 All right, so we handle out the online team who's been working to Help our online viewers set me questions. So I'm gonna start there because they Have patiently endured our breaks and such Their first question, which is a very common question Do you have book recommendations to learn more about these beautiful women who we spoke of today? I'm assuming they want English book recommendations if you can Just simply I'm I'm answering may Allah forgive me just because we finished last year a whole class It was a whole year class at gender Institute where we covered first is the we call it the pearls around the Rasulah sallallahu sallam So we covered the woman around the Rasulah sallallahu sallam including his wives and his daughters There's more than one book the for those of you who read Arabic one of the most beautiful and I'm sure you know it is Been to shata doctor aisha, it's called a Sayyidah to beat in Nabooa. It's an Arabic say you that to bait in Nabooa. It's not translated Right, however, there's a very common very good books actually woman in Islam and It's written by Dr. Tarkh sweden very easy read. This is for those of you who don't know much yet Just you want to read very easy nicely Written I think it's written originally in English because you can tell so it's called woman in Islam That's one say you that to bait in Nabooa is the second one There was a woman around the Rasulah sallallahu sallam It I didn't find it as a book, but you can hopefully you can find it meaning PDF But not a real book. There's a lot of resources about that I I recommend for all of you to start with start with the woman in Islam By Dr. Tarkh sweden. It's very easy read and will give you a lot the idea and please forgive me I'm gonna add a little bit. It's not to read a lot read with depth Read as you really want to know who's this woman, you know, we gave you like just a little bit today Just like a little bit examples Go in depth Spend hour or two with every page and feel it and then Allah swt will open it for you The next question is specifically about Who to study with and I think one of the Amazing things that we have before you we have many organizations present today And all women so you're safe wherever you go on this panel. Hamd Allah So maybe if you I'm just gonna pass the mic we'll start with We'll start from my right because you're on my right and then we're just gonna where you teach And how people can best contact you if they want to see what you're doing in terms of teaching So what I come I have literally nothing to add. These are literally teachers. I'm so embarrassed to be here I have a class on Swiss which is looking at the hadith and ayat that women have frequently asked about relating to women and then there is also us Projects I'm working on and she'll they're gonna be released next year, but that's the only one that you can access online. I'm gonna How did I just move here in August so our halafa on Stanford campus, so if you're on in the area It's every Thursday at 6 30 at 6 30 as long as the quarter is in session. So we're actually covering the Cedar, which is really exciting. I I'm really excited that you're there Sorry, there's some Cal Berkeley and Stanford rivalry going on up here Okay, I'm doing a masha Allah the Rahmah Foundation welcomes everybody inshallah for you all to join us the Holocaust are These are this way the Holocaust are on Friday nights. They start at 8 p.m They have been for the last couple of years virtual inshallah There's a possibility if please big do out if it works out inshallah that we might have a hybrid model starting in January For those of you who've been part of the Holocaust we meet in that conference room right there I'm sure well every Friday night So we hope you'll come back and join us in person again And for those who aren't able to we'll do them continue to do them virtually as well Insha Allah that means also the girls programs Please make do out because for about I don't know 10 years non-stop We've had girls Holocaust as well parallel with the woman So we hope inshallah those will resume with me now with your Dua's and then Rahmah Foundation recently also Started their Holocaust on clubhouse for those of you who are on that app too So make sure inshallah that you're following either on the zoom or on the clubhouse inshallah for our Holocaust We also have a lot of classes on the website If you are looking to take like a full series or something very focused you can go to the website all of it's free And you can take a whole course that way as well. I don't want to forget the website Um, where do you teach? Who are you status? She's I'm doing awesome. I like them everyone. Um, so It's like you look at it. Thank you. Mashallah. You understood the assignment I'm doing it. So I teach here at MCC Thursday the last Thursday of every month. Alhamdulillah. We have a sister's house open to all. It's a total open-door policy I actually do it only monthly because I know we have so many time constraints. It's hard to do something consistent You're free to come and go as you like I also have clubhouse that I'll be starting new sessions actually this coming week. I'm doing two classes Alhamdulillah And by by the permission of sheikh Hamza, which are the purification of the heart the diseases of the heart As well as agenda to change our condition both of these he's he's translated and written both of those books So those are on tuesdays and thursdays. It's on clubhouse. So it's a very simple if you don't have the app I personally I know I actually saw some social media related questions social media as we know is a very dark Intoxic place generally speaking, but there are some what I call like light or lamp posts, you know some places where there's some light Clubhouse can certainly be one of those. I know mashallah sheikh mariam does tiktok and instagram. She's amazing She's she's everywhere. I'm gonna give her tawfiq and bless her Well, I am so comforted when I see her in these spaces because she is a huge lamp post But on clubhouse, it is a space. That's a safe space. So I welcome all of you to look into that It'll be starting this tuesday and thursday Uh pacific standard time one o'clock on tuesday and on thursday four