 Lux presents Hollywood the Lux Radio Theatre brings you William Powell and Myrna Loy in Hired Wife. Ladies and gentlemen your producer Mr. Cecil V. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen. I'm sure a certain telephone conversation must be repeated countless times a year. On one end of the phone is a girl in the ticket booth of a neighborhood picture theater. On the other end is a customer who wants to know what the picture is. When the girl can say it's William Powell and Myrna Loy and well she just doesn't get a chance to finish because the customer is already on his way with the whole family to see Bill and Myrna in any picture. Tonight in the Lux Radio Theatre we're in the fortunate position of having this golden team in a comedy that would stand on its own feet even without them. The play is hired wife adapted from the universal picture and it presents a situation that might have been tailored to order for our stars. A businessman that's Bill is faced with the interesting dilemma of losing his business or acquiring a wife, any wife. His secretary that's Myrna gets the business like assignment of finding him a wife and that places her in an even worse dilemma. But I believe what she does about it is what any woman would do in her place. Not every business office unfortunately can boast a secretary as lovely as Myrna Loy but the average in this land of the free and the beautiful is rather high. One proof of that is the number of former secretaries who are now acting on the screen. Among the girls who play a symphony on the typewriter keys all day you'll find that Lux toilet soap is pretty much standard equipment just as it is in the dressing rooms of the stars right here in Hollywood. Of course it's part of a secretary's job to look her best from nine in the morning to five or six in the afternoon. After that, well beauty punches no time clock but if Lux toilets open at hand she doesn't worry. Now it's cut in time for hired wife. Act one takes the stage with William Powell as Stephen Dexter, Myrna Loy as Kendall Browning and Edgar Barrier as Ferdy. Spring has come to New York City. We can tell it's spring because the morning sun is beaming brightly and everyone is wearing rubbers because there's a faint odor of blossoms mingled with the gasoline fumes and the scurrying crowds have slowed down to a fast trot. On this lovely spring morning a girl walks along Fifth Avenue on her way to the office. A long sleek limousine furs out of the traffic and pulls up beside her. Kendall! Kendall! Browning! Here! Oh, hello Ferdy! Going to the office, get in, I'll take you. Emil takes the building 49th Street. Ferdy, this is a pleasant surprise. Oh, I like your car. It's not bad. Not bad? Why, Ferdy, it's positively regal. A car is a car. Kendall, I'm very glad I ran into you. Can you lend me ten dollars? What? I need it, I'm broke. A car like this in your... Oh, I get it. You didn't marry the girl. Oh, she is not going to marry me and I'm not going to marry her. I come from saying goodbye to her. And to five million dollars. Six. She was nice too. She did not make me walk home. This is her car. Well, what happened according to you? Well, she say if we marry it would spoil a beautiful friendship. Ferdinand Brigand, you're a liar. You said that to her. Well, you said it to me four years ago and I could not tell a lady I had made love to that I had caught a cold in the feet. You'll never marry one of those rich lollipops, Ferdy. Your heart isn't in your work. With your heart? It is in your work, yes? Yes. Every good secretary is in love with her boss. She has to be to put up with him. Your Mr. Dexter is a nasty fellow. No. Steven's a good egg. You must meet him sometime. He is made of his own cement. Every day for years he is near you and what does he do? He makes more cement. Oh, Steve. No woman hate her, Ferdy. He has a mad moment now and again, especially in the spring. That is not love. That is he fever. It's very much like it. He seems to catch it from blond and his taste is terrible. Oh, is he ill now? No, but I never know when he'll show symptoms of a relapse. Now, you're the sort of man who was born with a flower in his buttonhole. But when Steven Dexter wears a flower, I start to fill the ice bag. And when he goes around humming, my Bonnie lies over the ocean. Look out. I still do not like him. How dare he hum at the blondes when he can hum at you. Oh, he did make a pass at you. The spring I went to work for him. But I put him in his place. A good opening move. No, bad. He stayed there. Right here, driver. Well, give me a ring, Kendall. I will. Bye, Ferdy. Thanks. Morning, William. Good morning. Lovely day. Spring is really here, isn't it? I don't know yet. Has Mr. Dexter come in? Yes. Just now. Was he humming? Humming. No, I don't think so. Was he wearing anything? Like Miss Brownie. I mean, was he wearing a flower? Oh, no. Fine. Coming, Mr. Dexter. Coming. Good morning. Hello, Kendall. Come in. There's some checks here you watch sign. Yeah, just put them down. Kendall, I think we've got that gang of cutthroats, like the combine. I'd watch them pretty closely, Steven. Van Horn says there are a lot of wolves. Well, here's one lamb that'll find too tough to gobble. Van Horn said yesterday they're trying to get an injunction. If they do, it'll tie up every one of your assets. Yeah, I'd like to see them try it. But just to say, my... Oh, stop worrying. Kendall, enjoy the spring. I'm going to. What? The spring. Enjoy the spring. Oh. Come in. Excuse me, sir. But the elevator boy said you dropped this. Oh, my flower. Thank you, William. Yes, sir. A flower, Steven? Yes, for my lapel. A sort of symbol of spring. Why not? Got a pin? I'll get one for you. My body lies over the ocean. You're a little off key, aren't you? Here's your pin. Oh, thank you, Kendall. Oh, what a day. Look out that window. Isn't that a robin on the windowsill? Yeah. Hope he falls off and breaks his neck. Nothing? You know, I've been admiring that billboard across the street. That one with a girl on it. Now, that's what I call advertising. Oh, for a man