 Well, we got an awesome speaker coming up. A good friend of mine, James Marshall. He runs the only world's traveling 10-day boot camp through Europe. And I've seen some pictures from this event. And it's pretty sick. Also, he is the founder and CEO of the Natural Lifestyles. He's all the way here from Australia. He spoke at this event before, second time, I believe. And he's talking today about multiple relationships. And is there anyone here who is not interested in that subject? One guy. Awesome. Cool. For now, exactly. So let's give James a hand to welcome him. Good afternoon, gentlemen. Now, my name is James Marshall. I'm the founder of the Natural Lifestyles. We have been teaching natural games since 2006, well before it was in fashion. And we're still pretty damn good at it. I've just come off the back of about three weeks of non-stop coaching through Europe with my team and the one and only Sasha D. Yeim. And what we do is we run this 10-day traveling workshop through Eastern Europe. And on this trip, the students tend to get laid, which is part of the point of it. They don't usually do it on the first night. But something interesting happened on the first night on this tour. We had a guy who was of Oriental descent. Mid-30s had, well, I'll tell you a little bit about him. When he was 19, he met a lovely girl next to him at his university course studying medical science. They started dating. And for five beautiful years, they didn't have sex. After five years, they had sex. And then they got married, had two children, started a very successful medical practice together, and lived happily ever after until she cheated on him, took the business, took the kids, and kicked him out on the street, which is where he found himself with us on the Euro tour. Now, on the first night, he met this awesome girl. Actually, it was during the day. He was doing one of Sasha's wind-ups. And is it all right if I let them know the wind-up, Sasha? You sure? You're taking a percent, though, right? Awesome. Well, you go up to a girl and you say, look, I don't want to be weird or anything, but... And that goes on for quite some time. That's credit to Sasha Dagen. And this girl cracked up. She loved it. They decided to go on a date that night. They went for a picnic along the river in Prague, very romantic city, eating strawberries and cream. And as the night wore on, they got a little bit closer. And fingertips started touching. And, well, there's a lot of tension in the air. And one thing led to another. And at the end of the night, she got in a cabin and gave him a look. And he said, well, I guess you'll be heading home, madam. And she went home. And then she texted him saying, I kind of wish you'd come with me. And so he wrote back saying, shall I? And then she wrote back saying, you shall. And he went to a place they had a glorious night of love making on the first night of the tour, which was awesome. This was the second girl that this guy had ever had sex with. So the next morning, we're all debriefing, giving him props for that and everything. And he says, look, guys, I just should let you know that I'm happy to come for the rest of the tour. And I'll do the exercises. But I'm pretty much done now. And there's just silence amongst the group. And I see Sasha about to leap up and go, what the fuck are you talking about, you fucking pussy? And I place my hand on his inner thigh. And I go, just hold it, Sasha. And I'm like, OK, so why is that? He's like, well, I've found the one. We all bite our teeth. And I say, OK, cool. For today, you found the one. Just do whatever you want. You're going to see it tonight, right? Yeah, of course. So that night, he takes a big bunch of flowers to her conceptual dance class, rocks up and gives them to her. And she stands there awkwardly and takes the flowers in front of all their friends. And then afterwards, they go and spend another night together and she decides she's got a headache and doesn't want to have sex with him. And the next day, she writes a message that ends with the words, take care. Now, if you ever receive a text message from a girl that finishes with take care, that means farewell forever. And it's a good one to use when you've decided that you don't want to see a girl again. Yeah, that was heaps of fun. Take care. She'll get the message. Eight days later, we're in Belgrade in Serbia. The same guy is getting ready to go on a date with some smoking hot Serbian girl. And I said, hang on. Michael, should you really be going in this date considering you found the one, right? So he's like, look, I've got a go, man, all right? So he got the point. Now, the reason I bring this story up is because what I want to talk to you guys about today are some different models of relationships, some different relationship paradigms that you may want to experiment with during the course of your seduction career. Most men follow this cycle, inactive single, which means you're single and you're not getting laid. That one sucks. Who's been there before? Keep your hand up if you're still there. It's fine. This is the only one that you must get out of and never return to. But most men do that, and then they go to monogamous relationship with pretty much the first girl that will let them take their underpants off. And then some years later, hopefully not 10 years plus children plus divorce plus alimony later, they break up, they go back to inactive single, and this depressing cycle continues. I teach seduction for life. I am so bored and sick of teaching people how to walk up and stare at girls and stop them and go, hello, I look like Vigo Mortisson. It's boring. I've had enough. So what I want to teach you guys about is something more advanced. And when you get into this, at first what you're doing is you're practicing approaching. Now that's a really dangerous thing to do. Never go out and practice approaching. I was talking to one of Sasha's interns last night, and he's saying, yeah, I feel like I've reached a plateau because I'm going out. I'm doing all