o'clock inshallah, but that's all Salam alaikum. Um, we have juna institutes. Some of you. I know are taking classes with us There is two ways you take classes with us There is the Quran we call the Quran department where you can memorize or learn to jweed Arabi or in english and we have wanted with an ordo then we have the islamic studies where we have Been running classes for years now. Alhamdulillah just this year. We started in september year of knowledge Which is a one year program what every muslim woman should learn and we covered five topics Which is science of the quran fiqh hadith tesquia and aqida We are about to finish our first semester starting inshallah afterwards if you want to join email me The team will kill me, but that's okay But you have to all All our classes are online Subhanallah because we know a woman. It's not very easy for them So everything is online and then they are also recorded all the books are online and we teach traditional way You read the book We read the book in the class and we explain it and also we have our free tuesday program some of you You probably know this it's on youtube every tuesday. We have tuesday program Most of the Speakers here were actually guests. We try to have once a week or once a month or twice a month Guest to speaker woman and the others. I do it. We we tackle different Topics. This is what I will say at the end. You want to learn? Allah will open it for you And this is exactly how I was advised 20 years ago Ask Allah sincere. You want to learn but put this next to it. It's not an easy journey He will test you in every step and you have to keep going Be consistent be sincere and he will open to you without you knowing where to start Assalamu alaikum I've been away for 30 years so And i'm here on a short visit only but I do want to say that subhanallah It is something that really gives me I mean it's a coolness to my eyes and a pleasure to my heart to see after 30 years so many Muslim scholars and knowledgeable women Doing all this dawa work. Thank you A couple of questions about dealing with Oppressive family where they're not allowing Women to be treated as they should be treated as Muslim women. So They've heard, you know, you say wonderful things about the rank and status of Muslim women What about when the experience at home with family or At work or with friends is not that way. What what should be the response? Assalamu alaikum I mean, this is a very General question. I would have to know exactly. Are you talking about a husband or a father? Or a boss Exactly. What is it that isn't Going What is it that's difficult difficult? Is it a difficulty or is it abuse? Is it A parent or is it a husband for each one of these? There's a different answer In case of a marriage you have a way out if there's real abuse going on if it's just your normal Difficult person subhanallah. Allah taught us women how to diffuse such situations and how to Work as a team with our spouses no matter how difficult they are If they're normal difficult people not people that have problems In telling us to obey your husband Spana that is when when a situation comes to His word or mine just to give in to something that is not so Major is something that makes him feel that he's still in charge and that makes him A softer human being and a more, you know, you're dealing with with someone that has kindness Towards you and is is not fighting you but Subhanallah to constantly Wage a war and a battle in in a marriage For whose word is going to be? Who's who's who has the last word on on everything is Toxic the environment becomes toxic And so it's you know, it's up to you whether you are going to realize that this human being has been put Allah chose this man to be under your care Someone who has faults so do you But someone who needs your acceptance and needs your patience and needs Your love and needs your kindness in order for him to become a stable Fulfilled human being that can give back to you what you have poured into him. Perhaps no guarantee But the reward is with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. What is it that helps women and and doesn't let you feel that you are A victim when you are in such a relationship the idea of you're obeying Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala You're not obeying this human being Every relationship in islam is a triangle It's you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and then that other human being so when you're obeying him It's not because he deserves to be obeyed sometimes you're wiser and more intelligent and you have more knowledge and more experience It's because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala asked you to do so and Allah asked you to do so in order that you can live A peaceful life little by little you will see that he becomes a more balanced person towards you Um, if it's a parent then it's a different story You cannot divorce a parent and I've heard of toxic relationships, you know with toxic parents or Subhan Allah. I don't subscribe to this. I know that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala asked us to treat them in the best manner possible and Know that everything that you are going through and the most difficult parents are the old parents the older they get the more Set in their ways the more Childlike their behavior Therefore what I'm saying is if it's a parent Being good to that parent despite all their difficulties and hardships and the hardship They're putting you under is something that you are gaining the closeness gaining closeness to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala through If it's a boss at work Well, I mean some difficulty can be put up with there's no place that's perfect But you can find another place So what I'm saying is what relationship are you talking about specifically? But the most important thing is for you to know that any relationship is a triangle You're dealing with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala before you give a reaction to the other person. It's not a tip for tap Jessica very well said I'm gonna ask add one thing as far as I was planning to say it But now Allah made me remember there's a saying too. They say it's to