 Okay, so we looked at anger, what anger can result in if it's unchecked, if it's not managed, you know, when we react in anger. So when we react in anger, it results in a breakdown of the relationship, right? So in anger, it just clouds our emotion. It clouds our reasoning. When you look back, you see that you would have done a lot of things or said a lot of things that you normally won't say or do if you're not angry, right? You would have done some things that then you look back and why did I do that? And how did I do that? Why did I end up saying these things? And then you realize that it's because of anger, it's because anger clouds us, clouds our reasoning, and we say some unreasonable things. We do some unreasonable things because we are angry and we are just given in, right? So scripture is very clear that we need to, well, in our anger that we should not sin, okay? So just because you felt angry, that does not mean that you have sinned, right? But what you do with an anger will decide whether we have sinned or whether we have, you know, even in our, you know, if you're having those thoughts or if you're in your mind, you're just imagining maybe taking revenge or doing those things and, you know, all those things are happening in the mind, you know, and, you know, attitude changes towards that person. Now that is going to be very detrimental to the relationship, right? Even though things have not happened physically, but you're thinking about it, constantly pondering about it, right? And that also results in a breakdown of relationship because next time when you meet the person or when you speak to the person, everything changes, your attitude has changed, the words that you're going to be using towards that person is different and so on. So in your notes, there is a questionnaire, there's an anger and relationship questionnaire and it's quite a useful thing to go through, okay? And you can respond by writing true or false to all these statements that are about 25 statements. So you can actually write true or false to these, respond to these statements, okay? So let me just read through some of these things, right? And at the end of this, you know, when you, you know, total it up, okay, how many responses did I get, did I respond to as, how many questions did I, I mean, all these statements did I respond to as true, how many statements are false, then you add it up, it gives it, it kind of gives a picture of our anger level, right, in relationships. So it reveals a bit about what's happening on the inside and some of the things that we need to do in order to change, right? Okay, let me just read through, okay, first statement, I don't show my anger about everything that makes me mad. But when I do look out, okay, so here's a person who's, you know, keeps everything stuffed, right, there's no outlet. So, so this happens over a period of time, day one, day two, day three, okay, same things, no anger, no anger. But then when the anger finally hits, it's like, it's, it's a totally different person, right? So, you know, does a lot of things is so much of wrath, okay, second one, I still get angry when I think of things my spouse did to me in the past, okay? So here's a scenario where the person has not healed from whatever injustice was done, right, whatever was done in the past, okay? So that creates that because there's no healing that continues to fester as a wound and it brings up anger whenever you think about it, okay? Waiting for my spouse or when he or she is late really annoys me. I fly off the handle with my spouse easily in the sense I get angry with my spouse very easily. I often find myself having heated arguments with the people who are closest to me. So, you know, what happens normally is when people are close to you, then there are no, there's no formality, you know, in our speech, in our action, there are no filters. And you eat true, we show our true self. And if anger is something which is a problem that we are, you know, we are actually struggling with, then we, because there are no filters, we just show easily, okay? So I get angry. So that is what it says, you know, and I find myself having heated arguments. Okay, then next one, I sometimes lie awake at night and think about the things that upset me during the day. When a spouse says or does something that upsets me, I don't usually say anything at the time, but later spend a lot of time thinking about what I should have said. So here, you know, there's, it's going on. These conversations are in the mind. Okay, so just replaying those conversations. Okay, this person said this, my spouse said this, I should have said it, I should have said these things, these are three things I should have just got back, you know, and put her in a place or put him in his place. So, so again, here again, you're going back to that instance and replaying those things and getting angry at it. Okay, I find it very hard to forgive my spouse when he or she does something wrong. I get angry with myself and I've lost control of my emotions. My spouse really irritates me when he or she doesn't behave the way he or she should. If I get really upset about something, I have a tendency to feel sick later, either with a weak spare, weak spell, headache, upset