 I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man, and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Yes, boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Pock the Comic Weekly, straight into your living room, your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. Hello, hello, hello. Little Miss Ani, how are you today? I'm wonderful. Well, that's wonderful. As a matter of fact, it's just marvelous. You funny man. Very well. What man never does a day's work in his life? Off doesn't work. Hoped you're on the wrong track. I'll tell you, it's a night watcher. Oh, that's nice. That's why it's never in the day. Yeah. Funny. Pock the Comic Weekly? Yes. Very well, I will in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Here we go again with Pock the Comic Weekly. And on top of the first page, Snuckum, snuckum, snuckum. Very well, since you're so eager, Beaver. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Diddle-de-da, diddle-de-do. We go make a mukum. Let's have a little tune for little Snuckums. Today, a man is trying to sell Archie an accident policy, which guarantees Archie that if he becomes hurt through an accident, the insurance company will pay him the money for doctor bills. Archie sits in his chair in the living room talking to the salesman. And he says, you see, I've never had an accident. You see? And suddenly, Snuckum's toy airplane buzzes straight at Archie, last picture top row, and knocks him in the head. Well, no sooner does Archie sit up than first picture bottom row, a ball sails through the air, and bounces off Archie's head. Then onto the salesman head. No sooner do they settle it again down to business, then Snuckum's train whizzes across the floor and hits the salesman on the foot. Oh! Last picture, the salesman walks out of the house angrily. He yells back at Archie. You really ought to have an accident policy, but not with my company. And Archie asked, but why? And the salesman takes a look at Snuckum standing there with two guns in his hands. And instead of answering, dashes down the road. Yes, Archie spoke a little too soon when he said that he never had accidents in their house. Yes, he said he did have a lot of them happen all at once. From now on when Archie has business callers, he better sit underneath a net. Sitting under a net? Well, no. Oh, over the page we go to Flash Gordon, because he's on a strange planet. And Flash's rocket ship and gun melted before the Ray Wizard's magic rays. So Flash is on the planet without anything to protect himself. Yes, and Queen Suni like Flash, but the Ray Wizard has made her turn Flash over to him. So now read so we can see what the Wizard is going to do with Flash. Very well, here we go with Flash Gordon. Rega rega doon doon, saskimatage. Let's have music for heroic Flash. Wizard is going to execute Flash for having brought metal to the planet. Flash is taken to the Wizard's Ray vaults for execution. Hidden Bowman will shoot him if he steps off the dais before the executioner emerges from the fiery Ray vault. Curso the Ray Wizard smiles. Their only chance for life is to conquer the executioner and nobody ever has. Flash is left alone in the execution chamber. He peers through the fiery vault, trying to see the executioner. Last picture top row, the Wizard executioner looms through the Ray vault. Flash, unarmed, tries desperately to grab him. The Wizard laughs as Flash's hand clutches only the searing fog wisps. First picture bottom row, behind soundproof one-way glass. Dale vainly tries to warn Flash of the danger behind him, while the executioner has slipped around behind Flash and moves soundlessly to strike. While Flash gropes futile for the enemy, he thinks is hidden in the Ray fog. Suddenly, Flash has a hunch that the Ray fog is only a trick to distract his attention. Whirling quickly, he catches the stalking executioner by surprise and knocks him down. And last picture, Flash has the executioner's club in his hand in his master of the situation. Soon he points out that Flash has won and demands that Curso, the magician, let Flash go free. Curso replies angrily. Yes, Flash is free. But your life and crown are forfeited if he breaks my Ray lords. And the girl, Dale, must still face a Ray or Dale. Yes, I'm afraid so. Well, yeah. Well, let's hope so. Now, let's go across the page of Dixie Dentures because they're so wonderful because Dick is dreaming he's in the early days of America. When America was just a young, young country even before it had a flag. Well, every country should have a flag. Yes, and today's story is about our country's flag. Oh, goodie, quickly please. Very well then. Here we go with Dick's adventures and say the magic words with me. Riggity-pack-a-zack-a-zack. Write some music for adventureless Dick. Back go the centuries. And Dick, dreaming, finds himself in Philadelphia in the great days of 1776. Gosh, here we are fighting against the king all the 13 states together, and we haven't even got a flag. Dick is walking down the street carrying a package. One hears a voice behind him saying, don't lose that package you're carrying, Corporal. And come along. Dick looks up and exclaims, yes. Oh, it's General Washington. Where are we going, I wonder? Last picture top roll, they stop before a door and Washington knocks saying, here we are. Dick looks up at the sign above the door and reads, Betsy Ross, upholsterer. Betsy Ross. And a moment later, they're inside the house. Washington has unwrapped the package. First picture, next row, and is showing the contents to Betsy Ross. To Dick's amazement, the package he was carrying contains the sketch for the first American flag. Washington says, the Continental Congress approves your design, ma'am. I've taken the liberty of revising it a little. 