like my car. Strong, responsive, modern. Nice lines. The car, the girl. I was looking at the car, but now that you mention it, the girl isn't so bad either. Blonde, isn't she? Yes, blonde. Mr. Dexter, will you please sign these checks? Oh, yes, of course. Morning, Chief. Oh, come in, Mac. You know those advertising layouts, Chief. Let's see them. For good roads, Dexter's cement. Say, Mac, don't you think these are a little old school? Well, they sell cement. Yes, perhaps, but we've got to keep up with the times. Mac, can't you give me something with a little more heart in it? Something, uh, something more modern? No, no, no, that's what I mean. That billboard out there, that's got punch. Why can't we use a girl? She'll be our trademark. A girl. Little Annie's cement. Kendall, please. Hey, Mac, have some new layouts made, will you? Just think the idea over. Kind of mother-handed. All right, Chief, but you won't like it. Hey, Kendall, uh, who is that girl on the billboard? The blonde. Yes, the blonde. Who is she? I don't know the name, but the face is on the canned tomatoes I use. Well, get hold of her. I'll, uh, I'll see her myself. Wouldn't it be easier and quicker to pay her off right now? You heard me get her. All right. Yeah? Good evening. You're Miss Walden, aren't you? Yeah? My name is Browning. The company I'm with... Is this about opposing job? Yes, it is. Well, then, see my agents, please. I have seen them. They gave me the address. You'll have to excuse me, Miss, um, I'm just going out to dinner. Call me someday next week, but not before 11. Very well. I'll tell Mr. Dexter. Good evening. Oh, wait. What Mr. Dexter is that? Not Dexter's a man? Yes, it is. Oh, well, tell me, Miss, uh, do you know what Mr. Dexter has in mind? In a general way, yes. Will it be a big campaign, Missa? Yes, I, I believe it'll be one of his biggest. Oh, well, I'll get in touch with him tomorrow. No, I'll call you in a range of appointments. Please do. Of course, not before 11. That's right. Good night, Miss, uh, good night. Chief and Kendall? No, he's lunching at the Yale Club. You got the new layout? Yeah, I got him. Look, Kendall, just look at this stuff. Isn't that awful? Dexter, the cement Modan is lasting his true love. Oh, I don't blame you. Has he gone daft or something? Keep your kilts on, Mac. He'll get over it and fast. Pretty girls on cement bags. Can't you get him to drop it? I'll see what I can do. Well, you'll have to do it pretty soon. We've got a deadline to meet. I'm doing it right now. Hello, Miss Phyllis Walden, please. Oh, well, will you have a page, please? Thank you. Miss Walden is having lunch on the terrace. Who's that? The blonde. Oh, Mac, leave me alone a minute, will you? Sure. Good luck. Hello, Miss Walden. Well, this is Mr. Stephen Dexter's secretary. I'm afraid I've rather disappointing news for you. That job is off. Off. If Mr. Dexter ever does need you, I have your name and address in our tickler system. What? Well, Mr. Dexter changed his mind. That's all. Yes, he decided just before he flew to Chicago. Chicago, yes. Well, I'd rather not tell you exactly what he said. All right, remember you asked me. He said, call up Miss Goofy Pan and tell her she can't peddle her post to Steve Dexter. No, he isn't really a brute. He's quite nice, but women are just things to him. Goodbye. Hello, Campbell. Hello, you're late, Stephen. Go ahead, dock me. Were you at lunch all this time? My dear, I was attending to some business, okay? You must have had a particularly good lunch. Oh, so-so, so-so. I had to break three important engagements you had this morning. Sorry, kid. Kid? Now, Stephen, give me a little advance notice next time you're going to be off of your boo-la-boo-la friends getting tiddly. I'm not the least bit tiddly. Then let's get some work done. By all means. Van Horn called about those contracts, the combines. By the way, when is Miss, uh, uh, that poster girl coming in to see me? Oh, I'm afraid I'd rather disappoint any news for you. You couldn't get her? No, not available. Van Horn's worried about- What did she say? Well, it boiled down to no. She gave no reason? No, he did. He? Who's he? Her fiancee. Her what? The man she's going to marry. They were eloping. Oh, I see. I just caught them at the airport. Oh, I suppose they flew to Chicago too. What do you mean, two? Oh, just two. And now- Now, uh, about Van Horn. Oh, yes, he said- Chief, can I see you? Yes, of course, Mac. Uh, you've got the layouts? Yeah, here. Hmm, you don't like them, do you? No. No, that girl on the bag stuff is out. Women are just things to me. Huh? Yes, call her up, Kendall. Tell her she can't peddle her puss to Steve Dexter. Steven! Mac, we'll go back to the old reliable. Fine. And, oh, Mac, uh, you might file those in our tickler system. Right. Steven, this is unworthy of you. How could you do anything so dishonorable, so low? Me? What did I do? Eavesdropping, wiretapping, listening in on my private conversations. What'll it be next, keyholes? Kendall, my dear, I happened to be lunching with Miss Walden when you phoned. Oh, oh, I see. You leave it to me to get her, and then you sneak off and date her behind my back. She phoned my house last night. I thought it would save time if- Why am I apologizing to you? Call me some morning, but not before 11. You certainly have bad taste in women, Steven. Kendall, I'm going to say just one thing, and then we'll drop the matter. You're my right hand. I'm not at all sure that I could run this business without you. But I think I can run my own life. Suppose you let me try, hmm? All right. Van Horn's worried about you. I don't like the way you said all right. I'm sorry. She's not like the others. No, none of them was. Fellow Walden is a lady. She has character. What kind? What do you know about that? What you? She's fine. She's real. She's honest. And I'm not. Yep. Well, you keep yourself out of this. I'm going to see fellas tonight, tomorrow night, the night after, and every night, and day she'll see me. How do you like that? I don't like it at all. But it doesn't matter whether you do or don't. All