 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft Cheese Company, makers of parquet margarine, and a complete line of famous quality food products, presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore with the music by Claude Sweet. We'll air from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. You know that there's a spread for bread that's made by Kraft and that it's called parquet margarine? Well, sure you do, most everyone knows that. But you know why this spread for bread that's made by Kraft and is called parquet margarine tastes so good? Well, it's that fresh, delicate flavor that makes parquet taste so good. And you know that every pound of this spread for bread that's made by Kraft and is called parquet margarine and tastes so good contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Well, then listen to more good news. This nourishing spread for bread that's made by Kraft and is called parquet margarine and tastes so good and contains vitamin A. Also is one of the most economical energy foods you can buy. So, enough said. Tomorrow ask your dealer for delicious nourishing parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft and our friend the Great Gilder Sleeve in Summerfield. The town is suffering from a long, dry heat wave, I'm sorry to say. And Gilder Sleeve, like the rest of the fat men, is suffering more than his share. We find him not breakfast with his family, considerably past the time when he should be downtown in his office at the water department. He's hot. Lee Roy, could I have the newspaper, please? In just a second. Oh, you mustn't disturb him, Uncle Mort. He's reading the funnies. Well, I want to read the war news. Lee Roy? Nothing new. Patton went through a couple more countries. Lee Roy, I... Who's that? I'll go and see. Who's that? We'll take care of it, Bertie. Well, good morning, Marjorie. Is your uncle still here? Oh, yes, he's been very slow this morning. Come on in. Thank you. Come in. Take off your coat. Relax. Oh, I'm perfectly comfortable. Thank you. He's bothering you. Must be wonderful to be skinny. What's on your mind? Have you seen the morning paper? Not yet. I haven't been able to get it away from Lee Roy. But, my George, I... Really? I'm a little Lee Roy. Here. Let me read you the item, Gilder. You will love this. Well? Mayor Cyrus J. Williger was the victim of a freak accident last night when his car skidded on State Highway 47 where it passes the Summerfield Reservoir. The mayor suffered minor lacerations and contusions. Yeah, too bad, wasn't it? Investigation of the cause of the accident led to the discovery that a number of live eels were leaving the reservoir. Eels? They were crossing the highway at this point and it is thought the mayor's car skidded on striking the procession of slippery creatures. Eels? If you ask me, the mayor was full of root beer. Well, what were the eels doing walking across the road? You know, come to think of it, there's an old belief that when eels leave a pond, it means it's going dry. That's nothing but a superstition. Eels. Why the Summerfield Reservoir is full of water. Always has been. All things ridiculous. Maybe I'd better get down to the office and look into this. Bessie, I can't see him. There's one man that's been waiting for quite a while. I don't care. Here's his card. All right. Professor Luther T. Berry. Rainologist. Send him away. Send him away, Bessie, and get me Charlie Anderson on the phone. Charlie Anderson? Yes, Bessie. The engineer out at the reservoir. Oh, he's one of the people that's waiting to see you. Well, show him in. E-God, what's the matter with you, Bessie? By George, I'm going to have to let her go. Well, commissioner, you sure keep backwards always. I've been sitting out there since 8.30 waiting to see you. Where have the tickets? No, Charlie. Leave us alone, please, Bessie. Yes, sir. Charlie, what's the water situation out at the reservoir? How's she holding up? That's what I come in to see you about. We're put in there dry. Well, you're a fine engineer. If the reservoir is that low, I didn't you warn me. Warn you? I've been sending your report on it every day for a month. Did you read them? Well, I... Let me see. Would they be in the in-basket or the out-basket? Oh, here they are in the immediate action file. Well, quite a few of them here. Well, I sent you 20 or 30. Oh, yeah, well, let's see. According to the most recent, the water is down to 18. Is that feet? No, it's inches. Oh, my goodness. Yeah, if she drops another three