the Imam ibn at-ta'al Secondary qumi haith wa qamakillah or maqamaka haith wa qamak your place is where he put you in You know what that means So if he puts you as a if he put you as a wife That means he wants you to be serving him him not your husband as a wife No, I really mean this if he put you as a single mother or a single woman That means you are his servant in that status. So abusive And I woman come to me a lot about this. I have only one line. I said, where are you more pleasing to Allah? Inside this marriage or outside this marriage If you are more pleasing to Allah inside this marriage meaning you can take it You are absolutely patient and you look at your akhira. Then you stay If you are not even if there is not really a lot of abuse. She just can't stay then absolutely leave Exactly what sheikh sosen said put Allah number one in your formula Difficult parents. That's the toughest one Because this is there is no Plus and minus mafiha. It's in the Quran He made he put it together Allah had decreed you worship not but him and treat your parents with excellence And then he specified because you know when it's going to get tough When one of them or both get to the old age And you know how difficult it is with an old age parents, especially these days Don't say off. So what do I do? It's very difficult sister. I say turn to Allah. Say, yeah Yeah, Allah you are the one who makes things easy Make it easy. Do you think he will not listen to you? He will Have this relationship cry to him run to him. So there is Choice and there is no choice and Allah will make things easy Because this is an online question sister Julie and sister Lisa Are asking how do I become a muslim woman? How am I to dress to come to them as did for the first time? How do I convert? So if you are In the east bay We welcome you to come And see stada hosai who's who's here who will meet you anytime Day or night If you are yeah, so just let us know message us And we can connect you to somebody where you are We can virtually meet you now. You can you'll put anybody you want Before you Dr. Haifa will come in person. We're happy to welcome you into our community There's no special uniform to come to Islam Just the heart right is ready if you're ready We are welcome. We are welcoming you to join our community Isn't that a happy questions? Yeah, keep the questions coming Let's see. I mean trying to find another happy question So I we gave each each of you a stack if you can look at your stack and do an overall answer kind of With your questions will go all the way down. Yeah, we'll start with you. We'll go all the way down And because we're hitting up on on matter Okay, so I had a few questions that were related to rebuilding a connection with Allah this kind of summarizes the themes of those questions What are realistic baby steps we can take to getting closer to God when you feel terrible about your spirituality effort and your relationship to God one of the important things that I think many of us Underplay is how much individuals can impact how we feel about ourselves and our relationship with Allah's panel So if you are as a child, we're constantly hit to read the Qur'an Or maybe you had a teacher who spiritually abused you in some way And dr. Rania is the expert on this may Allah bless her When you have a relationship with Islam that started with parents who used hellfire to threaten you to get you to go to bed on time Like when Islam has been used in these ways, which is not from the revelation It's not from the sunnah to teach Islam in these very Literally painful ways a lot of times as an adult you can have an aversion may Allah protect us To prayer to da'a to Qur'an And i've i've encountered so many people who ask me this like how do they process Wanting a relationship when the beginning of the relationship started with a very painful experience And the first thing to recognize is the fact that you want a relationship Speaks to how strong your love is for Allah That despite what you've gone through you haven't said Islam that Allah may Allah protect us all I've met many people who have made this statement that they don't they don't want to associate I mean the fact that you want to as a sign Of the strength that you want your e-man to be you want it to go in that direction The second thing is realize that sometimes we project the way that we feel about ourselves Onto Allah's panel to Allah So if I don't like myself if I loathe myself if I can't get over a sin I committed five six seven years ago months ago weeks ago And i'm constantly making toba and I can't can't can't even imagine Allah swt for giving me and so I assume That because I hate myself so much That's how Allah swt sees me So then I've met people who say that they feel embarrassed to pray because they don't think Allah swt would want them to pray Because they're not righteous enough for prayer for every type of worship Someone has said this whether it's Allah or hijab or walking into a mischief space Verses Allah swt either keeps telling us that any time we go back to him We are sincere in our repentance. He accepts and he forgives and that we do good deeds to wipe out the bad So realistically look at yourself and think about where does this feeling stem from some of us are really just caught up in life We're caught up in life. We're impacted by social media. We're just caught up in the dunya. That's very human But for others there's some reason why Examine what that is for you and work on Healing yourself from a spiritual place with the help of Allah swt So what that looks like is a for example working with a muslim therapist if you've actually gone through trauma The second thing is creating new experiences with worship You don't let someone who raised you or who not raised you like a parent But like maybe they were your islamic school teacher teacher Someone who when you were 13 who did something so horrific You never told anyone they don't get to say whether or not you're going to pray when you're 27 Don't give them that power You have the power why Allah swt is will to choose to pray today Don't give anyone that level of of of of uh Importance in your head when Allah swt is the one who can help you overcome everything