right. If you're sure it's the real thing, my blessings, Steven. I'm sure. Now, wait a minute. You're not going to leave me with all this work, this subway deal, or maybe that combine is cracking down on me. I'm not through working for you. I'm just through carrying what you do outside of office hours. Oh, well, all right, fine. Mr. Dexter isn't in the office. He hasn't been in for almost a week. Have you tried calling Phyllis Walden? Hello, is Mr. Dexter there? This is Mr. Van Horn, his attorney. Will you please have him call me? He was in for a minute, but he's out again with that blonde. He's got to get this message. Tell him to be a general cement tomorrow at nine. There's a board meeting. Tell him they're going to close him out. There it is, Dexter. We're in. You're out. We gave you a chance to sell your company to us at a fair price. We're going to get that injunction the first thing tomorrow morning and tie your asses up tight. It's a technicality, a trick. I agree with the learned counsel. Nevertheless, we're doing it, Mr. Van Horn. That's all I think unless Dexter has something to say. Gentlemen, I can think of only one other honest man who found himself in a worse company, Alibaba. He had to deal with 40 thieves. I'm a little fellow. You're big. You had me come here so that you could prove to me that I'm cornered and outnumbered. Here, here. It would be wise to hand over here and now the business that my associates and I have worked to make. I would be smart and surrender. But I'm going to be foolish and fight. Come on, David. Think, will you? That's what I pay you for. How are we going to get out of this? I'm your lawyer, not a magician. I called you every day for a week. Well, that's not a hint of that. What are we going to do? Hello? Just a moment. William wants to see you, Stephen. Let him come in. Come in, William. Look, David, if they get that injunction, it means every cent I have. I know that. Mr. Dexter. Yes, William. Mr. Dexter. I heard about the combine and, well, I've got a financial proposition. I happen to have a couple of thousand dollars lying around and I thought I might take a little flyer in cement. Well, thank you, William. I may call on you any day now. Well, the cash won't be available for a week or so. I'll start negotiations immediately with a certain party. You mustn't mortgage anything, William. Oh, the party is my wife. She makes me put everything in her name. Can she do that, Mr. Van Horne? No, but it's sometimes a good idea for a man to have his property in his wife's name. It's a perfectly legitimate way to stop unscrupulous persons from... Hey, Stephen. What? Stephen, did you hear what I just said? I'm sure, but... Oh. Well, how wait? William, get out. Get out. Yes, sir. Certainly, sir. Stephen, it's the idea of the century. Is it? Stephen, you've got to get married. Married? It'll stop them cold. Are you sure? They can't tie up your money or your business if you haven't any. I'm going to have you put every last penny, every sack of cement, your house, the shirt on your back, and your wife's name. I haven't got a wife. Then you'll have to get one. You've got to be married today. I can't be married today. My friend, you've got to be. All right. Kendall. Yes? Kendall, get Phyllis Walden on the phone. Walden? Yes, get her. Very well. I'll run over to the bank and get things straightened out. Okay, and find out when the marriage license bureau closes. That's no good in New York. You have to wait three days. Three days? Mr. Walden, please. That's out. Let's see. The nearest state you can get married in right away is South Carolina. Hello, what? Kendall, find out when I can get a plane to South Carolina. Just a minute. You better come with me to the bank, Steve. Well, yeah. In a minute. I've got to speak to Phyllis. All right. Meet me there. There's a lot to do, so hurry. Yeah, right, right with you. Have you reached her yet? No, she isn't in. Oh, well, look, Kendall, I've got to leave this to you. Get hold of her and explain things. But be nice about it. You told me to keep out of it. This is business. Steven, are you sure it's good business? Yes. Is she ready for this? I don't know. If I've had two more weeks, one week. She loves you. I'm not asking her to love me yet, just to marry me. Just to marry you. Steven, to a woman, marriage is serious, sacred, no matter what she is. Never mind the sarcasm. You find her and deliver her to that plane. With a bill of lading? Get her. I can't drag her here by her phony eyelashes. Now, look, Kendall, you're a woman. Has that got wrong? You know how to talk to another woman. You know what to say to her and how to say it. Yes, yes, of course. I'll speak to her, Steven. Oh, fine. That's thanks, Kendall. I'll see you at the plane. See you at the plane. You have a message from Mr. Dexter? A very important message. Really? And what is it, please? Well, here's Dexter's proposition. He wants you to marry him tonight. He does? Well, I hardly know what to say. Yes or no, we'll do nicely. It isn't a very romantic way for Steven to propose, but well, I suppose he has a good reason. He has. Look, Walden, for certain financial reasons, it would be very convenient for Dexter to have a wife. In fact, he's got to get married. He's in a spot, eh? What a break for Blondie. Do I meet him at the old red mill at midnight? At the airport five o'clock. Oh, good. We're flying. Yes. To Chicago, I suppose. No, Charleston. How nice. I've never been married in Charleston. Do you think I'm a dope? I'm only telling you. Well, get this. When I do marry Steve and I'm going to, I'll keep you around for laughs. I love your lies. They're not good, but they're very, very funny. Thank you. This last one was a positive howl. It would have been so nice if you'd been able to say, Steve, that Walden number has a price tag, but I'm not that kind of a girl. Browning your button should be brass. Dexter just told me to tell you. Tell him I'd love to marry him tonight. But my true so is in the laundry. Thank you. I'll give him your answer. Sit down, Steve. Sit down. You're making me nervous as a