 The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you. You sad pathetic comps. Welcome to broadcast. I'm David Feldman. David Feldman showed.com. Please friend me on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter. We're coming to you today from Iowa, Des Moines, Iowa. I'm currently working on a project for Hulu where we're trailing the candidates. It's been an absolutely mind blowing experience and I'll talk about the show that I'm working on in about two weeks before it premieres. This has just been one of the highlights of my sad pathetic life. We've been in Myrtle Beach at a tea party rally. I got to see Donald Trump speak and Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz and then we were off to New Hampshire and I got to see all the candidates and now we're in Iowa where it's freezing cold and I'm in a food desert. If you want to know why America is fat, come to Iowa, the pork capital of America. I'm a vegetarian. I try to be vegan. Travelling throughout Iowa, forget the fact that you cannot get opaque coffee. I will say this about Starbucks. I'd finally had some Starbucks but you cannot find opaque coffee and by opaque coffee I mean coffee should not be translucent. You should not be able to see through your coffee when it's poured into your cup. I have not been able to get a good cup of coffee here in Iowa. I understand that. People are calm in Iowa. They're beautiful people. They're nice. They don't need to be agitated the way I do. I need caffeine. I need mud. Whatever you think of Starbucks, God bless Starbucks. I finally found a Starbucks in Des Moines, Iowa and I had a dark Italian roast. There was a New York Times inside the Starbucks. I know I sound like a annoying New York elitist snob but I don't ask for much in life. I just want muddy coffee to wake myself up. I understand if you live in Iowa you don't need to be as awake as I do. I understand that. Beautiful people. Iowa, the kindest, goodest people in the world. The goodest people in the world are in Iowa and I've learned hanging out with the crew's supporters and the Trump supporters is what Obama has been saying all along and that is there's not that much that really divides us. There really isn't. We're all on the same page. It is in the best interest of the parties and the media to find wedge issues. I think we're all on the same page when it comes to abortion. I think most Americans aren't thrilled about abortion. I think we can work together to figure out a way to have fewer abortions in this country but instead there's a lot of money to be made by political advisors and the media to give us work up and to hate each other. I'm very passionate about gun control. I think if we're going to fight a ridiculous war in this country we fought a ridiculous war against drugs. I think if we're going to fight a ridiculous war we should fight a war on guns. I think what's going on in Oregon should pretty much explain to the NRA supporters that we cannot defend ourselves against the government. No matter how many arms you stockpile the government will win and that is why it's important to teach civics in our high schools and our elementary schools and instead of taking arms against the government be part of the government. Vote. Caucus. Get involved. You don't need guns to take on the government. Become part of the government. If more people got involved with the government and studied the issues we wouldn't be as divided. We're all on the same page. I understand why people are behind the Second Amendment. They feel threatened. Well change the media. Educate people. They feel so threatened. All these issues can be solved without anger, without hating one another, although when people especially at the Trump rallies talk about somebody uniting the country, well I get very frightened. I don't want the country united. I think it's healthy to have discourse, to have arguments. We don't want a united nation. That's dangerous. Nazi Germany showed us that. But if we're going to be divided let's have a conversation, an exchange of ideas instead of just screaming about the other side and having these ridiculous Thanksgiving dinners that have now become our political debates. I mean we really are saying, I'm talking about the Republicans, we're basically seeing a bunch of crazy uncles except for Kasich getting up and just spewing nonsense. So that's why I hope Trump gets the nomination. The Republican Party deserves him. There should be a crack up in the Republican Party. He embodies everything Republicans have been trained to believe these past 30 some odd years. He is the fruits of what the Republicans have spewed. There's nothing he's saying that Republicans don't believe in. In the past they used dog whistles, now Trump is just saying it. He says everything Republicans believe. So I hope he gets the nomination right now. Right now I hope he gets the nomination because the Republican Party deserves it. The question is in November does America deserve him? I don't think so. I think we haven't gotten to that point. So I'm optimistic about Trump. I hope he gets the nomination. I've seen him speak three times. It's remarkable because he does not discuss policy. He talks about himself. He talks about the polls. He does impersonations of the other candidates. He does put down humor. It's like watching Don Rickles and he really knows how to talk in front of thousands