 So we're gonna have a talk about augmented hilarity with and with Anna Lydia and scary. Thank you very much Hi, everybody. Thank you for coming This isn't a talk. Sorry if you came for a talk. We are here to tell you some jokes About science and tech and nerdy things is that all right Amazing so this is how tonight's gonna work. Um, my name is Anna. I'm a material scientist I'll show you my full name just for the full branding effect. This is my full name Anna Pajaiski If you're wondering about the spelling of that, you're exactly right. Anna is a palindrome Guys welcome to the gig where palindrome is a punchline Um We're we're here to tell you some jokes about science and tech and nerdy stuff. Um, as I said, my name is Anna Pajaiski I'm a materials scientist. Okay. I've got a PhD and building power systems for hydrogen powered cars Can I get an ooh? University College London, which is the only city in the UK where everyone gets around by tube Which basically renders my PhD about as useful as most of the consonants in my surname Um, I have a PhD in fact I'm very I'm very proud of this fact and the reason I did a PhD was the same reason that anyone ever does a PhD Which is to be able to call yourself doctor at the end of it So now like whenever anyone calls me up and they're like is that miss or misses I'm like actually it's doctor Yeah, I Get letters through the post and they're addressed to miss Anna Pajaiski and I'm like no return to sender that person is dead They do not exist anymore I mean got very confusing during the World Cup because I would be watching the football and the commentator would be like Ah, he shoots he misses. I would like actually it's doctor Yeah The reason I'm so proud of using my PhD credentials Is that I had to sort of wade through a steaming pile of patriarchy for four years in order to be able to call myself doctor And and this was mainly due to one particular person who are going to call dickhead Dave okay, and Dickhead Dave one of the first things that dickhead Dave ever said to me Right when my first day in the lab was you're blatantly only here because of the size of your boobs Right Wow Which is obviously false because having boobs in a lab is very detrimental to doing Experiments as I would like to find out right because you'd be walking around and then like suddenly magnetic objects We'll just stick to your underwear like So you'd be trying to do an exponent and then like a clamp stand would be over here Sticking just up. It's very difficult to do experiments as someone that wears a bra and a lab And so he wasn't wrong on that front But he was wrong on the front that women can't do science. Okay, and then him and his two little cronies, right? Twat face Tim and misogynist Mike They um, they really They really kind of isolated me from everybody at work, right? So it got it got so bad that I decided to redownload an old version of Microsoft Office 97 Just so that I could chat to clippy the office assistant So Me and clippy we did our PhDs together in our lonely little spot in the lab, but one day I Got an email from my lab supervisor right my industrial sponsor who who worked elsewhere Saying would you like to come and work with us at the NASA Kennedy Space Center in Florida? right And so I was like, okay. We're applying an email And I said dear professor supervisor and then clippy was immediately like hey, it looks like you're writing a letter And I was like not now clippy I mean you have to concentrate Dear professor supervisor and I read with interest your invitation to come and work at the NASA Kennedy Space Center in Florida Have one outstanding question Which is how soon can you get me out of this shithole? Your's somewhat desperately Anna Pojajski PS, please note the spelling And a few weeks later. I was touching down in Orlando, Florida. Now. I've never been anywhere like Orlando, Florida Okay, and my family holidays growing up were less orange County more orange squash If you know what I mean less Bahamas more pajamas And so I was very excited to be there and the people I was going to be working with right there were three women Okay, imagine that a whole lab Full of people of only one gender Can't even imagine what that would look like I can it's every lab So so there was Olivia Who was the lab tech right and we got along really really well because we were similar age and we bonded over our mutual love of the spice girls There was Gigi who's a research scientist and she said nothing the entire time that I was there I think because she was terrified of our boss whose name was formidable Allison Okay And the best way that I can describe formidable Allison is like the Margaret Thatcher of chemistry Except with more American isms and less sex appeal I Ward yourself a bonus nerd point if you laughed at that joke because Margaret Thatcher is the Margaret Thatcher of chemistry Having studied at our university And so anyway, I was there for three weeks right and on my first day Olivia gave me a tour and She showed me these like beautiful spotless