these approaches, and then it's not going anywhere. And I said, that's because you're going out to practice approaching, not to go out and seduce. Look always towards the end game. It doesn't really matter if you don't think you have the skills to get there, because you do. You innately have the skills to get an erection and place it somewhere wet and tight. Yep. So all the details you can figure out along the way. Yes, of course, over time your skill set will become more subtle and crafted and wonderful and flower and so on. But in the meantime, open, close. Keep that in your head at all times. But look well beyond that. What are you actually trying to do here in terms of a lifestyle that you're trying to build? What kind of stories do you want to live? What kind of women do you want to bring into your life? And in what capacity? And that's what I want to talk to you guys about is having some choice and some direction in that. Does that sound good? Only for you? Just me and him, we'll just have a little chat. I know you're British, but come on, you can say something, say, oh, jolly good. All right, fair enough. So the five stages that I see as being functional and healthy in terms of going through relationship cycles. And there's, of course, many variations. I'm not here to say that you cannot have, you know, relationships with an inanimate object because some people do. But what I think is good to go through is inactive single. Get that shit out of the way and never return to it ever again. Active single. And this is where you are single by choice. You don't have a long-term girlfriend. You're out there meeting a bunch of girls, testing yourself, finding out what you like, learning about yourself in relation to women, and hopefully getting laid once in a while, right? And that's where most guys are probably at at this point. But from there, are we gonna just go inactive single, active single monogamous happily ever after? Highly unlikely. You need to understand that you will be going through cycles of relationships in your life. And if you do it skillfully, then it means that each stage of relationship that you shift through will be positive. Not only for you, but for the woman or women that you're involved with. If you stay in once part of the cycle far too long, then you'll end up hating each other. Who's been in a long-term relationship for about 40 to 50% more time than they should have been? Yeah. Any friends with that girl now? No. Oh, you are? Well done. Yeah. I have been as well. It takes counseling. It takes patience. Most relationships die well before the participants admit it. And having the ability to go, this is no longer working, we should cut and run now, is a fundamental of being a good seducer, learning how to break up with girls, how to separate when the time has come is really important and to move on to the next cycle. So from there, active single, we move into multiple relationships. This is where you can date and have actual relationships with more than one girl at a time without the need to lie to her or give the impression that you're offering something that you're not. Because there is another way, the way the player, which is where you just go out, pick up a chick, have sex with her, kind of give you the impression that baby after some time, once I get over my last relationship and so on, I'll be yours. And then do that to another girl and another girl and so you have a bunch of girls who think that you might be their boyfriend. And where does that end up? Getting caught. Yes, getting caught. It ends with mess and slash ties and broken plates and screaming, I thought you love me and all that kind of shit, which is dirty. We don't want to get involved in that. But if you're at the winner. So the way the player is unnecessary and it's stupid because the presupposition behind it is that all women want to be your girlfriend, which is a very arrogant thing to think. I remember early on when I was experimenting with the multiple relationship paradigm, I thought I'd better tell girls straight away. So I picked this girl up on a trashy one night stand. We had that animal pornographic sex you can only have with somebody you're never gonna see again. And afterwards I said, oh, I should just let you know that I'm not looking for anything serious. She's just looked at me and said, I don't even know what your name is. I'm gonna go now. Yeah. And I was a bit of a wake up call. Oh, I've just been used for sex. Nothing. So don't presume that all women want to be your girlfriend because we are sold this myth that women use sex to get relationships essentially, which is not true. They do do that sometimes for sure. But a lot of the times women will use men for sex. There's a whole range of bizarre motivations that lead to women deciding to have sex with a man. She's bored. She just wants to get revenge on her boyfriend. She's trying to procrastinate from an essay she's supposed to write. You happen to remind her of some weird father figure from when she was a child. God knows what. But it's not necessarily because she wants to be in a relationship with you. From that fourth stage, we tend to move into a primary secondary situation which is where one of these girls that you've been dating tends to rise in importance. You really like them. They really like you. You guys have some kind of open deal, but most of your attention is focused in on that one person. And then from there, we move into monogamy. Which I do not think is a bad thing. I have done 10 hard years of monogamy with three girls in my adult life and I learned a lot about myself during that period. This is the time when you'll learn about what really makes a woman work, how relationship dynamics work, understanding compromise, understanding how to keep a relationship vital, becoming a really good lover. There's a lot of great things that come out of monogamous relationships and there's also a lot of awful things that can happen where people become codependent, they lose their friends, their identity, they