bridegroom. Well, it's nearly time to take off. They won't hold this plane forever. Would you stop having pups? You know you can count on Kendall. Say, listen, have you known this Phyllis girl a long time? No. Why? Well, she could make it rather gruesome for you, Steve. I mean to say, after all, she'll have control of all your goods and chattels. She could refuse to hand them back if she turns out to be a stinker. Oh, she's all right. Don't worry. Look, there's Kendall, but I don't see Phyllis. She doesn't seem worried. What has she got to worry about? Hello. Well, where's Phyllis? Where is she? I couldn't get her to come. Not for love or money. What? You mustn't blame her, Steve. No woman wants to get married just as a favor. Well, it was a nice business while I had it. Had it? You've still got it, and you can keep it if you work fast. All you have to do is marry somebody. Fine. Just marry somebody. Anybody who can say I do will do. Just a formality. Needn't mean any more than having your hair sinned. Go away. Steve, we've got to get you a wife and in a hurry. Doesn't matter who she is. Of course, it would be better if she was some girl you could trust. Somebody like, well, Kendall even. Why, all she... Hey. Kendall. Sure. Why not? Kendall. Kendall, dear. Hello. What do you say, Kendall? Will you marry him? Kendall. Well, isn't this rather sudden? I mean. Kendall, it's, it's strictly business. It's just somebody to say I do. What do you say? Well, I do. After a brief intermission, Mr. DeMille and our stars William Fowle and Myrna Loy will bring us Act Two of Hired Wife. Hello, Mr. Rueick. Here we are again. Oh, bless my soul. Is this a convention? One, two, three, four, five, six. Six girls and all of them pretty. Well, if you've come to see me, I don't mind saying I feel flattered. Why, you remember us, Mr. Rueick? We represent Luxe toilet soap. Each of us is a symbol of one of its special qualities. Symbols, are you? Well, I'm glad to know. Yes. And now you're supposed to ask each of us which quality of Luxe soap we represent. It'll be a pleasure. Now begin by asking you first. Well, Mr. Rueick, I stand for Luxe toilet soap's mildness. You know, that means it's gentle enough, even for delicate skin. I represent Luxe toilet soap's purity. That means only the finest ingredients are used to make it. You're both right girls, but not too fast now. We really want to hear you. Let's give that little curly-haired girl there a chance. Luxe soap's whiteness, Mr. Rueick. That's what I stand for. Women love to use a soap that's so white and satiny smooth. Right, you certainly are. And now who's next on the list, girls? Me, Mr. Rueick. I represent Luxe soap's active lather. Active lather that removes every trace of dust, dirt, and stale cosmetics thoroughly. And this tall young lady on my right? I represent the lovely perfume Luxe toilet soap has. So nice and delicate. The perfume that makes Luxe soap such a grand bath soap, too. Every woman who uses Luxe toilet soap as a bath soap will agree with that. And now here's our last little girl. Will you tell us what quality of Luxe toilet soap you represent? Something very important these days, Mr. Rueick. I stand for Luxe soap's economy. It's thrifty to use because each cake is hard milled. And so it lasts and lasts. Thank you, girls, one and all. I wish our audience could see what lovely Luxe complexions you all have. You've done a grand job of telling us that Luxe soap has every quality of really fine toilet soap should have. No wonder it's the choice of nine out of ten lovely screen stars. No wonder pretty women everywhere say, this is the complexion soap for me. Well, thank you again, Luxe toilet soap girls. Good night. Good night, Mr. Rueick. Good night. We pause now for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. Two of hired wives, starring William Powell as Stephen Dexter and Myrna Loy as Kendall Browning. A plane to South Carolina, a flying visit to the justice, a plane back to New York, and the honeymoon is over. Time consumed, ten hours and forty minutes. Now the happy couple, looking very weary, has arrived at Stephen's house. David Van Horn is there to welcome them. Come on, David. Wake up. Wake up. So I'm sticking pins in him. David! Wake up. Oh, it's you. Congratulations. Thank you. Here's the marriage certificate. Let's see. I hope they don't look too hard at the date. They might have a collusion. I left some papers for you to sign. Transfer property to Kendall. Where do I sign? Right there. What does Kendall have to sign? Nothing tonight. Oh, I'm so sorry, Kendall. Keeping you up like this, I thought you'd be needed. It's all right. Well, now, I think we all rate a nightcap. Make mine buttermilk. Buttermilk? Yeah. There's always some in the icebox. I'll get it. David. David, you've had a tough day. You'll have a tougher one tomorrow. Better go home and get some sleep. Don't you want me to wait and give you a lift? No, thank you. I can get a taxi at the corner stand. Okay. See you tomorrow. Good night, Kendall. Night. Hello. Hello. Here's your buttermilk. Thanks. Where's David? He went home. He said he was tired. Oh. Well, here's mud in your eye. Boo. Healthy drink, buttermilk. Horribly healthy. You made me drink my first glass. Do. Yes, I guess I was born bossy. Well, I have slept better since I began drinking it, but I still don't like it. Do you? I love it. Well. Well, we have a lot to do tomorrow. Yes, yes, we have. So, well, good night, Stephen. Oh, wait a minute, Kendall. Yes, Stephen. You're a rare woman. You don't let people down. And I, thanks for marrying me. You're welcome. I'm sure. Oh, Stephen, I don't feel like kidding about this. It's nothing, of course. No more than the sort of thing I do every day, seeing people for you, signing your letters. But, but those kids we saw tonight, those two kids who got married just before us. Do you remember how she looked at him? Hey, are those tears? Yes. Do you mind? Kendall, look at me. No, Stephen, please, please, Stephen. You're very sweet, Kendall. Let me go, please. Why? You're my wife. I'm only the woman you married. And