stomach, diarrhea. Okay, so here's the thing, I mean, this is again something that, you know, maybe there's no outlet, there's no processing, you know, you're not talking about it and just keep it all inside and it affects the physical health as well, right? How our emotions affect our physical health. So falling sick, weakness, headache, upset stomach, it's so intense, those emotions of anger and irritation and because it has not been processed and dealt with, it affects, you know, sometimes skin conditions, allergies happen because of that as well, stress causes that. Okay, people I've trusted have often let me down, leaving me feeling angry or betrayed. When things don't go my way, I get depressed. I am apt to make frustrations, I have to take frustration so badly that I cannot put it out of my mind. I've been so angry at times, I couldn't remember things I said or did. After arguing with my spouse, I hate myself. I've lost relationships because of my temper. When upset with my spouse, I often blurt out things I later regret saying. My spouse is afraid of my bad temper. When I get angry, frustrated or hurt, I comfort myself by eating or using alcohol or other drugs. What is the dangerous trend again? You get angry, you lose your cool, you say things, do things and then you're feeling so bad about yourself and then there is the comfort, the way to comfort or even anesthetize the pain. It's compulsive eating, overeating maybe or even using alcohol and drugs. When my spouse hurts or frustrates me, I want to get even. I've gotten so angry at times that I've become physically violent, hitting other people or breaking things. Physical outlet, venting it out on people and on things. Hitting something, breaking something, blades, glass, whatever. Or throwing things around. At times, I felt angry enough to kill. So that's a possibility again. Sometimes I feel so hurt and alone, I feel like committing suicide. So self-harm, killing oneself. I'm a really angry person and I know I need help learning to control my temper and angry feelings because it has already cost me a lot of problems. So this is really, if we would like to introspect and reflect on what's happening in us, it gives us some indication of what we need to be doing. If we have a lot of true, if we have responded true to a lot of things, then definitely we need to address. There's an issue with anger. And this is what the word of God says. In Probs, it talks about how a person who's always angry, who's full of wrath, is like a city without walls. In a sense, those days when you have a city and it doesn't have a fortified wall, it was always open for the enemy's attack. It was always open. It was in a very, very vulnerable position. So it is like that. So personally, we might feel, OK, when I went to my anger, when I speak out in anger, put people in place and I shout out, intimidate others with my anger. Well, sometimes you know, you're saying like, I feel good. Yeah, I gave it to that person. I gave it back to that person. But the fact is that spiritually speaking, we are like a city without walls. We are we can be easily and it's a button that the enemy can use. You know, this enemy has to press that button and knows that you will lose your cool. You will, you know, you will say things and the enemy just has to bring that right person across or, you know, cause that kind of a confusion. And here we are. We will just give in to anger. So if we know that we have an issue, then we need to address this, right? So if a person, like if you're a young person and not yet married and you have those anger issues, it needs to be dealt with before we get married. Right? It needs to be addressed, dealt with. Maybe there are hurts that have not healed, right? And you're angry with yourself. There are some people who are always angry. Recently, I remember going to a shop and somewhere near our office, actually, and I've gone past several times and I find that person, that shopkeeper, very angry, very angry, speaking angrily on the phone. And so and it's so visible that, you know, you know, I noticed it all the time, you know, every time. And then after some time, I just noticed that this person was smiling, talking to someone on the phone. And I said, this is out of the ordinary. This is an exception. So it was so, it was so apparent, right? Person being angry all the time, right? So the thing is, there's like, there could be some hurt which has not been addressed. There's maybe some regret of the past, something that we have done, we have not done and we've not dealt with it. We've not come to terms with it and that bothers us over and over again. And we take that into the marriage relationship as well and we bring that in and it causes chaos in the relationship because the anger is unchecked and just causes chaos day in and day out. So the thing is to receive healing, okay? And that a good resource is ministering healing in deliverance, the book that pastor's written and you can go to it and then it's like something, it is actually okay in the sense it's to minister to others, but I'm sure that we can use it to minister to ourselves, some of the steps that we can take, inviting God's presence, inviting the presence of the Holy Spirit to bring to our