get bored, complacent, they put on weight, et cetera, et cetera. So I'm not here to suggest one of these models over another. What I'm here to suggest to you is that you consider what phase of relationships you would like to move into and why. A very wise Ukrainian woman once said to me, when a woman has 10 men, she has one man. What does that mean? Any ideas what that means? That bit of Slavic Zen wisdom. Nothing, come on, give her a shot. Just the first thing that comes to mind, someone's thinking something and they're just a bit scared to say it. Then she gets full attention. We're on the right track. What she's really saying here is that a woman has a whole lot of needs that are met by men. And if she can find one man that fulfills all those needs, then she will likely want to hold onto him and only him. If she can't, which is often the case, she will find enough men to fulfill her needs. And all women do this. Do not be sold on the lie that there are sluts and good girls. That there are certain girls who would never do that, whatever that is. This is not true. What there is, is girls at different phases in their life who are after different things. The same girl throughout her adult sexual life will go from possibly an experimental phase when she's a teenager and her sexual boundaries are... She's starting to test them, she'll go out and fuck a bunch of guys or sleep with some older guy to teach her a few lessons. And then, you know, she'll have one of those... Her first relationship when she's, say, 20 to 23, move in with a guy, see what that's all about. Then she might cheat on him with his best friend. And then she might go out, be really focused on her career and her studies, not have time for any of that shit, but want to have sex with a guy that she considers to be her friend once a month. Then she might go off traveling to Ibiza and get gang banged by a football team. And then come back to London and wait nine days before she sleeps with a guy that she becomes the girlfriend of. This is the same girl. And in her mind, that's all completely logical because she felt like doing that at the time because those were the needs that she needed met. Now, if you go in there with the idea that there are tarts and strumpets and then there are ladies, then you will set up those roles. In the initial story that I talked about, this guy only knew one role to play in a woman's life, which was husband, essentially. That's all he knew how to do. So he meets this girl, they have this beautiful, amazing short affair, and then he fucks it up by going and bringing her a bunch of flowers and professing he is undying love to her. Because he was trying to force her into the only role that he knows how to deal with a woman in, which is to be my only love. And we slapped him about and he learned very quickly that there's other roles and he enjoyed those much more. You need to understand the thing that I love about seduction, the reason that I don't get bored of it. I've been doing this a long time, I've been coaching for six years, and if women were like robots, if they all responded the same way when I pressed their buttons in certain sequence, then I would have quit this a long time ago because that's boring and predictable. The thing I love about it is its variation. Is the fact that there is an infinite array of possibilities of what could happen with me and women that I meet. Because essentially throughout life, what you're doing is you're living a story. The collection of all your experiences, all your ideas, and all the people you meet creates that story. And magic happens when stories intersect. And as a seducer, not a PUA, but as a true ladies man, what you are doing is stepping out and not just waiting for chance to bring you the one. The one who happened to be sitting next to you, really she was the only one. What you're doing is you're going, how about that one? What about her? Let's see if we can create some magic, some love story. If we can have two lives intersect and create something awesome. Because how much people value you, desire you, and respect you has nothing to do with the amount of time you spend with them or how nice you are to them. It has solely to do with the emotional intensity that person feels with you. My role in women's lives currently is to appear in their city for a short amount of time, take them on a wild, unpredictable, an intimate adventure, and then vanish. That's the role that I choose to play in women's lives. If a woman is screening for a boy to look after her and sit and watch TV on a couch, I don't exist. We'll just step past each other. I'll go and talk to her for three minutes. It'll become apparent that these stories are not meant to meet. But there are plenty of women out there who want to live that fantasy. They have needs that need to be met by my archetype, by my role. So you gentlemen need to start thinking about what are the stories that you are playing out with the women you approach? And what impression are you giving them? Because if you give her the impression that you want to go on three predictable, three to seven predictable dates and awkwardly escalate, which my associate, Liam McCrae, will be talking about shortly, and make kind of vague promises about the future and then go and hang out with her parents and her friends and hold a hand in public and do all this boyfriend stuff, then she has only one choice but to go, well, do I want him to be my boyfriend? If yes, well, that's what he's selling. And if no, well, now I'm gonna have sex with Liam in the bathroom. Yep. So, if you want to have multiple relationships, you need to let her know that through your behavior and speech from the very beginning. That's why going up and being audacious and direct is awesome. Because only a man who is willing to play that lover, rake-ish, rail-gish, debauchers archetype would do that. Do you understand what I mean? Everyone nod. Is that a nod? Okay, what don't you understand? You do understand. Oh, good. Excellent. We're in agreement. So, here