So you choose it's going to be your relationship with Allah swt And you build new experiences with that relationship So let's say when you used to read Quran it was in a very you know in a very particular room Choose to read Quran on the beach read Quran at a cafe read Quran taking a hike Re-establish new experiences with the Quran so that your brain makes new neuronic experiences with That that worship and make sure you have very consistent worship Obviously we have Salah and we have the full adh but beyond that Number one read the Quran every single day. I didn't know Arabic. I read it in English. The Quran changed my life Changed my life in English until I learned Arabic So every single day take a certain amount in whatever language you can understand if you can read Arabic to do it Even if you're super slow do it every day one verse five verses one page Consistently, that's the first thing the second thing. There's a very beautiful book on seerah. It's called Muhammad man and prophet Peace be upon him. It's by Adil Salahi adil Lhi, it's like over 800 pages, but it's so beautiful about the seerah I really recommend going to that book for the seerah and for a Quran translation I recommend Mustafa Khattab Dr. Mustafa Khattab has a beautiful new translation. Masha Allah and the third thing is work with mentors Find sisters mentors sheikh that you can study with Because a lot of times you're going to go to a random Islamic website to ask about a woman's question And you're going to walk away from there going How do I process that answer? Instead seek mentorship with real people who have institutes You can study with Dr. Hefe like how honorable is that? Masha Allah with Assad of Hussai with antsy sosen With with doctor with with dr. Rania with Asada Amina these are people these are women who are really here here to support your process Insha Allah so make sure that you know that you don't have to go through this journey alone and that anytime you doubt yourself remember If you doubt yourself And you wonder where are you with Allah? It's because you care about Allah's panel to agha So now what do you do you reevaluate yourself? I'm here What can I do to get to a higher place until you reach that place? What can I do to get higher and higher and higher insha Allah sincerely for the sake of Allah? It's really hard to talk after people that are your heroes You know Span Allah but following up on that one of the questions unfortunately says what do you do when you feel unworthy of God's love? You are worthy you are worthy you are worthy these aren't my words. This is the prophet sallallahu alayhi sallam telling us this When we talk about the angels, it's scary. You know what what if you're an important person There's people that write everything you do a law created angels to write what you do You are so worthy Span Allah I remember going to a session and and I remember the scholar saying Allah loves everyone. Some people realize it and some people don't The question isn't if Allah loves us The only question is if we are able to realize Allah span of Allah's love Allah's been feeding you. He's been clothing you. He's been giving you people that love you since the second you were born How can I now come and say Allah doesn't love me? Even those who disobey Allah Allah feeds and closes close them to Allah loves you that is the default Span Allah, I think we also make it so difficult of like oh, I need to do this and one day I'm gonna learn Arabian I'm gonna memorize the Quran and then I'm gonna get it. You know what you should do make Just ask you're asking the creator of the universe There's nothing that he can't do Just ask And that da'a you can do that mokhala ibad. That's that it's it's the essence of all of our worship Everything you're doing the essence of it. Ask Allah span of ta'ala. There is no barrier. Why are we creating stupid barriers? There isn't one Allah span of ta'ala tells us if you walk to me a hands length that come to you on arms length you come a Arms length that come a yards length you come to me walking. I come to you running. Just go Just ask Allah and every step you take for the sake of Allah span of ta'ala It's not a matter of like oh, I need to do more. No, it's a matter of quality of focusing Someone was saying with all the distractions of 2021 What can I do? This isn't the they're always been distractions like the muslims they became muslim under literally threatened against their lives Alhamdulillah, it's so easy for us. All we have to do is ask just ask Allah Ask with sincerity of like, yeah, Allah bring me closer to you. What's the path? Which way? Allah point me in the direction that pleases you And be honest follow that path subhanallah there was um Sorry, there was another question just about say the fault of my love about being ummi abija We talked a little bit about motherhood and the reason we talk about this is this is the most obvious example of love That we witness as human beings And and sometimes your mother is difficult and you end up in therapy for years. I don't want to discredit that But as a general rule when you see a mother like her babies throwing up in her and she's like, oh, isn't this the cutest thing in the world? Motherhood is mind-boggling It's that depth of love that she gave to her father Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam she gave to everyone around her. It doesn't necessarily have to be a blood relation I have like there's so many. Alhamdulillah. There's so many both men and women in my community Or I'm like, I think you should do this with your life. I think you're great at this And I'm so grateful that they take it from me like who's this crazy lady that's telling me what to do with my life Alhamdulillah, but part of that love I'm gonna sorry I'm gonna end with this because it's my one of my favorite stories from this year the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam during the hijra There's a moment where they're trying to pass the their guides telling them like mind you if you like they're during the hijra So if you'd like if you capture them you and your family are gonna be rich for the rest of your lives And the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, they're