labs right which were the polar opposite of the horrible dirty physics dungeon That I was used to back in London And and on my tour. She she showed me this massive coffee machine that they had right and I was like, oh, that's a nice coffee machine Where's the kettle And she looked at me like completely blank face and was like kettle What's that like for tea? You British are just like the Queen America is such a foreign country sometimes And on my second day I got a tour of NASA's biology labs Right, and this was this enormous room probably like four times the size of this tent and there were these huge aluminium sorry aluminum Chambers and in all of these chambers you could control like everything temperature humidity the colour of the light And they were doing plant experiments in these chambers And in the first one they were shaking these plants around like vibrating them And the guide said that they were doing this to see how big the plants would grow given the trauma of space flight I was like mate if you want trauma just go and spend five minutes in the physics dungeon Therapy for life And in another one of these chambers all the lights were off. Okay, but we peered in through the little window And I shit you not. This is a real thing that happened to me at NASA We peered in through the window and there was an octopus in a tank of water And the guide slammed the door shut and said you didn't see that I think I might have seen the next president of the United States Being grown in a lab in NASA and I think it's going to get much better from here on in Life in Florida was amazing. Okay, there was incredible wildlife. I would see dolphins on my way to work My experiments were working. What that never happens my experiments were working. Yes And I was even starting to Crack for medieval Allison Or when I say crack for me to listen I really mean that now whenever we walked into the lab together Instead of letting the door slam back in my face. She would actually hold it open for me like a normal person Um, so that was all rather nice. Um and but As the days kind of went into weeks Those familiar feelings of loneliness that I was used to kind of started to creep back in because my only friend out There was Olivia the lab tech And she had her own life going on. So she said Maybe she realized that wasn't actually baby spice after all Um, I got so lonely that one evening I took myself off to go and watch 50 shades of gray on my own at the cinema guys 50 shades of gray was not the documentary about steel alloys that I was expecting I scarred for life One weekend I went to the nasa kennedy space center visitor center where they keep all their old rockets and space shuttles and stuff and um There is no sadder sight right than a grown woman in her 20s going like this In front of a photograph of a rocket taking off while a professional photographer takes her photo on her own Um, I also I bought a mug from the nasa gift shop, right? I took it back to my apartment and I drank shit tea avi which I boiled on the hob because nowhere in america has a kettle um Towards the end of my stay in nasa um, we decided to Skype with the scientists back in the uk to tell them our results and um during this Skype conversation they told us that actually they'd done some more calculations and now our goal posts For our work in the us had shifted Now I had to translate this for formidable allison and tell her that the hoops had moved Or however the fuck basketball works No idea But all too soon I was back on the flight to london and I was back in the lab On the monday morning now i've had to stop calling it the dungeon lab Because 50 shades has given me some very confusing feelings about dungeons But here was I right I might have been a woman in science But I was a woman in science that just worked at nasa So I was feeling kind of confident like I don't have to be bullied by you guys anymore dickhead dave et al um science joke for you guys That went really well Uh, and that's always feeling all good about myself Um dickhead dave smashed my nasa mug as soon as I got back and bullied me for the next four years until I got my phd and left But I did get it, which is the main thing Um, so how long have we going on for right? I'm going to introduce to you our next act. Um, they are a Incredible physicist an incredible performer of all sorts of different ways of Communicating physics, which is the hardest one to communicate I reckon um, so Please give them an extremely warm welcome. Please welcome to the stage a scary boots Hello, is this thing on good good Yes, my name is scary. Yes, that's an adjective. Yes, like scary spice. Yes like scary movie Yes, we all live through the 90s apart from those of us who didn't hello Um, uh, so yeah, don't don't get worked up about having a weird name. It's okay. Just call me that So today I thought I would ruin romance for you. Um through the medium of science and technology Uh, so what is more romantic than the diamonds diamonds symbols of love Diamonds because they're so