memory, those things that we need to forget, those things that we need to actually forgive. Maybe there are people who have we have not forgiven. Maybe it's us, we've not forgiven ourselves for some of the things that we did in the past, some of the things that we have not done in the past, maybe we missed out on some opportunities, things like that, it could be N number of factors, but maybe we've not forgiven ourselves and well, the Lord says, He is forgiven, so how can we not forgive? So maybe we need to forgive ourselves. Okay, the other thing is that when we see that we have a disagreement with our spouse and that's slowly escalating and voices are becoming louder and emotions are being stirred up and it's heading towards becoming a heated argument and you know where it's heading and the Holy Spirit actually gives us a check in our spirit, so when we know that it's heading there, it's time to put things on pause and say, okay, let's not talk about it now. Let's talk about it later, okay, because we're not in a state to address it objectively, right? So we can say, okay, let's put a pause on this and we'll come back to it and we are in a better state of mind, right? Also, in the same way, we need to not avoid the issue so when we say, okay, we'll come back to it later with the intention that we are going to address that thing because this is not yet solved, right? This thing is not yet solved, it is still a problem. It always has that undercurrent of creating more problems, so we're going to definitely address it but we are going to address it at a later time when emotionally we are better off. We are emotionally, we are capable of handling it, right? Because right now, judgment is going to be clouded, we're not going to be objective, we're going to be severely biased and it's gonna cause more anger and hurt and say things so, put things on pause, right? But we are not going to avoid it because avoiding certain things also erupts at a time and it keeps building up, building up. Let's say somebody's doing something, saying something and then you're just pretending, you're just living in a state of denial, pretending you didn't get hurt or denying the fact that it didn't hurt you, right? So basically, we are not addressing that issue. It is still there, unresolved and we are avoiding it for whatever reason. And maybe we feel that it will, it will unnecessarily create problems but then you're just stuff, it is creating, you are uncomfortable with it and just keeping it in, giving it in and one day it will, it will just, there will be an explosion, right? And it might be worse off than at that time, initially when it happened. It might build to create more damage, right? And sometimes just keeping it in, like we saw earlier, it creates, it just shows up in terms of our health or some kind of sickness, what the doctors call as psychosomatic symptoms or psychosomatic diseases. So emotionally, it gets so stirred up and it breaks out in our physical senses as well. And so it affects the marriage, it affects the relationship here. There's no joy, there's no happiness, there's no peace. Well, the other thing to do, I mean, we're just looking at some of these things which create conflict and we're looking at some of the things that contribute to it. Now, there could be some solutions, helpful solutions from sincere sources but not the solution. It could be several things being spoken, several things being said, but it is not helpful, it is not really solving. So here are some things to stay away from because they do not really address the issue, does not help solve the problem. One is being very aggressive in the sense, you feel anger, you try to intimidate with your aggression. You speak louder than the other person, drown out the other person's voice and just effectively shut that person up. And you feel very triumphant. That's it, I won. So you won, which means that someone is the loser but forgetting that we are the same team. So if somebody in the team has lost, you have lost, the team has lost. So you can't have one person winning and the other person losing and both being in the same team, which means that it's affected the team. So though it might be a temporary fix, a temporary calm saying that, okay, this is it, but it's only temporary. The problem still remains. The second one is when we stuff things, when we bottle up things, when we don't address it, when we avoid it, it can lead to other problems. And on the same lines, there could be some indirect things that we clear, clearly say, without being clear, some indirect things. It could be like you're showing that you're angry, but you're not saying that you're angry, right? It could be in the way that you're not smiling. It could be in the way that maybe you're not speaking. What is wrong is in nothing. And you're not even acknowledging it. Nothing is wrong. Everything is fine, really, yeah. But then, you're not participating. You're not fully there. So indirectly saying that something is wrong. Well, without addressing the issue, the other thing is this, without addressing it with the spouse, you talk about what is happening with someone who's other than your spouse. Without taking it up with the spouse again. You know, with some else at work, with