trying to go around a place and their guide tells them We can't go through the crevice of the mountains. There's two thieves that are right here. This is their spot So the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, oh that's people I can talk to So he goes between the crevice of the two mountains and he starts calling out to them saying salams You can imagine the two thieves are confused like you know, we're here And you're what what is happening? And they come out and they talk to the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam And he asks them, what are your names and they say, no, we're the two lowlifes I thought they were calling themselves lowlifes. That was the name their tribe gave them. That's how bad this was And the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, but you know in fact, you are dignified And he speaks with them and he tells them i'm going to madina join me in madina. They stopped leaving and became sahaba This is what this love does it sees your potential and says, how can I help you get there? You are in fact an incredible creation of allah subhanahu ta'ala Do not ever let anyone belittle you both in the community and out of the community I want you to know I got kicked out of my fair share of masajid because if you come and tell me women can't pray here They're like, i'm like, oh here Yell at me when i'm done Because my prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said you're not allowed to ban me from the masjid Also, there's this a lot of time and I can't miss it. So yell at me when you're done When we look at these women you wouldn't push them for the sake of allah subhanahu ta'ala and they'd be like Oh, i'm going to give up this space if it's for allah, they're going to do it no matter what Subhanallah, may allah accept from all of us. Sorry for taking so long Allah akbar Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim There the number of questions that are here are mostly related to mental health and things related to not not surprisingly Mashallah but things related that are very important related to Either depression or anxiety or feeling disconnected or feeling like we don't know how to reconnect feeling like iman is low You know just summarizing the various things we have here in this pile and One thing that I wanted to share and I said this during the talk and I said i'm so excited that one of my own teachers and since i was in this year subhanallah because there are so many lessons that That I personally have learned on this topic here and i'll answer i'll come to this in just a moment But one thing that I shared and I just want to remind us I mentioned in the talk that when you feel that there's something really heavy and it's really difficult The question often when you go to the teachers of spirituality or teachers of dean They often will ask What have you done about this so far? And the answer isn't like necessarily step one two and three those are there in practical and important But it's also have you made dua? Have you talked to allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the people close to allah would say if it really Really is that big of a deal for you? Then it's something you get up in the middle of the night and pray about And you make your tahajjud and you call out to allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Otherwise, is it really all that big of a deal? Right and we talked about how the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Would go little by little by little increasing increasing increasing until it became large amounts of time Closer to the prophecy before he got in nabua To ghar hara to do what? To contemplate to do that to fakkur a contemplation people like to use the word meditation We have our own word which is called Contemplative meditation right kind of connecting with allah subhanahu wa ta'ala And all of us have that all day we spent here today. Mashallah together all of us together So we happen to be in the masjid often we're in these conference rooms or other rooms as women And we recommend The concept of erzegah the concept of that spiritual seclusion Having that time alone with allah what I learned from ansai salsan was so beautiful this concept of the pressure cooker Which is that we all for anybody who's used a pressure cooker Ansai would tell us that there is that valve that allows the steam to go out And if you don't have the valve opened what happens to the pressure cooker? It explodes and I remember in my own grandmother's kitchen There was this huge Thing on the ceiling because once she had a pressure cooker that exploded one of the old time ones And she was terrified of it. We'll never use it again. And every time I would hear ansai say the story everything to myself Yes, if you don't have the valve To let the steam out You too will explode regardless of how good Or not good Things have been Even good things cause you to be tired and fatigued and that pressure cooker valve is the ategah It's the time you spend in isolation And we'll also panel to Allah that you spend alone that you beseech him and call to him and connect with him We don't have that many people who do this because I know in every time we've been in that conference hall We talked about ategah and I've asked the room full of women just as much as this room and more How many of you have made ategah in your life? Let's see Yes The hands are more because wallahi in years past it would be one hand two hand three hand out of a hundred women Now we're seeing mashallah more hands because this concept has become more well known But a woman not just a man should also be doing this ategah This kind of spiritual connectedness with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Wallahi these are some of the roots of how do you pick up your iman again? One of the questions was how do I pick up iman again? Talk to Allah Anything that's important for you you make time for it Right You want that degree you want that job you want your kid to do this you want that you want this You want that you want to lose weight you want to work out You make time for it if it's important to you Is this connection important to us? That's the real question because