I'm a liar. Oh, I've known that for years. Right now, I don't seem to care. I'm not here because you want me. I'm just a substitute for the woman you really want. Phyllis Walden would be here if I had lied to her and to you. What? Well, now I've run out of lies. Then Phyllis did say yes. She said no, but I made her. She had to refuse the way I put your bid. Bid? You made Phyllis believe that I thought I could buy her? You treated her in my name as if she were cheap and nasty? Not cheap. Why? You... You contemptible, unscrupulous, double-crossing... Now, Stephen, remember you're a Yale man. You can't laugh your way out of this. All right, I started something and I couldn't finish it. But your business is safe at the time being and well, when you see your little goalie locked tomorrow, you can look her straight in the eye. She'll be amazed to learn that you have a conscience. It wasn't conscience. You would have found me out soon enough. Besides, I don't enjoy being kissed by a man who keeps his eyes closed. They're open now. Oh, Kendall, what am I going to do about you? What do you want to do, Stephen? Stop acting married. We are, you know. Don't take advantage of a technicality and stop looking at me like that and go home. But where am I? Will you please get out of my house? Your house. Oh, are you going to get tough with me, Browning? The name is Dexter, and I am. All right. If it's a fight you want, you got one. To a finish. And no hold barred. Will you please get out of here? Yes, but I'll be back. Never. Good night, Stephen. Wait. Kendall? Yes, Stephen. You're fired. Well, listen, I can explain the whole thing. I, no, Phyllis, Phyllis. Don't hang up on me, please. Look, Phyllis, it's true I'm married, but the whole thing was a mistake. I meant to marry you. Yes, I, I know it sounds silly. It's ridiculous. But listen, listen, Phyllis, she isn't even staying at my place. No. That's what I'm trying to tell you. She went home. What? Well, certainly not. Look, Phyllis, you meet me tonight, and I, oh, wait a minute. Yes? Mr. Van Hornet here, sir. Uh, yeah. Send him in. Yes, sir. Hello. Phyllis, look, you meet me somewhere tonight, and I'll tell you the whole story. What? Morning. Morning, Stephen, darling. Oh, wait a minute, Phyllis. What are you doing here? You're fired. Tell him, David. It's like this, Steve. Your wife has to be here. Hello, Phyllis. Look, Phyllis, I'm, I'm very busy, dear. I'll see you at the 41 Club. Yes, the 41 at eight o'clock. Right. Goodbye, dear. Now, what's all this about? Well, Steve, here are the facts. In a marriage, a legal marriage, where both interested parties hold themselves forth as being... David, please get to the point. I've got to go home and start packing. Why? You're going away? No, but your attorney advises me to move. Move where? To your house. My house. My house! Naturally, your house, your house. Would Kendall move into my house, my house? Why not? She's capable of anything. That'll go on your bill. Steve, you've hit some more heavy trouble. More? The combine smells a rat, so we've got to convince them that this marriage is on the level. We haven't a chance unless Kendall lives at your house until the storm blows over. Get the idea? I do, and I just like it heartily. The only way to do it? Who thought up this unsavory scheme? What's so revolting about having Kendall as your house guest? You don't have to act married, except when somebody's looking. But think of the position it puts me in. What about me? What'll I tell my husband? Well, not you. The good one. I'll marry next. It's up to you, Steve. Well, I advise you to grit your teeth and go through with it. No, it's ridiculous. Very well. Very well. If that's your attitude. See you in the bankruptcy court. Now, wait a minute, David. Wait a minute. Is this... Is this the only way? Absolutely. All right. I agree. But under protest. Thank you. That's the boy, Steve, and I'll tell you what you can do. If you're both so worried about your reputations, why don't you invite some respectable relative, cousin or an aunt or something to stay in the house and sort of, uh, referee, huh? All right. When can you move in? Who, me? Well, you got us into this thing. I'll expect you at the house tonight. Oh, why can't I learn to keep my mouth shut? Kendall. Here I am, Kendall. Oh, hello, Ferdy. Thanks for coming. You look beautiful, but where's the bridegroom? Well, he didn't come with me, Ferdy. I couldn't explain it to you on the phone, but, uh, you see, he's here already with another guest. You may know her, Phyllis Walden. Oh. A blonde? Yes. This year, anyway. On the second night of your wedding, he comes to our nightclub with a blonde. I will kill him. That wouldn't help, Ferdy. Then I will kill the blonde. Now you're talking. But no thanks. What do you want me to do? Well, I want you to keep her amused, just for a week or two. Maybe a month. Oh, I understand. Is she pretty? Yes, in a ghastly sort of way. There she is now over at that table. There was Stephen. Hmm. Not bad. Yes, I think I could disturb her a little. I want you to disturb her a lot. Will you do it, Ferdy? Well, for you, I will do anything. But, alas, I am not in a position financially. I'll take care of the finances. You take care of Phyllis. Come on. It's strictly a business proposition. Kendall Browning means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. You believe me? Stephen, forgive me for the way I am. I was very jealous. Of course. Hello there. So here's where you're hiding. Hello, Poppy. Say, what in the name of... Hello, Phyllis. So nice to see you. Stephen, what does this mean? Oh, Phyllis, this is Ferdinand Braganza. Miss Walden Ferdy. I am Charles. How do you do? Listen, Kendall. And this is Stephen. So, you are the man who married Kendall. Congratulations. Thank you. Kendall. Sit down, Ferdy. Sit down. Have you ordered dinner yet, Poppy? No, I haven't. Suppose we dance first. You and I. All right, Poppy. You young folks enjoy yourselves, will you? But certainly, certainly. Come on, Poppy. What are you going to do to me now? What's the matter, Poppy? Ferdy