 hey survivors and frivers welcome to the video please like comment share and subscribe click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos if you would like to donate my paypal link is in the video description if you are interested in one-on-one coaching please contact me at Narc Survival Coaching at Gmail.com is the narcissist happy with the new source of supply towards the end of your relationship with the narcissist it is likely that they began to triangulate you with their new source of supply there was an argument or disagreement between you but instead of trying to work it out with you the narcissist chose to bring someone else into the situation because of the argument or disagreement you stopped fulfilling their needs whether it was giving them attention validation approval and admiration giving them love affection money material things your time and energy the narcissist was devaluing and degrading you they were abusing and manipulating you so you stopped fulfilling their needs instead of trying to resolve the argument or disagreement the narcissist chose to find someone else to fulfill their needs you have to understand that narcissists are emotionally mature shame-based people doing anything they can to avoid shame doing anything they can to avoid taking responsibility or accountability for their actions or behaviors the narcissist learned this behavior as a child if they did something wrong and their parent wasn't happy with them rather than accepting the blame and trying to learn from their mistakes the narcissist would spend time with their other parent instead this would leave the parent who blamed them alone to feel guilty and possibly blame themselves for the child's actions or behaviors you may notice that even though the narcissist is older now they are still doing the same thing they have just learned to adapt this behavior to adulthood now when you try to blame them for something they have done wrong rather than accepting responsibility or accountability for their actions they will leave you and find someone else to fulfill their needs just as they would leave the parent that was blaming them for their actions and then spend time with their other parent narcissists are shame-based people but they don't want to self reflect on this emotion so they will do anything they can to avoid feeling the shame the narcissist refuse to take responsibility or accountability for their actions or behaviors this may give you cognitive dissonance two conflicting beliefs you may be wondering who was right and who was wrong you may find yourself alone blaming yourself for the narcissist's actions or behaviors if the narcissist knew that they didn't do anything wrong they wouldn't have left they would have tried to resolve the disagreement or argument with you but they didn't they chose to leave you because they are emotionally immature self-absorbed and lack empathy they cannot deal with serious issues they are just there to use you like an object and extract whatever it is in that moment that they need at first they gave you plenty of time and attention made you feel loved and appreciated but this was only to secure you as a source of supply over time they began to neglect you and because of this you stopped performing at the standard they would normally expect this is when the narcissist gets pulled out of their fantasy world and into reality realizing that other people have needs too and it's not all about them of course narcissists don't want to deal with reality they want to live in their fantasy world where they think everything revolves around them and as long as their cup is full you should just keep your mouth closed and be happy for them they are self-absorbed and lack empathy they do not care about you they only care about themselves and what they can take from you so it's nothing for them to leave you for someone else who doesn't know what they are really about and at the beginning of their relationship with a new source of supply it may seem as though they are treating them better than they ever treated you they may be doing things that they never did with you they will plant themselves in certain places where they know you are going to be just so you can see them together they will upload pictures on social media for you to see don't take any of this seriously it's an act specifically designed and orchestrated for your viewing pleasure or pain it is planned and they have specifically coordinated the elements of this situation to produce a desired effect to produce a desired reaction from you they may also orchestrate it in a certain way where it doesn't look like it was specifically coordinated to produce a desired effect or reaction from you but it is you have to trust me on this they know exactly what they are doing they know exactly what kind of reaction they are going to get from you they don't even need to see your reaction to them or their pictures to know that you are hurt or in pain and it's your hurt your pain that gives them narcissistic supply because narcissists are sadistic they feed off your pain but if you remember that this has all been specifically coordinated to produce a desired reaction from you you don't need to take it seriously anymore when you see them together in person or you see a picture of them on social media it's an illusion they are not really happy if you could see what happened several minutes before or after that moment you wouldn't be in pain you would be laughing at how ridiculous they look and they know this which is why they had to specifically coordinate and orchestrate this situation so that they could get the desired reaction from you before you saw them in person before they took those pictures they were probably doing something completely different probably miserable doing nothing it was designed to affect you to get a reaction from you they don't