is, so that's some of the, that doesn't mean I have 30 or I've done 30. I've got 30. All right, excellent. So that's what I want you guys to take away in terms of understanding the mindsets of a man who can have multiple relationships. Think about the adventures that you are gonna have with the woman. If it's just about you trying to go up there and get sex out of her, that will work very rarely. Men who are very good with women actually are really interested in them. I am endlessly curious about the little, tiny variations that each woman has. The different face she has when she's having an orgasm. The different, you obviously haven't made enough of your old orgasm because you're snickering. The way that she operates when she's out of her normal comfort zone away from her friends. Because I'm a transient lover, I'm a person who's passing from town to town, I get to be the guy that doesn't count. That's a fucking awesome thing to be. I don't exist. I never happened. All I am is a wistful memory that she carries with her to the grave. That's an awesome thing to be. I've also been many other things. I've been a confidant. I've been a great friend. I've been a long-term boyfriend. I've been a husband. I hopefully haven't been a father yet. So, here's the process. You guys want a practical ABC step, I know you do. And how to have multiple relationships. All right, only works if you keep what I've previously said in mind. So, you picked up a girl, well done. You had sex with her, awesome. Do you need to tell her on the first night? No, you don't. Unless you have gone through some protracted, predictable courtship affair, then you've already fucked it up. If it takes more than three nights to go to go into bed, it's too long. Unless she's a virgin or highly religious or that's about it, yeah. If it takes longer than that, it's too long. Because by then, what we're doing is we're bargaining. We're trying to trade something else for sex. Yeah, because if it's protracted out, it means that we've created currencies that are not dick for pussy, essentially. If it happens within two, three nights, then we're actually on an equal standpoint. So, what I do is I have a talk with girls about the second time I've been with them. The first couple of times you have an amnesty, they may disappear, no one really cares at that point. After the first two, three times, both sides are naturally wondering what's happening here. Now, most guys deal with this situation by doing this. They just don't say anything. I didn't say I was not gonna sleep with other girls, right? So, she didn't ask. And then they wait a month or two, and eventually the girl tentatively goes, so are we together? Am I your girlfriend? And he goes, oh, no. I mean, I'm just trying to get over my ex and right now I'm focusing on my career and so I don't really feel like I've got a bit of fear of commitment and they waffle on about how, yeah, they can't really commit, but maybe one day in the future. That's the way most men deal with this situation. And I've done that many times. It's messy. And it is not direct. When we talk about direct, direct is an attitude not an opener. You should be direct for life. You don't just go up and go, hey, you're fucking sexy and then don't own your intent or your desires or your direction in life after that. That is not direct. That's very confusing for a woman. If your guy comes up all super confident, clear about what he wants, and then asks her what she wants to do on the date and doesn't actually engage in any conflict that needs to be resolved or whatever. So you'd be to clear and direct for life. I have two rules in seduction and it basically covers everything. The first one is my intergame rule, which is the right to freedom rule, which states, make no apology, take full responsibility. So in the situation where I am stepping into a woman's life and I have something to offer her, I don't necessarily have everything to offer her but I have something awesome to offer her. I will make no apology for the fact that I wish to be actively single right now, that I am focusing on my own personal development, on my travels, on my business, and on making sweet love to you tonight, probably tomorrow night, probably night after that and definitely not the night after that because I'm going. I make no apology for that. And I take responsibility for the fact that she may not be up for that, that this is an unusual thing to do, therefore I need to have an even more solid frame than the average guy, that I need to be a fucking amazing lover if it's going to be worth her while and everything else that goes on between. I take responsibility for. So, what I do is I give the girls a talk. I've been asked this many times by guys to say, well, how do you bring this up with girls? Would you guys be interested in hearing my talk that I give to girls? All right, I hope you appreciate this because there will be some girl who will watch this in the future just before I give her the talk and then I'll tell her and she won't have sex with me again. So I'm about to lose sex for you. Anyone want to give me a name? Because the first one that always pops in my mind is Sarah and I've never had sex with a girl called Sarah. Ever. A girl's name, anyone? Brittany. What? Brittany. Brittany, do I look seriously, Robbie? Would I have sex with a Brittany? All right, here we go. I'm just trying to visualize her now. Okay, straight to camera, just to be serious. Now, when do you do this? It's important. Not directly after sex. So you just roll off and you go, so I hope you're not taking this too seriously. Oh, you're getting dressed. All right. Don't do it in a public place because the girl, depending on how much investment she has in you, I mean, often the girl goes, fuck yes, awesome. Thank you. This is exactly what I want. Much more than you would expect. When I first started, when I set myself a goal one year after my first year in game, my goal was rack up as many girls as possible. Did that second year, I thought, all