of people which most comedians and performers don't understand. Bing Crosby taught us how to communicate with a microphone and Trump understands this. You don't need to shout. You have the amplifier so he gets up there and he whispers in front of thousands of people and he brings you in and you get intimate with them and you start feeling not me but a lot of these people who feel disenfranchised they come to these rallies and because he's whispering and telling you about the process the political process you feel like an insider. You feel he's telling you things that only he knows and only you're hearing. He's a best communicator we've had since Reagan. Smarter than Reagan but has no policy. No policy whatsoever. And he is supported by every horrible human being on the planet. Sheriff Joe Apio yesterday appeared at the rally in Iowa where I was the most horrible human being on the planet. An actual fascist. This is the guy who makes his Arizona he makes his prisoners wear pink underwear, spies on the DA in Arizona to threaten him going after Mexicans. This is a bad guy Sheriff Joe Apio. He endorses Trump. Jerry Falwell's son an evangelical has now supported Trump. The evangelicals are getting behind Trump. Thrice married New Yorker who used to be for abortion. The evangelicals are behind Trump. It is exposing who the evangelical leadership really is. They're just about money and keeping their business going. Anyway Trump no substance and the media well after seeing three Trump rallies I wish I had the money the organization to cover Washington and to cover politics the way it needs to be covered. I was down in Myrtle Beach the Tea Party Rally and I saw Trump speaking to the Tea Partiers and he said that Obama won't bomb the oil wells of Isis and he said believe you me when I'm elected president we will bomb the oil wells of Isis and he said can you imagine if we had a general like Patton or MacArthur who was told not to bomb the oil wells of Isis do you think they would obey that order no because they're real patriots and they love America and the Tea Partiers started cheering he said we need more generals who know what's right and who will disobey an order from their commander in chief. Well there was the press covering this and I'm listening and I'm thinking everybody talks about how Truman-esque Trump is Trump likes Truman Truman fired MacArthur because MacArthur disobeyed Truman's orders in Korea here you have a man running for president many people like in him to a fascist here he is in front of the Tea Party celebrating generals disobeying Obama's orders and I'm walking out I'm wearing my Trump stickers for reasons I'll discuss later I will going in as a Trump supporter and the press walks up to me and they say so what do you think what do you think about Trump going after Cruz and attacking him personally because they thought I was a Trump supporter and I asked ABC writers I don't remember it was a local newspaper they all three of them walked up to me thinking I was a Tea Partier and they all three wanted to know what I thought of Trump attacking Cruz and I asked all three of the reporters did you just hear Donald Trump talk about how great MacArthur was and Patton was because they would disobey the orders of their commander in chief all three of them discounted that one or two of them didn't even remember that and they all said that's not why we're here we're covering the race and I said well why aren't you covering what these men are saying we're not paying attention you know on those rare occasions when Trump offers up a glimpse of what he plans to do or what he believes in you should report that and they're not interested the press is not interested they're getting orders from high on up to cover nothing but the horse race well elections are about policy not the horse race not about who's going to win and who's going to lose the thing about mine comp is all you had to do was read mine comp to know it was time to leave Germany in 1933 Hitler pretty much said what he wanted to do and it is the role of the media to report what these candidates not only believe in but what they want to do once they get into office when you turn on the news I'll leave a rally then go watch how it's covered and nobody is talking about the solutions offered up by Trump as few as those solutions are I mean he's really just giving you an insider's look at what it's like to run for president that's what he does he's short on substance he's just going to surround himself with huge geniuses who will solve all our problems again the Republican Party deserves this because the only candidate who does not insult the intelligence of the American people as I can tell from going to these rallies is Kasich governor Kasich of Ohio he's the only policy wonk running Jeb Bush is an effing liar he's a disgrace Trump has done a tremendous service to this country by just crapping on Jeb Bush and putting the Bush name where it belongs in the garbage that being said I went to a Jeb Bush rally a town hall meeting in Keen New Hampshire at a country club I get the Bush family you know this is a New Hampshire it's beautiful if I grew up as a Connecticut Yankee and my family could be traced back as far back as the Bush family can and their sentimental people they cry all the time they love America they love their America but they genuinely believe that they were here