some other thing. Because you just want to be understood. You just want to be told that you are right and your spouse is wrong. So in other words, we're just seeking to be validated. I'm right in feeling this way. My husband or wife is not right in feeling that way or saying that way. So it doesn't solve the game. It doesn't resolve the conflict. If we are seeking validation, okay? Maybe sometimes the person does and person shares it with the family member, right? Maybe with one's parents and saying, my husband is doing this. My wife is doing this. He's always like this. And well, saying the others, maybe they agreeing. Yeah, even we notice that and you're feeling kind of justified in some way. But it doesn't solve. It's not helpful. The other thing is unforgiveness, okay? So saying to yourself, I'll never forgive my spouse for saying that. I'll never forgive my spouse for doing that. I'll never forgive. And sometimes we do that. And unforgiveness is not helpful in a relationship. We won't be able to go beyond that unforgiveness. It doesn't help the relationship. It doesn't help the relationship to grow, to thrive. And we are stuck there. It's like a gate. It's like a wall. It is not allowing the two people in the marriage relationship to heal, to experience the peace of God, to experience reconciliation. It's there. It's blocking all that. So unforgiveness. So if either spouse is holding on to unforgiveness, then it's a bad thing. It's a dangerous thing. And one should not do that. It's very unhealthy. The other thing is also the silent treatment or the whole thing just disintegrating the relationship. And it just come down to a place where either one person is just refusing to speak or both are just not talking to each other, okay? So, and unfortunately, if children are there, they get stuck in between. Stuck in this whole thing. I remember we used to have some neighbors. I'm talking about a long time back. So I noticed something that the wife will not speak to the husband directly. The wife will always say, like for example, if it's dinner time and she just wants to announce, so she'll always, the wife will always send the child and say, okay, call your father. Say dinner's ready or whatever. So the child is always the go-between. So if the child is not there, absolutely nothing. And the same way with the husband as well. So it was a very, very dysfunctional home that we noticed. And unfortunately, the children get stuck there. So, well, there's no resolving of conflict if it's going to be the silent treatment. Just two people living under the same roof. It is not God's plan. It is not God's design for marriage. And definitely, this also is like a block which does not allow the husband and the wife to, to really journey into all that God has for them. Okay. Okay, so, so how do we deal with these emotions? How do we deal with these anger? We need to deal with it, of course, and we need to learn to address that in a mature way. Okay. The verse that we start, we read, says, be led by the spirit, walk in this, sorry, walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Walk in the spirit. So there is a way to learn to address that, that emotion that you're feeling, right? There is a way to deal with it. So, okay, what is that way? Okay, the Holy Spirit empowers that because if that is the design, if that is the truth, then God is behind that, right? In the sense, God is 100% there to back us up. If you're saying, God, Lord, I want to walk in this way. This is what you will is, this is what your desire is. Then God backs us up with His grace. God backs us up with this, with the anointing of the Holy Spirit. Gives us the ability to walk in that way. Okay, so, somethings to avoid is not to hit out of the character, not to put that person down, not to insult the person, not to blame, okay? Many times we blame the person, the other person. It's just you, it's all because of you. And it could be partly true, right? But there's no sense in, there's no point in just blaming. It is not going to solve, okay? Well, if a conflict is very, very deep, intense and you realize that as has been arrived, you're not able to resolve it, right? So there's no harm in getting a good Christian counselor to help guide the process of resolving the conflict. There's no stigma, right? Sometimes, culturally there could be a stigma attached. What stays, no, these kind of things, how can you talk in public? No, these kind of things should be within closed doors. I don't want the other person to know. I'd rather suffer in silence and talk about this to other person. So ashamed, so embarrassed. It's a dishonor to the family. All these kinds of thoughts and reasonings, right? The fact is that there's no stigma attached. You can, one can get help and resolve. It's a good thing to resolve. One can get the right kind of help. It could be a very objective, mature voice, right? And that kind of a voice of truth or an objective voice is required. A person who can actually give an objective view of things. So you know, okay, it's not a member of the family who could be biased. It's not someone who could be emotionally connected to you so that they can, whatever they give, could affect the other person. But here, it can be a very objective