even have to see your reaction because they already know how it's going to make you feel and then they just sit back and wait for you to contact them to confirm that they did get to you narcissists cannot experience real genuine happiness they have to use other people to even get close to that emotion they have to hurt people so they can feed off their pain just to get a little high but it never sustains them what you are seeing is most likely the love bombing phase you experience this with the narcissist and as time goes by with each relationship the love bombing phase usually gets shorter and shorter as the narcissist learns to perfect their art of manipulation once the narcissist knows that the new source is interested in them and they have secured them as a source of supply that initial excitement of finding this new person will disappear narcissists get bored quickly and the grass is always greener on the other side to them once this new source triggers the narcissist to reflect on their insecurities vulnerabilities or weaknesses the narcissist will then have to project this onto the new source so the narcissist will begin to scan the new source for any faults mistakes flaws or imperfections and of course we all have them so inevitably it will move from the love bombing to the devaluation phase they may not abuse or manipulate the new source in the same way that they did with you but that does not mean they are not abusing or manipulating them in some way they will always be abusing or manipulating someone as they are deeply insecure and have an inferiority complex they have to project their insecurities onto someone else to avoid feeling shame you may not see them abusing or manipulating the new source in the same way as they did with you this is because different people have different vulnerabilities weaknesses or insecurities so they will tailor make their abuse and manipulation to that specific person they will adapt the new source and whatever their specific vulnerabilities weaknesses or insecurities are in the love bombing phase the new source is seen as being perfect that is until the narcissist recognizes a fault mistake flaw or or imperfection or the new sources qualities talents or positive traits will trigger the narcissist to reflect on their own vulnerabilities weaknesses or insecurities they have to punish them for triggering them to reflect on their own vulnerabilities weaknesses or insecurities that's what motivates and drives them to do what they do they could not do it without motivation and their motivation comes from their vulnerabilities weaknesses and insecurities which your presence has triggered them to reflect on this is the devaluation phase at this point they will want the new source to feel as though they are not good enough or they are not lovable the reason for this is because the narcissist was told that they are not good enough or they are not lovable as a child they were abused or neglected and instead of self reflecting on their traumatic experiences they chose to project those emotions those unresolved traumatic experiences onto you this is why they will do everything they can to make their targets feel that they are not lovable it's projection just as they try to make you feel worthless and insignificant projection again they are so desperately and obsessively trying to provoke these emotions within you because it relieves their pain and misery hurting you appears to provide them with some relief in some sick and twisted way it makes them feel powerful so this is why they will so desperately and obsessively go out of their way to do this to you however they are trying to make you feel that's how they feel they have learned this behavior as a child they could not be overtly angry to their parents so they learned these covert tactics which are under the radar since then they have perfected this craft to deal with adults they never learned how to be open honest and genuine or how to resolve an argument or disagreement instead they use covert passive aggressive tactics such as projection, blameshifting, denial, gaslighting and the double bind to deal with their intense negative emotions the narcissist is not happy with the new source of supply and soon enough the new source will be discarded and the narcissist will be off ideally idealizing some other unsuspecting victim they are endlessly chasing something they will never find narcissist cannot experience real genuine happiness and the lower level form of happiness they do experience is something they can never sustain anyway but they will do anything and everything to make you believe that they are happy and really having a good time with the new source but it's all fake you wouldn't have to put on a show and make so much effort to prove that you are happy if you really are happy when a person is truly happy they do not care about what anyone else thinks because their happiness comes from within rather than any external influences you need to take your focus off the narcissist they are endlessly chasing something they will never find you need to see this as a blessing this person was only going to hold you back from reaching your true potential but now they are gone you have the opportunity to heal and become your best self the only person who can hold you back now is yourself avoid over analyzing the situation or what you have experienced process the emotions but do not dwell on them you need to become your own best friend rather than your worst enemy do not let your thoughts control you instead you control your thoughts you decide what meaning to give to this experience it can be something that broke you down or it could be something that made you greater than you ever thought you could be that's all for this video thank you for watching i hope this video resonated with you please like comment share subscribe talk to you soon