first and it is their responsibility to protect this country from change they're not against change they just want to slow it down as William F Buckley said you know stand a thwart history and say slow it down a little I get that if I were from New England and I had money and sitting in that country club which was not extravagant very puritanical not gaudy I understand why people get behind the Bush family but not after George W became president now their name should be synonymous with failure okay I think I covered everything that I wanted to talk about I will talk about more once I get home and I have time to review my notes it's been an incredible incredible experience these past three weeks traveling with the the candidates I'm not gonna talk about Bernie and Hillary because obviously I want Bernie Sanders that's a whole other issue maybe I want Bernie maybe I don't I just feel Hillary is a safe bet in a pretty unsafe electoral cycle I mean if they nominate Trump I just want Hillary I don't want a socialist running against Trump but I love this country too much to actually see Trump get elected I just want Trump nominated so I'd like it to be Bernie I'd like it to be Hillary versus Trump that being said listen I played it safe with Obama I wanted Hillary and Edwards before Obama I just didn't think America deserved Obama thought we after eight years at George W Bush we didn't deserve to feel good by electing somebody like Obama I was wrong I was wrong I mean Obama is I think the greatest president of the 21st and 20th century with maybe the exception of Franklin Delano Roosevelt this guy has been tremendous I know I know I'm an Obama apologist but that being said Hillary Bernie either one I'd be happy with we're doing a benefit January 29th 2016 from 7 p.m. to 9 30 p.m. at QED in Astoria Queens we're doing a benefit for Bernie Sanders we're calling it keeping Hillary honest a benefit for Bernie Sanders at QED in Astoria the idea is look we want to give Bernie money because we believe in everything he's saying the longer he stays in the race the more Hillary is gonna have to move to the left to shore up the progressive base so let's give Bernie money and that's what we're trying to do even if you're a Hillary supporter you should come out and support our benefit at QED here's the lineup John Fugel saying from Sirius XM tell me everything Frank Conniff from Mystery Science Theater Trayvon free from The Daily Show and it's hosted by Liam McEnany from Tell Your Friends you know him from this show I am not gonna be there I was originally gonna be there but this project that I'm working on has gotten extended so I can't fly back to do this benefit but it doesn't matter this is about raising money for Bernie Sanders and John Fugel saying and Frank Conniff and Trayvon free and there'll be somebody filling in for me who I guarantee you is a lot more fun to watch I think Bonnie McFarlane was supposed to be at this benefit I'm not sure if she's gonna show up but definitely John Fugel saying will be there definitely Frank Conniff definitely Trayvon free from The Daily Show and definitely my good buddy Liam McEnany go to QED January 29th 2016 at 7 p.m. keeping Hillary honest a benefit for Bernie Sanders QED God's gift to comedy in Astoria Queens New York go support Bernie go support QED it's a good benefit and it's a great show all right before we get to my conversation with my best friend Will Durst who I have known since I started doing comedy remember to please friend me on Facebook follow me on Twitter give us a good review on iTunes there's some kind of algorithm that works I don't understand how it works but if you give us a good review or a thumbs up on iTunes it moves us up the charts it's not so much how many people are downloading these podcasts it's how many good reviews you get that's what we've been able to suss out after about a thousand episodes here we've we're I think we're at 1200 podcasts now we just keep going do all your Amazon shopping via the David Feldman show website go to David Feldman show com and you'll see an Amazon banner we're lousy with Amazon banners click on that Amazon banner you will then be taken to Amazon do all your Amazon shopping there's some kind of code embedded in the URL that allows us to receive six to seven percent of everything you buy it doesn't cost you extra remember if you shop on Amazon via my website it does not cost you any more money and it helps keeps the lights on here at the David Feldman show also we have premium content we are no longer selling individual pieces of premium content we are just posting premium content on our premium content page we are in the process of taking all 1,000 of our episodes off the server we're just gonna keep about the last 50 to 100 the most recent 50 to 100 episodes will be available to everybody but we just cannot afford to keep close to 1100 1200 episodes on a server it'll only be made available to our subscribers you have to pay $5 a month to gain access to our our our archives hour hour hour archives $5 a month not that much it really isn't I just went to Starbucks and paid $5 for a cup of coffee so come on $5 a month we accept all major credit cards before I left New Hampshire I talked with my buddy Will Durst America's greatest political satirist here's my conversation with Will Durst this is the David Feldman radio network yeah that's not gonna