to be real with yourself first. You know, before being real with someone, you need to understand you need to be real with yourself. You need to be genuine with yourself before you can be real with someone else. You need to be genuine with yourself. Then I don't think it's real. Because you need to have too much pressure. You need to be genuine with yourself. You need to be genuine with yourself. You need to be genuine with yourself. This is not your standard. Okay. Now, what about... Some people think that... And I think it's true, really, that for men, it depends on their personality. It's romantic. So, it's like... It depends on... You had to say that. Because for Valentine's expectation, it's also that you be romantic. Open that door for me when I enter. In Inini, Barbie flowers. That's the culture that has been created around Valentine's at least. But are there personalities that are not just... Naturally, you need to be romantic. What I can say, Stefa, yes, we have different personalities. We are different. We are not the same. Definitely. But when I say to myself, you need to invest on your partner. You need to invest on your relationship. And I say invest. You need to invest. Financially, emotionally, mentally, physically, you need to invest. Don't just say, yes, you need to invest. Maybe you will feel romantic. You will say, ah, I am the same. I am the same. Ah, ah, ah. You are serious. You are the same. You need to invest on your partner. If you really want this to work, you need to invest on that. And they were saying, this person, you should let your partner express love in a way that's not only pleasing to you, but is also authentic to them. You're not as much as, you know, you're pleasing them, but it's also authentic. What do you think about that? It makes sense. It's true. But it's true. For that, I can agree. So how do you make that work? Maybe you are not a person. How it can work is now. If this works for me, if you are an understanding partner, if you are in a mature relationship, you need to understand that, if this works for me, we can try to make it out even for you. You know, if I say my relationship is a two-way thing, it's not a one-sided thing. Yes, as much as I want to invest on my partner, I know I need to understand that I'm not investing in that beyond what I can afford. The funny thing is that the relationship I'm in actually, there are things I'm doing with my wife before. But I have tried my best. But as much as I'm trying my best, I end up over and beyond what I'm doing with my wife, it's not easy to see what I'm doing. Because we know we are different at the end of the day. So as much as you're going to invest on your relationship with your partner, you need to understand that it should work for you first. Like, talk to your partner, get to understand if it can work, at least. Come on. Maybe you can afford a restaurant, an expensive or a posh restaurant. Talk to them one day if maybe they can take you to a chicken inn, eat something, pizza in, eat something you don't go to. You know, just as a chicken inn, you can buy a two-pizza for like 400 POP. At least. At least to mejaribu. You have not done a lot, but it's at least. So yes, you invest, but you need to also invest within your limits. Invest within your limits. Exactly. All right. Now, do you think that women, ladies, should tell their expectation to their partner? Because women have no expectation. Probably I'm expecting. Though you, if there's a challenge, tell your partner, let them know, you know, find out if they know their love language. But do you think it's also okay for a woman to let their partner know what they expect from them during violent times so that they at least talk a story about unmet aspect. Yes, yes. You can tell them, but you can tell them in advance. Maybe before, at least, you know, I expect this and that. If you open your mind, maybe this can work for me and this cannot work for me. At least, you have a mutual understanding towards what you expect. But having too much expectations is not good at the same time. But communicating your expectation, is it not ruining it? Because it depends. It will ruin it best maybe come and partner, your partner is not understanding or you're not in amkosawa. Maybe you have a challenge and maybe on a track, we imagine, right now, you have to realize and maybe it will be a challenge before, like you're giving me expectation and we had like an issue before and took a deal. So maybe it's not like ruining it. I advocate, tell your partner what you expect. And if you think about it, you know, it's like a Valentine's Day, but you have to know how to do it. You have to say, 14th. Ah, I don't know, I don't have an iPhone. See, it's like a cobweb screen. You know cobweb screen? I don't know. Hey, I'm going to say, 14th. I will tell my partner I want an iPhone, 14th, promise. I said, I'm going to say, I don't have an iPhone. But I'm going to say, hey babe, happy Valentine's Day. Thank you for being with me, with me, with me, with me. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I can get an iPhone. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm going to say, I don't have an iPhone. But see, the right atmosphere to advocate. Yeah. But I believe you should communicate in advance. If it is expectations, have these conversations before. For the man, you need to be aware of the things that ladies mention. So maybe you're going to say, because I'm directly, but you ladies, you know, I'm going to say, I have an iPhone. But she doesn't have one. I will say, she's going to say, I'm going to say, I don't have an iPhone. But look at my baby. I'm going to say, Hey, you're going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I'm going to say, at least, work on it. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the man. You need to be aware of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. You need to be aware of the things your partner says. You need to be aware of the things your partner says. You need to be aware of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. I have a gift for you, the woman will be surprised of the things your partner says. That is hypocrisy, you need to be genuine in yourself. If you have to buy a car for yourself, don't buy it and thank your man for buying it for you. Just buy it and thank you. This award, first of all I want to thank me. Because you are the first person. As much as you have won this award, the energy, the mentality and work on the same. As much as you are going to give yourself this valentines because maybe you are single, you should thank your boyfriend for buying it for you. You are the first person to buy it. Because your boyfriend is not a fan of you. That is not an alpha male. Oh, he is not a fan of you. He is not a fan of you. He is not a fan of you. What do you want to say to the singles as we close it here? Let me talk to the singles. If you are watching me right now and you are probably not in a relationship, you are a man, you are a woman, a boyfriend, a girlfriend to someone, you are to someone before probably. And maybe yesterday, last weekend, last year, maybe you have been single for the past five years. And this is valentines day. And you feel like each and every year on valentines day you are single. Don't give yourself too much pressure. You need to understand, you need to take care of three things. Take care of your happiness. Take care of your peace of mind. Take care of your mental stability. Don't give yourself too much pressure if you are single. This is the day to do the most that you have. Go get a massage. Go for a drive. Go to the village market. Do bowling. Do golfing. Do golfing at least for today. And if you are watching me right now and you are probably lost someone, maybe you are not single by choice, but you are single by circumstance. Maybe you lost someone, you lost a loved one, you lost a spouse, you lost a boyfriend, you lost a girlfriend. It is difficult for you. You are maybe feeling anxious, you are feeling sad about this day, about this valentines day. Let me tell you that if you feel the same, please get help. Talk to someone, they can help you on the same. If you have never dealt fully with the loss of your loved one, you can get professional support from a therapist or a psychologist. If you don't know someone and a hospitally, at least a doctor or a co-locator therapist, at least because they could deal with that loss and grief. Loss is not easy. Loss is not easy to handle because there are stages. You have to go through the denial, the anger, the bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is all that phase. I know it is not easy. It may be a challenge. But let me tell you, don't lose hope. Take care of yourself. Stay on track. Sooner or later you are going to find somebody who will replace that person. Maybe it will not be soon, but sooner or later, it doesn't matter whether it will be today, tomorrow, or whichever day, or whichever year or month, but sooner or later you are going to heal fully, sooner maybe recover from the loss and you are going to be ready to be in a relationship. And nothing is permanent. Remember, nothing is permanent. No challenge, no issue is permanent. Everything has got a solution. So your day will come for you to enjoy this Valentine's Day. You never know maybe next year it will be your time to enjoy this Valentine's Day with your partner in a happy state. You need to understand that right now, in the later time it could depend on. Love yourself, take care of yourself, build your career, do the things you can do for yourself for now. Maybe you did not do the same with your relationship, but this is the time to take care of you. Wow. Yes. The time to take care of you. Exactly. Good way to close it. And my take home is, Valentine's is for love. So anyone, family, love, self-love, it's not just for couples. If you cannot afford a flower, your town, maybe the expensive, or maybe come out there, or here, or in town or in town. I have flowers in my garden. You can pluck a flower somewhere. Something nice, maybe a sunflower. But it will feel special, you know, the people who have never gotten a flower. Even that flower. At least it's coming from a place of love. Yes, at least it's coming from a place of love. Exactly. So if you cannot afford that expensive flower, get something nice. Okay. Like a simple flower from maybe a garden or somewhere. Tell someone. If you have a lot of friends, maybe you have a lot of excuses. Your loved ones, how I have a lot of friends now, those are your loved ones, because you work with them. You definitely love them. Those are your friends. So at least, surprise, the flower will be here. You know what? Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. With a flower, at least. Make someone smile today. Make someone smile, with the money, with the gift. With the money? Yes. I don't know what to say. Actually, I don't know what to say. Anyway, take care of yourself, maybe you're single. Take care of yourself. If you're single, just tell me. I'll enjoy it. Don't limit yourself. Do what you can do to enjoy this day. I hope you've plucked that flower that you're taking to someone. Yes, yes, I won't pluck it. I'm going to take it. Okay. Ah! Amazing. Bye, something. All right. I'm just trying to say that you're not single. I can give you a social media handle. Sorry, you're a coward. Anyway. Give you a social media handle where people can get you. You can get me on Instagram, at official Anthony Njenga, official ANTH, O-N-Y-N-J-E-N-G-A, official Anthony Njenga on Instagram, official Anthony Njenga on TikTok, Anthony Njenga on Facebook. And maybe if you're watching me and you're dealing with loss and grief, you've lost your partner, your spouse, and you're finding it a challenge to deal with it or you're feeling anxious today or this month of Valentine's, please talk to me. My number as usual is 0725 029398. I repeat, 0725 029398. Okay, thank you very much Anthony for coming on board and taking time off your Valentine's. You know, I'm very special. Yes, I'm very special. I'm very special. I'm very special. I'm very special. At least today I'll be some. You're going to be representing with your Valentine's. Yes, yes, yes. I'm very special. This is the only red I have. It's something. Yes, and blood, you know. Alright, thank you very much. Anthony, this has been Anthony Njenga, who's a counselling psychologist and mental health advocate talking to us about Valentine's for single having a good conversation around it. Talk to us on our social media handles at 254 channel music by hashtag why in the morning we have asked you a question on social media and we want your engagement. My personal handle is at Stephanie Ayeta. We take a short break and then Brand Sacoa will be back with yet another interesting conversation.