 The worst thing the narcissist can do to you. There are many horrific things that narcissists do, but there is one thing that is worse than anything else. The narcissist will manipulate you. They will condition you into adjusting to them, into achieving their desired fit, appearance and result, into being more effective and suitable for them. Instead of you adjusting to what your needs are, to the things you must have for a satisfactory life, you're not attending to your own needs. Because you've been programmed to adjust to them, you have no limits to how you're dealing with them, so you're not looking around and seeing how your situation has become aggressively worse, to how you're becoming worse in character, quality and value. It's bringing you down, it's making you depressed, but it's under the radar, so you may not notice it initially, but the longer you stay with them, the more bits and pieces of your life start to disappear, which will never be found again, which will never see the light of day and it's never going to get better because they don't have your best interest in mind. They're only worried about their own needs, so when you're with them, you're damaging yourself and after a while you begin to lose your enjoyment and pleasure for life, you lose your satisfaction out of life, you're not benefiting by being with them. They're not giving you an advantage, so it will begin to affect your life, it will affect you financially, it will affect you sexually, you will develop all kinds of health problems, you will become depressed, especially when it's over, because you've been with them for such a long time. You won't even recognize yourself and it may take years for you to go back to being the person that you used to be, because you've invested so much of yourself into this person and you've received nothing back in return to replenish yourself, so you haven't got the strength to pick yourself back up again, you've lost all of the passion you once had for life, all of the love you had for relationships, you've become shy and timid, you feel nervous and uncomfortable in the company of other people, you're easily frightened, you're extremely self-conscious, you're not at ease with other people, when you used to be strong and confident, you could talk to anyone, you could deal with things efficiently, but now it seems like even the simplest of things are a difficult task, you don't know how to deal with life anymore, you don't know how to be yourself, because you've been who they need you to be, for such a long time that it's hard for you to get back to being who you were before, you're a ghost of who you used to be, it's like a distant memory, all you have are things that you remember from the past, because when you're dealing with a narcissist, you lose all of your money, you lose your career, your left lacking good qualities, you're at the end of your resources, you're reduced to a state of financial ruin, you're empty just like them, because you've given everything that you control over to them, so now there's no incentive, you don't have any motivation or enthusiasm, you've lost those feelings of energetic interest, those feelings of excitement and desire, you've become just like them, you've become depressed, you're no longer happy with anything, because it's hard for you to get back to being the person that you used to be after everything they did to you, all of the mind games, the manipulation, the lies, it's had an effect on you, it's affected your state of being comfortable, healthy and happy, and sometimes you've just got to look at yourself for what you are, and for who you've become, you're miserable, you're depressed, you're lonely, that's just how it is now, after you've been dealing with them for such a long time, but no matter how bad it gets, you just keep holding on, you keep trying to maintain your condition and position with them, you continue to do something difficult, while waiting for help, because you think that someone is coming to save you, well I can tell you right now that once you've given all that you have to give, they're not going to be there, they're not going to stick around, they're going to ghost you, they're going to end their relationship with you suddenly and without explanation, they're going to withdraw from all communication and you're going to be left stuck without any support, without any means to rebuild everything that they had destroyed, that's the last that you're going to take, and it's a significant loss, but it's no loss for them because they were never in it for the long run, they saw it as something temporary, it was nothing more than recreational use, it was for their own personal enjoyment, which is why they never invested anything into you, because they weren't trying to build anything with you, they were just with you for what they could get, which is why once they've gotten all they can get, they're out of there, there's no two ways about it, there's no hidden meaning to their behaviour, there's no other reason for them leaving, they got what they wanted and now they're gone, many of us overestimate our own nobilities, we think we can overcome anything that narcissists do to us, but sometimes you just have to look at it for what it is, some people never recover what they have lost, they never bounce back, they never return to their earlier condition, because at the end of the day we're all human, there's only so much damage that we can take and sometimes we end up broken beyond repair, to where there's no going back, there's no recovering what was lost and those are just the effects of dealing with narcissists, but it doesn't affect them, because they can move on, they can forget about you and they will be fine, because they've turned your life upside down, they've messed your life up, which is why many of them move on and they're good, they don't have any worries or problems, because they know the damage they've done to you, they've left you any condition where you're not going to be good for anyone else and they know that, so what do they have to worry about? Your life doesn't affect them, they can move on whenever they choose to and that's exactly what they're thinking in their minds, they know that they can walk away whenever they want and you're going to be the one who is left stuck, you're going to be the one who is left unable to fix things, because they know the damage they've done to you, it was pre-ordained from the very beginning, they already knew what they were going to do to you, so they know the mental condition that they have left you in, they know and they know how hard it would be for you to compensate for their faults, once they've turned your life upside down, they may have robbed you of your qualities and virtues, they may have stolen your money and possessions and maybe you can't recover what was lost, but you can recover, you can return to your normal state of health mind and strength, which is something that they're never going to be able to do, they can't recover because they don't think there's anything wrong with what they do, that thought doesn't even cross their minds, so they're always going to be this way, they're never going to get better, but you can, it may be hard for you to recover, but it can be done, some people never recover, but a lot of people do, it's not definitive, it's not a guarantee, you're not just going to quickly return to your previous condition after dealing with them, you need the right type of help and advice from someone who has already been through it and while I am not a doctor or a medical professional, I can guide you through this process, I have coached hundreds of clients over the past four years including psychologists, psychotherapists, lawyers and even some celebrities and the most powerful thing that I can offer to you is my belief that you can recover from this, I believe in you, I believe in your future, I believe that you have something to contribute to the world and that is why I am willing to invest everything I have into you, I see something in you that you may not be able to see right now, you have light, you have power, you just need to find the motivation within you and it all begins now, what you do now will determine your future, it will dictate the outcome and results, there were times in my life where I felt like giving up, there were times where I did give up but then I got back on my feet, I kept pushing forward and that's what you need to do now so that you can get past this hurdle so that you can move on to greater things and that is why I offer my one-on-one coaching program to help you to do just that but you need to have that motivation, you need to be ready or it's not going to work so if you are ready to make a difference in your life, I invite you to Bokeh One-on-one with me, head to my website it's NarcSurvivor.co.uk, Bokeh time and day that suits you and let's talk about it, let's make a new beginning