 Item number SCP-3494 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures Contained instances of SCP-3494 are to be held in a secure anomalous item locker at Site-40. Foundation agents embedded in local law enforcement agencies in the Newark, New Jersey area are to monitor local television stations for SCP-3494 advertisements, removing them when possible. Additionally, Mobile Task Force ROW-900, codenamed Gutbusters, are to search for and contain instances of SCP-3494 and administer amnestics to those with knowledge of SCP-3494. Individuals who have been administered a dose of SCP-3494 are to be held at the Site-40 Anomalous Waste Management Center in specialized waste removal cells until such time as a remedy to their condition is made available. Research into the person of interest known as DADDO is ongoing. Description SCP-3494 is the collective name for a group of anomalous pharmaceuticals advertised as Superlax by DADDO. Unlike previous anomalous drugs manufactured by the individual known as DADDO, SCP-3494 is marketed to the population directly, usually through television ads consisting of a white screen with black text that is spliced into other advertisements during daytime hours. The source of these advertisements is unknown. SCP-3494 instances are cream-colored tablets, roughly 1.1 cm in length, and are delivered to customers in a zipper bag with the words Superlax by DADDO, written on its exterior in black marker. A typed note on standard Xerox paper within the bag indicates that SCP-3494 is a laxative and is, quote, the last anti-poop you will ever need or want, end quote. SCP-3494 has also been advertised in a cream form, quote, to apply directly to problem but whole, end quote. Individuals who are not currently experiencing constipation who are administered a dosage of SCP-3494 are unaffected by the drug, although few have experienced a sudden numbness in the lower gut that lessens over time. However, any individuals who are currently constipated will experience the apparent intended effective SCP-3494, which is the seemingly never-ending expulsion of fecal matter from the subject's anus. While subjects who experience this effect do not otherwise feel any discomfort, they are also powerless to control the expulsion of waste matter. The waste is seemingly generated from an extra-spatial area somewhere within the subject, as not only will the amount of waste produced quickly exceed the subject's body weight, but tested samples of this waste indicate that, after the initial expulsion of waste, all other samples contained human biological material that did not match the subject's genetic profile. So far, all subjects who have been administered a dosage of SCP-3494 are continuing to experience the effects of SCP-3494. There is currently no known method by which to abate these effects. All known afflicted subjects have been moved to the Site-40 Waste Management Facility to help control the flow of waste. Addendum 3494.1 Hotline Communication Advertisements for SCP-3494 often reference a toll-free phone number, 1-800-IM-DADDO, that can be used to order additional dosages of SCP-3494. The following is the transcript from phone calls made by Foundation agents to this number. Begin Agent Mills Log Yes or no? You have reached DADDO? Yes. Home of fine DADDO product and also laundry in turn. How am I can be help you? I… Yes. I'm Agent Mills of… No, I am not interested in your product. Please yes. Do not come back. Thank you. And Log Begin Agent Western Log Yes or no? This is DADDO you are speaking to. Home of fine DADDO product and also laundry in turn. How helpful can I to you be? Yes. Hi. My name is Pat Demure and I saw your advertisement for the Superlax on the TV and I am intrigued. I'm thinking about pulling the trigger, but before I do, I just want to get some more information. Ah yes, very good. Well, you know I need to pull trigger. No gun allowed at laundry in turn, of course. But yes, I help with Superlax. Best lax on market currently. 100% removal of walkage. Get it all out. Best remedy for what else? How many I order for you? Now, one moment. I have a few questions myself. But now a friend of mine took some of your Superlax and they've experienced what I might describe as an excessive waste with… Yes. …considerable waste. Blow out the poop shoe. Clean it all out. Yes. Very effective remedy. I see. Yes. But she felt like maybe not all the waste was hers. Yes, that is correct. You mean that's intended? Yes. Why would that ever be intended? Well, you see, that is very simple, of course. Before Datto makes his fine Superlax, he conducts a clinical trial with Focus Group. Focus Group is said to Datto, need to get it all out. Clean out all the poop. So Datto considers this and Datto would think there is many poop in the world. Yes. How best to get it out? Well, fortunately for Datto, Datto is the best vocal ever thinker. You have run in the Uber. Yes. Like the ride-sharing service? Uh, yes. Yes, exactly. So you all ride from someone who is not you, who you outsource right. Yes. Now you don't need to do the transport of yourself. The transport is done for you. I don't think I could quite think how best to get out the poop. Then Datto realized, like the Uber, outsourced the poop. There is many poop in the world, however. So yes, perhaps flow of the poop is more than intended. But more people take the Superlax, yes, and more people share the poop. Like the Uber and no block. Poop should as clean as Whistler. Very helpful, yes. You trust Datto, you get considerate relief. I see. You are satisfied with response. Yes, this I see. Now, how many of the Superlax can you ordering? Is there any chance I could get a hold of a list of people who have purchased- Aha! I slew you out. You are supplier of opposition to Datto. Uninterested in second-hand non-DATTO product. I add you to block call on phone. End log. Additional phone calls made by Foundation agents to the number listed in the advertisement have been unsuccessful. Site 42 is able to continue broadcasting and move up to live-action SCP film adaptations due to the support of viewers, subscribers, and especially our patrons. Special shout out to our Site Director-level patron, Andre Bechert.