scarce and rare like proper proper interaction and connection with a human being But you can make your own diamonds in a way you cannot make your own love with explosions So, uh, this this is how the soviets made diamonds. You can make nano diamonds, which I'm currently paid to study nano science So I'm contractually obliged to say that that is the best kind of diamond You can make them with a load of tnt and as the blast front pushes out It crushes the carbon That's in the environment between the blast front in the air and you get five nanometer nano diamonds Which is cool. Um, but you know, whatever mythbusters may have taught us Maybe explosions aren't always the solution Maybe not every relationship should start with a bang Maybe some relationship should be allowed to grow Because you can grow diamonds in a lab, right? You've just got to get carbon and put it under the right temperature and pressure You can get carbon from anywhere, you know, like soot barbecues dead pets And uh, and if you keep that at the right temperature and pressure you can grow a diamond And that's a bit of a problem if you're a diamond company because somehow suddenly people can make the thing that you sell Really cheaply So they're trying to convince us that only mine diamonds really truly express love Because there's nothing like being kept underground at high pressure for millions of years And then dug up and polished so you can be a better status symbol That's there's nothing like that that represents a relationship um, actually my relationship is uh, much more like lab grown diamonds in that I constantly monitor it, um and make graphs but That's my partner over there. Um, he likes the graphs too But uh, where was I going with this? Yes, we constantly monitor it and make graphs so, um Yes, but diamonds they are also hard and they endure Also, we want that in a relationship, don't we but diamonds can be shattered with hammers They can be burnt with blow torches You can burn diamonds if you just get enough oxygen to that diamond Antoine Lavoisier in the 1700s Managed to burn diamonds with just a magnifying glass the power of the sun and a tank of liquid oxygen So if you've got a wedding ring You don't want anymore or a relationship that you'd like to take out back and shoot in the head That's your next weekend's project Um, I don't know diamonds, uh, they also have a reputation uh for being forever um, but actually like I said, it's just carbon atoms and carbon like everything else in the universe is bloody lazy And if you leave carbon long enough, it'll form The least energetic phase it can which is graphite what you get in pencil leads So your token of eternal love that you'll forever love them give it a couple of million years That'll just be a big pencil lead on your finger Um, and forever is a shorter time than it used to be. I'm just saying Um, according to Marilyn Monroe diamonds are friendly and I would contest this um, I mean in some places diamonds are used to fuel war and pay child soldiers Which I guess lets those children get out and meet new people So like maybe a bit friendly and uh diamonds are transparent in infrared So you can see your friends heat signatures through them and be like hey And uh, that's why they use them on the noses of heat seeking missiles So as they come bouncing over to you like over enthusiastic explosive metal puppies To say hello the last thing you see is a diamond. So yeah, it's kind of friendly. Yeah, I'll give it a half score. Um, but yeah Overall, I think diamonds are not the romantic implements. They have been made out to be but you're all geeks You're thinking well, I never fell for that consumerist conformist rubbish. Anyway, I believe in proper romance I believe in intimate personal relationships. So I'm going to ruin that too um Because I want to tell you a story about a really cute story that's been going around since it was first told on radio Lab about um, do we know the voyage of probes? I know you do like I mean if you've seen his if you've seen what he looks like that's funny if not check him out later. Um, so Not like that. Oh god. Sorry adam So voyage of probes furthest things from human furthest things from earth Voyager one is currently 13.3 billion miles away from the sun It's beyond the influence of the solar system now it's going out into space and on that we placed a mix tape Um because nath are in the 70s Um, and we made a gold record gold. So it doesn't tarnish in space. It's not that we just wanted to flash the cash Um, and and we we got Carl Sagan to work on making this mix tape. Do we know Carl Sagan? Okay, good because otherwise this story was going to be a bit weird not going to lie um So Carl Sagan uh was the director on this project and there was also a woman called andrion who is the creative director And they were working to put together With some other people a disc that would represent the entirety of life on earth And it looked like this and they were putting together sounds and pictures, you know languages of earth from