from there then we can build and the rest of the question This is where I'll wrap up inshallah the rest of the answer to the questions about what do I do if I'm feeling depressed? What do I feel affect feeling anxious? What do I do if I You know fill in the blank Connecting with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is where we start the conversation But do you remember the second thing I said about the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam That he had that connectedness with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala when it was heavy He went and isolated and had that time to really rejuvenate But then what else did he do? He asked for help He confided in sitana khadija. He went to her and said I think I'm going crazy He went to her and said I'm scared. He went to her and said I don't know what to do next And as somebody who was able to have the wisdom and guidance She helped guide him in that But so many of us we keep it in we keep it in we keep it in we keep it in and then like the pressure cooker we explode And then that affects us and our children and our children's children and it's a cycle a vicious cycle that just doesn't end So inshallah ta'ala that's those are the beginnings of the steps inshallah There's many more from there But those two will get us very far and they're in direct example of the sunnah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam I have just a few questions here that were related to Topics that That are similar to what I cover in the classes. I was mentioning the purification of the heart and agenda Which are you know how any tips on seeking validation only in allah subhanahu wa ta'ala very difficult to do this age Day and age unfortunately, how do we embody? beauty inwardly and outwardly Without becoming prideful vain or arrogant so relating to spiritual diseases And then other questions as well relating to not caring about what other people think like really prioritizing Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and I think you know as I would Have answered this in one of the classes I would have said we have to focus on Really self purification because I get the day and age that we live in is so focused on the external And as I mentioned in the talk, this is a really toxic message that deduces women to just an object It's objectification. It's exploitation. It's devaluing It's taking away everything that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has raised us with and just focusing on the part of us That is going to go into the ground and literally be warm food So we have to know better that the soul that resides within this Case the shell of a body that we all have is far more important to beautify and that requires Mujahid and nafs. It requires The tesquia process right to actually cleanse yourself and struggle against yourself, right? We mentioned this this even dr. Haifa mentioned the dua right that the kill me illa nafs Tarfa ta'ain, right? Don't leave me to myself even for the blink of an eye because we have to know that self works against us So understanding that we the external pressures are actually not as Don't focus on those if you focus on those it's very hard to manage But if you look inwardly and say I have to reconcile myself, right? My nafs is working against me. My nafs is riddled with disease I have to start cleansing and you don't you know as our martial law physicians on the stage know best You have to diagnose which is why as you know, dr. Haifa mentioned you have to ask those questions Like why am I not doing certain things? What is the barrier? What's what's preventing me? So if we're worried about whether it's prayer or Again being vain and having pride and arrogance you have to get to the heart of what is it that Where's the root of those how did that start and then also know how to identify those diseases, right? This is why learning that this you know the topic of tesquia is a big part of our tradition We have to go back to that learning what the spiritual diseases are Applying the remedies that are offered to us by our great scholars of the past and present And just being in the practice of those things and then as well You know being in spaces like this mashallah with other women. So you don't feel alone shaitan This is one of his tricks, which is also another part of this understanding that iblis is the other You know major threat enemy. We have the nafs. It's the greatest enemy then iblis then dunya and halaf You know this is a shell of the cause of the access of evil You know it's the four evils that we are all they're always orbiting us and they're always either you know around us We have to recognize them, but You know working to with those two especially the nafs and iblis knowing how he works What's his you know, what's his playbook? How does he get into it? So when you read if you don't have the book agenda, uh, they Shermzan imam zed have outlined what they refer to as the eight inroads of the spiritual of the heart, right? What are the access points that iblis gets us to the first one is prayer? Because if we're not vigilant about our prayer, then you know, obviously he's gonna come in He's gonna have full reign He's gonna fill you up with a lot of thoughts and a lot of ideas and just destroy You know it's you know plant those weeds to destroy that spiritual garden of your heart So you have to you know be very, uh mindful of the prayer and then what is it your eyes Your ears your tongue as was mentioned. Washallah all of the beautiful reminders we heard today your hands your feet your Private areas your stomach all of these are inroads. That's how these gets to us So if you don't know how to you know be vigilant how to guard those You don't understand spiritual diseases Then yes, we're gonna unfortunately accumulate disease the same way a person who doesn't watch their diet Who doesn't exercise who isn't mindful of their time starts to accumulate physical diseases? So it's all very very similar But those are the general answers I would give to all of these and once you shift your focus as mashallah And say sosen reminded us beautifully Focus is so key if you don't have your focus on Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and