work okay we had some technical difficulties bringing you the great Will Durst well there's about I don't know 15 minutes of Barry Crimmins that we took out of our last show because we had to bring the radio show in at 30 minutes so I guess we'll run some more of Barry Crimmins and we'll have to rerecord my conversation with Will Durst here is the rest of my conversation with Barry Crimmins no but but I get to do that a lot and they get to meet a lot of people who do a lot of courageous things and in them I take great strength and I have great faith and that's what I could see but but you know we have to choose what we do with our time and if we spend all our time when the net when the last election ends they start worrying about the next you know the Democrats will do will care about the progressive you know agenda just as soon as there isn't an election in it within the next two years and there's always an election within the next two years so what we have to do is we have to put together a large enough group of people who are informed and single-minded about real justice and about behaving decently and about and about and about not you know worshiping heroes and and not getting into these the dactic arguments with people you know where you just spend your whole life chuckling to yourself as you get another meme about refuglicants or whatever maybe try to find out what you have in common with these people I got stuck in common with the people in the in the p-party we both know we're getting screwed it's just somebody trick them and put the wrong face on the monster for them so they think their problem is some poor guy getting cheese as the cheese is being delivered to their own home you know mm-hmm just so go on dad go ahead Dave let's talk about comedy it's great New York now there's 35,000 people calling this those comedians in New York right now you know it's like a refugee crisis the UN should really do something about this I think they should fly in tents emergency tents and set them up with microphones in them so they can get some staged emergency stage time these poor people who are doing their acts two and a half minutes at a time can I try to put together your set doing two and a half minutes at a time a real show when you got to do an hour you put it together to make your show would look like a ransom note hey what's a capital T doing at the end of this joke so I'm for an international effort you know like I'm a you know serious said they were willing to start taking in New York comic and people from Flint well you started the Boston comedy scene over the ding-a-dang well I was you know I mean that's an insult to Fred Allen but yeah I I was I in the modern scene I had something to do with it yes you did and you can learn about that in the movie when stand-up stood out for me that's fine movie for me or call me lucky directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite it's an amazing movie and I recently asked Barry Crimmins to tell me about the barracks we won't even talk about that but you you have watched comedy explode and yeah in the words of Donald Trump what's going on what is here's my theory and then you can respond to it okay when I started I had nothing to lose I was desperate I couldn't meet women I might right I was a complete abject loser there was no way I can make any money do I had to turn several years of being a screw-up into research yeah so just hand me that microphone I talked my way out of the corner yeah so this explosion of comics does not reflect a need for comedy it reflects a desperation among the populace to get love and attention that they can't get anywhere else it's a reflection of our economy and our hateful abuse of society that's how many people want to be like yeah you know he was there children this is full of people seeking external approval and when you're seeking external approval to ridiculous answers and good and good possibility that you don't like yourself very much so that doesn't mean that well I mean here's the thing do when you and I got into comedy you were kind of in the college class you're doing a lot and now it's like you know it's a college course you can study it and go into it and be this measured person with like sort of a crappy plan and you can have connections that you know like you get to move ahead of other people I mean look at look at the if you want to be I mean who the hell can afford to be an intern in Manhattan for the onion or Comedy Central but some rich kid who don't afford to go live in New York for a few years work ridiculous hours and not be paid anything right you know it's only for rich people right I mean once in a while they pick a few people out so they look diverse but for the most part it's just rich people and it's not and it's not an iconic class idea it's like kind of a lemmings like so the problem is that they're still a kind of class in there but they're buried you know they're trying to do something but getting noticed or getting anywhere when there's you know 80% of the people maybe shouldn't are just joiners it's kind of a tough thing and then what the problem is we when I were part of making it look the you know good comics make it look easy and and so they see this oh that looks easy and so they tried and it's not easy it's easy to be a hack and you know what you can have a few good years if the kid is a hack if you know