ancient akkadian to English and uh, you know the sentiment of a mother's kiss and all sorts of things um and This is an example of some of the content that they put on I don't really know what this picture is supposed to represent. I think on the left. It's a woman hybridizing with an ice cream On the middle. It's a man exploring to a royal geometry with his teeth And on the right hand side. It's someone who's learned to drink exclusively through ikea instruction books Um, so I don't know what the world is going to make of that when they find it So we put this sort of thing on and an and Carl They're trying to find the last piece of music that they need to go on this disc and represent earth represent us to anybody Who's listening and they're looking for a piece of chinese music and and finds it She finds the perfect thing and she calls Carl and says something like hi Carl I found the perfect thing and leaves a message on a voicemail and then Carl calls her back And and she doesn't she doesn't tell us what happened during that conversation because she's got a right to privacy Um, but in that 90 minutes they start off as colleagues and they end up engaged And they fell in love while making a mixtape for the universe And people say this is so obvious. Oh, it's so unbounded bloody stupid is what it is It's inadequately researched I took longer choosing my vacuum cleaner than that Did they even read the reviews did they check if their ports were compatible called themselves researchers? I I am shocked but um That's not that's not the worst thing about this. Um, uh, the worst thing about this Did she even know if his breath smelled? That would be an issue right if you've gotten engaged to someone before you've even like kissed them. Um, but That's not the worst thing. The worst thing is he's already married At this point. He's got a seven-year-old son And yeah, I'm not old-fashioned enough to think that marriages should only be between two people But I do think that you should tell other people before you invite them into the marriage and get everybody's agreement on that Marriages are like showers. You should know everyone who's in one with you. Otherwise it gets creepy That's not that's not even the worst bit right so, um Uh, they record the brainwaves of this woman the next day and she's thinking about the fact that she's met the man She's gonna fall in love with she's gonna marry him even though he's already married. Um, and these brainwaves get recorded and sent into space So we've sent into space this picture and a woman going Yeah, sure. Man 90 minutes of talk. That's fine. That seems like a basis to like correct my life based on So what message are the aliens going to take from this? They're going to be like these humans They have this wonderful art this wonderful culture and 90 minutes of sweet talk and they're anybody's They're going to come on over and we're going to be screwed Um, but that's not that's not the best bit about this Um, because the wife he already had you know the one who was living at home and looking after their son while He was working on this wonderful project. Um, he actually met her while working on the first project we made to send out culturally Neutral values to represent earth to aliens So that's uh, this one the pioneer plaque and uh, his wife at the time linda She was the one who drew this picture with him So I think we have to ask was working on disks to communicate the the essence of humanity to aliens Was that Carl Sagan's kink? Is that I don't know is that a recognized fetish? Mmm, baby took culturally neutral to me. Mmm. Can you say that in binary? Um, so, uh, linda linda The his artist wife. Um, she drew the picture on the right hand side and you'll notice there's a few weird things about this picture One, uh, the woman's sort of kind of barbie style Now labia come in all shapes and sizes But there's no labia on earth that you can't see the cleft between them And that's because it was censored. It's not it's not linda's choice So we sent a drawing of ourselves naked, but we didn't want to show the lady parts because that would be too much You'll also note that there's no hair on any of these bodies Because aliens are really upset by body hair You know, you know the grays you see the pictures of the gray aliens with the big heads and the big eyes They've not got any hair not because that's how they uh, that's how they exist. It's just that they do a lot of waxing So we didn't want to upset them. Um, but the other thing that we included is this kind of Star-shaped thing on the left, which is a map of where earth is With in relation to stars that give out pulses, which we call pulsars because astronomers believe in very literal naming and this says basically the frequency at which they pulse and how far away they are and This is a map that we thought in 1970 would be a really good way of directing people to you know come on over But we've since discovered this is a map of 13 14 pulsars We thought they were quite rare, but actually it turns out there's