inches, the intake pipe on the pump will be out of water. What happens then? What do you think happens? We pump air. Folks will be taking baths in there. They'll be washing their clothes in there. They'll be... Yeah, I understand, Charlie. But why can't we lower the intake pipe a few inches? Can't you do that? No, you can't. Lower it three inches and you'll be pumping mud. Folks will be taking baths in mud. They'll be... Yeah, they'll be washing their clothes. Yeah, that's all right. Well, Charlie, we've got to keep calm. Oh, Mr. Youngster. That busted what do you want? So, did the commissioner say we wanted to be disturbed? No, Charlie. We did. Which privacy, Bessie? What is it? Well, the mayor just called. He wants to see you right away. Well, you tell that fathead to go take a run at the shop. Oh, no, Charlie. Under the circumstances, I think I'd better go and see him. Pretty hot today, isn't it? I'll be with you in just a moment. Yes, sir. Pardon me. Keep me standing here, the petty bureaucrat. Miss Riggs, have you got those tax figures for last year? They're trying to make themselves look important. Well, if you'll just call me when you haven't, please. Put them on your head. Yes. Now, give the sleeve. Thank you. I'm sorry to hear about your little accident last night. Well, it may have been a blessing in disguise. It's called my attention to the state of things out of the reservoir. Well, I certainly hope you don't believe that old superstition about the eels leaving a sinking pond, your honor. Amusing theory, though, isn't it? Very amusing. But what are the facts? The facts? Yes. Is the town in danger of going dry or not? Well, I wouldn't want to say we're in danger, but at the same time... Yes? Well, I wouldn't want to make a definite statement without getting all the facts. Well, confirm it, get the facts. I want a complete report. Well, I... And I want it in 48 hours. 48 hours? Why, that's only three days! It's two days! Can I count on it? You count on it, your honor. I'll make it my personal responsibility. Very well. For your own sake, I hope the report is satisfactory. Yes, sir. One thing more, you'll just leave. Yes, your honor? I wouldn't want you to think all this has anything to do with the fact that you ran against me from there. It hasn't. There's nothing whatsoever. I'm simply doing my duty, as I see it. You understand that, don't you? Oh, yes, your honor. Eurocratic oldies with small times of titteriness. Well, thank you, your honor. Thank you. Let's see. To begin with, there's no water. Hmm. We'll have to find a better way to say it than that. Oh, well. Yeah, something's leaking. What? Who? What? You've got a moment, friend. Who are you? Well, you have my car there. Professor Luther T. Berry. Oh, there, Bessie. What are you doing in my office? Oh, that I'll explain, friend. That I... Hey, wait a minute. What are you locking that door for? Well, what I have to explain is of a scientific nature. Huh? Mm-hmm. And in the ears. Maybe listening. No, look here. I'm a busy man. Oh, for my friend. But if you would give me just five minutes of your time... Well, what do you want? Tell me, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve, what would a cloudburst be worth for you right now? Cloudburst? Mm-hmm. How would you like it if it rained cats and dogs tomorrow and just kept right on raining? You mean you can make it rain? That's what I mean, friend. That's what I mean. Oh, brother. Oh, wait a minute. Look, I'm a busy man. I haven't got time to listen to any nonsense. Ah! Mm-hmm. I seem to detect a little note of skepticism. Only natural, of course. There are charlatans even in this business. But let me ask you. You've heard of Benjamin Franklin. Certainly I've heard of Benjamin Franklin. And I've heard of Alexander Hamilton, too. And Thomas Jefferson. Oh, yeah. Oh, well. I get around. No. Well, now let me tell you. Franklin proved, that is, if you remember, that thunderstorms produce electricity. Is that right? Well, I guess so. Mm-hmm. Very well. Then why shouldn't electricity produce thunderstorms? Well, I don't know. Why shouldn't it? No reason at all, friend. No reason at all. Now, I have patented an electronic device which does just that. It generates high-tension electrical charges which are transmitted by means of a reverse lightning rod to the clouds up above. Mm-hmm. Gradually, the potential is built up there until it's sufficient to cause a discharge. In other words, lightning, lightning. Mm-hmm. The lightning breaks the atmospheric tension