right, what I want to do is I want to have five really hot, really high self-esteem girls who are way smarter than me. That was my goal. So I said about that and I thought, well, what's gonna happen is I'm gonna have to get a whole bunch of girls into bed and probably 70% of them will go, fuck you, I want a boyfriend and leave. Surprisingly, it was the other way around. More than 70% of the girls were like, at least, okay, let's try this. This is another myth that we have in our mind, that girls don't want this kind of relationship. They just don't necessarily know it's out there because a lot of girls have had the experience of trashy one night stand when they were drunk, fell a bit shit about it the next day, maybe had sex with a friend once or twice and had some boyfriends. Lots of girls have had other experience, but that's pretty common. So when you come along and go, well, actually, I've got a different option. I mean, I have to sell it really well because she needs to know what she gets out of it. Human beings are selfish. What's in it for her to fuck you on a casual basis? Here's the question you should be asking yourself. So, Brittany, look, I just want to have a chat to you about what's happening with us. Now, I don't know where you're at, but I really wanna know, but what I think's important is that I tell you what's happening for me because I respect you and I just wanna be honest about where we're at. All right, so let's pause there. So it's not a big deal. I'm not going, right, so you might wanna take a seat now. We need to talk about us. Yeah, I don't need to make a big deal about it. This is me, again, being casually clear about who I am. And what I don't do at the beginning is I don't tell her what she wants. I don't say, look, just so you know, not getting married. I say, I don't know what's going on for you, but I wanna know, which is completely true. So it's not gonna set her up in some reactive defensive position. And then I tell her why I need to tell her this, because I have respect for her and I wanna be honest with her. Again, this is completely true. This is just not rhetoric. I'll be, hey, Brittany, Brittany. I've been having an awesome time with you. This has been really cool to hang out. You're a fun, funky, crazy chick and I wanna keep seeing you. All right, so here's the good sell. I tell her what I like about it, what I'm enjoying about this relationship that we're having. And I tell her that I do wanna keep on seeing her. So straight away, I've set from the beginning, I'm being open and honest, and I want this to continue before I go in there and say, just so you know. But I think it's important that you know that now in my life, I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship and I'm not offering that. There it is. You just have to fucking say it at some point. Put it out there. And not right now because maybe in the future or something, it's just like, this is my lifestyle. I'm choosing it. And then I can explain to her why that is. For you guys, that'll all be different. And just own it. If the truth is because I haven't had enough sexual experience and I wanna sleep with a bunch of girls, tell her that. Own it. Make no apology for it. So, I've told her. And I'll understand if that's not what you're after. This phrase or variation upon is really important. I'll understand. This is her get out of jail free card. This is saying, you have choice here. You know the fact. I completely understand if that's not cool for you. Because you need to be willing, if you wanna have five girlfriends, you need to be willing to let any of them walk at any moment. That was the mindset that I had. And I would, at periodic intervals, just cut all of them off. And just start again. Because that was the life that I was committed to when I went through that last phase. And that's what I'm currently in again. So, I'll understand if that's not cool with you. But, you don't have to make a decision about this now, but I want you to just think about it and let me know where you're at with it. Because I would really like to see you, but it's not gonna be all the time or every week. Because that's what I can offer right now. So, what do you reckon? And you put it to her. You put it inside there and she can go away and think about it. And then it's done. So, that's stage one. Have the talk. Now, don't do it word for word like I would. Use your own way that you would say it. But the key principle is, open, direct, honest, unapologetic, here's what I can offer. And essentially, in a nice way, take it or leave it. Now, very important is that after that, you follow up this talk with your actions. Because people will hear what you do not necessarily what you say. So, if I give her that talk and then the next day I call her up and we go for a walk hand in hand and I go and meet her friends and then I whisper in her ear, I really like you. Then I'm telling her the opposite of what I told her the previous night. And she'll hear what she wants to hear. I slept with this girl once and I spoke of the talk with her. I told her. And afterwards we went down to the tram stop to send her home. And as we're standing at the tram stop, she just innocently just took me by the hand and just held me there and just started swinging. And I said to her, Brittany, remember that talk we had just before? This is what I mean. That's a bit mean, isn't it? It's a bit nasty. And she looked a little bit shocked. She went, oh, okay. And that was it. Just by me setting that simple boundary, I wasn't being nasty. I was just saying, no, that's what boyfriend and girlfriend do. I know you've done that before with a boyfriend. I'm not angry at her. She's just did it absentmindedly. But I'm like, no, that's not my role in your life. My role is for you to call me at 10 p.m. on a Saturday night when you're horny and come over. That's what I'm here for. And so after that instance, that's all that she did. It was very clear. So as a guideline, here are some things that you should implement if you