 And, you know, I was an alcoholic. Well, you're always an alcoholic. I'm sober now. But when it gets over, I've tried for years, but, you know, more than a year ago, you know, because I like that's recently, I had a couple of public things. Oh, great. Didn't know that couple of DUIs, not one, not one, two within six months. Like, are you kidding me? They wanted to send one more and they sent you to adult military. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So no, it was, you know, you make mistakes. Don't drink and drive. OK, please, ever. And, you know, those are some failures. And then you, you know, your kids have got to see this shit and it's on the news and all that stuff. And it's like, oh, God. But, you know, I guess to say it's another wake up call. I had been sober before that. And then just one day you slip and then you get behind the wheel. That's literally what had happened both times. Like slip like you had six months or a year. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, you have a relapse. And then I had I had solid time before that first one. And then you have a day and you're like, oh, the first one would make you drink. Oh, I'm triggered by everything. Well, that particular one, because, you know, you talk yourself into one. The one was I decided I want to change my sobriety date to New Year's Day. That's how dumb that type of thinking is, right? That's the alcoholic thinking. You the alcoholic will will plan and scheme, right? And so you start planning and scheming and thinking, how are you going to have that drink for what? Now, it goes back to the ADHD and the ADD because you need to suppress the thing that's going on. Like you feel a bit out of control, so you want to control it. So you typically control it with a substance, right? Like maybe I can put this in line or also feel like it's less whatever, racy. And so, yeah, you make those types of decisions for that reason. When I hear you talk about that your alcoholism, codependence, so my problem is what kind of standard of behavior can I hold a drug addict or an alcoholic to? A sobriety is the only standard. But inner personally, to their behavior. Yeah. Oh, you can't do anything. No, I'm saying how should I react? I should I react with compassion? Yes. Yeah. You could you could say, I see you're struggling. Do you want to talk about it? That's all you can do. They're late. They're there. And I'm not saying because they're actually drinking. They're just some alcoholic behavior. Yeah, alcoholic behavior. My it's over 25 years. I've big I've figured out how to do it. But it's not easy. Meaning when I say it, I mean, hold the alcoholic or drug out to a standard. They hate it. They plead how it's not fair, how it's wrong. That, you know, all the all the alcoholics and mental illness excuses and it's kind of like, I don't. That it's kind of not my problem. It's not your problem at all. Yeah, it's their problem. If it affects your life, then it's your problem. And they're your problem. And then you have to just let them go. If especially it becomes toxic or, you know, like that. If you hold them to a standard because you had to have a lunch date is one thing. Or if you're they're working for you, then it's like you get this third strike. You're you're done here and I wanted to keep you on. But this doesn't work. I've had to get rid of some people in my life that are toxic. And it's like, oh, I've known you for almost 30 years. But you know what? You're kind of shitty. So yeah, no. Have people let you go and you've been like, I'm sure. I'm sure. There are some there are some friendships that I'm that are a mystery to me that aren't continued. And I'm I've always been like, what what did I do? And this goes back to possibly the impulsivity or the co-dependence, which is an insistence that we're friends in a certain particular way. And a lot of people like I that's not a that's not the way I interact, have interpersonal relationships. So but if you have this co-dependence, which sometimes is triggered by the ADHD is because if you're not quite sure of yourself because of ADD, like is this this is not a line? Is that out of line? Then I'm checking with you, which makes you have to then be my guardrail or just what you're talking about. Like, what is your responsibility to this person's crazy mind and how you had to deal with and help him navigate the water? It's like, dude, you got your own boat. Maybe you should get out of the water. Yeah. So that those things invade on every level, too. You know, check this this checking in this checking in. Well, it's checking in with the sick person. Yeah. For it's going to the problem for the solution. Right. Although I will say, I have told my kids if there's one thing I would have redone, it's I never would have taken a drink. My life would have been much different. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I'd be much happier had I never done that. Happier today if you'd never drank. Yeah. But you haven't drunk in a year. Oh, I'm happy. Me, right. But I can't be with my yeah, unbridled. Yeah, you're the 20 lane highway. Yeah, but the you know, you're you're you're really limiting your the possibility of your happiness during all those years of drinking. 50 years for a first time I got drunk the first time at 10. Yeah. Yeah. And they went on for 50 fucking years. I didn't know. I don't recall you being a drunk when we worked together. Well, no, no, I mean, it was always manageable. I wouldn't be drunk at work. Yeah. No, never worked. You didn't even seem hungover. You just seem like, yeah, well, even like you played a good drunk. Like we do like, look, so yeah, you never struck me as drunk. But no, no, not at work, you know. No, yeah, I got it. But I just you didn't look puffy or whatever. So there'd be spells I could go. I would be able to go for six, eight months and not not drink because I'd be determined like this is in my way. Let me let me put this down and I'll just get straight. And but I wasn't in progress. Do you have a ton of regret, missed opportunities, things like that, based around drinking? And how did you handle? How do you handle the shame and the regret? You just don't like that. You have to look past it. It's it's over. I didn't hurt anybody except myself. Yeah, you know, and I'm sure it's, you know, hurt me. Workwise, but I'm sober now. And but so, yeah, and things like that. And just where you could have been better or sharper or whatever. Or, you know, there was one show I was on and it was. It was when my marriage was falling apart and it was pretty obvious like you've got something going on there, big boy. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, it's, you know, here's the thing. It's not it's never going to help you. No, socially it makes people feel less anxious. OK, I get it. So does box breathing, you know, so do that. Yeah, it's not the most. It's hard to box, breathe and catch up. I'll say that at a party. I've tried it. People didn't love it. I'm saying before you go to the party, whatever, but you don't need to escape your present moment. What your your desire is to be present. And so don't run away from it. Just get there, stay there. People don't know that their desires to be present. No, they don't. They don't, they there's just it's not what we're trained to do. Right. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah, did you like it, though? You want more? Don't want to work? Would rather watch videos of me grab acid with people. First, I'll go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips. This is like when the weatherman says there's a high pressure system coming in. I'm not really used to the green screen.