voice or objective counsel, not a biased one. So there's no partiality here. That would be helpful. So we're going to look at some simple steps. These are seven steps that would really help a couple to resolve the conflict, okay? So some of the things need to be done individually. Like the first one, okay? Pray and prepare your heart, okay? So praying always helps. So your heart is prepared because when we are clouded with emotion, when we are kind of completely in an unreasonable state of mind to pause and to pray. To pause and to pray about the situation. And well, this is what Matthew 12.34 says, the mouth speaks for the heart is full of. So if the heart is full of anger, the heart is full of unforgiveness. Well, it's a bad thing to get into, even talk to the other person. So pause, take a few steps back and say, okay, let me pray, right? And talk to God about it. Talk to God that the fact that you are hurting, talk to God and the fact that injustice has been done. Talk to the Lord and say, Lord, this ought not to be so, you know? And also talk to the Lord about the other person, you know? We can pray for the person who has actually wronged us. Even as we pray, the Lord would pour out his spirit upon us and make our hearts tender towards the other person as we pray, right? So our hearts are prepared in that sense. So the emotion of anger that we are feeling is not felt anymore, right? We have strangely calmed down because a piece of God has been poured out into our hearts. A piece of God also acts as a sentry. God's our heart and mind through Christ Jesus, right? We read that in Philippians 4. So all these things happen when we pray, right? So the next one is to receive God's empowering to love and forgive. Okay, so we are praying and that's preparing our hearts and as we pray, we realize that, okay, some of these truths come to our mind. The Romans 5.5 talks about how the love of God has been poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit. So you realize that, okay, I have the love of God. I have this unconditional love of God, this in spite of love of God, which has been poured out into my heart. I'm a recipient, I've received that. And that needs to be expressed and that can be expressed but I've already received that love. So God empowers us through this spirit to express that love. God empowers us through his spirit to even forgive the unforgivable, right? Because that is what he did. So in all these scriptures about how we need to forgive as God in Christ forgave us, right? Ephesians 4, the last verse, and be kind, Ephesians 4 and verse 30, to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you. Okay, so that's the standard, that's the model. So the Holy Spirit will always bring us to that place. He will exalt Jesus, the words of Jesus he will quicken and he'll bring us to that place of our image or our nature and character being conformed to the Lord Jesus. So as we give place, as we give place in prayer, in preparation, as we receive, as we are, you know, and that to receive requires humility. Saying, to receive requires submission. So he's submitting to God saying, okay, whatever God, whatever you want to say, whatever you want to do. You know, I remember being very angry once with my wife and this was on a Saturday, right? And it was a Saturday and the next day I was supposed to lead worship. So I don't know, I don't even remember now what we've argued about, what we fought about, but I remember I was very angry then I just had the document and I got on my bike and I left. And with no destination in mind, I was just riding through the streets of Bangalore and feelings very angry. And in my mind, and I said, okay, let me just pray. I talked to God, I'm saying, I'm complaining to God. I'm saying, God, Lord, you know what happened. Lord, I said this and she said this. Lord, I said this and she did this. Lord, I did this and so I'm just, you know, just pouring out everything. And I just felt, okay, God, I think I need to just confess the things that I did wrong. Okay, after this, I said, she said, I said, she said, no, I said, okay, God, you know, these are things that I did wrong, Lord. I know I shouldn't have said this. Actually, I should have just, you know, I should have kept quiet. I didn't, you know, I shouldn't have said this. And then I came to a point, I finished my list. Then I, now I wanted to talk to God about what she shouldn't have said, what was wrong with her. And I could sense the spirit of God just, you know, saying, okay, stop. Okay, you've told me where you went wrong. And I'll stop. Don't worry about the other part. Don't worry about the part where she went wrong. I'll deal with that. But you've confessed and you have said, okay, where you went wrong. That's fine. That is fine with me. And I realized that I said, okay, God, you know, that's it, fine. I just want to thank you for talking to me. I just want to thank you. And just pretty soon, there was so much of healing, so much of change of emotions that I was just, I was singing, praising God. And I went back home in a very different frame of mind, completely changed. And I completely forgot, what is it that we even argued about? Even today, I'm trying to think, what is it? So many years and decades have