wanna have successful long-term multiple relationships. No public displays of affection. Now that does not include slaps to the ass. They are totally okay. Running a hand up her thigh while sitting at a restaurant. Also okay. Walking down the street, suddenly shoving her in an alley and pashing her passionately. Do you guys say Pash here? It's a bit of an 80s thing in Australia. I'm just swinging out and pashing this girl all night. That's all fine because what is that? Those are the touches of a lover, of a guy you're having an affair with. Not of a long-term boyfriend, typically. Well, it should be, but it's often not. So yeah, you can touch a girl like that in public, but don't walk around arm in arm like she's your girlfriend. Because again, she's just gonna hear what she wants to hear or what you're forcing her to hear through your actions. Make sense? Excellent. How often do you see the girl? My general rule was once every eight or nine days. It couldn't be once every seven days because that meant that she would start to monopolize my weekends. Not that weekends really mean anything to me because I've never had a real job, but for others it's important. So I would see a girl every week and a bit. And that was enough time that we had a connection, that we enjoyed our time together, that we had awesome sex, but not enough time for us to be getting attached. If you see a girl two or three or four times a week, you're done. Seriously. You can, however, have a really intense, dirty weekend away, or if you're in my position, rock up to a country, have an intense love affair for a few days and then disappear. But if it's a girl who's in your city, you shouldn't be seeing her more than once a week or so. And just on a side note to that, are you guys aware that right next to England is a very large continent with a whole lot of different countries in it? Yeah? Yeah, no, it's crazy. And for the price of a steak, you can fly to these countries. And for the price of another steak, you can live like a king for three days and have sex with girls that are way hotter than most of the girls here. Did you know that? It's an important piece of information. I've been traveling from Melbourne, Australia, which is about as far away as you can go without penguins, to the south side of the world to take advantage of this fact. And the average British man spends his weekends drinking expensive beer in absurd little pubs and talking to fives. It makes me very angry. Yeah? You guys can go to Serbia tomorrow for nothing. Oh, shit. Sorry, Sasha. Cat's out of the bag. Don't go to Belgrade. It's not that great. Really dangerous. Girl's not that friendly. Certainly don't have sex with you very quickly. Food's definitely not absolutely amazing. Gypsy music, none of it. Forget about it. The good thing is though, if we follow on from Sasha's 3% rule, only 3% of the guys in this room will even bother to try to get on a Ryanair flight and go over there. So how many people we got here? So there's about one of you. Who's going? Sure. All right, send me an email with photos. So that was my little passionate rant. What was I talking about before that? Brittany? No, before that. All right, I was talking about boundaries and shit. Anyway, yes. Okay, so you can't see a girl more than once a week. Otherwise, it's going to change the dynamic. Now over time, this will shift as you start moving into a primary, secondary thing. The point of this lifestyle is that it means that when you choose a girl to be with long-term, it will be that, it will be a choice out of the available spread of what you've been experimenting with. I remember recently on Facebook, I put up a post about an event we were doing which is on multiple relationships. And some girl from my primary school got on there and said, Jamie, I'm, Jamie was what people know me as, old friends. You know, I'm horrified that you used to be such a sweet, nice boy and now you're living this superficial lifestyle. People should just, you know, get together through serendipity or something like that. I didn't bother to reply, but I thought to myself, so what this girl was endorsing was literally that, inactive single to whoever you happen to first hook up with, monogamous relationship. That's fucking stupid. In the normal world, well before anyone broke this down, people went out, dated a bunch of people, had sex with some and then went, oh, that one's the best one I've found so far, so that's the one I'm gonna have a relationship with. That's what you guys are doing. You will end up in monogamous relationships. They can be a beautiful thing, but they should come out of choice. It should happen when you go, whoa, and I've got no other choice but to let all my other girls go because that one there has just blown my head off. Only under those circumstances should you enter into a monogamous relationship. Otherwise, you'll cheat on each other. There'll be resentment. You'll feel like you're missing out. And guys do that for decades and then they come and see us in their late 30s and 40s and it's a sad predicament to be in. The other important thing about being able to juggle multiple women is you have to be really good in bed because there's nothing in it for her if she gets one night a week with you and comes over and has lousy sex. Why bother? So it's important that you become a great lover. I think the average that a man lasts in bed has gone up over the last generation. It used to be three minutes and now it's five minutes. So ladies, you're doing better than you used to. Yeah. That's pretty horrible, really. And think about it from the woman's perspective. For the guy, at least he got off. I mean, it was five minutes, but at least he had got off. Unlikely, she's gonna have an orgasm in that amount of time. So if you become a really good lover or even just a better than average lover, then you have set yourself well above the bar of where most men are. Now, I'll give you a few little tips on how to get good at sex. Firstly, good at the sex. Firstly, stop jacking