you're worried about people And and numbers and and you know followers and friends and trends and being popular and being accepted Then you're gonna have a very difficult time But if you shift that focus to Allah and start working on you know really healing yourself from within inshallah Allah will give you to fear bed in Allah and just briefly because I forgot to mention this in the talk and it relates to Something that doctor i'm gonna Answered in her question regarding does Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala love me, you know We were reminded many times That there are so many people in our history that are nameless right We don't know their names like you know the the woman who swept the mess shit, right In the time of the prophecy said i'm in the process and was very upset that she had passed And they didn't tell him that she passed he wanted to pray over her But we just know her as you know the woman who swept the mess shit or the hairdresser right and in asya's story This hadid just subhanallah When the prophecy said him was experiencing the israa wal meraaj Okay, he's on the greatest ascent, right? And he's literally this is the highlight the peak of his of his experience, right? I mean in in In that moment. He said a smell came to me He didn't know the smell and he asked it. He said is it like who who what does that smell? Where did that come from? And he said that is the fragrance of the hairdresser Of this story of asya her her fragrance Is in jannah. It's it's throughout jennah. He smelled it. She is significant So a lot of times shaitan makes us feel small and invisible But we have to remember it doesn't matter if people know you and i'm sure i can speak on behalf of everyone here Just because you know you have a public name or a public persona This is insignificant It is does allah subhanahu wa ta'ala do am i prioritizing him? That's all that matters. That's it and if you do that you are very you are known to him He loves you it's a and you'll confirm that for you But don't look at things from these this these uh the lens that this dunya teaches you to see That your value is only placed in your external your beauty how much wealth you have how much money you have Whether you're married whether you have children insignificant Right insignificant. It's all about allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and as i said, you know, there may be many of us who You know in the future. No one will know us, but inshallah allah subhanahu wa ta'ala He of course knows us. He made us so inshallah jizakum allah khir and i'll i'll pass the mic back jizakillah, peace be upon you There is questions different but i'm gonna cover the woman prayer because that's something It's very surprising that we're still in the united states where masajid are open to the woman We don't live in a country where it is not and still some women don't know that the woman can pray in jama'a And i'm not saying about you. I hear this all the time. There's two opinion about that There is one opinion says the woman does not pray in jama'a And that's absolutely respectable opinion. I say this all the time. Who are we to judge these scholars? And there is the other opinion says yes, the woman absolutely and the woman lead them And say dahashi used to lead the woman So if you are of that school or that other schools You're absolutely fine. And the other one which is really i'm glad it was asked. Can we pick up the child? During salah when he's crying my answer, please do Because you are annoying the musalleen and this is harming al musalleen is a sin Absolutely pick up the child and i think you mentioned it in the story of sayidna Sayid al-Faltima he picked up al-Hassan wa al-Hussain he prolonged al-Israat wa as-salam and prolonged his sajdah Because they were on his Shoulder so absolutely you can do that There was a question came in like sheikh mariam spoke about Sayidah mariam is she a prophet? There's a different opinion about that the strongest opinion. She is not It might have been hezm even hezm is al-Bahari school again without going into the Technicality of it. It's it's a school where it goes exactly what the quran say just the external meaning That was it's called al-Bahari But the stronger opinion that she is not prophets were only men and there is The answer why? You know why because Allah said so done Learn this answer ladies when people ask me why you wear your hijab My answer is Allah said so i don't have to explain it Of course i will later on for other reasons but number one. Why do you fast Allah said so Why do you lower your gaze learn this teaches you submission Teaches you to be al-qanatin sayidah mariam. So that's one There's two very strange questions where i have to say it Someone told me and i don't know who told you that When children do ibadah or any good or bad deed listen to this one As a wab with s which means thawab reward goes to the father not to the mother Why is that the reward will go to whoever taught that child A mother a father both an aunt a neighbor Whoever ad-dar al-khayr kafaila you lead teach people to do good. They will get don't let people put this in your mind Lower the style. I don't know how would this even now look at the next one Aid al-atha when we sacrifice animal do use mother name or father name Who are you sacrificing for you put them yeah, but are you sacrificing it if you're doing corbani not in hajj Are you doing it for somebody else? Then you put that name, but there's no need of a mother or a father I think i answered everything The last one am i okay We talked about status of woman in islam how allah subhan-ta'ala Elevated the woman as equal. This is a very important question Why There are there have been such disparity Between the status of man and woman in history and even today Who said so It's always asked this question and you mentioned it beautifully in your talk Karamna bani adam number one Allah elevated the status of a human being That's why I get so offended. I have a cat when somebody look at me and says oh the mother of the cat. I was like No, I really mean because that's very common culture and I was like no karamna bani adam Human being are elevated. You're a human being