 Hey what's up you guys welcome back to my channel if you're new here, hi hello I'm Lydia and if you are new here make sure you hit the subscribe button, enjoy the growing family, help me reach 10k because that'd be amazing, think of all the awareness we can spread. Today I need to put a trigger on it for suicide attempt. Today I'm talking about my worst suicide attempt. So like I said this video is going to be pretty intense. My worst suicide attempt wasn't when I was under section 3, it was before that. Basically what happened is I was having a bath, I was living with Becca at this point, I said I was going to have a bath, I went in the kitchen and got all my insulin out of the fridge. I got the box that I had in the room and honestly I just kept injecting my insulin until the police turned on. Now I didn't want to get charged to fix a bathroom door so I didn't open the door to them. They said I didn't have capacity. They gave me the choice of putting sugar and I'm walking out of them or they'd drag me out. My blood sugar dropped to 1.8 which is dangerous, I should have ran in a coma. When we got outside that my flat, the police put me on a section 136. If you are interested in learning about a section 136 I'll link on the icard up there that I made videos talking about section 136. So if you're interested in questions about that let me know in the comments down below. The police took me to the A&E and tried to lead us, they handcuffed me to the bed which was horrible. I tried to refuse treatment, I didn't have capacity so they went ahead and treated me anyway. I was rushed into resource because of how low my sugar level was and they didn't inject me with lorazepam and I moved so I got a scar on my ass with needle scraped it but they managed to pin me down and inject me with lorazepam and then they started to put IVs in both arms of glucose. Once I was out of the danger zone I was transferred to majors. I was unhandcuffed from my bed then I realized in my handbag that I had another insulin pen and I went to the bathroom on my own because there was two male police officers that were there and they thought I'd be okay because they basically snuck my insulin pen under my sleeve. It was a really dark time in my life. With the insulin pen I injected the whole thing and when the sugar dropped again I was put on glucose. I was kept in AAU which if you want me to make a video on AAU let me know because I spent a week in there when I was admitted under a section of the ring. I've been in AAU a lot of my diabetes. I've been in AAU because I'm not into health so if you want me to talk about that I mean why that was the most serious attempt I made is the level my blood sugar dropped to should have been low enough to put me in a coma. If I had capacity I would have refused treatment. It's so hard when they say you don't have capacity because they can do what they want. They can sedate you so they can treat you. That's what they try to do with the lorazepam in me but it's not a test that doesn't work. I take two milligrams of lorazepam every day at night. I can have two milligrams twice a day on PRN. I take it at night because it stops the night mouth so yeah. But it was a serious attempt on my life. The scariest attempt on my life would be when I stepped over the barrier of the bridge. The only reason I'm still alive from that one is because someone got out of the car and ran around about and stopped and grabbed hold of me and then someone else came over and they pulled me over to the side and waited for police. Police put me in handcuffs straight away and then so they saved me in such a 1.36. So if you are wondering what goes on when I attempt suicide then there's the internet out basically. It's never been an easy thing that I've done. It's so hard having suicide attempts in the past because when you know what works you try and get your hands on it and you do anything to just take your life. I've been having a lot of dark thoughts the last few days and I've been trying to work out how I can get my insulin out the fridge without the keys which is just his in their way. My god it's hard admitting this stuff but that was my most serious suicide attempt. They did get my sugars up after three days of constant glucose into an overdose or serious. Every overdose is serious. It's not normal to want to take an overdose or anything but we do it and I honestly don't want to say that because no one should be in a position where they feel like that's the only way. Suicide is not the way out because it causes pain to those around you. Anyway this is a bonus video for the week. I thought I'd upload one mid-week just to catch up I guess. I really wanted to make this video. In case you're wondering what happened after that suicide attempt I was put on a section of doom. The amp in the section 12 doctor and the independent psychiatrist didn't even talk to me. They read my notes and put the amp section of doom which was a reasonable response I guess. See some munitions you don't get the option to choose if you go in formally they just section you. Honestly being sectioned is one of the hardest things to deal with. That's for another video. If you take any hit from this video I want you to take that it's okay to not be okay. I'd rather hear your story than read your eulogy. If you are struggling please reach out for support. I'm not a professional but I will message back if you just want somewhere to rent. My inboxes are open but please I beg of you no dickpicks please. Thanks for watching this video and if you aren't here like a star hit the subscribe button to join notifications on and I'll see you in my next video which will be Friday. Thanks for watching and I'll see you soon. Peace.