 The reason why narcissists are so cold. The reason why they are so unemotional and friendly and welcoming and unsympathetic. The reason why they are so controlled restrained and inhospitable. The reason why narcissists are so cold is actually very simple. They are cold because they are lacking warmth. They were brought up in an environment where there was no love, where there was no fondness or tenderness. Where there was no feeling of concern, gentle affection or warmth. That was something that they didn't get to experience in their childhood. That was something that they didn't learn. So they grew up to become these cold hearted people who are lacking affection and warmth. They grew up to become unfeeling and loving and caring and sympathetic and emotional. They don't care to meet your emotional needs because no one ever met theirs. They never learned that that is an essential part of a relationship. They might have been spoiled in their childhood. They might have overindulged in material things but no one ever tried to connect with them on an emotional level. No one really took an interest in them. So they grew up believing that none of that really matters. They grew up believing that image and reputation is more important. They focus on superficial things, things that only exist on the surface. Because they learned that that's what gets them attention. The narcissists will always be cold. They will always lack affection and warmth. No matter what you do for them. No matter how you treat them. No matter how much you give to them. Because that is the dynamic that they have experienced in their childhood. They were taught that they are unlovable. They want love. They want to experience an intense feeling of deep affection. But that idea of love is very different to what yours might be. You may have learned that love is unconditional. Love is about acceptance. Or anything for the person you love. You believe in them. But for the narcissist, love is more about what you can do for them. To them love is about how you can improve their lives. Or make them feel better about themselves. The idea of love is very selfish. Narcissists only seek out people. Who they can use to meet their own needs. There is no need for love. That would only get in the way of them getting what they want. Their disorder is designed to help them survive emotionally. So it has to block and deny love to protect them. It has to block and deny love. To ensure that they always get their needs met. Sometimes it may seem as though the narcissist loves and cares about you. But it isn't real. Narcissists can be very manipulative. They know what you want to see. They know what you want to hear. They've studied people and movies. To see how they're supposed to act in a relationship. How they're supposed to display kindness and affection. But it's not coming from a real place inside of them. They are only doing it to get what they want from you. And you will notice this when you have an argument with them. They will always bring up everything they did for you. As though they only did it. Because they were expecting something in return. Nothing a narcissist does is for free. They are always expecting to profit at your expense. And you will find that whenever you are around a narcissist. You will always get the short end of the stick. Even while they are playing the victim. The longer you spend around them. The more demanding. And the more colder they will become. They will never be happy. They will never be satisfied. You are dealing with a bottomless bucket. That can never be filled. And you will only run yourself into the ground. Trying to please them. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon for see notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching at nagsfiver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.