causing precipitation. You follow me? Oh, yeah, yeah. Now, if you'd care to see my credentials, here are some newspapers. Very interesting. Very interesting. But there's one thing I'd like to ask. Yes? How much do you charge for this? How's that? I say, how much do you charge? There's no charge. No. That is as such. No. My interest in this is purely scientific. Well, fine. In that case... All I require is an advance payment of $500. $500? To help defray expenses. Good day, professor. Oh, now wait just a minute. I've wasted all the time I'm going to. You better think it over, friend. And don't call me friend. Good day. I still say you better think it over. What am I thinking of? I ought to have my head examined. A rain maker. Let's get back to this report. Hey, no water. By George, if that fellow could make it rain. After all, they laughed at Edison. They laughed at Marconi. Uh, professor. Come back here, friend. The gilder sleeve will be with us again in just a few seconds. You know, most of us like to eat bread at every meal. Whether you prefer it as crunchy toast as a plain slice from a golden-crusted loaf or as rolls and muffins, you're sure to enjoy bread at its best when spread with delicious parquet margarine. Craft makes parquet margarine, so naturally you'd expect parquet to taste extra good. They have a fine, delicate flavor that really satisfies. And remember, parquet is more than just a good tasting spread. It's a splendid energy food, one of the best you can eat. Equally important, craft fortifies parquet so that every pound contains 9,000 units of essential vitamin A. So for good nutrition and real flavor enjoyment too, buy and serve parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y. This economical, nutritious spread for America's bread requires only two ration points a pound. So ask for parquet, the quality margarine that's made by craft. Back to the great gilder sleeve who really seems to be on the spot. His aspiration is contracted for the services of Professor T. Berry, the eminent rainmaker. But he's keeping very quiet about it. We find him now on his way home from the office seeking solace in the company of his old friend and family pharmacist, Mr. Peabee. Hello, Peabee. Oh, man, hot enough for you? Don't mention the weather, Peabee, please. Excuse me, there's a fly on that table behind you. I wonder if you'd be good enough to... Here's the flyer. Darn flies, they get all over everything. Always buzzing around. It's like Mark Twain said, everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Peabee, how much longer do you think this dry spell can last? Well, that's hard to say, Mr. Gilder sleeve. Hard to say. But you know, they tell me, the people who've been out there, they tell me it's got so bad the eels are leaving your reservoir. Well, that was in the newspaper. Don't tell me you believe all that stuff about eels. Oh, no, no, no, no, it's pretty hard to fool an eel. Eels are pretty slick. Yes, they're pretty slippery, too. But that doesn't mean any more than you and I do. Yeah, no, I wouldn't say that. An eel can be wrong, you know. Have you ever known an eel to be wrong? I've never known an eel. Let's forget about eels if you don't mind, I don't like them. Squeamish? I'm not squeamish, I just don't like them. Peabee, tell me something. Do you believe that science can produce rain? Mr. Gilder sleeve, you weren't thinking... Well, I'm asking this for a friend. You see, I have this friend, he happens to be a water commissioner, too. Lives over in, well, I forget the name of the town. But they have a little problem over there. No water. Well, anyway, to make a long story short, Peabee, this friend of mine, the water commissioner, he discovered a scientist who claims he can manufacture rain. Now, my friend wants to know if such a thing is possible. And your friend asking me? I'm asking you, my friend asked me. What do you think? Well, I don't know any more about it than my friend, but you make things in your back room there, do you know about science and stuff? I'm afraid making a few ounces of barley water is a little different from making a cloud burst. That's a pretty large prescription. I didn't say you could do it, but do you think it can be done? That's what I want to know. I mean, my friend does. Well, I'd be the last to say anything was impossible. After all, look at your fountain pen. But there's one word of advice I'd give your friend, if you see him. Oh, I'll be seeing him. Well, tell him that if this scientist brings up the