a billion of them in the galaxy And quite a lot of them have the same frequency So, uh, we've actually just said come on over We live kind of near here And one of them we actually got the location wrong Um, so this is kind of equivalent to being like hey, I live on earth come find me from my window I can see three trees One is 15 ish meters tall Um, so I think we need to uh, so this we blasted off into space linda linda blasted off Sorry confused Carl Sagan's first wife was also on the project which featured the brainwaves of the woman He'd just left her for thinking about how happy she was to have hooked up with Carl And this woman she must have been a champion because she just sent it off into space I think she probably enjoyed seeing that record blasted off into space Um, I think it's a tribute to her that she didn't blast it into the sun, frankly Um, but we sent it off. So we sent off something that got our address wrong drew our genitals wrong And featured us going hey man, we're up for it So I think aliens are going to come over here. They're going to be quite exasperated By the time they get here because they'll have had to check a billion stars on the way And they're going to get here and they'll you know, there's a lot of signals being beamed around the planet And uh, hopefully quite a lot of these feature naked ladies So it'll be really easy for people to you know compare and contrast the diagram And they'll see that and they'll get here and they'll be like Bloody species they can't even figure out where they live or what their genitals look like I cannot be bothered. I'm going home Uh, so yeah, don't bother with diamonds. Don't bother with the weird quirk of making, uh, space discs with your lovely. Um Maybe maybe seek solace in friendship I've just destroyed romance. I'm scary next act is up Excellent I'm going to introduce to you our next act straight away. Is that all right? Start the applause My name is is lydia nicolas and and I'm an anthropologist For me, it started very young I grew up in an area with a lot of different cultures Uh, there were lots of different perspectives on the same kinds of problems And I saw that that with these different worldviews you could come to a different sort of uh, sort of understanding and different kinds of solutions Uh, from that soft stuff. I I got into vikings at a very young age Tragic really and I moved I moved from the easy things the myths the legends into the legal systems And the way that they organized land and farming because I was a really entertaining 12 year old Um From from that that kind of taught me exactly how different kind of social and legal and and complicated structures within a society Can lead to things like the vikings, uh having a lot of spare Sons they they liked big families and they didn't give them any land To head off on violent holiday Um, and since the past as we all know is a gateway drug to the future That got me into science fiction thinking about how new worlds Could be constructed how we could live together in different ways Uh, that then wasn't weird enough Because it it just resembled rich people, uh a lot of the time So I I got into studying Into studying present cultures or anthropology. That's the thing anthropology for those that don't know is the study of humans Is human apology not the study of ants They teach you that in the first lesson at anthropology school There are less people at the second lesson Uh, so why why would an anthropologist a human apologist study technology? Um, well, first of all, you don't fund the social sciences So there's that you got to do what you what you got to do. Um, but also I don't know if you guys have noticed But humans make technology Uh humans build technology humans if you're lucky, uh buy technology and Humans use technology Often badly Uh, or weirdly really, um, so like for instance You don't necessarily think about technology being all about people But then in the 90s we thought that hacking was about putting sunglasses on while you were already inside Looking at green numbers scrolling through a A screen and having fingers come out of your fingers come out more fingers and then typing i'm in Whereas in fact It turns out that the best way to hack into a bank account is to call up a bank and be really polite and pretend that you forgot your password Uh, there you are someone else. Um the uh The other thing that might it might seem that humans use technology weirdly for instance, we created this incredible network of knowledge Uh of of the internet we created ways to share information all around the world That are through cables under the ocean and through satellites storing through the sky Uh, and then we use that it seems mostly to send pictures of cats Um pictures of cats, uh celebrity cats cosplaying as your favorite celebrity cats Um memes about cats, uh, basically mountains of perfect Her communications like the internet also loves puns So you can just google those like I did not write those puns. Uh, I'm furry. Sorry I'm not Uh, so but