gone, but then I'm not able to recollect, what is it? So the Lord can bring us to that place. And now I was ready to apologize. I was ready to work through those things. And I was in that frame of mind when I got back home, right? So when we pray, when we give space for God to fill our hearts, to empower us. So empowering always from a place of humility, from a place of submission. So the Lord pours out his love. The Lord begins to speak to us and his words bring healing. His words bring healing. His instruction brings healing. The scripture talks about how the entrance of his word brings light, right? So yeah, I just see Rosalind's comment also, Holy Spirit corrects and doesn't want to talk about the other person. Yeah, so true. Yeah, so sometimes what happens is God also gives us the next steps. Now here, when I talk about my conflict or argument, it was a simple thing, right? But it's not always so. There could be certain things that are complex, multi-layered. One thing which is connected to another thing, connected to another thing. So it's a little complex, right? So when we pray, when we receive God's love and we receive his empowering, we also receive the wisdom from him. Wisdom for the next step. Wisdom for the next steps, right? So God gives us the wisdom. Wisdom for what? Wisdom to really go to the root of the matter, right? Sometimes we think, okay, this is why this problem happened. Well, that might be just partly true, right? There is a different level altogether. I see there's a deeper reason which to that answer, that question, why? There's a deeper reason and sometimes it's so hidden, right? Hidden to human eyes or human reasoning or human analysis and it requires the wisdom of God to get to the root of it, right? And the Lord in a very non-condemning but definitely convicting manner reveals through his wisdom the root cause of that problem, the root cause of, well, this is why you did what you did. This is why you said what you said, right? It is not that spur of the moment anger, but there's a deeper issue which has not been solved. So, and also gives us the wisdom to address that, right? Proverbs 2.6 talks about how the Lord gives wisdom and knowledge and understanding come from him, he's a source. So he gives us and James chapter one also talks about if we lack wisdom, we can actually go to him boldly and he will give to us without holding back and without ridiculing us, he will give to us. So, we need to actually take time to listen and say, God, okay, yeah, I've received this, but then what do I do now? What are the next steps? How do I go about things? So the Holy Spirit is Spirit of Wisdom. He's the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation, right? So he will give us the instruction, what we need to do, okay? So many times when we say, okay, there's a cause behind it and then we just blame the devil and blame Satan and say, okay, the devil made me do it, the devil made me say this, it's the devil, it's the devil. Yeah, well, in a sense, it is correct, right? Satan causes that, but we also know that our own undoneured flesh, our own, well, undoneured mind, our own fleshly desires and appetites create a lot of confusion, right? It contributes to the conflict, never forget that. So, well, the enemy might empower us or demonically certain things are energized, influenced, but also we need to understand that it could be our own choices, right? So, our choices could maybe open the door for the enemy. Our continued wrath has opened wide the doors for the enemy to take a foothold, to take a place to influence. So, we need to close that door, right? Repent and close that door. Say, you don't have any, right, you don't have any hold in my life, you know. In my life, in my spouse's life, you take your hands off, right? Okay, so, things need to be discussed, things need to be addressed, okay? So, sometimes we think that, okay, when broad, sorry, I'm sorry, we'll solve it. We'll solve it, and I'm sorry for all that happened. But we just need to, you know, go into the details, be specific, and so it's good to sit down, to talk. It's good to address those things that have caused the problem, okay? And, well, the thing is this, sometimes one person is ready to talk, the other person is not, okay? Emotionally, the other person is not ready, the other person is not willing to do that, we need to give the time, all right? When we, you know, certain situations are so, let's say, are so hurtful, certain conflicts are so hurtful, and the response or the reaction in anger has been maybe sometimes physically violent, or there's been so much of verbal abuse and all that. So, it is, it's gonna take time, right? It's gonna take time for the person to come around and be in a place of wanting to talk again, right? And sometimes it requires a good Christian counselor, a wise Christian counselor to talk, to talk to maybe like an intermediary, and to address that, right? So, there could be a pastor, it could be someone whom they look up to, it could be a certified, a trained, gifted Christian counselors who could do that. So, this needs to be done. And the fact is that it needs to be discussed, right? It needs to be addressed, it cannot be just brushed aside, okay? And so, just need to talk