 Maradjunk még a fegyelemnél a fegyelmezésnél, sokan vájdnak a szelén szok során, a non-korporális nem-testi büntetéste is például a sarokbaállásra, vagy amerikában például a száj szabbanozására, ha csúnyán beszélnek, de vannak országok, ahol a talp fenyítése a falaka hódít, vagy a kéz, tózzal, skócijal való büntetése az angolszáz kultúrában, de említhetjük Magyarországon, akkorában népszerű büntetést a kukaricán térdepelést, vagy bizonyos szavak sorok ismételt leíratását. Ilyenkor a megbüntetett narcistikus átszellemülés újra egy kisgyermek kéválik. Igaz, hogy ezt csak ritkán és rövid ideig működik nálad, de ilyenkor elszenvedi a büntetést. Ez egy fajta katardzist jelent a számára. Ha ezt megéli bizonyos időszakonként, akkor tud egy darabig normálisan működni otthon a családgyában. Az elmondászok alapján óriási szégyen érzett követi ezeket a széánszokat, amikkel nagyon nehéz megküzdenünk. Te mit gondolsz elről szem? If I kill you, maybe I will be ashamed, but I will not be ashamed that I killed you. I will be ashamed that I was so weak that I killed you. It's the helplessness that creates shame. So the child is super helpless, a child that becomes a narcissist. Super helpless. When you bring him back, regress him to that phase, all the shame erupts. The same emotions. These are shemas. Shema is cognition, emotion, belief together. You can't just feel emotion. Everything comes back together. So this is known as trigger. This kind of discipline is triggering. It's a form of control triggering. You trigger the narcissist to regress the child and to experience all the feelings during that period. And no, it's not cathartic and doesn't have beneficial effects in my view. I'm pretty much against this because this is really playing with fire. The narcissist created narcissism for good reason. His childhood was threatening, very dangerous. In effect, this is kind of cold therapy, in effect. Re-traumatizing the narcissist in a mini way. And taking back to childhood with all the emotions that are coming and so on. But in the wrong hands or it could go out of control. This is dangerous again. About the reason why does do it. Why to do it? Why the narcissist does it? This is way of experiencing the same like the spanking. It's a way of re-experiencing love, intimacy through pain. But it's a dangerous way. Dangerous way to experience it. It looks less dangerous than spanking, but it's not true. It's much more dangerous. A BDSM kocsin tanulmányaim során azt tanultam, hogy a BDSM széánszoknak is van egy hormonális utolhatása ugyanúgy mint bármilyen más tudatmódosító szernek, például a drognak. Van egy rövid távuhatása, amikor közvetenül a széánsz után leesik a megemelkedett hormonszint, és van egy 24-72 órán belül jelentkező hormonális hatás, az úgynevezet subdrop, subdepi, amikor a hormonszint nagyon alacsony és vissza kell rendeződni a normális szintre. Ilyenkor a szervezet a depresszió és a szégyen állapotában van. A nárcisztikus általában a szégyene megélésekor térre magányra vágyik és elidegenedik, talán kisei antisociálisan is viselkedik. Ilyenkor nagyon mizailik le az elmélyében. Hogyan viselkedik ezekben az időszakokban az intimpartnerével. Tapasztalataim szerint ilyenkor megfogadják, hogy soha többet nem mennek a széánszra, azonban, mivel ez is egy függőségi ciklus, egy idő után újra elkezdődik ez a sóvárgás, majd az acting out. Ha a nárcisztikus ezeket van a saját, akik a tességeket kérdezik és a kérem tességek, és az a kéremtől a másik képestetetek, és a kéremtől a kéremtől a kéremtől, az ember, csak amiket a kéremtől van. Tartaláltak a kéremében, amiket a kéremtől van, és az a kéremtől van, amiket a kéremtől van, A teljesedéseből nem felejtésemésre, őszor, hogy azon a legtöbb szépen hagydhagyogatni. Szóval ez nem felejtés. Azt mondta, hogy azok. One way or another. Even when mother was nice, and so on, so forth, the contrast with other behavior was painful. So there's no interaction that the analysis had with his mother was not painful. So they try to recapture the love and intimacy, which was oceanic love and intimacy, because mother's love is infinite and conditional, not like other woman's love is. cleanse. Total love, infinite love. So he tries to recapture this. He thinks primitively, he thinks like this. If love and intimacy when I was a child were connected to pain maybe if I will experience pain I will experience love and intimacy, like reverse engineering. If A lead to B maybe B will lead to A reverse engineering, so he tries to reverse engineer the process. As we said, when he regresses to these stages via submissions and so on, he also experiences all the emotions which were connected to these stages, they come up, and the most dominant one was probably shame at his helplessness, a lot of anger at the parent, but this anger could not be felt. The children are not allowed to be angry at the parent, so instead this anger was internalized, he did not allow himself to externalize his anger to the abusive parent, he internalized the anger. Of course internalized anger is a good definition of