you'll end up on some children because they they always like to have shiny bright young faces telling you know you know crumbling where we're wretched old jokes but but you know thing is very few people will last you know they're unfortunately they'll be thrown away and then they and along the way they wouldn't want won't have learned how to say much or to be part of much that's relevant so even though it seems like the harder path to do the kind of things we've done when you get to our age you got a little more of a chance to to remain somewhat relevant because we practiced noticing what goes on a little bit past like hey I hate this TV show you know so comedy has changed from when we started and I think it's gonna survive because of this the younger comics now are individualizing stand-up by telling stories about their lives yes it's narcissistic it's not necessarily political or anti-corporate but each comic is unique because they're telling stories that only they experienced so well I don't know a lot of stories I hear about the corn in their feces but go on you know I mean there's that there's some great young comics that's who I'm trying to speak up for the ones who really deserve it but I I mean honest to God if you can be talked into not doing it it would be great if you wouldn't do it because there's just too many people now is it New York or everywhere it's well it's it's a crisis level in New York but it is I know it's a crisis level I can't David film and walk out and do a half an hour any place he walks into you know you're a you're a luminary you're a great comic a brilliant you know a long time wonderful you know genius of hilarity I mean just just so dry and funny and acerbic and you know but that's it's you know there should always be stage time for somebody like you but there's just there's this stage time crisis and I can't what you have to do is to get the people really if some of these people really love comedy they should really think about if they belong in it or not you know you meet a lot of these people you talk to them for half an hour they don't have one witty thing to say just like you you just sort of thinking what we could you get the idea to be a comedian this is the David Feldman radio network and where they got the idea was they watch they saw on television or they saw on the internet and they said hey I can do that and you know what a lot of what they see they can do they can take the same you know moldy I don't know this thing you're saying about you know maybe talking about themselves but I just don't know how interesting it is I don't know how interesting you are by the time you're 21 or 22 years old but I want to but then again I'm not you know I'm not the target audience but I just don't find it that fast thing to hear you know if you're really funny sure your life is really funny but if you're not it's not gonna save you or your unique story about what which college you went to or you know who the bully was in high school or what maybe I don't know but I just think I I mean when we did it even though it's daunting in a different way now when we started doing it it was quite daunting because there's like nowhere to do it or whatever and you really had to be almost crazy to do it now it's sort of like well maybe you have to be crazy not because I mean it it's also such a huge you know the potential payoff is you know millions of times more worth more than what the payoff was when we got my sink I just I just wish that the people really do kind of have a vocation had a better chance to be seen and heard and you know there's just a lot but you know what you know what I realized just listening to you when we were starting at the insult was when we were bombing don't quit your day job right today's never had that's right they never had a day job and that's I mean that's not true but yeah they either don't have a day job their trust fund babies or yeah the economy is so bad they have nothing to lose the same way what's the difference that so I do think I love this it's a crisis we've I'm actually like it's like the year and it's got to step in and start getting some tents and I mean if there were enough stage time but I mean you know if there were enough stage time then you're gonna have an audience crisis because like everybody in the New York City would have to go to a show every night for there to be a quorum for all the comics there are to perform you know when I started doing comedy I don't know maybe there were a hundred comics in the United States maybe maybe 500 I don't know certainly not more than 500 and that's counting every you know a comic actor it's we're we're amusing ourselves to death as the book says there's somebody said in order to watch all the original programming that Netflix Amazon and Hulu are providing you would have to spend 20 hours a day for a month binge watching one whole season of Hulu Amazon and Netflix original programming yeah I mean it's anyway this is always a treat Barry Crimmins David yes you know I hope that the young comics out there listen to me understand you know I wish him well I I don't mean to disparage them I just said if they can be talked out of it they should because you know if they do they're making way for somebody may have a little slightly better chance for someone who might might be better as that's all well I just want to say that when I was