asked me to dance. You knew I'd be here. Now listen, Kendall. Darling, people are looking. We've got to be happily married, you know. Hold me tighter. Tighter, huh? All right. Oh, Stephen. You don't have to break my ribs. I'd like to break your neck. Why, Poppy? And stop calling me Poppy. $200, check. Rent of motor car, $40, check. One? Ferdy, what is this item? One cockatoo. Yeah, I bought it for Phyllis. A cockatoo. You know, a bird. I know what they are. But what I want to know is how you use them in making love. Phyllis says she likes one for a pet, so I give her the bird. Well, that's all right with me. But, Ferdy, $75 for one bird. Oh, it talks. For that money, it should read and write. Well, she thinks I'm a millionaire. Yes, and so do you. But I've got to pay these bills. What else have you done besides spend money? Oh, I progress. Yesterday, she insulted me. Tonight, she slapped my face. Tomorrow, who knows? Ferdy, that's Stephen. Get out of the garden. Oh, my hat, my hat. Hurry, Ferdy. Call me. Yes, yes, get out. I don't want Stephen to... Good evening. Oh, good night. You're leaving? Yes, I have to see you, somebody about or something. Good night, Mr. Dexter, and Mrs. Dexter. Good night, Ferdy. Good night. Must you entertain that fellow here? Why? Are you jealous? I like Ferdy. I'm sure you do. Nevertheless, I don't want him hanging around my house. Our house? I don't want him around. Very well, dear. Where are you going? I'm going out for a walk in our garden. You mind? Now, wait a minute. I want to talk to you. I'd rather not talk tonight, Stephen. Well, you're going to. Kendall, this thing has gone on long enough. I want a divorce. A divorce? Oh, then that means you've beaten the combine. Well, yes. Didn't Van Horn tell you? No. Good. Tonight, they gave up. Oh, Stephen, I'm very glad. Thank you, Kendall. Thank you. I appreciate your help. And I, uh... Well, I know this is short notice, but, uh, here. This is a ticket on the westbound plane. It's now 1022. Really? I've been wondering what time it was all evening. The plane leaves at midnight. Uh, there's a check in there, too. I want you to have a nice, long vacation, and, uh... Well, after you're through at Reno... Well, Reno isn't far from Los Angeles, and Los Angeles isn't far from Hawaii. And Hawaii isn't far from Australia. Hey! What are you doing? I'm tearing up the ticket. You see? I like being in the US. I like being Mrs. Stephen Dexter. Oh. Oh. Well, if you won't give me a divorce, I'll divorce you. On what grounds? My grounds just left. Verdi? Oh, that's comical. Ha, ha, ha. What was he doing here? Helping you with your homework? Excuse me, Stephen. Yoo-hoo! What's wrong down there? Go on, Steve. Ask Grandma. He was in the house all the time. Why don't you go to bed? I haven't had a night's sleep for a month. David, get me a divorce. You mind waiting till morning? How soon can I get one? Is Kendall willing? No, I'm not. If she fights, it may take years. Years? Five. Your best bet is to disappear and be given up for death. Of course, that's just a curb stone opinion. Good night. Jump that one, Stephen. So you like being Mrs. Steven Dexter, do you? Well, get away from me. Oh, no. You're my wife. A husband has a right to kiss his wife, hasn't he? It's in the law books. Get away! I'll show you. Let's go. I wish you'd make up your mind down there. David, how can I get rid of this woman? Well, not that way, old boy. Hey, I just thought of it. An annulment. How soon can you get me one? Oh, in a few weeks. Are you sure? It'll be a sin. We'll just have to show it's been no marriage to date. You can testify to that. Then start annulment proceedings tomorrow. Right. But might I suggest that you come up here, Steve, fairly soon? Well, jump that. How can I? Good night, Stephen. Oh, you're going now? Of course. I'll get them tomorrow morning. Will you drive me home? Oh, certainly I... No. I think it would be better if you took a taxi. I'm too tired to drive. I guess you'll be glad to sleep in your own room again. Oh, will I? Did you have a room with David? Oh, I mean... Of course you never did, but well, never do. Good night, Stephen. Good night. Steve, you worry me. Why? More coffee, David? No, Steve, I want to know what happened last night. You know what happened? I'm afraid I don't know everything. What are you talking about? Well, let's be honest, Steve, I could still get you that annulment. But now what am I going to say when the judge asks me where was your client on the night of May 4th? Last night? Well, you know where I was last night. I'm sorry to say I do, in your own room. Of course. I was in my own house, my own room, is that a crime? Certainly not. But Kendall can come into court and tell her story. What story? Kendall wasn't here, she went home early. Kendall went home. Last night? Last night. Oh, well, that's entirely different. You may consider the annulment in the bag. Thank you. I'll be right down. Who's that? That, my friend, is Kendall. Say, listen. Exactly how big a chump do you think I am? I ask you, Steve, is this playing the game? You told me she went home. She must have come back to get her clothes. Likely story. I tell you she left here last night. You don't believe me, ask yourself. I intend to. Good morning, David. I've already said good morning to Stevie. Oh, that is a lie. Why, Stevie? Listen, Kendall, you caused me enough trouble. Look at me. Where were you last night? Last night? Answer his question. Kendall, I want you to tell him exactly what you did last night. Exactly. I want you to tell him you went home and you stayed there. Oh. Oh, yes, dear. I went home and I stayed there. Is that all right? Thank you. I've heard enough. Good morning. David, wait a minute. I'm very disappointed in you. And that annulment is definitely out of the bag. Oh. What? Ah. Trump's back. In just a few minutes, Mr. DeMille and our stars, William Powell and Mernie Loy, will bring us act three of Hired Wife. Now, here are Mr. and Mrs. Smith. They're driving home from a weekend spent with the Browns. We certainly had a grand time, didn't we, Jim? Yeah, the