 The narcissist does not want you to be happy. Your happiness is a reminder of their unhappiness. Happiness to them is enjoying others unhappiness. Their idea of fun is to abuse and manipulate you. They enjoy distorting your reality and confusing you. It excites them and makes them feel alive. When they get bored and there is no longer fun for them, they will nudge you to suicide or even kill you themselves in extreme cases. The narcissist does not want you to be happy. The narcissist does not want you to have fun because anytime that you are happy or having fun it is a reminder of how miserable, dissatisfied and bored they are with their lives. Narcissists deal with negative emotions daily. They experience intense feelings of hate, anger, jealousy and envy. The narcissist will endlessly try to achieve satisfaction and fulfillment in their lives to the point where they become selfish and greedy. You might look at the narcissist and wonder why are they not satisfied or fulfilled? Even when they have everything they could ever want. Even if you had a small percentage of what they have, you would feel deeply satisfied and fulfilled in your life. But with the narcissist no amount of money or material things could ever satisfy them. This is because although they appear to be externally validated with money, material things, friends and relationships they have no self-validation. Happiness is meant to come from within but narcissist can only be externally validated which makes it impossible for them to ever be truly happy, satisfied or fulfilled with anything in their lives. Regardless of how much they have or what they have, narcissists can only be externally validated. Their happiness does not come from within and any happiness they achieve from external sources can never sustain them for long. This is why they become so greedy and selfish. They always need something new. They always need more. If they are abusing you it is never enough. They have to abuse you again and again with no end because it can never sustain their happiness for long and any perceived amount of satisfaction or fulfillment it provides them is very mild. If you are happy or you have obtained something new in life, the narcissist will be feeling down. They will then say or do something in an attempt to affect your happiness. If you have bought a new shirt or a new car they will assume that you are happy and satisfied with your purchase. This will make them feel as though they are missing out. They become envious and want to take it away from you. Of course they know that by taking it away from you they will be stealing which is socially unacceptable, illegal and could get them in trouble so they won't steal your new shirt or new car. Instead they will try to steal the happiness or satisfaction it has given you. They will criticize your new shirt or new car. They will devalue it and make you believe that it is not as great as you think it is. They cannot appreciate anyone else's happiness or success. Of course as empaths we do not operate in that way. If we see someone who is happy or achieving everything they want in life, this does not offend or hurt us. It makes you feel gravitated towards them. As empaths we love positive energy and wish to share our own energy with other people of like kind. An empathic group of people is like a transaction of positive energy and everyone is lifted up. When it's an empath and a narcissist it's a transaction of the narcissist draining you of your positive energy while they inject their negative energy into you. Your positive energy may have sustained your happiness and made you feel great but since the narcissist obtains this positive energy from you as an external source it cannot sustain them for long periods of time. This is why they will continue to abuse you as they try to fill their bottomless bucket of validation. The bucket is bottomless which means it can never be filled. There are two ways for people to live. Some people have to put others down to feel good. Others prefer to lift your energy and make you feel good which also makes them feel good too. This option is easiest for us empaths because we are self-validated. The narcissist is not self-validated, their happiness or positive energy does not come from within. So they have, they do not have the ability to raise your vibrations thus raising theirs. Their only option is to lower your positive vibe and create the illusion that they are happy. They are not happy really. They just think they are because they have made you miserable. Their happiness is always relative to how you are feeling. This is why you will notice that they are very interested in your emotions. They always want to know how you are feeling because their happiness is relative to your happiness. If you are happy they will be miserable and forced to attack your happiness. If they can make you miserable they will then be happy. They see you as an extension of themselves. They apply their negative traits and emotions to you. They expect you to carry their emotional baggage. They want you to feel their pain so they project their insecurities onto you because they cannot own their own insecurities, traits or emotions. They become hypersensitive to your positive emotions. Any happiness you feel becomes a reflection of their unhappiness. They have no control over their emotions. You have more control over their emotions than they do because anytime that you are feeling happy you can be sure that they are miserable inside. They are lacking control over their emotions. They are trying to regain control over these emotions by controlling how you feel. They have to take control to regulate their own. Anything that makes you feel happy, makes you feel alive, valued or appreciated must be sabotaged and destroyed as soon as possible. Whether it's your career, relationship, friendship, money, material things it has to be destroyed. They feel powerless and out of control over their own lives. I guess the only way to make up for that is to control our lives. Their lives are far from interesting which is why they become obsessed with us. They look at us and think how can you walk around so happy and smiling like that? It drives them crazy but do not tone yourself down from them. We are not meant for narcissist consumption. It is their choice to keep coming back, stalking and watching the very thing that's making them sick. The definition of insanity. They cannot stand the thought of you moving on, finding a loving partner and being happy. They are extremely hateful, angry, envious and jealous of you so their goal is to drive you insane, nudge you to suicide or kill you themselves. They want you to be so messed up mentally that you will no longer be capable of loving someone after they are gone. They can't have you so they don't want anyone else to have you either. Your happiness should not exist without them. That's how they think and even when you are with them they will never let you be happy because it becomes a reminder of their unhappiness. When you have gone through this and it's all over it is difficult to trust again. You believe that everyone is the same. You no longer trust people even those who may be genuine. If you do not trust someone and it is not due to something they have done it is going to be related to something that has happened in the past and this has led you to become anxious of the future when all you know is disappointment or betrayal. You might think that everyone else will do the same thing but this is not true not everyone is like that. The real test of a person comes when you have been dropped and you are at your lowest. Once you have been dropped how do they treat you then? A genuine good person will treat you the same or even better than ever before. A narcissist will take advantage of the moment and do whatever they can to hurt or destroy you. The narcissist worst nightmare other than being exposed is for you to become something great despite the endless abuse you have received. This will cause the ultimate narcissistic injury. This is why the narcissist spends her entire life on a daily basis doing every little thing they can to tear you down and prevent you from being something. If you become something despite all of their efforts all of their attempts to sabotage and destroy you then they have failed. A normal emotionally healthy person would not waste a single second of their time trying to ruin someone else's life. They would take that time and energy and use it on their own lives but narcissists don't believe they are capable of anything anyway. They have low self-worth, self-esteem and self-belief so if they can't be something great you should neither. Narcissists love to bring you down when they see you coming up. The reason for this is because it is a reminder of all of the failures they have had in their lives. Their life was not as good as they wanted it to be. Seeing you coming up is a reminder of this. The narcissist thinks that if they couldn't achieve what they always wanted then you shouldn't either. It becomes an endless obsession fuelled by their intense feelings of hate, anger, envy and jealousy. Doing anything and everything they can to prevent you from ever being happy.