off to internet pornography. Everyone's like, what? I don't even have the internet. The reason being that this posture is not in the karma sutra, the mouse and cock. Yep. What that posture actually does, and that you're gonna use that as a screenshot, aren't you? It's like James Marshall. What that posture actually does is try, if the majority of your sexual experiences is in something along those lines of that posture, it trains your body that this is what sex is. This is how you get aroused. At the same time, you're disassociating yourself from the realities of sex by looking at a screen in this stylized, weird kind of conceptual version of what sex is. And I had a friend who knew that he had a problem with internet porn when one day he looked at a computer that was off and he got a hard on. He was like, not good. He's still doing it, nothing's changed. So, remove that from your life. Yes, you may still masturbate. Carry on, it's good for you. But, use your imagination instead. Or better still, focus in on only the sensations of your hand touching yourself. Actually seduce yourself. Because if you're used to jacking off three minutes in the shower, then you're training yourself to blow in three minutes, essentially. In a tense, you know, heady space. So if you're gonna masturbate, do it once a week and have a nice bath, light candles, spend time with yourself. He's like, what the fuck? How many girls you had sex with? Not many. All right. Because this will train you to actually become a sensual creature, to actually get in your body and to enjoy the process rather than the outcome. Most men in sex are just trying to get their nuts off. Right? That's not the way you should view it. You should enjoy every moment of it and then become a responsive lover. And the other thing is, if you have very little experience with women, find a girl who's a bit older than you, who's had plenty of guys and just ask her to teach you. I am so grateful to one girl in my life who when I was 21, she was 26. We went to bed together and I could tell afterwards she was kind of disappointed. And I just swallowed my pride and I said, listen, Brittany, which, I don't know what I'm doing, obviously. So could you just teach me how to fuck properly? And she did. And that changed the course of my life. Just that one woman and those couple of weeks where she took pity on me. And because I was still direct and clear about, I made an apology. I'm shit in bed. Can you help me fix this? I would really appreciate that. I can buy you lunch or something, whatever you want. But that would be a big help to me. So find a girl who is sexual, who you're really comfortable with, spend a bit of time with her and just experiment and learn together. And if she's got more experience than you, she can show you what to do. It's really important. No one talks about this. They always talk about how to go up and get phone numbers. If you are really fucking good in bed and you walk up to a girl on the street and you're looking in the eyes and you think and know and project, I can make you come so fucking hard. How easy is it gonna be to use a direct opener? How easy is it gonna be to lead the interaction? Because you're thinking to your end game. Rather than the guy who's like, I'm gonna go practice an approach. She can see that in his eyes. She's like, this is not worth my time. This guy is not gonna take me on an amazing adventure. The role that this guy potentially plays in my life is nuisance. Possibly a friend who, maybe I'm meeting cuddle with sometimes, but certainly not have sex with. There's a whole lot of roles that women need fulfilled by men that don't involve the men having sex with them. Do you guys wanna play those roles? Say yes or no. Right. It's totally fine to play them with some girls. I have lots of female friends. I don't have sex with them. I really enjoy their company. But that's because I chose that role between us. Any girl I walk up to on the street, I'm looking at dead in the eyes and I'm thinking, I wanna fuck you. I'm not sorry. How much time have I got? Five minutes, go down. All right, cool. Well, I think I'm gonna wrap it up then. So if anyone's interested in coaching with me, the only way you can do that is on the Euro tour currently. Myself and Sasha and Liam and Johnny Cooper, lovely. I've just returned from this. 10 days around the clock through Central and Eastern Europe, meeting the hottest women in the world. It's not cheap nor should it be. We've sold out the first two tours and we have five places on the final tour. If you wanna get this stuff sorted in two weeks and not fuck around, come and speak to me after the talk. You can find out more about what I do at vjamesmartial.com, theurotour.com, the saucy governor loving you, love it. That's John's website, thenaturallifestyles.com and please add me on Facebook and ask me questions at three in the morning like everyone else. Now, does anyone have any questions about how to have more than one chick or anything else? Yeah. Right, great question. And I actually was gonna cover that and then I forgot, so I'm glad you reminded me. Okay, how to troubleshoot this. So you've done the talk, you started this open relationship paradigm. Don't think that that's the end because over time, yes, even if she logically accepts it, her emotions are gonna come into play and so will yours. Don't think for a minute that if she's out there sleeping with other guys that you're gonna be all cool with that. This is actually a very advanced way to live your life because you have to deal with a whole range of emotional connections with different people that are happening at different stages. One of them you're in the honeymoon stage, one of them you're in the things getting rocky, someone's getting jealous or whatever else. So at times, yes, the girl will go through a period where she's not comfortable with the situation and you can't just say to her, we had a deal, if I can deal with it, a walk, we can. But if you'd like to keep the girl around, really, usually