 Just like it says literally it's not for little kids, but it's also not for little kids who are little kids in their heads It's not for children. It's not for men who are in their fifties Who still experience life as a child who are still to some degree to a large degree or a minimal degree? Children immature they get they're easily upset They're easily affected by the outside world. They don't have a good good handle on their life They're dependent under the people and so on so it's not for kids physically and it's not for kids Psychologically either no matter what your physical age is completely irrelevant so What romantic love is? Romantic love despite it being known as an ideal. I think it is so misunderstood That is it is accurate to say that It is an unknown ideal Just because of the degree that it's deeply misunderstood. It's a deeply mature pursuit It's a fully rational endeavor as we'll explore in a minute It is a source of profound ecstasy or joy It is a response to our deepest values embodied in another person or multiple persons Is an expression of the best and highest within us and it is one of the greatest challenges You can ever undertake as a man or as a woman There's only one in here, but for any of you watching later on the internet's It's it's not easy. It's it's extremely difficult. I mean I mean that literally it is one of the This is the opposite claim and something I agree with wholeheartedly that it will be one of the If you ever undertake it one of the most challenging things you ever do and one of the most rewarding as a direct consequence Perhaps one of the best summaries of this concept of romantic love that I've ever seen is from Nathaniel Brandon And my favorite is here romantic love is a passionate spiritual emotional sexual attachment Between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person The biggest takeaway from this quote is that it's something that's global it encompasses Everything important that you can even name Off the top your head that would be related to this concept. It's all of it at once simultaneously in one condensed concept so To to visualize this or exemplify this you can think of the term personality, which is a pretty Broad concept and you could also think of the term a sense of life a sense of life would encompass Personality would be encompassed within a sense of life a sense of life would be Global it's a much it's an even broader term the personality It's how you approach everything in life not just how you interact with other people But how you experience your own life Internally without you inside yourself when you wake up in the morning why you get up Not just the fact they're getting up or how excited you are or how tired you are or whatever It's everything all at once in the same concept romantic love is like that. It's not of There are specific definitions to it, but even so it's very far-reaching Which is why this quote is so good To sum up romantic love is essentially the diametric opposite the exact opposite of everything you've ever been told in movies in the culture and religion in schools growing up government-run schools in Art and literature and everything if you want to know what it is a good place to start is looking at what you're told and Then the exact opposite of that To the tee so we've covered briefly what romantic love is not I mean the book covers it obviously a lot more in-depth We've covered world meant what romantic love is and now we're going to explore My top ten myths to consider for daily life things that you can apply I think pretty immediately Regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship or even close or whether it's even of interest to you I know a couple years ago for me. This would have been like Not even I was interested in going out who could have the chicks in the same night and that's it This would have been to me. Just like what why do I even care about this? I think by the end of the speech if you do happen to be one of these people this will really peak your interest I know when I read this book it was just a game-changer. I mean that in every sense possible Get it double entendre It's a myth number one Sexual exclusivity as a necessity. It's not true Sexual exclusivity meaning just being sexually exclusive with one individual person in monogamous relationship Hey does not necessarily result in mature romantic love. So If you get into a relationship and you start dating a woman and it's monogamous The idea that this would automatically result someday and you guys falling in love or something like that is just complete nonsense It is so far removed from an automatic process There are no words to describe it. It is not that it is the definition of you just think of in car terms as manual It's something you have to make conscious decisions at every point. It does not just automatically happen as Much as you've been told that Mature romantic love is possible in non-exclusive relationships I'm not claiming that this is good. This is common or that it will ever be common But I believe it's possible That's certainly the conclusion the author makes and it's something I happen to agree with and I haven't even experienced that But it does seem to make sense Despite what you've seen in movies how it can only be between one man one woman or I guess An homosexual relationships to you maybe But the idea that yeah, it has to be Just one to one. I don't think that's true And we'll get it to why in a second and Into really hit on that when people say that whether it's psychologists a psychiatrist a random blogger Someone who's just you know writing on the topic. I think they are over-simplifying an extremely complex topic There are a lot of nuances between two people two human beings that are capable of conceptual thought and it is in the topic If you've read the book you'll see even though it's not that long of a book the topic is immense It is really really deep. It is not easy to understand just with a click lance Even with a good understanding of psychology and a philosophy. It's not easy It's something that takes a lot of time and effort to understand the same way a male-female relationships in general I get this event with all these coaches here. You guys see is a big topic. This is a three-day event It's the 10th time we've done it and we'll keep doing it and there's still Year decades to go before I Mean if not ever that we fully fully fully completely definitively finally understand it in spite of the coaches you guys have seen who have fantastic understandings of this of This kind of that of dynamics