 When the narcissist finally hovers you when the narcissist finally comes back to you They are expecting you to be hopeful They are expecting you to have a feeling of expectation or desire For a particular thing to happen They are expecting you to be hopeful that they might help or save you They want you to think that there is something for you to hold on to They do this to direct a great deal of your attention, interest or activity towards them They want you to be attentive They want you to be focusing on them. They might refuse to take notice of you Refuse to acknowledge you Disregard you initially It makes them feel as though they are something significant and powerful. It makes them feel special and important Desirable and attractive But once these feelings begin to fade away And the effects of this are no longer as potent as they initially were The narcissist begins to feel small again. They begin to feel worthless and insignificant and important undesirable and attractive Because they are no longer receiving any attention from you You are no longer attending to them. This is when they know that they need to re-engage They need to attract your attention or involvement again They need to get you to participate or become involved with them again This is when the narcissist finally hoovers you. They might say sweet or kind things to you These are all intended to re-establish the emotional connection that you have you once had with them They want you to think that they are still interested in you But it's just another tactic It's just an action or strategy Carefully plan to achieve a specific end They want to keep you interested in them keep you hoping Keep you expecting and desiring That maybe they do have the capacity to develop something in the future Maybe they do have the developed qualities and abilities To lead to future success or usefulness Because they already know exactly how you expect and desire them to be How you want them to behave with you But they are not going to act in any way that you would like They are always going to do the opposite of whatever you expect or desire from them Because they are trying to control you They are trying to influence and direct your behavior and the course of events That doesn't mean that they don't share the same or similar desires or interests But for them to be able to control you They will have to restrict certain activities They will have to restrain their own emotions or actions This is necessary for them to maintain influence and authority over you When the narcissist finally hoovies you It is to get you to break no contact with them It is to get you to abandon everything you were standing for and give into your desire or impulse It is designed to get you to renounce your practice of no contact The narcissist might give you some time to yourself Especially if you appear to be angry towards them They might wait until you are more relaxed and then they will come back They will say sweet or kind things to you Bring you flowers or chocolates To make it seem like they care or that they are sorry Different narcissists will do different things Depending on what has worked for them in the past And depending on what you like or prefer It's emotional manipulation And it is designed to change your behavior and perception Through indirect, deceptive or underhanded tactics The narcissist advances their interests at your expense In a way that might be considered exploitative or devious They want to see if you are still interested in them They want to see how much they are able to control you How much they are able to affect you Emotionally detach or disconnect from the narcissist Take away the hope of desiring or expecting anything from them They are dependent on your feelings of hope to be able to emotionally manipulate you To pull you back into their world They are dependent on your emotional reactions of wanting and needing them If you don't respond positively to them They will punish you They will use passive aggression Expressing their negative feelings, resentment and aggression In an unassertive way They will ignore you and give you the silent treatment This is meant to confuse you and make you feel as though you have done something wrong Or you need to respond differently to them Regardless of how they have treated you They will act as though they are no longer interested in you And they will refrain from being around you as a form of punishment But then they will come back And it's supposed to send a message to you That if you do not respond positively to them next time Or in the way that they would like They will make it longer and make you suffer The disinterest is meant to punish you for not validating their false self For not seeing them as the powerful, significant, desirable and attractive person that they believe they are But of course this is only on the surface Their false self was created as a way of coping and defending Against their feelings of worthlessness and insignificance The narcissist needs you to validate their false self at all times Or else they feel small They feel as though they don't exist As though they're not important or significant They feel like they are dying Like they are fading away If you don't validate them They will blame you They will become hateful and resentful towards you In their minds you have done something to make them feel that way So they will act disinterested towards you Until you finally give in and validate their false selves And that is what their Hoover attempt is designed to do It is designed to bait you in And trick you into validating their false self and making them feel as though they exist Thank you for watching I hope this video resonated with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching enquiries you can email me at narksforumcoaching at gmail.com Check out the immersion dice in the narksforumstore Where you can purchase your own narksforum t-shirt, tank top or mug The link is in the video description Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon