 Finding love when you're over 50, can love happen when you're in midlife? Well, today we're going to explore the TV show, The Golden Bachelor. Now, I know the title of this says over 50 and the Golden Bachelor are people in their 60s, but I think it relates a bit to the slightly younger demographic and that is that we're seeing a huge rise in divorces. They call it the gray divorce. And I suspect in the next 10 years that the demographic of being over 60 and single will probably be the highest demographic of singles in the dating marketplace. So I think it's worth exploring this. And what I am interested particularly in this show is it draws attention to being single in your 60s. And again, this title is over 50, but then again, my demographic is over 40 and let's face it, the 75% of people who are in the dating marketplace over 45 years old are divorced. So we are seeing a significant increase in single people in this age demographic. And I think the Golden Bachelor will draw attention to this like nobody's business. So I'm going to give you my take on the first episode which aired a few days ago and I would love the chat boxes where we're doing this live to maybe chime in and give your picks as I start going through my assessment. But if you're not familiar with the Golden Bachelor, here's a picture of him right there. This is Gary or is it Jerry or whatever the heck his name is who's 72 years old. He's a widower and he's certainly a very handsome man for his age or at his age, I should say. And the Bachelorettes are women. I'm assuming that they probably put out some announcement that would, if anyone was interested that they might want to join. And I think the only criteria is you had to be over 60. And while this is a very fuzzy picture, here is a picture of the ladies. You can't really tell from this, but this gives you, they're all in evening gowns, they're all dressed in black. I honestly don't know all their names. I can't even remember them, but I wanna give you my perspective of the first episode. So if you did happen to watch the first episode, let me know. And it starts with him putting on a tuxedo and they're doing their like B roll kind of stuff where he's getting ready. And right off the bat, there's a picture of his wife who passed away. And there's a story that goes along with this. And the story basically is that they saved up their entire life to buy their dream house on a lake. And they had closed escrow, I believed on July 7th of 2017. And eight days later, she was diagnosed with a bacterial infection and she died right away. So there's a teary-eyed sadness that starts the episode off. And there's a lot of compassion for what he's experienced. And he's looking at a picture of his wife who passed away, almost asking permission for engaging in this process. And if I didn't say this earlier, this is a bachelor on the TV show, The Bachelor on ABC. And there are 22 women buying for his affections. But it starts off with him connecting with his spouse who passed away. So let's talk about this right here, okay? I'm gonna jump into the deep end right here. And I would think this would give someone pause. And I want you to think about this, if while we can have sadness and compassion that he is still mourning the loss of his spouse who passed away, I would assume six years ago. The question begs is, is he still tied to her? Is he still connected to her? In other words, what I mean to say is, does he still have affections for her? And does he have the capacity to have affection for someone new in his life? I think that's a question worth exploring that isn't discussed in the show. By the way, everybody, I have to take a one-second break. I realized I forgot to turn on my lights. So I just wanted to turn on the lights that I usually have that brighten up the room a little bit. I knew something was off. So okay, so it starts with him feeling a sense of loss with his wife and asking practically asking permission. So if you're one of the bachelorettes, how would you feel about that? How would you feel engaging with someone whose spouse who passed away and they might have deep love and care? And does this person have the capacity to love and care for someone new? I think this is a big question and they don't address it in the show. Now, given that we are talking in the demographics of over 50, 60, and 70s, in this case, he's 72, this is a true reality that we're faced with for those of us in midlife is that many people have had a significant relationship that either ended in divorce or excuse me, it might have a marriage end in divorce and there can be a lot of contention around that. They could have had a significant relationship that broke up and they could have still longing for this other person. Or in this case, you might have deeply cared for your spouse. You had this dream house that you were going to move into together and then she passes away seven days later. Is he really ready for a significant relationship? So I think these are an interesting questions worth exploring. Now, I would suspect after six years, he's probably in a place where he can actually give his heart to a new person. Many of you know I lost a child. There's a picture of my son Connor right there. He passed away five years ago and I can tell you for the first couple of years after he passed, I was in a deep state of mourning and now that it's been five years, it doesn't have the same sting. So in the case of Gary, is it Jerry or Gary? Now, you know what, G-E-R-R-Y. I could have swore I heard them say something different on TV and that's why I'm mixed up right now and I'm feeling ridiculously embarrassed about this, okay? Because, and maybe it's just I've, it's a phonics thing or something like that. Anyway, I would hope that he is in a place where he can actually open his heart to someone new. However, for those watching this, you might be wanting to know is someone really capable of loving if they've gone through a contentious divorce, maybe they went through a breakup that broke their heart or maybe in this case, they're a widower, are they really open to loving someone new? Okay, so this is some really important stuff to be contemplating. Now, what I thought was cute is as he's putting on his tuxedo, he also puts on his hearing aid. I mean, we gotta call that out. That's just life. I mean, for those of us in midlife, our parts don't work the same, our bodies don't work the same as they once were. Look at, I'm wearing glasses and that's relatively new in my life. And I mean, well, that's a very common thing. But, you know, this is just the reality and I like that reality that, for those of us in midlife, you know what? Let me pause for a second. So my ex-wife's mother married a widower and he was, I believe, 61, 62 at the time and she was 59, okay? This was almost 30 years ago. Yeah, it was 30 years ago, in fact. And he was a widower, you know, his wife passed away very much similar to Gary and they had been married or they were together for 26 years and what's interesting in this particular case, Sheila and, oh my God, Bob, excuse me. You know, they were together 20, wait, he died at 93. So they were together 30 years. They were together 30 years before he passed away. So for those of us in midlife, midlife is not a death sentence, okay? And what I mean to say is we could potentially have 20, 30, even those that, you know, they're in their 50s could have 40 more years left inside of them. So I wanna say there's absolutely opportunity to find love in midlife, okay? Now, when the women start arriving, you know, they all have their little gimmicks and one had a sweatsuit outfit because she was a former Chicago Bear cheerleader. There was a woman who was in her, it was her birthday. She put on her birthday suit, which actually just happened to be a nude colored bathing suit. There was one woman that came out in a walker and then she took it off and, you know, it was, you know, dancing around. There was this woman 75 years old. She was a very slender black lady wearing glasses and she was very zen and into spirituality. I can relate to her. And I thought, wow, you know, she's 75 and she looks fantastic. Does anyone remember her? I thought all of the women were absolutely beautiful. I thought they showed a lot of grace. They showed a bit of flair. They showed a bit of fun in their personality, which was a real kick to see. And they're all dressed in evening gowns and all dressed up and whatnot. And as the evening progresses, if you're familiar with the bachelor, they all of them arrive in a limousine. One woman came in a motorcycle, you know, motorcycle. And then they go on to have a little cocktail party and he interacts with them. He gives what's called the first impression rose, which is the woman who kind of caught his fancy the first night and out of the 22 women, he has to pick 16 that will carry on to the following week. Now, what I appreciate about the Golden Bachelorettes is that unlike the bachelor, we have the bachelor is got, they're all in their 20-somethings, you know, 20 and 30s years old. They're very catty. They're very competitive with one another. So it's a stark contrast because the women showed absolute grace as they were interacting with each other. I really felt a heartfelt sense of camaraderie with the women. And, you know, to some degree, maybe there's a little bit of competition and we're gonna talk about that for a second. But for most part, you know, I think some of them were just happy to do it. You know, what was wonderful about the women is that they weren't there to increase their social media status. In fact, some of them didn't have a social media footprint. They didn't have an Instagram or Facebook account. They could care less about getting likes. You know, it wasn't about showing themselves off so they can get some TV show later on down the road. Okay. Now, I will say this. While it didn't get catty or anything like that from my perspective, I do feel like some of the women were kind of over exaggerating and I suspect this is what reality TV does. They were encouraged to seem like they were chasing him. And it seemed like many of them were chasing him, his affections in the outtakes that they took. They were like, I'm gonna win. You know, I'm the number one, that sort of thing. Now again, I suspect that is for reality TV. But let me just say this. I'm not a fan of that. And let me tell you why. You know, I've said this before. I've said it again on my channel. I'm not a big fan of women chasing men. I'm not a big fan of men chasing women. I like two people to make mutual effort in the relationship and see what comes at it through a mutual exchange of effort. Okay. What I wished happened that didn't happen. I wished at least one of them would say, why should I choose him? See, the problem with the format is you have 22 women buying for one man, okay? Like 22, 22 buying for one man. Now this is much like our current dating marketplace. You know, through our dating swiping apps, you know, the cream of the crop men or women are the ones who are buying, you know, there's a select few of the most attractive that are getting all the swipes on our dating apps, you know? And in our current dating environment, people are doing what's known as duty dating or circular dating. They're dating multiple people at the same time. And I'm not a big proponent of this. Ladies, how would you feel if you met someone who you both hit it off on a first date and you liked each other and he says, he'd like to see you again. And you see each other again and then he says, I'd like to see you again. And you see each other again. And all in a very short period of time, let's say in a two week period of time, you might have seen each other three, maybe four times. How would you feel if he's also doing that with another woman and another woman and another woman and another woman and another woman? Although I don't think he could squeeze on that many dates. And that kind of thing, on that many dates and that quickly. But to the extent that a woman is doing the same thing, she's seeing one man a few times, she's seeing another man a few times, another few men. And by the way, a lot of coaches will sell you on the importance of doing duty dating so you don't get attached to the wrong person. But I'm here to say, if you're not good at discernment, if you're not in a state of self love, see a person that gets attached too quickly is a person that gives their power away. By the way, this is my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? A Journey of Personal Development, Self Love and Spiritual Work. The copy of, to get my book recommendations, it's in the show notes there in the description. You can check out all the books I recommend. But I'm not a big proponent of people dating multiple people at the same time. Now, that doesn't mean you can't meet many people at the same time, just like Gary is meeting all these women, but effectively he will be going out on dates with them. And I'm not a fan of that. Now, to the extent that this is reality TV and it's all meant to create a narrative, I'm just sharing with you, I'm not big fan of multiple dating. That's all, just not a big fan of it. I think when two people like each other, then make an investment in each other, get to know each other in a relatively quick period of time. You know, we shouldn't drag out dating for months and months and months. It should only take, you know, maybe a half a dozen weeks at best to really decide if two people are willing to explore a relationship with each other. You know, certainly these days we, people jump into bed way quicker than they enter into a relationship. And I think we've got it backwards, which we'll talk about that in a moment as well with The Bachelor. So from what I understand, I posted this on my Facebook page about The Golden Bachelor. And supposedly the producers at The Bachelor gave Gary a bunch of condoms. And one of the women wrote on my page, did she, did they also give him lube? Because for our over 40 crowd or 50 crowd or 60 crowd, you know, it's not just about protecting against sex, but also as we age, just like he's putting on a hearing aid, we probably need a little extra to make it happen. However, I'm gonna be really sad if I find out that he slept with more than one woman in this process. I think it's just inherent in this process to set the women up for the, the final four women up for some level of failure. These are, you know, you get to that point in the show and you're starting to have feelings for someone and he's only allowed to pick one. And it's possible that one of these women might turn into the Golden Bachelorette. But, you know, I hope that he reserves his heart for that one special person. And unlike The Bachelor in regular television with the 20-something crowd, I truly hope that he does reserve for one person. And I'm actually very hopeful that he'll meet someone special. He's got 20 great potential partners. Okay, so why am I bringing this up? Because this draws attention again to that being over 60 in this particular case is not a death sentence to love, that it's quite possible. And quite frankly, if you're a woman on the show, you just increased your visibility to men substantially while they may not, to the extent, be hungry for social media connection, I am sure they're going to get a lot of attention from men out there. And it's really an interesting testament just for years as a dating and relationship coach. And by the way, if you need some support on that, right there, schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you. There's a link below. My area of expertise is to help you attract a golden partner in your life by teaching you the techniques of vetting. But also putting yourself out there on an energetic level because here's the bottom line. Unlike those of us in our 20s where we're in an environment where we're surrounded by single eligible people. And by the way, that's shifting for the younger demographic as well. The real challenge in midlife is to be seen by somebody, to be seen. And sadly, through our devices, it's the weakest form to be seen because what dating apps have turned into is a basic telephone. So folks, when I was in sales, when I was first in sales, I was given a telephone book and was told to randomly dial people over and over and over again to see if they wanted to buy what I had to sell. This was called cold calling. Well, guess what? Bumble, hinge, all the dating apps is just another form of cold calling. These are cold leads. These are absolute strangers in your life, okay? What I want to encourage is what I call warm leads. So in this particular case, Gary is surrounded by 22 warm leads. He's got to narrow it down to 16 on the first day. Excuse me. And he has to sadly let go of a half a dozen women and that was very challenging for him and I can understand how that's kind of difficult. You have to randomly make some choices. Is he gonna base everything on looks? Is he gonna base it on something about character? Well, we don't know what's going on in his mind, but the reality is is he's got an environment where he's got 22 eligible people. See, in our current dating marketplace, it might seem like we have hundreds if not thousands of eligible people, but the reality is is we're rarely going to even be in front of that many people. So ultimately what these women are doing, what benefit for them is they're being seen by a greater population and men might reach out to them. See, ultimately I invite you all to really ask yourself, how are you being seen by single eligible men? For those of you who are single, you know, this afternoon I've just finished, I have a six week coaching program where clients go through a boot camp I created. And it fascinates me. I have a client who looks like she's, well, she's third date in, but looks like she might already have a boyfriend. We'll see, it's still rather fresh. I can't tell you how often women go through my proprietary coaching program and I get calls within weeks, if not months of working with me. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy and they know the difference. See, I think as I shared in a previous video, we are in the dating marketplace, there are landmines in front of us. And what your job is to learn how to navigate the path through the landmines. And those landmines are the dysfunctional human beings that exist in the dating marketplace. So you can attract a good guy like a Gary. We'll see if he's a good guy. I don't know yet. I'm hoping he's a good man. He seems like a good man. And while he might be the cream of the crop, who knows? I do know that there are a lot of good men out there. Ladies, as much as you're frustrated in this process, there are good men out there. And just like men, like myself, who feel like there aren't any good women, I know it's raining good women. I know it's raining great men. I think the secret is to learn how to navigate the landmines. And if you need some help with that again, schedule a discovery call with me. That's my area of expertise. So I wanna wrap up with one last thing about the show, the first episode. The last two minutes, you see previews into the future episodes. And this really has me sad. Because you can see the women genuinely chase, the select few are actively chasing him. He's actively dating him. He's romancing them. Romancing them, excuse me. And there's almost a little level of desperation from what I've observed in the women and he's kissing multiple women. And I'm not really, I don't support that. I know it's a show and I know he's dating. And by the way, they're all dating in this confine. I mean, the reality is, is people can multiple date and you never know that they're kissing multiple people. But I'm really sad. I'm only sad as I know there are going to be at least the last three women of two of them, they probably have gotten very attached to him. And that's gonna hurt. See, giving your heart to someone, this is where the show, I don't like the premise of the show because there are gonna be two or three women who have given their heart to this guy and he's gonna pick one out of that. Now, I know the tables will be turned if they do a golden bachelorette. So it'll be the men down to the last few and experiencing that, but I'm not happy whether it's a woman narrowing it down to a few guys or a man narrowing it down to a few women where you're actually getting rather attached to them. This is coming back to why I'm a big fan of only dating one person at a time. Now, what I mean to say is, if you're agreeing to explore a relationship with someone, then do it one person at a time. If you're just randomly dating and there's no commitment between the two of you, there's no real future talk. I guess you can do whatever you want, but I'm not a big fan of that either. I'm not a fan of this lack of intentionality. I'm not a fan of this casual dating, this circular dating, this duty dating, this situationships and friends with benefits. I'm not a big fan of that for folks. But you have to decide what's right for you. Ultimately, what I like about the show, it's drawing attention again to the fact that you can be 40, you can be 50, you can be 60 and you can even be 70. And it's still possible to attract a really good partner in your life. And my hope is this show draws a lot more attention to that. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Post a comment below. I'd like to hear what you thought about what I shared about the Golden Bachelor. And by the way, if you liked this video, please hit the like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos. All right, it's time for Q and A. Let's talk about that a little bit more. If you want to know my perspective on the show or anything, write the word question or post the question there after. Or you can purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's my son who passed away, as I mentioned earlier, picture of him right there. That's Connor. He passed away over five years ago in his honor. We donate to causes like the Hoffman Process, Insight Institute, and also the Seeds of Love, which is an organization to help underprivileged children in Columbia. So if you have a question, jump on in. Oh, and by the way, if you want to join the hot seat and want a little tough love, there's a little link to join there as well. Okay. All right, let's see what kind of... Oh, Todd is in the house and he says, amen. Thank you for that. Lexi has just said that love can happen at any time, anywhere when your heart is open. Indeed, when you have an open heart, I totally agree. Let's see what else we have here. Let's see what else we... Marion says, I swore I would never watch the show and when a friend put me up to it, I hated it. Okay, well, I can understand that it's not for everyone's cup of tea. Lexi also wants to say, men and women who chase love get desperate. I do agree with that. Not a big fan of acting from a place of desperation or a place of lack. The magic entertainer says some men want a relationship, many just pretend they do, to try to trick most men just want a booty call. Yes, sadly, through our devices, that has become, as I shot in my video recently, dating apps are oftentimes used for hookups or looking for an unsuspecting therapist. If you wanna learn about that, check out a recent video I did. Sherry wants to add, Jonathan, it is raining healed and great men. It is raining healed and great men and not H-E-E-L-E-D, but H-E-A-L-D. Each H-E-A-L-E-D. Yes, I agree. Kim wants to add, much too complicated dating multiple people. Any of those ladies better watch themselves because the prince may be out in the audience. By the way, the show picks the ladies at the rose ceremony I hear. Possibly, that is possibly true. And Joy jumped in, just wanna say, Jonathan, I love men in glasses. She looked at, oh, well thank you, Joy, I appreciate that. All right, let's see what kind of questions we have in the house, okay? Let's scroll here. Oh, okay, we got Trista who's just written a question. Miss the beginning, what do you think, who do you think he will choose? Oh my God, I don't know their names. I just don't know their names. I do have three women that I'm buying. I remember one, gosh, there are three or four women. I just don't know their names. I should have that listed here, but I guess when we get closer to the final, well, let's just say this, I have a few picks. I'm gonna keep it close to the vest for right now, okay? Jane Spitfire says, do you think most of these women been married or widowed or single? All of the above. I believe we have a couple widowed women. We have some possibly never, I don't know if there's anything never married. I mean, I know there's a number of divorced women. And by the way, here's what Gary isn't going to do. He is not gonna use my technique of vetting because the show has already curated people that seem to be intentional. But I doubt he's gonna ask the deeper questions. Maybe he will, particularly about those women who have gone divorced to find out if they have a contention. If they're in the midst of a divorce, do they have a contentious divorce going on? Do they have baggage in their lives? I wonder if Gary will ask those deeper questions. But ladies, I invite you to make sure you ask those deeper questions of all the men out there so you can find the ones that are actually emotionally available for the show. Gigi wants to say, the premise of the show is to get engaged. What are your thoughts? An engagement is just an agreement to get to know each other deeper to consider marriage. I think, well, okay, let me reframe that. An engagement should be an agreement that we're gonna go a bit deeper to decide if we make good partners for marriage. Usually it's a precursor to marriage, but I would much rather it be a strong declaration to really vet each other to determine if they're a good fit from a long-term perspective or not. But yeah, I'm good with it. I'm good with it. All right, let's keep going. By the way, folks, I would love for your support. I'd love you to donate to the Conor Asley Scholarship Fund. I'd really like to get $50 tonight. So if you have a question, purchase a super sticker, super chat, makes it easier for me to find. So I'd love to do that, donate some money tonight. Marion wants to just let us know that she loves my show and I appreciate that. Jane says, I think one of the pretty blondes since so many of them. You know what? I don't think it's gonna be a blonde. I think he will pick a brunette. That's my gut feeling because he's blonde. But I think there'll be a blonde. There's a beautiful silver hair lady or gray hair lady. I think she's gorgeous. I think the black gal is really fantastic. The one that wears glasses. I love the Indian woman. I think she really is classy. These are just some off the cup. But I think it's gonna come down to, my gut tells me to brunettes, okay? Not that there's anything wrong with blondes. The magic entertainer says, do you think it is stupid to like a guy who is like 70 years old, ugly married with kids that doesn't like you back? I hope you're not really asking me that question. Do what feels right for you. Question, if he's kissing all those women, will it make him suitable as a faithful husband? Well, I guess he's kissing cheating. I don't think so. But again, I'm not a big fan of the way the show is curated to create the entertainment value. I'm just more curious. I, again, I'm happy that they're drawing attention to an age demographic that you can be absolutely graceful, amazing and stunning, even in your 50s, 60s and even 70s, okay? Gigi wants to talk about the woman. She's, oh, that's a different blonde. I was thinking of the taller blonde. Gigi, you're thinking of the