13 stars, 13 stripes, red, white, and blue. Betsy Ross promises to try to make a flag just like the drawing. And then she tells him that he's changed the shape of the stars, that they're six-pointed, and that they should be five-pointed. George Washington replies, last picture of the row. Yes, yes, of course, of course. Well, do it your way, ma'am, by all means. And George Washington and Dick leave. First picture, bottom row, some days later, Betsy Ross comes to General Washington. A large package under her arm, Dick exclaims, Hey, you mean you're finished making it, Mrs. Ross? And he takes her into Washington's headquarters. There, Betsy Ross unwraps the package, and then holds up a big, beautiful flag with 13 stars on a blue field to signify the first 13 states that were the United States when the country was formed. And she says, gentlemen, the American flag. George Washington looks at a project George Washington looks at it proudly and exclaims, Wrong may it waive. Last picture, Dick says proudly, It'll be waving 175 years from now, more glorious than ever, sir. I know it. And George Washington looks at Dick and exclaims, Hmm, what's that good room? But Dick doesn't answer. He's looking far ahead in the future, which he knows so well, and thinking of the flag, which he loves so well. It's a beautiful story. Yes, it certainly is. And it's a beautiful flag. And I know what all the stars are. They still mean things. You're absolutely right. And the stripes mean the first 13 states to become the United States. Oh, I love Dick's adventures because you learn such interesting things about America. Yes, you do. And next week will be some more interesting American history. But now? Oh, look, underneath Dick's adventures, there's Rusty Rally. And this is something I've been worried about because Rusty is in a very dangerous spot. Yes, he could be. He and Patty have gone out on a motorboat, out on the inlet offshore. And the engine stopped, and it's after dark, and some bad old crooks in another boat are coming right to the place where Rusty is. Well, let's read now and see what happens in the story of the smugglers and Rusty Rally. Gallop and Run Till the Road is Dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. In the boat, Rusty says to Patty, I'm pretty dumb all right. There's nothing wrong with the engine. There just isn't any gas left. And he notices that the boat's beginning to drift a little. And he exclaims, Collie, the tide's turned. I better throw the anchor up before we drift out of the inlet to the open sea. And he tosses the anchor overboard and hopes for the best. It's grown darker. Suddenly, Patty hears a boat coming toward them. She hopes it's someone coming after them. Rusty exclaims, yeah, I hear it too. Well, whoever they are, I guess they'll give us a tow if they come near enough to hail. Last picture top row, Patty is just about to yell to the strange boat when Rusty exclaims, hey, stop their engine. Hey, Collie, that's queer. They're running without lights. They keep quiet a minute and see what they're up to. First picture bottom row, they hear a voice on the strange boat saying, get out the black light, Carby. Clones, lobster pots are close by here. Rusty whispers, Collie, you hear that, Patty? They must be lobster thieves. Then he hears the voice again. All right, Carby. Weng the black light over this way. They've got to get rid of four of these babies before any snoopers come around. Carefully, Rusty watches to see what the thugs are up to, hoping they don't see him. Meanwhile, at a dock not far away, a Coast Guard boat stands by the wharf. One of the men is saying to Mr. Kilgore, oh, look out at the point. Just reported a strange boat in the inlet, Mr. Kilgore. The Treasury agent who had visited Mr. Miles says, come on, let's look it over. Mr. Kilgore gets in the boat and away they go. Last picture of the row, the Coast Guard cruiser approaches the smuggler's boat. Mr. Kilgore yells to him, ahoy, cruiser. This is the Coast Guard. Stand by. We're coming aboard. The smuggler's answer. Come ahead, Coast Guard. We're just looking for a spot to anchor. Yes, and it looks like they got there in time. What is what the smuggler said, wasn't it? Yes. Well, maybe next week we'll find out more about that black light. Oh, it sounds so mysterious, doesn't it? Well, now? Oh, now it's just. Yes, as it is. Go over the page past little iodine, who gets into trouble again, and past Snuffy Smith, who has a pig named Deftrim, and is so happy about it, he cries. Then go over the page past Ripley, and over to page six to Donald Duck. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first here is that man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on top of page six of the first section, Donald Duckle, good for a chuckle. Say the magic words for the music with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegee-chicka-chack. Let's have music to fit a quack-quack. Donald is reading the newspaper. Suddenly he exclaimed, wow, wow, time to get busy. What's he going to get busy about? Wait for the next picture. All right, I'll wait. Donald is on the phone, and he's saying, And send it out right away. And the man on the phone replies, Okay, Mr. Duck. What's going to be sent out? Wait till the next picture. All right, I'll wait. Donald looks out the window, and he sees something outside. Ah, here it is. Outside the house is a great big truck, loaded with huge pipes. And Donald exclaims, Okay, man, I'll show you what to left. The man starts to unload it. Last picture top row, Donald tells him, Now start right here with the card one. First picture bottom row, Donald tells him, Okay, the next one right here. A half hour later, the men are through with their work. As Donald pays them their money, the truck driver says, Okay, Mac, but that's a silly place to put a pipe. Donald replies, Come back in January, pal, and see how silly it is then. Some time later, Donald is in his house. He looks out of the window and exclaims, Why, oh boy, look at it come down. Last picture we see Donald's front yard. The snow is coming down curiously, Leading up from Donald's sidewalk to the front door is the huge pipe. While inside the house, Donald with a big grin in his face, looks at the walk, which he won't have to shovel. Oh, to the sidewalk. And now he won't have to walk through the snow to get to his mailbox. Yes, he just walks through the pipe, and of course the snow can't get in there. No, that's right. Wasn't he smart? Yes, this is one time Donald came out ahead. Well now, what'd you say? Bang, bang, Clippity Cluck. Well what does that mean? Roy Rogers. Oh, how silly of me, I should have known. Please read that, because Roy has caught the runaway horse that belongs to his friend, Shelby Walden. Yes, the horse with a map of the gold mine in its shoe. And then those two crooks are after him because they want to get that map too. So please read Roy and see if they do. Very well, over we go to the last page of the first section of Puck the Comic Weekly. And here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Ha-yip-a-yo, now here we go with Roy and Trigger. Ha-yip-a-yo. Ha-yip-a-yo. Roy gallops into Sagebrush Bend into the livery stable where his friend and the girl named Doc Reynolds wait for him. He jumps off Trigger saying, claim jumpers who want the mine map hidden in your horse's shoe are right behind me, Chubby. I'll pry off the hollow shoe so you can grab your map. Then we'll tie the horses outside Doc's workshop. Doc Reynolds tells Roy to hurry because the crooks are in sight. First picture next row, she asks Roy why he's led the crooks to her museum because there's nothing in there but wax dummies of men dressed like cowboys. There'd be no help. Roy ties Trigger outside and tells her with a twinkle in his eye. Don't argue, Doc. Reynolds, come on. Get inside. Not a second too soon because Beaker and Shorty guns in hand, gallop up and rain in outside. Beaker exclaims, there's Roger's horse in the red robe. As they dismount, Beaker draws his gun and heads for the inside of the barn. Shorty asks, hey, how about the gullmine map in your own shoe? That's what we want. Beaker replies, don't be a fool. They've taken it out, come on. Last picture of the row, guns in hand. Shorty and Beaker step in the door. They see several men, guns in hand, facing them. A voice suddenly calls. Hands up, you galutes. Me and the boys got you covered. Beaker exclaims, what a trap. Blast him, Shorty. Suddenly, first picture bottom row from behind. Beaker hears Roy's voice. Ruff your guns, gents. Those dummies are harmless, but I'm not. Beaker and Shorty drop their guns. Beaker exclaims, you tricked us. But we ain't through yet, Rogers. And at that moment, Chubby pops up from behind the stand, shun, exclaiming, oh, no. When the sheriff hears, oh, you're tossed me off that cliff and try to jump my mind and claim you'll be through for good. Beaker exclaims in surprise. Chubby, you alive. Last picture, Roy, leading the two crooks. Their hands tied behind them, mounted on their horses, says to Chubby, you better get your gold strike recorded at the county seat while I herd these hombres to jail, Chubby. And Chubby grins and waves, OK, Roy. And I'm in a finance-dark Reynolds museum with my first polka dash by Gash. When Beaker came into that museum and saw those wax dummies dressed like cowboys, why, he thought they were real men. Yes, and well, he. Yes, that was very, very clever. Yes, it was. Now would you please read Dagwood and Blondie? I certainly will, and here they are on the first page of the second section of Puck the Comic Weekly. So here we go with Dagwood and Blondie. Ram-a-foo, Ram-a-fum, Zim-Zim-Zombie, Conjury Music for Dagwood and Blondie. A delivery boy comes up to Dagwood at the office and says, I'm from the shoe store. Here are Mr. Dithers' new shoes. Dagwood points to Mr. Dithers saying, well, that's him in the office. A moment later, Mr. Dithers has tried on the new shoes and immediately his feet begin to hurt. Mr. Dithers moans, ow, ow, they're too tight. They're killing me. Dagwood clasps his hand so fluently and says, I'll be happy to break them in for you, Mr. Dithers. So he tries on the shoes last picture top row, saying happily, I like to do favors for people, especially my boss. Mr. Dithers