you're elevated. You're honored. That's number one The status of man and woman it depends. What are you looking culture? That's not dean Learn to separate there is things that man does woman doesn't do indeed. Yes The hikmah there is wisdom. There's needs another whole program about that But as allah elevated your status as a mother. I say this all the time Does the man feel Inferior because you're a mother Why do we feel inferior if we don't do things the man does? Did you get my point don't let this go into you? You have been elevated status by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala Number one as a human being number two as a woman mother or not a mother But in general in his own way subhana and we are equal in the reward and what we are going to be asked about Okay, really really quickly All of the questions I have are about family. I have Given the sacredness of the bond between mother and daughter. What does it mean? Or look like to please Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala why setting boundaries and pulling away from a mother that is abusive and cruel I have another one that is similar How as a muslim woman do you resolve working with the media extended family that are not muslims are not practicing individuals And give us tips on how to raise children. Okay, that's a different question I want to say one thing about family because there's more questions here about family You are stronger than you think you are more powerful than you imagine Take charge Take charge. I don't understand why We There are women that spend half of their lives Waiting to get married and then half of their the second half of their lives complaining about This the person they married if you agreed to go into this relationship Then love this person be kind to this person Contain this person be there for this person make peace in this family The whole idea of family islam is for there to be a peaceful place to raise children If you're not up to it then to start with either don't get married or pull out of a marriage If you if you possibly can do so without without Great disasters happening to all the members You are stronger than you think take charge You are the person that sets the emotional Environment of this family You can make it peaceful You can give this man what they need in order for him not to feel threatened and and aggressive you can Give you can create an environment where the children can grow in a peaceful manner without feeling Like they live in a place that has no walls If you have a strong relationship with Allah your strength where does your strength and power come from from Allah? So if you turn to Allah My mother-in-law had 11 children 10 which lived And one day when my children were giving me a particular hard time I went to her and I said please tell me what is it What is it that you did? What is the secret that you had these 10 very very successful children? five women who are da'iyas five men who are all physicians and Very upright men What did you do and she said come let me show you she said I read lots of books And I heard lots of theories but come let me show you the secret And she took me into her bedroom and she said you see this narrow strip Between my closet and my bed. I said yes. She said I spend hours there praying every night It is dua Connect with Allah and see the power that you have take charge of the family Feel pity and kindness and empathy not pity empathy for this cruel mother Why is she cruel what kind of a life did she have that she would be cruel to her child? so you're gonna you you want to I mean hold a grudge against someone that Is is is denying you the most spontaneous and natural feeling ever Take charge Make the places that you live in and the places that are around you happy places Peaceful places places where Allah subhanahu ta'ala Has ridah upon you. Thank you Happy news update Uh sister edaline who is in charge I believe of Convert care here at mcc has contacted sister liz and sister julie sister liz is in oakland sister Um julie is in sacramento and I think they've taken their shahadas by now because it's been some minutes So So, it's always nice To end a program that way. I wish they were here Yes, I wish they were here so that we can hug and kiss them and give them All our love and ask for their du'a as if we're still listening One person This he said this to say idna ali Way better than all the Heard of a red camel which is very expensive these days May Allah reward everyone who put any effort in this This is not because of the speakers only out of billa. No This is because of the idea number one. Allah stufiq number two the place the the board member the rahmah foundation Gemna institute the speakers but most importantly You and I will end this. That was a kick from Allah. It's the sattq fi tala billah when you are sincere in pleasing Allah See what he gives you Did we expect this did we came to plan this you have tahlaki? He opens to you from where you don't know have this faith and see what wonders if he guides through one One day these people he will guide your children and will he guide many other people What we look at him we need to do such a good the end for to Allah I have one more piece of happy news. Masha'Allah One of our dear local teachers And sani had some of you may know her masha'Allah is currently in medina minawara Currently visiting the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam And was messaging with sister sabine earlier and knew that we were gathered here And so she relayed salam to the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam directly to From on behalf of us directly to him Sallallahu alaihi wasallam may Allah bless and increase and allow us all to be joined there Insha'Allah next time gathered there visiting him and visiting insha'Allah that Sallallahu alaihi wasallam Thank you If you want to partake in the planning of this event All you have to do is take your chair And put it back in the conference room and you are an organizer of this event insha'Allah taking The blessing of the shahadas and the knowledge that was imparted today Um, but we are going to do closing dua and then marab insha'Allah I asked yes I Don't do this in public