but for an anthropologist of technology who studies how people use information and systems That's not a surprise because when we look at cuneiform tablets the oldest form of writing We find little paw prints little toe beans all amongst the the the scratches in the clay When we look at immune illuminated I can do this illuminated manuscripts Beautiful things that took people months years of their lives to create There are often paw prints there and very annoyed notes from monks Um, sometimes cat pee stains and really annoyed notes from monks Um, but we know that in their heart of hearts the monks love their cats because they have lots of little doodles in amongst the The illuminated enormous letters of their bibles, uh of cats Oddly enough more of the cats licking their bum holes than we do these days like in this age of Prudishness apparently we have missed out on that So, you know go the medievalist um, so like for For thinking about how people imagine or understand technology how they really connect It's super useful for those of us that are trying to design things or work in a team to to produce these things But it's also useful when you try and understand the politics That create the the spaces within which we imagine and build futures For instance for a lot of people Maybe this is less relevant here But for a lot of people when I ask them what futuristic means to them They imagine a shiny rocket in space They imagine some kind of cylindrical shiny silver rocket heading off somewhere Um, I go to a lot of events about the future. I talk a lot about ai And and that means that I end up seeing a lot of things that are supposedly about Futuristic stuff which show me things that seem to be from the 50s Right, so that shiny rocket in space. That was the future in the 18th century when people looked at trains going that way and went What if that? but up It was the future in the 18th century with hd wells and the the war of the worlds It was the future in the 50s in the space race And then weirdly it was still the future in the 60s and 70s after we'd been to the moon And we had had rockets do successful things And and part of the reason of that is that these stories we tell about the future These technologies that we describe and that we we discuss and build are not necessarily about the technology themselves They're often about Seizing the imaginative space about building the world that we imagine that we want and so in the 60s 70s and 80s A lot of that was about the cold war. So you'd have these shiny rockets zooming off into space Alongside games or magazines that were marketed often at small boys because this was about the military So playing target practice at the same time girls were generally expected to think about the past princesses traditional gender roles Uh, so they would have these shiny rockets boys playing target practice That's still marketed to us as a future and I'll be honest to me. That doesn't sound great That sounds like a urinal That is a urinal future And I don't necessarily want that um, so I want a future that is weird and diverse and strange that comes from all sorts of different places But that's quite hard to achieve these days. It's hard to think your way out of the patterns that have been instilled in you There's a william gibson quote, which you'll all know The future is here. It's just not evenly distributed yet now gibson as Many men have emailed me after I've spoken about him to Have explained to me Like he actually came at this with quite a sophisticated viewpoint and I know that I just have a limited time Um, but yes, the future is here. It's just not evenly distributed yet What a lot of people take that to mean what I've seen that used to say is I got the futures And if you can afford them you might get some too Like your futures they come out of places like silicon valley out of uh silicon roundabout. No, they don't They come they come out of those places and they're supposed to be rolled out to all sorts of other places that somehow are behind them in time Even though linear time moves forward everywhere uh even in uh Like dull itch. I've told I'm told. Um So we hear that the future isn't distributed yet But actually the future the future isn't the preserve of a certain kind of hoodie wearing hacker The kind of places Like for instance, if you think that that like the uk or the us is where the future happens go to singapore the wi-fi works Like it just works everywhere. It works better than it does here. It's amazing Like and and even in countries that you think of us that have really struggled for very complicated political reasons Like I mean the wi-fi signal that is better in most of cambodia than it is in most of london Um and and that's that's kind of because people jump forward in all sorts of different ways uh the Like one of the great examples that I love is that the place where a lot of the bitcoin transactions are happening Uh is not actually in again hoodie wearing hacker camps But in zimbabwe because they ran out of physical currency