little hot blonde that had the chickens and the eggs and all that kind of stuff. I actually thought she was a little bit annoying to me. I think she's very brazen. I think my gut tells me. It's just a gut reaction. That's a judgment on my, you know, we make quick judgment calls. It's just part of our nature. It's part of it is transference that happens in our lives. If you're not familiar with something called transference, I highly recommend Googling that, but it's very possible. But I don't think she's gonna last that long. My gut tells me she's a little bit pushy, but I could be wrong. All right, let's keep going. The brunette on the motorcycle. Is that the one, the former dancer for Prince? If that's that one, I think she's got a shot at it. I think the dancer's got a shot at it. There's another woman. She's really petite. Teresa, I think the birthday suit woman. I think she's got a shot at it. There was something about her that I thought was really charming. The one that she came out, it was her birthday that day. And then there was the one who played guitar. I think she got the initial rose. I think it's gonna come down to one of those three is my gut feeling. And also the tall blonde, I think her name was Joan. Again, I'm just vaguely remembering the names. Jay Breeze, he says, yes, love your show, Jonathan. Yes, agree, he will choose a brunette. Again, that's just my gut feeling. Listen, I live in Southern California. The women buy their peroxide by the barrel here. That's just a tongue-in-cheek joke. I actually have a thing. I had a thing for Jacqueline Smith growing up. I had a thing for Linda Carter growing up. I do have a thing for, oh, I have a big thing for redheads. I love Stephanie Powers in the TV show, Heart to Heart. I love not redheads per se, but Auburn, that dick, deep rich, dick rich, deep rich, dark Auburn hair. I think that is very attractive as well. So those are just a little bit of my guilty pleasures, if you will. All right, let's keep going here. All right, Lightseeker has a question. How do you deal with a man who plays games with your feelings like trying to make you jealous? You break up with them. Simple as that. I mean, do I really have to answer questions like that? How do you deal with them? You end it. If people who play games are not worth, then that's a childish behavior and you can't change. Listen, someone once said behaviors can change, but personalities can't. If they have a childish personality that is playing games and they dismiss you, that's a personality flaw and I don't think you can change those. Diamond Girl said the clucking was just plain weird. I was annoyed by the clucking. I know she's making her stand out, but the woman who played guitar, oh, one thing that they didn't do unlike the bachelor, does anyone watch Saturday Night Live when they do their little skits on the bachelor? There's always the women going, oh, can I borrow Gary? Oh, can I borrow Gary? Oh, can I borrow Gary? You know, the one thing this show didn't have, or at least I missed it, was the annoying, can I borrow the guy from you? Does anyone remember that? Does anyone notice that in the bachelor? The one thing the women did is had classes. If you were talking to them, they gave them that space. So I appreciate that. Kim is in the house and she says, my friend is a wedding officiant. He said he performs weddings and now where the couples don't have the license notarized, what do you think about that? Interesting. So earlier today, I interviewed Catherine Woodward Thomas. She wrote the book, where is my copy of the book? She wrote the book, Calling in the One. And we were talking about how many people in midlife are choosing not, they're choosing spiritual weddings, spiritual ceremonies, in lieu of the legal contract. Because marriage here in the United States is a legal contract that many, but there's nothing you're signing in the contract. There's a marriage certificate, but there's no rules of engagement in the contract. So I'm not surprised people are doing that because what you're signing away, you're not really, you're not, sadly, there are no upfront rights discussed in the marriage contract when a marriage ends. So it's worth, possibly these days, I think there's some validity to prenups and having written contracts associated with it because a lot of people are reluctant to get married for these reasons. So, but I'm a big believer in spiritual weddings, making that declaration in that regard. That's just my personal opinion. Oh, and by the way, I just wanna be clear, I like all hair colors, blonde, brunette, redheads, dark hair, all that kind of stuff. I just happen to have a little propensity to the Auburn hair. All right. Oh, Nancy wants to remind me the guitar woman was also the motorcycle gal. Thank you, I've forgotten that. All right, let's keep going. Ruthie is in the house and she says, do you think this program will open the door to more programs be exclusive of this demographic? It's really refreshing to see. Folks, what do I do? I'm a midlife dating and relationship coach. I call midlife after baby making years and before retirement. So most of my clients are between the ages of 42 and 69. That's my demographic. I've been waiting for this. I think now we are going to see more content related to my demographic, which will hopefully help my business. I'm hopeful for that because I believe we have a very underserved population of human beings who have no fucking clue. How to date. They have no clue how to pick partners. I'm sorry I threw out the F-bomb there, but we really have an inept group of naive and ambivalent human beings in the dating marketplace, particularly the men. You ladies, you guys are swimming the sea of dysfunctionality for both men and women, but for men, their lack of intentionality is pathetic. And you need your big brother there, my job. You know why? It's because there are no more consequences for bad behavior. Gary, by the way, he's got to be careful because there is a consequence. Your reputation is on the line for bad behavior. But for the most part, there's no consequence for bad behavior. And I think that's why it's very challenging for women particularly. All right, let's keep going here. Looks like my internet is slow. All right. Oh, hey, I want to give Margaret some props for the $7.99 Super Sticker. Thank you so much. All right, we are $42 away from getting to our $50 goal. Let's keep going here. Let's keep going. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Terry says, I was blonde when I got married and went back to my natural hair after my divorce. I'm dark blonde now. I don't highlight and have some grays that I say blends with my natural blonde to my hair. Way to go. All right. Jane wants to say out loud, you were right, Jonathan, no consequences for crappy actions. Yes. You know what? I was sharing with a group of my contemporaries last night. Do you know I have clients that actually have me call the men that they're dating and I go through the vetting process for them? Now I charge a lot of money to do this, but these women are like, look, dude, if you like the women's attitudes, like, look, if you like me, you got to go through my big brother. You got to go through my uncle. It is something, you know, I actually have thought about creating a service where the men have to fill out a questionnaire if they want to date my client, they have to go through me because I'm gonna create some consequences for them. In other words, I got a big ass shotgun if they fuck over the women I work with. Well, anyway, I don't think I can legally do that, but it's certainly on my list of things to do. Or I certainly do it to some degree. Kim says to everybody, there is a 62 point questionnaire the contestants have to fill out so they carefully vet the ladies. It would be so fun to be picked. I'd be interesting to go through my questionnaire versus their questionnaire. I'd be curious to know what those questions are. Heidi asks, what qualities do men look for in older women? Let's first define what is an older woman. So because to a 18 year old man, 36 years old could be an older woman. So let's first define what we mean by that. The truth is qualities men look for. Ultimately, they're looking for somebody that they're aligned with, but most importantly, they feel good being around. Emotionally healthy men, emotional grownup men want to be with someone where they're aligned in their values, they're aligned in their lifestyle. She's an emotional grownup. There's physical attraction, but most importantly, they enjoy this person's company. They like talking to this person. That's what emotionally grownup men seek. So those are just a few things. All right, let's keep going. Jane says, I heard he harmony has 500 questions. Yes, there's a deeper vetting process. Sadly though, they have a very limited pool of people. But yes, they do have a pretty extensive process to determine compatibility. Who wants to join me on the hot seat? Put that link, okay? All right, let's see. Jane, your social security does not change if you get married unless you're collecting spousal benefits from a previous marriage. I do know a number of people will not get remarried because of that reason. Some people will not remarry because of alimony. So there are some legitimate reasons why some people from financial perspective won't marry, okay? All right, let's see what else is going on here. Come on, someone don't be bashful. Join me in the hot seat. I'd like to talk about the bachelor with somebody. E harmony pool is baby blow up pool. They match me with a guy from New Orleans. Yeah, the problem is they don't necessarily find you people in your area, it can be anywhere in the country as well, okay? Rosa says, but emotionally intelligent men still look for attractive feminine who appears fit before all the connection. Yeah, you know what, let's face it. Human beings, I don't care if you're a man or woman, we do have a side of us that physical attraction is an important component of the decision-making process. We all have a type that I'm sure we're attracted to. We certainly have a dysfunctional emotional type due to our love attachment style and our amago, but that's another conversation. But yeah, that's a very common thing. Women, by the way, women can be just as picky as men. You know, it's not, you know, women are equal opportunity, you know, picky people, okay? Men and women alike. So it's just a natural, hey, we've got Renette in the house. Can we hear you? Hello. Can you turn the camera a little more so we can see you? Okay, hey here, let me pull over. All right, so what do you have for me? I think we lost you. You there? Oh, well. All right. Oh, wait, are you coming back? All right, folks. Well, she gave it a try. Sometimes when we were on our phones, I think I have a weak internet connection. That might be part of the problem too. Terry wanted to let us know that I watched the Golden Bachelor and so far it appears the women are classy and not vindictive. I like how the compliment each other. Again, I did notice that and I would say I was really impressed that unlike the junior show of the 20 and 30 year olds, there is a bit of class with these group of women. And I appreciate that as well. So, all right. Liske wants to say, yep, physical attraction is key and I feel better when I take care of myself and look good like when I'm attracted to myself in that way. It's good energy all around. We want to be, if you want become what you want to attract. And I'm speaking to men too. Men, if you want that more attractive woman then make sure that you're making the effort on a both physical, emotional, spiritual and mental level to be as attractive as you possibly can. Not for, you know, I don't mean it as a sense of like, oh, you want to get the hottest woman kind of thing or the hottest guy. Do it because that's what you want on the inside for yourself. At least that's my invitation for everybody. All right, let's see what else we have. Kim said, eHarmony sent me a non-match going by looks. No way, scary, I quit eHarmony. You know what, Marie's son married a woman she met on eHarmony or he met on eHarmony. So here's the thing, whether it's eHarmony, whether it's match.com, whether it's okayCupid, whether it's millionaire match, whether it's JDate, they're all portals for connecting with people. They're not foolproof, okay? They're not foolproof, but here's the bottom line. If your current system of meeting people is working for you, then you don't need the dating sites. If it's not working for you, I highly recommend trying every spoke in the wheel. That's my invitation for everybody. Folks, I want to say this, I draw attention to the landmines. It's part of my business. I am trying to draw attention to the landmines out there. But as I was speaking to someone last night, the most important factor, coming back to the person who asked the question about what qualities are people looking for, I can tell you that the most important quality is attitude. See, if your attitude is down on the dating process, if your attitude is down, if you hate the dating process, you have this much chance to attracting what you want, this much of a chance, okay? If you want to increase it 10-fold, then change the attitude. It's raining great men. I love the dating process. I love meeting new people. I love making new friends. I love putting myself out there. I love being who I am. I love being of service. I love being a person who's grateful. I love person that's appreciative. I love a person who's curious. I love that I'm a person who is grateful. I love that I'm a person who's curious. I love that I'm a person that's inspired. I love that I'm a person with passion. I love that I'm a person that is open and receptive to love. Folks, the attitude makes all the difference. And I can tell you that 97% of singles out there have a shitty, piss poor attitude. So if you want to rise to the top, then become that top 3% with an amazing attitude. And then invest in your personal development, self-help and spiritual work. Invest in your emotional wellbeing, your physical wellbeing, your mental wellbeing, and your spiritual wellbeing. Invest in all those modalities so you can become a magnetic tractor for what you want. And then set an intention. Folks, I invite everyone to set an intention right now with me. Within the next six months, I am in a juicy, delicious, healthy, happy relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork building skills, both in our personal, our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy, but it leads to either us getting married, or excuse me, either living together, getting married, or at least a spiritual marriage, God, universe, spirit. I invite that in in the next six months. Set that intention. And be all of that that you want to attract. Are you with me? Are you willing to change your mindset, your attitude? Because that makes all the difference in finding love when you're 50. And let me just say this, can love happen in midlife? Apps a fucking loot like. Just like Gary is gonna find someone special in the next weeks to come. All right, that's my take on the Golden Bachelor. What did you think? What did you think of this episode today? Did you find value in it? Did I nail it? Do I think, oh, does anyone think it's gonna come down to those three women that I mentioned? Again, I think it's gonna come down to the gal who's the dancer, the gal that was the birthday suit. I think the tall blonde, and I think the girl, the woman that played guitar. That's my four picks. I don't know their names, but that's my four picks. It's gonna come down to at least one of those four. Let's see if I'm right. Hold me to it. All right, folks. Listen, I'm gonna wrap up. My mouth is parched. I mean, I'm getting kind of hot on the collar. Thank you so much. If you found value in this, please post a comment below. I'd like to hear all your thoughts. Also, if you liked this video, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Please share this with friends. Hit that notification bell so you can be notified of new videos. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video. As I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic jar of the bear hug. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Magic Entertainer and Sherry and Marion and Ruthie and Jay Breezy and Margaret and Liske and Flowers and Kim and Jane Spitfire, Midnight Immortal and Puh, Puh, Puh, Puh, Puh, Puh, Puh. Let's see, Anita, Lexi, Kim, did I say that? Rosa, Terry, Johica, Joanne, Irene, everyone, Gigi. Everyone, thanks for being in the house. You have a great evening. You be well. Bye now.