starting you know it's like you know what's happened in comedy it's like it's like it's like if everybody got to say they were a baseball player you know well you're a baseball player but you know but that's a fast ball well I think that turn your head when the ball fit at you I think that bodes well for the future of stand-up because of Little League Little League gives you no no we're turning stand-up into T-ball but people who play Little League and T-ball understand how difficult it is to catch a line drive in the major leagues so I think everybody trying stand-up well not on T-ball but what I'm saying is that by everybody trying stand-up you gain a keener appreciation of how hard it is to be good at it so it builds up an audience for us that's why it's good that more and more people are trying stand-up you're saying some of them should try it and go away I'm saying is there they're just creating this massive to just making the haystack that much harder for the needles to be found and I like the knee I'm rooting for the needles not the hay you know for the first time I wish everybody I wish everybody were a great talent but they're not for the first time in my life I actually feel sorry for New York comedy club owners like if they have to deal with this refugee crisis Rebecca at the Creek and Cabe is a hero she's the best she's the best running a refugee center yeah she really is and by the way when you were performing there before Thanksgiving all their last week too yeah all the younger comics just poured in to watch you and we're marveling at you uh-huh yes well right well you know and I'll tell you I know it's actually a lot of those kids who I'm trying to speak up for some of those kids are just great and they just deserve a better chance than they're getting and in the past I would say well just go out and hustle some stage time you know hustle a room do this and that everybody I mean you know with 35,000 people covering the town there's not like you know a donut shop opener owner who hasn't been approached but you know they'll find a way I mean if you're creative they will find a way and in the long run you know it will you know well we'll lose some good people because there's this other it's like sane people make pretty good comics too you know and they might get out of it it might get out of it anyway you have a good and a triumphant tour of New Hampshire yeah yes I'm wagging my tail with excitement okay and I'll be up there I'll be in Manchester on the the night before the primary we're gonna be performing hold on I gotta look it up it's a club in Manchester and I'll be at a bookstore slash club in Portsmouth tentatively on Thursday the 4th hold on a second I'm just I'm just looking this up for you right now dude this just I just cut this deal today um so let's see yeah I'm going to be at the Shaskin shas k-e-e-n club 909 Elm Street Manchester New Hampshire at 7 p.m. on February 8th and then and then I'm going to be at and then on February 4th to do it in the wrong order I'm going to be at the Portsmouth booking bar on February 4th for to do to do a show there and that's at 8 p.m. so Portsmouth New Hampshire booking bar at 8 p.m. Thursday February 4th and then on Monday the night before the primary at 7 p.m. I'm at the Shaskin pub and if you're following at Krimmins on Twitter yeah we'll have the details and how you can get tickets and stuff for Barry Krimmins on Facebook or I'll give it up on my website tomorrow Barry Krimmins dot com. Barry Krimmins is the author of Never Shake Hands with a war criminal he is the subject of a fascinating documentary called Call Me Lucky entitled Call Me Lucky directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite screened it on Netflix buy it on Amazon Barry Krimmins I love you come back real soon so though you are the absolute greatest and I really enjoyed getting to work with you towards the end of last year and let's do it a lot this year because you anyone who doesn't go out to see you do stand up is it's their own fault I the same thing if you're in New Hampshire go see Barry Krimmins oh and and I think I'm also can I mention one more yes I'm at the new Brunswick famous place here February 9th actually the stress factory but when it's a tickly that when are you at the stress factory I think February 9th all right it's not you know by the time this runs that'll probably be official but it's not just just watch but I'm gonna be there I'm down in the Carolina I'm North Carolina at the end of the month of February and Charlotte Wilmington so to the Rutgers I'll see everybody everywhere and I hope that among them are you my friend because you're the greatest and I love you brother baby you're the greatest that's right to the moon so hang this thing up and then call me so you can tell me was okay okay because I'm needy I'm a comic bye bye this is the David Feldman radio network that's our show thanks for listening please friend me on Facebook follow me on Twitter do all your Amazon shopping via the David Feldman show website what else $5 a month you can gain access to all our premium content and our archives give us a good review on iTunes did I cover everything yes from the show Briss studios in Des Moines Iowa I'm David Feldman that'll do it for us the David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you you sad pathetic comps this is the David Feldman radio network