Browns do things well, all right. Real luxury, I'd call it. I'll be glad to get home, though. Why, Jim, but I can't keep house and the style made Brown does. Maybe not so much style, but you do things mighty well just the same. And I'll say one thing. You know what kind of soap to buy for a man's bath. Never get that sissy stuff that won't give enough lather. Oh, ho. So that's why you acted a little glum this morning. Well, never mind, dear. We'll be home soon and I'll see that there's plenty of luck soap in the bathroom. Well, it is tough when a man doesn't have the right soap for his morning bath. Especially when it's so easy and so economical to supply him with the real luxury soap. One that gives a quick, rich, active lather, even in hard water. That's why luck's toilet soap makes that to hit as a bath soap, too. That active lather carries away perspiration in every trace of dust and dirt in Egypt. It leaves you feeling like a million. A man likes the way luck soap lathers fast and cleanses thoroughly. It doesn't get mushy or soft. Because you see, luck's toilet soap is hard milled into a firm, smooth, white cake that you can use right down to the last thin sliver. And it's nice to know that you can let the men in your family have the very finest in soaps and still be thrifty. Luck's toilet soap costs so little. Why not let everybody at your house use it as a delightful, satisfying bath soap, too? Make a note now to get three cakes of this fine white soap tomorrow. Now, after you, Mr. DeMille. Curtain rises on the third act of hired wife. Kendall enjoys being Mrs. Dexter and she's hanging on for dear life. In vain, Stephen tries to shake her off. He's asked her to come to his office to talk terms. Kendall is willing, but her terms are the same as ever. No divorce, no annulment, no Phyllis Walden for Stephen. But Kendall, why don't you be reasonable? This marriage is no good for either of us. I think it could be for both of us. You're not in love with me. That's the funny part. I am. And I'm not going to let you marry anybody else. All right. But I warn you, our marriage will be a thing of horror. You think Bluebeard was bad? I'll make him look perfect. Stephen, if I believed that, I'd quit right now. I'd sign back everything to you. Throw up my job. Let Phyllis have you. But I don't believe it, Stephen. I believe you love me. Once maybe, but not lately. You see these things I'm wearing? They're pants. And they're still a symbol of masculinity. A few men are left who do not like to be kicked in them. Especially by a lady punter. Steve, I've just been checking over these bills. Have you bought a cockatoo? Oh, I did. My old one died. One cockatoo charged to living expenses. Very peculiar. What are you doing, checking up on me? Oh, he starts to keep my income tax record straight. Yes? There's a gentleman to see you and Mrs. Dexter. He says it's personal and urgent and very serious. Who is he? He says he's a judge from South Carolina. Judge Peabody. Oh, show him in. Don't worry, he'll suffer for it. Morning. Come in, Judge Peabody. Good morning, Your Honor. Morning, ma'am. Morning, sir. I see you remember me. I sounded with good reason, Judge Peabody. Well, I might as well come right out to what I've got to take you. By all means. Now, mind you, it's not as bad as it sounds. But the fact is, Mr. and Mrs. Dexter, you aren't married. What? Why, Judge, you interest me strangely. Go on. Where do you see? One of the boys, Dr. Cotehouse, made a little mistake. Sort of forgot to renew my license. I thought he had, but a couple of days ago I found out different. So I've been marrying folks right and left with no more authority than a jaybird. Ha, ha, ha. Are you sure we didn't get in under the wire? Uh, when did your license expire? Four years ago last year. But I got a new license now, so I'm looking up all those folks and marrying them over right. I'm fixing to start with you. Uh, join hands, please. Oh, no, no, no. Some other time, thanks. This one's on me, sir. Oh, thank you, Judge, but I feel sure that Mrs. my wife, Miss Browning, will just jump at the chance to have a church wedding. Oh, yes. Oh, well, sir, you're the head of the family, so I bid you a very good day. Goodbye. Goodbye, Judge Peabody, and thank you. Thank you very much. Yes, not at all. Goodbye, sir. Goodbye, goodbye, Judge. Well, Miss Browning, I imagine that settles it. Hello? Who are you calling? What are you up to now? I'm being the efficient secretary. Hello, Hotel Mortimer. Kendall, I'm glad to find you here. Hello, Ferdy. Kendall, I need money. I'm busted again. Are you? What are you doing there? Cleaning up my desk. I should have done it weeks ago. Kendall, listen, I am madly in love. That's why I need the money. In love with who? My sweetheart, my Phyllis. Are you trying to tell me? Yes. She is going to marry with me. Has she said so? She said that we will be married, and that we will live happily forever after. But have you told her about yourself? Certainly. Everything? All at once? Oh, no. But I have begun to hint. Last night I told her I do not own two yachts. Only maybe one little one. She smiles so sweet. She'll laugh right out loud when you tell her where you got your courting money. That I will say for the honeymoon. You better tell her now. My husband is down easy. But Steven's not my husband. What did you say? Steven's not my husband. He never was. Then you mean that oh, he is free and she is in there? I will kill him. Phyllis, my sweet one. What is this? Phyllis, you must choose him or me. Who do you think you are breaking in here like this? Get out! Over your dead body I will get out. Since always, since time began and the world was young and damp and I was a bullfrog and you were a cowfrog. Phyllis, look, I can't honestly claim that my acquaintance with you dates back as far as his. But you know me, who I am, what I do. Phyllis, you ought yourself to find out a lot more about this fellow. He's rich, yes. But where does his money come from? I know all about that. Ferdy told me. Oh, you mind telling me? Not at all. It comes from the same place yours