leans his head on Dagwood's shoulder affectionately saying, ah, Dagwood, dear boy. You're a jewel. I love you as though you were my own son. But the shoes are tight for Dagwood, too. In first picture next row, out in the park, he takes them off and hands them to a hobo whose clothes are all in rags. And he says, I'll give you a buck if you walk around the park three times with these shoes on. The hobo's delighted at the thought of making a dollar so easily. He puts on the shoes, but immediately his feet begin to hurt. And after he takes three steps, he groans. Oh, no, I can't do it. I can't do it. Oh, these shoes must have been made for Cinderella. In next picture, he gives the shoes back to Dagwood. And Dagwood puts them on. And of course, his feet begin to hurt again. Dagwood groans last picture of the row. Oh, I'll take them home and see what I can do with them. First picture bottom row, Dagwood's at home, trying to soften the shoes so they won't hurt Mr. to the street. Blondie says, first we'll soak them in hot, soapy water. And Dagwood hammers away at the shoes, saying, yeah, and then pound them soft with this mallet. Then Dagwood holds ones of the shoes while Alexander pulls at the other end with a pair of ice tongs, saying, yeah, we stretch them with these ice tongs. And Blondie says, I'll take them. I'll pour olive oil on them. And Dagwood says, whoa! And they stretch the shoes. Last picture of the row, Dagwood's on his way to the office wearing the shoes, but now have holes in the toes and holes in the heels. And they look all battered up. And Dagwood says cheerfully, ah, and just as soft and comfortable as kid gloves, Mr. Dithers will be so happy. At this moment at the office, the delivery boy dashes in. And he says, oh, Mr. Dithers, I brought you the wrong shoes. Here are the ones you bought. Mr. Dithers, who is sitting there without any shoes on his feet, exclaims, oh, no, no, no. Now, second later, in walks Dagwood holding up the shoes which he's broken in. They're all battered and torn to pieces. And he says, here are your shoes, all broken in like I promised. The delivery boy looks at the shoes and says, ah, that'll cost you $22, Mr. Dithers. Last picture, Dagwood is tied up in the boss's chair. And Mr. Dithers is beating him up with the other pair of new shoes, saying with a devilish grin on his face, this is the best way to break in a pair of shoes. Yes, it just goes to show that very often all of our good intentions just get us into trouble. You know, I guess that's why some people just won't help anybody else. Yes, maybe that's so. But then they call those people selfish. Yes, that's true. Oh, what to do? Yes, these decisions are terrible, aren't they? Yes, they certainly are. Well, I know one thing we won't have any trouble deciding on. Yes, I do too. Prince Valiant, please. And he is on the last page of the comic there, so let's turn over, please. Very well. Prince Valiant and his friends have come to a strange castle. And I'm anxious to see who lives there. Well, here we go on the last page with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Hecket, breaket, gray mulkin and quints, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. Still on his long journey to Christendom, Prince Valiant and his friends are fortunate, for they arrive at sunset before a fair castle that promises food and shelter for the night. The drawbridge is lowered for them, and last picture, top row, they enter. But ere the gates can close, a lone horseman gallops up, and the rider leaps off his horse and runs swiftly into the castle, saying nothing to Valiant or his friends. After their horses have been stable, Valiant and his friends are taken in the castle too, and as they are dusty from their ride, first picture, next row, towels, and a basin of scented water are brought, and they refresh themselves. Then, after a long wait, the Lord of the castle receives them. If he's surprised at the ball-headed appearance of his guests, he's too courteous to show it. As Valiant and his friends stand before him, the Lord tells them, first picture, bottom row, noble sirs, I am honored to have you accept my hospitality this night, but at dawn you must leave, for I have just received warning that my enemies are marching to attack. Next morning at dawn, they thank their host and mount, but the departure is delayed, but suddenly, last picture, the meadow beyond the gate of the castle is swarming with armed men, and more are arriving every minute. The attack has come. Fight the battle. Yes, and if everyone in the castle is being attacked, it means val too. Yes, thank Valiant. Yes, just shows what easy will get you. Now don't worry, I'm sure Prince Valiant will be a big help in defeating the enemy. Oh, I'm sure too, because he's a hero. Yes, he is. Well, now that's all the time I have, but before I go, here's that fellow with some more interesting information. Well, honey, and all your boys and girls, I've got to go now. All right, Mr. Comic Bigly Man, but I'll be waiting for you next week. Okay, that's a date, and a date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly. For I'm the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man. I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honeys. Don't forget, boys and girls, see you all next week. Your friend the Comic Weekly Man, the Jolly Comic Weekly Man.