quite a while ago So they decided to have a bitcoin ATM and for a while that was the only place in the country that you could get money from a cash point There are actually more bitcoin transactions going on sometimes in a zimbabwean country side market Then there are in the big cities that you think of being the center of this of these kind of activity So your average bitcoin user is a bit less like a kind of uh person with excitingly colored hair and a really stylish leather jacket at a hacker camp and more it's it's uh Like it's an african mother Trying to haggle over yams and as those people are literally living in the future that a lot of people here might be looking towards um I see a lot of I I end up as I say going to a lot of these futures events uh And some of them the the smallness of people's imagination is kind of shown off so I was once standing A stand in an event in in brussels and The I'm trying to get a trying to get a snack really. Um, they were giving away nachos and I I like food Um as I'll come back to but it someone came over to me and said like oh, you're sitting down on out eating our food Could you wear this VR headset and witness the future of insurance? I mean I already had nachos in my mouth So I could not say no The VR headset goes on I I I sit down in a very fancy chair because insurance salesmen can afford fancy chairs It makes them feel their life is worth something. Um So I put that on and uh and like immediately I'm transported to the magical world of an office In fact, it's a meeting room now. I've said I like food. I love food. I'm allergic. I can't eat wheat um as uh And so I sit down and in front of me on this virtual table They've given me virtual biscuits Now the thing is to me I can't eat wheat so to me most biscuits are virtual biscuits Like they're always just decoration. I'm happy for you guys But you know and but in front of me there were virtual biscuits and a guy A guy like in a suit walks into this virtual meeting room and says I'm going to show you the future great, um, it immediately cuts and I and I am taken to A vista of a man doing Like zooming between lots of different screens explaining to someone how they can get their tesla Uh, like their tesla has sent them lots of information Which means that they can get this particular kind of insurance claim and they're sending a taxi right now Um, and this took like five minutes. It was really Uh Complicated to see like this is just why don't they just have an ai there? Then you don't have to create this entire interface like this is terrible it cuts And the guy literally like a guy in a virtual meeting room hands me a plate It's like would you like a virtual biscuit? I can't take the biscuit. I have a headset on Eventually that cuts I come back to I come back to the um I come back to the futures session. I stumble away Uh hurt and exhausted and hungry again because Biscuits unfortunately as I say I can't eat wheat they don't usually end up like bothering to put much on it's just donuts in the shape of Symbols that I don't understand But I'm sure that you can put them together to program something like a badge um Like write python in donuts, then I'll be impressed And and like so I I end up going off to the um the future food stall Where I can get my regular supply of insects. Now, this is one of the strange things like at futures events They always want to serve you insects Because that's apparently the future of food, but they've sort of forgotten how food works like If you're serving someone chicken like future chicken, you wouldn't just give them a like a still feathered warm Unseasoned animal and say like eat, but that is what they do when they're trying to When they're trying to serve people based insects. So I I sit down Uh, and I I'm I'm served a plate which is literally a pile of grasshoppers There isn't even salt And they say well, you know, do you dare eat them? I'm like, yes, I do. I can't eat donuts I'm gonna eat the freaking insects And I go, ah Most people don't dare Like this this doesn't tell me the insects are not an amazing a new rich source of protein This just tells me that a lot of the time white people don't season food, right? And and that along with a lot of the other sorts of Like the the work of trying to imagine how a better future could exist Has taught me very much that the the only things One make more donuts that I can eat And two don't trust anyone Who tells you how the future should be If all of them on stage look exactly like me Because we can't even be trusted to season food Thanks Thanks, Lydia People we have come to the end of augmented hilarity Ah, thank you all so much for coming. Um, if you've enjoyed it, give us a hashtag on twitter. We'll say hi back Um, if you want us to come to your next tech fest or conference, um, get in touch with us on twitter We would absolutely love that so That's it. Thank you for coming to augmented hilarity. We've been Anna scary and Lydia. Thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of your festival