does. The men. Excuse me, Steve. Oh, what is it now? Well, I'm a bit dubious about this check, the rather big-ish hotel bill. Steve, do you use your suite at the Mortimer Hotel for business? My suite at the... I never lived at the... Let me see that. And here's a lot of other checks. $125, $100, $100, $150. To a party named Ferdinand Brachaza. You got a new tailor, Steve? No, I still get my clothes from... Forgive me, old check. So, you get your money from cement, do you? My cement. Ferdy, what does this mean? It means just what you think it means. These checks are signed by Kendall. Oh, Ferdy, taking money from this... That's what. The very flowers you gave me. Keep them there for me in a roundabout way. Mr. Dexter, your seconds will find me in my hotel until tomorrow. You, Kendall, you. My right hand with a knife in it. It was Ferdy's birthday. Most of it was a loan. I will pay back every penny at once. Can you? I'll go away. Your vial, your cheap. Cheap? Look at those checks. You'll get it back. You'll get everything back. Stephen, darling, I won't be much used to you in the awful. There are lots of things that she did. I simply couldn't do. I'm not clever the way you are, Ms. Browning. A smooth liar can make a fool out of me. Go on, just two words more and I'll lamb you one. Oh, I am, am I? Kendall, Kendall, no fighting. Phyllis, my sweet, think of your beautiful face. You take your hands off, fellas, you gold digger. I do not take that from you, you wife, Peter. That does it. I'll murder him. He's unconscious. Get him some water. I'm sorry, but he hit me first. Oh. Steve, wake up, dear. Where is he? Here. Get out of here, Ferdy. I hate you. Well, I loved you so, and I was so poor. Goodbye. I'm going to. I'm really going. I didn't land a contract. If my best bid wasn't good enough, well... Well, you can't blame a girl for trying. So long, Steve. It's horrible. Six years. What, Steve? Six years, I put up with her. Six long years, she bossed me, bullied me. Put it in there, pushed me that way, shoved me the other. I should have known she'd do anything to get her own way. I must be the biggest fool that ever lived. You? No, me. He wasn't the first man I ever saw the first who ever made love to me. Oh, I should have seen that he was a phony. Honest men just don't make love that well. They haven't had the practice. Six years. At least once a day she did something frightful to me. Why, I stood more from Kendall Browning than I'd stand from a woman I love. Him and his yacht and his parrot and his line. Oh, I hate him. Show me in all history a more vicious woman. Truth, honor, decency, her. They mean nothing to her. I knew men could be low, but not that low. She screams, she lies, she cheats. Ha-ha. But not anymore at my expense. I'd like to strangle him. I consider today the luckiest day in my life. Good to. Stephen, why are we going to stop hitting ourselves? I'm glad you said it first. Come on, if we hurry, we can still catch them. Ferdy! Kendall! Come back! This is Stephen Dexter again. And this time it's for keeps. Mind you, I'm not giving in. No, darling, that's my department. Stephen's thing I'm wearing, it's a skirt. No more bossing me around? From now on, your word is wrong. Oh, really? Kiss me. Yes, dear. Stephen, are you down there? I've just been thinking about that annulment. I said I've just been thinking. Who's that with you? Stephen! If you want that annulment, get up here. Stephen! All right. I resign. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Right now we add one more to the impressive total of hits that Bill Powell and Mena Loy have made here in the Lux Radio Theatre. Time for a bow, Bill and Mena. Thank you, Cecil. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. Our statistical department reports that you two have appeared together here as a team more often than any stars in Hollywood. Oh, you mean that Mena and I are the corn, beef and cabbage of the Lux Radio Theatre? No, Bill. The Champagne and Caviar. caviar I'm getting hungrier by the minute hungry that reminds me whatever happened to the thin man well there's been a little investigation into that over at MGM so trying to find out who done it or Bill and I done it with a little better grammar however it's called the shadow of the thin man Cecil you know I wonder why there's never been a famous woman detective I think most women are very good detective manner they look for the facts they they well that certainly applies when it comes to choosing the right soap as far as I'm concerned it means luck so I've used it for years that's a very sound deduction manner and luck soap has been proud of you for years too what are you planning here for next week Cecil next week bill it's hold back the dawn a neat trick you can do it it's a very neat trick bill in fact one of the finest pictures paramount or any studio in Hollywood has made this year hold back the dawn has just been released and next Monday night we'll have the same stars who appear on the screen Charles Boyer and Paulette Goddard it's a love story with a strange dramatic background and an exciting finish that hard-boiled critics and audiences alike have applauded so don't miss the first act curtain at the regular time I certainly won't Mr. DeMille I think it's a perfectly wonderful picture my husband produced it good night tonight so our sponsors the makers of Lux toilet soap join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux radio theater presents Charles Boyer and Paulette Goddard in hold back the this is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood William Powell and Merneloy appear tonight to the courtesy of Metro Golden Mayor Studios the picture hired wife was based on an original story by George Beck and produced by Universal Studios whose latest release was appointment for love heard in tonight's play where Arthur Q. Brian as Van Horn and Tory Carlton as Phyllis our music was directed by Louis Silver tune in next Monday to hear Charles Boyer and Paulette Goddard in hold back the dawn your announcer has been Melville rowing this is the Columbia broadcasting system