depression, so the child was depressive on the one hand and on the other hand experienced severe shame because he was not able to help himself, he was helpless. And these emotions come up during submission, discipline and so on. This is why extremely few narcissists, if any, are subs because in the general population, in general population, actually majority are subs. In the 15% of population in the United States which practice BDSM, majority are subs, not dons, dons are pretty few. But in narcissism is exactly opposite. Majority are dons, extremely few are subs because to be sub is life threatening, is to experience such extreme shame and such extreme depression that could easily lead to suicidal ideation and so on. At that point the narcissist needs to isolate himself and you can ask yourself why. Because of the risk that he will not be able to obtain narcissistic supply. He is anyhow in very bad shape, he is experiencing shame, he is experiencing depression. If he also goes out to the world and he is rejected and cannot obtain supply, he will then die, he will commit suicide. He knows it, so he is removing the only source of anxiety and only source of collapse and failure. He is removing that by isolating himself so that he can cope somehow with the shame and depression. Paradoxically or ironically or whatever, after some period of isolation, schizoid phase, the narcissist then wakes up and seeks narcissistic supply, needs supply so he goes out. So narcissists of these cycles, they experience shame and humiliation, especially those who practice submission or involved in discipline. They experience shame and humiliation, then they withdraw, avoid them, they become schizoid, but then they become super social, gregarious it's called. They become super social because they play the numbers game, they meet millions of people in order to find some source, some supply. And that goes for the somatic as well. The somatic experiences shame and humiliation, isolates himself and then he goes out and then he simultaneously sleeps with 28 women. And we have these periods of hunger and gluttony, abstinence and inserable and in somatic, very dysregulated. And by lot of narcissists tells us that have a nice childhood, beautiful childhood. No narcissists have a beautiful childhood, no such thing, simply no such thing. What they identify as beautiful childhood was very abusive. So I explained yesterday for example a mother who spoils her child is abusing him. A mother who expects great things from her child is abusing him. A mother who forces her child to realize the mother's unfulfilled dreams is abusing her child. These are all forms of abuse, but the child will not experience it as abuse. A child will experience it. I was my mother's favorite child. I was the golden child. I was always loved. It's not true. It's instrumentalization of the child. It's objectification of the child. It's using the child for the parent's gratification. It's not allowing the child to separate from the parent. And indeed these kind of parents are abnormally involved in the life of the child. And after that as adult. And they also blackmailed the child as adult. So they would force the child to visit them, to take care of them. And the child has symbiotic symbiosis with such parents until they die or he dies. And partners of such narcissists find it extremely difficult. It's actually married to his mother. And so the relationship looks close and warm and loving and empathic, but actually it's very, very sick. Very abusive. Very sick. The child is not allowed to separate, to become individual. Mother, good mother has only one role to push the child away. Nothing else. Not education, not love. This is all very important, but number two. Her main role, mother, good mother main role is to stop being a mother. To push the child, to start his own life without her separately as individual. And then to make the choice if he wants to stay in touch or not. And many, many mothers find it extremely difficult. When the child separates, every time he separates, they are in total depression, they are in hysteria. And they sometimes unconsciously or subliminally or subtly sending signals. Come back to me, come back to me, don't go away. So for example they would continue to make laundry for him. It's a subtle signal, you need me, I'm in your life, I will never leave you. It's a signal. Or they can tell the child, why do you need to rent an apartment? Of course, stay here, I'll give you a room. You have your key, you have your stairs, I will not bother you. You can do anything you want, but stay here. These are all ways of keeping the child as host. And of course such a child will say what a wonderful mother I have. See what a wonderful mother I have? What are you talking about? I had bad childhood never. My mother loved me more than anything in the world. To this very day she makes laundry. To this very day she makes my food. To this very day she cleans my room. I mean what bigger love than this can be. It's totally sick. It's pathological, it's abuse.