why happen, right? And not just one person doing the talking, but both, okay? This is what I felt, this is what I, I know this is what I said, but, and what would be helpful is to really share, okay? What one person felt when, because of the other person's action or words, okay? And the statement could be like this, you know? I was hurt when you said this. So, it's not like saying you said it and you hurt me, so, you know, there's a difference, right? So, it's more accusational if you're saying, okay, you hurt me when you said that, rather than that to say, I was hurt or I felt sad, I felt, I was shaken, I was broken, you know? This is what I experienced. So, those I statements are really helpful. At that stage when we are sitting down to discuss, sitting down to talk about what went wrong, okay? We are addressing the problem, right? So, those I statements really help. So, it doesn't put the other person on the defensive because you're talking about what you went through, what you felt when you're saying, you know, I felt angry. When I heard these words from you or I felt really sad when you did this or when you didn't do this, right? So, it helps address those things in an easy manner, right? Okay, so, here's something that was these practical steps. It's actually from the Colorado State University and there's an article there, the hyperlink is also given. So, you could probably check that original article also. Well, the first thing is to take time to identify one specific issue, right? What is that specific thing that you want to resolve? Okay, so, for example, if it is like, you know, I want to talk about the fact that we're always late for this particular, you know, whenever there's an appointment, whenever we need to go to church, whenever we need to go, we're always late. I want to talk about that, okay? So, don't talk about 10 different things. Let's start with just one, right? And also, second, they decide if it's worth discussing. Is it a minor thing? Is it a major thing? So, you know, and what are the intentions? How big is the issue? Okay, third thing, decide when we can actually talk about it. Now, it has to be a good time when there's privacy, when there's not, the children are not there, and the guests are not there, maybe, maybe. So, it could be, you know, it could be a, and also the place. Is it at home or do we discuss it elsewhere? So, pick a time, pick a place, and decide, which is the ideal time, and you have both are in a, you know, in a state of mind or in a frame of mind to actually discuss it, okay? It's like, if one person is, you know, tired, the other person is all full energetic, it doesn't really help, you know, because the other person doesn't want to, doesn't want to do it, they emotionally drain, right? Then they also take time to understand feelings, thoughts, and past actions, get focused before talking about it, okay? Then start the discussion with what you think is positively occurring with the issue, okay? Three things that we did in the past, maybe it's been a long, long thing, I mean, long standing issue or problem, then, okay, we could talk about, okay, this is what we did, you know, these are three things that we did, or two things that we did in the past, but it does not resolve it, okay? This is what we did. I know we went for this, you know, this marriage workshop, but we really didn't put things in practice, and therefore, you know, we kind of let things trail away, we didn't really follow it up, so it does not help, right? So talk about that as well, what did we do actually? What initiative did we take, okay? And also, this thing that we spoke about, right? What do you feel, you know, I feel angry, I feel sad, I think you don't love me, I feel unloved, I feel uncared for by you, and when you say this, et cetera, this will be really helpful, okay? Okay, so several other things which could really, these are practical things that would help us in identifying the problem, in staying focused on the problem, in also having the right place and time for the problem, and also help us, you know, look at it objectively and talk about, okay, what are some solutions, what are some things that we can, suggestions that we can do, what are some steps that we can take? So the thing is to come to an agreement on what steps can be taken, okay? Now, we know that it's not as easy as we are discussing it now, you know, because emotions are involved, right? So one has to be mature, you know, one has to be open to the thing that, okay, they could be stirring up of emotions, right? But even as we are talking, you know, the midway there could be a tendency to just the whole thing breaking down, right? But if both are committed and patient and wanting to solve, then we'll continue to stick to the process, stick to the discussion and see through that it can be resolved, that there will be alternatives and this is what we need to do, okay? Okay, so we'll continue with this. I know it's a kind of a topic that is not very, not simple, it's not like an open and shut thing. So we will, we have some more things to discuss, so we'll continue with this next class, right? Okay, thank you, God bless, you take care, bye-bye. Thank you, Posta, God bless you. Thank you, Posta. Bye-bye, God bless.