question of payment... Well, come to think of it, I believe my friend said the fellow wanted $500 for the job. $500? That's a lot of money in any kind of weather. You're telling my friend? Well, my advice would be to pay the man after he produced the rain, not before. I wish my friend had thought of that. If you ask me, Mr. Gillesleve, it sounds as if your friend were a little soft in the head. Now, listen! My friend is just as smart as you are any day of the week, and don't you forget it. Goodbye, P.P. Goodbye, Mr. Gillesleve. Oh, and my regards to your friend. I heard your alarm go off. Where are you going, Uncle? Nowhere. Can I go? No. Why not? Because. Oh, gee, you wait me up. Be quiet. Well, can't I come with you, Uncle? You can come with me if you'll keep quiet and stop asking questions. Okay. Where are we going? Out to the Eels. A reservoir. What for? I want to conduct some experiments. What kind? You'll see. Why so early, Uncle? I want to get the jump on the weather. How are you going to do that? You got it, Leroy. Stop asking questions. You'll see when we get there. I quit. Dad, first did I quit. No, Charlie. You can get yourself another boy. Charlie, all I ask you to do is cooperate with the professor and help him out. Professor, my eyes. That geek's as duffy as a bonny bird. Leroy, you know Uncle Charlie Anderson. Sure. Hi. Ah, kids. As I said before, I quit. Come along. You just let me handle the professor. You can have him. Look at him there with his head in that fool machine. He don't know what he's doing. This is a little out of your line, Charlie. That's all. Yeah, out of his tune. Good morning, professor. Ah, good morning, friend. A fine morning. But we've soon changed that, eh? What's that then? Now, Leroy, don't bother the professor. The professor is going to make rain for us. Oh, gosh, Aunt, you forgot your umbrellas. The kids all right. Well, don't encourage them. How about it, professor? Is your apparatus about ready? Yes, all hitched up. Just in time. Just make one more connection here. Fiddler, Fiddler. Listen, Tom. Now, if my good friend here will give me a hand with the engine, you're called out of urgent. Give him a hand, Charlie. Oh, silly. All right. You may fire when ready, Gridley. Oh. Just turn her over. Oh, crazy. You keep out of this, Leroy. Well, if at first you don't succeed, just try, try again. Once more into the bleach, dear friend. What? Turn it over again. Oh, that's silly. Everybody into the pub house when the rain starts. Ready? A lot of teabags. Oh, I can't understand it. It worked in Moose County. It worked at Hoosier Falls. What? I don't want to give up the ship. I'll make it rain if it takes all summer. Oh, spit in his eye. That's as close as he'll get to rain. Never mind, Charlie. We need the water. Let's save it. I knew it wouldn't work. Just an idea, that's all. Just an idea that cost $500. Is that for me? I certainly did, you'll just leave. Sit down. Take your time, Your Honor, whenever you're ready for me. I'm ready now. Sit down. Yes, sir. I'll report, but I want to... Never mind the report, Gilda Sleeve. What the devil is this? That, uh, oh. Well, I'll tell you, Your Honor. It's a requisition for $500, isn't it? Well, yes. And who authorized it? Uh, I did. You have no authority to requisition any such sum for your department and you know it. Well, it was an emergency, Your Honor. What is the money for? Well, it was, uh, to make it rain in Summerfield. To make it rain? $500 to make it rain? Who got the money? Jupiter Puvius? No, Professor T. Berry. He's a scientist. He knows a scientific way to make rain by electricity and I thought it'd be a good investment for the town. Hmm. When is the professor going to make his experiment, uh, Gilda Sleeve? Uh, he made it this morning. But I don't see any rain. Gilda Sleeve, I don't think this is going to surprise you particularly, but you're... I am not, I resign. You're fired. You can't fire me, you small town bureaucrat. I quit. Well, either way, clean out your desk today. I'll get going. Oh, okay. Some reports, reports. Throw them away. Average water pressure for the year 1942. Who cares about that? All water over the dam now. Here's something you might want to take with you, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. Uh, what's that? This, this clipping. It's a story in the indicator the day you became water commissioner. Oh, yeah, let me see it. A new era in public service was promised Summerfield citizens today by Trock Martin P. Gilda Sleeve. Who moved into