what she wants is to know that she is special to you and that she is able to voice her emotions. So many times when you have a guy and a girl fighting, the guy's trying to logically work, well, I don't really see what the problem is because the screen door, I fixed it and she's like, usually let's always do this to me, but we can fix this or whatever. Really what she wanted was for him to hug her and say, I love you, all right? So don't say that to girls in multiple relationships. So what I do is I preempt that. I don't, again, don't wait. When I notice that the girl is being a bit colder or I say, how are you? And she's like, fine. I don't just ignore it. I will bring it to a resolution point. I love confrontation because it leads to resolution. So many people are afraid of confronting somebody with an issue and therefore they let it fester until it explodes in some passive aggressive way. So if there's something happening with her, I will say, hey, it looks like you're, you're thinking about something. Are you not cool with what's happening with us? Let's talk about it. And then I'll ask her to express exactly what's going on for her. And then she will, you know, she might say, well, you know, I just feel like why am I not enough? Or, you know, it's really hurting me that you're with other girls or you know, I'm getting too many feelings for you or whatever is that's going on for her. And then what you do is again, back to the talk, you say, look, I understand that this can be really difficult for you. And I'm actually happy to talk about it. And you allow her to vent it and show her that you're actually listening and that she is special to you because any woman that I, it is a lover of mine is very special to me. I don't, I'm too old and fucking tired to do trashy one night stands anymore very often. What I love having is an intimate deep connection with a girl over, actually often over years, but across different continents and different ways. So these things will definitely come up. And she is special to me and I need to let her know that. That's primarily what the problem is. So once she's been able to express it, again though, you must keep your boundary clear. So you can say you understand, you know, I can see how it's hard, et cetera, et cetera. But like I said at the beginning, Brittany, this is what I'm doing in my life right now and this is what I want. And I'll understand if that's now no longer enough for you. Once again, I check in with her and I just give her that chance to go, again, you are free to walk. And when someone's free to go, they girls want to be with a man that wants them but doesn't need them. That's really powerfully attractive. So the door is always open either way for the girl. And sometimes girls will go, all right, look, I just can't handle it, they'll go off. They go and find a boyfriend. Two years later, they break up with him. Who's the first guy they call me? Because they know what my role is and they don't need to like act all awkward because they haven't called me in two years. They can just go, send me a text. Hey, what are you up to? Well, well, look who's back. Would you, are you free on Friday? I'm totally cool with that. Does that answer your question? Awesome. Next, yeah. Just my question is, can you go from, say, like a previous ex-girlfriend to put it into a multiple situation now? See my face, look at my face right now? No. Once you, you can't go, you can't go back. Can't go backwards. No. You cannot go from monogamous, serious exclusive relationship to open relationship. Now, I mean, it has been done in history of the world. You can try for as long as you want, but you're not gonna, is that me being harsh to her? Because I know that she probably wants more, but I go, look, I'll give you that and she'll take it. Am I being cruel to her by allowing her to, and I'm like, I'm with other girls, but she wants, is that cruel to you? Oh, you mean you're in a situation where you've presented to the girl the offer, she stays with you because she... Thinks she can change me. She thinks she can change me. I'm aware of that. And I'm like, well, I'm not gonna change. I'm gonna let you keep trying. Is that me being harsh? Well, I don't think that's a skillful move. When I first started doing this, I basically, I set it up. I had five girlfriends, but it was pretty shaky because the girls had accepted the terms, but were not really happy with the terms. So what you really need to start doing is the more that you become solid in your frame and archetype of this is what role I play, the less girls try and test it. Cause they just look at me and they're like, it's a waste of time trying to make it in, my boyfriend. And on the other side, you need to screen for girls who are up for that kind of thing. And as I said, it's not a type of girl. It's a girl at a particular time. So, you know, right from the very beginning, I would just set things up and I'll just say, what do you think about dating a bunch of guys? And if they're like, oh, I'd never do that. Well, I'm like, cool. And they're like, yeah, well, depends on the guy or whatever. All right, we're screening and we're starting to be on the same wavelength. I go for girls who are very confident, very confident, have high self-esteem and are very clear about what they want. Those girls tend to be far more open to this than girls who are insecure and needy. Girls who are insecure and needy latch on to be to protect their males. And they just screen for each other and find each other with amazing accuracy every time. What you're projecting out there is what you'll start attracting. And if your attracting girl is on the fence and she really wants more and whatever else, you're probably in for some mess down the road. It's probably kinder on her and more efficient on you to go out there and just say, look, I cannot give you what you need and go and find girls who want it. All right, I think that's all I have time for. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. It's been a pleasure.