his new office as water commissioner at City Hall this morning. Put it in my briefcase, Bessie. Yes, sir. Oh, me, the path of glory leads but to the grave. Were you speaking to me, Mr. Gilda Sleeve? Oh, no, I wasn't Bessie. That is not particularly. Well, I guess I might as well be going now. Oh, Mr. Gilda Sleeve, it isn't going to be the same without you. No, Bessie, you and the new commissioner will get along fine, whoever he is. Oh, but I like you. I can't stand to have you go. That's very nice of you, Bessie. I'll miss you, too. You may not be the best secretary in the world, but I'll miss you, it's the same. Oh, thank you. Now, Bessie, can't find it. Very commissioner. Charlie, what are you doing here? What's this I hear about you quitting? Well, it's true, Charlie. Well, if you quit, I quit. They could get another boy. That's the way I feel, too, Charlie. I want to quit, too. You keep quiet, that buster. I won't. I want you both to know, you, Bessie, you, Charlie, that I value your loyalty. I value your friendship. Yeah. It means a lot to me, but you've got to stay on. You've got to stick to your job. Yeah. The city needs water. You'll have a new commissioner in a few days, and he'll need your help. He'll need more than that. The intake pipe is high and dry right now. Goodbye, Mr. Gilda Sleeve. Where's my hat? Oh, got it on. Briefcase. Well, goodbye, Charlie. Goodbye, Bessie. Goodbye. Goodbye. Fine people. No man ever had better employees. Well, they'll carry on in the Gilda Sleeve tradition. Commissioners come, commissioners go, but the waterworks goes on forever. Good night. Good night. Good night. I give the best years of my life to the water department. What thanks do I get? Good night, commissioner. Commissioner. Oh, well, those are the breaks, kid. Miss Birdie. Mr. Gilles, see, I've fixed you something. I know you're going to like it. I just happened to make a jelly roll this afternoon. I know you man to like jelly rolls. Very sweet of you, Birdie, but I'm afraid I couldn't this evening. the truth I'm not very hungry somehow all you should take it so hard Mr. Guilford it ain't so bad being fired I was not fired buddy I resigned well it ain't so bad to resign well I think you were lucky to be fired uncle mort I mean it's lucky you thought of resigning I think it's the best thing that ever happened to you by you probably have all sorts of wonderful opportunities now such as what I don't know but something I'll turn up you think we'll starve won't not immediately I'd be glad to give all my music lessons and save money and I could quit school and take a job well I appreciate the offer my boy but that'll not be necessary if that's for me I'm not in this and done with the list is calling this book that must be fair McGee that you work I'll put him on paper was on your mind you have uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh sounds very interesting well if it pans out the way you say I might be willing to give up my job at the water works much obliged McGee I'll be hearing from you so long yeah well those are the brakes children McGee and I are going to make a million dollars good night everybody music on this program was directed by Claude sweeten this is Ken Carpenter speaking for the craft cheese company makers of parking margin and a complete line of famous quality food products crafted by to listen again next week at the same time for the further ventures of the great gilder sleeve your family is passing up fresh green salad here's how to stir up brand new appetite interest in these nourishing fresh vegetables for a new surprise touch of flavors zip up your salad dressings with tangy golden craft salad mustard it's creamy smooth and blended to crafts own special recipe made of choice mustard seed mild vinegar and fragrant spices so you can use craft salad mustard in all sorts of tempting ways it gives a grand flavor lift to cheese fondues and Welsh rabbits blend smoothly into an appetizing cream sauce for hot cooked vegetables adds delicious flavor to deviled eggs in the cold meat cut so have a jar of craft salad mustard handy whenever you prepare meals luncheons or snacks by that other favorite to craft mustard with nippy horseradish added head up your shopping list tomorrow with these two popular variety craft horseradish mustard and tangy golden craft salad mustard have you heard that Joan Davis and Jack Haley are back in the seal test village store consult your local newspaper for the time and station this is the national broadcasting company